


Re:DO

by ULTIOcean



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Altean Keith (Voltron), Alternate Realities, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Bisexual Lance (Voltron), Black Paladin Lance (Voltron), Blood and Injury, Death, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Female Pronouns for Pidge | Katie Holt, Good guy Lotor, How Do I Tag, Hurt Lance (Voltron), Hurt/Comfort, Insecure Lance (Voltron), Lance (Voltron) Speaks Spanish, Lance (Voltron) Whump, Lance (Voltron) is a Mess, Lance (Voltron)-centric, Lance loses his shit, M/M, Made Up Technology, Many Deaths, Murder, Quintessence fucks shit up, Slow Burn, Suicide, Temporary Character Death, There's A Tag For That, Time Loop, Trauma, Violence, Vomiting, also when i said slowburn I MEANT IT, alternate team voltron, and gore too, and other bad stuff, and when he does he goes back in time, beware of spoliers from here on out, but not permanent, groudhog day, klance, lance can't really die, made up planets and aliens, more or less, plot heavy, set after S02 ignoring S03, some mild horror for chapter 12, spoilers for s03, talks about mental manipulation, the lions love Lance, to try again
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-08-08
Updated: 2018-10-01
Packaged: 2018-12-12 23:01:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 15
Words: 335,206
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11747007
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ULTIOcean/pseuds/ULTIOcean
Summary: After Shiro's disappearance, the paladins struggle to go on and continue fighting against the Galra Empire, they switch lions with Keith as their leader and try to be whole again, but nobody knows exactly where to go from there, how to search for their lost friend, and each of them deals with the loss in their own way.Meanwhile, Lance battles his insecurities and loneliness and tries to find what he contributes to the team, wishing to have something that made him special like his teammates. But on a rescue mission to a barren planet, they find someone they didn't expect, and when a fight ensues, Lance gets more than he bargained for when he gains something that settles a new path in front of him.Maybe he should have been more careful with what he wished for."This is the thirteenth time already, I can't keep doing this, I'm going mad, I can't stop it, I can't save you!" Lance cried, full out sobbing in the darkness of his room, it was hopeless, he was stuck and nobody could help him, no matter what he did, it was always the same, and he knew he was slowly spiraling into insanity, and the worst part? He couldn't tell anyone, even if he wanted to, he'd tried, he'd nearly choked, he never felt so alone.





	1. Rewind

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, first of all, welcome to this monster of a fic I'll be working on, it's my first written project, so I'm parts equally excited and scared to post it, but I worked really hard on it not to, so I want to share it with everyone who enjoys Voltron as much as I do, it was supposed to be for Lance's birthday, but i couldn't finish on time, now before you begin reading, there's a few things I want to share:
> 
> -First of all my main language is not English, is Spanish, so please be understanding and forgive any grammatical errors you might find, you're free to correct me as long as you're constructive and polite, i'd love to improve.
> 
> -Second, my job doesn't leave me enough time to write all that i'd want, I do so on my free time as well as drawing, so i'll probably update every month, or every two months, and the chapters will probably be as long.
> 
> -As I said earlier, this is my first fanfic ever, i'm more of a drawing person, never wrote anything in my life because i've never been too deep in any fandom, but Voltron did it for me, I love the series and the characters, and I wanted to try and do something to contribute to the fandom, hence this project was born.
> 
> -I ask that you give a chance to this fic, there's a lot of introspective thoughts from Lance, the first part of this chapter is mostly how Lance interacts with the other paladins and how he feels, something like a prologue for the story, after that, though, the real stuff begins.
> 
> -I hope you enjoy this story as much as I enjoyed writing it, feel free to give suggestions on how to improve or just talk to me about the story, updates will be slow, but they will come, i hate leaving things unfinished, so it will be done, i promise.
> 
> -This fic will have a happy ending, don't mind the tags at all, i'm a sap and can't deal with sadness, so everyone will be happy in the end, trust me.
> 
> -Have fun.

 Dying was _so_ tiring.

  
Those were his thoughts as he looked down to see the lance _(_ ha, g _et it, lance?)_ that had impaled him trough his torso.

  
He was honestly so done with this, but it was his only escape, his chance to make things right, to be useful for the team and save everyone from pain and sadness, so as much as he hated it, as much as he knew he was self destructing, he had no choice but to accept it, he could only lay there and wait for his life to flow slowly out of him, until the screams of his teammates and aliens alike got drowned by the sounds of his wheezing breaths, his wet, bloody coughs, and the ringing in his ears that got louder and louder until his hearing disappeared, his vision began fading fast and darkness wrapped around him, then, he was no more.

  
...

  
He opened his eyes with a startled cough, and wondered, for the umpteenth time, how he was still sane after all this, or maybe he wasn't, he really couldn't tell at this point, but he remembered, clearly as day how it all began, how he gained something that he really, really didn't want, but couldn't stand not to have anymore, he'd become dependent on it even if it was destroying him slowly, but surely, from inside.

  
\--

  
(Four months ago)

  
Lance knew they didn't do it on purpose, really, he knew his team liked him _(_ t _o some extent_ ), that they appreciated him, that they didn't mean to leave him out of conversations or briefings on purpose, neither ignore his ideas or tactics because they couldn't see past his fake persona ( _not their fault really, since he showed that persona to everyone and his act never wavered, nobody even knew it was fake, nobody but him and he was a master of fake it till you make it)_ , he knew he could get overwhelming at times, his boisterous personality and endless energy not something everyone could take, but the fact was that it still hurt.

  
He knew he was being unfair, but he couldn't help it, he was the youngest at his household, used to be pampered and given attention at any given moment by any of his brothers and sisters, or any relative that was close by, but here at the castle, and specially after Shiro's disappearance, everyone was more withdrawn, keeping to themselves and barely interacting with one another outside of missions, and even the Blade had gone away to stock on supplies, so he had no one to talk to.

  
With Shiro gone, they tried to find a solution to the "not being able to form Voltron" problem, and since they couldn't find a way, they let the lions decide what to do, in the end Black choose Keith to pilot him ( _which pissed him off to no end, even if he understood_ ) and then, to his surprise, when he accepted the red paladin as lider, leaving his petty grudge aside, Red choose him to pilot her, he didn't want to leave Blue, not at all, but his beautiful lion choose Allura as her new paladin, and with the new formation done, they could finally form Voltron again.

  
They found out later that they still could pilot their respective lions, Lance could still pilot Blue and Keith, Red, so they could switch if the mission called for it. The changes done to the team were hard to adjust to, Red was quicker than Blue, never thinking about her movements and instead just _moving_ , instincts guiding her path, still, not everything was bad, he felt loved every time he heard both _his_ lions purr in his mind, they seemed to love reminding him how much they cared about him, and he appreciated it, but at the moment, he wanted his team.

  
It was hard on him, he craved the attention, the human interaction, coming from a home where it was never silent, where every second you could hear the sound of someone moving around the house, the silence drove him crazy.

  
His teammates were oblivious to his inner turmoil, his feelings of not being good enough, his insecurities, homesickness eating at him little by little, as of right now, though, those problems were left on the back of his mind, and instead he could list some of the reasons his day was being shitty , his friends being closed off and making him feel like he was so, so alone.

  
Earlier today they were talking about a stealth mission, going over Keith's plan, Lance saw a mistake on it, nothing too serious, really, but a part of the plan could be improved, their escape more swift if they took another route that Lance found on the map, he tried to tell them this with an encouraging smile from Coran supporting him, but Allura, always stern and aware of his playful character, told him in a calm and sweet, but otherwise final tone of voice, that they didn't have time to change anything, that his addition to the plan would have to wait for the next time, she said so with a smile, but he knew there wasn't gonna be a next time.

  
The fact that Allura didn't take him seriously wounded him deep, he knew it was mostly his fault, really, if you showed someone only your bad traits or none at all, what reason do they have to believe you are something more? Still, he thought she would see behind his smile and his flirting, and had to remind himself that she was an _alien_ and she didn't know shit about human behavior, her race probably didn't act that way.

  
Next thing on his list was, of course, _Keith_ , his rival, the person he loathed the most at the moment, his jealousy and insecurities making it impossible to form any sort of friendship with the red paladin, he was trying, really, but Iverson's words resounded in his mind, mocking him every time he so much as tried talking to Keith, making him rile him up instead, it was getting to be a lost cause.

  
Keith was training when Lance arrived on the training deck, surprising him and making the gladiator kick him flat on his back, his glare was instantaneous, but not as hateful as Lance would like, he knew, deep inside, that Keith didn't hate him and this rivalry was completely one-sided, and it sucked, because it made him feel guilty for the way he treated the red paladin, if he hated him back it would be so much easier.

  
"Hey Keith, watcha doin'?" he waved with his hand, like he just didn't take victory right out of the other's hands.

  
"I was just training until _someone_ interrupted me" he glared again for added effect and yep, Lance was regretting his decision right about now, but he never backed down when his mind was set on something, so he continued talking.

  
" I see, I see, I was just passing by, but might was well ask since I'm already here and you're free - _Keith made a sour face at that, like he chewed on a lemon or something_ \- I thought you could help me with my hand to hand combat."  
Keith looked surprised for a tick and then thoughtful for another, after seemingly deliberating whether or not Lance was worth his time, he answered him.

  
"Okay, fine, but no slacking off, or whining, or flirting of any kind, are we clear?" he felt kind of mad that Keith thought he would ask for help and then be annoying all the while just for the heck of it. He could take things seriously, he often acted like he didn't, though, in favor of cheering up his team, keeping them smiling even if it was at his own expense.

  
Instead of letting any of his bitterness get the best of him, he answered with a simple "Ok" and they began training, Keith was merciless, drilling him harder and harder, giving him bruise after bruise when Lance couldn't block properly - _always apologizing after, which wtf keith_ \- teaching him move after move without pause, but, after two hours he could see he was getting frustrated, he knew his hand to hand wasn't top notch, but it was average at least, only, it seemed that wasn't enough for Keith.

  
"Jesus Lance, pay attention, not like that!" He looked kind of pissed, not at Lance, but.... more like exasperated because he knew Lance could do better, and didn't.

  
"I'm trying ok? You know hand to hand is not my thing!" he was exhausted, a nap sounded so good right about now.

  
"Then you're not trying hard enough, if you put in more effort I'm sure you wouldn't be so useless!!"

  
The silence after the outburst was deafening, Lance just stood there, eyes wide, expression hurt - _he knew because wow did it hurt_ \- and Keith, he looked like he was regretting being born at all in that moment, mouth hanging open, and hands flailing around as if trying to hold onto whatever scrap of friendship they had, because as far as he was concerned, whatever they could of had just died, not trying hard enough?

  
He was fucking trying, dealing with the loss of his family, his home, everything he ever knew being stripped away from him, his insecurities, his loneliness, the fear of not being good enough, of being replaceable, of being alone.

  
And still he smiled everyday, for the team, he joked around and flirted and dispelled the tension from everyone's shoulders, for the team, fought alongside blue even when he was terrified that his next battle was gonna be the last, that he would take his last breath alone, far away from home and everything he loves, for the team.

  
Cried himself to sleep, eating even though he hated the food, continued acting oblivious and cheerry even though his team neglected him sometimes in favor of more important things, for the team.

  
He was putting in so much effort, maybe his problems looked insignificant to anyone else, but to him, they cut deep, he was trying so hard, he didn't know how much more he could take until he broke, his eyes stung, and his throat burned, his brows were furrowed, he knew, but he was not going to cry in front of Keith, wouldn't let him know he broke him.

  
The seemingly fake hate that Lance had going, suddenly turned much more real that he could ever had imagined, Keith had become so obsessed with looking for Shiro, pushing everyone to their limits, pushing their buttons again and again, being extremely angry and rash, impulsive and reckless and on edge, and Lance was sick of it , everyone missed Shiro just as much, they wanted to find him just as quickly, to be whole again, and if Keith couldn't see that, if he didn't see that Lance and the others were also struggling, what was the point in trying with him anymore?

  
The red paladin looked horrified then, about to open his mouth to say god knows what, but Lance interrupted him, his voice hoarse and full of disgust, for once, truly unadulterated venom in his words.

    
"I see, so that's how it is-"

  
"Lance I'm sorry I didn't meant to-"

  
"If we are _done_ \- _he punctuated the word done and Keith's face got paler, if that was even possible_ \- I'll be going back to my room, hasta nunca, desgraciado" and with that he stormed off, leaving a part of him in that training room, watching the possibility of a friendship with Keith shatter and disappear into the vastness of space.

  
If he would have looked back, he would have seen that Keith, for the first time since Shiro disappeared _(twice)_ was crying silently, a few tears dropping to the floor, his face red both from shame and anger, knowing without anyone telling him that he had royally fucked up, and that any chance he had of befriending Lance, and finally understanding him, had died.

 

\--

  
He was seething as he left, stomping trough the corridor right to his room, body shaking so fiercely he thought he would break, he really wasn't even mad that Keith called him useless at hand to hand, he knows his skills aren't top-notch, the part that really got to him was the " _effort"_ part, he couldn't help but snap.

  
Halfway trough the hallway he changed his mind, he didn't want to stew in his own pit of self hate and anxiety for the rest of the day, so he decided to look for Hunk.

  
Hunk, who told him to always come to him if something was wrong, if he needed a shoulder to cry on, vent, talk, or just sit in silence, making each other company...yeah, he definitely needed that.

  
With that idea in mind he choose to look for him on the common room first, if he wasn't there then he would trek to the kitchen, were he was surely baking something amazing, just as he neared the door to the common room, it opened and Hunk came out, smiling at something.

  
That something was Pidge, who looked down right enthusiastic about whatever she and Hunk were talking about, both of them walked to the end of the corridor, to where their shared lab ( _Pidge's evil lair more likely_ ) was located, he pondered just going back to his room, since they looked busy and wandering into Pidge's territory equals risking your life or your sanity, or both, her experiments getting crazier everyday.

  
After weighing the pros and cons for a while, his thoughs a mess and his self-esteem at ground level, he thought that yes, he was willing to risk his physical integrity for some good ol' Hunk time.

  
Feeling brave _(more like defeated_ ) and wanting to relish in the company of his best friend no matter what, he opened the door to a funny sight, Pidge and Hunk were both sitting cross-legged on the floor, looking up at a cube that changed color every few ticks, they were so focused that when he talked they were quite startled.

  
"Hey guys, what's that?" Hunk automatically turned to look at him, a smile on his face, while Pidge just hummed and played with the cube.

  
"Hey Lance!!, buddy do you see this cube? It's kind of amazing dude, Pidge designed it, it's a cube that detects emotions and changes color accordingly, isn't it cool, man?" Lance smiled despite himself, his best friend had that effect on him, if he smiles at you, you smiled back, no matter what.

  
"I didn't design it by myself, Hunk, without your help I wouldn't have finished it, I needed to decode that program and translate the coding, I also needed to search for the right synapses to-" Lance tuned them out after that, technical jargon was not his thing, but his friends looked happy, so he let them talk while he waited, after a few minutes they were back on track.

  
"This thing works, I know it does" - Pidge mumbled "It's just, we can't pinpoint _which_ emotion relates to what color, we thought we could use it as a lie detector or something, but we need to make a reference chart, and honestly, making yourself feel emotions on a whim it's not as easy as it seems."

  
"Yeah." Hunk agreed " We were testing it, so I thought of my mom, her pep talks, her hugs, the way she said my name when she was proud of me or when she would smile while tasting something I made, then my mind drifted to home, the park near my house, always full of children and cute dogs, the smell of the earth after rain, the sunrise, and it turned kinda green, so we wrote that down as affection and longing."

  
"I thought of Matt and dad and...Shiro too" Pidge added "And it turned brown, so that was definitely sadness, and then I saw team Voltron, the Olkari and stuff and it turned green too, so we know we were right on that one" Lance was awed, was there nothing these two couldn't do? A bit of jealousy found it's way into the forefront of his mind, but he drove it away, there was no place for it when he was feeling so damn proud of his friends.

  
Pidge looked deep in thought before she glanced at Lance, and you could literally see the light bulb switch on above her head, a smirk growing on her face.

  
"Hey Lance, why don't you try it? You are the one out of all of us that shows the most emotion, maybe you could help us finish our chart" She was so sure of it, and Hunk looked like he agreed so much, that he couldn't say no, his friends puppy dog eyes were invincible.

  
He approached the cube and held it gently, let images of his mom, Varadero beach, his siblings and his house fill his mind, and the cube turned a light green, Pidge jotted that down and looked at him earnestly.

  
Next he let images of Earth fill his mindscape, as well as the things he's missed, birthdays, new years, his big brother's graduation, the first day of school of his niece, the birth of his sister's second child...and when he opened his eyes the cube was blue.

  
"Ohhhh, that's new, what were you thinking about?" Pidge asked.

  
"About the things I missed and will continue to miss while being here in space, far far away from home" He told her solemnly, a guilty look crossed her face, but then her expression changed into one that said "It's for science" and urged him to continue while she wrote Blue= Sadness, and man, wasn't that about right.

  
He didn't know what to think of next, until Hunk suggested the idea that he think of Keith, and before he could let go of the cube, his mind already fixated on thoughts of the red paladin, and it began to change color, first it turned Red= Anger ( _so fitting, if he was being honest),_ then blue, then pink, then white, and at last it became an inky black, and even though Lance didn't know what it meant, he had a feeling that he did.

  
As quick as he could, he let go of the wretched thing and stalked out of the room, his mood plummeted to the floor and he forgot what it was that he came for in the first place, his mind was in disarray, his feelings in turmoil, and he honestly felt like crying at the moment. He closed his room's door with the code and threw himself on the bed face down, _'so much for some Hunk time'._

  
It had been a while since he and his best friend had some bonding time, he was so busy lately, tinkering with machines, upgrading the castle systems, updating the lions with new programs and abilities, being a genius with Pidge and stuff, he felt...left out, and the worst part was that they didn't even know, or notice, how alone he felt, neither did they do it on purpose _(of course not)_ but it was tearing him inside, rapidly.

  
He felt, not for the umpteenth time, that he didn't have a place on the team, because when you get down to it , what did he contribute? Everyone has distinguishing skills and qualities, something that made them unique, and he had...nothing.

  
Everytime he tried to share his strategies with Allura on a briefing for a mission, she would kindly, but sternly, tell him they had to be careful, and that she rather talk it out with Coran, who has way more experience than any of them as a tactician, later on, he would learn that Keith had shared some crazy, non productive, and dangerous idea, and she had agreed to think about adding it to the plan, and even if she didn't do it in the end, she still considered it, heard him out, and it hurt deep.

  
Pidge and Hunk were their own brand of genius, being able to build anything and create everything they wished, whenever he showed some interest in their projects, trying to be a good friend and show that he was interested, they would go on a techno-rant _(with Hunk he was used to it, but still)_ about science, technology or both.

  
And as soon as Lance spaced out for even a tick, they would laugh a little, apologize for talking so much about technical stuff, and tell him to go do something he enjoyed, since they knew their hobbies were boring to him, which was far away from the truth.

  
He was just trying to process the info they gave him, it was some advanced stuff, but he wasn't an idiot, he could learn ( _he wanted to, for their sake)_ but they saw it as him being disinterested, or not understanding, their minds focused on thoughts like, _'Lance probably doesn't like or understand this, we don't want to bore him, he'll be happier doing something else'._

  
And again, it kinda hurt, he wanted to learn, to get better, to improve, but they wouldn't let him, Shiro used to reprimand him on a daily basis, _(always gentle and soft, he misses him, really)_ if it wasn't because of his overwhelming personality, it was because of his endless supply of energy that made him bouncy and hyperactive, and it got to the point where he was doubtful of talking at all, fearing being shut down before he could even intervene.

  
Not everyone was like that, though, Coran _(best space uncle)_ and the lions _(yes, all five of them)_ really cared and worried about him and his loneliness, not that the team didn't, but...it was different, Coran would listen to him vent or talk about his family, and in turn, he would lend an ear when the older man shared stories about Alfor, Altea, and all the people he held dear.

  
The lions where another story altogether, it began one day when everything was too much, he felt overwhelmed and was on the verge of a panick attack, he walked to the main hangar without even noticing, and before he could get to Blue, his body just shut down, breaths short, eyes stinging and throat burning.

  
He remembers closing his eyes, and upon opening them was greeted by the sight of five giant robotic alien lions all curled around him in a circle, their purrs resounding in his mind,filling him with so much warmth, so much love, love, love, he felt full to the brim.

  
He cried for the good part of an hour after that, and discovered, astoundingly, that all the lions let him inside, except Red, because of course she would be the exception, they shared their minds with him, letting him know he was loved, appreciated, a vital part of Voltron, of their hearts, that could never be replaced, and then asked, quite timidly for then thousand year old mechanical lions, if he knew that the paladins loved him just as much.

  
He hesitated for a tick, but he knew, of course he knew, it was in the little things they did for him, the way Shiro would check on him after every mission, always asking if he was okay or needed anything from him, it was in the way Pidge would lend him her headphones and laptop when she knew he was homesick, in the way that Hunk would try to make him food that wasn't goo, trying to imitate the taste of mangoes and pineapple when he saw Lance was feeling down.

  
Even Allura would indulge him with some small vacations on water planets when training sessions and the fights would be too much and he was ready to snap, and Coran was always supportive and encouraging, a father figure he appreciated more than he let on.

  
Still, the fact that he knew they loved him didn't make him forget that they still acted inconsiderate towards him, even unknowingly, people who love each other also hurt each other, it may be subconsciously, but it hurts nonetheless. He told the lions that, and they understood, they had seen a lot of people over the centuries who loved each other dearly, and ended up causing pain to the people they held dear for a variety of reasons, sometimes something as simple as not paying attention to that person, or not communicating enough.

  
The lions accepted his feelings, and his day ended on a better note than it had begun.

  
And then, of course, there was Keith, he was the only one he couldn't figure out, his thoughts on him always a mess, even back then, and Red ended up not letting him in because he couldn't decide how he felt about the red paladin, but it was fine by him, honestly, they were both a handful, and after their fight on the training room he doubted they would be able to form voltron at all... .

  
Which bought back a lot of the anxiety he had being keeping at bay, what if because of the rift in their relationship they couldn't form Voltron anymore? Did he just doom the entire universe because of a personal grudge? Was he really so childish that he just risked everything he held dear because he felt hurt for a few words Keith had said? Oh god, was he really so stupid that he didn't think about that? About the consequences of his actions? Shiro would be giving him the disappointed dad look right about now.

  
His insecurities were eating him alive, he couldn't do this, the responsibility of saving the universe was too much for him, so many lives were on his hands, he couldn't even get mad at a teammate for fear of dooming everyone and everything he ever knew, he wasn't made for this, he didn't want any of this, he was just a boy from cuba!! Just your average guy that got lucky shooting a gun!! Nothing special about him, nothing at all!

  
He was panicking, so he took a deep breath and tried to calm himself, while he counted his breaths he looked for a distraction and his eyes landed on the space clock Pidge had designed, it was big like a brick and black in color and had both Altean and Earth time, it read 20:00 PM, Day 179 of Voltron, they began counting when they left their homes all those months ago, it had been such a long time, almost half a year, he really missed his family.

  
Feeling slighly better he closed his eyes and tried to remember the advice his mom gave him when he was feeling insecure, and began trying to sort out his feelings, fight his inner demons one by one and maybe emerge after, feeling less like a waste of space.

  
_'Okay, first off, I didn't get lucky with a gun, I trained hard, really hard to achieve perfect aim, dad always said I hat the eyes of a bird of prey, with reflexes so fast I could change aim in less than a second, and stable hands that made sure that if I pulled the trigger, it was bullseye, he believed that I could hit anything I set my sight on. I often used to play paintball with everyone and I always won, even when I battled older people, guys that knew what they were doing, or that were going to a military academy soon, when I sniped, I was invincible._

  
_Of course in space was different, but I also trained really hard with my bayard when nobody was looking, yeah, so it's understandable that the team thinks I slack off, but I worked hard for them, to be a part of the team, of this family, to add to our fire power and protect everyone, I **am** the sharpshooter, no matter what my brain says, no matter if it doesn't feel like anyone believes it, my skills are real, my outgoing personality and boisterous attitude don't forgo the fact that I could turn any enemy into minced meat with my gun in less than a tick.'_

  
Nodding to himself, and feeling slightly less like shit, he decided he was too tired to deal with anything else, too spent to even do his nightly routine, so he dressed on his pajamas, crambled onto the bed and under the covers, and hoped that tomorrow would be a better day.

  
Spoiler alert, it was not.

  
\--

  
About eight hours later ( _if his space clock wasn't mistaken, it read 4:00 AM, Day 180 of Voltron)_ he woke up to the castle alarms blaring extremely loud, Allura's voice sounding urgent enough for him to know this was not one of her usual drills.

  
"Paladins, report to the control room immediately, we have an emergency in our hands, suit up and be ready to depart at any moment" She sounded worried and enraged, so Lance wasted no time in putting on his armor as quick as he could, he grabbed his bayard on his way out and raced to the bridge.

  
When he got there, Keith was already talking with Allura about whatever it was they were doing, Pidge was typing on her laptop and Hunk, leaning on the farthest wall on the right, looked nervous enough to have an anxiety attack any moment now. Before he could comfort him though, Allura turned to them, her expression severe, with an air of calm rage that made all of them straighten their backs and tense instantly.

  
"Paladins, as I have mentioned earlier, we have an emergency" She turned to the controls and with a few clicks an image showed up.

  
"This - _she pointed to a planet that was more grey than brown, with little pink dots here and there_ \- is Horaxia, they sent us a distress signal a few vargas ago, this planet was well known for being a distributor of food to a good part of the known universe, and it seems the galra invaded their homes, enslaved their people, and sucked their resources dry." She looked downright furious while she was explaining the situation, after a deep breath, she continued.

  
"The planet used to be full of pink forests and fields of flowers so beautiful, that it was considered one of the wonders of the universe, protected by law to remain untouched. Now though, the galra have destroyed it, and the planet only remains as an outpost to replenish fuel on their ships before continuing their journey." She paused to gather her thoughts, some of her composure coming back, her voice never wavering.

  
"Nonetheless, the Horaxians that remain alive are still enslaved and asked for our assistance, Keith if you will." She looked straight at him before moving away to let him take her place, he looked slightly uncomfortable, his role as leader still new to him, his eyes landed on Lance for a tick before moving away, Lance guessed their early fight had something to do with that, not that he cared.

  
"Allura and I have been talking about this mission, we sent a drone; good job by the way Pidge - _she smiled at him for that_ \- to scout the area before jumping in, it seems only drones and sentries remain on the planet, along with some battleships." He paused a minute to gather his thoughts before talking again, Lance was really getting impatient and restless, he had the sudden urge to do something, anything to burn out the energy that had suddenly appeared out of nowhere.

  
"Our strategy is simple, we will split up in two groups, Hunk and Pidge will go to the planet on Green and use her cloaking device to sneak in." Keith pressed a button on the console and a map of the planet opened up, it was extremely big, and extremely barren.

  
"They will round this mountain here, on the far east of the prisoner camp, and proceed to evacuate all the captives they can find." He shifted his gaze to the both of them " You'll need to be silent and swift, if you alert the sentries, you will soon be overwhelmed, their numbers are too much to engage, be sure to use stealth as your main weapon."

  
Both Hunk and Pidge nodded, a determined fire flaming in their eyes, the Keith turned to look at him, and he froze because...because if they were splitting up, it meant he was with Keith, he gritted his teeth at the idea of being with him more than necessary, but eventually settled for a glare.

  
"Lance, you are with me." His voice stuttered a little, and Lance wanted to be satisfied, to be mad, resentful, but only a hollow feeling was left in the wake of their fight.

  
"We will go with Black and Red and be a distraction, if we come across any enemies, we'll destroy them while luring them away from the captives, we need them to focus their attention on us." Lance didn't speak, didn't want to, for fear of letting out all he was feeling in the tone of his voice, so he resorted to nodding and crossing his arms on his chest.

  
Keith nodded back, and redirected his attention to the screen "Allura will remain in the castle with Coran for this mission, if we need to form Voltron, she'll come to help, let's just hope it doesn't come to that." She smiled at him while Coran looked happy to be able to spend some time with the princess, after that it was more talk about the terrain of the planet, the condition it was in, and a lot of techno babble from Pidge he really didn't listen to.

  
About half an hour later they were dismissed by Allura and told to go straight to their lions, Lance only took a few minutes to ready himself, taking deep breaths and trying to relax his tense muscles, then he opened his eyes and dived right to the zip line.

  
Once on Red, he could feel her loud purring, along the other four, and his head felt like it was full of kittens, wich made him let out a honest giggle before he could stop himself, the lions, delighted that they managed to cheer him up, retreated from his mind to concentrate on flying with their paladins.

  
His attention shifted to the front as the comms came to life, Allura's face showing up on their dashboard.

  
"Paladins, it is of the utmost importance that we succeed on this mission, the resources they could help us find and the connections Horaxia has to other planets will be extremely important on the fight against the empire, they were once revered as the best traders and merchants in the universe, always giving fair offers and willing to trade if you found yourself short of money, they were an honest race that worked hard to achieve what they had , we may be doing this because it's needed in this war but do not forget , we are Voltron, we help those in need, we emerge victorious, we cannot fail." Her voice, hardened with determination filled them with courage and the energy to go on, all of them replied at the same time.

  
"Yes, Princess."

  
\--

  
The flight to the planet was, for the most part, boring, Lance found himself talking to Red or Black more often than not about whatever came to mind, trying to distract his brain from the events earlier today that left him feeling sour all day. He knew Keith was taking Shiro's disappearance hard, he was like a brother to him, he understood that, but it was no excuse to treat Lance like that, or snap at him for no reason other than his own frustration.

  
Realizing that his thoughts were spiraling out of control yet again, he looked at the screen, and noticed that they were already within orbit of Horaxia.

  
"Well, we're gonna be on our way, guys." Hunk's voice came over the comms "Good luck being a distraction, don't do anything reckless, both of you." Lance snorted at that, as if Keith could keep himself out of trouble for more than a few hours.

  
"Yeah, yeah, have fun being stealthy and stuff." Lance replied, Hunk and Pidge gave him a thumbs up and then they were on their way, on the screen next to theirs, Keith signaled for them to go into the atmosphere, he felt himself shake in anticipation, or maybe nerves, he couldn't tell.

  
As soon as they breached the clouds, though, lasers of all kinds began shooting at them, and he thought that, no, it was not excitement he felt, but more like dread, but still he tried his best to calm down and focus.

  
For Lance it was relatively easy to get lost in the heat of battle, shoot, shield, dodge, outmaneuver, freeze, destroy, jump, repeat, the motions calming and familiar while he was in Red with Blue on his mind supporting him, he would be swept by the loud snapping of the cannons, the sound of metal being crushed, Keith barking orders over the comms, and before he knew it, Pidge contacted them saying that the slaves were secure, and Red charged her cannon to the max and released an attack that completely destroyed what was left of the galra base that had been attacking them.

  
"Awww yeah, another mission accomplished, good job Lance" Hunk's voice carried warmly trough their helmets, Pidge whooping from the background, and even Keith seemed pleased with the outcome, but Lance...not so much, he was still strung up, muscles more tense than ever, and the dread he had been feeling when they arrived was back tenfold, stronger and harsher, sweat forming on his forehead and falling down his temple.

  
Blue purred in his mind, worrying about him from whitin the castle, and not a tick later she and Red were growling, hard and fierce, protective, and Lance's eyes snapped up to look at something to the right of his lion.

  
"What the fuck is that?" His voice came out high pitched and he sounded mildly hysterical, but it was quickly forgotten in favor of looking at the big ass battleship that had just appeared out of nowhere, it was different, bigger than any other ship they had ever seen, it's appearance was...if Lance had to describe it, he would say it looked royal, made for a king, it was coated in gold accents, it's materials shiny and sturdy, giving off the impression of being indestructible, of being important.

  
They were soon hiding themselves behind a mountain, waiting to see what the ship would do, but it just floated aimlessly, making them more anxious than they already were.

  
"Keith, what should we do?" Pidge's worried voice sounded small, like something bad would happen if she talked too loud, Keith looked pensive on the screen, troubled and distressed all in one, thinking of the best course of action.

  
"This battleship looks valuable, it could be housing an important member of the galra empire, maybe someone of a noble family or royalty, we could find some useful information in there, about their strategies, their plans...or even Shiro." He sounded doubtful, but also hopeful that it may be the case, either way Lance knew they were going in.

  
"We should go inside, sneak in unnoticed, and try and scavenge for any data we can, there may be some prisoners on that ship too, so we need to rescue them, from the looks of it they could also know something that may help us." Keith finished giving out his orders, they all answered enthusiastically at the prospect of finding Shiro or even Matt ( _Pidge was losing hope everyday, but still refused to give up on them, she was so brave)_ and flew towards the back of the ship on it's blind spot, then got off the lions, they used the thrusters to get inside trough a vent as quietly as possible given the circumstances.

  
The inside of the vessel was lavishly decorated, golden accents and expensive looking furniture filled the first room they found themselves in, Lance busied himself looking around and poking at everything as if it would give him all the answers he seeked, after examining the room, Keith decided that splitting up would be a good idea, so Hunk and Pidge _(who was ecstatic)_ left to retrieve any data they could get from the main frame.

  
Meanwhile Lance was worried, as they were walking though the hallways, they hadn't seen any drones or sentries, not even a soldier doing rounds around the ship, on a craft as expensive and valuable as this one looked, wouldn't it have higher security?

  
He was beginning to feel like this was more of a trap than anything else, and was ready to get Keith and bolt out of there when he caught sight of a row of prison cells, he got Keith's attention by graving his shoulder and pointed to the cells, he nodded at him and they began walking towards them, both wary and tense in the complete silence of the corridors, not a sound could be heard except their breaths, too loud for Lance's liking, he felt on edge.

  
All the cells so far were empty, no prisoner or guards or anyone to tell them what was going on, and then, as they were getting ready to leave, he caught sight of something on the last cell, a shock of white hair, and for a second, a happy beautiful second, he thought it was Shiro, he ran there, stood at the door and gazed upon the man sitting cross-legged on the floor.

  
When the man caught sight of Lance, he got up, straightened up to his full height _(holy shit he was tall)_ and asked in a grave velvet voice.

  
"Who are you?" And now that Lance saw him up close, he noticed, the purple skin, yellow and blue eyes that glinted in the low lights of the ship, he was in a prison cell, yeah, but he looked regal and dignified and it was painfully obvious this guy was important.

  
" I could ask the same of you, care to explain why are you in a cell when you're clearly galra?" Lance didn't sound suspicious, put zero malice in his voice, it was just a honest question, he was curious as to who this guy was and what his imprisonment could mean, before he got far with his questioning though, a hand on his shoulder made him turn back to a furious Keith glaring daggers at him, jesus, he needed to find his chill.

  
"The hell are you doing Lance? Do not talk to him, he could alert the sentries!! We need to regroup and leave"

  
"Can't you see he's a prisoner? He may be able to give us some insight on what the hell is going on here!" He seethed, Keith looked like he wanted to argue more, but the guy on the other side of the bars choose that moment to interrupt.

  
"I will answer your questions, if that's what you wish" The guy took a deep breath and steeled himself before opening his eyes and continuing. "My name is Prince Lotor, I am Zarkon's only son and sole heir to the Galra Empire."

  
Lance felt his jaw hit the floor, how the hell had someone like Zarkon even got to spawn someone like Lotor? He knew his train of thought was wrong and out of place, but he was way too shocked to really dwell on that. Keith didn't seem to have Lance's problem, he took hs bayard out and proceeded to try and skewer the prince with it trough the bars, forcing Lance to try and stop him.

  
"Keith, jesus, chill, the guy is clearly trapped, he can't get out! We still need to ask him questions about Shiro and this ship and stuff, and we can't do that if you turn him into a galra kebab" To that, Keith snarled and wanted to deny him, but the possibility of missing info on Shiro's whereabouts was enough leverage for him to stop, at least for now.

  
Lotor seemed amused, if not slightly worried at their interaction, but he relaxed, accepting the situation he was in, and proceeded to seat himself on a nearby chair

  
"Lotor - _Lance began, hesitating_ \- why are you trapped here?" He couldn't really understand, Zarkon's son, the heir to a ten thousand year old empire, the next in line, one of the most valuable people out there, and he was a prisoner of his own people, no, he didn't get it.

  
"I was tricked, that witch, Haggar, set a trap for me on this ship, and I fell for it like a fool." He looked down at that, furrowing his brows and clenching his fists.

  
"Why would she do that to one of their own? What could be so important that you'd come alone? What did she tell you to lure you here?" Keith's voice was cold as ice, and sounded like he didn't have time for any kind of roundabout answer, he wanted a clear understanding of the situation, right to the point, and Lotor, noticing this, gave him what he wanted.

  
"She told me we could end the war." Both Lance and Keith were stunned by that, end it? But that didn't make any sense, the way Lotor voiced it, it didn't sound like it meant destroying Voltron once and for all, or finally conquering the universe, no, Lotor's dejected tone gave the impression that he wanted to end the bloodshed, the pain, the war, just like Voltron was trying to, just like they wanted.

  
"You mean, defeating Zarkon? Putting an end to his empire?" Lance's voice carried as incredulous as he felt, and he saw Lotor look up at him with a mournful smile on his face.

  
"Indeed, young paladin, everything I ever wanted was to free my people, to end the war and restore the universe to how it should be, I've been working for this for ten thousand years, so, to be tricked and cheated by someone I thought I could trust, it left me feeling quite hollow, you see." Lance was shocked, if...if what he said was true, then, it meant they could seek his aid, they could have one of the most powerful allies yet, still, he needed more insight on the events that transpired to make a decision.

  
"Could you tell us what exactly happened? If what you said it's true, then maybe we could...cooperate" Keith looked ready to snap, to call him crazy and split Lotor in half with his bayard, but refrained from doing so, probably because their fight was still fresh on his mind.

  
Even if they left their differences back on the castle to work as a team while on a mission, it didn't mean that Lance forgave him or forgot what he said, not yet, not for a long time.

  
"It seems like the best course of action, yes. I was sickly as a child you see, being a half blood, since my mother was Altean, my body couldn't withstand really well the atmosphere of our planet, Daibazaal, and I spent my days cooped up at he castle. Still, my parents came to see me when they weren't busy with their research, they always made sure to have some time for me, they were loving and caring in their own way. Until one day, for some reason, mother came less and less, and eventually I didn't see her anymore, no matter how many times I asked my father for her, she wouldn't come."

  
"I was still young when my father descended into madness and destroyed Altea, I knew of the events that lead to his actions, why our home had to be destroyed, why King Alfor did what he did, but at the time I didn't understand any of it, why he did it, why it was gone, all the death...it made no sense to me." He looked down to trace the glowing design on the inner part of his wrist, a sad look on his eyes.

  
"When my father came back from the massacre, he didn't even look me in the eyes, it was like I didn't exist for him, his focus solely on the Empire. Assassination attempts on my life were made more and more frequently, people wanted revenge, and my father was absent all the time, I learnt to accept that he didn't love me anymore, probably not since my mother died, the same day our homeworld had to be destroyed." His eyes searched the paladins faces before taking a deep breath and continuing.

  
"My only company were the guards they sticked to me, and Haggar, someone that I had never seen before but that acted as a maid of sorts, she would tell me of the greatness my father was doing, of how he was going to unite the whole universe, delusions of grandeur that he somehow made come true. At first - _he took a deep breath here_ \- I believed her, I was young and foolish so i thought he was trying to bring stability and union to the universe, that the thing with Altea had been in a fit of rage for Daibazaal, I wanted to believe that my father was stil the same man that called me Lottie with affection. But then one day I simply understood, on one of our colonized planets, I saw the truth, families were crying, small Galra children were hugging their fathers and brothers, they were going to be shipped away to fight for Zarkon, for the empire...againts their wishes."

  
"Believe it or not, Galra only wanted peace, most of the soldiers you met have been forced to fight for him, when children reach their maturity, they are forced to leave their families and go to a war they didn't want to start in the first place, forced to fight for ideals they don't believe in, and be a part of the most atrocious crimes you can think of." His brows furrowed and his lips formed a thin line, he looked remorseful and enraged at the same time.

  
"This has been going on for ten thousand years, normally, I wouldn't had lived long enough to see his madness come this far, but Haggar kept me alive, in case someone had to take over my father."

  
Lance couldn't even begin to imagine how it must have felt, looking at your people suffering endlessly like that, never being allowed to rest, forced to fight to their death, families being torn apart, never to be reunited again.

  
"When I reached adulthood, I began forming a plan to overthrow my father and his empire, he had people loyal to him, people like Sendak that believed in his ideals, but most fo the active soldiers only want to go back home and stop this war. I began forming revel groups, taking with me small children before my father could snatch them away, and training them to be strong warriors, I always asked of them if they were willing, and most of the time they answered that they would rather die fighting for freedom, than for the empire." Lotor got up from his position and looked directly at both of them, gauging their reactions.

  
"I created suits made for stealth and protection and stole weapons from my father with the help of my generals and scientists, after a while I hid my identity and called myself Marmora after the reactions of people to my real identity were...less than favorable".

  
"That was _you_!?" Lance screeched " You created the Blade of Marmora?" Jesus, Lance couldn't process things so quickly.

  
"Yes, that was several hundred years ago, I trusted no one with that piece of information, not even Haggar, but at the time, I thought she was on my side, that she would aid me on my crusade for freedom." A deep sourness got over his features and morphed his expression into something that made Lance's heart clench painfully.

  
"I did all I could, rescued children, reunited families, trained soldiers, created weapons, I formed more and more revel groups, Marmora began working on it's own without my help, their mission never forgotten, and I kept doing everything in the shadows, waiting for the time something would change, for an opportunity to strike, and then...Voltron came." He smiled at this, happy for a second even in his predicament.

  
"I waited patiently, always keeping track of the rebels, of the Blade, and then my chance came, you attacked Zarkon with all you had, and rendered him unable to move. I had everything ready, I just had to contact the groups and begin a rebellion, but..." He swallowed and looked down at his feet, maybe trying to gather his thoughts.

  
"I needed more details on what was going on inside my father's ship, it was imperative knowing the best way to strike, we only had one chance and I wasn't going to risk it by being careless. So I asked Haggar for help, I never told her any of my plans because I didn't want to risk it, but I believed she was on my side, that she wanted to end Zarkon's madness too, the injustice brough to our people. I was wrong, she had been hiding from me all this time that she was his right hand, his advisor, together with him on his quest of madness."

  
"Why did you trust her then?" Keith asked suddenly " If you didn't trust her with your plans or illegal actions and undercover operations, why risk it in the end?" Lotor's face heated up, embarrassment taking over his features.

  
"It was a stupid mistake, I let my feelings take a hold of me, the child in me believed that she has just been faking being part of my father's plans, that she was acting as someone she was not to get close to him, and one day, finally put an end to this insanity. When I met her at first, I could barely see her face, she always hid below her cape, but one day I caught a glimpse of her features... they were the same as Honerva...my mother." Lance didn't really know what to say, Haggar was his mom? Both his parents were in on this? How could he answer to that? How deep did Lotor's pain go at knowing the people he loved the most had both betrayed him?

  
Lance couldn't breathe, this was too much, this guy, he just, he worked so hard for what he believed was right, for such a long time, sacrificing his own happiness and well being, only living to prepare for war, he doesn't think he'd been able to do it, not at all.

  
"She called me here, telling me she would share what she knew, but it was all lies, she cornered me, injured me, let me know that she knew of all my plans and foolish attempts to defeat my father, not even the name Honerva meant anything to her, it was as if that day so many years ago, my mother's mind had disappeared, and only the witch remained. She trapped me in this cell, it's made specially for galra, there is no way to escape, so I just waited, accepting my fate, that I had failed my people and the universe...and then you came".

  
Lance had been listening attently, gauging Keith's reactions while keeping track of everything important, but now he had to make a decision, let him out, or let him rot on that prison cell. He knew his instincts were good, no matter that they said that Red was the impulsive one, guided by her urges instead of rationality, his own instincts had never failed him, and after listening to Lotor, he knew, felt it in his gut that he was telling the truth, his sadness was genuine, his pain heartfelt and deep, no, he didn't think he was lying, his decision was made.

  
"Lance, c'mon let's go, we need to get back to the others." Keith was insistent, in a hurry to leave, but he didn't listen, he transformed his bayard, holding it tightly, and pointed at they key pad to the right of the door, before Keith could say anything or try to stop him, he shooted, and with a whirring sound, the door to the cell opened completely, leaving a wide-eyed Lotor to look at Lance, probably wondering if this was for real.

  
"He's coming with us." He told Keith sternly, no room for arguments, and the new Black paladin looked ready to murder him, or Lotor, or both.

  
"Are you crazy? He's Zarkon's son! Galra! Our enemy! Everything he told us right now is probably just a filthy lie!."

  
"Maybe that's what you think, but I feel he's telling the truth, so I'm going to go with what I feel is right, and if you have a problem with it, suck it up, we can deal with that later." Keith grumbled under his breath, glaring at Lotor, his eyes daring him to step out of his cell, but an encouraging smile from Lance had him walk out slowly, standing right next to him, waiting for their next move.

  
Without saying a word, they moved through the hallways, Keith on the rear, keeping an eye on the galran prince while he examined their surroundings, nothing seemed to move, and it was giving Lance anxiety, if he was honest.

  
"Why are there no drones or sentries here? This ship appeared to be important enough to have high security levels." He asked.

  
"This is Haggar's ship, there are sentries and drones, and even some guards but...not a lot are necessary on this level, every prisoner on the ship are already dead, this is where she experiments, working on new ways to harvest quintessence, creating robeasts or enhanced soldiers with new abilities. If I had known she was a druid, this kind of...monster, I would have killed her long ago, my real mother wouldn't have done something as atrocious as this." He didn't really like the sound of what Lotor was saying, it chilled him to the bone to know that every prisoner, every captive, had been killed in cold blood, and then used as lab rats to fulfill whatever sick desires that witch had.

  
Not feeling like talking anymore, they walked until a door opened before them, giving way to a strange room, it was full of tubes made of some sort of crystal, and filled with gold liquid, cables and wires of different colors littered the walls, and what looked like a pool, filled with the same golden liquid, was in the center of it all.

  
Carefully they made their way inside, and just before reaching the console, an alarm blared, all the doors besides one closed and galra soldiers as well as sentries began filling the room so quickly, Lance had barely time to react.

  
"Quiznack!" What the hell man!" Lance aimed his bayard at one of the soldiers and shooted, it was bullseye, but he couldn't celebrate, not with ten more soldiers in there, Lotor looked around before gathering his wits, he kicked a soldier square on the chest and stole his sword, then proceeded to plow through the enemies as quick as a hurricane, or earthquake, or...a natural disaster of any kind, really.

  
"Holy shit" He couldn't help but get distracted, Lotor was really, really graceful, he reminded him of Keith, in a way, both fought like it was their last fight, their last breath, fiercely, without respite.

  
On the other side of the room, Keith was doing the same, slashing at soldier after soldier, breathing heavily, but holding his own, he seemed to have everything under control, so Lance decided to focus on taking out the sentries, because he knew how annoying they could be.

  
Before he could even aim, though, something in the corner of his eye moved, and he barely put up his shield before a big, burly galra decided it was a good idea to body slam into him. He grunted with the effort of staying upright, but eventually managed to get his footing and throw the soldier a few feet backwards, quickly aiming his bayard he shoot to his knees and chest, hoping to incapacitate, rather than kill, which was clearly a mistake, because this galra was thougher than it looked, and in a movement too fast for the human eye to see, got a blaster out of nowhere - _seriously, where was that thing hidden_ \- and shot at Lance.

  
It grazed him on his side, spurting blood, and Lance had a split second to feel a bout of terror before he was being body slammed again, but this time his feet didn't have a surface to brace on, he lost his footing, and before he knew it he was falling backwards, Keith's and Lotor's shouts of his name the last thing he heard as he plunged into the depths.

  
\--

  
Not even a tick later, if his scrambled brain was right, he opened his eyes, he was surrounded by golden light and couldn't really move, no sound reached his ears, he couldn't hear the sloshing of the liquid as he fell into it's depths, not the muffled sounds of the battle going on above the surface, there was no sound at all, not even his lungs trying to gather air, everything was still, everything was silent, it creeped him out, terrified him, he still couldn't move.

  
An then, the whispers began.

' **You** , _you_ , ~~yes~~ , _him_ , here, **chosen** , you will, **you will NOT fail** , _for us_ , everyone of us, ~~the universe~~ , for us, _revenge_ , for us, **fight** , _victorious_ , for us, ~~bring closure~~ , **to end** , re-do, _re-do_ , **re-do**...as many times as needed.'

They were killing him, hundreds of voices speaking at the same time, a stream of emotions forcing his way into his head, louder and louder, he couldn't think, couldn't breathe, the golden substance was flowing into him, filling his lungs, choking him, it was too much, too much, unbearable pain filled his mind and body, his brain about to explode, descending into madness, the shrill screams piling onto each other in a crescendo, his nerves flaring, burning hot, all the way to his fingertips, killing him, killing him, and abruptly, it stopped, a single whisper filling the sudden stillness in his head.

  
_'Remember, you will **NOT** fail'_

  
And then with a sudden yank on both his arms he was being thrown out of the pool and onto the shiny surface of the ship floors, he gagged and coughed, vomiting on the floor, panting while trying to catch his breath, eyes wide, mouth hanging open, heart beating out of his ribcage. A gentle touch on both his shoulders had him turn around to stare at his companions, both Keith and Lotor looked extremely worried, or, out of their minds more likely.

  
"Lance! Lance! Can you hear me? Are you okay?" Keith held his head with both his hands, thumbs caressing his cheeks whilst he checked for injuries, but Lance was surprised to discover that the blast he received had disappeared completely.

  
"I...I'm fine, just...some weird stuff going on with the pool" Boy, that was the understatement of the year, he was still creeped out about that.

  
"I am sorry to interrupt, but, if the blue one is unharmed I suggest we get ready, it seems they won't let us catch a break." Lotor brough Lance back to reality, he was right, more soldiers, drones and sentries filled the room so after assuring Keith that he was fine, Lance proceeded to beat the shit out of them.

  
Keith and Lotor made a pretty good team, slashing at anything within a feet of them with the accuracy that only years of training brought, he couldn't help but be mesmerized, watching their deadly dance while he sniped from a distance, their enemies didn't stand a chance.  
After finishing the last of the drones, they settled down, trying to calm their breathing and stretch their muscles, the fight had been hard, too many enemies, not even a tick to regain their strength.

  
"Keith, you should look into the console and see if we can get any data using Pidge's weird alien block thing."

  
"It's called a decoder, Lance"

  
"I knew that, I was just testing you." Keith did just that, and moved to the main frame to begin the process while Lance busied himself with looking at Lotor, watching his reaction to the previous events, then decided talking to him for a while.

  
"So - _Lotor looked at him_ \- how do you think it'll go when you meet Allura?"

  
"She will probably kill me - _he sounded serious_ \- we knew each other when we were small, only trough messages, since I wasn't allowed out the castle yet, she was one of my best friends, and I was pretty excited to grow up and met her in person when my condition improved, but she probably thought I died back then, I didn't think I would ever get the opportunity to see her again, and I wouldn't have, if Haggar hadn't kept me alive." Probably repulsed by the thought of having anything to do with the witch, he made a face.

  
"I don't think she'll kill you, punch you? Probably, so I would be prepared if I was you." The prince let out a loud laugh, prompting Keith to look at them for a second before continuing with what he was doing.

  
"Yes, I suppose you are correct, and she has all the right to be furious with me-"

  
"But-" He tried to interrupt, but Lotor held up a hand to stop him.

  
"I know what my father did is not on me, his actions are not mine, not are his beliefs, I know I was far too young to take action back then, but as a Prince and future King, I have to take responsibility for the actions of those before me, I have to correct my father's mistakes. The princess lost everything that day, all that she loved, everything that mattered to her, and I bet she hasn't allowed herself to grieve so maybe, just maybe, a little wrath directed at me would do her some good, let out a little steam, as you would say, keeping everything bottled inside is not healthy."

  
"Boy do I know it." He smiled at Lotor, and the other smiled back, after a few minutes and with the adrenaline of the fight still cruising trough his veins, making him forget about his grudge momentarily, Lance decided he was gonna bother Keith for a while, when he mentioned that his white haired companion laughed some more, a mischievous expression on his face.

  
Offended for some reason, Lance turned away with a huff, giving his back to Lotor, and before he could even call out to Keith, a sharp pain on his stomach and a hand on his mouth kept him quiet.

  
"You should know better than to give your back to the enemy, blue paladin, your softness and naiveté will be your downfall, thanks to you, Voltron is no more." The voice that spoke was cold and hard, it was Lotor's voice but filled with something he couldn't place, he gathered enough courage and looked down to see a galran dagger sticking out of his chest, right were his heart was placed, the hand holding it twisted and he tried to scream, but his voice got muffled by the gloved hand of the prince.

  
Tears sprung to his eyes, it hurt, oh god it hurt, the blood was slowly but surely trickling down his chest, Lotor twisting and pushing the dagger until he felt ready to pass out.

  
"This is what happens when you oppose the Empire little paladin, Zarkon is the only emperor this wretched universe needs, you will NOT get in the way of his success."

  
Lance finally managed to collect enough energy to turn around, and what he saw made him stop dead in his tracks, Lotor's eyes, normally blue, were a deep red, like the blood draining from his body, like Keith's armor, he had markings on his face, ones he had seen before, and a sneer twisted his delicate features into something sinister.

  
It wasn't him this wasn't Lotor, the witch, she was controlling him, a last effort to force the prince who wanted to put an end to her ambitions, to crush his hope and take the last chance he had at doing everyone justice out of his reach, by his own hand, the red faded slowly from his eyes, but Haggar left him with some last words.

  
"Your red paladin will finish the job for me, you all played right into my hands and at last, this useless coward will have been useful for something."

  
As soon as the hand on his mouth was gone Lance called weakly for Keith, it was nothing more than a breathy whisper, but the red paladin caught it and turned around, his expression morphed into one of pure horror, with movements too fast for Lance to see, Keith planted his feet before him, holding his in his arms, and with a cry of unadulterated rage summoned his bayard.

  
"No, wait, don't." Lance tried to stop him, but his voice was nearly gone and without hesitation and all the force he could muster, Keith thrust his sword trough Lotor's chest, right trough his heart.

  
The prince looked down, and then his gaze fell on Lance, he smiled sadly, mouthing the words 'I'm sorry' before he fell to the ground, never to wake again. He'd failed, Lotor didn't deserve to die, he didn't want to hurt anyone, he'd only ever wanted peace, to be free, and that witch took that away from him, Keith did exactly what she wanted, killing the prince for her, doing the dirty work, he felt sick just thinking about it.

  
Or maybe it was the dagger sticking out of his chest.

  
Keith was screaming at him, to hold on, to keep his eyes open, but, stabbed in the heart, he didn't think anyone could survive that, still, for Keith, he tried his best. He was carefully being laid down, his head and chest cradled on Keith's arms, a callused hand running trough his hair, soothing him, making him warm and sleepy, calm and safe, cared for.

  
"Lance please, please hold on, they are coming." He sounded congested, and Lance wondered why, he moved his gaze to Keith's face, and instantly regretted it.

  
Keith was crying, not loudly, or full out sobbing, but tears were falling from his eyes and down his pale cheeks, he was trembling and his voice stuttered from time to time, his breath hitching.

  
"I knew I shouldn't have trusted him, I knew and still - _he hiccupped_ \- I should have stopped you, I failed as a leader, I failed you."

  
Lance wanted to scold him, tell him it wasn't true, but his voice was lost into the void of space, never to return, the pain seemed to have faded away now, leaving him numb and cold, and he knew it was probably bad, that he was possibly dying, but he didn't dare interrupt, didn't want to make Keith more miserable than he already was, wanted to keep hearing his voice.

  
"I still haven't said sorry for our fight, for being an ass to you and the things I said, I still... I still haven't said...there's so much I need to tell you, please don't leave, Lance please keep your eyes open, they are coming."

  
From far away he could hear Blue roaring, her voice filled with despair, soon the other four lions joined her, weeping for the blue paladin they knew they couldn't save, the ship shook with the force of their grief, and he felt sad that he couldn't see Blue one last time, and Hunk, Pidge, Allura, Coran....Shiro.

  
He would never get to see him again, never to know if he was alive and alright, his friend and leader they all missed so much, he still wanted...he wanted...he needed...his thoughts faded away slowly, like and ebb and flow, coming and going, Keith's voice and his touch getting farther and farther away from him, he could feel, for one fleeting moment, Keith's arms tightening around him, a kiss to his forehead, sweet words whispered in desperation, tears on his cheeks, and in a sweeping motion, everything faded to black.

  
_'You will **not** fail'_

  
\--

  
His eyes snapped open, a guttural scream tearing out of him, hands on his chest, clawing at his throat, he couldn't tell up from down, his breaths quick, he sputtered, wheezed, he couldn't breathe, his head hurt, he couldn't think, dagger on his chest, he clawed harder, bile raised on his throat and peering over the edge of the bed, he gagged and vomited all over the floor.

  
When he finished he tried to calm himself to no avail, _'what was that, what kinda, what, wha-'_ his thoughts were scattered, he couldn't piece together what had happened, his muscles were so tense he was laying straight as a board, could barely move, hands still clawing at his chest, he was hyperventilating, he knew, but he could not stop.

  
He looked at his space clock, the one Pidge made a few weeks back, it read 20:00 PM, Day 179 of Voltron, his eyes widened even more, his breath gone, throat wrecked and unable to let any kind of sound out, couldn't be, couldn't be.

  
The whispers echoed inside his head, loud, full of determination, aggravating his headache and making his heartbeat erratic, quick, about to leap out of his chest, he still couldn't breathe.

  
_'Re-do, as any times as needed.'_

  
He promptly passed out.


	2. Deja Vu

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lance wakes up feeling like a truck ran him over, brain turned to mush and body out of whack, and goes through the day with an itch under his skin and the feeling that he forgot something important, thinking that maybe he's just going insane.
> 
> It takes a whole lot of mind fuck, pain and a ten thousand year old mechanical lion helping him, to finally figure out the mess he's gotten himself into.
> 
> He would have chosen being insane over this any day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so surprise!! Happy early update! Working on this chapter was super difficult, there were some scenes that I wasn't happy with and I had to edit them until I felt satisfied, i'm still not 100% happy with it, but it's close, now a few things to talk about:
> 
> -This early update has been possible because my workplace decided to close a few days for repairs, so I had an improptu three day vacation, which means I had more time to write than usual, but my schedule will return to normal from tomorrow onwards. What does that mean? It means that updates will be monthly at best, or a month and a half/ Two months at worst like I said in chapter one, so, sorry, but don't get used to early updates, as mentioned before, my writing time is limited, but i'll do my best to try and update monthly.
> 
> -I know this chapter is slow, but bear with me, Lance couldn't just get up and be like "Hey, i realized what's going on", the events needed to run it's course, and from chapter three onwards the plot will be moving on, promise.
> 
> -As I always say, it's my first time writing a story, so advice, suggestions, or correcting grammar mistakes and the like is appreciated.
> 
> -Finally i want to thank everyone who commented, left kudos, bookmarked, suscribed or just took the time to read this fic, it makes me so happy to know people are enjoying it, and it motivates me to write more. See you next chapter!

* * *

 

When Lance woke up he felt like _shit_ , there was no sugar-coating it, no other words to describe te sorry state he found himself in, he felt like utter and total crap, everything hurt: his head was pounding, his body was sore and his muscles were tense and throbbing, his throat felt parched and when he tried to clear it, it felt like swallowing sandpaper, had he been singing Celine Dion in the showers again, trying to hit those high notes? He didn't think so, couldn't remember doing it, at least, he honestly couldn't remember much about yesterday, and when he tried, a flash of something sticking out of his chest , tears, screams and hands clawing at his throat left him confused and with a killer migraine.

Had he been the one screaming? If so, probably because a nightmare, nobody would have heard him, thank god for sound proof rooms, something about privacy, Allura said. While assessing his pains he also noticed he felt slightly dizzy and nauseous like he was going to puke at any given moment, and when a sour and acidic smell reached his nostrils, he peeked over the edge of the bed and noticed that, yep, he'd done just that.

The floor just below his bed was covered in vomit, it was dry and probably was gonna be hell to clean, and as much as Lance wanted to crawl into bed, curl into a little ball and go back to sleep, he'll be damned before he did so on a room smelling like shit, so he mustered all the energy he had and got up to open the little cabinet with the cleaning supplies, he took a bucket and a roll of paper towels and carefully began wiping the floor with them, tossing them in the bucket.

When he was finished he threw the paper towels on the trash chute, filled the bucket with water and soap, and wiped the floor three times until he felt satisfied, then stored everything in place and got to the bathroom to take a long warm shower to try and relax, he did his whole routine that took about an hour, put on his most comfy pajamas, and got under the covers with the intent to sleep at least a hundred years.

Of course the universe hated him, so only about three minutes later, the castle alarms blared loudly, disrupting his impromptu nap and leaving him nearly deaf, seriously, how loud could those alarms be? All of a sudden Allura's voice got trough the comms.

"Paladins, report to the control room immediately, we have an emergency in our hands, suit up and be ready to depart at any moment" Again? Lance had the impression that they already had a mission yesterday, but his brain was way too scrambled up for him to make sense of anything as of now.

Since he was already up and no trace of sleep was left in him, he didn't waste any time and put on his suit as quick as he could, taking his bayard and running to the control room, when he opened the door, he noticed he was the first there, besides Allura and Keith, who were probably going over the mission before sharing the plan with the rest. When they heard the whirring of the door, both of them turned to look at him, and their expressions morphed into ones of concern.

"Lance, I am glad to see you got here so quickly, but, are you feeling well?" Allura sounded worried, she was wringing her hands and biting her lip, probably thinking that no matter how bad he felt, she needed him on the mission, and felt guilty for not being able to let him rest.

"I'm fine, princess, there is no need to worry, just didn't sleep too good last night" He waved his hand, brushing off her concern, to her right, Keith was frowning like he wanted to argue, but eventually decided to close his mouth and say nothing, wise choice.

He decided to sit down into his designed seat until the others came, while he waited he was kind of, like, in the zone, not looking at anything, mind blank, gaze faraway, and he had flashes of images he couldn't understand, _a tall guy with white hair whose face he couldn't see, rows and rows of jail bars, a golden liquid that shone bright in the dim light of a_ -...of a what?

The moment his focus slipped, all the images banished like mist whilst he tried to retain even the slightest detail of what he had seen, but as he opened his eyes, everything was gone, not a single trace remained, but he had the distinct feeling that he was forgetting something really important, and that pissed him off.

Suddenly the door opened again, and Pidge, along with Hunk and Coran came striding in, their suits on and bayard in hand, looking ready for some action, when they looked around and saw him there, it seemed to surprise them, because he was usually late, Coran smiled and waved at him, Pidge said a simple _"Hey"_ to him and ran to her laptop, but Hunk didn't move, he was looking really intensely at Lance, a worried crease on his brows.

"Dude, are you alright? You look pale as a sheet, like a gust of wind could blow you over" His best friend really had a way with words, he basically said he looked like shit, and still managed to sound worried and make Lance feel loved, strange powers he has.

"I'm fine bro, no need to worry, I just didn't sleep well, nothing a nap here and there can't cure." Hunk didn't look convinced, and Lance knew he would probably call bullshit, because Hunk always saw trough his lies, so he continued, hoping to stall the inevitable. "But enough about my pretty self - _groans everywhere_ \- we have a mission right? To some place called Horaxia?" Allura whipped around so quickly that he thought she would get whiplash, her eyebrows were high on her forehead, eyes wide and mouth hanging open.

"How do you know that? I still haven't mentioned anything about this mission." Her surprise was genuine, and he was about to answer her when he stopped, how did he know about that? When did he ever heard the name of the planet? He...couldn't remember, it just came to him as they were talking, he pursed his lips and crossed his arms, thinking of something to say.

"I...you were talking about it with Keith, and I overheard? No need to make a big deal out of it." He was getting defensive, he knew, but his head was still messed up from this morning, and there seemed to be far away whispers always on the background that were creeping him out.

"I never told Keith the name of the planet - _her expression hardened, probably thinking he was lying to her, it was something she really hated, lies, it always made her lose her composure_ -, but I see you don't want to talk about it, so we'll leave this for later, right now, we need to concentrate on the mission, the planet in question, Horaxia, sent us a distress signal a few vargas ago asking for assistance." His brain tuned them out while they talked about the mission, he was suddenly dizzy and couldn't focus on anything, everyone's voices sounded far away, like he was underwater, and those damn whispers were always there, on the back of his mind, making him anxious.

He had vague feelings, words and images suddenly slam into him, a planet more grey than brown, pink dots here and there, a galra outpost, captives on a mountain, too many sentries, _'Our strategy is simple, we will split up in two groups','Lance, you are with me', 'We will go with Black and Red and be a distraction', 'We are Voltron', 'We will not fail'._

He couldn't understand any of what he was seeing, everything passing by his eyes too quick, making him nauseous, every word confusing him more and more, the whispers getting louder and louder while he tried to will them away. He suddenly came to when a hand touched his shoulder, he jumped, startled, and looked up to see Keith, who was gazing at him with a concerned expression etched on his face.

"Lance...are you okay? You just...zoned out for a minute there." He didn't remove his hand, and Lance was kind of glad, it grounded him, reminded him this was reality, because his brain was being tugged in too many different directions, and he couldn't tell reality from creepy visions that he didn't remember a minute later.

"Lance, man, you look even paler than before, you're shaking, and it looks like you're gonna puke at any moment, and no offense, but that spot is already taken" His best friend pointed at himself with a big smile, prompting Lance to giggle, wheezing a little, because what the hell was going on with him?

"No, no, I...I'm fine, just thinking about some stuff, really, don't mind me - _Allura frowned a little at him, probably mad for not listening to the briefing_ \- but hey, I was paying attention, this planet need help yea? But there's too many enemies so Pidgeon - _Fuck you Lance!_ \- and Hunk are gonna sneak in and rescue everyone, while Leader here and I act as a distraction, right?" He beamed at them, glad that they weren't gonna be mad at his lack of focus, (not that he was to blame, something was seriously wrong with him today), but Keith's expression morphed into one of concern and mild discomfort, Allura's mirroring him from the back.

"How...how did you know that? We have yet to explain our strategy to free the Horaxians, we were just... talking about how the environment used to be protected by law, until the galra invaded." Allura was freaking out a little, Lance was freaking out a lot, was he suddenly Houdini? Was there something wrong with his brain? Suddenly the dread he felt this morning only seemed to intensify and he felt himself grow faint, having to hold onto Keith's forearms for support.

"Lance? You okay?" Keith's worried voice sounded way too close, but he had other concerns at the moment, like the fact that he could foretell the future? Or read minds? Or something equally creepy, maybe some alien did something to him?

"That was the strategy Allura and I were discussing, but that was way before Lance came into the room, he couldn't have known, and he also knew the name of the planet that even Allura didn't tell me, what is happening?" Keith shifted his gaze to the altean princess for an explanation, but the answer he was waiting for came from another source.

"Jesus, guys, chill, he's just got a bad case of Deja vu" Pidge's voice held a playful tone, as if Lance wasn't about to die of anxiety in a moment, as if predicting the future wasn't creepy at all.

"Deja vu?" It seemed alteans didn't have that word, since Coran and Allura looked equally as confused, and immediately asked what it meant or if it was some kind of illness.

"Oh no, no." Hunk answered them while trying not to laugh, waving his hands around "Deja vu means, literally 'already seen', is the phenomenon of having the feeling that the situation currently being experienced has already been experienced in the past, is a feeling of familiarity or the feeling of having 'already lived through' something."

"Hunk, my dude, my man, you sound like an encyclopedia right now, no, scratch that, you sound like you are reading that off of a dictionary." Lance was trying hard not to break into hysterical laughter, because he'd been worrying all morning for this, and in the end it was just his brain playing tricks on him, _typical_.

"I'm not reading it off of anything" He quickly slipped something in the pocket of his vest, and Lance lost it, he began trembling and laughing so hard, he nearly fell on Keith, who looked disturbed at the display, but still wouldn't let go of Lance.

"So, what you're telling us is, that Lance's brain is telling him he'd already lived trough this before? I can understand getting the sensation or feeling of familiarity, but, exact words and events? I didn't know humans had that kind of capacity." Coran was ecstatic about the new piece of information about humans, and wanted to run tests immediately, sadly, Pidge had to burst his bubble.

"Nah, that's not normal, as you said, we get the 'feeling' that we lived trough an event, we think we heard those words, or watched those faces, or shopped at that store to buy that instant ramen, but - _she held up her index finger_ \- that only happens after said events are done, you say 'Hey, I think I already did this', but you never know any info beforehand, it's impossible." She paused to let it sink in before typing rapidly on her laptop, a few brain scans showing up on the holo deck.

"I have a theory that it could be because our bond to the lions, we still don't know the extent of the changes that this bond has caused to our brain, I'm investigating right now, but, what happened to Lance could be a side effect, some kind of heightened deja vu caused by your linked quintessence." Everyone was silent while processing that, they never thought about the ways that the connection to their lions could affect their physical bodies, the side effects could appear at any time, just like it happened to him, it gave them a lot to think about.

"I understand, it seems this is something to discuss and research in depth when we have time, as of now, though, the mission calls for our attention, Lance - _she looked at him, her gaze remorseful_ \- I am sorry to ask this of you, but we need you on the mission, go rest to your quarters for a few doboshes until you need to leave." Any other time he would probably have argued, say that he was fine and put on an act of bravado and manliness, right now, though, he felt worse than when he woke up, he had fifteen doboshes to rest, and he was going to make the most of it.

With difficulty he rose up from his seat, trembling a little, Keith's hands supporting him, he was irritated that he had to lean on him to get up, but he was so tired, sore, and creeped out, that he didn't care at the moment, as soon as he was upright, Keith let him go, going back to his place beside Allura.

"Well then, I'll be taking a little nap, don't miss me too much" He waved at them, and they waved back, a tense atmosphere settling in the room, they never thought something like their connection could be harmful to any of them, but if what happened to him could happen to the others, they needed to be careful and report anything strange happening, for the sake of their health, and the team.

With too many thoughts swirling around in his mind, Lance slowly made the trek to his room, as soon as he entered and closed the door, he fell face first onto the bed and tried to muffle a scream onto his pillow without success, he was wrung out, no energy left in him, his brain felt like mush, he couldn't focus on a single thought, and no matter what he did, he felt full of dread, fear, sadness, and the annoying feeling that he was forgetting something vital, but try as he might, he couldn't for the life of him remember what it was.

Giving up on trying to be an actually functioning human, he threw his shoes to the floor, crawled under the covers, set the alarm on his space clock to fifteen minutes later and tried to nap, the keyword here being 'tried'.

\--

After what felt like a minute to him, he opened his eyes to find himself surrounded by golden light, everywhere he could see was bathed on that shining color, but nothing moved, nothing breathed, no sound reached his ears, it was - _if he was being honest_ \- really unsettling, the damn whispers were at it again, sounding too far off to distinguish what was being said, and it felt like something was constricting his chest, making him unable to breathe (if you didn't count the fact that he was underwater, was it even water? He had no idea).

He tried to move, but found that he couldn't, only his eyes were able to move around, but there was nothing to see, so he was stuck, great, with nothing else to do, he tried to take a look at himself, and not a tick later wished that he hadn't.

He was wearing his paladin armor, it was cracked and dirty with soot and grime, but that wasn't what made him want to puke or faint, or both, his breastplate was cracked on the left, just right above his heart, a deep hole driven in it by what looked to be a galran dagger, it was stained with blood, just like his armor, it was the most intense crimson he had ever seen.

Suddenly scared, he wanted out, he didn't sign up for this, whatever 'this' was, and just as he was struggling, trying with all his might to move, the whispers came close, it was so gradual that if it weren't for the complete stillness of the place, he wouldn't have noticed, they kept coming closer and closer, making his heart pound on his ears, his chest heaving with rapid breaths, eyes wild and terrified.

"No, no, nononono, leave me alone! What do you want from me! I don't get it, I don't understand!" He sounded crazy, probably, but fear could do that to a person, no matter that he didn't know the reason (was there even a reason?) he felt so scared, the emotion was there, all encompassing and filling him to the brim with dread, he just knew that if those whispers came close, if they reached him, something bad would happen.

They kept getting louder and louder, so loud, in fact, the he could barely catch what they were saying.

_"....ber."_

_"....ail."_

_"....do."_

_"....as......mes.....eded."_

They were so close, he could feel the hairs on the back of his neck stand on end, his teeth clicking from clenching his jaw so hard, his hands trembling, wanting to reach for someone, anyone who could take him away, and just when he was sure he was done for, a hand shot out of the nothingness around him, touching his shoulder, he reached for it.

\--

And with a sudden scream he opened his eyes and found himself awake, laying on his bed, sweating trough his blue shirt, he felt cramped, for some reason, like he had been laying still as a board for too long. When he tried to move his arms to sit down, he noticed his right hand was gripping something, or rather, someone, with such force his nails were digging into the skin of whoever was holding his shoulder.

"...Lance?" Lance would know that voice anywhere, even when it sounded small and scared, nothing but a whisper of his name, when he looked up Keith was there, eyes wide and expression distraught, the hand on his shoulder never leaving him even if his grip was definitely hurting him.

Not wanting to appear vulnerable, he relaxed his hand , and with much effort got himself off the bed to stand right in front of Keith, the Red paladin was looking up at him, anxiousness and sadness etched on every crevice of his face, but worry seemed to be the dominant emotion at the time, and it made something weird flutter in Lance's stomach.

"What do you want, Keith?" He tried to sound mad, cold and uncaring, but his voice came out small and tired, exactly how he felt, Keith was looking up at him, the slight height difference making the Red paladin look smaller than he was, he was hunching his shoulders and biting his lip, seemingly nervous like he wanted to bolt instead of being there.

"I....I know I'm probably the last person you want to see after what happened yesterday, and I understand." Lance creased his eyebrows, a confused expression blooming on his face "But I am the leader now, and as such, it's my job to worry about your well being, if something is happening to you, please, don't keep silent, don't....don't get hurt just because of a rift between us." He took a deep breath before looking pleadingly at Lance.

" If something's wrong, tell me, not as a teammate or as a ...friend - _he looked broken as he muttered that word_ -, but, as your leader, the one responsible for your safety, please, let me know, I have a feeling that whatever is happening is nothing good, my instincts are never wrong, don't make me endanger you because I sent you on a mission not knowing you felt unwell."

He didn't know how to react, since Shiro's disappearance and Keith's appointment as the new Black paladin, he'd tried to take on the role of leader as best as he could, he was still rash, headstrong and sometimes careless, but when it came to the safety of the team, he didn't hesitate to put himself in harms way to protect them. Lance's grudge aside, the guy was trying his best while dealing with the loss of his brother, and even if he didn't know the Red paladin that much, even if he couldn't give him his friendship, he deserved respect, because deep down, he knew Keith didn't want to pilot Black, didn't want to lead anyone, but still, for the sake of the universe and everyone he cared for, he took on that burden.

"Okay, I get it, if this deja vu stuff gets worse, I promise to tell you, I'm sure it's nothing, though, so I wouldn't worry that little mullet of yours too much." He shifted his gaze from the floor to look at Keith, to make him see that he was not lying, he thought that looking the other in the eyes, or being in his presence after their fight would hurt more, but Keith's words back then didn't sting, he didn't feel furious, resentful or hateful towards him.

Instead, when he looked at Keith's face, relief sweeping over his features, a content expression on his face while he sighed, he only felt hollow, frustrated, and kinda sorrowful, and with no way to pinpoint where those emotions were coming from, he only got more confused, which made his head hurt, which made him pissy because today had not been a got day for him and he was tired as fuck but they had a planet to rescue and responsibilities to fulfill, he could deal with his problems later.

"Okay, I'll hold you to that, see you later Lance." And with a nod of his head Keith was out of his room and probably walking to Black's hangar, feeling drained and empty, he sat on the edge of his bed and rubbed his temples, today was getting to be the worst day he's had in his whole life, even worse than when he got lost on that forest near the river,he found himself all alone, hungry and cold, he was, like, eight years old and a really rambunctious kid, his mamá had to search for him for six hours straight, he'd nearly drowned because he panicked, thinking he was going to die right there, and he thought he could swim to the other side of the river, to where his mamá's voice was coming from _' I remember that she jumped into the river to save me, even though she was super bad at swimming, she yelled at me for hours when I was on the hospital with hypothermia... fun times'._

Compared to this, that was a walk on the park, at least back then he had the comfort of his family to soothe the fear he felt, but right now, on a strange castle thousand of light years away from earth, strange things happening to him that he couldn't explain, he felt completely alone. Willing his headache to go away, he got to his feet, took a deep breath and walked out of his room, bayard in hand, his destination being Red's hangar.

When he arrived there, a restless murmur made way into his mind, it was continuous and loud, not unlike the whispers that plagued his every being since he woke up, it made him wary, but nothing bad could happen to him while on Red or the castle, so he approached his lion and she opened quick, her maw touching the floor while the rumble in his ears became increasingly stronger, on his way up to the cockpit he felt himself tremble, anxiousness after a day of only bad luck would do that to you.

He discovered what the strange noises were as soon as he opened the door to where his chair was located, his mind was suddenly bombarded with purrs, rumbles and murmurs, loud and never ending, he could feel all five of the lions trying to send him thoughts and feelings and images, trying to talk above each other in a constant stream of information that had his head spinning, it was disorienting and disconcerting and for a moment he didn't know where he was or who he was and nothing made sense, his vision was doubling, his earlier headache coming back with a vengeance.

All of a sudden, as if someone had closed a lid, the noises stopped, a big Black presence making itself known, overwhelming the others and keeping them at bay, Lance could finally breathe, he slumped over the pilot seat, cradled his head in his hands, and tried to figure out what the lions were trying to do, because never had they been so...inconsiderate as to swamp any of the paladins with so many thoughts that they lost sight of themselves, it had scared Lance to hell, the knowledge being spilled into his head without respite not leaving room for anything else, no thoughts, no feelings, no breath, no self awareness, nothing but a big void being filled with the voice of the lions.

After a few minutes he had manged to settle down and his heartbeat slowed, everything was silent, Black's presence a steady calm that slowly coursed trough him, the only sound being that of the engines working on the background, their movement reverberating trough the cabin. Opening his eyes, he blinked trying to make the blurriness go away, his vision hazy, he steadied on the pilot chair and when he finally managed to find his voice, he asked the lions what was going on.

"Guys, what the hell? Were you trying to kill me?" His voice sounded hurt, tired and incredulous, because he knew that the lions would never hurt any of them, but his recent experience seemed to prove otherwise and he didn't know what to think. Without warning, the voices began anew, even if he called them voices, the lions couldn't really talk, they communicated trough images - _both from their own lifetime and the ones they copied from their paladins' minds_ \- and feelings, so a sudden onslaught of both was startling.

All of a sudden, every voice joined to form a single image that stood on the forefront of his mind, he couldn't really explain it, it was a clutter of different feelings all in one, coupled with a disturbing image that he really couldn't decipher, and followed by a big ass question mark.

Since Lance didn't know what they were trying to say, he sent back a thought, a question mark just as big, and the lions sent him the same mess of ideas again, but this time it was followed by a picture of him below Blue, he was looking up and smiling, waving at her, seemingly happy and without a care in the world, then it faded back to the gruesome image from before, and he put two and two together, contrary to popular belief, he wasn't an idiot, and given the right intel, he could figure out what it meant.

Though even if he knew what it meant, it didn't meant he understood.

"Wha...you thought I was dead? Uh? Guys no, wha- just, I was just sleeping!? How do you mistake me being asleep with being dead? Joder, you scared me half to death!" Blue purred in apology, trying to soothe him, the lions were still confused, but recognized that he was mad and wanted to make it better, Black, being the most sensible of the five conveyed to him their reasons, but it was jumbled and messy and he barely made out a vial of sorts that glowed yellow before he lost his focus, the picture becoming fuzzy for a second before vanishing.

"I just...barely managed to catch something about quintessence, I think? I don't get what happened guys, but, I'm okay, I'm definitely not dead, so you can calm down, alright?" The five seemed to accept this after a few ticks and then proceeded to curl all around him, figuratively of course, because they didn't have physical bodies, but Black's presence curled around him in a protective embrace, his aura giving off a vibe that said - _if he had to translate_ \- something akin to _'Don't talk to me or my son ever again'_ and _'If you hurt him I will find you and I will kill you'_ , it left him feeling warm and content if not a bit embarrassed.

He tried to feel the rest of them trough their bond, and found Red curled around his feet, her energy thrumming with a need to _protect_ while being surrounded by a feeling of worry, Blue was more or less the same, curled on his lap, she felt protective, too, but she was marginally different from Red, Red's aura was the kind that meant destruction to safeguard what she held dear while Blue's was of the idea that defending or taking him far away was the best route for safety.

The other two weren't too far off, his bond with them wasn't as strong, but he could tell both Yellow and Green were feeling a bit of concern that was shadowed by an overwhelming relief, they both floated close to him, not enough to touch, but plenty to feel them close. With their little episode forgotten for now, all the lions began to purr, a rumble thrumming trough the cockpit, a pleasurable sense of tranquility filling his being, and for a moment he could forget his discomfort, his aches and the sensation that his world was changing and he had no say on it.

"Oh my god, you're all just big fuzzy furballs aren't you? Look at you, all purring non-stop, I bet you'd love it if I petted you, you try to be all intimidating and stuff, but you can't fool me, you're just giant softies deep down." Feeling them like this made Lance miss his own cat, Disco, who loved to be pet on his belly and behind his ears, when he was doing the dishes he would come unannounced and rub his head on his feet, meowing continuously until he paid attention to him, if that didn't work, he would jump on Lance's shoulder, scaring him and nearly toppling him down with his weight, he still remembers, clear as day, his bright white fur, his shocking blue eyes, and the little circular patch of Black fur around his tail that made his namesake, it made him miss home more than usual.

"Okay - _he clapped his hands loudly_ \- enough of this, now that the problem is solved, you need to scatter, we have a planet to save and I can't do that from the hangar." The five presences agreed and brushed his consciousness softly as they left, only Red remaining, a smoldering fire igniting on her that left him flabbergasted, it seemed she planned on making good on her promise to keep him safe, which he greatly appreciated, no matter the circumstances.

The comms came to life a second later, Keith's voice reaching his ears, he sounded impatient but also kinda anxious, and Lance tried his best to not feel guilty, they were still fighting, even if he wasn't incredibly mad now, the words he said couldn't be forgotten so easily, though it was hard, trying to keep up the angry facade when the Red paladin looked absolutely dejected every time time Lance ignored him or looked away from him.

"Lance, where are you? Are you coming?" The _'Is there something wrong?'_ went unspoken, he promised, after all, to let him know if his deja vu thing got worse, he still had that massive headache, his body was still super sore and he was dead on his feet, but it wasn't anything he couldn't handle, he hardly thought that the lions getting mind-fucked was reason enough to bother their leader, and it had nothing to do with his bond problem, so he said nothing.

"Yeah, just a sec, was just adjusting some settings on Red, still getting used to her, you know?"

"Okay, we've just launched, we're waiting on the third quadrant to your left, come whenever you're ready." Lance nodded, even if the Red paladin couldn't see it, the visuals on the comms not yet online, he took a deep breath and let out a sigh, steeling himself, his own problems needed to go, right now his team needed the sharpshooter, he had to leave Lance on the ship and become a defender of the universe, he had a responsibility and he'll be damned if he was going to fail because of strange dreams and a tired body. Determination blooming on his chest he gripped Red's controls, and with a roar she launched into the vastness of space.

\--

After Allura's encouraging speech - _that gave him the chills because he could swear he's heard it all before?_ \- about the Horaxians being fair traders and nice people overall, they began the trek to Horaxia, all the way there, though, Lance was getting pretty frustrated, every little thing he saw from the cockpit gave him that fleeting sense of familiarity that he couldn't shake off, it was disturbing and he couldn't settle down.

That small meteorite hurling through space at high speeds? _familiar_ , the violet and yellow moon orbiting a big ass blue rock? _familiar_ , that constellation that he thought looked like a shoe? _familiar_ , it was growing to be a problem because he couldn't concentrate, the mission on the back of his mind while it should have been his priority.

"Lance, bud, are you okay? You've been pretty quiet for a while." Hunks voice came over the comms, Lance wanted to tell him te truth, that he was honestly wrecked, both physically and mentally, that he was scared because he didn't have the slightest idea what was happening to him, but this job was important, there were people in need of assistance, and it wasn't going to be Lance the one to throw a wrench into their plans to bring them to safety.

"I'm fine buddy, I'm just saving my energy for when we actually have to fight, everything's cool, don't sweat it." From the screen to his right, he saw Hunk raise an eyebrow, showing Lance that he didn't believe any word that slipped from his lips, still, his best friend said nothing, probably thinking that Lance would talk it things got too messy.

"That's fine and all, but dude, it's weird without you babbling about stuff on the way there, the silence is getting to be kind of unbearable." Pidge's input was a surprise, usually she would go over the plans while on her lion, reviewing them as many times as needed to spot any mistake and be sure their lives weren't going to be at risk more than necessary. Aside from being a paladin, Pidge was also in charge of making the maps and directing everyone when it was needed, her attention focused on keeping track of every paladin, lion and their locations, she was swamped with responsibilities, but you'll never hear her complaining.

"Awwww pidgeon, if I didn't know you, I would think you miss me." She blowed a raspberry at him trough their helmets, a pout making it's way onto her face, Hunk laughed a little, his eyes crinkling with mirth, while Keith tried to keep a smile off his face.

"Please - _her voice held a level 10 sarcasm_ \- it's just a routine, since I'm used to hear you ramble on all of our trips, one so still and silent creeps me out and doesn't let me concentrate, I like it better when you talk, but don't let it go to your head." Lance smiled inwardly, for all that she acted mature because of her astounding intellect, she was still a child at heart, couldn't give compliments without covering them up or being embarrassed, it reminded Lance of his sisters a lot so maybe that's why he felt kind of protective around Pidge, some kind of brother complex or something.

"Ohh? If you want me to talk, I'll talk, no worries, so did I ever tell you guys about that time Hunk and I tried to snuck out of the Garrison, and professor Henrick caught us? Or more like we caught _him_ , am I right buddy?" His troubles forgotten for now, he tried to remember that time so long ago when his only concerns were his grades, getting a girlfriend or boyfriend, making his parents proud or getting a job.

"Oh man, I couldn't look at professor Henrick in the face for weeks, Lance, I wanted to disappear after that, I still feel bad about it bro." Hunk's annoyed tone of voice made him crack up, he thought on that day fondly as the day his and Hunk's friendship became true and forever, it had been an hilarious night.

"Okay, now I really need to know what happened, was this before I joined you guys?" Since Pidge joined after the Kerberos mission, she knew nothing of the adventurous year Lance and Hunk had shared, so many tales to relate, so little time.

"Yeah man, it was on first year, I remember it was the weekend and I wanted to go snatch up some ladies, so I told Hunk we should snuck out and go clubbing." On the background Hunk hummed with silent laughter "So we did just that, we dressed in some nice clothes, got some money, and took a designed route by moi to get out, I had all the patrols and their schedules memorized, thanks to the help from one of the janitors - _"I miss mister Bob so much" Hunk added_ \- and within minutes we were out, ready to party." He was trying to keep his own bubbling laughter at bay, but as he recalled the events of that day, he could barely keep it down.

" So, we get to town and visit some pubs, dance for a while, drink some and have a good time in general, time flies by and about four hours in we are getting tired, but I still wanted to look up at least another club, all of a sudden we see this big, flashy neon sign that says 'Umbra', it looked cool and inviting, so we go in without hesitation." The other paladins were listening intently, Hunk already knowing the story, but seeming to be having fun nonetheless, and Pidge and Keith looked invested and eager to know what happened next.

"So we go in, and it's all just full of men, like, full of abs and strong arms and muscled backs, so we were both shocked, I told Hunk we got into a gay pub by mistake, not that it was a problem for me, but you know, we were surprised, and we turn around to order some drinks when I see someone that I think I recognize." Hunk was wheezing now, trying to keep his giggling to himself.

"Now, you have to understand that professor Henrick was a very old and very conservative man, you know, old school? So I move trough the mass of guys dancing to get to the other side of the room and _boom_ , there's professor Hendrick, sitting on a chair with a man on top of him, being given what looks to be the best lap dance he's ever had, his expression is that of a man that has seen the light, or god or something." His best friend was crying by now, wiping his tears with a tissue ( _when did he get that?_ ) while Lance tried to finish the story.

"Both were blushing really hard and sweating a bit, ( _it was hot in there_ ) and Hendrick looked to be in a state of pure bliss, the best part is that the professor was supposed to be grading some of our papers back at the Garrison, so that meant he snuck out too." He giggled softly, a few tears escaping his eyes.

" So all of a sudden he looks to the right and sees us there, and oh my god you could see the life draining from his eyes, he got super pale and looked me dead in the eye, we stared at each other for about a minute before I awkwardly nodded to him, he nodded back and we came to a silent agreement that it was some kind of _'I won't say anything if you don't'_ kind of deal. After that Hunk and I left just like that, but we couldn't forget what we saw, then, when monday came and we would cross each other on the hallways, he wouldn't look us in the eye, he gave us A's for the rest of the semester, but we could barely talk or look at his face, it was hilarious."

When he finished the story, Pidge was crackling, saying that it was a good way of getting good grades, while his best friend's face light up with a big smile, probably reminiscing their Garrison days, even Keith, stoic as he always was, sported a tiny smile. Looking around, he noticed that their surroundings had changed, a soft pink mist dusted the space around them, and like a sudden downpour reality came crashing down around him, bringing back their purpose to the forefront of his mind and making him realize they were within orbit of Horaxia, time seemed to have passed without them noticing .

"Okay team, this is it, we need to focus now, Pidge, Hunk, are you ready? You need to take the stablished route with the cloaking device, go around that mountain and rescue the captives, while Lance and I act as a distraction." Both their teammates answered positively, determination flaring up in their eyes, since both were going on Green, they were a lion down, two if you added Allura, so if the mission did go awry, their retreat would have to be swift and quick, for some reason, Lance didn't think it would come to that.

"We're ready to go, don't worry guys, this plan is foolproof, what could go wrong?" Hunk looked at the green paladin with an incredulous expression, his mouth gaping and eyes wide.

"Pidge!! You know you just jinxed us, right?" The yellow paladin seemed nervous, and Lance remembered that he was kind of superstitious about some things, not like he hardcore believed in them, but he liked to be on the safe side of things.

"Oh c'mon Hunk, I didn't, everything will be fine, we're ready to go so see you later losers." With a wave of her hand she began steering Green towards the planet, her cloaking device activated, making her invisible to any wandering eyes, Hunk's parting words something about not being reckless and keeping each other safe, it warmed his heart to see his friends worry so much about his well being, so even though his head still felt like it was going to burst, and his heartbeat was going faster by the minute, he said nothing, he was not going to let them down.

"Right, let's go then, Lance, prepare to breach trough the atmosphere, we could find anything in there, so be ready to engage in battle." Some of the earlier annoyance at Keith that he had seemingly forgotten came back when he began barking orders, but it was quickly wiped out when they fled across the clouds and lasers began firing at them without respite.

"Shit, how many lasers do they have? This is crazy!" He dodged to the right just as a shot whizzed by him, missing him by barely an inch, they shooted at the outpost and tried to take out as many cannons as they could, but they were getting overwhelmed, they needed to destroy the base, but couldn't do so until Pidge assured them that all the captives were safe.

"How are you holding up, paladins?" Allura's voice filled their headsets, she sounded worried at all the noise in the background, but still composed enough and ready to give a helping hand if the need arised.

"We're fine, they are as armed as we thought, nothing we can't handle, we just need to hold out until the others are ready." The Red paladin looked tired on the screen on Lance's dashboard, probably from dodging so much without being able to attack. Fifteen minutes later and he was reaching his limit, he had nearly been hit about eight times now, they needed to end this soon or someone was going to get hurt.

"Keith, anything from Pidge? I don't know how much more of this Red can take, she's getting kind of pissed!" And it wasn't a lie, Red was growling in his head, sending him images of her ripping the base to shreds with a fire blast and emerging victorious, but they couldn't do that, so she was getting irritated and a second away from blowing everything to smithereens.

"Keith, we got them, the captives are all safe, you can go wild now!" Pidge's voice came over the comms, it sounded like salvation to Lance who was finally able to let Red loose, without hesitation she charged her cannon and fired a powerful shock wave that had the base exploding into tiny little pieces, no more lasers fired at them, no drones or sentries on sight, everyone let out a sigh of relief, but for Lance, it didn't feel like the end, his heartbeat was picking up, sweat was falling down his temples, it felt like every bone in his body was thrumming with anticipation and apprehension, and before he could think about what he was doing, his body moved on his own.

Looking to his right there seemed to be nothing, but he couldn't tear his eyes away, he tensed, his breaths coming in short bursts, his eyes fixated into that one spot as if his life depended on it, and before he could even think of turning away, a wormhole appeared and the biggest battleship he had ever seen came flying out.

It was enormous, tastefully decorated in gold and silver accents, it looked big enough to fit a whole city on it, and Lance had the fleeting thought that it looked regal, fit for a prince, why not a king, though? He tried to focus on that idea, of why _'for a prince'_ sounded right, like a puzzle piece finally sliding into place, but before he could grasp it's meaning, the concept flew away, sliding trough his fingertips, and he was left to wonder just what he had been thiking about, feeling lost for a tick before Keith's voice brought him back to the present.

"Team, we need to regroup! Hide behind that mountain on the left, we will observe what that ship is aiming for before deciding to attack or retreat, be quick!" With rapid movements all three lions fled trough the sky and settled behin the trees, they waited in silence for the ship to move, to do something, to have an inkling into what their objective was, but Lance had a feeling it wouldn't move, an unsettling sense of foreboding filling him from head to toe, making him want to flee.

About ten minutes in, he couldn't take it anymore, he was bouncing his knee up and down rapidly and wriggling his fingers on the cloth of his undersuit, anxiety getting the best of him, he felt like he wasn't getting enough air and wanted to chuck away his helmet, a feeling oppressing his chest to the point that he wanted to claw at it, thankfully, he was saved when Keith decided that enough was enough, and they needed to move.

"Okay guys, this battleship looks valuable, it could be housing an important member of the galra empire, maybe someone of a noble family or royalty, we could find some useful information in there, about their strategies, their plans...or even Shiro." Once again, Lance felt like alarms were going off in his head, the sound of 'you've heard this before' on repeat, like a broken record that couldn't move on.

"We should go inside, sneak in unnoticed, and try and scavenge for any data we can, there may be some prisoners on that ship too, so we need to rescue them, from the looks of it they could also know something that may help us." He was going mad, this day needed to end, or Pidge needed to figure out this deja vu thing, because he didn't know how much more of this he could take before going insane, he's heard Keith's words before, he knows this as well as he knows it's impossible, but his mind is wasn't working right and no matter how much he tried to will those feelings away, they stayed.

As quick as they could, they maneuvered their lions close to the battleship just by it's blind spot, then got out of them to glide with their jet packs, sneaking in trough one of the vents on the side, no alarms blared at their break in, which was strange on itself, but Lance wasn't about to look a gift horse in the mouth. As soon as they were inside, he was assaulted by a wave of diziness that threatened to knock him out, it was sudden and unexpected, flashes of gold, white and blue crossing his vision for a second before fading away, he had to lean on a nearby table to avoid crashing to the floor.

"Woah, Lance, what's wrong?" The yellow paladin held his elbow gently, looking at him with an anxious expression, someone out there must really hate Lance, because every time he thought his discomfort had passed, it came back full force when he least expected it, making him woozy and unaware of his surroundings.

"S'okay, I was just dizzy for a second there" He lied trough his teeth, hoping he didn't look as bad as he felt "By the way, is it only me, or does this ship look royal? I mean, look at all this furniture, it looks super expensive, not that I know what galra furniture looks like, but." He shrugged, his gaze shifting to land on their temporary leader, Keith wasn't convinced by his act in the slightest and looked ready to send him back to the castle any second now.

"Lance, if you feel bad, you need to tell us, as Pidge explained back in the castle, we don't know the side effects the bond may cause, and until we get back to investigate, I need to know you're in top shape, I'm not going to risk your life more than necessary." He chewed on his lower lip, he appreciated their concern, really, but he felt smothered, they were constantly asking him if he was alright, if he felt bad, if the deja vu was getting worse, but how the hell was he supposed to answer them when he didn't even know himself? He just wanted it to be gone, wanted things back to normal when he didn't have an itch under his skin, goosebumps and chills every time he felt like he relieved something for the second time.

"Jeez, stop it!" He didn't mean to shout, he didn't, but his worn-out brain couldn't process things like usual, so he choose to be defensive instead."I'm fine, no I'm not going to suddenly keel over, no, I don't know if it's getting worse, yes I can still fight, can we get a move on now?" His voice wavered a little, he wasn't used to showing his emotions, or at least, not his anger, he felt useless, more than usual, and just wanted to sleep the rest of the day off and wake up to a new day that didn't suck.

Keith looked uncomfortable, probably remembering the way Lance had shouted at him back at the training room, had it only been yesterday? It felt longer than a day for him, his perception of time was seriously messed up, his body completely out of whack. With a slow nod of his head, the Red paladin instructed Hunk and Pidge to sneak in the ships systems and look for useful data about Shiro, matt, or anything that would be helpful to Voltron.

Meanwhile, the both of them trekked trough the ship looking for captives, the only sound around them being the pitter patter of their footsteps and the heaving of their breaths, there weren't any sentries or drones, which was making them anxious, the hallways completely still and empty, the dim purple lights giving them an eerie atmosphere that put Lance on edge.

After what felt like hours, they reached what seemed to be the prison zone, without warning Lance felt his muscles tense, his arms seize up, and his legs began moving on their own, before knowing what was happening his body was moving trough the corridors, walking at first, then jogging, then right up sprinting, Keith's shout of his name fading away as he left him behind, he couldn't control his movements, it was like he was being controlled, a puppet being directed by it's master. On the back of his mind, Red growled a warning, giving the impression that if someone as much as touched Lance, she would go ballistic and destroy the ship and everything inside, Blue silently agreed with her, a snarl filling his ears.

He came to a sudden stop in front of a prison cell, he was wheezing, a hand clenching his chest, he was scared now, he wasn't in control of his movements, ' _Was he being mind controlled by a druid? Was he gonna hurt his friends? Oh nonono, anything but that'_ , his panicked mind couldn't make out anything around him, not Keith's hands on his shoulders, his frenzied words trying to calm him down, or the sweet reassurance that he was alright and everything was going to be fine, what finally caught his attention, though, was the shock of white hair in front of him, and when he looked closely at the galran man, an onslaugh of visions filled him again, leaving him spent and close to fainting.

_'I am prince Lotor, sole heir to the galra empire' 'I named myself Marmora and watched over the rebel groups' 'I failed' 'But then, voltron appeared' 'I was still young when my father descended into madness and destroyed Altea' 'She had the same features as Honerva, my mother' 'If I had known she was this kind of monster, I would have killed her long ago' 'You defeated Zarkon, and left him unable to move' ' She tricked me' ' I had failed my people and the universe...and then you came'._

When he opened his eyes, the first thing he noticed was that arms were around him and he was sitting on the floor, looking up he saw that Keith was gazing at him, a startled look in his eyes that spoke volumes of how worried he really was, no matter how bad their relationship could get, the Red paladin always looked out for him, no matter how much they hated each other, Keith still would have his back, since he considered everyone at the castle his family it shouldn't surprise Lance so much that he cared, or was capable of feeling in general, but he didn't understand Keith, didn't know him at all, and with the way things were going, he didn't think he ever would.

With help from his teammate he sat up, holding his head in his hand, and looked back at the galran stranger, said stranger was looking at him with a mix of confusion and concern, a frown over his delicate, yet hardened features, he had the gait of a soldier, his stance unmistakable, and he held his chin hight and back straight, Lance recalled his earlier episode, the whispers that accompanied him trough the day fading away slightly as he muttered some words that escaped his lips before he could think twice about it.

"Lotor....?" His voice was nothing but a whisper, but the galran caught it nonetheless, his face lighting up in surprise before a suspicious look fell over his features.

"How do you know my name? I've been keeping my appearance and personal information a secret, no one but galra should know about me." His voice hardened and his stance changed to a defensive one, his eyes wary and distrustful, Keith's grip on his shoulders got tighter and he could feel him trembling slightly behind him, but right now his attention was on Lotor, just looking at him gave him a sense of dread coupled with admiration and a wave on gentleness.

"I...-he stopped, not really knowing how to answer- I'm not sure, but, you're Prince Lotor right? We are paladins of Voltron, we're here to...to save you?" It was more of a question than anything, and the prince still looked wary, but the mention of voltron and it's paladins, seemed to have the desired effect, and he let his guard down a bit.

"I see, you must be the Red and Blue paladins then, it seems you already know of me, but I am Prince Lotor, Zarkon's only son and sole heir to the galra empire" With the confirmation that he was indeed related to Zarkon, Keith didn't waste a second in taking out his bayard and trying to run Lotor trough with it, Lance barely managed to hold his wrist before he lunged at the prince trough the prison bars.

"Keith, what are you doing? Are you mad?" He couldn't shake the feeling that hurting Lotor was wrong, unnecessary and a bad choice, he felt slightly protective of him, which made no sense because they just met, but Lance trusted his instincts and with his brain out of commission, he had to rely on them.

"NO, are _you_ mad? He did something to you didn't he? You just, seized up and began running, no matter how much I called for you you wouldn't stop! Your looked terrified but still kept running, and then I finally catch up to you and you pass out! What was I supposed to think?" Keith's voice was mildly hysterical and a bit higher than normal, after Shiro disappeared, he took it upon himself to check that everyone was okay after missions, and even if someone had just gotten a small cut, he would fuss over them and nag them until they were properly treated, also, when they were on missions, they had to report to the new Black paladin every ten minutes, if there had been radio silence for that period of time, he was constantly checking up on them, asking for their status and possible damage.

Lance had discovered, with time and his observational skills, that Keith, still getting used to his role as leader, seemed to have developed a fear of one of them suddenly vanishing like Shiro did, which was highly unlikely, but fears were not something you could control, he knew that better than anyone. So he understood why his teammate was frantic and panicked, if Pidge or Hunk had acted the way he did, he was pretty sure he would have flipped too.

"No, no, it's okay, it wasn't him." Should he tell Keith? He had promised but..."It was...it was the bond thing okay? You told me to share if it was somehow changing and back then it just, I dunno, did something to me and I lost it for a sec, but I'm fine now." Keith's eyes got wider at his confession, maybe he had thought that Lance wouldn't want to share anything with him, still mad and hurt about the way he'd treated him the day before, but that was honestly the least of Lance's problems, he couldn't care less about their quarrel right now.

"I see...has it gotten that bad? Maybe we should retreat, it's not safe, you should have told me if you felt worse."

"Fun fact, _I didn't_ , it was just out of the blue, as soon as we got here I was restless, but I thought it was just nerves, besides we still need the data from Pidge, if there's even a small chance that they have info on Shiro's whereabouts, we're gonna get it." He put all the determination he could muster into his voice, and was rewarded with a roll of the eyes and a muttered 'self sacrificing idiot' from Keith.

"Okay, _fine_ -he punctuated the word, to make it known that he did not agree with that statement- until the other contact us, we will search for captives and if we can, gather more data from this side of the ship." Lance nodded and tried to stand up, his legs felt like jelly, and the Red paladin tried to help him steady himself, but he held his hand to stop him and with a bit of effort stood straight.

"I think he should come with us." He pointed at Lotor with his thumb."He's galra, so he probably knows the placement of patrols and security cameras and stuff, he should also be more familiar with the structure of the ship." His companion pursued his lips, a frown on his face, his eyes still held rage and mistrust when he looked at the Prince, he seemed to consider Lance's input before letting out a long sight, gaze shifting to look at Lotor.

" If you try anything weird, I'm running you trough with my bayard, are we clear?" His voice was hostile, but Lance caught the worry behind it, as a leader, trusting the wrong person could mean not only your own death, but the death of your team and the people you wanted to protect, the burden he carried seemed to seat heavy on his shoulders.

"I won't, I swear on the name of my mother that I will not betray you, I've been waiting for a chance to end this war, and I think an alliance between us would be beneficial to both parties. I will help you steal the data on the ship as long as you help me escape - a small smile formed on his lips- I bet my generals are fretting over my disappearance." His generals? He grew excited just thinking about what kind of people Lotor would have as generals, Lance really liked meeting new people and making friends, the prospect of getting to know someone from a totally different culture cheering him up somehow. But as he wondered what kind of people the prince would entrust his life to, his curiosity over what sort of person he was increased too, and as they moved trough the steel passageways of the ship, he asked Lotor to share something about himself, if he felt comfortable enough to do so.

Lotor hesitated at first, but the more he talked the more he relaxed and opened up, the blue paladin noted with sadness that the prince probably didn't have a lot of people to share his doubts and troubles with, he listened intently to him as he began narrating his life and the events that shaped him into the person he was today. It was the worst course of action Lance could have taken, the more the prince explained about the rebel groups, the blade of marmora, his letters to Allura, his sickness, the destruction of Daibazaal, Honerva, Haggar and her betrayal, the more he felt the whispers in the back of his mind increase their volume again, making him feel queasy and weak, and the feeling that something bad was going to happen only increased.

A second later, Lotor pointed to a closed door, and informed them that it was where the main frame for this side of the ship was located, so without stalling they barged right in, bayard in hand, ready for any kind of trouble, looking suspiciously at any nook and cranny on the room.

"All the intel you may need should be on this computer, but you will need to hack into the system and wait for the firewalls to break, then for the data to copy." He gave both paladins a once over, assessing something."Are any of you familiar with galra tech?" He seemed sceptical, but it was to be expected, they were a completely different race, and the operating system looked way too complicated for them, if you didn't count the fact of the language barrier.

"No, but we have the best technician and engineer on our team, if we plug in this decoder she gave us, we'll have the data in no time." Keith actually looked proud, like he couldn't believe they had someone as smart as Pidge and Hunk on their team, and that they were his friends, sometimes Lance felt the same.

He ran to the control panel and plugged Pidge's decoder in, a countdown beginning to tick, he thought they would just have to wait it out, but he should have known better, as soon as the idea crossed his mind, a shrill beeping sound filled the room, the doors around them closing besides one, and from that door came barging drones, sentries and galran soldiers alike.

"Quiznack! I'm sure this is because Pidge jinxed us! I'm telling Hunk!" He shouted as he gripped his bayard tightly, shooting down the drones closer to them.

"Not the time, Lance!" Keith began hacking away at the sentries in a flurry of movement that left him dizzy, the Red paladin was as fast as his lion - _Red purred a little at the thought_ \- quick on his feet, swirling around to slash at the enemies on his back, jumping and doing backflips when the situation called for it, it was like a deadly dance that he couldn't help but watch.

On his right, Lotor was punching his way trough the galran soldiers, he didn't seem to be having a problem, probably because every trooper was trained with the same program, so their movements were predictable. He kicked a tall one on the chest before dealing a right hook to his jaw, the poor dude falling to the floor completely knocked out, the prince peeked around and his eyes light up when he caught sight of a discarded sword, he jumped over one of the soldiers - _Lance gaped because what the hell man_ \- and reclaimed the sword.

As soon as it was on his grasp, a smirk spread across his face, his eyes crinkling in a playful way, he looked right at home with the weapon in his hands and began demonstrating just how good he was with it, he slashed, hacked, defended and moved with a fluidity that made him look like a white blur, plunging trough the fighters like they were made of paper.

Lance was so distracted that he was too late to catch movement out of the corner of his eye, something was coming at him full speed and he knew his reaction time wasn't fast enough to dodge, to his surprise, though, his body moved on it's own and dodged to the right, doing a barell roll before shooting at a big and burly galra that snarled at him. He got up from his crouch and shooted again, this time right on his face, but the dude was strong and though, coming right back in his direction to try and body slam him, with a golden pool on his back that gave him shivers and a pulsing sensation behind his eyes, he held his stance, gripped his bayard like his life depended on it, and quickly fired aiming for his heart, it was bullseye.

The soldier fell to the ground, lifeless, and Lance had a second to feel guilty, before the ghost of a burn on his side and drowning in water made him bury those feelings in favor of shooting at the sentries who were trying to overwhelm Keith, with the three of them working together, their enemies never stood a chance, and ten minutes later, the room was silent again, only their ragged breathing and the tick of the countdown on the computer filling the quietness around them, while Lance tried to regain his bearings, Keith's voice suddenly cut trough the silence.

"Everyone okay?" Lance nodded and saw Lotor do the same, the Red paladin sheathed his bayard and sagged on a nearby metal table, his shoulders drooping in clear exhaustion.

"Maybe you should go see if Pidge is finished with their hacking, that way she could help us speed up this process, I think we need to leave as soon as possible." Keith considered his suggestion, and with a whispered 'sure' moved away to stand at the console while trying to reach their friends trough the comms.

Feeling like he could finally relax, Lance swayed on his feet and crashed onto a nearby chair, he had been telling the others that he was fine, that he could deal with it, that the bond thing going awry wasn't that bad, that he was just tired, but right now the pains and aches he'd been keeping at bay all day long by sheer force of will alone came crashing down on him, like a dam had been broken he could sense every little thing that felt wrong with him.

He had a terrible headache, the pain pulsating behind his eyes and on his temples, making the light hurt, his throat felt dry and parched like he hadn't drank in weeks and his stomach churned like he was going to throw up, every joint in his body was screaming for relief, and his muscles were tense and ready to snap. He felt too hot and cold at the same time, and a shiver coursed trough his body, his eyes drooping a little, the voices that he'd managed to keep away since his small nap screaming bloody murder on his ears, he felt like they would never go away no matter what he did, he was so, so tired.

A hand on his shoulder rose him up and he let out a small gasp of surprise, he looked up to watch Lotor retract his hand, a concerned expression on his face, it seemed he had zoned out, but with how bad he felt, who could blame him? Still, he gathered whatever energy remained inside his body and got up, grinning at lotor as he did so.

"What is it?" He didn't feel like having a conversation right now, and the prince, always observant and aware of his surroundings, seemed to catch his mood.

"It is nothing, I was merely concerned for your well being, but I see it was for naught, you're truly resilient, paladin" he said so with a smile forming on his lips, and Lance couldn't help but smile back, Lotor's presence was soothing for some reason, he was calm and collected all the time, mature, it gave him a sense of stability, something their team didn't have, they were all teenagers, after all, and without Shiro to guide them and keep them in place, they felt lost.

"I'm going to talk to Keith, see if he's gotten anything out of our friends, yeah?" The prince nodded, and Lance was going to turn away and call for Keith, but a sudden gruesome image of him being stabbed by a Galran dagger held him back, Red lights were going off in his head, calling a _warning, danger, don't, don't give your back to him, don't, run, run._

He felt paralyzed, couldn't move a finger, his mind replaying the picture of blood and pain ad his screams on repeat, driving him insane, the sense of danger and death rooting him to the ground, and then, on a split second decision he trusted his impulses and dodged to the right, doing a barrell roll and gazing up at Lotor. In his right hand was a dagger, a dagger that had been a tick away from being plunged into his heart, he felt like screaming, and realized he was already doing so, drawing the attention of Keith, who turned around so fast he was worried he was going to get whiplash.

The Red paladin rushed to his side, positioning himself in between Lotor and him, the Prince had a wicked look on his face, his eyes Red and some markings, altean markings, ran down his face, he swirled the dagger around playfully, like he hadn't been about to murder Lance.

"My, my, how lucky you are, blue paladin, how did you manage to know of my intentions? What gave me away?" The voice that escaped Lotor's lips was not his own, it was filled with malice, dripping with venom and darkness, he knew that voice, had heard it before, it was of no importance where, or when, he knew her and he was going to stop her.

"Haggar." He spat her name like the vile thing it was, getting to his feet and transforming his bayard, his grip tight enough to turn his knuckles white.

"You know of me -she narrowed her eyes in wonder- but it is of little consequence, tell me, paladin, have you found your leader yet?" Her mouth stretched into a perverse smile, and he saw Keith tense up before him, his bayard trembling in congruence with his hands, trying in vain to remain composed in the face of his brother's well being put in jeopardy.

"What have you done to him? Where is he?" Lance had never heard the Red paladin sound so irate, his wrath shrouded him, making the air around them tense and hard to breathe.

"Wouldn't you like to know, but what I have in store for him is not something I'm willing to share, for now, at least" Her smile widened, Lotor's fangs showing and giving him an animatistic appearance, the crazed look on his eyes getting wilder by the second.

" _You_..." Common sense left Keith in that moment, he was a beast, driven by instinct instead of reason, even if Lance had wanted to stop him, he didn't think he had been able to, he slashed at the witch with his bayard, but she was good, just as good as Lotor, using his body to fulfil her devious desires, he felt sick thinking about it, was Lotor aware of what was happening? Aware that the witch that betrayed him, took away everything he worked so hard for, was using him as a pawn and was delighted to do so?

He didn't deserve it, he had strived to be a good prince to his people, spent ten thousand years planing and fighting, dealing with loss and not having a chance to rest, pushing and pushing himself to his limits, for a chance to bring peace back to the universe. And this, this... _monster_ thought she could rip everything apart, break his will and determination and leave him to rot, then use his body to kill the only people that could help him fulfill his dream?

Yeah, no, Lance was done with her shit, she was going down, he was going to save Lotor, they were going to make an alliance and defeat Zarkon together and no evil hag was going to get in his way.

"Keith, don't hurt Lotor, he's being mind controlled!" Keith growled back at him.

"And what do you expect me to do? If you have a plan, now would be a good time to share it!" And as a matter of the fact, Lance did have a plan, it was risky, and stupid, and would probably get him killed, the chances were 50/50, but it would be worth it.

"Incapacitate Keith, incapacitate!! Knock him out or something!" The Red paladin heard him, but seemed to have his hands full, Lotor was a terrible person to have as an enemy, he was powerful, with a sharp mind and astounding skills, no movement was done in vain, everything had it's purpose.

"Try to stall him Keith! I'll do something" A grunt was his only response, Lance set his bayard to 'stun' and tried to get close to the fight.

"Lotor, listen to me please! Do not give in, don't let her control you!" There was no change, his eyes were still glassy and unfocused, the smirk ever present on his face.

"Remember everything you fought for! All the children, all the families reunited! All your efforts for a better future!" Lotor kicked Keith on the chest and sent him tumbling and crashing onto a glass panel that broke on impact, his leader falling to the floor, unmoving, before he could rush to aid him, though, the prince was in front of him, a hand shot to Lance's neck, the grip so strong it knocked the breath away from him.

"How foolish, did you really think that would work? My magic is rivaled by none, it cannot be broken by will alone, you lost." She sounded pleased, like she had won already, but Lance was nothing if not stubborn and he refused to admit defeat, so with the last of his strength he tried for the last time.

"Re...remem..ber...for your mo..ther...for...ho...-he choked- ho...Honerva." He saw his chance, it hadn't come from Lotor, though, but from the witch herself, her eyes widened in disbelief, like the name meant something to her, but he couldn't ponder on that now, he aimed his rifle at Lotor's chest and pressed the trigger with all his might.

The shot echoed trough the chamber, loud and booming, with a shout and a strangled scream from the witch, Lotor's body fell to the ground, Lance was coughing and gasping, trying to get oxygen flowing trough his airways, he looked back at the body on the ground and relaxed when he saw the rise and fall of his chest, he was okay, he hadn't killed him.

The wave of relief he felt was quickly washed away by worry as he noticed that Keith hadn't joined him, he scrambled to his feet swaying a bit, and looked back at the Red paladin, who was trying to get up without getting cut by the glass surrounding him.

"Keith!! Are you okay, man?" He walked slowly, the adrenaline fading away and leaving him drained and weary, his teammate just gave him a thumbs up when he could finally stand , he had a few cuts from the glass panel that were bleeding a little, but nothing too bad.

"We did it Keith! I told you I had a plan, didn't I?" He smiled, Lotor was alive, the witch probably hurt enough that she wouldn't bother them for a while, Keith looked up at him from where he was brushing shards of glass off, mouth opening as if to say something before he closed it, his eyes widened and a horrified expression got hold of his face, he extended his hand Lance's way, as if he wanted to reach him, his whole body moving onwards.

A loud booming noise, like thunder during a storm resounded trough the room, he was only aware for a second before a burning pain on his back made him kneel on the ground, his surroundings forgotten, he barely managed to turn around, and caught sight of Lotor's body - _a galra gun in hand_ \- falling to the ground again, words tinted with glee echoing in the room before vanishing.

 _"I win, paladin."_ The witch's voice disappeared, but he was too far gone to notice, his back was on fire, it was burning, it hurt so much, so much, he couldn't breathe, he was gasping for air laying face down on the floor, he couldn't think, couldn't focus on anything but the searing inferno that was driving him mad. He was crying, but couldn't care less, he just wanted the pain to be gone, his headache was drilling it's way into his temples, making him dizzy and he thought he tried to vomit , but couldn't really remember.

"Lance, Lance, oh god, please wake up, please." A voice, a voice he knew was calling out to him, pleading to him, he sounded sad, and Lance didn't like it when his friends were sad, he opened his eyes - _when had he closed them?_ \- and from his position on the ground saw Keith, looming over him, tears in his eyes, looking terrified and small.

"Wha...what did..." He couldn't form a coherent thought, let alone words, but the Red paladin understood and answered him.

"He...he had a gun, he got up, you couldn't see, I tried to warn you but I was late, I'm always _late_ , I couldn't save you, I'm sorry, I'm sorry." He had never seen him like this, broken down, his emotions bare for the world to see, if the situation wasn't so dire, he would tell him how nice it was, to see that stoic Keith Kogane could feel like any other human, that he could cry.

"S'okay, s'not that bad?" His words slurred together, his tongue not wanting to cooperate, he felt...wet and disgusting, those stains were going to be a bitch to clean.

"Right, right, I contacted Pidge and Hunk, they'll be here in no time - _he sniffed_ \- we'll get you to a healing pod and you'll be as good as new." His smile was wobbly, and Lance knew instantly that he was lying, he managed to shift his gaze down and saw all the blood, and knew without a shadow of a doubt that he was done for.

"Keith....don't....not'n the floor." He didn't want to die like this, thrown onto the cold metal floors of a galran ship, he didn't want to die at all, he was scared, he wanted his family, to see them once again, he wanted to feel the waves hitting his feet as he walked trough the sand, wanted to see the sunrise, to eat on that pizza shack with his siblings as they chatted about random things, but most of all, he didn't want to die alone.

"Lance...I don't want to move you, I don't want to make it worse." His teammate looked conflicted, but Lance began sobbing, gasping and crying, trying to reach him with his hand, and Keith broke, with a tenderness that he didn't know the Red paladin possessed, he maneuvered him until he was cradling Lance into his arms, the warmth of the Red paladin's body against his own made him sigh in contentment, his eyes drooping slightly.

"Hey, hey now, don't fall asleep, just a little while, stay awake, they are coming." It was difficult to heed his advice, the pain from his back was fading, and he was getting sleepier as the seconds ticked by, he snuggled closer to Keith, feeling his arms tighten around him, and couldn't help but want that it didn't have to end like this, he didn't regret saving Lotor, not really, but the other paladins were going to have a hard time now because of him.

On the back of his mind he could hear Red and Blue howling in pain, desperation coursing trough them, they wanted their paladin back, their cub, the other two weren't too far off, crying and whimpering, while Black felt like he was restless, waiting for something to happen, what, though, Lance had no idea. He would miss them, he would miss the lions so much, he wanted to see them, he wanted his friends, he wanted Allura and Coran, he wanted Shiro, he cried softly, a hiccup escaping his lips.

"Keith...Keith...m'scared." He felt pathetic, whimpering like a child, trying to hold onto life for as long as possible, even thought he knew there was zero chance of salvation.

"It's okay, it's fine, you - _he hiccupped_ \- you'll be fine, I'm here, we are getting you back to the castle in a tick." He could hear his comms going crazy - _how had he not noticed until now?-_ everyone was shouting, the lions were going crazy, the castle couldn't land because a magnetic field? That's all he could gather before sound was slowly, but surely, getting away from him, his hearing failing and making him cry harder, he'd wanted to hear Keith's soothing voice until the bitter end.

"Lance, Lance, hey no, don't do this, open your eyes!" He tried, but it was a lost battle, he was still crying, and it was taking all his energy to do so, after that he couldn't hear him anymore, he felt his touch fading away too, couldn't feel the arms around him, he focused all of his energy on opening his eyes, one last time, just once, and trough blurry eyesight he saw the last thing that he would take with himself to the grave.

Keith was screaming, full out sobbing, his eyes full of tears that overflowed and fell down his cheeks and onto Lance's face, his nose was Red and his mouth trembled while he babbled words he couldn't hear, the Red paladin brought him close to his face, resting his wet cheek on Lance's forehead, the sobs wracked trough his body, making him feel the vibrations and as he shed the last few tears of his lifetime, he had one last thought.

_'He cares, he would cry for me like that.'_

An then he fell into the unforgiving embrace of darkness.

\--

He woke up with a shout ready on his lips that trailed off into a strangled sound as he noticed he was on his bed, on the castleship, confusion filling his mind he looked down, wondering, he brought his hands to his back and touched the skin there,...nothing. Feeling like he'd come back from some sort of acid trip he sought his space clock, which was on the floor because he probably knocked it off the night table with his flailing, and as soon as it was on his hands it fell back again with a thud, the clock read 20:00 PM, Day 179 of Voltron.

 _'No no nononnono, he was, Keith was, he was hurt, Keith...Keith was crying, there was...'_ He racked his mind for the memories he knew he had, Lotor had been there, Haggar was controlling him, they were going to Horaxia? His mind was doing backflips on him, he caught a memory but before he could fully analyze it another one took it's place, it was impossible to make out what happened when, or where and it was driving him nuts.

Was this some kind of joke? Had he been captured by the galra and they were trying to drive him crazy? Or was he in a coma and just dreaming? Was he just insane?

He began breathing rapidly, his vision coming and going, everything was blurry and his balance was out of whack, he felt dizzy and realized he was about to hyperventilate but couldn't stop, his hands were trembling, whole body shaking, he was going to pass out if this continued. And just when he thought he was going to fade, a presence on his mind forced a wave of coolness over his whole being, making him shudder, but he noticed that his breathing had slowed, his heartbeat had calmed down, and the woozy feeling and overall discomfort had faded away.

"Black...?" He had a feeling it was him, but couldn't really tell, it was useless to ask out loud, but talking made him feel better, the silence of the room feeling smothering.

Black roared in affirmation from the back of his mind and he sighed in relief, he still didn't know what was going on, but at least he felt better, along with Black, though, there were more presences in his subconscious, and they were not the other lions, which alarmed him, before he could panic, Black sent him an image of the hangar and Lance understood that he wanted him to go there, so he dressed in his usual clothes and with all the courage he could muster walked trough the dark castle hallways to the Black lion's hangar.

It didn't take him long, five minutes at best, but he felt kind of overwhelmed when he arrived, the Black lion was the biggest of them all, his presence imposing and strong, as soon as he was close to him, his maw opened, inviting him inside, and he followed trough, arriving to the cockpit and sitting on the chair, it felt wrong somehow, like no one but Shiro was allowed there, but he called him here, so he had no choice but to comply if he wanted to find out what was going on.

"Okaaay...soooo, what should I do?" Just as he asked that question he felt himself being pulled away, or torn apart would be a better way of putting it, he let out a small yelp followed by a curse and when he opened his eyes he found himself on a strange place, it was purple, the expanse of what his eyes saw was colored in light lavender and there didn't seem to be an end to it, just an endless void.

He heard a purr and looked back, the Black lion was there, crouched down and looking at him, encouraging him to look around, and when he turned back, the barren land was filled with.... _him?_ It was the creepiest thing he'd ever seen, there were hundreds, thousands of Lances standing there, like mannequins or wax figures, all of them had their eyes closed into a peaceful expression whilst a golden light shone upon them. He didn't understand, didn't know what the lion was trying to tell him, suddenly, as if reading his mind - _he probably did_ \- he nudged Lance to the right, willing him to look, and when he did, he wished he hadn't.

There were two replicas of him lying on the floor, the first one had a dagger trough his heart and blood pooled around him in a gruesome display, the second one was lying on his front, the skin on his back was burnt and raw, a hole in his stomach leaking a steady stream of liquid onto the floor, making him gag, none of the two were bathed into the same golden shine as the others, it was terrifying and disgusting, but he still didn't understand.

"What....what is this, I don't get it, what is going on? Why did you bring me here?" His voice was frantic, he just wanted to sleep and forget about everything, a growl told him that was a bad idea and the lion nudged his mind to look more closely at the replicas, it was the least thing he wanted to do, but he knew he had no choice.

He approached the second replica, the one that called to him the most, and as soon as he focused all of his attention on it, a rush of emotions crushed him, it was like a kaleidoscope, looking at distorted images that told a story he didn't want to acknowledge. When it finished he was left gasping, he saw it all, _waking up, 8:00 AM on the 179th day, the mission, the planet, the battleship, Lotor, fighting soldiers, the witch, his plan to save the prince, being shot on the back, Keith's crying, his death, waking up, 8:00 am on the 179th day..._ and as he looked around to all the other Lances and back at the two on the floor, something clicked into place.

"I'm stuck on a _loop_?!" His voice was shrill and it came out more terrified than intended "No, no, can't be, those things don't just happen, there must be a mistake, I'm sure it's just some kind of technology, something Pidge can get around, she's really smart, she can do it." He was in denial, he knew, but the possibility of it being real was something he didn't want to contemplate.

Black growled a negative, something about the astral plane being connected to ones quintessence, and once again suggested he look at the other dead Lance, _yeah, sure, why not? Not like it was going to traumatize him or anything_. He did it anyway, and recalled everything, _the debrief, being mad at Keith, the planet, the battleship, listening to Lotor's story, fighting together, falling on the pool -_ Black growled at that fragment of a memory _-, the stabbing, Keith killing Lotor, and then death._

"The pool? That's what you were trying to say? Was that quintessence?" Black nodded in his mind, and showed him a picture of people being trapped on glass cases, their life force being sucked out of them, what was left afterwards was a small, golden vial.

"Oh my god." He felt like puking, his stomach churned and he was feeling sick, tears forming on his eyes, the pool he had fallen into, it wasn't normal quintessence from a planet or plants or whatever, it was from dead people, thousands of aliens killed in cold blood to obtain their life-force. At the sudden realization, the whispers that had been murmuring a continuous stream on his subconscious came forth, a single thought left to him as they vanished forever.

  
_'Do not forget, Redo, as many times as needed.'_

  
He felt terror at the implications of their words, the situation at hand being too much for him to process, couldn't grasp reality trough the fright that shook his very core, so with his mind in turmoil and his brain too scrambled to form a coherent thought, he did the only thing that he could think of.

  
He screamed.


	3. Moving on

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lance tries do deal with the knowledge he has obtained, and struggles to find out where to go from there, he learns more about Coran's past along the way, they have a bonding moment, and he makes some decisions that he will probably regret later.  
> Those are a problem for future Lance though, present Lance just wants this day to end.  
> He should have known better.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, early update again? I don't even know in which day I live, I thought that three weeks had already passed and was like "Hey, I just finished the chapter, good time to update, nearly a month but not quite." and I look at the calendar and whelp, just twelve days since the last update, what is my life.
> 
> I just can't seem to stop writing, and i'm kinda sorry because this chapter is too long? Like, i had half the mind to split it in two chapters, but if i did that, chapter three would have been transition, and chapter four the climax, and i didn't want that, of course if you think it would be easier to read split in two, feel free to tell me so I can edit it, no problem at all.
> 
> This puts an end to Arc I: The beginning, chapter 4 begins a new arc, buckle up because the angst is coming.
> 
> My work will pick up now that summer has nearly ended, so from now on, probably, updates will be a little slower, I hope you guys have fun with this chapter, as always, thanks to anyone who left kudos, bookmarked, suscribed, or took the time to read it, you guys are the best!

* * *

His scream echoed around him, sounding closer than he expected, and when his throat finally gave out , his shriek fading into a garbled sound, he opened his eyes and found himself back inside the cockpit of the Black lion, no barren purple land or creepy clones in sight. He clutched at his chest, breathing labored, heartbeat thumping like crazy, chills coursing trough his very soul leaving him winded and a trembling mess.

 _'Can't be, can't be real, how am I- how do I- why did this happen to me?'_ He was panicking, he knew, the whispers on the back of his mind were gone now, satisfied that he finally remembered what happened, leaving him with some ominous last words that he didnt want to acknowledge, how was he supposed to deal with this? What was he supposed to do? Why him? Was this permanent? Could it be undone? He was scared, so, so scared.

He teared up, sniffing slightly while his hands tugged at his hair and hurt his scalp, but the pain kept him grounded, reminding him that he was alive, and this was real, _he was fine, he was okay, he could deal, no problem at all, he was water, he could adjust he was adaptable he was-_

A loud purring sound broke him out of his trance, soft and chilly like a winter breeze, it was blue, _his_ blue, he tried to focus his attention on her and was rewarded with a wave of coolness and serenity, her soothing voice doing wonders to his beaten up mind, he had missed her so much it had been almost unbearable, he loved red as well, but his bond with blue was tight, and in a situation as critical as this one, with the frail state he found himself in, only her presence would have been able to calm him down.

He breathed deep in his chest, his lungs expanding with each one and slowly clearing the fog on his mind, making thinking easier, he was aware of his surroundings now, thankfully, and noticed he was gripping the arm rest on the pilot chair to the point of ripping. Carefully as to not hurt his cramped hands, he let go of the fabric, slowly clenching and unclenching his fists until feeling returned to them.

Blue was still talking to him, her voice a sweet melody that kept him sane while the other lions rumbled silently, not wanting to agitate him while he was so unstable, he appreciated their concern, but if he didn't count the fact that he was terrified and bewildered beyond belief, he felt better than ever; no headache, no nausea, no bodily pains, no dizziness, only the terrifying fact that he seemingly couldn't _die_.

He was still a bit out of it, but when he thought back on it, a lot of things made sense now, like a puzzle piece that was missing falling suddenly into place, how he knew information that hadn't being shared yet, why he remembered Lotor's name, how he knew about Haggar, why every conversation sounded familiar to him, why he had the feeling that something really bad was going to happen. He relived the memories of the first time so he could see every action, every decision he made and the consequences they had, it was like watching a movie, and pressing play or stop when he needed it, it was confusing and disturbing but he had to put his ideas in order, rearrange his mind.

When he got to the second repeat, though, he could see how his different behavior had changed the later happenings, and even if he still ended up dying, he managed to acquire new information. Even so, no matter how much he tried to concentrate on remembering those two days, his mind always fell back into a single image, something he couldn't erase from his mind even if he tried, it was Keith, the red paladin cradling him in his arms, crying in despair as Lance died, his mind focused on that thought and suddenly he could hear them again, the heart wrenching sobs that scaped his lips, fat tears rolling down his cheeks, the way he held Lance tight but tender, the way he murmured soothing words in his ear as he slowly faded away.

He felt himself tear up again, the agony and sorrow he felt back them slamming into him full force, Keith had looked broken back there, the first time too, when the dagger had breached his heart and he'd died in his arms, he'd always thought that the red paladin disliked him, not hate,- because Lance knew the other didn't do hate - but he guessed that he would have at least disliked Lance enough not to cry over his death, feel upset? Maybe, but the way he'd held onto him for dear life and tried to save him, how he'd sobbed and wailed...it broke Lance's heart, how could he have been so pretentious as to know how Keith worked or felt? He didn't have any right, the only reason he acted as if he knew the other was because of his envy, he had shaped Keith in his mind as he wanted him to be; perfect at everything without effort, smug in his victories, non-caring of anyone that wasn't Shiro, cold, distant, private, quiet, always mocking him when he made something seem effortless, but Lance had to struggle and work three times as hard to get trough.

As much as he hated to think about it, he couldn't stop now, his thoughts were alive, cogs spinning of their own accord and leading him places that he didn't know if he wanted to go to, but maybe it was finally time to accept the truth, that he didn't know Keith Kogane at all, that all his assumptions about the red paladin were made up by _him_ , in an attempt to let out his anger, insecurities and frustrations.

And Keith didn't deserve it, not when he had cried for Lance that way, not when he put himself in between Lotor (Haggar) and him in an attempt to keep him safe, not when he thought of everyone in the castle as his small mismatched family, not when he tried so hard to mingle and socialize even when he was bad at feelings, no, Keith didn't deserve any of Lance's shit, even less now that he'd lost his brother, it was time Lance did the mature thing and stopped this stupid rivalry that he began in the first place.

Red purred softly in the distance, seemingly pleased at his thoughts _(a bit of privacy please?)_ , and he slowly came back to reality, _'Okay, okay, talk about it, state the facts, think about what to do next and go from there, basically, I'm stuck on a loop, every time I die I go back to the day before, depending on how I do things, future events may change, endgame has to be not dying. Sure, cool, I can do that.'_

He couldn't do that.

"I can't do this, what am I supposed to do with this...this power? This is so messed up." He rubbed his eyes with the heel of his hands and pondered how to go about this, Blue's voice talked to him, an image of his team showing up. "Tell the others? I don't know if-"He was cut off by a wave of nausea, he felt queasy all of sudden, a chill running down his spine, a feeling of glum suffocating him.

"I...I don't think that's such a good idea, they have enough on their plate with searching for Shiro, it would be best if we kept this to ourselves, yeah? At least until I figure out how it really works, how it affects me and others, you know, important stuff." The lions didn't agree with him on that, but promised to keep it a secret, since they really couldn't explain better to Lance the inner workings of the _'gift'_ that had been bestowed upon him, they couldn't explain to the other paladins either.

"Okay, so, the first thing I'm gonna do is make a journal to keep track of the de -his tongue got caught in his mouth- _redos_ , not that it's gonna happen a lot but -he laughed nervously- just to be safe, I'll write in spanish and be as vague as possible for precaution, not that anyone here would be able to read it, the translator only works with voiced words, not written ones, and Hunk only knows insults and pick up lines, courtesy of _moi_." He pointed at himself as if proud, and the air around him turned warm and filled with giggles, when he asked Black for pen and paper or something similar in a joking matter, though, he didn't expect a small compartment to his right to open up, a black notebook with the Voltron symbol sitting inside alsongside a pen of the same colour.

"Woah, do all the lions have this?" A positive rumble " Why didn't I know about this? How many secret doors and drawers do you guys have?." Only laughter reached his ears, he pouted a little, the sound increasing, and a small smile made way to his face, he took the pen and notebook, opened the first page, and began writing in his native tongue.

He wrote the day it began, the 179th day of Voltron, and then added how many times he relived that same day, alongside a vague description of the events that transpired and a big red line under the time of day he found himself in every time he woke up after an 'end'.

"Now what? How should I go about this? I can't tell the others, and I sure as hell can't go up to Lotor and be like, 'Hey, you're like, mind possessed and stuff let me knock you out, it's for your own good', nope, that's not gonna work. I remember that Lotor got super suspicious when I said his name on the second redo and the only reason he trusted us at all was because we said we were paladins of Voltron." He bit his lip while wondering how to proceed, it was a sticky situation, if he said something to his friends, how would the situation change? On the second redo, he acted different because the voices were mad at him for not remembering, and he ended up changing the future, he had a conversation with the red paladin that he didn't have the first time, he shared that story about Hendricks with everyone, he revealed that it was Haggar who was controlling Lotor, he nearly saved him too, if only he'd paid more attention...

"That's it!" It was like he had a sudden revelation, it was so simple he wondered how he hadn't thought of it before." I just need to go about this like the second time, just go about my day like normal, free Lotor, dodge the dagger, and shock Haggar to hell." Red growled a little, leaving very clear that she did not agree with that plan, because what about the blast? The one that ended him that time? "Oh, dear Red, that's where Coran comes in, I'll go to the manufacturing room and ask him for a better and more durable breastplate, saying that it's for safety, or that my back feels tender because of my scars or something." He didn't like lying to his friends, and even less to Coran, but it seemed he had to do this alone, after all, it looked like only the lions and him remembered every time he was looped back...

"Now that I think about it, how come you guys know about this? Anyone else seems to forget every time the loop begins anew..." Black growled then, trying to share a thought with him, it was a bunch of images and feelings put together in a jumbled mess, and as much as he would love to understand the explanation he was giving him, he barely caught something about quintessence _(again, was quintessence involved in everything?)_ and their spirits being immortal or something like that. About ten minutes later, Black growled in frustration and gave up, he made something similar to a pout and dragged his ethereal form to a corner, where he proceeded to sulk, muttering about not being able to talk.

"Jesus, and you're supposed to be the leader, stop that already." He laughed a little " So, you're the only ones apart from me that know...at least I can talk to you guys about it, think positive, right?." Blue purred in delight, and basically told him to try and see the good side of the situation, it wasn't ideal, and he really didn't want to, but he couldn't mope forever, maybe he could use this power in their favor? He still didn't know how, but there must be a way to use what he already knew to make things smoother, easier, to make it so the others wouldn't suffer as much, maybe it could be an asset to the team, even if the others couldn't know about it.

"Let's see, so I ask Coran for the breastplate, yeah? And when he's gone, I synthesize some kind of bulletproof, laserproof ? vest, and I wear it under my suit, I can test it on the training room with my bayard at full power to gauge how much damage it can take. That way when Haggar blasts me from the back - like the coward she is- and she leaves Lotor's body, I'll be all fine and dandy." The five rumbles on the back of his mind let him know that it was reckless and dangerous, but also very brave, they gave him their approval as long as he assured them he was going to be safe.

With an established game plan, he set in motion to put together whatever he needed for the mission, he was really nervous and anxious, hoping to any god out there that it would work and he wouldn't have to deal with the consequences of another failure. As soon as he got out, though, the doors to the hangar opened and Keith came striding in, he was twirling his marmora blade on his hand and seemed anxious and surprised when his gaze caught Lance's.

"Lance...?" His voice was really soft, filled with genuine confusion and maybe a bit of fear? He looked jumpy, like the slightest noise would make him flee, he was squeezing the handle of the blade so hard to the point where his knuckles turned white. His distress threw Lance for a loop _(no pun intended)_ and he was left wondering what could have brought this on, what could have made the fearless red paladin such a twitchy mess.

"Why are you here? Did you...do something to Black?" The red paladin narrowed his eyes as lance tilted his head to the right, not understanding what he was going on about, why the hell would he do something to Black? It made no sense, but Keith was looking more and more restless and wouldn't look him in the eye.

Out of nowhere, he got blasted with the reality of the situation, he had completely forgotten, it may have been like two days for him, and his hate may have disappeared while he was being honest with himself and what kind of relationship he wanted to have with the red paladin, but for the latter it had only been a few hours since their discussion, Lance was supposed to be mad and avoid Keith at all costs, so finding him here, alone in the hangar of the Black lion, of course it made Keith think something fishy was going on, he probably thought that he tinkered with Black as revenge, it hurt to think that Keith thought him capable of doing anything like that, he would never endanger someone else because of his own bitterness or a petty fight.

"I just lost something earlier when I was wandering the castle and was looking for it, no need to be so rude." He needed to fix this, but now it was not the time, he couldn't just up and be friendly with Keith without reason, he wouldn't trust Lance at all, thinking he was planning something or waiting for a chance to strike, he would have to wait for the right time to make up with him. He wasn't looking for the heart to heart that would ensue, he wasn't too keen on talking about feelings, but this time he didn't have a choice, they were going to be stuck in space for a long time, he'd have to come clean and accept his faults if he ever wanted to go for a meaningful friendship with Keith.

"I...see." The other just stood there, looking uncomfortable, like he wanted to say something but didn't know how, Lance spared him the pain and waved his hands around in a dismissing motion, rolling his eyes for added effect.

"It wasn't here, so I'm going back." He tried to be curt and to the point, tried to come off as cold since he was supposed to be holding a grudge, Keith just nodded, his lips a straight line and his brows furrowed, when Lance reached the door to the hangar, he dared look back, and the look of utter dejection and disappointment on the red paladins face made his chest tighten, he wanted to talk to him so badly, to assure him that he wasn't mad anymore, that they both were at fault and they should leave their diferences aside, talk about their problems and maybe begin on the path to friendship.

After all, if it weren't for Iverson treating him like shit, and everyone comparing him to Keith coupled with his inferiority complex and insecurities, maybe they would have been friends a long time ago, he wanted to solve this but....he couldn't, not now with so much going on at the same time, so he kept quiet, guilt eating away at him, and stalked out of the room with a heavy heart.

\--

While wandering the halls of the castle searching for Coran, he thought about what he was going to tell him, imagining their conversation in his head, kinda like making a script for himself, he did that only because Coran seemed to have a knack for knowing when he was lying, so he needed to try his best to convince him he was being sincere.

He looked for the older man in the common room first, but only Pidge was there, snoozing on the couch looking dead to the world, her laptop was hanging precariously from her lap, so he took the liberty of closing it and taking it out of the way and then covering the green paladin with a blanket he knew from experience was really comfy. Once done with that he trekked to the kitchen where Hunk was trying to cook something and decided to ask his friend for help.

"Hey Hunk, have you seen Coran anywhere?" His friend turned away from what he was doing, ladle in hand, a handkerchief tied around his forehead, he looked thoughtful for a tick before answering him.

"Nah dude, sorry, I think he told me he was going to update the _hurshers_ on the _shoomklums_ , whatever the heck that is." They both laughed a little at that, neither knowing enough of the Altean language to actually understand what he and the princess were talking about half of the time.

"It's okay man, I just needed to ask him for a tiny favor, I'll go look on the control room." He waved goodbye to the yellow paladin, and the other waved back, hand stuffed into an oven mitt, usually finding Coran wasn't this difficult, the older man was always close by in case any of the paladins needed something from him, if he couldn't be found, however, it meant he most likely wanted to be alone, but Lance, recalling all those times Coran had helped him and soothed him when he was homesick, wasn't going to let the other sulk alone, no sir.

Instead of walking to the control room, he changed direction to the holo deck, where Alfor's IA had once been, it barely took him five minutes to get there, and when he opened the door, Coran was standing there, his gaze lost and faraway, probably looking back on the old days. When he heard Lance walk in, he immediately changed his solemn demeanor and smiled at him, but Lance wasn't buying it, he knew the older man was sad, and when he himself was sad, talking always made him feel better, so he was going to do for Coran what he always did for him, lend an ear and listen.

"Hello my boy, what brings you here?" He tried to sound neutral, but his voice betrayed his true feelings, a hint of sadness and a touch of longing seeping into it.

"Hey Coran, I was going to ask for a thingy...but that can wait, I just remembered last week you were telling me a story, I think? But you never got to finish it because we received a distress signal, do you think you could tell me now?" Coran's eyes lit up and his expression morphed into one of fondness, he sat on the steps leading to the holo deck and patted the space next to him, beckoning Lance to sit.

"Ah yes, I was just telling you about the time I defeated a Ghyrths for the first time, which was what led me to meet the one who would be my future wife." Coran sighed, a lovestruck look on his face, he smiled a little and twirled his moustache.

"She was fierce and loud, never one to settle down or stop to smell the flowers, she was always pursuing knowledge, any field was fine by her, she strived to discover new things and live life to the fullest." A twinge of sadness echoed in his tone, but was shadowed by the smile that overtook his face the next second " When we met, we were always fighting, always bickering with each other and making competitions out of everything, much like you and Keith do, actually." Lance sputtered, and if he had been drinking something, it would have gotten all over the place, he felt himself go red in the face while coughing up a storm and glared at Coran.

"What kind of example is _that?_ Coran, my man, that's so not cool." His voice was higher than normal because he was embarrassed as fuck, where the hell had that come from?.

"Sorry my boy -he was not, he was cackling- but you only ever bicker with Keith and not with the other paladins, and it reminded me of how I acted towards my wife." Lance rolled his eyes, a mutter of 'sure' the only answer he gave "We were like that for a long time, a few years actually, until it came to a point where I couldn't deny my feelings for her any longer, and I decided to confess my undying love in a much romantic manner, it involved fire, a Fhlaggsed beast, a lot of rope and a bouquet of thirty juniberries." Coran paused for a tick, trying to stop the laughter from escaping him, his eyes shining with mirth.

"She was screaming bloody murder for a whole Varga - he grinned- but after everything calmed down, she confessed to loving me back, so I regret nothing, I courted her for about one of your human years, and then we decided to marry, she warned me, though, that if I pulled something similar to my confession, she would dump me on the spot." Lance couldn't help it, he burst out laughing, tears springing to his eyes, it felt good to listen to the other talk about more happy times, and his adventures were pretty wild.

"Oh my god, she sounds like an awesome person Coran." He told the older man.

"She sure was, I cherish the record pix that Shiera and I took on the day of our union." He rummaged through his clothes for a while and eventually took out some kind of tablet, it was small, just as big as the palm of his hand, it's screen reflected an image on the day of Coran's wedding, he was standing tall, looking proud but stiff as a board and blushing like mad, he was dressed in the traditional altean robes for the occasion.

To his right a woman nearly as tall as him was grinning at the camera _(was it even a camera?)_ , she had an arm slung over Coran's shoulder and was gazing at him sideways, looking smug and satisfied, she was dressed all in white _(it must be an universal thing)_ with some touches of light blue, her long teal colored hair was braided in some parts and her striking red and yellow eyes held so much love in them, you could feel it even trough a photograph.

"Woah, she was truly beautiful Coran." The other man laughed while his cheeks took on a rosy color, he looked at the picture for a tick before pocketing it back.

"Yes, she was..." He trailed off. "You know, I look so embarrassed in the record pix because she whispered something totally inappropriate to me just a tick before we took it, our relationship was much like best friends, we had our ups and downs, but whenever we had a disagreement, we would talk about it and share our feelings, miscommunication wasn't something we wanted or needed." He stopped, a tiny smile appearing on his face.

"Did you know she actually never liked my mustache?" He said while twirling the ends of it."It was the theme for many of our fights, she wanted me to shave it off, and I always said no, she used to say it was hideous and it hid my gorgeous face, but I would not yield."

"Oh my god, really?" Lance was wheezing now, he had the feeling that if she was alive they would have gotten along beautifully, maybe she sould have helped Lance convince Keith to shave off his mullet.

"Yes, I never shaved it, and she never forced me, I think she didn't want to admit it, but she grew fond of it." He wiggled his eyebrows, and Lance made a face with a muttered _'tmi Coran'_ " A few Deca-Phoebs after our union, she blessed us with a beautiful son, Xain, who was as handsome as me, we raised him to the best of our habilty, while balancing my job as the royal advisor and teacher of bio engineering and her job as a soldier. When he was thirty he held his own union, and gave our family a pair of twins, they were little monsters, the both of them, there were hard times, good times, sad times...but we were never unhappy, since we had each other." His eyes downcast, Coran looked like a man who had lost everything, and he did, his wife, son and grandsons were all lost in the wake of Zarkon's madness, nothing left of them but the memories and echos of their laughter.

Lance couldn't imagine losing his family like that, so sudden, to wake up one day and realize that you're the only one left, how do you cope with something like that? He knew if he ever got back to earth and found out his whole family was gone...he'd probably die on the spot, he'll curse and cry and probably blame Allura and Blue, even when it wasn't their fault, he would choose any outlet to give free reign to his anger, nothing left of him but bitterness and regret.

But here Coran was, still laughing, still fighting, he didn't let his grief take over him, he held onto the memories of his loved ones, but not with anger or regret, he held onto them with love and fondness, those emotions fueling him, being the force that drives him to move on.

"Say, Coran, weren't you mad with Alfor for what he did?" He hadn't meant to ask, but it slipped out, he remembered that every time King Alfor was mentioned, he would avert his gaze and his expression would turn sour.

"Ah." He paused for a moment, then looked at Lance straight in the eyes, a serious look taking over his features. "They say the hardest decisions to deal with are the ones that someone makes for you, we were at the castle when the destruction of Altea began, we were trying to evacuate, but were unsuccessful, Allura and I were with the King on the Cryo room when it happened, a quake so big it tore the land in half, there was not time to think, no time to move, I wanted to run back and search for my family, but alas..." He gulped, the retelling of the events being too much for him, Lance wanted him to stop, didn't mean to make him relive it.

"As fate would have it the core exploded, nowhere to run, no safe haven for the citizens, the only sound around us the screaming and crying of the good people of Altea, King Alfor did the only thing he could, he pushed the princess and I into the pods, sent the castle on a travel to Arus, and went to his death. When I woke up and processed the events, I was furious, I thought that maybe it would have been better if I had died with my family, holding them in my arms, but I know what Shiera would have said, _'You are an idiot, you have a second chance, an oportunity to make things right, don't waste it, you silly humplums, live a good, long life for all of us'_." The older man closed his eyes and breathed in deep, his hands clasped tightly together, Lance wanted to cry.

"So as much as I tried to be mad at him, I couldn't, it was a hard choice, done in the heat of the moment with the threat of imminent death, I stopped looking at it like a curse and began thinking of it more like a gift, a chance to learn the truth of what happened, to defeat Zarkon, to make justice to all those innocents that died that day and see a world in peace." A tear escaped Coran's eyes and he quickly brushed it off, and Lance did the only think that came to mind, he hugged him, tight and hard, and the altean returned it, his grip just as strong.

When they let go Coran sighed with closed lids, and within a second he was smiling brightly, beaming at Lance with so much affection in his eyes that he didn't know what to do with himself.

"Thank you, my boy, I feel like a weight has been lifted, I didn't have the heart to share my troubles with the princess, with so much already on her plate, but now I feel bad for troubling _you_ , knowing you struggle with your own problems." He waved a hand while shaking his head, no way, Coran was _not_ allowed to feel guilty for talking about what was bothering him, the guy did his best everyday and if he had to vent now and then to Lance to feel better, then so be it.

"S'okay dude, everyone needs to relieve their stress and share their thoughts occasionally, besides, it made me really happy to learn about your family, they were really cool people." Coran smiled at him, his expression sincere and full of warmth, he got up from the steps, stretching his arms above his head and turned to stare at Lance with a pointed look.

"Oh! Yeah, I nearly forgot, I wanted to ask for a tiny favor." The older man nodded his head, edging him to go on." Soooo, you know I have scars on my back from that blast when Sendak attacked right?" He saw the other tilt his head in affirmation, his eyes holding a bit of pain at remembering the explosion. "They have been bothering me for a while, nothing serious -he hurriedly explained seeing as Coran was about to go into 'Worried uncle mode'- but they itch and tug sometimes, so I was wondering if you could modify my breastplate to be more sturdy? That way no matter what hits me, it won't bother my back too much."

He looked at the other to gauge his reaction, he seemed to be thinking hard, chin resting on his hand while he muttered about metals, and ore, and magical properties, about a dobosh later, he hummed and clasped his hands together, the sound echoing in the room.

"Yes, I know just the thing, I'll have to make a few adjustments in the armory, but it'll make your chest piece more durable and though. I'm sorry you have to deal with such pains, but I will make sure to alter it to the best of my ability so you are more comfortable."

"Thanks man." He gave his older friend a thumbs up and watched as he walked out of the room with a wave of his hand, babbling all the way about that ore that he found in a cave when he was forty three and stuff. Eventually his footsteps faded and Lance was left alone in the room, the silence helping him process all the new information it received, he had always wanted to know more about Altea and their people, and the fact that Coran trusted him enough to share stories with him warmed his heart.

He loved him like a weird but awesome space uncle, just like he loved everyone on Voltron, he didnt want to leave them, sought to protect them, and to do that he had to be alive, he had to sucker punch that witch Haggar and save Lotor so he could help defeat his father. His determination flaming anew, he focused back on his mission, the first part of his plan was already ongoing, now he just had to find the room with the synthesizer and make the laserproof vest to wear under his suit.

He exited the chamber and roamed through the hallways, trying to remember which direction he wanted to go, the fact that all signs were in Altean didn't help him much, but eventually with a lot of backtracking and exploring, he found it. The room was big, as big as the control room, it was devoid of any furniture or machinery except the one in the middle, it had a pedestal to control it, some kind of platform where you could fit a person, and the control panel.

Lance had seen Allura operate the thing once or twice, when he asked her for a copy of his jacket, since he didn't want to ruin the original one _(it was the only thing ha had left from earth, after all)_ , so he didn't think he'd have great difficulty in using it, and even if he had, he was good at winging it, he'll just press buttons until something worked.

He aproached the machine and eyed the platform to the left, then gazed back to the keyboard, he touched some keys and played around a little before the lights on the device turned on, a whirring sound filling the chamber. Leaving his jacket on the floor he made his way to the circular slope and stood there, when nothing happened he thought that maybe he'd made some mistake, but not a tick later a blue light scanned his body from head to toe, probably getting his measurements, and when it finished it let out a 'ding' sound that made Lance think of a microwave, which made him laugh.

"Chicken is ready!" He giggled to himself before going back to the control panel, on the screen he saw a 3D image of his body, with all his measurements and extra info in there, there were options to the left that were accompanied with little drawings, so even though he couldn't read shit, he knew more or less what to do. He clicked on the image of a tank top, the cloth showing in the full body picture, then he looked around for the different settings he could change and found durability, strength and elasticity among a lot of others he had no idea what they were for.

He clicked max for everything, just in case, and left the flexibility and elasticity options at 50%, he could always make another one if the first was a failure, so he wasn't worried, he pushed the button for 'Start' and the engines let out a loud buzz while they worked, he didn't have to wait long, after only about two minutes another 'ding' filled the room and he walked over to the metal slab to claim his prize.

The texture of the fabric was pleasant, rough on the outside but soft and stretchy on the inside, and it didn't itch when he rubbed it against his face, the only problem? He had forgot to change the color options, so now he had a laserproof top in bright hot pink _(the option was probably left on pink when Allura created her armor)._ He liked the color, really, but it was supposed to be inconspicuous, and if his suit got a tear on it, well, it would definitely be seen, still, he didn't have the patience to make another one when this one was perfectly functional, and he had to erase the blueprints quickly so no one would find them out and question him as to why he wanted one in the first place.

Putting the garment on his arms, he deleted everything as fast as he could, turned off the machine and ran to his room, he didn't want anyone to catch him exiting the chamber or notice the pink cloth in his arms. Once in the safety of his own room he took off his jacket and shirt and tossed them on the bed, then proceeded to try on the tank top, and well, he didn't want to sound vain but, he looked really damn good in pink, the thing fit his curves just right, and it was tight, but not to the point of not being able to breathe, it was perfect.

But now he had to make sure that it would be able to take a blast to the back or stomach, so he redressed, caught the top, and stalked out of his room with the training deck as his destination, he just hoped Keith wouldn't be there, he didn't have the heart to look at him right now and not feel guilty, so he'd rather avoid him until this was over.

Thankfully when he got there it was empty, he summoned a droid and put him on stand by, then dressed it with the top, it was an hilarious image really, and he had the mind to send a quick image of it to both Red and Blue, their giggling and snorts filling his mind and body with warmth, the other three lions caught a glimpse of it too, and they found it funny, even if they were metaphorically shaking their heads in disapproval.

For the next half hour he proceeded to beat the shit out of that droid, he used all the settings on his gun, he used bombs, flamethrowers, lasers, swords, acid, he even threw a shoe at it, and the thing was as immaculate as when he first brought it in, he touched it everywhere, but not a tear, scratch, burn or damage in general had been done to it. Satisfied with the outcome, he turned off the droid and walked back through the hallways, ready to rest for a while, not sleep, because right now he was terrified of closing his eyes, afraid that when he opened them he'd find himself back to the beginning.

His mind wandered as he roamed, what excuse should he give the others if they asked about the top? If they ever found out, that is. _'What should I say to them? That I wanted to feel safe? Or that my back was bothering me? But I already told Coran and he'd been working on a new breastplate, he'd think I didn't trust him or his abilities enough and be dissapointed. Maybe just, I wanted an undershirt, and I didn't understand the settings, so it came out like this? I think they'll likely believe that last one, as disheartening as it is.'_

Before he noticed he was already at his door, he walked inside and left the tank top inside his dresser, then he laid on his back on the bed and tried to relax, if his space clock was right, he had five hours to psych up about what he was going to do, he wasn't thrilled to go through it again, but of course, he didn't have a choice, he was going to protect everyone, and that included Lotor, no matter how scared he was, he wanted to be useful, to help the team get better, to save them from suffering if he was able to, to make it so their smiles were honest and filled with happiness instead of melancholic and dull. And if that meant using his weird loop power for their own benefit, then so be it, he was ready to suffer the consequences if that meant keeping safe those that he loved.

He drifted off with that thought filling his mind.

\--

He wasn't asleep when the alarms blared, he'd drifted for a bit, being on the verge of sleep but never giving in, his brain too jumbled and his anxiety at a higher level than ever preventing him from even trying, it also didn't help that he was scared of nightmares and sleeping in general. He was on his feet and ready to put his armor when he remembered about the breastplate, he'd have to search for Coran as fast as he could to get it, but as of now he suited up and marched to the control room even before Allura's voice came from the intercom, warning them about an upcoming emergency.

He arrived on record time, and watched as Allura and Keith talked about the mission and the strategy they were going to use before turning to gaze at him, donning their faces in surprise, and as always, the red paladin looked uncomfortable and stiff and the guilt continued to eat at Lance bit by bit. Allura, though, was smiling a bit and seemed happy that he arrived early, the last time this happened, he sat on his designed seat and waited for the events to unfold, but he was restless, and felt like he couldn't stay put, so maybe he could pass time talking with their leaders, get the gist of how a tactician worked, so as to aid more in the future and ease the burden they both carried.

"Hey guys" He walked up to them and stood in the middle, looking at the screen."Wanna share with me what you're working on?" He tried to sound curious, and it wasn't all that difficult, strategy had always been kind of fun to Lance, but the way they explained it at the Garrison made it feel boring and dull, with Allura, though, it felt easier to understand.

"Hello Lance, I'm glad you're showing interest in our activities, Keith and I were working on a way to free the captives of this planet, I'll give you the full debrief later, but they are trapped underground, as you can see -she pointed at the small map that was showing some mines- Pidge and Hunk will go in and evacuate, but the path is way too small for Green to fit, and it's a long walk back, we are afraid that not all of them will make it and were thinking of an alternative." So that was the reason why Pidge always took so long to extract the captives, Green couldn't go in, and the walk to the mines was long and tedious, while she was evacuating, Keith and him nearly got killed a few times and the lions got really banged up, they couldn't dodge forever, so if the green paladin had a better path to go through, their safety wouldn't be compromised.

"I see..." He looked at the holo map again and saw a thin line just below the main pathway, he pointed at it. "Hey, how about this one? This road looks way shorter, and it goes straight back to where green would be waiting." Allura shook his head sadly, her expression grim.

"Won't work, that road is actually an underground river, it crosses the mines in half the time than the main path, but the prisoners can't swim, they are tired and hurt, some of them only children, we considered that option, but sadly, it wasn't viable." Her eyes downcast, she clasped her hands together and looked ready to give up, but Lance had some good news to give her, even if he was surprised that they hadn't thought of it before.

"But Allura, it has been, what, years? since their planet has been conquered, the galra took all their resources, and left the planet a barren wasteland, I can see it in this file, it's basically a desert now, and that means that the water is probably gone too, it's as much of a resource as minerals or food are, and the Galra wouldn't just leave it be." Shock was the main emotion on the princess' face, she opened her mouth so say something and closed it again.

"I think, as sad as it is to admit it, that river should be gone by now, and with help from Pidge's bayard they can trek that road quick and take all the captives to safety way faster." Allura did her version of a facepalm, a frustrated sight escaping her lips.

"How did we not see that before? We've been at this for hours before calling any of you, we've looked at this map a hundred times, and still, something of such importance bypassed us, I'm dissappointed with myself." She ran a hand through her hair, looking tired and small, like she just wanted to sleep for another ten thousand years, but knew she wasn't able to.

"Maybe that's why, you've been working on this non stop, and the stress has gotten to you, sometimes you need an outsider point of view to share new ideas, even if they aren't valid or useful, they can inspire you to think outside the box." Allura tilted her head, probably not understanding the expression, and to his left, Keith was smiling slightly.

"I see, you're completely right, Lance, thanks to your imput, we can devise a better strategy so we do not endanger any of you, or the prisoners more than necessary. This...'thinking outside the box' has been insightful, I think it would be a good idea to include you in our future meetings from now on, this way you can share your thoughts and Keith and I will be able to think with more clarity." Now it was Lance's turn to be surprised, or shocked more like, the princess wasn't one to let anyone meddle into her battle plans, knowing that even a little mistake could cost someone their lives, but she was willing to trust him now, to hear what he had to say, the only reason she hadn't done that before was probably because he acted like a goofball, if he had showed her his strategies and ideas, and did so being serious and honest, she would have listened to him.

He was embarrassed to admit that the whole 'belittling' thing was kind of 50% his fault, he acted loud and obnoxious because it was the way he dealt with stress, but even so, while on debrief, he could have left his fake persona aside and act like the paladin he was. If he had done that before, he wouldn't have felt so undervalued to the point of thinking his team didn't love him, it was obvious, with the recent turn of events, that Allura trusted him and would appoint him as her right hand man if he showed he was capable, which he was.

"I agree, I think Lance would make a great right hand man or advisor." Keith's voice brought him back to reality, the red paladin still looked scared of facing him and kinda like he wanted to run away, but he still forced a smile for Lance, and he saw in his eyes and tone of voice that the words he said were completely honest, filled with an intensity that left no room for doubt.

"I...thank you, if you need me, well, you know where to find me?." He got a smile out of Allura for that, afterwards they talked about the new strategy and Lance added commentary here and there to the points he thought he could be useful. A few doboshes later the rest of the paladins plus Coran -who winked at him- entered the room, Lance was ready to go back to his seat, but a hand on his wrist prevented him from doing so, it looked like Keith had other plans for him, his eyes seemed to say 'stay', and the guilt that invaded him every time he looked at the other said 'listen to him', so he did, he stood in between the princess and the red paladin while the briefing began and Allura explained the situation, with Keith adding his two cents when he thought necessary.

" Pidge and Hunk will evacuate the captives, Lance -he jumped a little at the mention of his name- why don't you explain it to them?." Keith nodded at him and suddenly Lance had stage fright, he was never good with talking to groups of people, even if they were his friends, his hands always sweated and he got red in the face, it wasn't pretty.

"I...ah..." He had to do this, he could do this, _c'mon Mclain, buckle up_." Yes, you will both go on Green to the planet using her cloaking device, you will round this mountain -he pointed to the same mountain of his other 'lives' but the entrance he choose was on the opposite side'- and land here, the cave is big enough tha green will fit and her particle barrier will block anyone from try and enter. It used to be an underground river so it will most likely not be guarded, but the terrain will be a bit rough, Pidge will have to use her bayard to hoist both of you up until you reach the mines." The map changed to and image of the inside of the mines, showing all the passageways, entrances and exits.

"Once there, you'll have to defeat any enemies and rescue the Horaxians, then follow the path of the river back to where Green is located and evacuate, any questions?." He tried for a professor kind of vibe, and was rewarded with a shake of head and a sweet smile from Hunk and a salute and grin from Pidge.

"No sir!" They both answered, and Lace felt like some life had returned to him, his tension melting a little at the interaction with his friends, the fact that they didn't question why he was acting like Keith's second or the plan he had devised, it made him feel...warm.

"Good, Lance and I will act as distractions, we'll stall them as much as we can to buy time, but try and be quick, we depart in five, be ready." With that, all the paladins got up and exited the room, but as Lance was about to follow them Coran stopped him with a hand on his shoulder.

"My boy, aren't you forgetting something?" And he remembered then, the breastplate, if he had gone away without it he could have messed up his whole plan, and he wasn't ready for yet another redo, not now, maybe not ever.

"Ooooh, yeah, thanks Coran, I nearly forgot." He followed the older man out of the room and to the armory, and as soon as the door opened he knew which was his, Coran really outdid himself this time, the breastplate was in the same shape as the old one, but the design was different, it was mainly blue, a deep blue like the one of his shoulder pads, the voltron symbol on the middle was smaller and white, and the armor had a white design on the edges that looked like mermaid scales that shone like a rainbow when seen from the right angle.

"Jesus Coran, I asked for a new durable breastplate, not a work of art, I don't even think I can wear this." He tried in vain not to tear up, but it was difficult when the older man looked so proud and happy and gave him the most 'proud dad' face he could muster.

"None of that, this is made just for you, you were in my thoughts when I was creating it, it's more durable, strong but soft on the back so it won't bother your scars, it's water resistant, well, it resists any liquid substance but that's besides the point, the design it's also made to your liking, I hope, I know you said you liked mermaids, so a scale pattern was my first choice." He looked Lance in the eye and held him by the shoulders.

"Listen Lance, you saved my life that time when the bomb detonated, you've been a constant support for me and the rest of the team, neglecting your own health and well being, you've brought us out of our own sadness even when you struggled with your own pain, I am proud of you, and as small as it is, this is my gift for you, it will be a full armor when I have the time to syntethise the rest." Lance was left speechless and the tears he held at bay finally came on full force, he was weeping silently, but smiling, it warmed his heart that someone thought of him so dearly, that he had created something just for _'him'_ , not for the 'blue paladin' or the 'soldier' , this was an armor for _Lance_ , only for him, he felt so...loved, it made him glad to be alive, to have gone through the redos and end up in this moment.

"Thanks Coran, this means a lot to me." The altean hugged him tight, and Lance held onto him, his determination in succeeding his mission flaring again, stronger than ever, no one was going to get in his way. And as he put on the new armor and looked himself in the mirror, he caught strength and steel in his own gaze, and knew that this time, he was going to emerge victorious, witches and Galra be damned, he was going to protect what was his.

The booming roars he heard inside his head seemed to agree with him.

\--

Once everyone was suited up and inside their lions, they departed towards Horaxia, Lance was anxious all the way there, he couldn't help but look outside, to the emptiness of space, and watch as the things he recognized passed him by, this time he knew the reason they felt familiar, so he wasn't scared or freaked out, but he thrummed with nerves and excitement, and not the good kind, but the type where you can't stop fidgeting and your body is trembling slightly, he was sweating and it was annoying.

"Hey bud, I just remembered." Hunk's voice came from the comms sounding excited "Congrats on becoming second in command!" He smiled big at Lance, but he was at a loss.

"What do you mean? That....didn't happen?." He was confused as hell, where was Hunk getting that info from? He doesn't remember that happening.

"Dude, you stood in between Allura and Keith and explained in complete detail the escape plan while both of them looked at you like proud moms or something." Pidge helpfully contributed. "And I'm sure it won't be the last time they ask for your opinion or take you to their meetings, so that makes you the second in command." Before he could say anything to deny their words, tell them they were imagining things, Hunk intervened.

"I mean, it's not like I was surprised or anything, you've always had a quick mind and reflexes, could think of plans in a split second if you found yourself in a pinch." His friend giggled a little and Lance forgot how to work his vocal chords. "I mean, do you remember second year, april, the ' The Garrison is haunted' incident?." He felt himself become red in the face, all the way to his ears, oh he remembers all right, but he doesn't want to share that story with anyone.

"I do, but that was just pure luck because I remembered he was scared of ghosts and-."

The yellow paladin cut him out " Nuh-uh, it wasn't only that time, what about second year, october, the halloween snuck out? Or that time when Iverson was being a bitch and you showed him -albeit anonymously- who was boss? No, it wasn't luck, you have quick thinking, know how to get yourself out of trouble, you remember facts that help you out in the future , you're adaptable, and are also stealthy as hell. You deserve to be up there with them, leading us, I know how much you wanted to pilot black and be the leader, prove yourself, but you've already done that a thousand times over, now your efforts paid off and I know with both you and Keith on the frontlines, we'll be unstoppable." He felt like he was going to cry again, and he didn't need that, no sir, he had already cried his share today, his quota was filled.

Pidge snorted and added her two cents "Yeah, they work well together, mostly because Lance works as Keith's impulse control - _Hey!_ \- and thinks of plans that do not engage into battle unless necessary, and Keith pushes Lance to his limits, fighting with ferocity and just slashing first and asking questions later, not the best strategy, but it works sometimes." She was grinning now, knowing that would rile them up and dissipate the tension that had blossomed between them, Lance felt grateful, it was a small reprieve until he could finally come clean to the red paladin and have a serious talk with him.

"Time to focus guys, we're here." Keith's voice turned serious, and everyone tensed, going over the plan one more time, Hunk and Pidge flew away while telling them to be careful and not to be reckless, Lance shot finger guns at them and saluted, trying not to sound as nervous as he felt.

"Okay then, team leader, I guess is time to act as a distraction, yeah?." Keith startled a little, his jump was visible on the screen, he looked at Lance for a second before turning his head away and clenching his jaw, then he counted down from ten and they flew trough the atmosphere.

Immediately, lasers shot at them from all places and he began doing evasive maneuvers to dodge, it was easier than last time, mostly because he knew where the shots were going to come from, and he could also cover Keith with his cannon for the same reason. This time it took less than ten minutes for Pidge to contact them, she sounded happy and relieved, and relayed that the path Lance had discovered was easier to trek through and they had managed to evacuate all the captives with minimal inconvenience.

As soon as they heard the message, Red grumbled, telling him to charge the flamethrower, because she felt like blowing something up, he felt like it was a bit overkill, but who was he to deny his lady, and so, he watched with amused fascination and she fired and the whole galra outpost blew up in flames and debris, nothing left but scorched rocks and pieces of metal.

"Jeez, girl, I know you were mad but...." She shared thoughts with him, saying that it wasn't enough for all the pain they caused him, that they got it coming, and that she was going to make good on her promise of keeping him safe." What did he ever do to deserve the unconditional love of five mechanical ten thousand year old magic lions, he would never know, but he couldn't say he didn't enjoy it, they purred at the thought.

"Good job guys, Pidge are you going back to the castle?" The red paladin asked.

"Yeah, while you guys were blowing things up, we managed to get everyone back to the castle safely, we're coming back to join you so we can patrol the area and make sure the planet is free." She gave them a thumbs up and got back to concentrate on flying.

"The mission was a success, I see." Allura's voice joined them while they waited for the other paladins to come " I'm proud of you, paladins, it seems this time our plan went smoother thanks to you, Lance, all the captives are tired and sore, and more than a little depressed, but they are thankful of the swift rescue you carried out, said that some of the elders could be saved because of our quick thinking." Allura was beaming at him, a look of pride and warmth on her beautiful face, he was happy, so, so happy, this time he managed to change things, he didn't even know that people died the other times because they were too slow to evacuate.

It only took for him to be brave, to finally stop acting and be sincere with his leaders (and himself) and share his honest ideas, no flirty Lance, no aloof Lance, no jealous Lance, just his real feelings raw for them to see, and they had trusted him, trusted in his plan, didn't even doubt before applying his intel to the original data like it was the easiest thing in the world.

And lives were saved because of it, lives that would have been lost otherwise, he felt like all the pain he had suffered was worth it, if it meant being able to look as those small children laughed while they hugged their grandfather, happy that he was still alive.

"Thanks princess, I'm glad that-" A sudden wormhole appearing had im stop, _'shit'_ , he had forgotten about the battleship, how could he have forgotten? Lotor was in there, the hardest part of his solo mission was beginning, and he couldn't afford to be distracted by anything. As if struck by lightning he laser focused, eyes narrowed and centered on the ship, he emptied his mind, no thoughts other than the endgame he wanted to achieve filling it, he gripped his controls thight, felt the fabric of the tank top and the material of the breastplate graze his skin, he took a deep breath and readied himself for what was to come.

\--

The inside of the ship looked as royal as ever, and it pissed Lance off for some reason, that witch made it look harmless, just a battleship to carry captives back and forth, the reality of what happened inside of it was something he didn't even want to begin to contemplate, they had snuck in through the vents, just like _before_ , and had landed into the room with the expensive looking furniture, Keith was giving Pidge and Hunk orders to look for intel on Shiro, Matt, or anything that could be of interest on the right side of the ship, while they would look out for prisoners on this side and rescue anyone that needed it.

Lance didn't have the heart to even suggest that everyone could be already dead, he knew they were, could sometimes still hear the echos of their cries, but there was no way for him to know that yet, so he kept silent. His friends departed to fulfill their part of the mission and Keith motioned for him to follow as they trekked through the hallways, silent, quiet, unnerving, just like _before_ , nothing moved, nothing breathed.

He had a sudden revelation in the stillness that surrounded him, how was he going to speak with Lotor? It was a sudden though, but he hadn't planned this part -a mistake he was regretting right now-, he was probably going to introduce himself, tell them his story, and then Lance would ask for him to tag along, and he was left wondering...why did Lotor tell them everything before, just like that? It didn't make any sense, to share everything about oneself, revealing your weak points, just because someone told you they're a paladin, it didnt mean it was the truth, what pushed him to be so honest with two complete strangers?

Lance had a few theories, one was that Lotor thought he wasn't going to get out of the ship alive, and wanted them to know his struggles, to not be forgotten, another possibility was that he was already mind controled by Haggar, and it was a ruse to get them to trust him, but it was unlikely, since the markings and eye color appeared when she got full control last time, the last possible reason...well, he was lonely, never had anyone he could fully trust or didn't want an innocent to have to shoulder his burden, so he spilled everything to two strangers that didn't have anything to gain from his story, finally relieving the stress he had been keeping inside, Lance could relate.

Lance felt sick to his stomach knowing what fate awaited the prince if he failed, someone so kind hearted and determined, someone that was rejected by the same people he was trying to save, he who sacrificed everything for the possibility of a better future didn't deserve to be the puppet of anyone, specially not that monster of a druid.

Suddenly his interaction with Lotor didn't matter anymore, he would act normal and whatever spilled out of his mouth would be it, the only thing that mattered was keeping him safe, turning him their ally, becoming someone the prince could trust.

"Hey, is that a prison?" Keith's voice brought him back, they had arrived to the area where prisoners were held...if there were any, Lance knew each cell was going to be empty except one.

"We should look for survivors -the red paladin looked at him strange at the choice in wording- I can take this wing, and you can search that other one." Keith seemed skeptical but eventually nodded, walking away. Lance felt guilty for lying to his companion, but he felt it was better this way, maybe the other didn't have to know about the prince, maybe he could tell him he was some Galra rebel that had been captured, that way, his prejudices for the prince would be left to a better time and place, and if they fought together, they would develop a sense of camaraderie that would made Keith more willing to accept the other.

He knew this was going to come back and bite him in the ass, but he had already made a decision, now he had to stick with it. He sped up without looking at the prison cells, knowing they were empty of life, and raced to the one at the far end of the hallway stopping a few feet away to take a deep breath and steel himself, _'no time for doubts now'._

He stood in front of the bars and gazed upon the tall form of the Galra prince, he looked as royal and composed as he remembered, chin held high and back straight, his eyes roamed over Lance's form until they landed on the voltron symbol on his chest.

"A Paladin?" He questioned, he tried to sound neutral, but Lance caught a tiny silver of hope in his tone, the prince's eyes looking him over as thought he was searching for any proof that his assumption was right.

"That's right, I'm the blue paladin of Voltron and I'm here to save you." The other's eyes still held suspicion and doubt, but he relaxed his posture some and finally looked Lance in the eyes.

" Blue paladin, why is it that you affirm to be here to save me? I am, as you can clearly see, of Galran heritage, shouldn't you held only hate and mistrust towards me and my kind?" He was testing him, probably, wanting to see if the paladins of voltron were mindless soldiers who were fooled by misleading knowledge and driven by negative feelings.

"Sorry, but I don't follow stereotypes, I'm here to save any captives I can find, and as I see it, you are being held prisoner, so I'll rescue you. Race and stuff don't matter to me, I know for a fact that my own race has a lot of evil people, just as it has good people, that's true for any race in the universe, I know the galra are not exceptions." Surprise filled Lotor's face, his mouth opening a tiny bit in surprise, even when being in less than optimal circumstances, the prince's manners were impeccable, it made Lance nervous because he was a wreck of a human person, and he was supposed to interact with him without sounding disrespectful.

"I see." His mouth stretched to form a beautiful smile " I'm glad the paladins of Voltron have someone like you in their ranks, if the others posses even a little of your kindness, I'm certain the universe doesn't have anything to fear." Lotor moved his hand outside the bars, holding it out for Lance to take. "My name is Lotor, I am Zarkon's only son and heir to the galra empire." His voice was filled with determination and strength, and he probably thought that Lance was going to do a 180º on him and suddenly gut him or something, but he had the upper hand this time, he already knew who he was, and even if he didn't, the first time they met he had already trusted him, he knew Lotor was not evil, his instincts never lied.

He held Lotor's hand on his own and gave a light squeeze. "My name is Lance, Blue paladin of Voltron, it's an honor to meet you." The galran looked speechless for a tick, then his smile returned and the blue paladin could feel a connection forming between the two, he knew now that he had earned Lotor's unwavering trust, and would do his best not to let him down.

"Move away, prince, I'm going to blast those bars to smitheroons." The other did as asked and Lance fired his bayard until there was nothing but wrecked metal on the floor, the prince stepped out and grimaced, maybe he had thought this prison was going to be his grave.

"Okay, before we go I need to tell you something, I have a companion with me, the red paladin, and you can't tell him, no matter what, who you really are." The prince gave Lance a confused stare. "Sadly, my friends are not...as understanding as I am, most of them wouldn't kill you, just...not trust you, but Red...he's impulsive and tends to shoot first and ask later. He also has some personal vendetta and hatred towards galra and Zarkon so..."

Lotor didn't look heartbroken at the revelation or anything, he just gave a nod that he understood and then spoke. "I understand, princess Allura will probably kill me before I even have the chance to explain myself, and I know others may have reasons to avoid me as well, but, won't your companion be angered that you lied to him?" He was concerned for him, this guy was too kindhearted for his own good, seriously.

"Don't worry, we are already fighting as it is, we kinda hate each other, it won't change much, I'm sure when we explain the situation he will understand." He hated lying like this, but what else could he do? If he told Keith who he was, when he attacked Lance later, Keith was going to kill him, no hesitation, he had to prevent that somehow, and this was the only way he knew how, the red paladin would probably hate him for real after this, but if he could save Lotor , protect everyone and get rid of the witch, it was worth it.

"I see, if you think that's the best course of action, I will not argue. If you need a cover story, I could say I'm with the Blade of Marmora, have you heard of them?" Lance nodded yes " Great, I founded that organization, I'm still in contact with them, I know their strategies, passwords, anything we may need to make this believable, so I will admit to being a member to your friend until we reach the princess, even if I wanted to hide from her it would be for naught, apart from my own and Allura's parents, she's the only one that knows my face." His eyes held pain when he said her name, the princess never mentioned anything about knowing Lotor, she probably thought he was dead, or had joined his father in his quest for conquest.

"Okay then, let's get going, follow me." They began the walk back, and five minutes later Keith was walking towards him, a tense look on his eyes that changed to rage when he caught sight of the galran that accompanied him. Before he could do much else than march forward, Lance had already put himself in between the prince and the red paladin, much to the annoyance of the latter, if his face was any indication.

"Lance, what the fuck?" Eloquent.

"Keith, meet L-...Loriel, he's a member of the Blade that was captured by the druids." Lance had no time for detours, he was anxious as it was without the added pressure of Keith's anger.

Keith narrowed his eyes and looked the other up and down. "Where is your blade then?" His words were cold as ice, his hand never letting go of his bayard.

"They took it away from me when I boarded the ship, I do not know where it could be." Lotor's acting skills deserved a medal, he was adaptable, it seemed.

"What about the mission? What were you doing before being captured?" Nothing was ever easy with Keith, they could be in immediate danger and he still wanted to interrogate the stranger he just met, only satisfied when all his questions were answered. Lance panicked a little, did Lotor know anyone in the blade? What if he said the name of someone that had already died like Thace? Oh man they were fucked.

"Kolivan had sent me and some others to collect supplies when we caught sight of a galran battleship carrying captives to another outpost, we tried to carry out a rescue mission, but there were druids inside, we were overwhelmed, I couldn't escape in time and they caught me, I've been trapped ever since." Lance thanked all the gods out there that he had said Kolivan's name, the Blade had left the castle to gather supplies, so they wouldn't be back for another few days at least, his story fit so well he nearly cried real tears of relief.

It seemed Keith was also feeling relieved, he sighed and relaxed his posture, never letting his guard down, but he looked more calm. "I see, I'm glad we could get to you then, they already lost Ulaz and Thace, we don't want to lose anyone else." He smiled sadly at Lotor, and the other bowed to show his appreciation, after a small talk about the situation, they began moving in the direction that Lance remembered lead to 'the room', as he dubbed it.

Once there, Lance's heart began doing somersaults inside his ribcage, he was nervous as fuck, he moved his hand trough his ribs to feel the texture of the tank top under the suit, it's weight a comforting presence in the midst of his possible demise. While he was busy trying not to die of worry Keith had already moved and hooked up Pidge's decoder to get any data the computer may had, he knew what was coming, he counted down, 5...4...3...2...1.

The sirens blared, the doors closed, enemies filled the room, he took aim and shot.

It was havoc and chaos after that.

\--

It took them a total grand of twenty minutes to defeat everyone, Lance had fought with the big burly galran soldier again, the same one that had thrown him into the pool the first time, he felt a kind of smug satisfaction for beating the shit out of him, blaming him for the entire ordeal he was going through.

Lotor and Keith fought back to back, both wielding swords, and both being terrifyingly precise and destructive in a way that captivated anyone that would gaze upon them, they dispatched their enemies quick, and when they had a breather, proceeded to share facts and tactics about swords, new moves, anything related to being more deadly than they already were.

Lance had made a terrible mistake letting them meet, he created a monster.

After every single galra, drone and sentry was defeated, Keith ran to the main frame to see if the data was being copied, he also contacted Pidge so she could report how it was going on her end. Meanwhile, he eyed Lotor sideways, the prince just stood there, his eyes closed in concentration, Lance tried to stand still, he really did, but his hands were shaking, his eyes darting around like every little thing could kill him, he was restless and frightened, this was it, from this point onwards if he fucked up he was done for, if he interacted in a different way with the galran without noticing and changed how the events unfolded....he could very well die and everything he'd done would have been for naught.

Far away, he could hear the gentle purrs of Blue and Red, both trying their best to comfort him, sending encouraging thoughts and the equivalent of mind hugs, and trying their best, even with the distance between them, to be a calming presence by his side.

Lotor finally opened his eyes, and smiled sweetly at him, there was no room for doubt anymore, he knew his plan was shit, could have thought of a better one, but he had no time, barely a few hours to stop being an anxious and panicked mess and then think of a solution to his issue. This was the best he could come up with back then, he couldn't stall, couldn't tell his team, he had to do this by himself in a few hours, and this was the result.

The prince engaged in conversation with him, sharing a few facts about his past and his parents, promising to tell him the full story when they weren't in danger anymore, Lance had earnestly agreed, willing to lend an ear so the other would finally let himself grieve for his family and his people, he deserved it. As soon as their chat ended, Lance told the galran that he was going to annoy Keith for a while, which made Lotor laugh a little with a knowing smile that still made Lance pout, he turned his back to the prince, walked two steps, and when the lions gave a loud, warning growl in the back of his mind, he threw himself to the right, did a barrell roll, and looked Lotor in the eye.

His eyes were red, the witch was here.

In the blink of an eye the red paladin stood between Lance and Lotor, looking at the galran with murder in his eyes. "What do you think you're doing?" His voice was full of anger and promises of violence and pain if his answer was not what Keith wanted to hear.

Lotor, no, Haggar just stood there, dagger in hand, expression bored, but it all changed when she laid eyes on Lance, her eyes light up and a terrifying smirk stretched her mouth impossibly wide, she looked like she had found the best toy ever, and couldn't wait to play with him, the thought made him shudder.

"Little paladin....you, your quintessence is...bright, too bright for someone of a race so inferior, what have you been doing behind the backs of your fellow paladins?" Her voice was like venom, pure darkness and malice forming sound, it was disgusting and he hated it.

"I don't know what you're talking about. Who are you and what have you done with Lo- with him?" He caught himself before he fucked up saying Lotor's name, trying not to panic at the thought that Haggar could see something wrong with his quintessence, he didn't know to which extent the voices had fucked him up, or if anyone sensitive to the stuff would perceive it, he had his answer now.

"My name is Haggar, the emperor's personal advisor, the last thing you'll see before your demise, and this inferior being? I did nothing much, he dared defy me, defy our emperor, he deserved to be taught a lesson, and I volunteered to do so." She laughed, the sound crazed and eerie, it sent chills down his spine.

"Let him go, witch!" Keith looked back at Lance, probably trying to understand the situation, he mouthed 'mind control' to the red paladin, and the other nodded and looked back to Lotor.

"And why would I do that, paladin?" She said the word paladin as if it was an offense, something dirty and disgusting that she didn't want to pronounce. Before she could do much, though, Keith's bayard swished past her and embedded itself in the wall behind her.

"Keith, be careful, he's not himself right now, we need to free him from her mind control thingy!" He got to his feet and rapidly wielded his bayard, firing a few warning shots that she evaded with infuriating ease.

"And how do you suggest we do that, uh?" This was strangely familiar, he's had this same conversation with Keith before, the second time, if he could remember the events and replay them exactly the same way, the ending he wanted to achieve would come to be.

"Just, stall him or something, I have a plan!!" Keith raised an eyebrow, skepticism all over his face, but that didn't last long, since Haggar threw a laser beam...magic beam? at him, he dodged to the left and slashed at her with all his might, doing a backflip to evade her next attack, even if Lance told him to take it easy and 'don't kill our ally, Keith', he wasn't going to be a pushover either, if he had to hurt the white haired galran to ensure their safety, he would.

Lance struggled to remember his plan from last time, the events fuzzy and out of focus, but when he eventually recalled them, he swore and cursed, wanting to weep. Last time he had appealed to Lotor's heart, his desire to make justice, to bring peace, he had used his mother's name to shock him, instead, he had startled the witch, those few precious seconds allowing him to stun her and send her away.

Problem, Lotor didn't tell him his mother's name this time, Lance had already changed things, he fucked up, he couldn't talk him out of his subdued state now, and Keith was fighting alone and losing, the witches movements quick and smooth just as Lotor's were, that, plus her magic, made for a deadly combination. He had to think fast, what else could he do without blowing Lotor's cover? Black's sudden appearance on his mindscape threw him off, he gave a tiny yelp, hoping that his companion hadn't heard it, the lion sent him a thought, like he always did, something about a flare? A burst...too much? A blue light....

He tried to piece the ideas together, and after a few seconds he understood, his eyes widening, he wanted Lance to use his quintessence, to gather his own plus that of the lions -which he could do thanks to their bond with him- and concentrate all of it in a ball, tight, about to explode, a nuclear reaction, the death of a star, the burst of a sun. His inner energy had been tinkered with by the voices, he had been given all of their life-force to fulfill their own dying wishes, if he brought together all of that energy and the lion's, then set it loose in a split second...someone as sensitive as Haggar would feel the shock-wave and receive the full impact, leaving Lance with a few seconds to stun her like before.

 _'Thanks Black'_ , the lion growled proudly before retreating, this idea was risky since Haggar would probably gain interest in him after this, wanting to know how he got so much, he had no idea how to do this, never had to think about one's energy as anything else that wasn't the blood flowing through his veins or the beating of his heart. But Keith's life was in danger, he had trusted Lance when he told him he had a plan, he was hurt and bleeding and that wasn't okay, he was aware of his quiet breaths, his heart beating to a slow rhythm, his anger and desire to just _'make her go away'_ filling his whole being.

He could feel the energy thrumming trough his bloodstream to his heart, all the way to his fingertips, he could see in his mind's eye the core of what made him _him_ , a blue shining light being mixed with red, yellow, green, black, a myriad of colors that blended together to form an iridescent orb that shrinked tighter an tighter until it was so strained that it felt like he was burning inside, pulsating, screaming, crying out to just let go.

He did.

The following burst of energies was enough to knock him off his feet, it wasn't something that could be seen by the human eye, only those susceptible to quintessence or life force would be able to see it and feel it, and oh, did Haggar fill those conditions. She stopped for a tick, her steps faltering just as she was about to blast Keith to the other side of the room, her eyes widened and he watched with glee as a gurgled scream left her lips as she received the full force of his impromptu attack, she seized and stood, not moving at all, and he took his chance, aimed at Lotor, and pulled the trigger without hesitation.

His strike found the intended target, and with a loud thud that echoed in the silence of the room, the prince's eyes rolled to the back of his head and he fell, still, no movement, but he could see his chest raising and falling, Lance slumped to the ground in relief.

"What the hell did you do?" Keith's voice reached his ears, but he felt like absolute crap, like he just ran a marathon for days without water, on a desert, barefoot and carrying a block of steel, he honestly couldn't even raise his head to look the other in the eye, so he just sat on the cold metal floor and let Keith reach whatever conclusion he wanted.

"Lance? Hey say something, you're creeping me out." He heard footsteps, the red paladin was probably approaching him and he sounded concerned, which made Lance feel guilty (again), so he collected what little energy he had left and staggering like a newborn child, got to his feet.

He raised his head to see that the other paladin was indeed getting near, his brows were furrowed and his mouth was parted like he was going to question Lance again, but all of that was quickly forgotten when he saw the shadow of Lotor's body rising from behind Keith. In the intensity of the previous moment he hadn't remembered that with the shock of his bayard, Haggar didn't go down the first time, she was aiming her laser gun, he saw it as if in slow motion, she pointed up up, the barrel of the weapon lined with Lance's sight, and with a flick of her wrist she aimed to the right and fired.

Right at Keith.

Lance barely had time to react _(Red was screaming in his mind)_ , but his reflexes were fast, his legs long and swift, with an abrupt motion he lunged at the red paladin, the others eyes filled with confusion, he caught him by the forearms and sharply turned him around, holding him tight to his chest. The shot felt like a burning inferno on his back, he was vaguely aware of his own scream as his knees gave out and he fell, his heart beating wildly inside his ribcage.

"Game over paladin, I win." Haggar's voice echoed in his ears as it faded away, and he heard a thud that signaled that she had left the prince's body, it was done, he had won, now if only he could concentrate on breathing like a normal person and stop writhing, that would be _great._

"Lance! Lance! Talk to me! Shit! What do I do?!" Keith's hands were on his shoulders now, he was cradling him, mindful of his back, trying to get him to react in any way. "Pidge, Pidge! Lance is hurt, he has- no, I don't know if- yes, yes I can do that, roger, we'll wait here." It seemed a conversation was taking place between his friends, but his ears couldn't catch what they were saying, it was weird, like everything was muted besides Keith's voice.

He needed to relieve the tension somehow, panicking would do the other no good, besides, he came prepared, he just had to get a grip, he was _fine_ , _(growls bounced around in his brain)_ , he just needed a second, a second that didn't seem like Keith was willing to give him, since he laid him down with his chest to the floor, and proceeded to take off his armor.

"Are we....having another...bonding moment?" He asked, laugh bubbling inside his chest, he heard an exasperated, but relieved sigh above him, and the hands on his back stilled.

"Lance, fuck, you scared me, what the hell were you thinking?" Ahhh, so he was mad, when the red paladin got like this, there was nothing anyone could do to calm him down.

"Sorry dude..can't have our temporary leader...dying until we find Shiro, you know?" He giggled a little, and could imagine the roll of eyes and 'god give me patience' expression the other was probably wearing.

"It was really dangerous, Lance, this is no laughing matter, you could have died, and how do you think I would have felt afterwards uh? I still don't know if you're bleeding internally or..or something as we speak." He felt Keith's hands tremble as he took off his breastplate and undid the zipper on the back of the suit, probably expecting a gruesome sight.

"I didn't do it recklessly, if that's what you're implying. Look at my armor, Coran made it for me because I told him the scars on my back were bothering me, it's sturdier and harder than the older ones, so I knew it would withstand at least a laser." He took a deep breath, aside from a mild discomfort on his back, and a few bruised ribs, nothing felt out of place, he didn't feel like he was dying.

He was lying trough his teeth to the other, even if he had his usual armor, even if he hadn't created that laserproof tank top,even if he knew he would have died, he would have still jumped in between the red paladin and the blast without an ounce of doubt.

The hands on his back stilled, and finally Lance craned his head to look at the other, Keith's eyes were wide and he was biting his lip, he raised an eyebrow and carefully touched his shoulder blades, it stung a little, and felt cramped, but nothing he couldn't take.

"This...there's nothing, no blood, no damage...I can't see your back but it looks fine?-he ran his hands trough the fabric- What he fuck is this shirt you're wearing? The texture feels....rough, it reminds me of the vests we had back at the Garrison." He narrowed his eyes.

Lance was going to bullshit his way out of this even if it was the last thing he did "I dunno, it was in my closet, it was pink, and when I put it on it made me look hot, so I decided to wear it, it was next to some old armor and it looked cool so."

"It feels exactly like the bulletproof vests we had back then, I remember from when we did rescue drills...if this is the same, you're really lucky you decided to wear this today, if not...I don't want to think what would have happened."The red paladin sounded annoyed and tired, like he just wanted this to be over and go take a nap, Lance could relate.

Motioning for Keith to help him put his armor back on, Lance pushed himself off the floor, a bit dizzy but otherwise fine, and sat there looking around, Lotor was still laying where they left him, breathing slowly and unconscious, the computer had been beeping for a while signaling that the data had been copied, and the room was still a mess of destroyed drones and sentries.

He noted with mild alarm that his comms had been going crazy from the moment they had heard his scream, Pidge was barking orders at Hunk, and his best friend was trying to get Lance's attention, telling him to hold on and the like. From within the castle, Allura's and Coran's voices asked for updates on the situation and Lance's wellbeing, it seemed he had been really out of it because he didn't catch anything they were saying until now, and they weren't being quiet at all, he must have been really messed up.

"Guys, guys!!! Calm down!" The noises stopped and he blew out a puff of air "I'm fine, Keith was just exaggerating, it's not like I was dying or anything." Keith shot him a murderous glare, but he ignored it in favor of calming down his teammates.

"Bullshit Lance! I heard his voice, he wasn't fucking around, he was scared, Keith wouldn't fake or exaggerate something like this.!" Pidge was right, of course, the red paladin would never play around when lives were at stake, but he needed them to focus on finishing up the mission and getting out of here, he was still paranoid that something could go wrong.

"Yeah man, we were terrified that you were dying, we were freaked out." Hunk's voice was sweet, but he held an edge of fear and anger that made him feel guilty for worrying them, but it was okay, he'd survived this time, his stupid plan worked out, now they just needed to get back to the castle, to safety, and he could finally rest.

"I'm sorry...it looked really bad, but I had a stroke of luck, like I always do, and even though I'm sore as fuck and probably bruised, I'll live." A group of relieved sighs echoed through his helmet, and he tried not to smile, but it was impossible, it looked like he worried everyone, he'd have to make it up to them.

"Okay, so now that that's out of the way, what should we do now?" Keith looked annoyed and like he wanted to strangle Lance, had remained silent through the previous exchange to avoid that, probably. The red paladin closed his eyes, breathed in deep and began giving out instructions to the others, Pidge and Hunk had the data they needed, the green paladin was excited because she thought she had found a clue on Shiro, they were told to program the ship to self-destruct, they fervently agreed after Keith explained to them just what it was used for.

Meanwhile Keith and himself were supposed to take Loriel (Lotor) and haul their asses to Black while Red flew herself back to the castle, now that the lions were mentioned, they were kinda happy, purring softly as to not annoy him, they sent him waves of contentment and pride, and it made him blush slightly, they were spoiling him rotten, the giant furballs.

With great effort he got up from the floor, his legs felt like jelly and he had a big ass headache right now, it was uncomfortable, a pulsing pain behind his eyes that was constant and never ending. He felt like he could fall over anytime and realized he would have done so if Keith's hands hadn't found him and supported him, his grip was tight, too much strength put into it, and he fixed Lance with a stern look.

"I'm not sure you should be walking, Lance" Keith chided.

"Well, I don't think you can carry silver over there and myself at the same time, so I'll have to walk, I'll go slow if I have to, no worries." Trying to ease the other's worries was having the opposite effect, his brows were knit together, his mouth upturned. He finally nodded, seeing as they didn't have another choice, with all the energy he could muster, Lance helped put Lotor on Keith's back, the prince still unconscious but seemingly healthy.

When he was done, he ran as fast as he could and took the data they had decoded from the ships database, then, with help from Pidge he set the self destruction timer and proceeded to run out of the room. The red paladin motioned with a tilt of his head to follow his lead, and Lance ran after him knowing the other remembered the way out better than Lance and his scrambled brain could, it took them about five minutes to find the exit, and since they didn't have to worry about stealth anymore, Black came barging in trough the wall (something he probably learnt from Red), his thoughts protective and fierce, he wanted them out and in the safety of the cockpit where he could keep an eye on them, his paladins tended to disappear, and he didn't want that to happen again.

As soon as they were inside, Keith contacted Pidge and Hunk and they confirmed they were out of range of the explosion and flying towards the castleship, Lotor had been laid down on the floor, with Lance quietly looking over him. While he was mesmerized gazing at the prince's luscious white hair, reality slammed into him like a truck at full speed, a rush of emotions running him over and leaving him trying to remember how to breathe, it was over...he'd done it, he saved him, protected Lotor, the witch was gone (for now), he was alive, Keith was alive, everyone was okay, he won.

Fuck you, universe, McLain wins this round.

Feeling totally relieved and at complete ease, his adrenaline levels hit a rapid zero and he slumped on the wall next to Lotor, everything was suddenly fuzzy and out of focus, he couldn't lift his arms even if he tried, his breaths were slow and long, and he couldn't follow a thought for the life of him. He came back to reality briefly to see Keith hovering over him, hands lifting his face and trying to get his attention, his hands felt cool and comforting on his heated skin, the inside of Black was really warm, for some reason.

The lion send him an image, which after a few minutes he translated to overexertion, that made sense, he spent too much energy so now he was tired, he was sure he was going to feel this in the morning, not that he regretted the events that lead him to this point.

"Hey, hey, what is it? Are you okay?" Keith's voice managed to reach his mind.

"Uhmmm, fine." He slurred his words, his mouth was working as well as the rest of his body, that's to say, it wasn't.

"Yeah, no, I don't believe that, you're going right into a healing pod as soon as we get back." Those words had some effect on him and he low key panicked, he couldn't get into a pod, those things displayed their vitals, their life-force, their quintessence, if he got into one, would it show how fucked up he really was? Would it consider him human anymore? What would the readings say? He had too much, nobody except Zarkon was supposed to have so much, would they think him a traitor? Would they call him a monster? What if they asked how it happened, or why? His brain couldn't keep up with his frenzied thoughts.

He couldn't do this, not now, he would think more about this lately, when he wasn't on the verge of unconsciousness, but right now his top priority was avoiding the pods, he wasn't above crying or even begging at this point, he'll feel ashamed later.

"No, no pods...." He tried to hold Keith's wrist, but it was in vain.

"You dont have a choice Lance, you're hurt, and even thought I don't see anything visible you could have internal damage, I'm not risking it.

"No..please...Keith..." He began crying softly, images of his team being disgusted and scared of him filling his mind, his friends abandoning him and being wary in his presence, no way to explain, no way to make things right.

"Lance..." The red paladin's hands wiped the tears away, his features concerned and his gaze soft "Hey, it's okay, you're scared of pods yeah? Because of Sendak?" Lance tilted his head, his assumption wasn't right, but it would serve it's purpose so he nodded, still weeping. "Okay then, no pods, I understand, it's normal, it was scary, we'll look you over and if it's not absolutely necessary, we won't put you on a pod, deal?" He nodded again, or he thought he did, his brain wasn't sending the right signals to his body, so he wasn't sure if he even moved.

"Promise...?" He asked in a small voice, hoping that Keith would keep his part of the deal no matter how delirious Lance was.

"I promise." Those words filled with determination were all he needed to relax completely and let himself fall into the black abyss of unconsciousness.

\--

The first thing he felt upon waking up was the softness of a blanket enveloping him, he was laying on his side, his face smothered on his pillow and his clothes felt soft and clean, a complete opossite to the sweaty and dirty armor he had been wearing before. He felt tired and sore, bruised maybe and totally drained, enough that he didn't want to open his eyes and just go back to sleep, it was so comfortable...he was like a space burrito, all cocooned and warm...

...

...?

With a gasp he shot up like a spring, his left hand feeling the night table, searching for the item he needed, _'where the fuck is that space clock when you need it?'_ , he was anxious and mildly terrified, couldn't shake the idea that maybe he had died again, maybe ha had imagined everything, maybe he was more hurt than he thought and died inside black, it made him sick to his stomach.

His eyes roamed over his room and he finally found the clock, with shaking legs he quickly got up, nearly falling on his face twice, and walked over to the desk where his clock was, he reached for it with trembling hands, sweating up a storm, he held it, his grip thight, and finally gathered his courage and flipped it around.

...

It read 7:03 AM, Day 180 of Voltron.

A ticking sound was heard, a breath hitched, a hum rumbled in the background.

He cried.

He slumped to the ground, holding the device to his chest and sobbed, gasping and wheezing, coughing in between, it was ungraceful and messy, but he didn't care, he was so relieved, so happy, he did it, he , against all odds, managed to survive, he protected Lotor, he fulfilled his mission, everything was good.

He took a few minutes to calm himself, trembling hands runing through his hair, he tried to take it all in, noticed how someone had changed him to his pajamas, no longer wearing his tank top or armor, his face and body in general didn't feel dirty with dried sweat, so someone had gone through the trouble of cleaning him up, which he greatly appreciated.

His tears had dried and he felt relaxed and content, it had been a long time since he felt like this, he touched his back, or tried to, because his joints ached and his muscles were cramping every now and then. He felt a bump underneath his shirt, long and all the way across his torso, some bandages, probably, even if he hadn't gotten extremely hurt, he must have gained a few bruised ribs or something, not pretty, but he could deal with it, it beat being dead, that's for sure.

As he was pondering if he wanted to get up or go back to sleep again, his door opened abruptly, a whirring sound echoing in the stillness of the hallway. Standing there, gaze cold and hands clenched into fists was Keith, who looked at Lance with eyes so full of anger it seemed he was going to murder him any second now.

"Get dressed, Allura wants you in the control room." His voice was filled with venom, his tone hard and uncaring, it froze Lance on the spot and sent chills down his spine. Without saying anything else he stalked out of the room, the force of his footsteps resounding trough the walls, Lance was left there on the floor, staring fearfully at the spot the red paladin had been occupying, he knew that what he did was going to come back to haunt him, he just didn't think it would be so soon.

If someone had looked inside his mind right now, they would have found only one thought written in caps, colored in bright blue neon and lighting up every few seconds.

_'Shit.'_

 

 


	4. Aftermath

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just when he thought things were getting better, they take a turn for the worst, Lance has to deal with the consequences of his actions, and understand that from his teammate's point of view, things don't look the same, and the bonds that once united them, now lay broken, filled with mistrust.
> 
> His frienship with Lotor blooms, the prince's understanding and kind nature helping him heal, albeit slowly, while his relationships with his friends seem to wither, falling apart, and he finds an unlikely ally that helps him move on, giving him new determination to succeed.
> 
> Later, a trip to a desserted ice planet has them finding something they didn't expect and he is left with the feeling that something is not quite right, a sense of foreboding and impeding doom falling over him.
> 
> That was just the beginning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooooo, here I am!! A month later, to give you an update, I'm sad to say, this chapter is mostly transitional, the one that bridges Arc I with Arc II, this chapter is mostly Lance's interactions with everyone, and what happens when you don't think things through, with the seconc arc beginning at the end.
> 
> I'm sorry fot the lack of action/plot, though, don't kill me please. To make up for it, i'll try to update the next chaper sooner, maybe in two or three weeks. Still, even with it being slow, I hope everyone enjoy this chapter, as always, thanks to everyone that commented ( i love you guys), left kudos, suscribed, bookmarked, or just took the time to read this fic!
> 
> You guys are the best and what keeps me writing.
> 
> Bye bye.   
> Love, ULTI<3

* * *

Slumped on the floor, mind a mushy mess and thoughts into overdrive, he tried to process what just happened, and reached the logical conclusion that they found out the truth about Lotor. Lance was unconscious when they arrived at the castle, the other paladins, and probably Coran, must have come to help bring them to the medical bay, and then they saw the white haired galran, maybe Keith explained that he was a member of the Blade and about the mind control...but...

If Allura joined them and saw the galran prince...it must not have been pretty, he didn't know what events took place, if there was a discussion, if they had imprisoned or _worse_ , killed Lotor, if the prince had told them the truth or kept on lying...but one thing was certain, they knew Lance had been involved into saving the prince and keeping the charade up, he had lied to everyone, and now he'll have to deal with the consequences.

He got to his feet, trembling slightly, he wasn't good at confrontation, it made him anxious and jittery, and he couldn't get out of his head the way the red paladin had looked at him, like he was the most despicable thing to ever exist, like he was a dirty traitor, like he....hated him, and it was real hate this time, not the fake playful one they usually shared.

He had to make things right, explain to them what happened, why he took the decisions he did, he wasn't acting on impulse, he knew Lotor was good, would become the best ally they could find, he didn't know exactly how he was going to explain to them all this without revealing his... _problem_ , but they needed to know Lance was thinking of the team, of their mission, of the future. He was thinking like a paladin, and decided that the best course of action was taking the prince with them, the only reason he lied to Keith was because he knew the other had a personal vendetta with the galra, he was impulsive and reckless, he would have shot first and asked questions later, and that wasn't something they had the luxury of wasting time on.

With still trembling hands and feeling like he was going to puke at any moment, he slipped out of his pajamas and dressed in his normal clothes, his jacket giving him a sense of comfort and warmth, he gathered all the courage he could muster -which wasn't much but- and tried to get ready for what was to come, he straightened his back, held his chin up, and strided to the control room with all the confidence he could muster, even if it was fake.

That confidence didn't last, as soon as the door to the control room opened, all eyes were on him, and he felt himself begin to sweat through his shirt, his hands wringing the sleeves of his jacket in an attempt to stay calm, it didn't work.

He gazed nervously at all his teammates and noted their stares, all of them filled with varying degrees of disappointment, it made him feel small and vulnerable, made him hunch his shoulders and avert his eyes, he hated it.

"Lance, nice of you to join us." Allura's voice was colder than ever, her sarcasm ever present, she had her arms crossed over her chest, eyes narrowed and fingers tapping her forearm in a nervous habit, she was grinding her teeth, trying her best not to sneer.

"Maybe now would be a good time for you to _explain_ to us just what the quiznack you were thinking." It didn't sound like a request but more like an order, and her tone indicated that if he dared disobey, he was going to regret it. Either he gave her the right answer, or he was going to lose her trust and respect. She probably wanted to hear some good reasons as to why he choose to lie, to keep the prince's identity a secret, but what reasons could he give that didn't sound empty?

He couldn't tell them about his situation right now, couldn't find anything to say that didn't sound like _'He looked like a good guy'_ or _'He said he wasn't evil'_ , because people lie, and as a paladin, he couldn't be so naive to just believe what he was told.

He was at an impasse.

He raised his head slowly, feeling apprehensive, and noticed for the first time that Lotor was in the room too, he stood to Allura's left, a few feet of distance between them, he was gazing at Lance with pity and guilt, opening his mouth as if to say something, but closing it when the princess glared at him, her stare burning and fierce. To the right stood Coran, who looked worried as heck, like he wanted to reach him but couldn't act against the princess wishes, Hunk was standing close to the altean man, his friend was wringing his hands on his vest as his eyes darted everywhere but at Lance, and to his right was Pidge, she had her arms crossed and her expression was somber, dark, like she couldn't even bear the thought of being in the same room as him, just the thought of it stung.

He opened his mouth, trying to justify himself, he knew it was going to sound stupid, like he acted on impulse and without reason, but he had to say something, he couldn't just let them think that he was so fickle as to act without considering the dangers of the situation.

"Look guys, I know this doesn't look good from your point of view, but I didn't just act without thinking, I promise you that." Everyone stared at him, urging him to go on, their gazes held the hope that maybe he was going to say something that redeemed his actions, that he hadn't just thrown himself headfirst into the situation without thinking or decided things on a whim, and knowing that he couldn't fulfill that hope made him want to crawl into a hole and disappear.

"I talked to him, alright, he explained a bit of the situation to me, he was captive, left to rot in that cell, it was obvious he wasn't with the bad guys." Allura's stare was boring holes into him, she watched him with a touch of incredulity and even more fury, if that was even possible, like she couldn't believe he was being serious.

"I knew I could trust him, okay? My instincts are never wrong, I knew he was gonna be an important ally in our fight against Zarkon, and whatever information he could share would be useful to us." Hunk and Pidge looked doubtful, like those weren't enough reasons for the farce they had played out, it wasn't, but what else could he give them? Voicing his _problem_ was out of the question, they would think he was mad, or just making it up, he was so lost, didn't know what else to do, he was desperate.

" I mean, who could know more about Zarkon that his only son, yeah? I just wanted to help out, guys, you have to underst-." Abruptly the voice he was dreading to hear shouted from behind, making him jump and pale rapidly, he wasn't ready for this, please, not now, not in front of everyone.

"So this is about you wanting to be a hero again?" Keith was standing behind him, shoulders tense, mouth set on a snarl that showed his teeth, he was clenching his fists so hard, he was drawing blood.

"Keith, listen-" He tried to reason, to at least buy some time to put his thoughts in order, but it was in vain, the red paladin was not going to stop until he got his point across.

"How could you lie about something as important as this? Do you realize how reckless and risky what you did was?" Keith's eyes were full of anger and glinted yellow in the bright lights of the room, it made Lance want to run away, froze him to the spot and made his blood run cold. But it ignited again when the words of the red paladin finally registered in his mind, with no other way to retaliate, he got defensive.

"Who the hell do _you_ think you are to talk to me about risks and recklessness? You are the first one that goes head first into danger without caring about anything else!" He was shouting now too, couldn't control his emotions at all, that's why he didn't want to do this now, his brain wasn't working correctly, he was still tired and sore and he knew he was prone to outbursts, to say things he didn't mean. The words would slip past his lips without his consent, his brain to mouth filter gone, if he was nervous and felt cornered, he shouted, it was a defense mechanism, he couldn't help it...he just... Keith didn't have the _right_ to treat him like this, it was the pot calling the kettle back, it infuriated him.

"That's different!! When I throw myself into the heat of battle I'm only risking my own life! You put in danger not only your own, but everyone's lives with that stupid stunt you pulled!" The red paladin didn't even let him talk, he barely took a breath and was screaming at him again.

"You didn't even talk to me about it!! You just took the decision without consulting me, or anyone on the team! Are you really that petty that you'd put everyone at risk for a chance of being the one that saves the day? For being the center of attention? We all knew you wanted to be the leader, but you crossed the line! You even told him about Kolivan and the Blade to make his story more believable! That's classified for a reason!" The red paladin was shaking, his whole body trembling with uncontrollable fury.

"Wha-? No! It wasn't because of-I'm not so _selfish_ that-I didn't tell him anything about The Blade! That part was true!" He knew he fucked up as soon as the words left his lips.

"Oh, so that part was _true_ uh? What else is not a _lie_ then? Because his name sure as hell is, as well as his identity and everything else!"

"Just let me expla-"

"Did you even stop to think about what you were doing? He could have been evil, he could have been in league with Haggar to infiltrate Voltron and take us out from the inside! Do you have any idea how I felt when Allura strided in and tried to strangle Lotor? When she told me who he really was? I carried him back, thinking him an ally, a friend, someone I could trust because I believed in your judgement!! Just to learn that he was the son of our enemy, he could have killed everyone, it would've been my fault and I wouldn't have even known _why_!! Because you took that decision for me!" Keith was panting now, his face red, eyes wild and expression feral, Lance wanted nothing more than to stop this, he was close to breaking, his eyes watering and lips trembling.

"He wasn't going to hurt anyone! I wouldn't have let you bring him to the castle otherwise!"

"I can't believe you! What proof did you even had? A feeling? Intuition? You would risk the safety of the team, the integrity of our mission, Voltron and even Allura!!" Lance flinched at that " And for what? To get back at me? To one up me with knowledge I knew nothing about? To extract revenge over some stupid fight we had?" His gaze was furious, his body trembling as if he was physically holding himself back from hurting Lance, he looked ready to murder, and for the first time since knowing the other, Lance was terrified of him.

But he was also getting irritated, mind a mess, too many emotions swirling around and moulding together, no way to discernish how he felt, until one of them got to the forefront of his melting brain and stayed: **anger** , his old grudge and long forgotten hate came back for a tick, filling him to the brim with frustration, because why couldn't Keith just _listen_?

"The universe doesn't revolve only around you Kogane, stop thinking everything I do comes back to _you_ , I didn't care about the fight anymore, the only reason I lied to you was because you shoot first and ask questions later, because you wouldn't have listened, just like you're doing now." Lance didn't shout then, his voice was cold and hard, never before had he heard his own voice take on that tone, but he'd had enough, Keith needed to understand.

"So it's just because you hate me, I see how it is" He was seething now, his voice back to the cold imperturbable tone that meant he was done, without respite, no chance to fight back, the red paladin continued his assault.

"Like always, you just wanted attention, wanted everyone to praise you for a job well done, didn't you? _'Look here, I got prince Lotor and Keith didn't even know, oh what a bad leader he is...'_ , yeah, is that what you wanted? A parade for your fucking efforts?"

"It was never about that at all!! How can you even think I would be so childish to-" He couldn't think, couldn't breath.

"I don't want to heart it!! You acted on your own without even talking to anyone first, you risked everyone's lives, you were brash, you weren't thinking about us and you sure as hell weren't thinking like a paladin!!" That stung more than he liked to admit and he heard the sound of something inside himself breaking, torn into a million pieces, never to be whole again.

"I...just..." _'I just...wanted to protect you all'._

"You are not our teammate...you are no warrior of Voltron."

He left without another word.

Everything was a blur after that, Allura was shouting, telling him to explain himself as she marched towards him, someone intervened and was trying to talk to him, probably Hunk or Coran, wanted him to share his version of the story, but he didn't care at the moment, he turned around and left.

He caught Lotor's gaze for a split second, the prince's eyes relaying that he would do everything in his power to make things right, Lance didn't think there was a point anymore, they had already decided that he had been in the wrong, acted impulsive and hasty, they had judged him, declared him guilty, imprisoned him and threw away the key, he was alone.

He ran to his room as fast as he could and closed the door, he fell to his knees and tugged at his hair, it hurt but he could barely feel it, he was going to make things right with Keith, was going to be better, to apologize....now he was back to square one...No, he was even worse off....the red palaldin loathed him now, thought that he doubted his leadership and capabilities, that he didn't trust him, that he wanted to one up him, that everything he did was to spite the other...thought that Lance hated him.

He felt hollow.

On the back of his mind Red was torn between comforting him or Keith, and even in his unstable state, he was able to tell her not to worry and to go to her palaldin, he would be alright, he would be... the other lions were whining sadly, trying in vain to work out ways to reassure him, make him better, but there was nothing they could do right now, so he asked for the lions to leave his mind altogether, and they agreed, thought reluctant to do so.

After they were gone, a big empty void was left, and it hurt, like a part of him had been forcefully removed, but he wasn't done yet, he built up walls, sturdy, hard, unbreakable, he blocked out Pidge, Hunk, Keith, Allura....Shiro....everyone from Voltron, he pushed them out with a shove as his mind became an empty space, silence echoing in every crevice.

Finally, being completely and truly alone since the first time they formed Voltron, he broke.

He screamed and wept, cried and scratched his tights, tugged at his hair, bit his nails and lip, held onto anything close and ripped it apart, he let out all the grief, frustration and sadness he felt, he was mourning, he lost the red paladin's friendship and trust, any respect he had for Lance was destroyed, it was for real and final this time, they were over, and it was all his fault.

He sobbed, tears and snot coating his face and making him feel disgusted, he punched the floor, kicked the walls, tore his sheets, threw his clock and any other hard objects at the walls, watched in satisfaction as they broke into tiny little pieces just like his heart had. Breathing was difficult and he slided to the floor, hand clutching his chest, his vision swam and blurred, at some point he thought that someone had been banging on his door, screaming, but it must have been wishful thinking, no one trusted him now, no one would come check up on him.

He was getting dizzy, wheezing and coughing, he couldn't keep his eyes open, and with no real reason to keep fighting to stay awake, he gave up, and fell.

\--

He woke up six hours later with a killer headache and the realization that his voice was wrecked, his throat hurt too much to even try to talk, it must have been when he had his...mini mental breakdown. He felt better now, still sad, hollow and devoid of energy, but sooner or later he'll have to deal with everything, and he was never good at waiting.

About to get up, he realized that he was, in fact, tucked inside his bed, he couldn't remember getting in, knew he fainted on the floor, maybe Hunk or Coran had come and dropped him into the bed? He couldn't think of anyone else that would care to check on him right now.

The previous events were still fresh on his mind, he knew he'd fucked up badly, but how could he ever tell them that everything he'd ever done was to protect them? Allura was just beginning to trust and rely on him, same as Keith....that was forever lost, the princess would probably never fully have faith in him again, the smile he received from her when they planned the rescue on Horaxia was not going to repeat, and Keith....

He lost Keith, any friendship, camaraderie or partnership they had, no matter how small, had disintegrated in the wake of his lie, now they were nothing but strangers, they would look at each other in the hallways and he would most likely receive a glare, the red paladin would ignore him in any way possible, would distance himself from Lance until they were barely aware of the other's presence.

It hurt to think about.

Shaking his head he headed to the bathroom and took a hot shower, it helped ease the tension on his muscles and relax his mind, though he didn't waste a lot of time, if he did he would lose his nerve and stay in his room until Voltron was needed, he didn't even want to think about how trying to form Voltron would go at the present moment, it would just give him more stress that he didn't need right now.

Looking at his reflection, he noticed the bags under his eyes, they were dark and made him look sick, his eyes were red from crying so much and his brows were frozen on a perpetual frown. He tried to smile, to lift the corners of his mouth even if it was fake, and noticed with growing horror that he couldn't, every time he as much as worked his mouth into a semblance of a grin, his eyes watered and he wanted to cry, a wave of grief hitting him right on his gut.

He had never had this problem before, he could always fake being happy, no matter what happened, no matter how hurt he was or how depressed he felt, he could always light up a room with his smile, could lift everyone's spirits with a joke or a pick up line, apart from being the sharpshooter and strategizing, that was the only thing he was good at.

And now he lost that too.

A sorrowful thought flowed into his mess of a brain, it came from all the lions, bits of words and letters they had taken from others, all pulled together in a cacophony of distorted sounds that formed a phrase, _'You can't fake a smile when there's no one you want to fake it for'_ , it made Lance realize just how lonely he felt, and a tear slipped down his cheek, because they were right, he faked his smiles for his team, to cheer them up, to keep the atmosphere light and playful, but who was he going to smile for now? His friends were disappointed in him, would probably avoid him from now on, Keith and Allura despised him....what was the point in staying upbeat when there was no one to comfort?

He felt a part of himself wither.

With all the energy he could muster he dressed into his usual clothes,- not one for change, he liked following a routine, it made everything easier- and walked out of his room before stopping, Keith's room was just a few feet to his right, if he wasn't careful they could pass each other in the hallways, and he wouldn't be able to take the utter disdain and repulsion in the other's gaze, it would widen the cracks on his heart and break him completely.

He'll have to ask Coran for a new room , maybe one that had a big window to look at the stars, a room far away from his teammates so they wouldn't hear him cry at night, unknowingly, his feet took him to the control room, he heard talking going on inside, Allura's voice distinguishable even when muffled. He hesitated, he was scared of what she was going to say, of what she thought of him now, if she would call him a coward for running away earlier and not facing the aftermath of the mess he created, if she would kick him out of the team for acting without his leader's input and endangering everyone.

He hoped his fears were unfounded.

Breathing in deep he put his hand on the panel and the door opened, the voices stopping immediately, when he dared look up, Lotor and Allura stared back at him, the prince had a sad smile on his face, like he was happy to see him, but would have preferred the circumstances were different, and then there was the princess. She looked at him like he was a stranger, like she wasn't piloting _his Blue_ , like they hadn't bonded or had been friends for over half a year, she looked at him like she didn't know him.

"Lance." Her voice didn't hold any kind of emotion, her tone was purely professional, like she was on a diplomatic mission and couldn't be bothered to be friendly, it made him want to weep.

"Since you're finally awake, maybe this time, instead of running -he flinched- you can explain to me what happened on the ship were you found Lotor." Said prince approached Lance and put his hand comfortingly on his shoulder, giving a small squeeze, he crouched down a little to whisper something in Lance's ear.

"Remember the story I told you about my parents? When we were going to the room with the data? -he nodded- Use that, I'll cover you." Lotor straightened, but stood side by side with Lance, giving him moral support, the prince couldn't even imagine how much Lance appreciated it right now. This was going to be tricky, he'll have to use the facts that the prince shared with him to construct a story without letting out the info he knew from _before_ , if he fucked up, well....he didn't want to think about that.

"Princess, let me begin with an apology." He took a deep breath and mentally steeled himself "I'm sorry I acted without telling anyone and made you feel like I didn't value you guys or your opinion." Allura was listening intently to him, her expression never wavering, he got ready to be pummeled into the ground for what he was about to say next.

"I may regret the way I decided to go about things...but I don't regret what I did-her frown deepened- and given the chance, I would do it again without hesitation." She opened her mouth before closing it again, she looked like she wanted to tear him a new one, but for the sake of finding out what lead him to make such reckless decisions, she held back. He was kinda glad she did, she could fulminate him in a tick if she wanted to, the princess was strong.

"When I found Lotor, he was alone, he was pondering what would become of him now that he was trapped without any way of escape, -the prince nodded in affirmation- he asked me why I would save a _galra_ , someone I was supposed to despise, and I told him Voltron makes no distinctions, lives are lives, anyone deserves to be safe no matter their race, I told him Voltron is about kindness, companionship and _trust_." Allura lowered her gaze briefly, her calm façade wavering for a second before coming back full force, she crossed her arms and motioned for him to continue.

"He shared some things with me, told me how he was kept alive for a long time, how he founded the Blade, and about his parents." He was going to have to stop here, this time, unlike _before_ , the prince had shared with Lance that he'd been alive for over ten thousand years, and that he'd created the Blade and knew all their movements, passwords and such, he talked about his parents, but the facts he mentioned were really nothing worth sharing, nothing that could add to his reasons for acting solo, Lotor was going to have to save his butt.

"It is true -the princess turned to look at him-, I had always wanted to meet the paladins of the mighty Voltron, so when the paladin of Blue offered to rescue me, I couldn't help but share a part of my past, call it loneliness if you will, but for me, it was hard to find someone in which I could confide." Allura's glare would have scared even the bravest of warriors, but Lotor seemed immune to it, like he was accustomed or expected it, but at least she wasn't actively trying to kill him, which was a good sign in Lance's book.

"I told him how I spent my days cooped up in the castle because of my sickly complexion, how my mother, Honerva, just disappeared one day without a trace, how my father fell into madness when Daibazaal had to be destroyed, how he obliterated Altea and all it's adjoining planets, and how the druid Haggar kept me alive with her dark magic." The prince's eyes held such sadness, that all Lance wanted to do was hug him, he felt bad for making him relive his past, he didn't mean to make him suffer. A hand on his shoulder made it known that it was okay, it was his decision, he didn't have to feel guilty. And as his eyes found Lotor's, a barely noticeable smile settled on his lips, some of his confidence returning to him.

"Yeah, he told me me what he knew about the Blade, intel and data that no one but Kolivan and the true members would know about." This time the princess interceded, her hands clenched at her sides.

"And you didn't think that maybe he had snuck into the organization and stole the data? He could've been a spy, lying to you to get to Voltron, that's not a good enough reason to justify yourself, Lance." He bit his lip, of course the princess wasn't going to be satisfied with something so vague, and she was right to, he could have been infiltrated on Kolivan's ranks, stole the info he needed and then played the part of the victim, it wasn't hard to imagine.

"I thought about it, yes, but I also know that Kolivan is paranoid, they must have done some research on Zarkon, and I'm sure they found out he had a son. I'm willing to bet that they knew about Lotor, and if he had presented himself on the Blade for a chance to join, I'm sure they'd have recognized him at first glance." That seemed reasonable, still not a solid argument, but he hoped the princess understood why it was so important for him to make the white haired galran their ally, she was a tactician, she had to know how valuable his presence and knowledge would be in the future fights with Zarkon's forces.

She still looked doubtful, her gaze averted from him and fingers tapping her forearm in a repetitive motion. "Look, I know it sounds like I whine and I'm being immature when I say this, but the reason I didn't tell Keith -his breath hitched a little- who he really was, is because he's driven by impulse and spur of the moment feelings." She was staring at him in wonder and maybe a tad of annoyance, like pointing out Keith's faults was a way to divert attention from himself, to excuse his actions, but it wasn't, they were just facts.

"I'm not saying it's a bad thing, they are some of the qualities that made Red choose him, but sometimes his...rashness doesn't have the best results, and you know how he feels about being half galra...he would have hurt or killed Lotor if I told him he was the son of Zarkon, you know this as well as I do, in the situation we were in, with no idea what was happening inside the ship, he was our best bet at getting out alive, I felt like I didn't have a choice." The princess regarded him with a guarded look, her mouth a thin line and posture rigid, he knew she didn't want to agree with him, didn't want to admit that he had a point, Keith wasn't a bad leader, he was actually really good and was trying his best, but sometimes his fire burned too bright, and it left Lance to deal with the aftermath of his temerity.

"I see your point, I kind of understand what you're trying to say, but, there were so many things that could have gone wrong, you do realize that, don't you?" Her voice was that of someone that carried the weight of a thousand lives on her shoulders, she knew better than anyone how painful it was to make difficult decisions regarding others, how a little mistake could destroy all your hard work and endanger the people you were trying to protect. She wasn't saying this lightly, she always had to think about all the possible scenarios and outcomes on every situation, and the ones for Lance's choice could have ended in disaster.

"I did, I really did, but I needed to take the risk, I had a gut feeling -she opened her mouth, her brows furrowed, but he held up a hand to stop her- I know you think that was my way of telling you guys that I sort of 'winged it', but I was being serious. The Black lion had a deep bond with Zarkon, was still connected even when Shiro became his paladin, do you think he would have felt nothing in the presence of his flesh and blood?" Allura looked uncertain, her bond with the lions had never been as strong as Lance's was, she probably didn't know the answer to that.

Lance was being half sincere this time, it was true that the lions felt something, it wasn't as powerful or specific as he made it up to be, but it was there, and the lions were sending him a constant stream of thoughts that said it was okay to use them as a crutch for his tale, that they understood, and it was the truth, only they knew.

"When we found him, the lions had all the same feeling, Zarkon's lineage, tainted, but salvageable, they sent me feelings and thoughts, and I understood that they wanted me to talk to him, judge him, and make a choice. At first I thought the tainted part was because he was only half galra, but later I would realize that they referred to the witch." To his left, Lotor looked at the princess, his eyes pleading, willing her to understand the blue paladin's reasoning.

She still didn't seem satisfied, her demeanor screamed mistrust and doubt, and her gaze evaded Lance's, her eyes focusing on the holo map instead. Allura sighed before turning her back to him, looking out into the darkness of space, her posture still stiff and on edge, she didn't speak, and he supposed it meant he could follow trough with his explanation.

"So, I acted based on the lions input, my own instincts, and the information I gathered while being with the prince. When I reviewed everything together, I came to the conclusion that I had to keep him safe, and so I did." The prince looked at him sideways, a grateful smile on his lips, and Lance knew he wanted to speak to him, but they had to finish this first, he just wanted to end this and move on, both his body and spirit too tired to do this again at a later date, as long as Allura understood, even if she didn't forgive him, it was okay.

"I know you feel betrayed -his voice cracked-, that you hold a grudge because of what happened to you, and I get it, your feelings are valid, you have a right to be upset for what transpired in the past, to be angered and resentful towards Zarkon, but...." He took a deep breath and willed himself to hold on just a little longer.

" _'The sons shouldn't pay for the sins of the fathers'_ , it's an old saying, but I think it's true, Lotor is _not_ Zarkon, he's strived to bring peace back to the universe, and I wanted you all to know that, to look at him and see a man that fights for justice, a warrior attempting to save as many people as possible, to look at him and see change and hope... I wanted you guys to do that without the prejudice of knowing who he really was." He stopped, he had nothing more to say as of now, there were some facts that the princess would probably not believe, but that was okay, he had Lotor to back him up, the prince probably felt like he was indebted to Lance for his rescue, and as much as he hated taking advantage of his kindness, he had no choice, he couldn't do this alone.

"Princess Allura, the paladin of blue is nothing but sincere, I know my words may mean nothing to you, but it is true I was being mind controlled by the witch, and I never once lied about my past or the events that took place." Allura looked back at them, her head turned back slightly, just enough that Lance could see the pain and grief in her eyes.

"You know this, I spoke to you when we were younger, you know I never agreed with the way my father always sought more military power, I preferred leading in a different way, treaties, alliances, strategies, infiltration, my father's way involved submission or destruction, if I had had my way, a much more peaceful era would have been stablished." The prince looked down, the possibility of ruling the galra wasn't available for him anymore, at least not until they took down Zarkon, and even then, it would be considered a coup d'etat, was technically a coup, and not all galrans would trust or agree with Lotor's ways and decisions.

He had it hard, so many responsibilities, so much pressure, so much at stake, it was a wonder he hadn't cracked yet, Lance himself was really close to popping, if his earlier breakdown was anything to go by.

The princess finally turned around to face them, her hands clasped tightly in front of her, she squared her shoulders and raised her chin, then, for the first time since he entered the room, she locked eyes with Lance, and he froze. "Lance, I can understand your reasons now, I also had a long talk with Lotor earlier so I could had a better understanding of the situation, he enlightened me with the happenings that took place, and with what you just related, the missing pieces are finally in place." She stopped, taking a deep breath and letting it out slowly, her hands tightening more, to the point of turning her knuckles white.

"But as a paladin, as a teammate and as a...friend, you have failed us -his eyes widened- you betrayed not ony Keith's trust, but mine as well, we always had faith in your decisions while in battle, no matter how unconventional they looked, we knew you acted with our best interests in mind." His eyes watered and he gulped as his lips trembled, he kind of preferred a shouting, angry Allura to this, she was quiet, which meant she was serious, and whatever verdict she gave was going to be final, no take backs, no room for pleading, nothing.

"But this time you acted on your own, you didn't ask for advice from anyone, nor did you ask for backup, whatever the reason you held back and decided to withhold information from us, you endangered our lives and yours, too. This situation could have ended with all of us dead, Voltron being taken over, all of us captive or tortured, the lions destroyed....so may terrible scenarios I don't even want to consider." He was close to crying now, it broke his heart, the way she talked like this was the end of the line, like it was something they could never recover from, but they could, he would show them, if only they would _understand._

"We need to know that you're going to have our backs when we are on missions, that we can rely on you without having to second guess that choice, without having to worry if you're going to act solo again. But- I'm sorry to say this Lance, but....after today I feel like I can't trust you anymore - a tear escaped his eyes-, I do not know what goes trough your head, or, or -she looked down, her eyes pained- or if we did something that prompted you to lose faith in us as your team." His eyes widened, his eyebrows high on his forehead, it was true that he had been feeling a little left out lately, kinda depressed and lonely, but with so much going on, that was the least of his worries, and it had been getting better too, when he stopped acting and showed his real self... only for him to fuck it all up, even if it was for the greater good.

"Whatever the reason, this behavior is not tolerable, with the bond as it now, full of mistrust, doubt, and anger, we cannot form Voltron, so until the situation is solved, until we heal, Lance, blue paladin, you are relieved of your duties until further notice." His head shot up at that, eyes watering to the point of overflowing, she was...taking away his paladin title? Was she going to replace him? Was their relationship broken to the point of no return? What if Voltron was needed? He voiced those thoughts, voice wavering and feeling pathetically small.

"As I told you, I do not think forming Voltron now is an option, thankfully Zarkon is still out of commission and his troops are more worried about protecting him that attacking us, so we have a small reprieve, if you are needed in battle, you will be called for, you will not be deployed for solo missions, and you are not to leave the caste without supervision." She bit her lip while she walked down the small steps and towards the door, stoping only a few feet away from it, shoulders shaking slightly.

"I'm sorry Lance, it hurts me to do this, but you left me no choice." And with those last words, she left, dress fluttering behind her regal form as she crossed the door, the latter closing with a beep when she finally left.

The cracks on his heart widened, like spider webs on cracked glass.

And then it broke.

\--

Five minutes later had him still in the same position, he was frozen in time, like a marble statue, couldn't bring himself to move, to breath, to blink, he felt like he had died, like a part of him was lost at the same time his team stopped believing in him. He still hadn't talked to Hunk or Pidge, didn't know how they felt about the situation, but things looked bleak for him, he was scared of their reactions, Allura had already destroyed any hope he had of making up with her or Keith, if he learnt that the same applied to the others....he didn't know if he could take it.

At the present moment, though, the feelings on the forefront of his mind were sadness, regret, frustration, anger, at himself- _for lying_ \- at them- _for not understanding_ \- at the universe - _for putting him in that situation_ \- at the voices- _for making him carry the weight of their wishes._

He wanted someone to hold him, no questions asked, someone to comfort him, someone that cared, he wanted to scream, he wanted to cry, he wanted to vent.

So he did.

He turned towards Lotor, who was hovering near him, a worried frown marring his features, he was moving his hands around in slow motions, probably trying to find ways of helping him, and Lance didn't hesitate. He threw himself at the prince, invading his personal space and hugging him tight, didn't think to find beforehand if he was okay with physical touch or comfort, but his broken mind couldn't process anything that didn't mean warmth and relief and care at the moment. And when the prince hugged him back, rubbing circles on his back and stroking his hair, he knew he didn't have to worry about those things.

So he held Lotor, squeezed his chest and back and cried a little while he babbled, a stream of muttered words leaving his lips in a rush, barely understandable, whispers that spoke of a need to protect, a fiery desire to help and do what was right, a devotion to a cause that he would never betray, confessions of loneliness. His breath hitched while he stammered his worries, never letting slip anything dangerous that would reveal his secret, but twisting things to still be able to shout out how the stress was smothering him and he couldn't breathe.

Far away in the distance, he could softly hear the sad purring of all the lions, broken just as him, the bond that they treasured so much torn to pieces, no link or connection between them, just a void being filled by his tears and gasping breaths.

After what felt like hours, but was probably ten minutes, Lance finally stopped crying, feeling like a truck ran him over, he felt ashamed for being such a crybaby, and for making the prince uncomfortable with his...episode. But today had not been a good day for him, he finally managed to make things right, to stay alive and keep everyone safe, and the universe rewards him with more fucking drama, drama that he could have avoided if he'd been more sincere, yes, but _still._

Embarrassed as heck, he raised his eyes slightly to look at the other, and found that the prince was gazing at him, a pained look on his eyes, features twisted in discomfort. Lance mistook that for awkwardness for the hugging that had been going on earlier, but the galran proved him wrong when he confessed the real reasons for his unease.

"Lance, Blue paladin, let me begin our talk with a heartfelt apology." The prince vowed down until he couldn't see his face anymore, and Lance felt himself get red in the face.

"Stop vowing, it's not necessary -he sniffed- you're the prince, I'm supposed to be vowing to you." Lotor looked up and a small grin lit up his face, but his demeanor was still serious and his shoulders were still tense.

"Lance, I need to apologize to you, no matter what you say. I'm sorry I caused you so much grief, I'm sorry your kindness and selfless nature that prompted you to rescue me, caused a rift between your teammates and yourself. I am sorry that I couldn't stop the witch before she hurt you and that I wasn't able to support you in a better way." His words carried the pain he felt, Lotor may be composed and well mannered, but he seemed like the type of guy that wants to encompass too much, carry too many burdens on his shoulders, and if he wasn't careful, those same weights were going to drown him one day.

"It's okay, it's not your fault, I....it's true I choose to lie, Voltron works because we trust each other, because we have a bond that unites us, and we share our feelings with everyone, whether they are good or bad. When I decided to lie, to keep them in the dark, I unconsciously blocked them from the bond, surrounding myself by walls, I put Voltron in jeopardy and didn't think about the consequences, or how they would feel after. At the moment, I thought it wasn't such a big deal." _'I had other priorities at the time, like worrying about not dying , saving you, or try not to go nuts'_ , he knew he had messed up, and everything hurt and was wrong now, and he wasn't needed, he wasn't the blue paladin anymore, he was a burden, they wouldn't believe anything he said, he was dead weight, a waste of space (literal or otherwise).

"I understand that your decisions had the risk of having a dreadful outcome, but I still think it was the right choice, and I do not say that lightly, or because it was my life on the line. There was no time to worry about identities and lineages, we were into a tough situation and actions needed to be taken, I do not think you were in the wrong." Lance felt himself start to tear up again, just because someone understood, or at least was trying to, he felt weak and willed his tears to remain unshed.

"Besides, you are still young, your abilities, reflexes and tactics will improve with time, it all comes with age and experience." He seemed to think about something and curiosity filled his eyes, making them shine a brilliant blue. "May I ask how long have you been a paladin, if that's not too personal of a question?"

"Not really, I don't mind, we've been doing this for about...half a deca-phoeb? I think that's the equivalent of a year, anyway." The prince's eyes widened, his expression morphing into one of surprise.

"But...you must have had some training beforehand, yes? Some kind of program to impart the knowledge of a soldier, to cover all the basics. Right?" Lance wanted to laugh, before all this, they were just studying to go to space, yeah, they had some basic training in the event that they found themselves in a situation in which they had to defend themselves. But mostly, they just taught you it was better to run and be alive to fight another day.

"Well, we all were into a military institution, if that's what you're asking, but we were aiming to be pilots, we had some basic knowledge of hand to hand, but it was really vague. If you want me to put it bluntly, before Voltron, we were all mostly civilians with no idea of how to fight, some of us had never held a weapon before and definitely never been at war." Lotor's mouth was agape, and his brows rapidly moved to form a frown, he crossed his arms and a stern look took over his eyes.

"If this is the truth, and I know it is, princess Allura should really apologize to you - Lance tried to interrupt, but the prince held up a hand to stop him- No, please listen to me. Allura, as well as I, knew since we were younglings that we would one day take over our fathers as rulers of our respective planets. For that reason, we were taught strategy, diplomacy, general culture, bio engineering, hand to hand combat, and a fighting style with a weapon of our choice, among other things." The galran stopped for a second, hands tightening on his forearms before relaxing, his gaze moving to Lance once again.

"I choose a sword, and the princess choose a whip. We trained and studied unceasingly, every quintant, for all the Deca-Phoebs that followed until the destruction of Altea. My own physical education had to stop when they discovered my sickly disposition, but the future queen of Altea continued her regimen strictly, and even more after her mother died. Although we were apart in age, I knew personally how tough every lesson was, and how, at the end of it, you'd be a soldier through and through." Lance was listening, he really was, but the only piece of information his brain could retain at the moment was that they were apart in age.

"What do you mean apart in age? The training wouldn't change so much for being like, two years apart or something, right?" The prince tilted his head and laughed, the soft sound filling the silence that permeated the room.

"Oh, no, sorry, I should have explained earlier, when Zarkon destroyed Altea and the princess was sent away, she was nineteen phoebs old, and I was about ten if I'm not mistaken. Then she was frozen in time, but I continued to grow until Haggar inoculated my body with quintessence, then my growth stopped, I think I was twenty-four." He could feel his mouth open in surprise, he would have never guessed that back then, their ages would have been so different, it pained him to hear that the prince was but a child when he had to watch his father become a monster (even if he already knew from _before_ ).

"Ah, I'm sorry, I got sidetracked. What I was trying to say is that we actually have training, we are able to think with a clear head in situations of danger and pick the best choice for survival available at the moment. So the princess should have known better than to be so harsh with you when you were a civilian before this, she should understand that you do not think like her, and that the actions that make sense to her, may not make it to you." Lance didn't want to agree, still kinda blaming himself for the mess he created, but it made sense, they were soldiers, were taught since they were born how to rule a country and an army. The paladins, on the other hand, were just children, they knew nothing of death and war (thought Lance was beginning to get acquainted with the former), and they had been victorious in all their battles, but...

What would happen when there was a battle that they couldn't win? What would happen when they couldn't protect a planet and all it's inhabitants died? How would they feel when they had to kill a galran soldier, in the flesh, with their own hands? Were they ready to stain their own hands with someone else's blood?

The answer was no, they weren't ready, they weren't trained for this, they didn't have the mental strength to go through that. So far they had stunned, injured, or knocked out soldiers, but never killed, if it came to that one day....he didn't know if his friends could take it.

"I see your point, I just...we never had time to think about this before, the lions chose us, and suddenly we were thrown into a war we knew nothing about, and everyone had those high expectations for us, _'Saviors of the universe'_ they said, it was a lot of pressure and we didn't have a second to breathe and just think. I see now that that was a mistake, we really should have a serious talk with Allura.... when she stops wanting to kill me." He laughed a little, but it was an empty sound and didn't reach his eyes, Lotor seemed to know, but just smiled softly before continuing the conversation.

"I really do not think she wants to end you, me, on the other hand..." Lance giggled this time, and it was real, Lotor just said that with a deadpan expression, like it was a small inconvenience and not a life or death situation, it was really hilarious to him for some reason.

"Oh jesus, I remember now, Keith said -he grimaced- that she tried to strangle you? Care to explain what happened when we came back? Because I was out like a light back then." As much as he felt like just lying on the floor and taking a nap right there, he wanted to know what happened, how his friends (if he still was allowed to call them that) reacted and how Lotor handled the situation, because he didn't seem like he was missing a leg or anything, and with a mad Allura in tow, that was a miracle.

"Of course, but first-." The prince walked to the steps that led to the controls of the ship and sat down, motioning Lance to do the same, he took three long strides and plopped down just next to him.

"Well, to begin, we docked on the hangar of the Black lion, I regained consciousness just a few ticks before we settled down, I could remember everything from when I was possessed, and I apologized profusely to...Keith, was it? -He nodded- Yes, so, I apologized to Keith but he brushed me off, he was more worried about you." Lance couldn't believe that, I mean, well, he _could_ , but, they were in a _'hate you-don't hate you as much'_ relationship back then, it was strange for him to think that the red paladin would have been so concerned for him, specially now, with things as they were.

"He checked your vitals, and as soon as he registered you were alive and not badly hurt, he caught you in his arms -he couldn't help but blush in embarrassment- and we left the Black lion. We walked to the door and he told me to wait there, that he would take you to the medical bay and be back." Lance supposed this would have been the moment when, if Lotor would have turned out to be evil, he would have had free reign to hack the castle, attack someone, steal data, the lions...it was probably one of the reasons they were so pissed at Lance, careless, they would say, because Keith didn't know any better at the moment, thought he was a Blade member he could trust.

"He came back a few doboshes later with the green and yellow paladins in tow, he motioned for me to approach and introduced his companions to me, he also mentioned that you were fine, just exhausted and in need of rest, so he had taken you to your room and you were sleeping. I was overcome with relief, so much so, that I was careless with my words, and when we were introducing ourselves, I accidentally used my real name, and just as the words left my mouth....princess Allura entered the room." Lance felt himself pale, oh man, that wasn't going to be pretty, was it?

"She stopped just as she set foot inside while Keith looked confused, muttering about my name being Loriel -Lance shrugged, he had no better ideas at the time and it sounded kinda like L'oreal, you know, that shampoo brand, and Lotor has awesome hair so- then in one swift motion the princess, with her features overcome with fury and anger, strided to me as fast as lightning and closed her hands around my neck." He winced, it must have hurt a lot, the princess could be mad strong when she wanted to.

"I just...stood there, I expected her greeting to be...intense, so I wasn't surprised -Lance giggled- she began questioning me, asking for my reasons to sneak on her ship and if I was trying to fool them into thinking I was someone that I was not. Then Keith intervened, he told her that I was a Blade member, that you had rescued me and we fought together, then he told her about the witch, her mind control, and how you solved the situation." Lance imagined the red paladin standing up for Lotor, not really knowing who he was, trying his best to protect someone who, in his mind, had done nothing wrong. The culpability settled heavy on his chest, it hurt to breathe.

"Afterwards the princess told him who I really was, and asked him how he could have brought someone so dangerous to her ship. Your friend was still confused and mad about the whole situation, but he denied knowing anything about it, insisted that you told him I was a Blade member and a prisoner. Then came the theory that you could have been mind controlled too -Lance raised an eyebrow- and I thought about letting them believe that, it was better than the alternative." He felt grateful that the prince was willing to act as the bad guy for his sake, even if, ultimately, the situation ended in disaster anyway.

"But then your friend intervened, Hank, I think he was called? - _"It's Hunk"_ \- ah, yes, Hunk, he said that you were no idiot,that you and the lions would have felt it if someone tried to invade your mind , he said that you probably talked to me before freeing me, that you were smart enough to know what to do in that kind of situation, that you would have found out about my real identity. And then he asked Keith about your behavior, if there was anything strange, the red paladin said no, that you acted like normal, except when talking about me, you wouldn't look him in the eye and you would bit your lip." He forgot about that, it was a nervous habit he still has, and no matter how much he tried to get rid of it, he could never fully stop it, though he only did it when he was...... _oh._

"Hunk looked disappointed and told Keith that you used to do that only when you lied, that if someone was impersonating you, they wouldn't know about that, so you were very much aware of what you were doing and who I really was, no possession involved. After that, it was mayhem, the red paladin was alight with anger, the princess as well, and the other two paladins didn't seem to be faring any better." Lance wanted to lay down and sleep, try to forget this ever happened, he didn't want to think about their betrayed and hurt expressions when they found out he lied to them on purpose.

" I spoke with Allura and sought a compromise, they could handcuff me, trap me or imprison me, I would tell them all they wanted to know, about Zarkon and how he was still alive, his fleets, his soldiers and weapons, anything, as long as we could have a civilized conversation later, without any prejudices getting in the way." So they ended up holding Lotor prisoner, figures, he tries to protect the prince and it blows in his face in the worst way possible, it's the McClain luck, for sure.

"They did indeed handcuff me, but no other measures were taken, I told them about what transpired between us, leaving some things unsaid, I wanted to try and return the favour, protect you to the best of my ability too - God, he wanted to hug the guy again, was it improper to hug a prince? He had already done it once, but still- but it was no use, the yellow paladin knows you like the back of his hand, he analyzed your behavior in my story and came to the conclusion that you were in on the farce, I could do nothing for you, after all." It was really sweet that he had tried to cover for Lance, but in the end, this lie would have come back to haunt him anyway, maybe it was for the best that it had been so soon, no matter how much it hurt, he told this to Lotor, and received a sad smile for his efforts.

"After being interrogated for a while, when they were satisfied with the answers I gave, I began to tell them about me, Zarkon, how it all began, how I had been fighting for so long, and I asked for an alliance, it took a while, about four to five vargas, but eventually, the princess agreed to set me free after Coran, her advisor, checked for any anomalies in my quintessence, they wanted to be certain that the witch was gone." Yeah, that had been one of Lance's worries too, he wanted to make sure that the prince was in the clear, but had no way of doing that when he was still out cold in bed.

"We talked for a while more, even if Allura was reluctant to speak to me, and she accepted adding my soldiers and I to the Voltron alliance, though she let very clear that I didn't have her trust, and that if I ever tried anything, she would destroy me. Then the red paladin left with a huff, saying that you needed to answer for your - the galran stopped, a small disturbed look crossing his eyes- _fucking betrayal_ , and that you better had good reasons to lie to your leader, and he left as quick as he could, then you came, and you know the rest."

He did, oh god he did, he wanted to erase those memories, the more he revisited them, the more they hurt, but it wasn't something he had the luxury or the right to forget, so he just, left them in a corner of his mind, where it wouldn't sting as badly. Looking to his left he noticed that Lotor was gazing back at him, and he realized he hadn't spoken in a while, too absorbed into listening to what the other was saying to intercede.

"Thanks for telling me, I just...needed to know, it must have looked quite bad from their perspective." That was the understatement of the year.

"It was no problem, but I think you should go rest, Lance, you are looking quite pale." He didn't feel any different, I mean, thinking about Keith's betrayed expression and Hunk's hurt face made him want to puke, but what was new? He had the impression that he hadn't been feeling a hundred percent okay since a long time ago, if he wasn't tired he had a headache, if it wasn't that his muscles hurt, or his throat, or some other part of his body. Maybe he really needed a nap, he was about to voice his thoughts when the door opened, and he tensed.

"Blue paladin, what are you are doing in the control room? Shouldn't you be training with your companions?." Great, Kolivan was back, this was not going to end well, he wouldn't kill Lance, because, blue paladin and all (even if he wasn't active at the moment, which, _ouch_ ) but Lotor on the other hand...he hoped they wouldn't give the prince a hard time.

"Ahhh, yes Kolivan, I just....we have a situation going on, and, well, I'm kinda taking a break?" It sounded more like a question, but he was improvising here. " By the way we have a new ally, his name's Lotor, he's our new ally, you know, really strong and has valuable info and a lot of soldiers and all, a great ally you know?" He babbled that sentence really fast, repeating the word ally in hopes of getting Kolivan to understand the fact that, no, Lotor wasn't evil and no, he couldn't kill him, he sounded like an idiot, but didn't care at the moment.

"So it would seem." The Blade's soldier didn't look surprised, in fact, he looked quite pleased, maybe he already knew about him? It wouldn't be a stretch, the Blade's information network is wide, and it's members are really sneaky, can infiltrate any place and extract any data they need without being found, it's like they're invisible, wich is kinda creepy.

Lotor smiled at Kolivan, some silent conversation taking place, then Lance caught something moving out of the corner of his eyes and oh, there was Slav, standing by Lance's chair and trying not to touch a small dent in one of the floor's metal tiles, he looked like it would be the end of the world if he did, and maybe to him it would be, who knows, Slav is a special guy.

The small alien was looking for a roundabout way to proceed when his eyes landed on Lance, at first, he thought the guy wanted his help, but then, to his surprise and later horror, Slav's eyes widened and he ran straight to him, walking over the dent on the floor and all, and stopped just short of their foreheads touching. He was looking him all over, for once not muttering about anything, and he seemed to have stopped breathing.

"That....that can't be, don't tell me this is the reality in wich you can come back from the d-" Lance hurriedly covered his mouth (beak?) with his hand, his own eyes widening in disbelief and terror, had he really just, nearly blurted out Lance's most guarded secret at the moment? How could he know? What was going on? He needed to talk to Slav, in private, right now.

"Ummm, sorry guys, Slav and I have some things to talk about, we have an ongoing project we want to work on, so yeah, see you later, have fun talking!" He caught the multiple armed alien, put him under his arm, and ran like his life depended on it, he barely caught a glimpse of an amused Lotor and a confused Kolivan, before the two began having a conversation of their own and he rushed away, the air leaving his lungs as he sprinted through the corridors.

When he felt he was far enough, he let the other down, weirded out that he hadn't squirmed or babbled or done anything to escape his touch, knowing how picky and paranoid Slav was. He doubled over, hand on his knees and tried to catch his breath, his mind was going a mile per hour trying to decipher what the hell was going on, but he knew that without talking with the engineer beside him, he didn't have any hope of finding out .

He looked trough his lashes to find the alien gazing back at him, still flabbergasted and silent, Lance couldn't take it, so he choose to be the one to break the tension.

"Say....Slav...what were you trying to say earlier? I don't know what you think you know, but-" He was interrupted, the other's heavy accented voice filling the hallway.

"I'm sensitive to quintessence, you know this, right?" _No, no, he didnt' know this_ , that meant he was like Haggar, that he could feel the _'wrongness'_ in his life force, he would be able to see that he was fucked up, that he had _too much_ and...and...but that didn't explain about the _redo_ thing, he was 99.9% sure of what Slav was going to say back there, and he couldn't just have guessed something like that, it was pretty much impossible, _so how...?_

"I was born with a mutation in my quintessence, in terms that a human will understand, my own quintessence is linked to the other versions of me, past, present and future that exist in different dimensions/realities. Of the billions and billions of me that are alive right now, I'm the only one that is linked to each and every one of them, the only one aware of what happens in other realities.” Other realities? Other versions of himself? That was...bizarre, and Lance honestly didn't know what to think.

"It means I know what happens in every reality, every second of everyday, I know facts about everyone because there are so many realities, that I've been able to meet an exceedingly large number of people. I know every variable, every choice that would end in an outcome or another, every decision that would end in death or success. At first I thought it would be too much for my brain to process, but I managed to function just fine.” Lance raised an eyebrow at that, if by fine he meant paranoid and kinda crazy, then sure, he functioned just _fine._

“The only setback is that with so many futures, variables, decisions, choices, and the ramifications that develop from them filling my mind, it's pretty much impossible for me to distinguish which belong to _my_ reality and which belong to others. So until I saw you and how bright your quintessence was, I didn't know that was going to happen to you , the future of my own reality is the only one I cannot see." He was gaping, mind trying to comprehend what he was hearing, was Slav telling the truth? Was it really possible to have such a thing happen because of quintessence?

"There are realities where you didn't go to the Garrison - he gasped loudly-, some where Shiro died on Kerberos, some where Keith joined the Galra after Allura couldn't let go of her grudge, some where Lotor became evil and ruled after his father, in others Pidge never lost her family, and thus never knew you, but Matt filled in her place as the green paladin, and in some, you got tired of the way the team undervalued you and left, looking for your destiny in other places. All of those thousands of millions of scenarios are in my head, all the time, I learnt to archive them, to save them in folders so they don't fry my brain, picturing my mind as a machine or a computer helped in the long run." He always thought that Slav's thing with realities were delusions, just something his mind had created and he fully believed to be real, but in truth didn't exist. He wasn't so sure now. How else would he know about the Garrison? Or Kerberos? Or Matt? Nobody had told him any of that.

"So when I look at you, I can see, if I want to, every outcome of every choice and every decision you've ever made in every reality. On 25% of the realities, you fall into a pool of quintessence, and seeing as your life-force is shining bright like a sun with a sinister undercurrent of darkness...I suppose that's what happened, yeah?" His breath got caught in his throat, _how?_ Did he really have such knowledge? Could he know, for real, what was happening in other worlds? Was it so easy for him to guess what he had been keeping from everyone? This was too farfetched to be true, but even with him being sensitive to quintessence, he couldn't have known about the pool unless his claims where authentic.

What would he do now? Would he babble the truth to the others? Would he force Lance to tell? He couldn't, he wouldn't, he still had to figure out this whole stuff, he knew that if he researched a bit he could find a way of being useful, of harnessing his power in a way that could help his team, he just needed _time_.

"Slav, please don't tell them, don't make me tell them, I want, I can't-" He was panicking, but the other held up one of his hands to shush him, a sad look crossing his features before he sighed, his whole demeanor depicting sorrow.

"So this is one of the realities in which you don't tell them... that's...heartbreaking. But be relieved, I suppose, as much as I talk about percentages and spout facts and happenings about other dimensions, I'm forbidden to speak of anything that may change the course of the reality I reside in. I cannot share my knowledge of the possible futures with anyone, just give little nudges in the right direction and hope for the best.”

“And I'm banned of crossing realities, if we ever found a way to do so, my mutated life-force wouldn't be able to take it, I would pretty much desintegrate. Also I'm not able to interfere directly at all unless it's for something personally related to me, I'm just a useless source of knowledge, and I only have so much of the latter because I share all the wisdom of my other me's." That was...terrifying, so much data, so many information compacted in one brain, so many different worlds alive at once, with all their events, past, present and future flowing into his head...

He shuddered.

Then abruptly looked up, confused. "But wait, back at the control room you were about to say...you were about to tell my secret! Isn't that interfering?" Slav cocked his head to one side.

"No, I would have cut myself before I finished the sentence, there was just a 89.9 % probablity that you would stop me and carry me away to this hallway, then we would have this conversation." Lance's mouth was hanging open, he knew, he must look like an idiot right now.

" But...why have this talk with me? What do you gain from it? I...don't understand." Slav looked at him, a small smile making his eyes crinkle on the edges, his hands (all of them) wriggling anxiously with the sleeves of his jacket.

"I just wanted you to know you're not alone, I'm probably not the only one that knows -he winked at Lance, and suddenly, like summoned, five presences were purring all around him- but I still wanted to tell you, also..." He looked down, conflicted about something before righting himself, a determined fire igniting on his eyes.

"On 57.3% of the realities in which we had this talk, you managed to achieve a happy ending - Lance's eyes filled with tears- so I wanted to do everything in my power to help you, even if it was something small." And then he couldn't take it anymore, he threw himself at the other and cried (he was  was doing that a lot today), hugged him tight, awkward as it was with all his arms hugging him back, but he was so happy, so relieved that someone else knew, that someone cared, that he had tried his best to make sure Lance could be happy in the end, 57.3 wasn't that high, but he didn't fucking care, for him, it was enough.

He was going to make sure Slav's efforts were not in vain, he was going to do his damn best to get his epic ending and be happy, bad luck and death and the universe be damned.

\--

When he finally managed to detangle himself from Slav, he wiped his nose with a handkerchief and they said their goodbyes, Lance feeling a thousand times lighter, while the engineer left to hide in some crevice in the castle, a good way to make sure he didn't touch anything that made the other Slavs's chances of survival decrease. He thought that was highly unlikely, since he couldn't interact with other dimensions and whatever he did on this one wouldn't affect the others (he explained this to Lance just a few minutes ago), but for Slav, whose mind always swirled with all the events and decisions and outcomes of his other versions, it seemed difficult to discernish what was going to happen and what not, too many thoughts at once, so he avoided anything that could remotely endanger him.

It was a hard way to live, that's for sure, but there were times when he relaxed and stopped being so jumpy, and at those times, he was a nice guy to talk to.

As soon as the other left, he tried to find his courage and quickly made a beeline for Hunk's room, enough hiding, enough doubting, he was going to confront his best friend, and he would take whatever he threw at him, he deserved at least an apology from Lance, and he would do just about anything to regain his friendship.

In a few doboshes he was in front of Hunk's room, his hand trembled in anticipation and nerves, but he had no time to think about his actions, if he did, he would chicken out and run back to his quarters to hide like a coward, and that was unacceptable. With a deep breath through his nose, he rapped his knuckles against the door and waited.

"Yeah, who is it?" His friend's voice sounded tired, like he had just gotten up from a nap.

He swallowed hard, his own voice trembling as he spoke. "It's...me, Lance, can I come in?" He sounded small and pathetic, just like he felt, and his breathing hitched when Hunk didn't answer for a few ticks, but just when he was about to turn around and go mope somewhere, the door opened.

"Come in." It was curt, and barely an invitation, but Lance took it, he whipped around as fast as he could and walked into the yellow paladin's room, it was as neat as he remembered, and there were some flowers here and there that filled the space with a sweet smell.

His best friend was sitting on his bed, trimming a plant's leaves that had grown too big, he was looking intently at it, never gazing at Lance or acknowledging him, Hunk's expression was tight, his brow furrowed, and he remembered he used to get that face when he was extremely stressed or worried about something. He didn't mean to cause so much grief to the other, he felt guilt swirl around in his stomach.

"Hunk...look, I know you probably don't want to talk to me right now, but I thought that, at least, I had to say sorry to you. It probably won't mean anything now, but...for all it's worth...I'm really sorry." The yellow paladin stopped his trimming, his hands staying immobile on his lap, he set aside both the plant and the scissors and finally looked up at Lance, his eyebrows pinched and eyes glassy. He felt himself flinch.

"Lance, _look_ , I'm not mad or, or, super angry at what you did or anything. I know you're smart, I know you probably realized the potential Lotor may have as an ally and chose to save him for that same reason." He fidgeted with his vest for a tick before continuing. "I even kind of get why you lied to Keith, I mean, the guy would have impaled the prince as soon as he heard he was Zarkon's son, I get it, it wasn't the best decision, but I get it." His friend sighed, eyes roaming over the room, settling for a tick on his wallet that was on the desk, before finding Lance's eyes again.

"But, we are best friends -Lance bit his lips at the present tense, hope filling his chest- the thing that hurt the most, that disappointed me, was that you didn't trust me enough to tell me what was really going on. We have private channels to talk with each other, before reuniting with Keith you could have told me what happened, so I could take care of the situation when you guys came back to the castle. I would have helped you." His lips trembled, but he held back, he had already cried too much today, it was annoying and not a thing he usually did, today had just been emotionally taxing and completely exhausted him to the point of not having control over his emotions or tear ducts, it sucked.

"So yeah, the thing with Lotor was kinda scary, but he's a good guy and talking with him was fun and kinda educational, it just hurt that you didn't confide in me, that you thought you had to do it alone, I always thought there were no secrets between us, that if we ever found ourselves in a sticky situation you'd call for me to have your back, I guess I just wasn't good enough." And that did it, he vowed down, as far as he could, the scripted apology he had prepared disappearing in a flash, his mouth opened and his words came stumbling out, he barely breathed, he just spouted what he felt and hoped it would be enough.

"I'm so so sorry, I never meant to make you feel like this! Of course you are good enough! I never keep anything from you, I even told you about that crush I had on that guy back at the Garrison! I always trust you with my life, I have never doubted you, not even once!" He stopped to heave, gasps filling the sudden silence after his outburst.

"I just, it was a difficult situation, I was trying to find out more about Lotor, to see if I he was being sincere, then we were fighting a lot of galra and with all the things going on I forgot, I honest to god forgot about the comms, then the witch came and I was trying not to die and then Keith nearly died and I had to stop it and then I got blasted and I just..." He clutched at his chest, feeling like he was going to suffocate, he wasn't lying, he really had forgotten about the comms, with all the stuff going on in his head back then, what with the redos and all, he hadn't thought, not even once, about telling anyone about Lotor, he hadn't noticed that the channels were open until after Haggar blasted him, when his friends were screaming at him.

"Then we had to escape before the ship self destructed, and then we were flying in Black and I was so tired I couldn't move or think and I just....fainted. I swear to god Hunk, if my brain hadn't been such a mess back then I would have told you! You are my best friend since kindergarten! You know me, you know how I get when I'm in a pinch!" He was seconds away from begging, he wouldn't be able to live if Hunk never talked to him again, they knew each other since they were children, they had no secrets between them. If he had had time to think more clearly back then and if he hadn't been terrified about dying again, he would have chosen to tell Hunk, no doubt about it, and he would have helped Lance get the prince to the castle, keep an eye on him, and then explain the situation to Allura.

Things would have gone a lot smoother, but as it was, he was too preoccupied that even small changes could alter the new redo he was in, he wanted to keep it as close as the second one as he could, so he didn't even think about talking with anyone, maybe that had been a mistake, but he was successful in the end, so he didn't know if he was regretful or not.

"Yeah, I know how you get, you develop a one track mind, lose sight of your surroundings and focus only on the objective in front of you, you've been that way since I've known you. So that's why I also know you're telling the truth, you aren't bitting your lip or looking away -Lance blushed, embarrassed- you're looking me in the eyes and waving your hands around, like you do when you're nervous or scared." He brought his hands down, hadn't even noticed they were up in the first place, and clasped them together, as if in prayer.

"Lance, dude, how could you forget about the comms? That's, like, the most irresponsible thing you could have done." He felt an arm sneak around his back and he tensed, looking up through his lashes he saw Hunk smiling down at him, and relaxed instantly, shoulders sagging. He rested his forehead on his friend's chest and chuckled.

"I don't know what to tell you, but, for real, I was so focused on what we were doing and stopping Keith from murdering Lotor I...I didn't even considered about telling anyone, like, the idea didn't cross my mind. I'm really sorry Hunk...I don't think I deserve it but...will you forgive me?" He sounded hopeful, it was too much too wish for, that he would forgive Lance just like that, but he prayed he would, he was dealing with too many things at the same time, he needed someone to be his rock, his support, and that someone has always been and could only be Hunk.

A deep sigh, a tightening of the arms around his back, a small whisper of a laugh.

"Of course I forgive you, you idiot -He let out a breath he didn't know he was holding- but-" He held Lance at arms length and looked at him directly in the eyes, a pout framing his face."You have to promise, no more secrets, no more lies, if you ever find yourself in a situation like this one, where you have to fake an identity or something, you tell me, are we clear?" He was dead serious, and Lance nodded fervently, then stopped, what about....the redo thing, should he tell him? If there was one person who would believe him no matter how crazy he sounded, it would be Hunk, and he just promised no more lies, he wasn't going to be a disappointment as a friend again. He took a deep breath and prepared to reveal what was his biggest secret at the moment.

"Hey, man, look, I...I have this thing where I can...uhh...how do I say this- His friend looked confused- I can kinda, sorta, y'know, come back from th-" The words got caught in his throat, which closed up for some reason, and for a terrifying minute he couldn't breathe, his lungs screaming in protest. A hard slap on his back brough him to the present and he coughed and hacked, doubling over, sweat running down his forehead.

"Lance, jeez man, you scared the crap outta me! Did you choke on your own saliva or something?" Yeah, that must have been it, his mouth had been so dry he choked when he tried swallowing, sure, yep, that was all it was.

"Y-yeah, I think that was it." He straightened and rubbed his chest while his best friend drew small circles on his back.

"Okay, that's enough for today, you look like shit, you should probably take a nap." That was the best suggestion he heard today, Lotor had suggested rest, too, and who was he to disobey both a prince and the best friend in the universe? No one, that's who.

"I think I'll do that, I feel like lying horizontal on any surface and sleeping for ten thousand years." Hunk laughed, loud and boisterous, and he felt like a weight had been lifted from his shoulders. They said their goodbyes, the other saying he still needed a bit of time to himself, to process the things that happened, but assured Lance that they were cool.

When he left, however, he stopped and looked to the left, where Pidge's room was located, he knew it was probably a mistake to go there now, the small paladin usually needs time to process things, she looks things over again and again and again from a different angle, balancing the good and the bad and comparing data until she can reach an answer on her own. It had just been a few hours, so she probably hadn't reached a conclusion but...he still wanted to try.

He approached her room and stood by the door, hesitating, and just when he was about to knock, a resounding 'blip' filled the silence and Pidge's voice came, from what looked like small speakers installed into the panel next to the door.

"Who is it?" He couldn't see her, but he knew she was tired, her voice always slurred a bit and got hoarse when she didn't sleep enough. She usually stayed awake looking for data on her family and Shiro or decrypting info they had stolen from the galra.

"It's Lance." The typing sound that was a background noise before stopped, and for a few long ticks Pidge said nothing, he heard a deep sigh and the cracking of bones before she replied.

"Lance, look, I know you're probably a nervous wreck and want to talk and stuff, I know you probably wanna make up and explain yourself, but I really, really can't do this right now." He deflated like an old balloon, even if he knew beforehand that she wasn't probably too keen on talking right now, he still hoped she would. Still, he shouldn't push her, he had to respect boundaries, he wasn't going to overwhelm her with his need to apologize, it wasn't fair to her.

"Just let me tell you, I'm pissed, I was scared as fuck when Allura told us who Lotor was, my family was taken by the Galra, Shiro was too...twice. So you have to understand how fucking terrified I was that you bought an unknown galra dude to the ship and left him alone without supervision. Because Keith didn't know any better at the time, he could have killed you, any of you, or captured you, and I would have lost my second family, and I can't do that again Lance, I can't." He pursued his lips, gaze falling down, his foot tapping the floor rhythmically as to distract himself from the anxiousness he was feeling. How could he have forgotten? Pidge always acted so brave that he overlooked it sometimes, the galra stole everything away from her, of course she would be freaked out that Zarkon's son was on their ship, alone and able to do anything he wanted to them or the lions, he was an idiot.

"Just, gimme some time to get my shit together, ok? I know you're no idiot and that you didn't mean to pass out back then, that you probably meant to keep an eye on Lotor yourself when you arrived at the castle, but things don't always happen as we want to, and we could have been pretty fucked if the prince had turned out to be evil. You know?" She continued typing, from what he heard, and he decided that he had bothered her enough, he would wait all the time that was necessary until she felt ready to talk and hear his apology.

"I understand, Pidge, I'll wait as long as you need, take your time, when you think you're ready, come talk to me?" He posed it as a question, a suggestion, he wanted to make it very clear that she wasn't obligated to do so, that it was her choice.

"Sure, now I'm just gonna try and decipher this motherfuc-" He knew this was as good as a 'goodbye' as he was gonna get, when the green paladin focused on her work, no one was able to get through her, she would get tunnel vision and wouldn't stop until she found out the answers she was seeking. This time was no different.

His next quest involved a mission he was currently calling _'Get as far away from Keith as possible'_ , for which he needed his best man, Coran. He didn't know where the older man would be, but a search through the hot spots on the castle proved to be useful, and he found the altean engineer on the training deck, trying to fix something about the droids.

He walked towards the other and cleared his throat to signal his presence. "Hey Coran, what're you doin'?." He left what looked like a screwdriver next to a metal box and turned around to face Lance, his face looked relieved and before he could analyze his reactions or ask him what was wrong, the altean man was walking towards him, enveloping him in a bone crushing hug full of warmth and affection that left no room for doubts.

He had already forgiven Lance.

He felt like he could breathe a little lighter.

"I'm so sorry my boy, Allura shouldn't have been so harsh on you, she didn't even let you explain, and then Keith came barging in and...I couldn't even stand up for you, I wanted to have the chance to speak to you before being brought to the control room, but I didn't have the opportunity to do so. I would have listened to your story, and backed you up as best as I could, given that your motives were reasonable. And I know they were, I know you wouldn't risks anyone's lives other than your own in any circumstance." Lance gulped, and then smiled up towards the other, his own arms tightening around the altean's broad back, it was nice to know someone trusted him unconditionally, no questions asked, no explanation needed, he believed that Lance did what he thought was best for the team, and that's all that mattered.

"It's okay Coran, I know it probably sounded to them like I was being impulsive and reckless, although those are traits of the Red lion, and I'm the Blue paladin no matter what, even if I pilot Red now." He felt Blue filling with pride at the claim, her purring vibrating through him while Red pouted in the distance. Coran separated himself from Lance and gave him a tired smile before asking if he needed anything.

"Ah, yeah, I was wondering if there's any room I could take on the other side of the castle." The altean raised an eyebrow at the request, mouth pulling into a frown." It's just, I'm right next to Keith's room and....you know, it's not the best place to be right now, I've talked to Hunk and we are more or less cool, and Pidge will talk to me when she's ready, but I can't be close to Keith or Allura or the others right now, I need some distance." Coran nodded in understanding and moved to the console right next to the door, pulling up a map of the ship and motioning for Lance to come closer.

"I think the best one you could take is this one -he pointed to a room on the third floor, right on the other side of the castle- it's very far away, but with the elevator you can get anywhere really fast, and if you need to get to Red, there's a hatch that drops you right outside the control room. It's also a big bedroom, with great windows to look at the stars, and the bed is twin size, it must be a bit dusty, ten thousand years will do that to you, but I think you will enjoy it." Lance smiled gratefully at the other and thanked him profusely, Coran also told him there was a training deck, showers, kitchen and everything on the third floor, told him that each floor were made to be habitable without having to interfere with the other parts of the ship, so each plant could host a different alien species when in diplomatic meetings and they would have all the privacy they needed.

He copied the map to his phone and left to gather his things and take them to his new room, he barely took twenty minutes, he didn't have a lot of things. When he was done he walked to the elevator and was pleasantly surprised to find Lotor there. The prince found his gaze and smiled at him, waving his hand in the way he had seen Lance do before, it was slightly awkward and slighty adorable.

"Hello, Lance, may I ask where are you going?" His tone was cheery, like his day had been really succesful, he couldn't say the same for himself, sadly.

"Just going to the third floor to my new room, you?" The prince frowned at the _'new room'_ part, eyebrows pinched in disapproval, but he wiped out that look quick and answered him.

"I had a nice, educational and enlightening conversation with Kolivan after you left, he told me they are going to escort Slav to another base because he wants to work in some project of his, and while we chatted, I learnt that the Blade is staying on the second floor, so I thought to go up and search for quarters available for my generals and myself." Lance thought about it, what kind of people would his generals be? Would they be nice and fun to talk to? Or would they be like the blade, intimidating and aloof? He was really curious.

"If they get here and learn they don't have rooms of their own to sleep in, they are going to eviscerate me -Lance fake gagged- they will be tired and grumpy, and will blame me for not planning beforehand, I was missing for a few quintants, so they will be worried too, I'm not looking forward to that encounter." He laughed, his eyes crinkling and mouth pulling upwards, forming dimples on each side, Lance found that it cheered him up watching Lotor be happy, it made him remember that his actions had significance, that he had managed to save a life that would continue thriving, that this, is what he was fighting for.

It filled with a strange sense of pride.

They boarded the elevator, and the prince pushed the 2 and 3 buttons, the doors closing with a whoshing sound, he tried for small conversation, trying to fill in the silence.

"Say, was Allura okay with the whole, you know, you and the generals living here?"

"If I'm being honest, no -Lance grinned- at first she was completely opposed to the idea, but with the Blade's quarters being here, she allowed us to stay as long as we were on the same floor and under complete surveillance." It made sense, it would probably be annoying to be followed everywhere, everyday, but Lotor didn't seem to mind.

Suddenly a beeping noise made Lance jump, and he turned to search where it came from, gaze falling on the prince as he looked to his wrist, a defeated sigh leaving his lips, his face pulling into an irritated frown. The beeping continued for a few ticks until Lotor finally clicked some buttons and a holo screen popped up, immediately, shouting and incomprehensible curses and threats were heard, and he had to cover his ears to avoid going deaf.

"Stop right this instant, you're making my savior uncomfortable." The noise ceased right away, and Lance opened his eyes (when had he closed them?) to look back at the prince, he motioned for him to come closer, and as he did so he caught sight of four aliens on the holo screen, all of them wearing the same armor the prince had. The four strangers looked back at him with interest, curiosity and surprise, then the galran was resting his hand on Lance's shoulder, a smile lighting up his face, and he relaxed.

"Lance, I want you to meet my generals -oh, so that's who they were- the big one is Zethrid - _she growled_ \- the one with the ponytail is Ezor _-Hallo sweetie!_ \- the one with the small being is Narti - _she nodded_ \- and the last one is Acxa - _she frowned but eventually nodded-_. They are my most trusted and close allies, the ones that protect me and fight by my side in this war, they are all half galran, just like myself." All of Lotor's generals were cool aliens, cool girl aliens, cool half galran girl aliens....who looked like they could snap him in half, how more awesome could Lotor get? He had already left very clear that he didn't discriminate, but this proved his statement to be true, Lotor didn't care what gender or race you were, as long as you could kick butt, nice.

"Nice to meet you! I'm Lance, the blue paladin." He shoot finger guns at the generals and they regarded him with confusion before turning to look at the prince, enraged and ready to murder, it seemed he was in for it now.

 _"Lotor!_ -the one shouting was, Ezor, he thought- _how could you just leave us? You said nothing about where you were going, and then we get a message from the empire saying that they were about to kill you, or more like, the red paladin was going to kill you! We didn't know what was going on!"_ What the hell? Keith was going to kill Lotor? I mean, he did, but that was before and... _oh, ohhhh_ , so that was a part of Haggar's plan too, she captures Lotor, they save him, she uses him to kill Lance and then Keith kills the prince, then the witch tells the generals that he had been killed by a paladin, so to avenge him they fight Voltron and probably destroy each other, and she gets to kill two birds with one stone.

Scheming bitch.

He voices his thoughts to Lotor, leaving some bits out, and Lotor agrees that it was her objective the whole time, one way or another, she would have tricked them into believing it had been the paladins that had killed the prince, it wouldn't have been a good situation.

"I'm sorry Ezor, but there was something I needed to do, and it was too dangerous to bring you with me- _You got captured!_ \- yes Acxa, I fell into a trap but- _you should have let us destroy them! Whoever they were!_ \- that was not a choice at first Zethrid, I realize I made a mistake, but believe me when I say it will not happen again, and it lead me to meet with Voltron, so I would count this as a success." The four generals sighed in defeat, Lotor was stubborn, it seemed, the girls were really protective of the prince, and they looked pretty pissed that he ditched them to throw himself headfirst into danger, it reminded him of....Keith.

"If it weren't for Lance -he yelped in surprise- I wouldn't be standing here right now, so when you arrive at the castle - _It'll still take us some quintants_ \- be sure to thank him throughly, am I clear?" They nodded and saluted, Ezor promising to give him a good tight hug for his troubles, which made him blush, which was stupid because he was always the flirty one, but it looked like when he was on the receiving end, he couldn't take it.

Huh, what do you know? He learnt something new about himself. The communications cut out, and Lotor took a deep breath before blowing it out, running a hand through his hair, he looked back at Lance, and he smiled up at the other, full of mirth.

"Your generals seem pretty nice...and deadly." The prince chuckled.

"That would be an accurate description, they are really protective and fierce about our little...family, if you would call it that. They lost their own when they were young, some abandoned them or rejected them for their heritage, so when we got together and formed our army, they decided that the five of us would be our own bothers and sisters. I don't know how much knowledge about galra you possess, but we tend to form groups, people we spend most of our time with, and we tend to get possessive and protective of them, it's in our instincts, also, you do not have to be galra to be a part of a group, you can be a honorary member. "Lance titled his head in confusion, and Lotor smiled mischievously, which made him sweat, a nervous laugh bubbling in his stomach.

"Why...are you telling me this?"

"Because my generals will want to talk to you, and I'm pretty sure when they get to know you, they'll want to add you to our small family -he gaped- and once you're part of it, it's forever, they'll want to protect you and take care of you, I was only giving you a warning beforehand so it wouldn't surprise you." Lance scratched his cheek in a nervous gesture.

"I really don't think that's gonna happen, I mean, I'm nothing special, why would they want to be my sisters? They're too cool for me." The prince just smiled mysteriously, and hummed to himself, looking to the elevator door as it opened with a 'ding'.

"We'll see." And with a wave of his hand, this time more natural and less stiff than the last, he exited and Lance was left alone inside the elevator as it took him to the third floor. Being inside made him remember about that time he got trapped with Keith, and they had to work together to get out, it felt like it had been years since it happened.

The door opened again, and he left, heading for the right hallway, following the map's marked path, in seconds, he arrived at the door, Coran told him how to input his handprint and data, as well as activation by voice, so he had all the privacy he needed. When all the technical things were done, he put his hand on the panel and stepped inside, only to gape at the beautiful lodgings, Coran had told him it was a bedroom, not a friggin palace.

The chamber was as big as the control room, it had a twin sized bedroom on the right, just besides a big ass window where he could look at the stars, on the other side was a small kitchen, a small living room like area, and some shelves filled with altean trinkets. A little ways from the kitchen was a door that lead to an enormous bathroom fit for a god, everything was big, everything looked expensive, and everything looked, clean?

He ran for the bed, wanting to see if it would bounce, and it did, this was crazy, it was a room fit for a king, not for someone like Lance. He noticed a small tablet laying on the bedside table and curious, reached for it, a small note was scribbled on the screen.

_'I sent some droids to clean the room for you, I hope the place is to your liking, and I pray that you're able to return to your old room soon. Coran.'_

_'Jesus that man is a blessing.'_ He left his things on the floor, too tired to organize anything now, and threw himself onto the bed, the smooth sheets and soft mattress immediately lulling him to sleep, his last thought was that Coran deserved the world, and that he really hoped next day would be better and the universe wouldn't stomp over him again.

The universe said fuck you.

\--

He woke up to the comms blasting over the castle, the princess's voice echoing in Lance's chamber as he slowly awoke from the best sleep he'd had in weeks.

"Paladins, come to the control room immediately, we may have found a lead on the Black paladin." That last bit of information had Lance nearly trip over himself as he scrambled to put on his armor as fast as he could. He ran away, bayard in hand, and looked for the hatch that lead to the control room, Coran had marked it with a smiley face so Lance could find it, since he couldn't read altean. He put his hand on the panel, stepped inside and held onto the handle, them he was falling down quick, and in a few ticks, he was just before the door where Allura and his friends were waiting (probably), he squared his shoulders and walked through.

Everyone looked back at him as soon as they registered his presence, Allura was indifferent, Pidge nodded to him, Lotor smiled, Kolivan tilted his head, Hunk walked up to him and they fist bumped, and Keith....Keith glared at him with such ferocity he was scared he would spontaneously combust.

"Paladins, Pidge here has been working on deciphering the data that you found on Haggar's ship, she copied everything because she thought she saw the word _'champion'_ on their database, isn't that right?." She nodded to the green paladin and she stepped up, clicked some things, and a bunch of text Lance didn't understand showed up.

"Yeah, I've been working non stop, and I still don't have anything concrete, but just yesterday I managed to decode a really small part of this text, it's nothing big, it may be actually nothing at all, but it says _'champion', 'captive', 'experiment'_ and some coordinates at the end, the date is really old, like, years old, but time works in strange ways in space, so I thought it would be a good idea to check it out." She tapped some settings on the holo map, and a big, light blue planet showed up, it was full of snow and ice, and looked deserted and devoid of life.

"This is the planet the coordinates lead to, it says it's never been inhabited, years ago it was a trading post and a stop for ships to just rest before continuing with their journey. Right now, though, it's just a big, cold, round pile of ice." Pidge smiled a little at Lance, and he returned it, they still hadn't talked, but at least she didn't act as if he didn't exist.

"We need to go there and check, it may be nothing, but we could find clues on Shiro." Keith's voice sent shivers down Lance's spine, it was no longer warm with fire, now only the embers remained, being completely drenched by the ice that fell from his lips.

"I think we should go in Blue." It was Hunk who broke him out of his reverie, his head snapped up, his eyes wide as saucers, Keith's head turned back so fast it probably gave him whiplash, and Lance began sweating bullets, not liking being the center of attention.

"I mean, it's the logical thing to do, Blue was made for water and ice, I don't think the other lions will do as good in that weather, and is only for scouting, we shouldn't risk all the lions, right?" His best friend was right, but still, he didn't know if he was ready to be in the same closed space with the red paladin.

Allura seemed to think about it before humming and looking at Lance sternly, her gaze harder than steel. "I cannot go this time, as much as I want to, Coran has brought to my attention that the castleship has gained some damage that, if not fixed immediately, will cause grave problems in the future." Her eyes found Lance's and he swallowed, suddenly scared. "Lance -he flinched- you will pilot Blue with your fellow paladins to the planet, gather the intel needed, and return back, is that understood?" She was fierce while giving out her orders, no room to retort or reply, he just nodded and hoped she would leave him alone for now.

"You are dismissed, get ready and head for the Blue lion, you deploy in five." With that, everyone scattered, Lotor told Lance he was going to help the princess and Coran if they let him, Hunk ran to get some provisions and Pidge some decoders and other trinkets for the mission, then it was only red and blue left in the room, and Lance wanted to die.

He startled when Keith suddenly moved, walking straight to Lance, he stopped breathing when the other halted just a few feet away from him. A hand suddenly grasped his shoulder, hard, and he gasped, trembling sligtly, watching the red paladin from the corner of his eye.

"Don't fuck this up, McClain." His voice was full of venom, making Lance weak in the knees, he had called him that in the past, but it was always playful and without malice, now, though, it sounded full of disdain, like just muttering his name was despiteful. Keith gripped his shoulder harder, then let go and left through the door, with shaking hands, he touched the patch of skin where a bruise was sure to bloom soon and internally wept, this was just so many levels of fucked up, he stole one of Slav's lines, and hoped he had at least a 0.0001% chance of fixing things, it was better than 0%, at least.

He stood there for a few more seconds before forcing himself to move, heading for Blue's hangar, her presence had been a continuous stream of warmth and serenity that tried to calm him down, Red, on the other hand, had been growling at Keith like mad when he was... _'talking'_ with Lance, and hadn't stopped until he was gone. Now, though, she was whimpering slightly, her form curled up around him, trying to soothe his worries, she was in pain too, her paladin unknowingly blocking her out from being filled with such a great amount of hate that she could barely connect with him.

All the lions were suffering the consequences of his actions too, he mourned.

He walked there as fast as he could, and when he arrived all his teammates were already there, Hunk and Pidge smiled at him, though his best friend looked kind of worried, but Lance gave him a thumbs up and continued onwards. The red paladin was waiting just outside Blue's barrier, because his girl was absolutely mad at Keith and wouldn't let him inside until Lance said so. He cooed and beamed at her, his girl was the best and no one could tell him otherwise, she always stood up for him and loved him unconditionally, she kept him going.

With a quick movement he knocked on the particle barrier, and Blue's maw lowered and opened for him, he stalked up the ramp and walked to his seat, the other paladins standing behind him and holding onto the back of his chair. He powered all the systems and the console came online, a map with the route he had to follow showing up, he gripped the controls tight and flew outside of the castle, his maneuvers smooth and even.

The ride to the ice planet was silent, which filled Lance with nervousness and a need to break said silence, he was moving his leg up and down without respite, eyes darting everywhere and trying to distract himself, it wasn't working. Pidge and Hunk looked at each other, and, from what he could see, tried to say something, but everytime they opened their mouths, they seemed to regret it and close it again, glancing worriedly at Keith, then at Lance.

He felt like he was trapped in a cage with a Lion - a literal lion this time.

He could feel Keith's eyes boring holes into his back, could hear his teeth grinding, the tension was so thick you could physically see it, his muscles were tense and he was sweating bullets, fingers twitching periodically, he wouldn't be able to take much more of this.

Blue, his saving grace and goddess, alerted him that they were near the planet and he nearly cried in relief, from what Lance could see, the planet was big, like, twice as big as Earth, it was mostly filled with ice, stalagmites growing tall into the distance in different shapes and sizes, snow falling in some parts of the land while others, though snow covered, had clear skies.

He steered Blue towards one of the clear patches of land, and managed to set down without a hitc. On the cold, deserted land, his girl thrived, her energy was boosted ten fold and her quintessence resonated with the one in the planet, making her sing, if this was a trap, she would be able to obliterate any enemy in a tick, no doubt about it.

She purred in delight at the thought, the low temperature and snow coated earth feeling like home to her, and by default, to Lance too.

They left the comfort of her cockpit and touched down on the ground, their armors barely keeping the cold at bay, and looked around for any possible hint about Shiro's whereabouts, there was nothing in sight, no houses, no destroyed or outdated outposts, no signs of Galra...nothing. They split up, each paladin scanning a patch of land with their speeder to look for something, anything that would help, Keith had been very adamant about them not giving up, he was desperate, wanting to find his brother more than anything after weeks of searching, his face the depiction of hopelessness.

Lance had wanted to reassure him, to tell him it would be alright, but then the red paladin had looked his way, mouth into a sneer and eyes hateful and dark, and had told him with a snarl _" Don't do anything stupid, McClain"_ , in any other instance, he may have taken it as worry, as a way of Keith saying _'Don't die'_ , but right now the meaning was very clear _'Don't get any ideas, do anything suspicious and you're out'._ It burnt.

They investigated for hours, the yellow and green paladins complaining about the cold every few minutes, while Lance enjoyed the temperature, thanks to Blue, and felt rejuvenated and full of energy instead of tired and sore like his friends. But they still found nothing, zero, zilch, nada. Maybe it was useless, maybe the lead didn't mean anything, Pidge had said it was years old, maybe they had been talking about another Champion, he knew Shiro hadn't been the first one, he didn't want to lose hope, but, the situation was looking very bleak.

Just as he was thinking about telling the team it was better to go back to the castle, Pidge spoke through the comms.

“Find anything, guys?” Her small voice sounded far away and tired, most likely from the cold.

“Nothing here, just a whole bunch of snow and ice, I wonder if I could make smoothies out of this?” His best friend was chipper as always, trying to see the good side of any situation.

“Continue searching, there has to be _something.”_ Keith's tone was mildly hysterical and a bit desperate, he probably didn't want them to leave the planet with their hands empty, but so far it was completely abandoned,not a soul in sight.

“Sure thing.” Hunk cut out after some murmuring, wondering if the snow could be suitable for human consumption.

“Hey, I just saw a cave on the side of the mountain, I'm gonna check it out, I'll contact you if I find anything.” With that Pidge disconnected and Keith followed suit, never giving Lance a chance to reply or report the situation. Even if said situation was _'There's absolutely nothing here'._

He decided not to move from where he was, just, sat inside his speeder and got lost within his thoughts, it was pretty obvious not a soul lived in the planet, they weren't going to find anything of use here, but he knew the red paladin wasn't going to give up, they would stay here all day and end up sore and cold just because he didn't know when to stop.

He was brought out of his musings by a shriek that cut through the silence so suddenly, he banged his head on the roof of his vehicle.

“What, what? Pidge? What happened? Are you okay?” He asked quickly, worried that his teammate had been hurt or something worse.

“Jesus, fuck, what the hell? Holy shit! Why did you- How did you even-?” The green paladin seemed busy, shouting at whatever had spooked her enough to curse, there were some deep breaths that followed, Hunk and Keith both asking what was wrong and if she needed back up.

Then, abruptly, she laughed, equal parts giddy and amused, then spoke, sounding breathless and hyped.

"Guys, guys I found him!! Holy shit, I found him!! I found Shiro!" _What?_ He whipped around to where Pidge's voice had come from, there was absolutely no way, the place was completely abandoned, no sight of anyone, or life in general, and there was no way to survive in this weather, no food, and water must have been a bitch to get, it was impossible, too good to be true, Lance trusted his instincts, and they were telling him something wasn't right.

He leaped into his speeder and fled towards the coordinates the green paladin had sent, he could see the red vehicle to his left, going at twice the speed he was, nearly crashing into some ice pillars in his haste, he watched until the red paladin disappeared behind a mountain, and willed himself to go faster, because it couldn't be, it just... _couldn't._

He arrived a few minutes later to watch all the paladins surrounding something, or rather, someone, he couldn't see very well from where he was standing, so he slowly got closer, he caught snippets of galra slave clothes, the typical black and purple Shiro wore the first time they met, then saw bits of white from the mess of black that was Keith's hair, who was hugging the other man so tight he was probably hurting himself.

He didn't even register his teammates voice's, he was mesmerized by the scene before him, the red paladin looked at peace, he was smiling, one of those tiny honest smiles he reserved for when he was really and truly happy, his eyes were closed, a few tears on the corners getting caught on his eyelashes, and he had his head resting on the other's chest, his arms around his back and just squeezing the life out of him.

As soon as Keith opened his eyes, though, the moment was shattered, his eyes landed on Lance, and once again his expression turned sour, eyes narrowing, and then he turned away, every time the red paladin as much as looked at him, he trembled, a tiny silver of fear getting hold of his heart, holding it in a vice and making it hard to breathe.

He resigned himself to deal with Keith's hate in the best way he could for now, ignoring it.

His friends were still shouting, and he noticed happy tears flowing down their cheeks, smiles so wide it looked like they hurt, Hunk getting close to Keith and giving him and the other a good old smack on the back, and then a hug that looked like it could destroy a grown man. Pidge just smiled, approached them and kicked the older man in the shin, smirking and screaming about _'Vanishing into thin air'_ and being _'Irresponsible',_ to which the other laughed, apologizing profusely, then letting out a...pun?

And replying with _"It wasn't my fault, really, don't know what happened."_

The sound of his voice was foreign, Lance had the feeling it didn't sound right, it was...too young, the pitch not quite right, and the way he ha expressed himself...it made something nasty crawl down his spine and the hairs on the back of his neck stood on end.

He finally moved his gaze away from Pidge and glanced up, up, and when he did...his heart stopped, his eyes blown wide and words stuck in his throat, Shiro...Shiro........that was not Shiro,was it?. It was wrong, wrong, his hair was way too long, down his shoulders, the white patch still present, he had a bit of stubble on his chin and a smile too wide to belong to their calm and collected leader, he was private about his emotions, he saved his smiles for when he really thought they were needed.

But the thing that made his skin crawl were his eyes, they looked normally brown, but when the light reflected right...he could see red, saw how the pupil enlarged and shrinked like a...like a.....

Like a camera lens.

He freaked, eyes darting around for someone, anyone that could help, he found Hunk walking towards him and held onto his arm like his life depended on it, the other complied and even crouched down a little when Lance began whispering into his ear.

"Hunk...who, who is that? What's up with his hair and...and eyes?" His friend looked confused, he tilted his head right and frowned, a hand shooting towards Lance's forehead.

"Dude, are you sick? That's Shiro? Our friend and leader?" He shook his head, _no, no, no, it was wrong, he was wrong, not right, not right._

He didn't know where those thoughts were coming from, it was like his whole being, the core of what made him, was rejecting what he was seeing with a fierce determination. It scared him, made him reach subconsciously for Black, and he reached back, his rumbling a calming hand that managed to soothe his nerves, the lion didn't know what was going on either, but managed to send him the gist of it, it was something to do with his quintessence ( yet a-fucking-gain ), it was a warning, a premonition, a sense of foreboding.

It basically spelled _'Be cautious, something isn't right, do not trust'._

He turned towards Hunk once he calmed down, the other so worried now his frown had deepened. "Hunk, buddy, what's up with...Shiro's hair? It looks, long?" His friend looked back at the happy group as they talked, beaming up at their leader, and shrugged.

"It's been a few weeks, it's normal that it's grown a few inches, but it looks more or less the same as before? I mean, I know you're a member of the fashion police, but man, you scared me there." Hunk giggled and Lance paled, what did he mean, a few inches? It had grown more than ten! It reached his shoulders! And his eyes...his eyes...

"But, bro, what about his eyes?" He was trying to be inconspicuous, get all the info he could get before analyzing the situation.

"Jeez man, this is kinda weird, I don't know what you want me to tell you, they look the same? The same dull brown, nearly black color as always? Looking kinda tired, but alive, which is what matters." He separated himself from Hunk, and told him he was going to get a blanket out of the speeder for Shiro. As soon as his friend left and he was back at his vehicle, he wheezed, knees giving out and hands holding his forearms, _same as before, same?_

They looked wrong. They were too big, too innocent, they were red, his hair too long, his voice too young, his demeanor too open, his posture laid back, _wrong, wrong, wrong._

He breathed through his nose and massaged his temples, feeling a headache coming in, Black was still trying to reassure him that things would be okay, even if the lion himself didn't understand what was going on, he stood up, took the blanket, and walked towards his team, trying not to bolt and run away, the desire to do so was overwhelming.

When he arrived and offered the blanket to Shiro, he received a blinding smile for his efforts, and his leader hugged him tight, freezing Lance on the spot.

"Lance!! I'm so glad to see you, I'm happy you guys found me." He let go and threw the blanket over himself. "I've been living in that cave over there -he pointed to a small hole on the side of the mountain- since I managed to escape the galran ship I was prisoner in. So I really appreciate any warmth I can get." And then he giggled, he honest to god giggled, and Lance died a little, the feeling of wanting to be far far away from Shiro increasing.

Shiro turned to talk to the yellow paladin and he took this opportunity to talk to Pidge, he asked about the other's hair and eyes, his behavior and stuff in general. Her answers just filled him with more apprehension and dread.

"We were expecting clues on how to find you, not actually finding you, it was pure luck you crashed on this planet." Pidge said, punching the older man on the arm. "The pod must have had archived coordinates to the planet closest to the galra ship for emergency landings, and that's how you managed to get here, otherwise you would have just exploded in space." Hunk gagged and Keith hissed, gaze fierce and posture protective, Shiro laughed.

Lance watched from afar, not noticing when he had slowly inched away, silently and stealthily, his body moving on it's own without his consent, instincts kicking in and going on autopilot. His eyes burned from not blinking, but he couldn't tear his eyes away, the others didn't see what he saw, they were getting two kind of different visions, and if Lance was the only one who saw something strange and it had to do with quintessence....

Then something was really really wrong and he had to find out what it was.

His eyes watered with the strain of being held open for far too long, and a tick later, against his will, they closed. He was too scared to open them again so soon, so he breathed in, and out, in, out, until he felt his muscles relax and frown disappear, then, clenching his teeth and his fists, he opened them, slowly, so slow....his gaze was first on the floor, then moved up, up, up, and landed on Shiro.

For a second, he felt like he was drunk, his vision fuzzy and out of focus, two different versions of Shiro overlaying and mixing together, a mess of colors, sounds and auras, - _that's what he was going to call quintessence, because the word was too long and he needed a code word for it, thus, Auras_ \- the auras bled blue, then black, then blue again, and they melted and joined together, and when the swirling mess stopped and Lance finally felt grounded, his eyes focused, and he just saw Shiro.

No weird hairdo, no strange creepy eyes, nothing. Just the image of his leader and friend as he remembered him, hair slighty longer but not making much of a difference from before, eyes crinkling in delight when he was told they were going _'home'._ The feeling of wanting to run away had disappeared along with the image he had seen, and he didn't feel like puking anymore.

But the feeling of dread and the memory of those red eyes stayed with him all the way to his speeder, it remained as they boarded Blue, as he flew to the castle, as Allura tearfully hugged Shiro, as Coran got him new clothes, as they ate dinner together, as they said their goodbyes and walked to their rooms, as he laid down to try and sleep in his bed, willing the nightmares away.

Even as he dreamed, it remained.

 


	5. Lies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After finding Shiro on that ice planet, things seem to go back to normal at the castle, everyone is happy their leader is back in one piece, everyone but Lance, who is overcome with distrust and a strange feeling of foreboding that leaves him trembling with unease.
> 
> With Black unable to explain what seems to be wrong with his paladin, plus his unusual behavior and mannerisms, Lance's discomfort only grows as the days pass by, each interaction between him and the black paladin leaving him baffled and uncomfortable, frozen with bewilderment.
> 
> Later, Lance would regret not thinking things through, his decisions causing a chain of events that would lead to a short road full of suffering for him, ending in disaster. Though he managed to discover some important things that he would later use to his advantage, so not everything had been in vain, he'd just fucked up a little.
> 
> It was a good thing he could begin from zero.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here I am! I promised an early update, didn't I? I wanted to post this chaper sooner for various reasons, one being that Voltron S4 is airing tomorrow (I'm vibrating with excitement), so to celebrate, I decided to post the next chapter. Another reason was that last chaper i promised an early update, and even though it's still quite soon, I did it anyway, because I was also really excited about this arc, so yay for the plot moving on?  
> Next chapter more shit is going down and the arc keeps moving forward, hope you enjoy this as much as I did.  
> As always, thanks to everyone who commented (you add ten years to my lifespan everytime), bookmarked, suscribed, left Kudos or just took the time to read this fic, you're all wonderful and I love you.  
> Love, ULTI.<3

* * *

 

As soon as he came back to consciousness, he wished he hadn't, he was absolutely comfortable where he was, his bed was warm and cozy, the fluffy sheets caressing his skin, the silky feeling making him sigh and nuzzle his head on his pillow, which was pretty much a frigging cloud, so soft and squeezable. He never wanted to get up, just lay there and forget about everything, he would live on that room forever, just him, his sweet bed and a cup of space coffee.

It was a nice thought.

Too bad reality had other plans for him.

He soon remembered what had happened yesterday, and a full on shiver ran down his spine, the hairs on the back of his neck stood on end as his eyes opened wide, the vision of that strange Shiro and his features getting to the forefront of his mind, although it was slowly blurring, the details distorting and losing focus, which gave him the creeps.

He slowly got up, a groan leaving his lips when his bones popped and his joints cracked, he had slept really good, didn't remember the last time he felt so refreshed, he had some nightmares, yeah, but he managed to drive them away by cooking some space toast on his small kitchen. If that didn't work, he would take a bubble bath on his god-like bathtub, and after that? He was out like a light.

He made himself some breakfast, following Coran's instructions scribbled on some note pad-like computer, and sat on the small table to eat, it was different not being with the others in the morning, Hunk would probably be really worried, but he didn't mind eating alone, the silence was peaceful, calming, and it left him time to think, time to put his ideas in order and go through yesterday's events.

But he couldn't do it alone, he needed to talk it out with someone....still, when they came back from the ice planet, Kolivan had told him that Slav had gone away, ran to another facility to work on some project he had in mind, it was probably a way to distance himself from people, to run away. It wasn't like the engineer didn't like socializing, but he had admitted to Lance that with so much knowledge of what _could_ happen, he was scared of getting close to people, because he saw their deaths, their struggles, and every single thing that could go wrong in their lives. He saw the good things too, of course, but the uncertainty of not knowing if some of those terrible futures were going to happen in his own reality, made him seek isolation, to try and spare himself the pain of watching those he held dear suffer, by _not meeting them at all._

It was sad, yeah, and he had confessed to Lance that he considered him a good friend, and that it was painful to watch as he endured so many hardships and difficulties, whilst he couldn't do anything but watch. He had reassured the other that it was fine, that he was _okay_ , but the alien had just smiled sadly and waved at him as he left.

So, as of now, talking with Slav was a no go, and he couldn't really share this with his teammates, not yet, at least, so he did the next best thing, he called for the lions. As soon as he reached to them, the five presences made themselves known, cuddling around him and grumbling softly, Blue nuzzling her non-physical head on his neck, purring gently.

"Okay, so, we need to talk -the rumbling stopped and the presences stilled, waiting- yesterday, something really strange happened, and I'm trying super hard not to freak out about it." An affirmative noise was his cue to continue. " I saw something that I don't know if it's real or not, it made me think for a second that maybe I caught sight of a Shiro from another reality, since Slav said they exist, and that his image just overlapped over our Shiro's." A confused, but otherwise negative rumble told him that was off mark, he already kinda knew this, but confirmation was always good.

"Yeah, I thought so, his aura was just...wrong for a minute there, and his voice and everything else....it made my skin crawl, I just wanted to run away. But then the vision was gone and it was just...Shiro, our friend, nothing strange about him, no creepy feeling making me paranoid, except maybe his behavior, but I haven't talked to him yet, so maybe I'm just overreacting? I just, don't know what to think, Black said something about quintessence, about mine and Shiro's, maybe what happened was just a side effect of my... _'condition'_?" The lions pondered about it, but ultimately didn't have an answer for him other than _'We don't know what's wrong, but something's not right'_ , so he resigned himself to observe, keep an eye on his leader and pray that his previous mindfuck had been just a mistake, something his mind had made up or...or, or an hallucination, he had enough troubles already, he definetly didn't need this to add to his list.

Putting his plate on the sink, he walked over to his wardrobe and dressed in his usual clothes, the lions asking if he wanted them to stay or go, he smiled and replied that they could leave, he didn't want to monopolize them, they deserved some free time too. They sent him a wave of gratefulness and disappeared like mist, leaving him to wonder what he shoud do next. Of course he knew what he needed to do, but that didn't mean that he wanted to, he was reluctant, but knew he would have to join the others sooner or later in the common room, to talk about what happened to Shiro, at least.

He wasn't looking forward to that. Now that their true leader was back, Lance was probably gonna be kicked out of the team, he hadn't wanted to share this with Blue or the others, but he had a feeling they knew anyway, Allura could pilot Blue, Keith would go back to Red, and Shiro would return to Black...that left Lance as the odd one out. He had been a replacement, both in the Garrison and in space, and now that he had outrun his usefulness, they were most likely going to leave him out, as an emergency paladin or something like that, it wasn't like they weren't itching to do it, anyway, they were still pretty pissed about Lotor's ordeal and stuff.

It really hurt, to think that he was so insignificant, that he wasn't needed, that he could be replaced so easily, but he knew the lions loved him, that Lotor trusted him and would stand up for him, that Slav cared, in his own way. So it was okay, as long as they let him stay in the castle, even just helping on the sidelines, he would be satisfied, he had his redos, he could research about it, try and find how to turn it into something useful, something that he could use to help his teammates, he wasn't going to quit, he was a _Defender of the Universe_ , and they could try to snatch that title out of his cold, dead hands.

With renewed determination, he left the comfort of his room and walked to the elevator, going inside and pressing the button to the first floor, on the way down, though, the door opened and a frustrated looking Lotor walked in, grumbling a _'Good morning'_ before leaning against the wall to his left and letting out a tired sigh.

"Good morning? Is everything okay?" The prince looked absolutely exhausted, and it worried Lance that maybe the Blade's guys had been harassing him or smothering him with a too tight surveillance. The galran glanced at him and smiled, his eyes shining in the dim lights.

"No, everything is fine, the Blade's members have been very welcoming, if that's what you're worried about -he blushed, was he really so predictable?- but my generals on the other hand...." He ran a hand through his hair, and now that Lance paid more attention, the prince looked disheveled and had dark circles under his eyes, like he hadn't slept enough." They are worried about me, way too protective, if you ask me, they know I can defend myself just fine, but as my sisters, their instincts scream at them to protect, to care for, and since they can't be here in person to do it, they have been calling me non stop for the past few days." The blue paladin chuckled, good god, Lotor's sisters were really something, he was really looking forward to meeting them, he hoped they would like him.

"So, basically, I'm sleepy, and my throat hurts from talking too much with them, and I wanted to take a bath, but..." He gazed sideways at Lance, a worried frown settling on his features "But I heard you found the black paladin and brought him back, so I wanted to greet him and get to know him, but I also wanted to be there for you -Lance tilted his head in confusion- your teammates will probably relay to him what happened in the last few weeks, yes? So I wanted to be there to support you in the event that the black paladin doesn't take the news well." He beamed, happy to have Lotor's support, he hadn't even thought about Shiro getting mad about that situation in particular, but now that the idea was in his head, he shivered just thinking about it, about how disappointed and pissed the older paladin would get.

"It's fine." He lied to the prince "I can take whatever they throw at me, I know that to some extent, I fucked up, even if I don't regret my choices, so I will understand if Shiro gets mad, I just hope he won't hold a grudge like the others." He was mainly referring to Allura and Keith, who still wouldn't talk to him unless necessary, Pidge seemed indifferent, still a bit distant, but she had been giving him signals that she wanted to speak with him soon, so he was hopeful about their friendship, at least.

"I see, if that's how you truly feel, I will respect your wishes, but I will still stand by your side, and I will, in no way, allow any kind of disrespect to your person, not in my presence." He smiled bashfully, his gaze darting to the floor, the prince was way too good to him, it made him feel warm inside to know that the other cared for him to such an extent.

"Thanks, I really appreciate it." they both smiled at each other, Lance giggling a bit when Lotor's communicator bleeped angrily, the prince ignoring it in favor of exiting the elevator that had opened it's door with the classic _'ding'_ sound.

Both of them chatted about random things that occurred to them as they walked to the lounge, where most of the paladins probably were, in the short trek there he learnt a few more things about Lotor, for example, galra have really sensitive eyes, and with a bit of research they had discovered that dull colors, such as dark purple, greys, black and brown, where the ones they were more comfortable with, except magenta, they didn't know why, but their species loved that color, no reason. Lance had laughed and explained that his favorite color was blue, because it reminded him of the ocean, because it represented calm, adaptability, tranquility, and it was also the color of his lion, Blue, which he loves dearly.

He also learnt that Lotor could play something similar to the piano, if he understood his explanation right, and the blue paladin had beamed, talking excitedly about his old violin and how much he used to love playing it, then he got depressed because he had left it at home.

The prince also seemed to enjoy animals, cats in particular, or the alien equivalent to cats, and he had agreed, cats were the best thing in the universe, and Lotor promised that he could pet Narti's cat as soon as they got to the castle, he vibrated in anticipation. Then their talk deviated somehow (Lance still couldn't figure out how) into sexuality.

The galran explained that his species never really cared about things like gender, they had a wide spectrum of them, and respected each individual's choice, but ultimately their unions had been about love, and that's all that mattered, Lance then shared his own stories, about coming out as Bisexual, about the different types of sexualities and genders on Earth, and the prince listened attently, eager to learn more about a culture he knew nothing about.

Eventually they found theselves in front of the lounge door, Lance apprehensive about going in, but the prince made that decision for him, chin held high and eyes alight with determination, he put his hand on the panel and the door opened with a whirring sound, both of them walking in as casual as they could.

Instantly, four pair of eyes landed on him, making him uncomfortable and jittery, like he wasn't welcomed, that feeling stopped as soon as his best friend waved at him and hugged him in a greeting, tight and full of warmth, he relaxed almost instantly.

"Good morning Lance! Are you okay? You weren't at breakfast this morning, have you eaten? Do you want some food goo? I saved you some." Jeez, Hunk was really the best friend a guy could ask for, he grinned and patted his friend's back, suddenly feeling lighter.

"Nah man, I'm good, I had some leftovers in my room that I ate, but I really appreciate it, big guy." The yellow paladin smiled wide, gazing at Lotor and greeting him too, the prince replying with a nod of his head and a smile of his own.

From the couch, Pidge waved at them and then got back to whatever she was doing, her fingers typing at the speed of light, Allura was sitting a little ways to her right, hand clenching and unclenching on her skirt, eyes darting around and eventually fixing on the floor. A set of eyes had yet to leave him, though, they were boring holes into him, as if they wanted to make him combust with their intensity alone, it seemed plausible, Lance sure felt like melting into a puddle and disappearing, he knew who those eyes belonged to, but he wasn't going to give in and look at him, no sir, he was gonna _ignore_ , he was really good at that.

Side by side with Lotor, they sat down on the couch and just...waited, they were probably expecting Shiro soon, there was no other reason for all of them to be there, except Coran, he didn't know where his awesome space uncle was, but he was sure he would appear sooner or later. He was getting fidgety, the room was in complete silence save the typing sounds Pidge was making, and it was really uncomfortable, he noticed his breathing had quickened and battled to get it back to normal, his hands reaching for something to hold, and eventually latching onto Lotor's sleeve, he was embarrassed that he was acting like a child, but the prince didn't seem to mind.

He thanked every god he knew when the door opened and their leader strided in, smile lighting up his face and eyes crinkling at the corners, making him look younger than he was.

"Good morning, everyone." He was chipper, looking well rested and happy, but the sound of his voice still sent shivers down Lance's body, it didn't sound right, no matter what anyone said, the pitch was a little higher than normal, and his body language spoke volumes. He was open with his feelings, showcasing them to the world, no barrier between him and his teammates, that was supposed to be a good thing, but...the old Shiro wouldn't have done it, not so openly, at least.

Allura got up from her place on the couch and hugged him softly, a beautiful smile lighting up her face "Good morning, Shiro, have you slept well? Do you hurt anywhere?" She sounded worried but happy nonetheless, she looked at Shiro like he was the most important thing in the world at the moment, and for her, maybe he was. He realized as she gazed at their leader, a delicate hand holding his forearm and a lovely grin framing her features, that he never had a chance with her in the first place, it was a realization that he already kinda knew, and it didn't hurt as much as he thought it would, maybe it was the fact that he had more important things to worry about right now, but it was nice to have some sort of closure.

"I'm fine, princess, no need to worry, I had a good nights sleep and I feel better than ever." He returned her smile and she blushed slightly before retreating back to the couch, Shiro following and plopping down just besides Hunk, his gaze roaming around before stopping at Lotor and Lance, it put the blue paladin on edge, wanting to run away again, albeit for different reasons than last time, it was like he had an itch that he wanted to scratch so bad, but couldn't, it was infuriating.

"Lance..., yesterday, after you left to sleep, the others and I remained for a while longer, they told me more or less about what happened with...Prince Lotor, am I right?" The galran nodded, eyes harder than steel and teeth clenched. "I have to say, what you did was very irresponsible -he flinched, here it comes- you didn't think of the team or the consequences that could arise from your actions, you put everyone and Voltron in danger. I expected better from you, I'm very disappointed." Yep, that's exactly what he knew Shiro would say, it sucked, but he knew he had it coming, so it didn't hurt as much, though he still felt like crying, he exhaled and raised his head, his eyes locking with his leader's.

"I know that, you don't have to tell me, I think that point has already been made, I find it's more important that we talk about what happened to you, don't you think?" From behind, he heard a growl, and Shiro's eyes widened at his snappy tone, but he was tired of hearing the same thing again and again, if they couldn't let it go and focus on other, more important things, Lance would make them, he had no problem redirecting conversations to go where he wanted.

"That's right, you should tell us what happened, it's been weeks since you just...poofed." Hunk, bless his soul, intervened to back him up, and the others nodded, now curious as well , wanting to know what their leader had been up to.

"It's difficult to explain, honestly, I remember being on Black and defeating Zarkon with his... _my_ bayard, after that it kind of, grew dark around me, I could see and hear nothing but a faint buzzing sound, like the rumble of engines. Then I opened my eyes and I was on that galran ship, I couldn't say exactly how many days had passed, or what they did to me, it's all fuzzy and hazy, but I remember one time they left me alone, and they forgot to lock the door, thought I was unconscious." He paused, his hands clenching and eyes narrowing to slits.

"I saw a chance and I took it, I managed to break free and run to the hangars, I think...I saw something as I hurried there, but it's out of focus and kind of blurry, I just...know it wasn't pleasant. I arrived at the hangars and managed to steal a vehicle, but the alarms blared and as soon as I launched, other battleships followed me, shooting at me and trying to take me down, I lost them somehow, but one of my engines got blown, so I put in the emergency commands and crashed on the ice planet you found me in." He breathed in and out slowly, his voice sounding tired and worn, a hand found his way to his shoulder, a hand that belonged to one red paladin, he squeezed Shiro's shoulder and gave him an encouraging half smile, trying to be supportive, his brother smiled back.

"After that I wandered around until I found the cave, it was small and cramped, but it was better than freezing to death, it was also dry and the wind didn't get in, so that was a plus. I melted snow to get water and ate anything I could find, which wasn't much, there were some small plants under the snow that could be eaten raw, as I saw some sort of gecko? eat one and don't die, so I lived off on that and hoped to find anything that would let me send a distress signal. I found nothing, and every day I could find less and less food, if I'm being honest, I don't think I'd have survived another day if you guys didn't find me, so, thanks." He gazed at everyone with gratefulness in his eyes and a look that softened his features and made him look...vulnerable, it wasn't something that Lance, or the other paladins, for that matter, usually saw, their leader kept a tight lid on his emotions, trying his best to be mature and don't let their squabbles and fights condition his decisions, he always did what was best for the team, and was never selfish or asking something for himself.

"I see, it must have been difficult, we are glad you're back home, Shiro." Allura's voice was filled with joy and understanding, her body language saying she was completely at ease and relaxed in his presence, Lance wished he could feel like that as well.

"Yeah, dude, you better not poof into nothingness again, or god help me I'm gonna kick your shin so hard you're going to need a new prosthetic." Pidge's eyes held seriousness in them, even though her tone betrayed her fondness, but their leader just laughed, the loud sound coming from deep inside his belly and booming around the room, startling Lance.

"I'll try my best - _you better!_ \- but as nice as it was seeing you guys again, I'm missing someone a lot, so I think it's time I go see him." Lance straightened on his seat, he was pretty sure he was referring to Black, and oh man, didn't that make him nervous for some reason, his eyes darted around until they found Hunk, his friend tilting his head in a silent question, but he just shook his head, he had nothing concrete to say, just a bunch of feelings and a sense of foreboding that made him tremble slightly.

"Ahh, I understand, Black is on his hangar, as always, I think it would be a good idea to go there together, it'll be a nice bonding exercise." The others agreed, and as they got up to leave the prince excused himself, saying he would wait on the kitchens, and sent a meaningful look Lance's way, he waved Lotor goodbye with a _'Don't worry'_ kind of smile and joined his companions outside the room.

As soon as the door closed, they began their small walk through the hallways, the paladins chatting up with Shiro as if he never left, and if him being talkative wasn't strange enough, he actually commented on Keith's leadership skills, saying something along the lines of _'I'm sure he must have been difficult'_ and _' I hope he didn't make you suffer too much'_ and then grinned, and god, why couldn't the others see how wrong that behavior was? Was it just him? Was he crazy? He knew Shiro loved Keith like a brother, he would never badmouth him, even if it was just implied and not said directly. Why didn't they _see_? Maybe Lance was biased because of what he had seen on that ice planet? Maybe his distrust came from that?

Or maybe he didn't know or understand Shiro good enough, maybe when he opened up, that was how he acted, his real personality, it was plausible. He was his idol, someone he admired from afar, he had some preconceived ideas about him that may not be true, but even thought he didn't know him personally like Keith did, he liked to think that he knew his friend good enough to notice, at least, when something was totally off course.

They walked to the lions, the others talking about things that happened while their leader was away and other random things. Lance stayed on the back of the group, his eyes never leaving Shiro's back, like he was waiting for something to happen, though he didn't know what.

They reached the hangars without a problem, and the black paladin walked ahead until he was a few feet in front of his lion, his mouth stretching wide to form a bright grin, he looked up and waved shyly, greeting his mechanical friend. The others stood in silence, waiting, but nothing happened, no whirring sound or clinking of metal as the lion's maw hit the floor, the room was silent and still, only their breaths echoing through.

On the back of his mind Lance heard Black whine sadly, curling around him seeking comfort, the blue paladin worriedly reached back, metaphorically petting his head and asking what was wrong. The lion couldn't really explain, he himself was confused and hurt, he seeked that connection, that bond that united him and Shiro, but all he found was a mess of strings and colors, switches and labyrinths that he couldn't understand, something had changed, it was _different_ , he couldn't grasp what was wrong, but it just was, and Black couldn't accept him.

Shiro looked hurt and sad when Black didn't open up for him, and when he walked a few steps forward, intent on bonding with his lion again, the particle barrier emerged and the black paladin flinched back as if struck, his eyes wide and mouth agape.

Inside Lance's mind Black mourned, he howled and cried softly, his confusion and pain hurting the blue paladin too, heart aching so bad he couldn't breathe for a second, rejecting Shiro made his lion cry, made him grieve, everything was distorted and out of place, he didn't want to hurt his paladin, but he didn't have a choice, it felt _wrong_.

"Black....why are you doing this? What's wrong? It's me, your paladin, we bonded, you saved me from Zarkon on the astral plane....don't you remember?" The older man put his hand on the particle barrier, a frown creasing his brows, mouth a thin line and eyes full of displeasure, he receeded, arms falling limp to his side as a sigh left his mouth.

He turned around and looked at everyone before his gaze settled on Lance, frown increasing in intensity. "Something's not right, I think there's something that's upsetting him. I have a feeling it has to do with Lotor's presence on the castle, Black is afraid and wary, it may be because he once had a bond with Zarkon, and he's related to him. I don't think he'll let anyone inside." Lance blanched, the prince wasn't even in the room, what kind of excuse was that? It didn't even make any sense? The first time, after the fight with Lotor, it was Black who brought them back to the castle.

What was Shiro thinking? It was obvious that Black was distressed and suffering, and it was clear as day that whatever was happening was related to his paladin, redirecting the attention to others so they wouldn't question him? That wasn't something their honest leader would do, not in any reality.

To prove his point Lance stalked forward, his strides determined and filled with purpose, he stood right before the barrier and Black whined in a silent question, still hurt and confused, but willing, always willing to help Blue's cub. The blue paladin rapped his knuckles gently on the dome and with a quiet purr the energy dissipated, allowing him to pass through and sit on the mechanical paw a few feet before him.

"I don't think that's it, Shiro." From behind four sets of widened eyes and awestruck expressions, the red paladin glared, as if it was a grave offence to prove their leader wrong, but Lance wasn't going to let everyone walk all over him or Lotor when the prince wasn't even present to defend himself. It was time they stopped trying to blame them for everything that suddenly went wrong.

Their leader looked ashamed, head bowing and fists clenching as he bit his lip, but he recovered quickly, his composure coming back and an apologetic smile thrown Lance's way, body language subdued and muscles lax.

"You're right, Lance, I shouldn't just assume like that. It seems Black has chosen Keith and wants him to stay as his paladin a while longer, we don't have many options, so we'll have to respect and accept his decision." Lance relaxed at his words, for some reason, even though his relationship with Keith was shaky at best, having him as a leader as opposed to Shiro sounded like the most wonderful thing in the world, even if the red paladin would hardly talk to him. But just the idea of the older man leading them and being in charge made him sweat and chant a string of ' _no no no'_ , leaving him perplexed as to why, Black growled, an emotion that said _'God, I know how you feel'_ flowing into him, it seemed confusion was the most popular feeling for the lions and Lance right now.

Seeing as they could do nothing about Black right now, they left, Allura trying to comfort Shiro with kind words, telling him not to worry, that his lion would recognize him soon, that maybe he needed time, or was confused (they weren't wrong) because changing paladins so soon must be taxing for them as well.

The other just smiled at her and thanked the princess for her efforts, but the smile didn't reach his eyes and Lance felt his own narrow in distrust, it made him feel inadequate, suspecting his idol of god knows what, but it was deeply ingrained in his core, his whole being and soul telling him to be wary, and when every muscle and every nerve is telling you to do something, you cannot deny, you follow through your instincts to whatever endgame they take you to.

And right now, said endgame was to discover what was different with the black paladin, even if it made him anxious, even if just thinking about being alone with the other made him panic, even if he trembled and fidgeted like mad trying to calm his nerves. He was a man on a mission, and by god he was going to reveal whatever mystery was hiding in the dark crevices of his friend's mind.

While he rambled to himself and lost all sense of reality for a few minutes, Hunk and Pidge tried to interrogate him, asking him how and why Black had let him in among other questions that he couldn't catch because he was too distracted by his own thoughts.

"Mmm? Well, it's not like I did anything. The lions know all of us, they trust us, to some extent, it's obvious Blue loves me the best, for example, and I'm always her top priority, but that doesn't mean that if Red saw me in danger she wouldn't come help. You get what I mean?" Pidge held her chin in wonder, her genius brain probably going a mile per hour, deciphering, comparing theories and possibilities before beaming up at him, a toothy grin taking over her face and eyes shining with delight.

"So that means that the lions like all of us, even if it's just a little, that means they are open to form more bonds, and if we managed that, if we created a connection between all of us, we could be more of a unit than we are now, make Voltron more powerful, unstoppable. Of course they won't let us in their cockpit unless the situation desperately calls for it, but if anyone of us was in danger, they would come and help, and even let us pilot them if it was needed, just like when Keith piloted Black to save Shiro back then." Shiro nodded absentmindedly from the front of their group, seemingly listening in on their conversation, Keith nodded as well from Shiro's right, adding his two cents about the lions and the bonds.

Although, everyone knew that it was virtually impossible to form Voltron right now, and even less of a possibility to form more bonds in between them, the ones they already had were cracked _(like Pidge's and his)_ , while others were completely broken _(like Keith's and his_ ) and some were completely nonexistent ( _like his and Shiro's, which he still had to figure out)._

Right now they were on a vulnerable state, not able to unite and be whole, not able to trust and rely on their companions, some connections could be saved, Pidge was looking at him from the corner of her eye, fidgeting slightly, a clear signal she wanted some alone time with him to talk. But as for the others....rigth now he didn't know what it would take to mend the tear in their relationship or what he was willing to sacrifice for it, he was much too ready to try and apologize, to make them understand even if they didn't agree.

Now, if only they would _listen_ , this ordeal would be a whole lot easier.

They walked back to the lounge, Hunk, Pidge and himself going to the kitchen while the remaining members went to the common room to, possibly, talk some more and decide what to do next, choosing their next course of action since the three of them were, like, the boss, the leader, and the right hand man, though Keith was temporary leader still.

Shiro waved at them as the door closed behind him, promising to spend more time with each of them as soon as they got a clear idea on how to work the team from now on, Allura had walked in before him, saying that they had a lot to discuss and that she was allowing them to have the rest of the evening free, no training or bonding exercises needed (for obvious reasons).

As Lance and his two friends left, their destination being the kitchen, Hunk patted him on the shoulder and whispered that he needed to talk to Pidge, like, right now before her brain shortcircuited or showed the blue screen from hell, he giggled while he berated the yellow paladin for using expressions that were old as shit, since the _'blue screen'_ , as they used to call it, had been eradicated when the new operating system had been created many decades ago. Hunk just laughed and walked ahead of them until he disappeared around a corner, Lance slowing down until his pace matched Pidge's, his smaller teammate looked up at him with big, unsure eyes before she stopped walking completely, a sigh escaping her.

"Look, Lance, I'm not really good with the whole heart to heart thing, it makes me kind of uncomfortable talking about feelings and personal things, I like to keep some stuff to myself and just share what I want, so I'll make this quick." She sucked in a deep breath, her eyes looking up at him with concern.

"I'm sorry, I know I overreacted back then, I was scared because he was galra -which is stupid because we have the Blade here- and because he was Zarkon's son and I was...terrified that he was going to take away from me even more family. I know I hurt you, and I know we didn't listen to you as we should have, but I want you to know that I don't hate you, I understand why you acted the way you did, you've always had a good heart, always trying to help people and do the right thing." He teared up a little, she was being sincere, he knew, she had always been bad at lying, even back at the Garrison, he had to keep her out of trouble when the teachers began suspecting she was hiding something, even if he himself didn't know what it was.

"It's one of your biggest virtues, though it can also be a weakness -he blinked- look, I accept and understand your reasoning for helping Lotor _now_ , I know that you had facts and data to work with and you took your decision using that, it was the right choice, one that you made from the heart, but in the event that he had turned out to be evil, your good deed would have ended in disaster for everyone, do you get what I'm saying?." Yeah, he did, Pidge had always been a logical kind of person, looking at things from a scientific point of view, she was saying that his good heart was a good thing, as long as he wasn't naive and let himself be convinced by false claims, he had to be rational and think things through before taking action.

"I get it, thanks for worrying about me, Pidge." She blushed, denying his claims loudly, but he knew when she talked about his _'good heart'_ and it being a _'virtue or weakness'_ she was disguising her concern, trying to protect him, in her own way, telling him to be careful because one day he could end up hurt trying to help someone. She huffed, cheeks poofing out in a pout and arms crossed across her chest.

"Okay, fine, we are done here, I said sorry, you accepted my apology, nice, cool, I'm going back to my room." She poked out her tongue at him and ran away as quick as she could, but he still caught the slight blush that covered her cheeks, and how her mouth quirked slightly in the beginnings of a smile. He felt, suddenly and without warning, the slight sensation of a void being filled, a thread that was broken uniting again, a light that had been turned off, shining bright anew. Far away in the distance the Green lion purred in glee alongside Yellow and Blue, their bonds finally being whole again, the crack that had formed in between the paladins mending, slowly but surely, and Lance felt a wide smile taking over his face as he continued his trek to the kitchen.

When he got there, Lotor and Hunk were chatting animatedly about Altean and Galran recipes, it looked like the prince knew how to make some pastries and dishes, and was telling his friend that food goo was a thing of the past, archaic almost, and that they needed a better diet if they were to fight for the freedom of the universe. The yellow paladin wholeheartedly agreed, nodding his head with such force his bandanna nearly came off, Lance didn't want to interrupt, since they were really enthusiastic about trying new ways of cooking and swapping recipes, so content and still smiling wide, he left for the training room, thinking that maybe a few hours of exercise would take his mind of all the stuff going on.

As soon as he got there, he took out his (or more like, Keith's) bayard, took position on higher ground, and began a training sequence for his sniper rifle, which he really loves, by the way. Soon, gladiators fell from the ceiling and began their onslaught against him, he breathed in deep, took aim, and fired, once, twice, three times, and continued until every single enemy was down. The motions were repetitive and familiar, something he could get lost in, he would leave his mind blank, free of self-doubt and insecurity, and just focus on what he could do, how he could improve his technique, his aim, how many gladiators he could take out at the same time..., usually, time would pass by so fast he wouldn't even notice, and by the time he finally stopped, a few hours would have gone by, leaving him tired, sweaty and sore, but feeling strangely satisfied and relaxed.

He supposed shooting things instead of confronting his problems wasn't the way to go, but by god it was a good stress reliever.

Nodding to himself, pleased about the time he'd spent training -about three hours- he decided to go take a quick shower and join the others for dinner, maybe Hunk and Lotor had prepared something special that wasn't goo. Just thinking about it made his mouth water. Still, the universe had it out for him, and just as he exited, he crashed into someone, sending him stumbling back a few feet before righting himself and looking to his right, standing there and rubbing his forehead with a heavy frown pulling his lips down, was Keith, and oh boy he didn't seem too happy to see Lance, like, at all.

Anyways, he wasn't shouting at him yet, which was an improvement from last time.

They looked at each other, neither saying or doing anything, the red paladin was glaring, albeit with a little less fire than before (maybe because Shiro was back), but he didn't move or try to say anything to Lance, so he supposed he was still mad, which saddened him, but he didn't want to push the other into a conversation that neither was ready to have, so he tilted his head in acknowledgement and moved past his temporary leader to go back to his new room.

As he left, he didn't see how Keith's eyes narrowed and he bit his lip, the anger vanishing a little from his gaze while he opened his mouth to say something, but ultimately, he stopped himself, still frowning and grumbling, and walked to the training room, the door closing behind him.

\--

Lance showered and changed clothes in record time, wanting to join Hunk in the kitchen before his other teammates showed up, it was a habit they had even from before the garrison, his friend cooked while he tasted everything and they talked about whatever came to mind. It was a routine he loved, it gave him a sense of normalcy in the weirdness that was battling a ten thousand year old alien dictator in space, it also helped him relax and it worked to lessen Hunk's anxiety, so it was a win-win for both of them.

When he arrived there, his best friend was alone, except for Lotor, who was sitting down, reading something on a small computer, he looked up when the door opened and smiled brightly at Lance, turning off the small gadget and motioning for the blue paladin to join him at the table.

"Hello, Lance, how are you doing?" The prince didn't seem mad or angry, so he supposed no one told him about Shiro's comment back at the hangars, maybe it was for the best, the galran didn't need more stress and problems piling up in the already endless pile he had.

"I'm good, thanks for asking, I just came to spend some time with Hunk while he cooks, it's a nice way to unwind, you know?." He sat down besides the prince, both smiling and enjoying the comforting silence that wrapped around them, no words needed, just basking in the soft warmth that another presence brought.

"Yeah, okay, you say ' _I came to spend time with Hunk'_ , but all I heard was _'I came to eat all of Hunk's food that he took a really long time to prepare'_." The yellow paladin looked at him from behind the counter, his eyes narrowing and an exaggerated pout taking over his face, which made Lance crack up and laugh, because honestly, after so many years, his friend had to know what to expect, but he still acted mock hurt to make him laugh.

"Well, you got me there, but can you really blame me? I'm sick of the food goo, and any chance to eat anything different from it, it's a chance I'm gonna take advantage of." He winked and fired some finger guns to his cooking friend, who laughed, warm and loud, before stirring whatever was inside the pot he had before him.

"Well, I'm used to it by now, so it doesn't even bother me, right now I'm trying a recipe that Lotor gave me, we compared tastes and flavors and pretty much adjusted the ingredients so it would be earth-like. The thing I'm making it's basically a soup, but it should taste like spicy chicken and mashed potatoes, I just hope it comes out alright." Ohh, just thinking about earth flavors, even in the form of soup, made his mouth water, he couldn't wait to eat dinner, the only downside being he'd have to deal with Keith's laser gaze and Allura's awkwardness, that, plus Shiro's overall weirdness, but it would be worth it if he got to taste chicken again.

After a while, the three of them began chatting about random subjects they came up with while Hunk continued cooking, Lotor helping sometimes, Lance helped too, when he could, contrary to popular belief, he could actually cook, nothing super special like his chef-like friend, but he was pretty decent at it, being the youngest in a big family meant that sometimes your parents and siblings didn't have time for you, so if you wanted to eat something really, really bad, it was either a) you ordered it from somewhere (he never had any money so), b) you asked your kind neighbor for it (she was too old and didn't hear right, not a good option) or c) you cooked it yourself, which is what Lance learnt to do.

As they talked and laughed and cooked, the relaxing atmosphere made the tension on his shoulders seep away, he slowly relaxed his tense muscles, his frown smoothed over and disappeared and he felt like a heavy weight that had settled on his back had been lifted.

They continued for a while and before they knew it, their teammates were flowing in the room one by one, taking a seat and joining the conversation if they felt like it, the first to arrive was Pidge, who began retelling stories about the Garrison and all the trouble they made while Lotor giggled, surprised at their antics.

She was followed by Coran, Allura and Shiro, they listened attently, laughing at some of their more crazy stunts, and about half an hour later, Keith entered, plopping down besides his brother and beginning a conversation with him, soft and private, just between them.

With all of them in the dinning room, Hunk served his dish, everyone thanked him and took a spoonful of the soup, curious as to what it would taste like, the alteans and Lotor seemed to like it, not surprised at the flavor, said it was good, but the paladins were gaping, spoon clutched tight, knuckles white and eyes shining in delight before diving back in, no one talked, they were too busy savoring something that tasted like home.

If anyone said later that Lance cried when he tasted chicken for the first time in half a year, he would deny it to his dying breath.

They parted ways a few hours after that, the room had grown tense again when the warm glow that settled over them had vanished, and Lance wasn't too keen on being on edge again, not when he had managed to finally relieve some of his stress, so he said good bye and everyone left to their own rooms to sleep for the night.

\--

The first time it happened, he was floating in nothingness, thoughts fuzzy and mind blank as he was swept by the current, he was unaware of anything besides his own breathing and the feeling of soft and warm sheets caressing his skin, he was comfortable, shrouded in clouds and wool like blankets while everything smelled like the ocean. He felt himself drifting off again, just a few seconds and he'd be deep asleep again, but a noise awoke him, it was sudden and not very loud, but he heard it anyways and any vestige of sleep he had was thrown out the window as he tried to listen closely, wondering what it could be.

It sounded like someone was scratching something hard, as if a screwdriver was scraping against the metal walls of the castle, making a screeching sound that echoed through the hallways, reaching his room. He was totally awake in a matter of seconds, all his senses on high alert, there was supposed to be no one on this floor, as of now, only Lance himself was living there, which the others didn't know because he locked his old room with a security code, so no one could enter.

He knew Lotor and the Blade were below him, but they respected boundaries and each other's space, so no one actually came up, if they needed something, they spoke through the intercoms. The sound didn't stop, and it was soon joined by the creaking of the floors and the echo of metal on metal, everything else was silent, just the humming of the castle and the air flowing through the vents accompanying the mysterious noises.

Determined to find out if someone had sneaked into the castle or if there was something wrong, Lance got up from his bed and walked out of his room, bayard in hand, lion slippers forgotten and bare feet gliding silently as he trekked the hallways. The noise was coming from his right, and he remembered that at the end of the corridor was a door, locked, of course, and he didn't know what was inside, only that it was supposed to be as big as a closet, so nothing of importance could be there, it was a dead end.

Still, the thought that an intruder might be tinkering with parts of the ship made him shudder, and he walked faster, following the clinking noise until he arrived at the corner in which the corridor ended. He could see a shadow, humanoid in form, and a strange purplish light coming from his right, being so close to it gave him goosebumps and his heart rate picked up, nerves assaulting him so suddenly that he was startled, taking a step back and nearly falling on his ass. Thankfully, his reflexes were fast enough and he didn't fall, but the shadow stopped moving and Lance held his breath, waiting.

A few minutes passed by, and when nothing happened, he materialized his blaster, taking a deep breath before rounding the corner, quick and swift, and he pointed it at the mystery shadow there, his finger tight on the trigger, ready to fire at the slightest movement.

Only, there wasn't an intruder there, no one had infiltrated the ship, it was just...

"Shiro? What are you doing here?" His leader was sitting there, leaning on the wall with a far away look in his eyes, not blinking even once, his hands were clenched together, his knuckles turning white, and his breaths were long and slow. His chest rose and fell rhythmically and his shoulders were relaxed, legs strewn before him, whole body limp besides his still clasped hands.

He approached carefully and assessed his surroundings, there was the closet door in front of him, it shined a bright blue that pulsated every few ticks, giving the impression that it was alive.The panel to the right of the door was a bit scratched, probably from years of use, but besides that, everything was still, nothing moved, nothing was put of place, nothing but _Shiro._

He wasn't moving, and he didn't acknowledge Lance, even when he booped his nose or pinched his cheeks, the black paladin wasn't moving, still breathing slowly, eyes half lidded and glazed over, and Lance had the sudden revelation that his friend had been, most possibly, sleepwalking. He had had that problem himself, when he was younger, he would try to open doors and go places and his parents had to bring him back to the house and lock him in his room so he wouldn't run out.

So maybe the black paladin, with his troubled past, had being sleepwalking in a nightmare and tried to get out, maybe thinking he was escaping a galra ship (he had a knack for being held captive on galran ships) and somehow he ended there, trying to open the door, but he wasn't worried, it wasn't going to work, only Allura had the codes for all the doors on the castle, so no one except her would be able to open it.

It was a relief, that no stranger had gotten into their home, they were already on edge as it was, they didn't need more added stress, now, though, he needed to think what to do about his friend, who was passed out on a hallway, in the middle of the night, and he had no one to help him carry the guy back to his room (there was no way he was going to do it by himself). With a sigh he pocketed his bayard and got Shiro on his feet, pulling apart his hands and passing the black paladin's arm over Lance's shoulder, half carrying the bigger man as they slowly walked back towards his room, there was a spare bed on the chamber next to his that he could lay his friend in, he would explain tomorrow what he was doing there, for now, though, he was tired and just wanted to sleep.

He got there as fast as he could and laid down his leader on the spare bed, covering him with some clean blankets before stalking out of the room, before leaving, though, he looked back one last time, Shiro was breathing normally, his eyes finally closed, and he looked peaceful and relaxed, like he didn't have anything to worry about, but as he looked at him, Lance felt a sense of foreboding, as if something was going to happen soon, and he couldn't help but shiver, he really needed to have a serious conversation with Shiro, soon.

He ran for his bed and burrowed under the covers, willing sleep to take him soon so he could stop feeling like he was on a tight rope, and even the smallest gust of wind would topple him over, sending him crashing down with no chance to recover.

\--

The next time he became aware of himself, he felt weightless, like he was as light as a feather, there was nothing pulling him down and it felt like he was floating, being carried away on a current, the soft breeze ruffling his hair and making him sigh in happiness, it was pure bliss.

Until he hit his head on a metallic surface, that is.

"Holy-" He cursed ,touching the spot, slowly rubbing at it until the sting faded away.

He opened his eyes and noticed that he was, in fact, not dreaming about feeling weightless, no, he was literally floating around his room aimessly, he had drifted way too high and hit his head on the ceiling.

"What the shit is happening?" He looked around for something that could help him move around or boost himself with, but there was nothing close enough to work with, so he was stuck until someone managed to turn off Zero-G.

 _'Great, fantastic way to begin a new day'_ He waited for abour fifteen minutes before a voice coming from the intercoms boomed inside the castle, explaining the situation.

"Paladins, I'm sorry for any inconvenience this may have caused you, it seems the castleship is having some problems with gravity right now, but Coran an I are working to fix them as quick as possible, please stay put until the repairs are done."And with a clicking sound, Allura was gone, leaving Lance, and possibly the other paladins, to drift around like clouds until they were done, it was annoying, not being able to move the way you wanted to, and he wasn't comfortable with being so vulnerable. If someone were to board their ship right now, they would be completely defenceless, unarmed in the face of danger and totally useless, he just hoped nothing like that would happen.

 _'I mean, what is the probability, right? I'm sure if Slav was here he would be able to_ _tell me.'_ His thoughts were interrupted by a red light switching on, the sound of the alarms blasting loudly over the comms and a panicked voice talking over the ruckus that was heard in the background.

"Paladins! We have an emergency, some unknown individuals have boarded the ship!" _Whelp, next time maybe I'll shut up._ " If you can find a way to defend yourselves or hide, do it! The gravity will come back on five doboshes, try to hold on until then, the intruders are headed to the elevator, so we should be safe right now, but keep your guard up!." Allura's voice fizzled out, but before it did, Lance caught Coran talking with Lotor, who was shouting something at the altean man, before Allura told them both to shut up, and the signal cut out.

But now he was panicking, if they boarded the elevator they could get to his room, and Shiro was on the one next to his, were they here to kidnap him again? To make sure he woudn't share any important data he may have obtained while in captivity? He had a feeling it wasn't that but he had more important things to worry about, he was lost about what to do, couldn't move from his position and couldn't fight back, his bayard was on the other side, and he couldn't materialize it right on his hands like Keith could.

He was on a predicament.

As if answering his fears, he heard a ding close by, and knew instantly that it was the elevator to his floor opening it's door, he heard footsteps stomping closer and closer to him, until suddenly, they stopped, and he held his breath, hoping that they would go away.

They did not.

The door opened and he barely saw four figures striding in before he had the sensation of falling, sudden and without warning, and a yelp tore from his throat as the gravity came back and he fell from the ceiling, knowing that it was going to hurt a lot when he touched the ground.

But it didn't, instead of falling smack on the metal tiles of the castle, something warm cushioned his fall, curling around him and holding him tenderly, almost as if afraid that tightening their hold was going to break him in half. He didn't know when he'd closed his eyes, but he opened them quick, intent on looking at his savior's face, he looked up, squinting against the bright lights that turned on when the gravity came back, and gaped.

"E- Ezor?" Said girl gazed at him, a smile lighting up her features and arms holding him even more gently, her eyes widened and she laughed with mirth, a mischievous look doning her features.

"Well, you aren't Lotor, are you, cutie?." He had the decency to blush, confused as to what was happening and why one of Lotor's generals was still holding him, looking like she had no intention of letting him go, and while in any other situation he wouldn't have cared to beign held by an awesome and beautiful lady, he really needed to clarify the situation.

"Uhh, no, I'm not?" He scratched the back of his head in thought.

"Ah, it looks like we made a mistake, isn't this the second floor?" The tall alien girl asked, her voice friendly, like they'd had known each other for years instead of five minutes.

"No, this is the third floor, only I live here." She sighed and muttered about _'Listening to Zethrid and her weird sense of direction'_ and ' _How could we mess up this badly'_ , he wanted to ask what was wrong or for someone to please say what was going on, but they explained without him even saying anything.

"Sorry, Blue cub, we wanted to surprise Lotor, you know, our little brother? But when we got here all the systems were offline, so we thought that something bad had happened and rushed in to find him. He told us on his messages that he was staying on the second floor, so we tried to get there, but the symbols were on altean, and only he knows the language, so we choose the wrong button and found you instead." She was still smiling, and he found himself at ease, it had been a long time since he'd found someone as outgoing as him, and he really wanted to get to know Lotor's generals, so this was as good time as any.

"Okaaaay, well, my name's Lance, Blue paladin, nice to meet you?" He tilted his head and grinned, and Ezor grinned right back, hands clutching his back to squeeze him softly.

"I know your name, our prince speaks highly of you, calls you his savior -she laughed when he blushed- but it's nice to finally see you in person, you're cuter than I remembered." He giggled nervously and she finally let him down, she was slightly taller than him and wore the same armor as her companions.

"Ezor, stop procrastinating, we came here to find our prince, not make friends." Acxa, if he remembered right, was the one nagging the other girl, talking about responsibilities and doing their job, arms crossed and a small glare being thrown Lance's way.

Ezor, for the most part, ignored her, turning to Zethrid while pouting and babbling about meeting with Blue, because Lotor said he was important and they had to protect what their leader held dear, Zethrid frowned and growled, telling them to hurry it up, that they were just wasting time.

A hand on his shoulder startled him out of observing the girls quarrel, and he found himself face to face with Narti, who didn't say a word, but held her alien cat out to him, nodding as if to tell him that it was alright to pet her.

Of couse he jumped at the opportunity and within seconds had his arms full of alien cat, he wasted no time and petted the thing carefully, slowly, enjoying the purr that was softly rumbling through the alien's body.

"Oh my god, this is the best day of my life." He laughed when the small cat, which was named Kova if he read her metal tag correctly, nuzzled her head on his hand, still purring like an engine and meowing in distress when he stopped his ministrations. He continued, running his fingers through her fur and enjoying how soothing it felt, he relaxed without meaning to, Narti watching over him while the other three argued about god knows what.

And that's the picture the paladins saw when the screen from the intercoms powered on.

Lance stood frozen for a moment, looking at his friends on the other side of the screen, incredulous faces gazing back at him while he still cuddled with Kova, a shouting match going on behind him.

"Errr.....this isn't what it looks like?" His teammates groaned and he laughed nervously.

"Generals, stop your disrespectful behavior right this instant." Lotor's voice came from close by, and Lance noticed he was outside his room, hands on his hips while he watched his generals with a frustrated expression. The girls immediately got in formation and bowed slightly, apologizing for misbehaving, saying they had been worried about him.

"It's okay, I understand, but do you realize you put the castle on high alert? -Ezor let out an _'oops'_ \- You could have, at least, informed the inhabitants of the ship of who you were, and what was your reason for being here before barging in, now look what you did, they thought you were intruders." The generals apologized profusely and promised to be more careful in the future, Lance knew that Lotor tried to be firm and chastitise them, but he could see the fond look he was giving them, and how he was fighting not to smile.

"It's alright, for now, let's go to the control room so I can introduce you to the princess and the paladins, if that's alright with you, Allura?" She nodded and the screen fizzled out, he thought he saw a look of concern cross Keith's face, but it must have been a trick of the light, they were still on shaky terms at best, and he wasn't ready to talk to him yet.

"Lance, I am sorry for any trouble they may have caused you, are you alright?"

He blinked "Yeah, it's cool, they didn't do anything, they were looking for you but ended up on the wrong floor." The prince sighed, a hand covering his eyes as he let out a breathy laugh.

"Of course it had to be that, Zethrid has the worse sense of direction, and they must have been following her, I'm sure she assured the others she knew where she was going, but as you can see, that was not the case." Lance giggled while Kova nudged him with her head, he waved a hand in a dimissive manner.

"No worries, really, but we should go to the control room or Allura will have our heads." He began walking towards the door, Lotor and his generals following close by while they talked about the situation and how he had ended up making an alliance with Voltron.

While they waited inside the elevator, a hand found itself on Lance's shoulder again, squeezing it gently, and he found Ezor close to him, crouched down a bit to whisper on his ear, a smile, tender and warm taking over her features.

"I didn't have time to say this before, but, thank you." He blinked, confused." Lotor talked a lot about you when we messaged him over the comms, he told us how you saved him and how much you risked to make sure he was safe. He may never say it, but he's grateful that someone listened to him, that he met someone he could confide in, he never does that with us, because he doesn't want to burden us, and we were sad that we couldn't help him." His eyes widened, surprised, the prince talked about him? To his sisters, no less, he felt strangely proud, and happy that his friendship with Lotor was accepted by his closest family.

"But you did, and I can see that a heavy weight has been lifted from him, he no longer has to carry the fate of the universe on his shoulders, he doesn't have to fight alone anymore, and for that, I am...no, _we_ are immensely grateful, so thank you, Lance, for being his friend, for saving him." She crouched down a bit more and slowly, softly, pressed a chaste kiss to his cheek. He smiled and closed his eyes, it felt like those kisses his own sister used to give him when he was sad, making a bout of nostalgia rip through him. Ezor leaned back after that, and proceeded to talk animately again, going as far as exchanging pick up lines with Lance, which he greatly enjoyed, thank you very much.

The rest of the day passed in a blur, they negotiated their stay, deciding that Lotor and his sisters would remain on the second floor, alongside the Blade, and would be subjected to a tight surveillance until Allura said otherwise. Zethrid had growled at that, but there were no other problems after that, they introduced themselves and ate dinner together, Hunk seemed to have developed a friendship over cooking with Lotor, and they passed their time talking about recipes and how to recreate them on the ship.

Pidge had taken a liking to Narti, who, despite not talking, was really good at tech stuff, she communicated using a computer that translated everything she wrote, and both of them were brainstorming for a new project that had the green paladin vibrating in excitement.

Zehtird, for the most part, didn't seem to want to talk with anyone, but Keith caught her attention when she noticed he was half galra, and they began discussing about weapons and efficiency, and before Lance even knew what happened, they were side by side, thinking ways of being more deadly, more quick, creating new moves that they promised to try later on at the training deck.

That left only Acxa, who didn't like to talk much, she was sitting besides Allura and Shiro on the corner, they were sharing strategies and battle tactics, the general adding her input when she thought necessary, being curt and to the point. He thought that Shiro was way too interested into the altean and galran technology, which was also part of their conversation, and he inquired various times about the castle and some of it's functions, but he could hardly pay any attention to that when he finally noticed what was going on around him.

Everyone seemed to be having a good time, and the girls were adapting quick, striking conversations like they were nothing and talking with the paladins effortlessly, and Lance suddenly realized how lonely all of them had been. Only seven people living in the castle for more than half a year made it difficult to find new topics to talk about, and even when the blade joined, it wasn't like they could just go and chat with them, Lance had tried, really, but Kolivan was the most paranoid person in the known universe, and you couldn't pry any info from him or the other members.

But now new people were joining their mismatched family, making it grow, filling the castle with noises and laughs, movement could be heard from everywhere, if someone wasn't training or cooking, they were taking a walk, or typing on one of the computers, or talking between themselves on the common room. He beamed and knew he must be smiling wide, so wide it hurt, his friends were happy, the castle no longer feeling like a prison, stifling and hollow, it made his heart swell with happiness.

"Lance, what's got you smiling so beautifully?" Ezor asked from his left, she was looking at him, one eyebrow raised and hands on her hips.

He didn't answer, just closed his eyes as his smile grew in size, and for a moment, everything felt alright, he forgot about his problems and his troubles, and basked on the atmosphere around him, filled with life and warmth.

He went to sleep that night feeling lighter than he had in a long time.

\--

The second time it happened, he was snuggling with Kova under the covers, her warm body curling on his chest as he lay on his side, he was asleep, not deep, but enough to be comfortable and not notice anything around him, the cat's purring sounds and soft rumble lulling him father into unconsciousness.

And then he heart it, a scratching sound, footsteps, the noise of metal on metal, echoes filling the hallway and waking him up almost instantly.

Kova whined from her spot on his bed, she had taken a liking to him ever since the girls came to the castle, and she had crawled alongside him before he could do anything about it, he'd had to ask Narti if she minded, because her cat wouldn't leave him alone, but she didn't, as long as he took care of her, which he did.

The noise, the same one he heard yesterday night, continued in it's intensity, never stopping or wavering, and once again he wondered what it could be, he then remembered that Shiro had been sleepwalking, and he had totally forgotten to talk to him about it.

"Idiot- he facepalmed- I was so absorbed with the easy going atmosphere we had that I completely forgot, if it's him again I have to stop him from wandering around, it can be dangerous, he could flung himself out the airlock or something." With a sleepy sigh, and ingnoring Kova's meows he took his bayard, just in case, and left his room, following the same route he had yesterday, the noises were getting louder, it still sounded like a screwdriver and a scratching sound of metal hitting metal, and he had no idea what it could be, and if it was Shiro, what the hell his sleepy mind was making him do.

He saw his shadow before rounding the corner and frowned, it looked like the black paladin was crouched down on the same spot as the previous night, and a purple light could be seen from near by. Suddenly worried that he was using his arm without noticing, he stepped forward and turned to the right, and there he was, slumped across the floor and leaning on the wall, eyes glassy and unfocused, but blinking at long intervals, he was murmuring something inaudible and his hands were clasped together again, as if in prayer.

He approached slowly and crouched before him, down on his knees. "Shiro, hey, buddy, you with me?" He still wasn't comfortable with being this close to him, it wasn't like he forgot what he saw back there on the ice planet, or the feeling of _'wrong'_ that had filled his whole being, he had kept an eye on Shiro from the moment they came back to the castle, and he had noticed a few things.

First was, that he barely talked to Pidge, she had been like a surrogate little sister to him, before, he used to ask about Matt and Sam every few days, offering his help or telling her to go sleep if she was way too tired, always taking care of her. He hadn't done that even once since he came back.

Second, he was talking with Allura, all the time, if they weren't strategizing or talking about the lions and their functions, they were delving deep into the inner workings of the castle and altean tehnology, and he seemed to absorv everything like a sponge, his eager expression creeping Lance up.

Third, he noticed that Shiro didn't have nightmares anymore, nor did he wander the hallways at night to tire himself out and finally crash on his bed, it should be a good thing, that he got better, but PTSD doesn't just dissapear like that, even less when he'd just came back from captivity, it wasn't normal.

And last, but not least, he had a bad habit of talking badly about Keith, it wasn't anything serious most of the time, but the implications of his comments always left Lance blanching, wanting to punch Shiro everytime Keith flinched or looked ashamed for some mistake he made. The older Shiro would have never, ever, treated him like that, he was proud of Keith's efforts and fighting prowess, he would have encouraged him to continue improving, giving his all, happy to stay on the sidelines as long as they were safe. This Shiro hadn't praised him once, all his comments had been negative, seemingly innocent, but with an undercurrent of resentment.

He had watched all of that with a frown and a heavy heart, and realized that things didn't add up, this was like a more inmature and childish version of their Shiro, one that was selfish and didn't know how to teamwork.

It had made his existing paranoia grow tenfold, and he had found himself not being capable of staying alone with him ever since.

_Still._

Still, this Shiro was in trouble, and he couldn't just stay away and do nothing, he would feel guilty afterwards, and he still needed to find out the truth, he needed to hold on and keep at it, no matter how much he wanted to keep away from him.

"...ed..to...o..." Lance strained to hear what he was saying. "Need...need...to..go... get... the... get...main...go...need...to...." It wasn't making any sense, but maybe if he understood what he was saying, he could soothe him enough to get him back to bed or stop him from sleepwalking altogether.

"Were do you need to go? Buddy, talk to me, please?" Shiro didn't even seem to hear him, eyes darting around slowly, as if searching for something.

"I...need..to...go...back.....return...team..." Lance frowned, was he dreaming about when he was being captive? Was he trying to escape from an imaginary galran ship? Just trying desperately to get away and go back to his team, even now, when he was safe, he wasn't free of the feeling of being captured, attempting even on his dreams to return to them.

"It's okay, you're fine, we got you." He reached for him, resting his hand lightly on his shoulder.

Shiro's eyes widened and flashed red for a second, making Lance gasp and tense up, a chill running down his body and legs trembling with the need to run away, then, ever so slowly, his friend looked up at him and smiled.

"Lance, what is it?" He gulped and retracted his hand, holding his bayard tightly in his other one, he looked back at Shiro's eyes, but like always, nothing seemed out of place.

"You're uh...you were sleepwalking, and, uh, I tried to wake you because it's dangerous and...and stuff." The black paladin got up, and Lance followed, standing awkwardly and fidgeting with his bayard.

"Ahhh, I see, yeah, this happens more often than not, I'm afraid, I tried really hard to keep it in check, but it seems to be a lost cause." Was it him, or did his voice sound different? The way he expressed himself, too, it was strange and put him on edge.

"It makes me roam the hallways and open doors without noticing, sometimes I've awaken on the strangest of places, but it's not dangerous or anything, really, they say it's worse if you wake up the person, don't they?" He nodded, still a bit shaken. "So, next time it happens don't pay any attention to me, just go back to sleep, I'll be fine." He smiled down at Lance, patted his shoulder, and left to go back to his room and sleep, but he couldn't move from the spot, he gazed at the closed door, to the spot Shiro had been slumped on and then back to where the other had left, and felt like he was missing something.

He didn't sleep well that night.

\--

The next day was just as active as the previous one, they woke up to the alarms blaring loudly and Allura's panicked voice telling them to suit up and run to their lions asap. It looked like the castle malfunctions had been getting worse, a fact which the princess didn't share because she thought she and Coran had it under control and didn't want to worry the paladins. Right now, though, the Navigation System (NAS) seemed to have gone crazy and moved them right into the heart of a galran outpost, they were being shot at and sentries were trying to board the castle.

The Blade and Lotor's team were ordered to protect the castle and fight on the inside, while the paladins would destroy the outpost with their lions, Lance had been allowed to deploy since it was an emergency situation, and it made him sad to remember that he was _'off duty'_ as the princess would say, and he wasn't free to fly his lions whenever he wanted. He barely had a second to appreciate Red's purrs before they were taking off and firing lasers at the galran base. It took about half an hour to defeat every single enemy and wormhole away, and even though it was a quick battle, it left Lance drained and tired, beginning the day like this was the worst.

"Good job, paladins, I'm sorry that we found ourselves in this predicament." He took out his helmet and sat down on his chair, looking at the princess, she was blushing in shame while Coran frowned at the console, a hand stroking his mustache.

"I have no idea what happened, the malfunctions weren't this bad, they shouldn't have gotten to the Navigation System this quick." He typed something and then growled as a red warning message appeared. "I don't know how I could have missed this, I am terribly sorry, paladins, we'll need to stop for a while so I can fix this." They nodded at Coran, and Lance slouched, stretching his arms until they popped with a satisfying sound. Looking around, the prince and the blade were exiting the room, his friends following, but he caught sight of Keith talking with Shiro, or more like, Keith shouting softly at Shiro while the other frowned at him, his arms crossed across hs chest and a look of disappointment on his face.

He barely caught some parts of their discussion, but it was enough to know something was wrong, Keith and Shiro were like brothers, they had their disagreements, yeah, but rarely shouted at each other like this.

"....being reckless and...."

"....did what had to be done.....it was...."

"...you can't.....need...make the most out of Black's powers.....it.."

".....doing my best.......trying?"

".....need to understand.....can't keep.....leader..."

"......can't help it.......I'm not _you_!!"

Keith's voice sounded close to tears, he looked up at his brother with grief in his eyes and stormed off, face the depiction of anger, fists clenched and snarling the whole way, concerned about what was going on, he walked up to Shiro, poking him to gain his attention.

"Uh? Oh, hello Lance, what is it?" He smiled like nothing just happened.

"What did you say to Keith? He looked pissed." _'And hurt, like the only person he ever trusted had betrayed him, he looked at you the same way he looked at me when I lied to him.'_

"Oh, that, he was just throwing a tantrum, don't mind him, I was just reminding him that as a leader, he has to be more aware of others, and that he has to step up his game, he needs to be better if he wants to be the black paladin." Lance froze.

"How could you say that to him? He doesn't want to be the black paladin, you know he's not good with people but he's trying his best...." He trailed off, the other wasn't even listening to him, his eyes looked at Lance, but his mind was elsewhere, like he didn't really care what he was saying, it was unsettling.

"Hey, Shiro? -he nodded at Lance- do you remember yesterday? I was thinking about asking Coran for some sleeping pills, you know? For your problem? Would you be willing to try them out?" His friend looked down at him, seemingly thinking about it, but the answer he received was not the one he was expecting.

"Yesterday? When do you mean?" He tilted his head in confusion, mouth opening and closing, but no words escaped his lips, on the back of his mind the lions rumbled, nervous about something, vibrating in anticipation, like he was getting close... _close to what?_.

"Why would I need sleeping pills? It's not like I have trouble sleeping, even with all my problems." He laughed and Lance hunched his shoulders, the lions growling getting slightly louder the more he talked with the other, he cleared his throat before speaking.

"You know? Yesterday night? When I caught you sleepwalking and woke you up?" His voice was highed than he wanted it to, but he couldn't keep his nervousness out of it.

"Sorry Lance, I really don't remember, but I have never sleepwalked before, maybe you were dreaming?." No, he was definetly not dreaming, Black agreed with him, urging him to continue talking with the other, urging him to _see._

"But you talked with me, you told me this had happened before and you woke up in the strangest places." Shiro was frowning at him now, mouth upturned and eyes narrowed.

"This is getting ridiculous, I told you, that didn't happen, I didn't leave my room at all last night, and I have no trouble sleeping, I don't even have nightmares anymore, it must have been a dream, Lance, now, if you excuse me, I'm going to talk to Allura." He brushed past Lance, shoving him as he passed, and he felt apprehensive and jittery, it wasn't a dream, the lions said so, he was lying, or he didn't remember, but he talked with him like he was lucid, he walked away on his own, he chastised Keith for trying his best and called the princess Allura.....that wasn't right, Shiro always kept formal, respecting her title and never calling her by name, he would never bring someone down when they were trying their best, and he sure as hell wouldn't brush one of his teammates off like they were annoying him.

It was time to put an end to this, he couldn't live with the uncertainty of not knowing what really happened to Shiro, he needed to investigate and discover what his leader was hiding, he had the duty to protect his team, he's the sharpshooter, after all, no matter how much they deny it, he needs to have their backs, and he will.

He turned around fast and walked up to Coran, intent on asking for his help or advice, but he looked mad and frustrated while he typed incessantly on the console, and Lance decided his troubles could wait a few minutes.

"Hey, Coran, what's wrong?" The altean gazed at him for a tick before retuning to what he was doing, heaving a tired sigh while he rubbed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose.

"It's the systems, they aren't in working condition, and it's driving me up the wall because I could swear that the last time, Allura and I, with help from Lotor, scanned everything and fixed all the faulty wiring and defective pieces that we found." Coran stopped typing, resting his head on his hand before looking up at him once more.

"I just do not understand, to change the trajectory of the ship is physically impossible, only Allura has the right quintessence to steer the castle, not even I am capable of navigating the ship, I can input coordinates and choose a location, but Allura needs to be on the control panel, otherwise it would block me from all access." He made a frustrated sound and Lance couldn't help but hug him, it wasn't his best idea yet, but his friend was in pain, and physical touch always calmed Lance down when he was stressed.

"I'm sorry Coran, I don't understand much about altean technology, so I can't help you with that, but I'm pretty sure you checked everything really thoroughly, you're an awesome engineer, I think it's impossible that you missed something as big as this." He smiled, trying to lighten up the atmosphere, and Coran hesitantly smiled back. "But I don't get it, Allura was sleeping, same as us, so how is it possible that the castle redirected himself? Is there a way to do it that doesn't depend on her energy?" The other seemed to think about it and shook his head before stopping, body going rigid and eyes widening slightly, he clicked his fingers while murmuring something about being forgetful.

"Well, yes and no -Lance hummed in question- I completely forgot about this -thank you for reminding me about it by the way- but, the castle, being as big as it is, wouldn't be able to function correctly with the main hub only because it has too many tasks programmed. So as to not overload the system, my grandfather distributed different tasks on separate, smaller hubs scattered around the ship, there are about, fifteen in total, one manages the air supply, another the food distribution, the works." Lance nodded, it made sense, but he was still confused.

"The thing is, I didn't think to check on those hubs because they are protected behind doors that only Allura's life-force signature can open, they are really sturdy and impenetrable, nearly indestructible - _But then how..._ \- But! If there was a virus, a corruption of sorts that somehow got uploaded to the ship's systems, just like that time with Sendak, it may have gotten past the security and changed the course that we were following."

"I'm sensing a _'but'_ here." Coran looked serious, his expression grave, and it made him straighten and square his shoulders, ready to take on anything the altean would tell him.

"But, the only way to do that would be to manually insert the virus, which implies that we may have a stowaway -he gasped-, and it can't be done from the main hub, because it would be detected and immediately contained, then destroyed. It could only be achieved uploading it on the smaller hub that actually manages the function that they wanted to alter." Lance felt himself pale, so they had an intruder after all, maybe that's why he felt so apprehensive at night, whenever he heard something, they had been in danger all along, they really needed to find this person and capture them, as soon as possible.

"Okay, okay, don't panic, then, if we find the hub that controls the Navigation System and keep an eye on it, we can find out if we really have an intruder, we can put a camera or surveillance system close to it, yeah?" Coran nodded and began searching for something on the ship's map, a few ticks later a small red dot appeared and the altean beamed with an exclaimed _'Aha'._

"We are in luck, the small hub that manages the Navigation System is located on the third floor -Lance's brain stopped- it's also really close to your room, too, which worries me, because you could be in danger, maybe you should go back to your old one – Lance sucked in a deep breath- but first, here." He dropped down a small device onto his hands, and he barely had the mind to grasp it so it wouldn't fall.

"Install that small camera and I'm sure we'll catch our culprit red-handed, the door to the hub is to the right of your room, just around the corner, be cautious, I'm going to inform the princess about this." He wanted to nod, to do something, but he was paralyzed, gasping while trying to breath, he trembled while his mind came up with images of last night, images of Shiro slumped on the ground next to that same door, images of red eyes glaring up at him, images of his supposed friend saying not to worry if he made any more noises at night, images of Shiro saying he didn't remember.

He clutched his chest, nearly crushing the tiny camera inside his fist, and tried really hard not to hyperventilate, subconsciously, he knew he was overreacting, he had no proof, no evidence that Shiro was aiding the galra from the inside, trying to tear up team Voltron, but if he didn't remember their nightly encounter, then, maybe, just maybe, he was brainwashed, just like Lotor had been, maybe some druid magic was messing with him and that's why Lance saw strange things back at the ice planet.

But he had a feeling it was something more than just brainwashing, that their older friend was being used to do horrible things without his knowledge, that his behavior was the result of some really messy mind fuck that left him being a shadow of who he really was. Black's presence assaulted him suddenly, he was growling in warning, telling him to be careful, to not jump into danger and think things with patience, to seek aid from his teammates.

 _'But...'_ , he smiled sadly _'...I can't do that, I can't tell Keith that the brother he so desperately wanted to find might be brainwashed and aiding the Galra behind our backs, I can't tell Allura, who smiles so tenderly at Shiro, nor Pidge, who asks him to tell her stories about her brother, I can't do this to them, I need proof, I need to know for real, and I need to know how to save him, if the same thing I did with Lotor will work with Shiro, I won't burden them with this, this time, I will protect them, I will get our friend back, no matter what.'_

The rest of the day passed with a blur, he could barely look at Shiro, and when he did, he shivered and hunched in on himself, wanting to disappear, Coran had informed Allura of the problem they had with the castle systems, and told her he was taking care of it, suprising Lance, who thought he would tell the princess that it was _him_ taking care of it, but it made sense, she didn't trust him yet, and she would ban him from doing it if she knew.

Coran just winked at him, and when it was time to finally go sleep, he made Lance promise that as soon as he installed the device, he would run back to his older room and stay there until he was needed, since the camera would blare an alert throughout the castle when it detected movement. He promised the altean man, who squeezed his shoulder before going away to his own room, Lance stood there for a tick before taking out the camera, he rolled it in his palm before storing it away in one of the drawers in the kitchen, then walked quickly to the elevator, fists clenched and jaw tight, eyes alight with determination.

He hated to lie to Coran, but that was a promise he wouldn't be able to keep.

Tonight, he would finally find out the truth, even if it was the last thing he did.

\--

He stayed on his room, not daring to move or breath, waiting for the sounds he knew would come, Kova had since long gone back to Narti at Lance's request, he didn't want to endanger the cat, after all. He donned his paladin armor, bayard in hand, he had already scouted the area close to what he now knew was the hub door, and noticed that, from Shiro's vantage point, and from the way the light shined, he could see the outline of Lance's shadow when he approached the counter, so he needed to be stealthy, unnoticed, he needed to be able to approach silent and swift, if he was really sleepwalking, then no problem, but if he was not....he still didn't know what he would do, knock him out, probably, and then take him to the others and, try to explain? Not that they'll believe him but....he had to try.

The noises came, just like last night, then the footsteps, and finally the sound of metal clinking, he stood up, rifle clutched tight in his hand, and marched towards the corridor, heartbeat loud on his ears, trying to breath slowly and silently. When he was at the mouth of the hallway, he crouched and lay on the floor, crawling slowly towards the source, he began catching murmurs mixed with the ruckus, and strained to hear what was being said.

A few ticks later and his head was a few feet from the corner that lead straight away to the hub door, a voice he was dreading to hear seemingly having a conversation with someone.

"Have you managed to shake them off your trail?" A deep, monotone voice asked, it was broken with static, so it was probably a transmission.

"Yes, they do not suspect a thing." Shiro's voice was cold and emotionless, not a trace of the bubbly character that had been chatting with them the past few days.

"What about the systems, did you introduce the virus I gave you?" Virus? Shit, so Coran had been right, he had infected the ship with some shady galran program.

"Yes, it is done." His tone sent cold shivers down his spine, his arms tightening around his bayard instinctively.

"Wonderful, give me the coordinates." Shiro began saying a strungful of numbers that made no sense to Lance, but he understood what they meant, it was their location right now, since they couldn't move until repairs were done, he was relaying their position so the galra could come in and catch them unawares. He had to tell Allura as soon as possible.

"Good job, Ku-R00-N346-0, out of all the useless projects and clones we made, I knew you would be the most useful." He froze, no air reached his lungs, his hands shook and his eyes widened to the point they hurt, his mind ran into a wall, he couldn't follow a single thought, the only thing filling his muddled brain was the word _'clone'_ , repeating again and again while his heartbeat sped up and his lungs ached for air, but he couldn't get any, he was stuck in a state in which he couldn't remember how to draw in any oxygen, how to blink, how to think.

"I am sure Lord Zarkon will greatly praise me when I relay to him just how I tore Voltron from the inside, without them even noticing, it's too bad you couldn't snatch away the black lion, but this is even better." He silently gasped, clutching his bayard so tight his hands hurt, his legs cramped from his muscles being too tense and he was sweating, suddenly too warm, too much, he wasn't able to process, he couldn't breathe.

"Now, initiate _Project Kuron_ , stage four, you know what you have to do."

"Understood, initiating Stage Four, _Objective_ : eliminate the paladins of Voltron." He sat up so fast he thought he was going to puke, he gasped as his airways opened and he was finally able to draw in some air, gulping it down fast, too fast, but he had no time to think, no time to make up a plan, no time to hesitate. He rounded the corner and saw Shiro's robo arm, a tiny screen was on his palm and he barely caught sight of a galran wearing a lab coat before the image fizzled out, and then the Shiro imposter was leaping at him, hand glowing purple.

He barely managed to evade him, dodging to the right and shooting a few times, aiming to rip his robotic arm out, he still couldn't think clearly, but he kew he was danger, danger, he needed to be stopped.

"Foolish paladin, you cannot defeat me." The guy was fast, running right at Lance without worrying about defending himself, taking the hits like they were nothing, his red eyes glared at him with zero emotion, they seemed to analyze him as he sliced with his hand, getting closer and closer everytime. He wasn't fast enough to duck this time and Kuron (was that his name?) managed to slice his cheek, blood slowly trickling down his face and into his breastplate, he jumped back and prepared for his next move.

They stood face to face, unmoving, Lance aiming at him with still shaky hands, but never missing a shot, while Kuron's wide eyes never left him, then, ever so slowly, a wicked smile took over his features as he tilted his head, his red pupils shining ominously in the dark.

"Why are you even fighting me, _paladin_? Is it to defend Voltron? The other paladins? It's useless, you are already too late,- he smirked, showing his teeth- they are already dead." Lance felt as if his whole world had stopped moving, memories of Hunk's hugs, Pidge's punches to the shoulder, Shiro's praise, Allura's warmth, Coran's encouragement and Keith's smile assaulting his mind, they shined brightly before shattering into a million pieces, and he felt tears form on the corner of his eyes, he was motionless, but inside, he was screaming, denying it with all his might, he was lying, he had to be lying, they were okay, he'll save them, they couldn't be-

His thought process stopped abruptly with a sudden urge to cough, his legs shook and his vision blurred, confused, he looked down, and the sight was something that made him want to vomit, Kuron's arm was glowing purple, sharp as a knife and hot as coal as it pierced right through his chest, close to the shoulder.

Finally giving in the tickling on his throat, he hacked and wheezed, blood dripping down his chin while his legs trembled with the strain of holding him up, he closed his eyes and cried, trying to breathe through his coughs, heartbeat picking up before gradually slowing.

"So naive, I knew you would be the easiest to kill, the weakest of all the paladins, just a few thought out words, and you shut down and lower your guard, your friends aren't really dead, you know? At least, not yet -he panted, whining in desperation- but they will be soon, aren't you glad you won't be alive to see it?" He glared up at him, spitting blood on his face, he didn't even blink, like a machine that cares for nothing, and Lance, dying and pained, knowing that his team was alive, gathered all his strength and anger and pointed his bayard right on his face, no hesitation, he pulled the trigger and watched as the other fell to the ground, the movement taking out the hand that was impaling his chest, making him cry out and fall to the floor, curling in on himself.

He barely noticed that he had fired his bayard with one hand, or that he was able to do it at close range because it had shifted into a small, but powerful, one handed gun, her twin laying somewhere to his left.

He gasped and choked, trying with all his might to just breathe, he managed to open his eyes and look around, right back at Kuron, but his vision was blurry and he could barely make out silhouettes, so he couldn't determine if he was still alive or just unconscious.

 _'Have to.....have to warn...warn the others...need to...protect...'_ With whatever energy he had left in him, which wasn't much, he put his arms under him in an attempt to get up, but they trembled so hard he fell right back down, crying out when his wound stung at the impact, tears forming on the corner of his eyes. The second time, his arms supported him, albeit weakly, and he accomplished the arduous feat of sitting up, leaning on the wall for support, his rapid breathing upsetting the silence of the night.

He wanted to get up, to run to his friends and tell them what happened, that he finally knew what was wrong, to warn them of the danger and protect them, protect their smiles, their laughs, their warmth... he wouldn't be able to live with himself if they were hurt because he was too late. He covered his wound with his left hand, putting pressure, trying to hold back the screams that wanted to leave his throat, and slowly, carefully, stood on his legs while leaning on the wall, legs shaking like a new born deer and blood trickling down his chin in a thin never ending stream.

He turned around, gaze falling on the figure face-down on the floor, but as much as he wanted to check on him, or restrain him, he didn't have the time, nor the energy to do it, he had to find the quickest way to reach one of the paladins, and the only way that occurred to him, was going down on the hatch that lead to the control room, and walk to the rooms from there. With a plan set, he trekked towards the hatch, leaving a trail of blood on the floor where he passed, and bloody handprints on the wall he was using as support, he was getting light headed and dizzy, which wasn't a good sign, but he had to hold on, at least until he reached one of his teammates, until he alerted them.

He was scared, oh so scared, his chest hurt, he could barely breathe, his eyesight was worsening every second that passed, and his body wasn't listening to him, movements sluggish and delayed, it hurt to even think, but..... _but_....as terrified as he was, as much as he wanted to break down crying and for someone to hold him, he had priorities, there were things in this world that he cared for more than his own life, one was his family back on earth, he would do anything for them, no matter the price he would have to pay.

The other was his mismatched space family, all his friends and the new people they had met, he had beginning to include Lotor in the picture of family, as a mature older brother he could confide in, and the generals, as little as he knew about them, were like big sisters, Ezor, specially, loved to hang out with Lance and chat about whatever.

He loves those people, holds them close to his heart, cares for them dearly, they are more important than his own life, he would sacrifice himself a thousand times over, if it meant they got to be safe, so yes, he might be bleeding through a hole on his chest, life steadily draining from him, but his objective is very clear, protect. _Protect what's yours, defend, shield._

Faraway, the voices of the lions joined him in that statement, howling in grief, whining in pain, but determined to uphold his wish to ' _protect'_ , lending him the energy necessary to continue moving, until eventually he found himself in front of the hatch, the door opening in a quick motion, beckoning him inside, he stepped in without hesitation and held onto the handle on the ceiling, the movement straining his wound, making his vision black out for a tick.

As soon as his vision came back, he realized his hand was slipping from the handle, and the hatch at his feet had opened to let him down, he didn't manage to brace himself on time, his reactions too slow, and as his hand slipped completely, he fell down, body landing on a heap and hitting his head on the metal floor, the sound echoing around him, deafening. He thought he might had blacked out for a while there, but can barely follow a thought for the life of him, can't remember what he was doing there in the first place, or why he wasn't just sleeping, sleep sounded nice...

The howls and growls on the back of his mind remind him of his mission, his wish, _protect._

Blue nudged him, sadness coating her ethereal presence, her cool and soothing voice encouraging him to get up, not give up, continue. And he does so, he follows her lead as she guides him through the hallways and corridors, lending him the quintessence necessary to go on, he doesn't notice that he's stopped putting pressure on his wound, nor the bloody trail he left behind, or the trickle that goes down his chin and throat, mingling with the mess on his chest, metal sticking out from where Kuron's hand had broken in.

What he notices, though, is when Blue stops her directions, and Red swoops in, nuzzling him, trying to comfort him, practically shoving him at the door just a few feet before him, her voice transmitting her thoughts, _'Go on, go in, he'll help, don't fear.'_ And right now, he doesn't even know what fear means, what it's like, because he barely feels anything at all, the pain ebbing away as the seconds tick by, but he still has something to do, something to accomplish, so mustering all the energy he has left, he raises a hand and knocks, softly, but loud enough to be heard, and after a few ticks, he answers.

"Ugh, who is it? It's....four a.m, what the fuck?" Keith sounds sleepy, much like Lance feels at the moment, the red paladin would have woken up in two hours anyway, but hates when he's awaken before his alarm clock rings.

"K....Keith.." His vocal chords are wrecked, and it sounds garbled and mumbled, as if he was drunk or on the verge of sleep, he doesn't know if the other had heard him, or understood him, but he didn't have to wait long to find out.

"....Lance." His name was said so monotonously, it made him want to cry. "What do you want? I don't feel like talking right now, go back to sleep." The sound of sheets rustling gave the idea that the other paladin had gone back to bed, leaving Lance swaying dangerously on his feet, about to die in a hallway, with no one there, without being able to tell him, to make him understand, _'That's not your brother, the real Shiro is still out there'._

He would have tried again, but his throat only managed to gurgle as more blood came up, his knees giving out below him, and he fell, body resting against the door, cheek smushed against the cool metal that felt heavenly on his fevered skin, and he gave up, stopped trying, of course Keith wouldn't want to talk to him, of course he would brush him away, thinking he was being annoying or playing a prank. Red was wrong, she lead him here, and he was going to die being useless, not able to tell his team about the imminent peril, he wept at the notion that his death would be pointless, without meaning, and decided to just close his eyes and forget about everything, why did it matter, anyway, it was over.

The door he was resting against opened, and he fell sideways, body falling limp on the floor, he opened his eyes slightly, and felt, before he saw, hands holding him up, cradling his head against someone's chest while another covered his wound, which he could barely feel anyway, so there was no point. When he looked up, he came face to face with a terrified Keith, eyes frantic and wide, mouth spewing words so jumbled together that he couldn't discern what exactly he was saying, then it looked like he was screaming on the intercoms, only to gaze back at Lance again, lips trembling and face pale.

"Lance, hey, loot at me, you're gonna be fine, you hear me? It's okay, I've got you." Keith tried to smile, but it came out pained, his eyes watering, but Lance appreciated it anyway, it made his mouth twitch, wanting to grin himself, but his muscles aren't working, just like his heart, his lungs, his throat, his brain. They are rapidly going off line, leaving him a few precious seconds to do what he was meant to do, protect what's yours, what you care for.

"S....shir...o..." Keith closed in on him, trying to hear what he was saying.

"You...you want me to call Shiro here? I...-he looked at Lance in pain- I can do that...I understand why you wouldn't want me to....I....but not right now, I need to keep pressure on the wound, I need to-" He was cut off by Lance coughing up more blood, making an already scared Keith tremble with the idea that it might be too late, his grip on Lance tightening.

"N...no...he...Shir...o...hurt...me....he...evil...galra..." His eyes felt heavy now, and he was struggling to keep them open, knowing that ultimately, it was a lost battle, the red paladin looked paralyzed, as if his thought process had been frozen, he lifted the hand on Lance's wound slowly, as to not hurt him further, and inspected the wound quickly before covering it again, he was openly crying now, tears cascading down his pale cheeks.

"Oh no, no, nonononono, oh god no." He saw as the other gasped, trying not to sob, lips wobbling and brow furrowed, he must have seen the wound, noticed it looked like the ones Shiro would leave on the galran sentries as he crushed their robotic chests, leaving them useless piles of metal.

"Shit, Lance, please no, oh god, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, please don't die, look at me, please." He wanted to do that, wanted his friend to be happy again, but he was done, he had warned him, he had protected, his mission was fulfilled, he could finally rest now. He scarcely noted as his breathing stopped, or when his mind was filled with static and white noise, no ideas crossed his brain, no air reached his lungs, his vision dimmed and his hearing stopped completely, the last sight he caught was of Keith, sobbing, clutching at him in desperation as he shouted words that he could no longer hear.

Then, there was nothing.

\--

He woke up screaming.

Images crossed his mind in a mess of thoughts and feelings that left him confused and agitated, his blood was boiling in his veins and his vision was blurry and unfocused, when he tried to get up, he was so dizzy he ended up on the floor, a mess of limbs, snot and tears.

There was a buzzing sound in his ear, like distant noises or voices trying to reach him, but his unstable mind wasn't capable of processing anything, the only thought filling his whole being was to warn, to move, search for his friends and make sure they were all right. He shoot up, slipping on the floor and barely holding out his hands so he wouldn't fall again, he stood, and ran, ran as quick and fast as he could, intent on going to the common room, where his family would surely be, he needed to see them, to check they were alive, that he wasn't too late.

He took the hatch and exited as soon as he was on the first floor, eyes darting around frantically, before walking up to the door, which opened when it detected movement. Before him stood his friends, all of them, Pidge was seated with her laptop, typing something, Hunk was sitting crosslegged on the couch, with Allura to his right, and Keith was leaning against the wall on the left of the room. Just watching them, alive and healthy, brought a wave of relief so intense, he felt like he was going to faint, he sagged, legs trembling, but a bout of anxiety drew him back to his earlier state.

"Guys, guys, listen, this is urgent." His voice sounded kinda off, but he didn't have time to ponder on it, Shiro, Shiro, he had to tell them about him.

"What is it dude? You're as pale as a sheet, are you....shaking? Is everything okay?" Hunk eyed him up and down, maybe trying to find out what was going on in his head, _'Well, good luck with that one buddy, because not even I know the answer to that'._

"No, no, nonono, it's-he's- Shiro!" At their leader's name, everyone on the room stopped what they were doing and gazed at him, some in confusion, others in worry.

"What is wrong with Shiro, is he okay?" The princess got up from the couch, gaze concerned and hands clasped together.

"Where is he?" Keith walked a few steps towards him, fists clenched and jaw taut.

"No, you don't get it, that's not-he's not, he's not Shiro! He's a- a clone they made, he's evil, he's sided with the galra and plan to destroy Voltron from the inside!" Finally telling them lifted a weight from his shoulders, and he felt himself sigh in relief, the feeling was short lived, though.

"What the fuck Lance?" The red paladin's brows were furrowed, and he clenched his teeth so tight his jaw was trembling, his whole body was tense and looked ready to snap at any moment.

"Did you just wake up? Did you have a nightmare?" Pidge was incredulous, looking at him like she looked at people that said they believed in ghosts, skeptical and amused. He looked down at himself and noticed that in his haste to run away, he forgot to change from his blue lion pajamas, he was also barefoot and probably looked disheveled and a mess in general.

"No, listen, this is for real, I'm not lying -sure buddy, maybe go back to sleep?- no, just,-good god you worried me for a second there- fucking _listen!!_ " His yell echoed throughout the room and everyone fell silent, eyes widening at Lance, who never shouted for any reason whatsoever, unless the situation was dire or there was danger ahead.

"For once, just _once_ , please listen, I'm not making this up, this is not a prank or-or something, Shiro is not the real Shiro, he's a clone, he's trying to kill us and destroy Voltron from the inside, he's sabotaging the castle, you have to believe me!" From the looks on his friend's faces, he knew they didn't believe anything he said, he felt himself tearing up, a few tears falling down his cheeks, Keith looked ready to blow up, but seemed to be holding back at the sight of his tears, Allura was hesitant between trying to comfort him and telling him to go back to sleep, whereas Pidge and Hunk, who he always trusted to have his back, were frowning, the latter biting his lip as he did when he was anxious.

"Okay, look, we've seen a lot of crazy stuff in space." He turned to look at Pidge, who gazed at him sadly before continuing." It's not impossible that the technology to clone actually exists, but in the event that it does, when and why would they have done one of Shiro? When they first captured him, no one knew he was going to end up being the Black paladin, it makes no sense to just clone some random guy who fights on the gladiator ring." Lance understood this, knew that it was logical and made sense, but he knew what he'd seen, knew what was right, on his mind there was only one truth, and it was ' _Not Shiro'_.

"Nononono -he groaned- can't you _see?_ Black rejected him, because he's not _him_! He's not his paladin, what more proof do you need?" Allura was frowning hard now, biting her nails, lost in thought, she looked up at him before speaking.

"The technology actually exists, but it was banned the same movement it was created." She looked anxious to share that kind of information.

"Holy cow, it does exist?" Pidge was ecstatic, Lance just wanted them to _listen,_ he paced, biting his lip, scratching at his forearms.

"Why was it banned?" Hunk inquired, cusiosity spiked at the sudden reveal of information.

"Besides the typical moral and social dilemmas that arose, it was quite controversial at the time, to make a clone, you just needed a sample of the genetic make up of the original, then the machine would replicate the body, but it would be just that, an empty body, with no soul. To change that, a copy of the original's memories and whole being would have to be made, but it was discovered that only magic could manage to copy them in a way that could be transferred to the clone, a living being, and to do so, quite the amount of quintessence was needed, much more than what an average person has."

"Adding to that, the copying process was so taxing, that the original ended up suffering secondary effects, and eventually, death, so even if they had achieved the copy and transfer of the info, the original would have probably died. It was considered way too dangerous and morally ambiguous, and it's practice was prohibited throughout all the universe, with the technology destroyed for good and all the data erased." He could hear the green paladin whistle in awe, while Hunk couldn't decide on an emotion to feel, and eventually settled for uncomfortable.

"I don't care about the why's and the how's and whatever the hell you're saying -she glared at him- this is serious, why are you all taking this like some sort of joke? I'm trying to save your lives! _Shiro. Is .a .clone_!" The whirring sound of the door opening startled him, but he heard the voice behind him speak, and fear rooted him to the floor, he gasped for breath while his hands itched to find his bayard, only to remember he'd left it in his room.

"What is this about clones? Are we discussing ancient technology?"

He whirled around and snarled at the black paladin, his muscles tense and fists clenched, ready to strike, the other just smiled down at him, though it fell down a little when he saw the furious state he was in, not-Shiro walked a step forward, and he rapidly took one backwards, wary, on alert, all of his five senses on edge.

"How c-could you, you fa-ake, where is the _real_ Shiro?" He snapped at the older man, his shaking making him stutter while he narrowed his eyes, daring Shiro to deny what Lance knew was the truth. The black paladin just stood there awkwardly, gazing at him, confusion etched on his expression, mouth in a tight line, there was sadness on his eyes, but he wouldn't be fooled, he knew what lay behind his kind facade.

"Lance...what are you saying? Is there something wrong? Did I do something to upset you?" He approached while he talked, and no matter how much he tried, Lance wasn't able to move, sort of terrified of what he would do, his mind couldn't catch up with his erratic thoughts. "How about you come with me outside? -he whimpered pitifully- We can talk about this and find a solution, yeah? I just need you to calm down, c'mon buddy." As soon as Shiro laid his hand on his shoulder, he shot up like lightning, slapping his hand away and backing a few steps, breath labored and heartbeat way too fast to be healthy, he realized he was panicking, but there was nothing he could do, he wasn't thinking rationally at the moment, the words just kept pouring from his lips, his filter gone.

"No, nonono don't you dare! I'm not going anywhere alone with you!! If you want to murder me you're going to have to do it in front of everyone! Or are you too much of a coward to do that, uh?- _Lance, stop_!- Are you, Shiro? Or should I call you by your _real name_?" He knew the others couldn't see it from where they were standing, telling him, yelling at him to please calm down and sit so they could talk it out. But he saw it, clear as day, how Shiro stilled, eyes going wide and blank before narrowing into slits, his body tensed and his fists clenched, and Lance knew he got him, there was no escaping now.

"Ku-R00-N346-0, otherwise known as....Kuron." Kuron's eyes wiped out, leaving them blank and without emotion, his body, that had been rigid and straight as a wall, sagged, his face angled so his expression couldn't be seen, his fist also unclenched and he swayed, as if he was about to fall, and Lance, well....he smiled, wide and crazed, hysterical, and turned to look at his friends that were frozen, staring at him in concern.

"Look, look at him, do you finally _see?_ How he reacted to my words? I was telling the truth, his name is Project Kuron and he-" He was interrupted by a swishing sound close to him, sort of similar to the one a knife makes as it slices through the air, his friends faces, that up to this point had been looking at him in concern, morphed into looks of terror, bewilderment and anger.

Then all hell broke loose, screams, shrieks, wails and battle cries filled the room as he felt himself being thrown forward, stumbling a few steps before falling face down on the floor, confused and stunned. He craned his neck, and was able to look back at Kuron, only to see him grinning, from ear to ear, showing his teeth while his eyes shined a brilliant red, a red as deep as the one coating his robotic hand, which he had used to slice Lance open.

 _'Oh...so that's what happened...'_ His adrenaline and panic had poofed, his mind strangely silent and devoid of any feeling or presence, just a blank slate existing without a purpose, he had a few seconds of reprieve, before everything came crashing down on him at once and he let out a wail that echoed throughout the room, mingling with the battle noises all around him.

It hurt, oh god it hurt, why did this have to happen? What did he do to deserve this? Why had he done this in the first place? He should have waited, maybe? Thought of a plan? He tried to remember why he had been in such a hurry, and realized he couldn't, he wasn't able to pinpoint the reason for such haste, or the terror and panic that had taken hold of his very core. He only knew he had fucked up, badly, and now he was going to pay for it.

After what felt like hours to him, but was probably only a few minutes, strong arms sneaked around his back and under his knees, and someone hoisted him up with care, gently, as to not aggravate his wounds. He opened his eyes to the best of his ability, and saw Allura running away with a grave expression on her beautiful face, she stopped shortly after, not even breaking a sweat, and looked down at him with a sorrowful expression, eyes full of regret.

"Lance, oh Lance, I'm so, so sorry." She stroked his cheek tenderly, and he sighed relaxing into the touch. "I should have listened to you, we all should've, and now, because I couldn't leave my anger aside you're hurt, I know I don't deserve it, but I ask that you forgive me, I'm sorry, I'm sorry." Her voice shook, like she was going to cry, and that wasn't something he wanted to witness, besides, he had already forgiven her, she had probably just been scared when he brought Lotor in without warning, she had a personal, dark history with Zarkon, he knew that given time, she would have come talk to him on her own accord, but none of that mattered now, he just wanted her and everyone else to be safe.

"S'okay....I forgive you....I'ready did...anyway..."He tried to smile up at her, but he couldn't control his muscles at this point, it took way too much energy, so he just weakly nuzzled his head on her collarbone, and hoped he got the message across.

"Oh Lance..." She gasped, voice wavering, ducking her head to rest her forehead against his, her warmth soothing in the cold embrace that was rapidly getting a hold of him. Far away, he could still hear the sounds of a fight going on, yells and the sounds of metal clashing filling the peaceful silence that permeated the hallway.

The princess took a deep breath, letting it out slowly, her hold on him tightening, she closed her eyes, the long lashes tickling his face, and when she opened them, they were full of fire and a fierce determination, she walked over to an intercom on the near wall, and broadcasted an emergency message to all inhabitants of the castle, summoning them to the common room to aid in the fight while also asking for Coran to go to the med bay immediately.

"Lance, I'm going to lay you down on the floor okay? I need to go back, they can't hold him off on their own, but worry not, I'll send someone back for you, focus on breathing, and do not fall asleep, understood?" He nodded, but even as he did, his eyes were already drooping, it was as if his eyelids weighted tons, but because she asked so softly, her tone terrified, he tried his best, and watched as she ran back the way they came, long haid fluttering like clouds behind her and dress ripped from were she tore it to be able to move freely.

He had just closed his eyes for a tick to stop the lights from hurting his eyes, when footsteps warned him of someone approaching, said person stopped close to him, and a hand, rough and callused touched his cheek before patting it a few times, trying to rouse him up, most likely.

"C'mon, wake up, don't do this to me, Lance." Their voice was soft, and reminded him of the rustling of trees, the sizzling of a fireplace, sand flowing in a desert, it reminded him of warmth, of an intense desire to belong, of a recklessness that was stupid as it was brave, it reminded him of _red._

"Keith..." He squinted as his eyes opened, and as blurry as his vision was, he could still make out Keith's silhouette before him, brows creased in worry, he was covered in scratches and burns, but otherwise looked fine, that was a relief, he didn't want his friends to get hurt.

His teammate sighed in relief, before quickly holding him the same way Allura had done just moments earlier, it took him a few tries, but he finally managed to hold Lance into his arms, gasping in horror as he did so, when he followed Keith's gaze, he understood why. Where he had been lying down before, a pool of blood remained, thick and large, flowing down in a never ending waterfall down his back, trickling to the floor, dripping consistently.

With a quick whirl, Keith began running, his grip on Lance never faltering, no matter how heavy he was, he rested his head on the red paladin's shoulder and listened to his heartbeat, rapid, frantic, but lulling his to sleep nonetheless.

"Shit, Lance open your eyes, I need you awake, c'mon stay with me, Allura came back because we needed help containing Shiro, or Kuron, or whoever the heck he is, but I don't know why she thought sending me back was a good idea." He realized that Keith was rambling, which was strange, it wasn't something the other paladin did, maybe he only did it when he was nervous, or felt backed into a corner, whatever the reason, his voice calmed Lance, so he asked him to go on.

"She told me to run to the med bay with you, said that Coran would be there as fast as he could, she stayed back to fight Shiro, she looked really mad, too." Lance smiled, the princess could be really scary when she wanted to, and she was strong and smart to boot, Kuron was fucked, and the thought made him giddy with satisfaction.

Keith looked at him strangely, wondering why he would smile in the situation he was in, but held back his comments and skidded to a halt, they were in front of the med bay, the doors opening to show Coran, stomping around while cursing - in what was probably altean- really loudly while tinkering with the machines and the pods. The red paladin ran inside, calling the altean's name, who turned around fast, an enraged expression morphing his features into something terrifying.

"Lance, my boy, oh quiznack." Coran ran to him, and asked Keith to lay him down gently on the bed to the right, immediately after, a machine was scanning him and showing the extent of the injury. "This is not good, he needs a pod soon, we don't have much time." Coran sounded panicked, his hands trembling as he typed a few commands on the computer.

"What are you waiting for, then? He's bleeding out as we talk! Let's put him in the pod now!" Keith gazed back at Lance, worry overtaking his face, and he managed to send him a shaky smile while he concentrated on continue breathing.

"That's the problem!! We can't!" Coran pucnched the panel, frustration present on his tone. "I don't know what Shiro did, but the systems don't work! The pods are offline and no matter what command I try to input, the castle is not listening to me!!" A few tears gathered on the corners of Coran's eyes, his eyebrows pinched and jaw tight.

" I can't even hook him to an IV or anything to help him because everything on this damned ship is computerized! The only way to bring the pods back online is to search for the hub that controls this specific function and fix it manually." Keith seemed frozen in time, his eyes wide while he breathed a 'No', breathing irregular and hands shaking as he looked back at Lance, who at this point wasn't paying attention because he had the feeling he was forgetting something, only, he couldn't quite remember what it was.

"But....you can't..we need to do something!" Their shouting was making his ears hurt, and he whimpered in pain which caught his friends's attention, they immediately stopped, muttering apologies, and changed their tone so as to speak more softly.

"Okay, help me with this, Keith, we're going to bandage him up as best as we can, then I am going to run like a madman to search for that hub and fix it, as soon as the pods come back online, you need to put him inside, I'll teach you how while we apply the bandages." Coran took some medical supplies from a worn out metal box, and asked Keith to hoist him up and support him while the altean wrapped the cloth around his torso, the red paladin obeyed, his touch gentle and careful, seating Lance up, who rested his head on Keith's shoulder.

Coran began dressing his wound, methodically, with only the expertise an experieced doctor would have while simultaneously explaining to Keith how to operate the pods, it took him only a few ticks to finish, and soon he was laying down again, looking up at Keith's terrified expression.

"I'll be going now, please, keep him safe." And with those words, Coran ran away, fast as lightning, leaving the both of them alone, the silence was stifling, but Lance didn't think he could talk right now, his back burned and his chest felt tight, wetness was spreading from his mid back and down his spine, making him shudder, and a sound similar to a groan, but way more pitiful, left his lips before he could stop it.

"Lance, hey, are you okay? What am I saying of course you're not, just...do you need anything?" Keith, awkward, aloof, and always a loner, was trying his best to comfort him, looking at him in desperation and concern, and Lance, feeling drained, and knowing deep down that he had no salvation, asked for human contact, something he loved and craved for.

"M'cold....can you....snuggle..." Keith's face did a weird thing, but he moved forwards and sat on the edge of the bed, the mattress dipping slightly at his weight.

"Only you would call it snuggles while you're at deaths door." The red paladin looked pained, his eyes shined and his lashes looked wet, mouth trembling as he tried to smile. He shed his jacket and boots and crawled into the bed, stopping at Lance's side, but that wouldn't do, he was terrified of dying alone, and he was chilled to the bone, he needed actual body contact for this to be comforting, he would regret this later -or not, because he would be dead- and told Keith exactly what he wanted.

"Hey....please....hold me...don't wanna....die alone..." His own voice was weak and barely a whisper, and it seemed Keith couldn't keep a straight face anymore, he came forward and held Lance in a hug, weeping softly, stroking his hair and muttering nonsense.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry I treated you so bad lately, I didn't mean it, I didn't mean anything I said, I'm just not used to trusting people, everyone I care for always leave, so I keep people away, never let anyone in, never getting attached." He stopped, gasping and swallowing, trying to regulate his breathing to no avail.

"But I unknowingly began trusting the team, trusting _you_ , and then you betrayed me and _lied_ , and I hate lies, my dad told me he would come back for me, and he _didn't_ , Shiro told me he would be back soon, but he _didn't_ , then he told me he was never going away again, but he _did,_ you told me I could trust you, but then I _couldn't_. And I was so mad, so insecure, I thought I couldn't trust anyone ever again, what was the point if everyone ended up letting me down?" His breath hitched, and Lance wanted to console him, tell him that he was sorry too, that he understood and would try to be a better friend and teammate, but his vision was obscuring and he couldn't make out anything, he could only hear his voice, hold onto him, nuzzle his head on his collarbone, much like he had done ealier, and hoped his message got across.

"I thought it would be better if I surrounded myself with walls, like I've done all my life, that way it wouldn't hurt so much, and then Shiro came back, and I was happy, but he was acting strange, and I didn't want to believe something was wrong, I ignored it, ignored _you_ , tried to keep all of you away, and look how that ended up." He said everything in a rush, stumbling over his words, slurring some together when his breath would hitch and he would stutter, his hold on Lance tighter as the seconds ticked by, and Lance was scared, cold, blind, and pretty much gone, but he wanted to make his friend feel better, wanted him not to be sad.

"S'kay....not your fault...m'sorry too...m'gonna....sleep now....see you later...." Keith's arms shook around him, and he cried harder, telling him to hold on, that the pods were coming back soon, but he knew it was no use, this was the end of the road for him, he closed his eyes and enjoyed the warmth that shrouded the paladin of fire, sighing softly, everything faded away, like a black curtain was pulled down, and he thought he felt the fluttering touch of lips on his forehead, before white noise filled his world, and it was over.

\--

He woke up with a gasp, but this time there was the soothing feeling of cold and ice surrounding him, keeping him calm and serene, he didn't even bother opening his eyes nor moving, deciding instead to recount all the events that had happened and all the info he could gather from it, it took him a grand total of fifteen minutes, and what he got out of it was this.

_He was a fucking idiot._

He let out a groan so loud it echoed in his room, and he could hear sighs and feel metaphorical shaking of heads going on in his brain place, Blue was the only one slightly amused, but it was shadowed by her concern and worry. Lance curled up in a ball and willed himself to disappear, only to be disappointed when it didn't happen, he felt so embarrassed and...and...silly, this was the epitome of top ten stupid things Lance McClain has done.

He forgot he couldn't fucking _die_.

How do you forget something like that, he would never know, but he did, and fucked up big time, and embarrassed himself in front of Allura, and his team, and Keith....he felt dizzy suddenly, his conversation with the red paladin coming back full force thanks to Red's nudging and prodding on his brain, and he felt so, so guilty.

Of course Keith had his own issues, of course he had reasons for being mad and feeling hurt, he should have known that his actions didn't affect everyone the same way, just like Hunk was disappointed but was able to forgive him, or Pidge thought long and hard about it and did so, too, Keith was affected by his actions as well, he couldn't have known how he felt about trusting others or opening up, but it was clear as day, with what the other had told him, that Lance had hurt him deeply, and left him bitter and seeking isolation so as to avoid being let down anymore.

Red growled while Blue purred, both snuggling on his side, and yeah, he felt like a jerk now, and sadness was crawling into his whole being knowing that the Keith of right now still hated him, still fet betrayed and alone. Red whined, and he shook his head, he would go back and think more about it later, right now, though, he had a few issues at hand.

So, he forgot he couldn't die, he had woken up panicked, thinking that Kuron was going to kill all his friends and that he had to avoid that scenario at all costs, even if the price was his life, of course that was futile because he just rewinded and ended up at the beginning, his past self had really been out of it, holy shit.

Black sent him a thought, something about not listening and being too unstable to get through him, that explained the buzzing noise on his ear when he woke up last time, the lions had been trying to stop him, to protect him from doing something stupid and getting himself killed, but his brain had been mush, just thinking about uncovering Kuron and saving his friends, then about not dying alone and cheering up Keith.

He apologized to his mechanical friends, but they understood, said his mind had been like a labyrinth that they couldn't get out of, that finding him had been near impossible, he had been so unstable from the shock of what he had discovered previously, that his mind had temporary forgotten some info to keep him functioning.

It hadn't worked in his favor, obviously, he had messed up big time, the only good thing about this was that he knew Shiro was fake, he was a clone, he knew how to activate his 'kill mode' and reveal to the others that he was evil, but he needed to think of a plan to defeat him, because as far as he remembered, the paladins plus Lotor weren't able to handle him, and Allura had to go back and join the fray.

Allura...she had a apologized too, thought it felt hollow now, being aware that she didn't even want to talk to him at the moment, but knowing she felt like making up in the future, whether that may be, motivated him and swiped away some of the gloom that coated his thoughts.

He sighed, face palming and running his hands down his face and hair, he had at least two days before Kuron did something dangerous, he had to craft a plan in that time, give small hints to the others that something wasn't quite right with their leader, and with a bit of luck, when he revealed the truth, they would be more willing to believe him.

Hopefully.

He really didn't want to die again, it wasn't a fun experience, and it fucked with his brain, right now Blue was keeping him stabilized, but as soon as she stopped, he would feel the full force of his deaths and the events that transpired, and his mind would spin and be tugged in many directions all at once, and he would probably vomit and feel like shit.

Sleep was a much more alluring thing to be doing right now, his eyes dropped, as if agreeing with him, he yawned and sighed, loving how Blue's presence wrapped around him like a blanket, keeping him safe.

He turned on his side, nuzzled his pillow, and drifted off.

He could deal with his problems tomorrow.

 


	6. Clone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After his previous failures, Lance comes to terms with his situation and strives to find a way to make his teammates notice just how wrong things are regarding Kuron/Shiro, using all the information he gathered on both his redos to tip the balance in his favour.  
> Everything seems to go smoothly, and he's pretty sure that things are going to be fine, but fate has a way of messing with him, and things take a turn for the worst when some unexpected guests reveal some knowledge that destroy all his efforts in one smooth swipe.  
> After that, all hell breaks loose, some answers are found, a light seems to be seen at the end of the tunnel, and he ends the day way more confused and distressed than he expected.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, here we are with a new update! I'm excited for this arc, wanted to write it for a long time, there's still some scenes that I'm not 100% happy with, but that's life.  
> Kuron's arc continues to develop and we get some answers, and a shit load of questions to acompany it, the arc that follows this one is actually my favorite, and i know i'm going to die writing it, but i'm also super excited about it, it'll be still a while until we reach that point, but I hope you stick with me until then. :)  
> Thank you from the bottom of my heart to everyone who commented (i adore u guys), bookmarked, suscribed, left kudos or just took the time to read this, you always make my day and bring a smile to my face.  
> Stay awesome.  
> Love, ULTI. <3

He woke up, again, and immediately noticed that Blue's presence had withdrawn from the comforting embrace she had been offering, leaving Lance to fend off for himself. Not that he blamed her, sooner or later he would have to face the onslaught of emotions and feelings that came with every redo, she couldn't protect him forever, and she knew this. Worse yet, was the fact that he had rewinded twice in a row, because he had been an idiot and his brain had been messed up, so now he'll have to endure two times the pain, two times the heartache, two times the panic and horror he felt.

As soon as he was fully conscious, no trace of sleep left in his psyche, he was assaulted with an earth shattering migraine, he gripped his head with his hands and curled in on himself, trying to will the pain away. He opened his eyes slightly, but everything was blurry and the light hurt his vision, he barely managed to whisper a command so the lights would dim, leaving him shrouded in darkness.

He tried to steady his breathing, in and out, in and out, but it was no use, he gasped as another wave of pain hit him full force, this time accompanied with the feeling of terror and fear, coupled with anxiety and longing, and he was left a mess on the sheets, writhing and gasping, trying to regain some sort of balance.

The silence around him was kind of welcome, nothing to disturb him and aggravate his already killer migraine, he could try and calm down like this, the only sounds reaching his ears being his soft pants and pained cries. He stayed like that for a while, curled up into a ball, hands holding his head, breath erratic and heartbeat too fast whilst waves of emotion and flashes of past events crossed his mind, leaving him disoriented and worn.

After what felt like hours, it finally stopped, and this time he managed not to vomit ( _not for lack of wanting to_ ), he relaxed his muscles, going limp on the mattress, and slowly regulated his breathing before trying to gain any semblance of normalcy. He clenched and unclenched his fist, testing his strength, and then stretched his arms, sighing when he heard the joints pop.

That hadn't been fun, his everything hurt, his mind, his body, his heart, he knew that he had cried while he was suffering the after effects of the redo, some memories and feelings being too much for him to handle. But the moments that had stayed with him the most, the ones that broke him, had been when Allura had apologized to him, and when Keith had explained how Lance's actions had hurt him.

His heart had been beating like crazy then, and his eyes had filled with tears before he'd been able to regain his bearings, so he'd given up, and just _felt_ , sobbing uncontrollably while waves of regret and sadness overwhelmed him, sapping away his energy and making his headache worse. Then, abruptly, it had stopped, and he'd sighed in relief.

Now that it was over, though, Blue's presence got close to him, whispering sweet words to try and comfort him, her cool being snuggling on his side, apologizing for leaving him alone, but trying to convey that it was necessary, she couldn't have kept the after effects at bay for much longer.

"I know, Baby Blue, thanks for worrying about me, but I kinda bought this on myself, no matter how brain fucked I was." She purred in delight, happy that he wasn't mad, but that thought had never even crossed his mind, his girl always did what was best for him, after all. "Still, we have a severe problem now, with the Ku-.... _Shiro_ thing." He nearly slipped, he couldn't say Kuron's name out loud, it was what activated his robot like personality, the uncaring, unfeeling, cold and lifeless one, the same one that had hurt Lance without a second thought, without hesitation, looking at him like he was a bug at his feet, ready to be squished.

"I need to know how to go about this." He tapped his leg in a repetitive motion, looking at the ceiling in wonder before biting his thumb, brows furrowing. " If I make even one mistake, the guy will destroy me and everyone else, they seemed to have trouble handling him _before,_ though I didn't get to see much, back then." The lions all rumbled in agreement, all but Black, who was strangely silent, and Lance worried, sending a feeling of question to the mechanical lion.

He answered a tick later, muffled thoughts and mixed up emotions getting back to him, he analyzed the whole, and tried to translate, more or less, what Black was trying to say. It was a mixture of _'He's not my paladin'_ , ' _I'm sad'_ and _'There's still something missing'._ Blue growled suddenly in his ear, startling him, and she sent a thought that said she agreed with her leader, she felt something was off with that Shiro too, something else.

"Okay, I get it, I need to keep an eye on him, but there's still the question as to what should I do, I could follow the original events, up to the night I discovered him, and try to take him out on my own, then just try and explain it to the guys." A negative rumble vibrated all around him, a clear _'No'_ was sent his way.

" _Fine_ , then I could just...try and do what I did the second time, but with less recklessness and a more thought out plan, give small hints to the others so they begin suspecting him, maybe install that camera Coran gave me, and then reveal his identity again with the correct command, I would only have to dodge his attack..." The lions shook their metaphorical heads, it just didn't seem plausible, he was fast, agile, strong and deadly, even if he thought of something, the clone would most likely one up him, he would end up redo-ing again, and that was completely unacceptable.

"I know, but what else am I supposed to do? I have the info I need, I know the truth! I just don't know how to use it in my favor..." Ultimately, the lions told him to go with what his gut told him, that being their version of _'Just go with the flow'_ , and honestly, he wasn't thrilled to do that, it could end in so many ways -none of them being good for Lance- but did he really have a choice?

He had three days until Shiro gave their coordinates to that galran, three days until he activated the protocol for their destruction. In that time, he had to talk to everyone, make them see that something was really wrong with their leader, look for proof and evidence that he was leaking data from Voltron to the enemy, and then, somehow, reveal that he was a clone, and hope with all his might that his teammates would believe him.

 _Yeah_ , things didn't look easy for him.

At least he had Lotor to talk to, and his generals, when they came tomorrow, he just had to figure out how to be inconspicuous while he planned his next move. His mind more or less made up, he ate and dressed, much like he did the first time, and slowly walked to the elevator, knowing that Lotor would be there in a bit. But just as he left his room, he changed his mind and walked back inside, getting ready a cup of space coffee before running back to the elevator's door, waiting for it to open.

Just as he expected, as the lift passed the second floor, the door opened and the prince walked inside, leaning heavily on the wall while he sighed, visibly exhausted. He looked disheveled and had bags under his eyes, his armor had been shed in favor of more comfortable clothing, still regal and fine, but more...informal, was the word.

Lance approached him and smiled "Rough night?" He offered the cup of space coffee to Lotor, and the other gratefully accepted it, taking small sips and groaning after a while, head resting on the metal panel to his left.

"You could say that. Thank you for the beverage, by the way, it tastes delicious, I feel myself getting energized already." He smiled back at Lance, holding the cup with both hands while he blew small puffs of air at it, trying to cool it down.

"You took it without even knowing what it was?" Lance raised an eyebrow, bemused.

"I did, but only because it was from you, I knew it couldn't be bad." Lotor grinned and Lance felt a laugh bubbling up from his stomach and up his throat, letting it free when he couldn't hold it back anymore. The prince joined him a tick later, neither really knowing why they were so giddy, but enjoying it nonetheless. It was probably a mixture of exhaustion, lack of sleep, and having his brain messed up too many times.

They continued for a while until they were breathless, stopping altogether, drying their tears and calming their erratic breathing back to normal. Lance gazed back at the other and remembered that he had shared some of his troubles with Lance before, so he decided that he would keep it the same, and asked the prince about it.

"What's wrong, though? Wanna talk about it?" He tilted his head and wiggled his eyebrows playfully, making Lotor snort, though he tried to cover it as a cough.

"It's nothing serious or life threatening, really, it's just my generals. I explained to you that they are quite protective, yes? -He nodded- Well, it gets worse with distance, they can't be here to verify that I'm healthy and cared for, their instincts go haywire and make them anxious. Normally, we would share our bedding- ah, what did you call it- cuddle, yes." Lance smiled tenderly at that, happy that the prince remembered the little things he'd been teaching him about Earth language.

"Usually, we would cuddle on the same space until their worries vanished, but since they can't physically be here to do that, they've been calling me non stop on the transmissor, barely letting me sleep, talking with me until the early hours, and my throat is feeling the effects of it." Woah, it must be difficult, for both him and his sisters, they were probably really worried, wanting to be there as soon as possible. After all, they had heard that one of the paladins had killed him, and just learnt from him that he had been kidnaped and brainwashed, he understood why they'd be frantic.

A beeping sound startled him out of his musings, and he whipped around to look at Lotor, who glared in frustration at the small device on his wrist, he sagged and didn't pick it up, silencing it for the time being and enjoying the small reprieve he got.

"If you're so tired, why don't you go back to sleep? I'm sure nobody would mind." The galran shook his head, straightening his posture and looking Lance in the eyes, determination flaring in his gaze as he spoke.

"I heard that you brought the black paladin back safely, and that you're going to meet with him today. This may be my pride talking, but, before, I wasn't able to protect you, couldn't do anything for you to return the kindness you gave me. So, this time, I want to be there to support you in the event that your friend doesnt take well the news of what happened. I will not allow him to disrespect you, not on my presence." He nearly forgot, in a little while, Kuron was going to tell him just how disappointed he was with him for what he did, and Lotor was going to be there to stand up for him, much like he had done before.

He smiled sadly, hands clasped together, no matter how much the events changed, the prince was always looking out for him, it made him feel warm and safe.

"Thank you, you don't know how much I appreciate it." Lotor just let out a small purr, the sound making Lance whirl around so fast that he nearly got whiplash, and as they exited, he began firing questions about it, overwhelmed by curiosity and surprise.

"I didn't know galra could purr?" His voice was higher than normal, his pitch nearly hysterical, he'd just found out a piece of information that was priceless, and for a while he completely forgot about his troubles, focusing on learning about this new fact.

"Ah, is that what it's called for you? Us galra refer to that sound and it's vibration as _Mhik_ , it's a sound often made when the feelings of affection or love are really strong. It doesn't have to be romantical love per se, a small child will mhik to his parents and the other way around, some galra where ashamed of it, thought it was a weakness to show that side of them. But for me, it was something I always cherished, a part of me that I got to share with my loved ones, Ezor and the others often mhik when we're all together." Just imagining that was making him want to coo, while at the same time he blushed and wanted to cover his face in embarrassment and glee, because it meant that the prince held him in high regard.

His thought process stopped abruptly, a single question filling his mind to the brim, not leaving space for any other function, _'Was Keith capable of purring?_ '. Just the idea of it seemed ludicrous, but now he couldn't get the image out of his head, and he tried really hard not to cry-laugh, because that would be hilarious and completely adorable.

Lance loved cats, sue him.

He actually ended up asking Lotor if half galra could purr too, and the other shared that his generals where all halflings, so yes, it was possible for them to purr, thought it depended on various facts, like, if they had learned how to do it, or if their body was compatible with that function. He was much happier after that bit of data was known to him.

They talked more as they took the short trek to the lounge, changing the topic of conversation various times, and Lance learnt even more about the prince than last time. He discovered that Lotor liked designing clothes, not that he had the time to do it, but it was a hobby he hoped to pick up once the universe was free. The prince also told him that he enjoyed flowers, and wanted one day to own a house with a big garden full of plants that he could take care of and watch as they bloomed, Lance coud see the beauty in that.

The last thing he learnt before entering the common room, was a heartbreaking one, the prince had told him, that deep inside, in the dark crevices of his heart, he still held on hope that his father could be saved, it was a pitiful thought, an impossible one, but the child inside of him wanted to try. And if that wasn't allowed, he wanted to, at least, be able to say goodbye, to see the real father he knew and loved, the one that had called him Lottie with so much affection when he was a child, that it seemed near impossible they were the same person.

And Lance understood, and vowed deep inside himself, to do everything in his power to make it possible.

They reached the common room and Lance walked in without hesitation, suprising Lotor, who looked at him with an emotion akin to pride shining in his blue eyes. Lance was able to do it, mostly, because he already knew what awaited him, so there was no point in stalling. As soon as he stepped inside, his friends looked at him, Pidge waved while Hunk came forth to greet him with a hug, worriedly asking where he had been that morning.

"I was just catching on some sleep, man, yesterday was an intense day." His friend nodded in understanding, squeezing him once more before looking him from head to toe.

"Did you have breakfast? I saved you some food goo." Lance saw out of the corner of his eye as Lotor made a face, mouth upturned in disgust, and he remembered that the prince seemed to dislike it, said it was _out of date and archaic._

"Yeah, my dude, I already ate, but thanks for worrying." He sent his best grin to the yellow paladin, who returned it before walking away to sit near the princess, and he decided to do the same, sitting on the couch in front, Lotor by his side.

After that, it was time to wait, in a few minutes, Kuron would come in, spew his bullshit story, and try to go and see Black, just thinking about it made him shudder, he didn't think he was going to be able to react normally in his presence, and it was filling his anxiety meter quite fast. He had a feeling that as soon as he laid eyes on him, flashbacks from _before_ were going to invade his mind, and he would remember those soulless red eyes as their owner slayed him without mercy, leaving him to bleed on the cold, hard floor while he sought to destroy everything that Lance held dear.

He wasn't looking forward to it, no.

A breath later, as if summoned by Lance's dark thoughts, their leader walked through the door, a cheery smile plastered on his face, body language depicting tranquility and showing he felt at ease, relaxed, totally the opposite to how he himself was feeling. As soon as Kuron appeared, he tensed immediately, body going rigid, all his senses went into overdrive and a wave of unease washed over him, coating his being with a layer of fear and restlessness.

"Good morning, team." He smiled at them, hands on his hips while he strided forward, towards the couch where Allura was sitting, intent on joining her and Hunk.

"Shiro, is so good to see you, are you feeling fine? Do you hurt anywhere?" She stood up, touching his forearm gently, a worried expression marring her beautiful features, a frown creasing her brows. All of that went out the window, though, when Kuron reassured her that he was fine, just tired and sore, but feeling better than he had in a long time, her mood doing a one eighty and a gorgeous smile lighting up her face. They were both sharing smiles and it gave Lance the chills, not wanting the guy anywhere near the princess.

Their older friend walked towards the couch, greeting and talking with everyone, until he eventually decided to settle down besides Hunk, his gaze roaming around the room before stopping, his eyes fixated on Lance and Lotor. He felt a full body shudder run through him, and couldn't stop himself from glaring, hands fidgeting with his jacket before latching onto Lotor's sleeve -much like he had done the first time- and found comfort in the other's presence.

After a few ticks in silence, in which Lance and Shiro gazed at each other without blinking, their leader sighed, running his robotic hand through his hair before speaking.

"Lance..., yesterday, after you left to sleep, the others and I remained for a while longer, they told me more or less about what happened with...Prince Lotor, am I right?" The galran nodded, his eyes traveling back to Lance for a tick before looking back, squeezing his hand in a reassuring manner.

"I have to say, what you did was very irresponsible -Lance's glare intensified, and Shiro narrowed his eyes in confusion- you didn't think of the team or the consequences that could arise from your actions, you put everyone and Voltron in danger. I expected better from you, I'm very disappointed." His words, that yesterday had left him near tears and feeling kind of ashamed, only infuriated him now, _how dare he_ , how dare he impersonate their kind and caring leader, how dare he act like he knows the first thing about him or anyone on the team.

He took a deep breath before letting it out, clutching the prince's hand for dear life, trying to calm himself, he was being way too obvious with his distaste, he needed to chill or the others would begin suspecting something, and that would do them no good, they weren't ready to fight Kuron yet. He looked around, watching his friend's faces, they were looking at him with pity, but also some level of apprehension and sadness, and he realized, that while he had talked with Hunk and apologized to _him_ , he never did the same with the others.

It was time he swallowed his anxiety and talked from the heart, if he ever wanted to mend things with them, he didn't have a choice, baby steps, right? He was willing to take the first step towards what he hoped was a better future.

"I understand, my actions may have been kind of reckless, even if I acted with a plan in mind, so I get that you feel that way, but I still stand with what I said, I don't regret what I did, the only thing I regret is how I decided to proceed, because I ended up hurting all of you, and that was never my intention." He got up, letting go of Lotor, closing his eyes while he took all the air he could into his lungs, and bowed, hands clasped before him and expression solemn.

"I'm sorry, I didnt fully understand how my actions would affect each one of you, it hurts to think that I don't know you well enough to understand the full effect my decisions had on all of you, but I really hope we can make up one day and be a team again." He straightened and sat back down, gauging the reactions of his teammates, Hunk and Pidge were both smiling, while the latter gave him their personal sign for _'Let's talk later'_ , to which he nodded. Allura looked surprised, her mouth slightly open before she pursued her lips, gaze falling to the floor, but he had managed to catch the hesitation in her eyes, the pain, he knew that the possibility of the team being whole again was there, and he would try his best to make it happen.

The only problem was Keith, he was behind Shiro, who looked doubtful but longing, nodding at Lance in acknowledgment ( _not that he wanted any from him_ ), but the red paladin wasn't even looking at him or anywhere remotely close by, his eyes were focused on the wall to the right, arms crossed and gripping his own forearms so tight, his jacked rumpled and wrinkled with the force of his grip. His mouth was permanently settled into a snarl, and his eyes depicted that he wasn't ready to talk, or accept anything Lance had said just now.

At least he wasn't glaring at him anymore, which was a plus.

"So, I think everyone wants to know what you've been up to, wanna share, Shiro?" Hunk, bless his soul, broke the uncomfortable silence, and he managed to breathe a little easier, shoulders relaxing as he tried to become one with the couch. To his right, Lotor gazed at him fondly, running one of his hands gently though Lance's hair, smiling wide and full of affection, and he managed to catch the slight vibration that came with purring.

He tried really hard not to break out into hysterical laughter, and barely managed to do so.

He came back to reality when he heard voices, and realized that Kuron was beginning his -probably fake- retelling of the events that lead him to that ice planet, and Lance wondered if he could find any loop holes in his story and make him nervous, make the others doubt his credibility. It was a long shot, but he had literally nothing to lose, so.

"It's difficult to explain, honestly, I remember being on Black and defeating Zarkon with his... _my_ bayard, after that it kind of, grew dark around me. I could see and hear nothing but a faint buzzing sound, like the rumble of engines. Then I opened my eyes and I was on that galran ship, I couldn't say exactly how many days had passed, or what they did to me, it's all fuzzy and hazy, but I remember one time they left me alone, and they forgot to lock the door, thought I was unconscious." That didn't sound right, the first time he heard his story, he was way too creeped out and nervous to actually listen to what he was saying, but now that he paid more attention, the facts seemed...loose, incomplete, like his tale was hastily put together in a rush. It made him feel like he had the upper hand, and he planned to take advantage of it.

"But, that's strange." Everyone whirled to look at him with varying degrees of curiosity." I mean, have you ever heard of any galra that left prisoners alone with the door open? If the door had been closed, that's one thing, but they are trained soldiers, I don' think they'd be so irresponsible as to leave a door open just because they think their prisoner is unconscious." Hunk nodded, agreeing with him, and Pidge seemed to come to the same conclusion he had, that maybe something was fishy, that something didn't make sense.

"Yeah, for once, I agree with Lance -Hey!- the galra are merciless and brutal, they wouldn't be so careless as to leave you -a paladin- completely unguarded and with an escape in sight, it's way too...obvious, almost as if it had been done on...." She stopped, eyes widening, gasping suddenly as she bit her thumb. "Almost as if it had been done on purpose, maybe, maybe they had a plan all along, maybe we're in danger....what happened after?" She looked right back at Shiro, whose eyes had gone blank for a tick before returning to normal.

"Well...I....I saw a chance and I took it, I managed to break free and run to the hangars, I think...I saw something as I hurried there, but it's out of focus and kind of blurry, I just...know it wasn't pleasant. I arrived at the hangars and managed to steal a vehicle, but the alarms blared and as soon as I launched, other battleships followed me, shooting at me and trying to take me down, I lost them somehow, but one of my engines got blown, so I put in the emergency commands and crashed on the ice planet you found me in." Again, _wrong_ , why would they leave him, a captive, equiped with his weapon? It's galra tech, they had to know how powerful and dangerous it really was, there was no way that they wouldn't have taken it out, at least for a while.

And running to the hangars and arriving safely? On a battleship? Unlikely, those ships were always heavily guarded, patrols of sentries accompanied by drones roaming every hallway. Adding to that, generals were always stationed inside, keeping a tight surveillance on every nook and cranny of the ship.

There was no way he accomplished that feat. Even if he knew the patterns of the patrols, the hangars were always filled with soldiers while cameras were everywhere, and in the state he said he was in, disoriented and hurt, he wouldn't have known were they were located. He voiced his thoughts, and this time, even Allura, who still wouldn't look at him, agreed that something didn't fit, that galra were never negligent, they planned their every move wisely, and from what some prisoners they had rescued said, they never did anything without a reason.

"Listen guys, I dont want to sound pessimistic or anything, but, looking at this from an objective point of view, Shiro's escape looks almost.... _staged_." Aaaand Pidge dropped the bomb, thank god for her genius brain, she had managed to reach the point that Lance wanted to make almost effortlessly, and no one would doubt her, it would have been different if he had been the one to propose the idea, everyone would have been skeptical. But Pidge had facts, had talked to several victims of Zarkon's imprisonment, she knew how ruthless the galra were to those people, she had the info to notice that something didn't add up, and so did Allura, no matter how much she tried to deny it.

"I mean, it's almost surreal that they would leave him armed and alone, like Lance said, it just doesn't make sense, that's not how galra operate." Hunk nodded and added his input to the situation, his voice carrying his anxiety, Allura, on the other hand was frowning, mouth upturned and expression somber, it was clear as day that she didn't want to believe it, but as a leader, she had the responsibility to look out for the team, she couldn't afford to let this information pass her by, couldn't risk it.

"It is true, the empire does not forgive, neither forget, it is extremely suspicious that they didn't guard you more carefully. What else do you remember? How did you manage to escape?" Allura's tone was grave, and she looked serious, expression tight and hands clasping her skirt, Lance felt bad for putting her though this, but there was no other way, they needed to realize the truth, and for that to happen, he could only give them little pushes in the right direction, and hope they learnt what he so desperately wanted to blurt out loud, but couldn't.

"Well, nothing else....I just....tried to survive as best as I could on that planet, I stayed on that cave where Pidge found me for days, I don't think I'd have survived if you didn't find me when you did." He smiled, but this time no one returned it, everyone was way too tense, the implications of what could be going on in the shadows, what the galra could have planned, unnerved everyone, and the giddy and light atmosphere was replaced by a strained and gloomy one. Eventually, though, Pidge shared the conclusion she had arrived to with the team, no matter how much they didn't want to hear it.

"That's another thing I don't get, they blowed up one of your engines and you crashed on that planet, completely alone and vulnerable. You did so on a ship of their own, which was probably linked to their main frame, so even if they had lost you, they still had the register of the last location the ship was in, as well as the data for the locations of the emergency landings." Shiro blinked, looking nervous all of a sudden, foot taping the floor rhythmically, fists clenched tight.

"Basically, they could have found you in a matter of ticks, and as the black paladin of Voltron, you were important enough to do so, so the question is...why didn't they?" Lance sucked in a shaky breath, eyes wide and smile threatening to bloom, this was going way better than he had expected, there were so may loop holes on Kuron's story that it was a wonder how he never noticed it before.

But the air around them was heavy with dread, and he felt as if he made any small movement, the fragile equilibrium of the situation would crash, and all hell would break loose, maybe he was being dramatic, but better safe than sorry.

"My theory is this, I think they wanted you to escape -Shiro frowned at Pidge, eyes hard- and come back here, there's the possibility that they put a tracking device on you to find our whereabouts, or that they followed us when we rescued you, maybe with some invisibility tech, and they'll try and intrude the castle to finish the job." He saw as Hunk shuddered at the idea, suddenly looking around, fear evident in his eyes, as if every little shadow would try and kill him. He felt really guilty for putting him on edge, but he preferred a scared and wary Hunk a thousand times better than a hurt one.

"Both of them are plausible scenarios, and we should be prepared accordingly, this is no laughing matter, the more I think about it, the more dubious the events seem. I will talk with Coran about installing cameras for surveillance and activating the internal defense protocol, if there is someone trying to boycott us, we will find them." Allura's tone was final, no room for doubt, they needed to be on guard and watch out for any fluctuations on the castle systems or any strange happenings, and report everything to Coran, who would analyze each claim and determine what to do about it.

"Yeah, I think it would be a good idea to look at your arm too, Shiro, they could have tinkered with it, it could be dangerous." He only saw it because he was staring intently at him, but, Kuron's eyes shone bright red for a second, too fast for the others to see and going back to their normal color just as fast. Afterwards, he laughed nervously and scratched the back of his head, looking back at Pidge.

"Ah...I wouldn't really feel...comfortable, doing that." The green paladin made an inquisitive noise low on her throat, gazing back at the man she considered like a second brother, and her brows pinched, nose furrowing up and mouth a thight line, she tilted her head and opened her mouth to reply, her pitch full of incredulity.

"Wha- why? I've done it before, remember? I tampered with it many times, like the one when we found the coordinates Ulaz had given you, or the one when I tried to make it shine white instead of purple, you know?" Silence was her only answer, and the more said silence stretched, the harder she frowned, crossing her arms and narrowing her eyes at her teammate.

Their staring contest was broken, though, abruptly and without warning, by Keith, who had been quiet while they exchanged ideas and theories, but now just exploded with the energy of a thousand burning suns, fiery and fierce, his harsh tone indicating that he was anything but happy.

"Why are you questioning him like this?! What are you trying to prove?!" Keith was shouting, his whole demeanor depicting uncontrollable anger, body shaking with rage. " Why does he have to explain himself to you? Maybe he just feels uncomfortable!! How can you talk like you don't trust him?! This is Shiro we're talking about, your teammate, the true leader of Voltron!!" He panted loudly, voice cracking at the end, not used to raise his voice to such levels. Lance looked at him intently, feeling pity and guilt swirling around in his stomach, but he had to stay strong, this.... _impersonator_ didn't deserve his love or his worry, Keith needed to know that the real Shiro was still missing.

"Keith, calm down, we do trust Shiro, we never once doubted him or what he shared with us." The red paladin glanced at Allura, mouth in a tight line. "What we _doubt_ , however, is the events that took place, you cannot tell me that it does not look suspicious to you. Galra do not make mistakes, they have a protocol and rules that they follow, we believe the information that Shiro has given us, but we need to be wary in the event that the worst comes to happen, you do understand that, don't you?" She turned around, her gaze hard like steel boring holes into the red paladin, who hunched his shoulders and looked down, as if ashamed for his outburst, then, softly, he nodded, gripping his forearms, exhaling quietly.

"Yes...I....I'm sorry Allura, I just...he's finally back and...everything seemed fine so I just....it's frustrating, the way we never seem to catch a break." Keith sighed, loudly this time, and for the first time since he arrived to the room, Lance noticed just how tired he looked, he had bags under his eyes, his mullet looked unkept and wild, and his hands were covered in bruises and little cuts, proof that he had been fighting the gladiator in an attempt to vent his frustrations and worries.

Now that he thought about it, hadn't Keith said that he suspected something was wrong _before_? That he ignored it because he didn't want to believe his brother wasn't back? That meant that, right now, he was in denial. He knew that what everyone was saying was logical and valid, but refused to acknowledge it, because the pain of doing so was too strong, too much to bear, and he wasn't ready.

It pained him to know that Keith was suffering and he couldn't even offer him his support.

"Guys, please, don't fight on my behalf." Kuron's voice brought everyone's attention to him, and he smiled shyly. "It's just as Keith says, I feel kind of uncomfortable right now with my arm, because even though I can't remember much, I have the feeling they did things that were...less than pleasurable." Wow, this guy could lie, if it wasn't because he'd lived through his madness, he might have believed every word he was saying. Unfortunately for him, though, Lance knew the truth, he had seen him as he was cornered and didn't know how to proceed, if it hadn't been for the red paladin intefering a minute ago, things might have gone a bit different.

The real reason Kuron didn't want anyone to tamper with his arm, was because they would see the changes done to the system, he probably had a transmissor installed, the one that created that little screen he had seen before, and it was undoubtedly galra.

And if Pidge had seen that, she would have begun speculating, eventually realizing that something was going on, probably blowing Kuron's cover, and of course, the clone couldn't afford to let that happen.

"Maybe in a few days, when I feel better, you can have a go at it." Pidge beamed, saluting before jumping from the couch, babbling about the things she wanted to do to his arm. "Meanwhile, though, there's someone else I'm missing, and I would really like to get to see him." He smiled at the princess, and she laughed softly, standing up from the couch.

"Yes, yes, I nearly forgot, you must be missing Black terribly, and I'm sure he misses you too. Paladins, you should go to the hangar together, it could be a good bonding excercise." She walked towards the door before Hunk's voice interrupted her.

"You're not coming? You're a paladin too now, remember?" She glanced back at him and grinned, but Lance could see the worry hiding in her eyes, she looked grateful that Hunk considered her a fellow paladin, no matter how short her stay as one had been.

"I know, thank you, Hunk. But I need to talk with Coran about the situation, if we are indeed being watched or pursued, we need to upgrade the castle's defense systems as well as the surveillance ones, this is something that cannot wait, unfortunately." She gazed at each member of Voltron before her eyes set on Lance, and he blinked, taken aback at the intensity he found there, but before he could react in any way, she was whirling around and exiting the room, leaving him to wonder what was that about.

"Well, you heard the princess, let's go to the hangars." Everyone agreed and began walking towards the door, from the corner of his eye, though, Lance saw someone matching his pace and noticed that Lotor was walking side by side with him, eyes narrowed at Shiro and arm twitching like he was holding back from holding Lance to his side in a protective manner.

"Lotor, you coming too?" He asked, trying to keep his tone light and cheerful, and the prince seemed to do a one eighty, eyes falling on Lance and mouth shaped in an _'Oh'_ shape.

"Yes, I'm sorry I haven't been answering to you, I hope I didn't offend you -Lance shook his head-, I planned to go to the kitchens to prepare some beverage that could wake me up, but since you brought me one earlier, I no longer need it." That made Lance stop dead in his tracks, something nagging him in the back of his mind, and he hummed in concentration as he tried to remember.

The first time, _before_ , Lotor had said he was going to the kitchen, and he hadn't followed them to the hangars, now he knew it was because he was sleepy and wanted some space coffee. But in present time, since Lance already gave him a cup in the elevator, he didn't need it, the flow of events changed and he was now joining them on their trek to the hangars. Same with Allura, with the talk that had been going on before, she needed to make sure the castle was working correctly and all the systems were up to date, so this time, she wasn't taking part on the 'bonding excercise', as she put it.

He had already begun changing things and he hadn't even noticed, good going, McClain.

He resisted the urge to faceplam, he needed to start paying more attention to both his surroundings, and the things happening in his general vicinity. Whilst he was lost in his musings, Lotor tapped his shoulder in a worried manner, and Lance shook his head before walking again, smiling up at the prince who returned it in earnest, his aura giving off an air of calm and tranquility.

He hadn't thought much about auras since that time he saw Kuron's do some weird shit back at the ice planet, but now that he noticed, if he focused a little, he could see the whisps of smoke emanating from the prince, as well as everyone walking ahead of him.

Lotor's aura was unmistakably blue, although it was a deep dark blue, nearly black, and it was swirling around playfully, reaching out to Lance in something similar to a caress, which was....sweet, though strange. Looking ahead, he could see Pidge's and Hunk's auras too, they were lime green and bright orange respectively, the green one flowed like a waterfall and was close to the ground, while the orange one streamed in a continuous ebb and flow, creating waves like the ocean.

And then there was Keith, his aura was.... _bright_ , too much so, looking at it directly was practically impossible, it was like looking at the sun, or a dying star, always on the verge of exploding, it looked like a tight red ball of energy ready to burst at any second, though Lance could see whisps of purple swirling inside, near the center.

It fit Keith very well, a reflection of his core and his whole being.

Suddenly filled with dread, he worried his lip and took a small glance at Kuron, and instantly regretted it, gazing at his aura was dizzying, it was a mess of blues and blacks mixing together, swirling like tiny hurricanes around him, agitated, anxious. He noticed that the blue one was trying to overwhelm the black one, but ultimately failed, getting smaller while the other kept growing, it made something itch on Lance's mind, as if that meant something.

He took note of that so he could analyze it later.

They arrived at their destination a tick later, to Lance's surprise. He had been so lost on his thoughts that he didn't notice how long they had walked. They approached Black, who rumbled slightly, happy to see Lance and his friends, but he became nervous and sad when he caught sight of Kuron, now knowing the truth for the feeling of dread that both Lance and the lions had been basked in.

"Black, my friend, I missed you buddy." Kuron approached the lion, slowly, carefully, and Lance could see the blue aura trying to keep the black one back to no avail. Their leader walked ahead, a smile on his face, and much like the first time, as soon as he was close enough, the particle barrier formed, keeping him out and forcing him to take a few steps back.

"Black...what's wrong? It's me, your paladin, we defeated Zarkon, we...we bonded, remember?" Everyone gasped as soon as the barrier was up, murmuring possible reasons as to why he would reject Shiro, even Lotor seemed to be taken aback, but the events only worked to make him narrow his eyes even more than before, resting his chin on his hand as he thought. Lance could practically see the gears turning inside his mind, the prince was no idiot, after all.

"Why do you think he's rejecting you? Do you think that he wants Keith to stay as his paladin? Even with you here?" Pidge was blunt, as always, and right to the point, Kuron turned around, mouth upturned and brows furrowed, he crossed his arms and looked at each paladin, his gaze falling on Lotor for a second before focusing on the ground.

"I...I don't know, I can't tell what he's thinking, I can only feel rejection though the bond, maybe he's just...confused." His voice wavered, tone doubtful and pitch a tad too high, and Lance realized that he was nervous, couldn't find and excuse as to why his lion would refuse him so suddenly, couldn't utter any explanation because...

Lance looked to his left, to where Lotor was still gazing at Shiro, and came to a sudden realization.

Shiro couldn't use the same explanation he did _before_ because Lotor was there. Lance had changed things, Allura wasn't here to support him and add to his credibility, and Lotor wasn't away in the kitchen making coffee, so he couldn't use the pretense that Black felt threatened by the prince's presence and therefore shut everyone down. Because the first time, Lance had been mad, and still unsettled by the feelings that Kuron evoked in him, so he hadn't proved any of his arguments wrong besides the obvious _'That's not it'_.

But now, with Lotor here, who strived to support him and be his ally, if Shiro had uttered any of the same bullshit, Lance was a hundred percent sure the prince would have analyzed and countered each argument, retelling how Black had brought back both Lance and himself, and never activated his barrier or depicted any sign of discomfort.

It was another step in the right direction, and Lance beamed, happy that things were going his way for once, the more the others doubted Shiro or the unusual things that happened around him, the better. This was a battle he'll have to fight in turns, piling up the suspicions and unexplainable things until the pile was so high they couldn't ignore it anymore, and then, he would drop the bomb, explain the truth, he just hoped things didn't go to hell when he did.

"Confused? Do you mean that maybe they're not used to changing paladins?" Hunk inquired from his place besides Pidge, raising an eyebrow and doing a circling motion with his hand, like he didn't quite get what the other was trying to say.

"I don't know, Hunk, I have no idea if they ever changed paladins before while one of them was still alive, but maybe the bonds got messed up and he's having a bit of difficulty telling them apart." Black growled in the back of his mind, denying that idea completely, but Lance didn't need his verification, he already knew everything he spewed were lies.

"I really don't think that's it." His teammates turned to look at him, Pidge tilting her head in question. "I mean, I have a bond with both Red and Blue and I can fly each of them with no problem, same with Keith and even Allura, I don' think the lions have trouble with changing paladins at all, you know." As always, his input was not appreciated by one red paladin, and he fumed from behind Shiro, shoulders tense and teeth clenched tight.

"So what?" Keith replied, tone harsh and defensive. "Maybe it's different with Black, because Shiro was not here, he disappeared somewhere, and we don't even know why or how, maybe something got messed up in the process, what do _you_ know?" He seethed at Lance, hands clenched into fists, and he decided to back off for now, he had managed get his point across, at least, that was good enough.

"That's true...we still don't know how it happened, how you just...poofed." The green paladin hoped from one foot to the other, taking notes on a small computer Coran had given her. "It may be interesting to look into that, maybe the galra did something to mess with your bond, and it could be dangerous for all of us. I could investigate that while I tamper with your arm, as soon as you are comfortable with letting me do it, of course." She smiled at him, big and warm, and Lance could see Shiro trying to do the same, but failing.

Since there was nothing they could do at the hangar anymore, they opted to leave , and as they were crossing the door, Lance abruptly remembered that this time, he hadn't walked up to the barrier, hadn't asked for Black to take it down, there hadn't been a reason to do so. So now, the subsequent conversation that they would have about bonds wouldn't happen, though it wasn't a great loss, he could start that conversation himself with his friends whenever he wanted, when all of this was over.

They chatted while taking the short trek to the lounge, saying they needed to search for Allura and explain the situation. They found her on the way there, and she was not happy at the new developement, her face showing her displeasure, but eventually she settled down, and determined that they would keep their new formation until their small problem was solved, so Keith would still act like the leader, while Shiro commanded from the ship.

A few ticks later, Keith, along the princess and Kuron, separated from them to go to the lounge, to talk about god knows what, and Lance felt apprehensive about leaving them alone with Kuron, scared that he might try something, but he tried to clam himself down, rationalizing that he wouldn't try to do anything to blow his cover so soon, when he had nothing to offer to his superiors, no information, no coordinates, no lions.

So they were safe, for now.

Thought that didn't make him feel better about the situation.

Lost in his musings as he was, he didn't notice the looks Pidge was giving him, but thankfully, his best friend was there, and elbowed him on the ribs, making him yelp in surprise. Hunk pointed to the green paladin, walking a few steps behind him, and he understood, he still had to make up with Pidge, so he gave a thumbs up to both his friend and the prince, and they nodded and left to the kitchens, leaving Lance alone with his smaller teammate.

The tension was tick in the air, and he tried to remember how this had gone before, but his brain was pretty scrambled, and he only got vague ideas and images of what happened, which didn't help much, he just had the feeling it hadn't been this hard last time.

Not being able to take the awkward atmosphere and silence anymore, he spoke first.

"Hey Pidge, listen I just wanna say I'm sorr-" He was interrupted before he could finish.

"No, no, you...you already apologized earlier, you don't have to do that." She fidgeted, her small frame looking smaller than it was when she hunched her shoulders. It worried him, he never wanted to make her uncomfortable or upset, so if she wasn't ready, they could leave the talk for another time.

"I just...I wanted to say that I'm sorry too, for being so rash and not listening to you, I know you did what you thought was right, and I know you probably thought a lot about it before actually taking action." She worried her lip, hands clenching her sleeves while she rocked back and forth on her feet. "I was just scared, you know? Because so many things could have gone wrong, and if I lost even more family...I don't know what I would have done." Her voice was tight with emotion, the words spoken quietly, cracking at the end.

He looked down, guilt getting a hold of him, and the words got stuck in his throat, mouth suddenly dry, he would never forgive himself for how he hurt Pidge, making her anxious and terrified, totally forgetting what was at stake for her, what she was fighting for.

He gasped softly when a tiny, delicate hand held his own gently, squeezing it once before remaining there, it's warmth getting him out of his well of self-hatred, and he gazed up, looking into those eyes that held so much wisdom in them, and waited.

"Look, it's okay, I was mad at first -kinda still am, though just a little- but I get why you did it now, Lotor shared a lot of data with us, things that will help us in this war, that will help save a lot of people, you may have gone wrong about it, but it was the correct choice, in the end." She looked up and smiled, a real smile, one that showed her teeth and made her shine, lighting up her whole face.

"So, it's fine, you can stop blaming yourself, I forgive you, I know you did it because you have a good heart, and couldn't stand to let an innocent suffer, I think that might have been one of the reasons Blue chose you, you know?" He let out a breathy laugh, trying not to cry, his eyes welled up though, but he managed to hold the tears back. He glanced at his friend, who looked earnest and hopeful, waiting for his answer, and when he squeezed her hand back, the beaming smile he received in return was worth everything.

He felt a wire being connected again, sudden and quick, leaving him with the sensation that he'd been zapped, an electrical current running through his body and making him seize for a second, his eyes wide and mouth gaping open. Then he heard Green purr from far away, happiness and content pouring from the bond in waves and flowing into Lance, and he knew, then, his bond with Pidge had been restored, they were united again.

His friend let go of his hand and walked away, saying she needed to do something to her laptop, and he waved at her, feeling lighter and in a much better mood than he had been before, he decided a visit to the kitchen was in order, and skipped the whole way there, a smile on his lips.

As soon as he neared the Kitchen's door, he knew his best friend would be cooking alongside Lotor, and decided to follow up the events that had occurred last time -and it wasn't just because he wanted to taste chicken again-, so he got in, talked with the prince, helped Hunk cook, and overall had fun until the others slowly began arriving. Just like before, Pidge was the first to show up, plopping down next to Lance and sharing Garrison stories, embarrassing him as the prince stared in disbelief and amusement at some of the things he'd done when he was still a student.

A few minutes later, Allura and Shiro arrived, followed by Keith and Coran. And this is where things took a different turn, since Coran wasn't here the first time and Keith had arrived late because he'd been training and lost track of time. While the food was being finished, Lance fidgeted, concerned about how things would proceed from here on out, anxious and excited in equal parts to see what would happen, what would _change_.

He got his answer when Allura spoke, expression tight and tone serious, letting them know that whatever she was going to share was important and they needed to pay attention.

"Paladins, we need to talk about the matter we discussed this morning." Everyone nodded, suddenly alert and directing all their attention to the princess. "We considered the idea that Shiro's escape could have been staged, and there was the possibility of the castle being under surveillance, or planning to be infiltrated in the near future." Lance nodded his head, as did the others, he risked a side glance at Kuron, and saw that he wore a disgruntled expression, mouth set on a grimace as he seemed to glare at the table. Lance tried really hard not to smirk, Allura had probably planned a ton of security measures that wouldn't let him move freely, and he was sure that it annoyed him to no end, it made him giddy.

"To prevent that from happening, Coran and I have taken some countermeasures, they are not perfect, but no one will be able to bypass our security without us noticing. Coran, if you would." She turned and looked at her advisor, who saluted to her and procured a holo device from nowhere, the small thing projecting pictures and blueprints that he couldn't understand. Though he saw how Pidge's eyes became starry, shining with excitement at the prospect of learning how to create or operate new technology.

"Certainly, princess. We have taken several measures to ensure the castle is safe, for one, we installed cameras all over the ship, specially in places that we thought could be vulnerable, such as the hubs. We've also updated the castle's database to make it that, if someone tried to alter the systems in anyway, it would be detected, contained, and a message would be sent to Allura as a warning." He thought he saw Kuron flinch, but couldn't turn to look at him right away to confirm it, either way the guy was pretty much fucked, if he tried to mess with the hub, the cameras would catch him red-handed, and if he tampered with the cameras, the castle would detect the error and inform Allura, and then they would know they had an intruder, and that wouldn't bode well with Kuron, he was unable to act as of now.

He resisted the urge to sneer.

"Adding to that, we worked on the particle barrier so it would weaken, but stay up throughout the day, repelling any attempt at infiltration. Furthermore, we strengthened the ship's sensors so we'd be able to feel if someone was tailing us, and installed a jamming appliance that will make it impossible to send external signals out, making transmissions to outside receptors not being able to send. Only the ones made through the castle or the lions will be able to broadcast, any other signal will be located and investigated." He wanted to weep in joy, he was glad now that Allura was so thorough with her work, because without even being aware of it, she had just completely prevented Kuron from doing anything, he was trapped, any move he did from now on would be monitored and any suspicious acts within the castle systems would be his downfall.

His day was going better than expected.

"That is all, paladins, let's just hope our fears are unfounded and nothing happens." Coran smiled and stored the holo projector inside his pocket, walking around the table to sit besides Lance, who beamed at him while the older man chuckled, ruffling his hair.

A few minutes later, Hunk brought his masterpiece, and he prepared for the heavenly taste of chicken, only, when he took a spoonful into his mouth, it wasn't chicken that he tasted, no, it's flavour was closer to...tomato sauce, like the one he used to put on his overcooked pasta when he was back at the Garrison and couldn't be bothered to try and cook right, which had made Hunk weep in grief.

He wondered why the taste had changed, and decided to ask Lotor what they tried to make, curiosity getting the best of him.

"Well, I shared with Hunk a recipe my mother used to make when I was a child, I chose that one inspired by the beverage you kindly gave me this morning. It was supposed to be quite easy to follow, and should have tasted like, mashed potatoes and bacon, if your list of earth ingredients is right. But I have a feeling we messed something up, if your expression is anything to go by." Lotor chuckled when Lance shook his head at rapid speeds, confirming that yes, it didn't taste like that at all, but it was good nonetheless, reminded him of home. Besides they had put great effort into it, and that's what counts.

His next thought consisted on wondering how such a small thing, like giving Lotor a cup of coffee early in the day, had managed to change so many things, it was like the snowball effect, or wast it domino? Anyway the thing was that just a small action had numerous reactions in consequence, a fact that had him reeling and wondering just what else would change.

Afterwards they ate in silence, savoring each bite as if it was a treasure, Pidge actually crying because her little italian soul had craved something that even remotely resembled the sauces they used at home, and most of them involved tomato, so this was as close as she was gonna get. He patted her on the back, trying to comfort her, and Lotor, watching their reactions with understanding, promised to properly teach Hunk how to use alien food so he could actually make nutritious meals and not that disgusting gelatin they kept eating.

From there on out, it devolved into a discussion between Allura and Lotor about food goo, the princess trying to defend it, saying it had all the nutrients and vitamins they could need, and the prince countering her arguments, upholding that flavor was more important and there were some minerals and other things that altean gelatin couldn't procure.

Their arguments lasted for thirty minutes, and when they finally finished, without reaching an agreement, it was finally time to go sleep. Lance had a moment of panic, feeling like Kuron was going to try to act and mess with the ship again, only to remember that if he did, his cover would be blown, and no matter how much all of them loved Shiro, he wouldn't be able to get out of that one so easily, not with people like Pidge around.

That night, he crawled under the covers with a blissful smile and exhaled softly, relaxed for once, knowing that he was slowly driving their fake leader into a corner, not leaving him free reign to try and destroy Voltron, to destroy his friends. Although he was proud of the way things were moving along, he couldn't help but feel apprehensive, because as soon as Kuron was revealed, he knew Keith's heart would break, same with Allura's, they were going to be devastated when they realized their precious person was not really back.

He felt like crying at the prospect.

But now it wasn't time for that, he needed to find a way to reveal the truth to the others without sounding like a psycho, he thought and thought, brooded over how to breach the subject gently, but ultimately came out empty. He decided to sleep instead, and try again tomorrow, all this stress wasn't good for his skin or his stomach, the latter clenching suddenly as to remind him of the nausea he had just caused on himself.

He tried to think about anything else to get his mind off that particular problem, and then he got excited because tomorrow, Narti and the others would be back, which meant reinforcements that could help against Kuron, and a cat he could spoil as much as he wanted.

He couldn't wait.

He had a feeling things were going to be okay.

He should have learnt to keep his mouth shut by now.

\--

When he woke up the next day, it was to complete silence, everything was still, the calm atmosphere nearly lulling him back to sleep, he curled on his side, nuzzling his pillow, and waited, still not confident that he wouldn't suddenly begin floating around, the gravity turned off just like _before_. When time passed and nothing happened, he smiled, sleepy and content, happy to just go back to the land of dreams, but then his brain decided to remind him that Lotor's generals were scheduled to arrive today, and he should be ready if he wanted to meet them, he was excited to have Kova by his side again.

The small cat had taken a liking to Lance _before_ , never leaving his side, meowing and nuzzling her head in any part of him she could reach, asking for attention. It had been cute, and he was able to ignore how her meows were more akin to growls, and how her purrs sounded like engines at full speed. Her warmth as they slept together had been comforting, her presence somehow soothing his anxiety and keeping him level headed, he was glad that Narti didn't seem to mind her behavior, he hoped it would be the same this time around.

He sat up and stretched, happy that he managed to have a good nights rest, then choose to get up and make himself some breakfast, he'd actually asked Lotor to teach him how to cook something easy that he could make in the mornings, since he was mostly living by himself now, even though it was temporary,...he hoped.

He crawled off the bed and jumped to his feet, putting on his slippers and walking to the small kitchenette, then he proceeded to try and fix himself some food, praying to god he wouldn't burn anything in the process. He followed the instructions on the holopad to his right, and ten minutes later he had on his plate something that resembled a toast and some juice to go with it, though when he tasted it, the toast actually tasted like fried potatoes and he nearly had an aneurysm, then he took a sip of the juice and he had a flashback to last summer, when he was slurping strawberry smoothies by the beach with his niece, he almost cried for a tick there.

It was quite disconcerting, really, to eat something and have it taste completely different from what you're used to, it was like, seeing the color red but learning that it's called blue, it messes with your brain. But he couldn't care less, he was drinking a frigging _smoothie_ while eating some _fries_ , he was overjoyed and not even Zarkon himself could take his happiness away right now.

He was halfway with his meal, experimenting a moment of pure bliss, when the castle comms came online, Allura's voice reverberating through every room, announcing something.

"Paladins, there will be some visitors arriving at the castle shortly, Lotor's companions, if we're not mistaken, please come to the docks as soon as you're able so we can welcome them properly. We will also have a short debriefing to review the castle's situation, please do not be late." Her voice cut off, and Lance eagerly finished his meal -he'll have to tell Hunk about it later- running to dress himself quickly so he could go down, he was exuberant, having the girls with him in the castle was bound to make him feel more secure, protected, and not only him, but his teammates as well.

The girls were really competent and well trained, he was sure that with their help he would finally be able to surpass this obstacle and move on, he had a few days to make them suspicious and wary, and being half-galra, he was sure their instincts would go haywire when in close proximity to Kuron.

Nodding to himself he ran from his room, bayard in hand -he'd taken to carry it everywhere, his _situation_ calling for fights at the most inconvenient moments- and opened the hatch that lead to the control room, holding onto the handle and humming softly as he took the trip down. Once there, he trekked through the hallways, and found Lotor and Hunk on the way there, both of them waving at him with smiles on their faces.

"Good morning bud!" His best friend squeezed him for a tick before letting go, stepping to the side so as to walk by Lance.

"Indeed, good day Lance, have you slept well?" The prince looked down at him, a dopey smile on his face, and he wondered if Lotor was excited with anticipation because his sisters were finally coming to meet him.

"Same to you guys, and yeah, I slept like a log, not even Zarkon could have woken me up." They chuckled at that, Hunk murmuring how true that was, recounting all those times back at the Garrison that he'd tried to wake Lance for the morning roll call, only to have to resort to drastic measures, such as threatening to throw away all his beauty products, _that_ woke him up in less than a second.

"It must be nice, I, myself am a light sleeper, even the softest of noises manage to rouse me from sleep, and the fact that I sleep with four people all curled around me doesn't help my case." Lance giggled, trying to picture that. " My sisters are all very fidgety, they squirm and snuggle, toss and turn all throughout the night, sometimes even snoring or purring, it makes it impossible for me to have a decent rest." The prince sighed, a fond look in his eyes.

"Well, that sounds difficult for you." Hunk patted the prince's back in pity.

"Yes, but it is fine for me, I wouldn't change it for anything, not Ezor's snuggles when she has a nightmare, or Narti's squirms as she dreams of swimming, nor Zethrid's tossing and turning as she fights an invisible enemy, grinning when she thinks she's won, or Acxa's quiet purrs as she cuddles closer, trying to share some warmth." Lance smiled tenderly, expression mirroring the prince's, and he exhaled, thinking with longing that it would be nice to join them one day, he was sure he could sleep for a hundred years in a cuddle pile, his tactile self was itching for some physical contact, human or otherwise.

"I can't wait to meet them, they sound really nice!" He beamed at Lotor, his words sincere.

"Thank you, I'm sure they will love you, Lance." He flushed slightly, embarrassed, he hadn't gotten a chance to really befriend them before, he'd talked with Ezor, and knew she thought highly of him, and that Narti somewhat liked him, but he wasn't able to really get to know them, too caught up in the mess that occurred. He wanted to change that, this time around.

Thinking about the girls brough forth some questions, though, last time, they had boarded the castle without permission, Ezor had told him that because the alarms were on and the gravity was wacky, they had the impression that something was amiss. Worried about Lotor and what could've happened to him, they didn't think of the consequences and ran straight up to the elevator, finding Lance instead.

It was different now, with nothing to alarm them and lead them to act on impulse, they were going to dock their ship, meet everyone, and have an actual decent first meeting. Everything was changing, and he didn't know if it made him more anxious, or relieved. He decided to leave behind the mess that were his thoughts right now and looked back at Lotor.

He nodded at the prince and the three of them strolled calmly though the hallways until they finally reached the docks. Once the door opened, he could see that Kolivan was standing on the center of the room alongside Allura, Coran and Keith, while Pidge sat leaning on the wall, fiddling with something that Lance thought he recognized, and a few ticks later he remembered why, it was that wretched cube, the one he had held on the first day, the day everything had gone to shit.

Just looking at it made him grimace, face set in perpetual disgust.

He jolted when someone lightly touched his shoulder, and turned to look questioningly at Lotor, who murmured that Allura was getting impatient and they should go ahead and join his teammates. He strided forward quickly, looking around and noticing that Kuron was not there -which filled him with dread, god knows what he could be doing- , he stopped and stood before the princess together with his friends, Pidge saluting him with the cursed cube in hand as he slowly inched away before she could rope him into trying it again.

"Paladins, do you have anything unusual to report? Any problems?" All the responses were negative, everything had been really quiet at the castle.

"I see, Coran and I -said man saluted, grinning- inspected the recordings, no camera failed or caught anything peculiar, furthermore, no alarm was set off and no suspicious signal was sent from inside the castle, so for now, I think we're safe, though the security measures will remain a while longer." Everyone nodded, but it was obvious the discomfort and distress in their gaze was not going to disappear, and that was fine by Lance, it was safer that way.

After Allura concluded her review of the situation, the others scattered around the room to entertain themselves until the girls arrived, Pidge and Hunk were still tinkering with the damn cube, trying to get Kolivan to hold it, eager to see what the galran felt. He just stared at them with an unimpressed look on his face before walking to the other side of the room and just standing there, leaving his friends pouting.

Coran, Lotor and Allura were closer to the bay doors, talking amongst themselves, the prince had a frustrated air around him, gesturing with his hands, trying to explain something to the princess, who just gave him a dirty look, waving her hands in return, her motions more mechanical, seemingly trying to prove him wrong about something. Coran just glanced at them and sighed, twirling his mustache like a father that's tired of his children's squabbles, he shifted his eyes downward, and decided to direct his attention to the mice instead, who were walking around and playing by their feet, chirping happily.

And then there was Keith, he was glaring at nothing, leaning back on the wall with his arms crossed, whole body tense and ready to murder anyone that dared approach him. He raised his head and peered around the room, scanning every single corner and door, clearly waiting for someone to come in. He would bet his arm that it was Shiro he was waiting for, and it made bile rise up in his throat, stomach churning, knowing that soon, he would have to break Keith's heart, tell him that he didn't know where the real Shiro was, didn't even know if he was still alive.

But he refused to believe Shiro would lose, he was a fighter, a survivor, he was strong, agile, smart, he wanted to have faith in his friend, his idol, his leader, he wanted to have confidence that he would hold on, beat the odds, return to them. In his mind it was impossible that the true black paladin was dead, and Black joined him in that thought. Even though he couldn't feel his paladin all that well, the lion was convinced he was out there somewhere, and sent Lance a picture of Shiro's smile, the sound of his laugh reverberating inside his brain, nearly making him tear up, and Black apologized, purring in guilt, nudging him softly before he told him that it was okay, he was fine, it would work as a reminder.

Of what he was fighting for, who he was trying to protect.

Lost in his musings, he didn't notice when the bay doors opened, the constant beeping announcing that the door was opening, the shrill sound finally being what startled him into paying attention. Through the giant doors came a ship, painted in Lotor's colors, it was a good size, easy to maneuver and assembled to be fast, the design was also really interesting and it made the mechanic part of Lance cheer in delight at the prospect of being able to fly it.

As soon as the ship -Lotor called it Birlik- was docked, it's doors opened, and four blurs running at the speed of light passed him by, tousling his hair and leaving him gaping, before throwing themselves at Lotor, well, two of them did, the other two remained close by, looking at the scene before them fondly.

Ezor and Acxa were hugging the heck out of the prince, Ezor being the most enthusiastic of the two, while Acxa nuzzled him softly, Kova curling on Lotor's lap and purring like an engine, just like he remembered. Narti and Zethrid stood by their side, smiling and sighing in evident relief at finally being together, no longer having to worry about their brother's well being, it made Lance kind of jealous, suddenly missing his brothers and sisters and how they doted on him for being the youngest.

Gazing at them intently as he was, he took notice when Ezor looked up, cheerful smile on her lips, and her gaze fell on Lance, instantly brightening her demeanor even more, and she rapidly jumped to her feet, disappearing in the blink of an eye before reappearing in front of Lance. He barely had time to 'eep' when he found himself crushed in a tight embrace, warmth surrounding him, the hands around him brushing his hair gently, and he nearly died when Ezor purred softly, it was really quiet, and he only managed to hear it because he was really close to her, but it brought back something Lotor had said a while ago.

_'Us galra refer to that sound and it's vibration as Mhik, it's a sound often made when the feelings of affection or love are really strong.'_

He felt overwhelmed suddenly, confused as to why Ezor, who only just met him, would react in such a way. She slowly disentangled herself from him, but remained close, smiling broadly and clutching his hand in hers, eyes set on him and never wavering.

"You must be Lance, yes?" She stroked his fingers slowly, her touch tender.

"Y-yeah, that's me, may I have the honor of knowing _your_ name?" Ezor closed her eyes and dissolved into laughter, her tall frame shaking slightly. She stopped after a few ticks and looked back at Lance, who gulped, suddenly nervous, feeling like he was being analyzed inside out.

"My name is Ezor, I'm one of Lotor's generals. I've heard a lot about you from my brother, Lance, such as that you were his saviour when he decided to act reckless and alone even though he had _us_ to help him if he'd asked." She raised her voice on purpose and turned to give Lotor a pointed look, to which he shrugged, not willing to argue so soon, Ezor's eyes narrowed and she slumped, shaking her head with a sigh.

"Ugh, he's impossible." She turned towards Lance once again." Back to the matter at hand, though, he told us what you did for him, and I want to thank you on behalf of my sisters and I, you took care of our brother, made it so we could be whole again, you reunited our family, and for that, I'm forever thankful." She squeezed his hand and he numbly squeezed back, his face set in stone, too shocked to actually respond in any way.

"It's almost surreal, looking at him now. He never used to smile, too caught up on missions, deciphering intel, planning, and a myriad of other things, he was too immersed on his job, always fighting alone, not taking a break to rest or relax. But look at him now." She gazed back at Lotor and her sisters, Narti was doing some hand signs to the prince while Kova perched on her head, yawning before curling in on herself and dozing off. He didn't know what Narti said, but a tick later, her brother was chuckling softly, eyes shining with mirth, and he saw as the girl's faces lit up, affection on their face, happy to see the always tense and overworked prince finally unwind.

"It's been months since the last time we saw him laugh sincerely, or at all, and I know we have you to thank for that -his eyes widened, surprised- he told us how much he enjoyed the conversations you had, and how, thanks to you, he felt like he wasn't so alone anymore, he felt like he could open up to you, because you wouldn't judge him by his heritage." He nodded, he was glad that Lotor considered him worth of his trust, but he hadn't done anything special, he told Ezor this, and flinched when she pinched his hand.

"Don't be silly, you saved him, if he'd continued with the path he was following, he would have ended up self-destructing, you became his ally, his friend, you rescued him from his pit of loneliness, and showed him that he could rely on others to finish this war." She leaned in close, touching foreheads with Lance. "Thank you, Lance, for giving us our sweet brother back." She teared up a little, and tilted her head to the left, pecking him on the cheek before leaning back and letting go of his hand, she then waved at him and ran back to her family, glomping Lotor before laughing loudly, happiness radiating from her very core.

Lance felt a big grin bloom on his own face, the scene before him too sweet and tender not to smile, he then glanced down at his hand, feeling the weight of the present Ezor had left there, and slowly unclenched his fingers, gasping when he caught what she'd given him. It was an earring that seemed to be made of some sort of gem, it shined iridescent when the light passed through it, making it seem like a kaleidoscope. It was the shape of a diamond and hung a little, swaying back and forth from a small chain.

It was beautiful, and he nearly choked when he spotted the girls wearing the same ones, Lotor included, which meant that this gift entailed more than he could have ever imagined, it was the physical embodiment of the word ' _family_ ' for them, it meant that Ezor was allowing him, giving him the chance to join their family if he wanted to.

It made him feel all fuzzy and warm inside.

The moment was broken, however, when a yelp came from the left side of the room, everyone turning to see what had disturbed the easygoing atmosphere they had going on.

It was _aliens_.

Two, to be exact, both of them looked like they had mustaches, their skin had a bluish tint and their clothes looked way too warm for the weather inside the castle, he could see them sweating from where he was standing. The shorter one began taking off his coat, the tall one following soon after, thought that was a bad move, because under the heavy clothes, they had some kind of weapons -ones he couldn't recognize, but weapons nonetheless- and as soon as they were in sight, Keith was before them, holding his bayard to their throats with a snarl on his face, every part of him ready to pounce with his eyes full of fury.

"Ooops." Lance heard Ezor's voice and spinned around, tilting his head at her in a silent question. She blushed and ducked her head, wringing her hands and chuckling nervously."I totally forgot about them, don't kill them please, they are refugees, more or less." Keith growled at her, and her galran instincts seemed to activate because she did the same, teeth showing and eyes narrowing, challenging him to do that again. He backed away, though still grumbling and glaring daggers at her, the two aliens behind him groaning and sighing in relief.

"May I ask who your...guests are?" Allura, ever the diplomatic, tried to smooth things out, her tone neutral, though her eye was twitching, not used to be taken by surprise, which Lance knew it was something she despised, she liked to be prepared for every situation.

"These are Vakala and Remdax -they bowed slightly- we found them when we were coming towards the castle, their ship had spent all it's fuel and they were stranded, so we gave them a ride." Both aliens introduced themselves, the shorter one being Vakala while the tall one was Remdax, they paid their respects to Allura and then proceeded to recount what occurred to them.

"You see, princess, we were on our planet, just, living there not bothering anyone, when the galra came. They actually didn't do anything, honestly, but we were restless after their departure and decided to steal one of their pods and fly away, we didn't want to take any chances, you know?" Vakala looked quite spooked and the princess nodded, listening intently, urging him to continue.

"We left and fled around, searching for a good place to settle for the time being, but halfway to our destination, our fuel ran out, no idea why, and we were left stranded." Remdax nodded while Vakala explained the situation, arms crossed across his chest.

"We sent a distress signal around and waited, but then we caught Voltron's signature frequency, and sent it directly to you instead of just emitting waves and hoping someone received them, but then it kept saying that the message could not be sent, for some reason, and we were left stranded for hours, awaiting our fate." Allura's eyes widened a fraction, and she rubbed her forehead softly, a groan leaving her lips.

"I'm terribly sorry, there's actually a reason for that, the castle of lions receives and archives all of the distress signals it picks up, and it has a system that classifies them depending on the urgency and peril of the request. The ones that take less priority are sent to the Blade's or any of our allies' devices, such as gathering supplies, rescuing stranded people, guarding certain locations and the like." Vakala nodded his head, mouth open in wonder. " The most dangerous ones are sent to me, and I read though all of them and decide how to act from there, because we, as Voltron, don't have enough manpower to help every single person that requests it, no matter how much we desire to do so." Remdax stroked his chin, a thoughtful expression on his face, brow furrowing, mouth opening to ask a question, though Allura got ahead of him and continued her explanation.

"This time, though, your request was not received because it was sent from a galran ship - Lance 'oooh-ed' in sudden realization-, the castle has some security measures up as of now because we feared that we were being tailed, and thus decided to up our defenses. For that, we made it impossible for any galran signal to exit or enter the ship, protecting us from possible spies." Both aliens seemed to understand and when Allura made to apologize again, they waved their hands around, bewildered and flushed, telling her it was not necessary.

After that, Lance's focus shifted, had the castle caught the signal the first time? It was news to him, but as the princess said, the castle just redirected the distress calls depending on the gravity of the situation the victims were in, so if these guys were just stranded, Kolivan or some other ally would probably have gotten the message, and that's why no one knew anything about it _before_ , it made sense, so he didn't add it to the list of things that changed.

"We understand, don't worry, besides, these nice galran girls made us a favour and rescued us, saying they were part of the Voltron Alliance." Allura glared a bit, knowing that Lotor's party was not an official part of the VA yet, and her frown pinched in dismay at the blatant use of a title that had such significance. Zethrid perked up and guffawed, amused at the looks the princess was giving them, but completely at ease knowing that there was no hostility in it.

"Yeah, that's right, we noticed the signal going around, just trying to reach anything in it's range, and then we found them, panicking and crying, thinking they were going to die, so we took pity on them and brought them back on our ship." Zetrhid smirked at the smaller aliens, and they ducked their heads, whistling and trying to disappear into the void. Lance understood the feeling, the tall galran was...imposing, it looked like she could snap Lance in half with her bare hands, which, _ouch_ , but still, it was clear they all followed a harsh training regiment and had their abilities to show for it.

"And we're really grateful for it." Both aliens replied, still keeping their distance from them, it was pretty obvious they weren't used to being around people, their demeanor shy and body language closed off. The princess talked with them some more, asking some questions about why the galra were on their planet, what they were after, etc, but ultimately, they couldn't tell her much, they had been too scared to even try to approach them.

After everything was settled, Allura told them they would get sent to one of their allied planets, if they agreed, and Kolivan walked in to join them and offered some of his men to do the transport. They began chatting amongst themselves after that, Lotor and his sisters adding whatever data they knew about the situation of the area the Blade was going to travel through.

Lance stood little ways to the right, looking over his teammates, Pidge and Hunk had been excited to meet the girls, and had talked to them for a while, but now they were back to playing with their cube really close to where he was standing, not paying attention to anything or anyone. Keith, for the most part, leaned against the wall again still moody and brooding, glaring from time to time at Lotor's ensemble, clearly not happy with their presence around the castle.

It was awful, really, to watch Keith being so distant, so closed off, just like when they first met, he had regressed to the state of being strangers with his team, and Lance knew it was all his fault, it made him chew on his lip and his stomach clenched, anxiety eating at him.

The red paladin only smiled nowadays when Shiro was close by, and even those were far and few between, now his eyes shone with pain every time his gaze landed on his brother, and his expression grew more and more grim as the days passed by. It was painful to watch.

Just as he was thinking of going there and just....try to do something, the door behind him opened, and all eyes on the room were suddenly on Kuron, who looked up and smiled at them, waving and tilting his head at the newcomers. Lance saw his eyes narrow, close as he was, and a sudden chill ran though him, a tiny gasp leaving his lips at the feeling, a faraway rumble told him that the lions felt it too, something was gonna happen, and he was pretty damn sure he wasn't going to like it.

He knew this was true when, not a tick later, Vakala gasped, realization dawning on his face as he pointed at Shiro, mouth agape and eyes so wide, Lance was afraid they would pop.

"It's _you_!!" Shiro glanced at Vakala, humming in confusion, brow creased.

"I'm sorry I don't think we've met?" Kuron tilted his head again, a small grin trying to convey the truth of his words, Lance felt the world shaking at his feet, his breath quickening, something was amiss, something was coming.

"No, no, we definitely did, though you probably didn't see us." Remdax looked at Allura, a displeased frown marring his features. " I didn't know he was a spy for Voltron, if you'd just told us sooner, he could have rescued us and all this trouble could have been avoided." Allura just shook her head, trying to explain that she had no idea what they meant.

"He was _there_ , on the ice planet we lived in!! Two galran pods flew down to our planet, some soldiers and what looked to be a scientist got off them alongside this guy!" Lance trembled, mind trying to piece together what the alien was trying to say, could it be..." They talked for a while, and all this guy did was nod, reply with ' _Affirmative_ ' and just, stood there doing nothing!" Pidge worriedly looked up, her mouth upturned, and she had that look on her face that meant she was thinking of possible scenarios and reasons as to why that happened.

"I think you have the wrong person." Shiro's tone was so cold that Lance felt himself tensing, hands clenched so tight it hurt.

"No, no, I remember perfectly well, the white hair, the scar, everything's the same." Remdax nodded, giving some more details of their home that made it very clear they had been living on the planet they found the black paladin in.

" We thought you were in trouble or something, but the scientist guy just, talked with you, and you were acting like nothing was wrong so we didn't intervene, he was saying something about a project.....something about...Kuron?" Lance stilled, breath stopping, his heart felt like it was going to burst and he sweated, clutching at his chest in desperation.

"Then the galra left on one of the pods and you sat down on a nearby cave and stopped moving, we were so creeped out we took the other pod and left. Though we found strange that those soldiers didnt' hurt you or anything, it looked like they made the trip just to leave you there, for whatever reason." Lance heard the whirring before anyone else, saw the purple light coming from behind him and felt, like a punch to the gut, the presence that still caused him nightmares at night. He barely had time to think when he was suddenly yelling at the top of his lungs.

"Run away!!" And then, with a warning from Green resounding inside his mind, he was throwing himself at Pidge, enveloping her in his arms, a startled yelp coming from her before she began to struggle, only to stop dead in her tracks as Lance screamed in agony, loud and clear for everyone to listen to, the sound echoing around the chamber for a while before it disappeared.

For a tick, not a sound was heard, nobody moved, nobody breathed, his eyes were wide, unfocused, tears forming on the corners as he trembled, still clutching his teammate in desperation, mouth open in a silent cry.

He felt himself fall forward, his back burning, feeling like it was melting, the smell of charred flesh reaching his nostrils and making him gag, the wetness traveling slowly but surely down his spine and onto his jeans, the sensation revolting. A second later his world seemed to tilt rapidly, his legs unable to support him any longer from the shock and the pain he was experiencing, making him fall face first onto the cold, hard floor.

After he tumbled to the floor with a loud thud, Pidge's high pitched scream reached his blurry mind, and he hoped to any god out there that she hadn't been hurt, that Kuron hadn't managed to get her, he wanted to look for her, but his vision was fuzzy and he couldn't make out anything, he closed his eyes in hopes of regaining some semblance of balance.

"Lance! Oh god!" He felt tiny hands on his back, some sort of cloth putting pressure there, the touch reassuring him that his friend was, in fact, safe. From there on out, it was chaos, he heard everyone yelling, the words meshing together in a string of incomprehensible babble, his mind not being able to process things yet, though he recognized the lions' voices screaming at him to hold on, to not give up this time.

Slowly, he opened his eyes, still dizzy and nauseous, and saw that he was lying on the floor face down, Pidge by his side with her hands on his back, trying to stop the blood from flowing but failing, a small puddle forming below him, steadily growing larger. To his left, he could see Kuron, standing tall above them, his robo arm activated and coated in his blood, not a trace of remorse on his face.

His teammates all stood a few feet before them, faces contorted in horror and fear, their weapons out, held in shaky hands and at the ready, Coran and Allura frozen in shock nearby alongside the ice aliens, who were cowering behind her. To their right, Lotor and his sisters were snarling, growling with rage, and he could see the prince trying to reign in his instincts to just go ahead and rip out Kuron's throat for having hurt Lance. It was clear that everyone was eager to move but too worried to act without thinking, and Lance was thankful for that, Kuron was too strong, there was no way they could win and he didn't want to see his loved ones ripped to shreds because of him, because he'd failed.... _again_.

If only he'd been faster, if only he'd realized sooner, maybe they could have avoided this, he could have revealed the truth when they were stronger, ready to fight him with a plan in mind, now he'll just have to wing it and hope to god that everyone came out alive.

He turned his head and saw as Kuron looked down at his hand, then at Lance and back up to his teammates, and a sigh left his lips before he cackled, laughing hysterically, the sound grating Lance's ears.

"Well, too bad, it seems my cover is blown." Kuron grinned, showing his teeth, red eyes glowing ominously, the color reminding him of his friend, and suddenly he was worrying about Keith, wondering how he was doing, if he was okay, which was stupid because he was the one bleeding on the floor, but the red paladin would be pretty out of it right now, and he didn't want him to do something he would regret later. He glanced up and to the left, and there, besides Kolivan, shaking and gasping, was Keith, eyes wide and full of fear, tremors shaking his frame, his mouth agape and hands clutching his chest hard, it was evident that he wasn't getting enough air, and he was going to hyperventilate if he didn't calm down.

"K-...Kei..th..." He grumbled on his mind when his voice was barely a whisper, he wasn't so hurt that his vocal chords should be failing, so the logical explanation was fear, he was scared, he'd messed up again, his friends were going to die because he couldn't solve this on his own. Now it felt like he was the one that was going to hyperventilate.

He kept his gaze on Keith, breaths short and panicked, and saw as the red paladin stopped breathing altogether after Lance whispered his name, eyes falling onto Lance's prone form. He saw as he unclenched his hand and let it fall to his side, saw as he closed his eyes and took a deep breath, his chest moving in tandem, and then finally, after a few ticks, he opened his eyes, the fiery determination that he was so well known for finally surfacing again, and he stepped forward, gaze shifting to Shiro, unforgiving.

"Who are _you_?" His tone was final and harsh, no room for doubt, he knew he wasn't his brother, and there was no way he was going to believe any of the excuses or bullshit Kuron could gave him. Keith had already suspected that something was amiss, which made him more prone to believe what he was going to hear now, though Lance wasn't looking forward to it, he didn't want his friends to suffer.

"Me? I'm _Shiro_ , of course." The bastard put his hand on his hips, the wicked smile never leaving his lips, his eyes holding a murderous glint that made the blue paladin shiver.

"Do not lie! Shiro would never willingly hurt a teammate." Allura's angered voice reverberated around the room. "State your identity right this instant, whoever you are, controlling the leader of Voltron is going to cost you dearly." The princess glowered, her bayard transforming into her whip, and she took a fighting stance, ready to pounce at any second, her eyes moving towards Lance for a tick, turning fierce, before glaring back at Kuron.

"I do not lie, my name is _Shiro_ , I'm actually him, in, and out, his memories, his appearance, his everything belongs to _me_. I'm him, but improved, upgraded, I'm perfection...-he kept silent for a tick and then smirked-... the perfect weapon to destroy Voltron." Allura's parlor paled and she shouted in outrage, her demeanor depicting anger, looking ready to go on a rampage at any second.

"That's impossible!! That technology was banned ten thousand years ago!" She gritted her teeth, looking like she was going to cry, the others turning to her in confusion, seeking answers.

"You've been asleep for along time, princess, things have changed, the druids have access to it, they were able to make me, and none of you noticed the difference, did you?." Everyone blanched, their faces contorted in varying degrees of shame and anger.

"It means you are a fake, nothing more!" She stalked forward towards Keith, and stood side by side with him, resting a hand on his shoulder.

"Keith, this....this is _not_ Shiro...our Shiro, if what he's saying is true...then...he's.....a clone." He heard Pidge gasp, her grip tightening, making him whimper, and she quickly apologized, tiny tremors running through her body as she gazed in fright at the older man.

"I don't want to believe it but....I knew something was wrong...the way he acted, how he spoke to me...I knew it and yet...I should have said something...." Keith groaned, holding his head in his hands, Allura shook her head, her hand never leaving his shoulder, showing her silent support.

"You couldn't have known, this technology was supposed to be destroyed, and as for the clones....for the original, the process was taxing, so if they wanted to- she hesitated, chewing on her lip- if they wanted to keep the real Shiro alive, they couldn't have made more than one clone...so..." So, if they found Shiro again, it was bound to be the real one, for sure this time, the revelation ignited a spark of hope in Lance's broken heart and he felt his breath even out, his shoulders sagging in relief. Besides him, Pidge took his relaxing as a signal that he was fading, and she screamed his name, making the world around them that had seemed to move slower, fast forward, directly into action.

Keith jumped forward with his bayard in hand, and slashed at Kuron with all his strength, the clone jumping back, the smirk never leaving his face. Kuron activated his arm and with quick movements lunged at the red paladin, slashing across his chest, and Keith barely managed to dodge, a few stray hairs from his fringe falling away, being cut by the sharp laser hand. From across the room, Lotor made hand signals to his girls, and with a nod, they scattered around, the prince running fast and swift towards Kuron, taking out his sword and proceeding to join the fray and aid Keith on his fight.

It looked like at first, the red paladin would refuse Lotor's help, grumbling and glaring at him like he was an enemy, but then the prince leaned down to whisper something in his ear and Keith stilled, eyes widening, and then his gaze shifted to Lance. He didn't know what he saw when he looked at him, how broken he really was, or what Lotor said, but then the red paladin's eyes were narrowing, filled with steel and purpose, and he nodded at the galran, both of them standing side by side and glowering at Kuron.

The fake laughed, incredulity and disbelief ever present on his features.

"What are you doing, _paladin_? Do you really think you can defeat _me_?" Kuron cackled, cracking his knuckles. "Even if you join forces, it's useless, my strength surpasses whatever amount your pitiful human bodies may possess." Keith scowled, stance never wavering, his bayard in position, and by his side, Lotor did the same, a growling sound coming from deep within his throat, his fangs showing as he snarled.

"Be as confident as you wish, you hurt one of our _own_ , do not think you're going to get out of this alive." Lotor's voice was cold and filled with venom, Lance could see that he was shaking, and even in the dire situation he found himself in, his heart swelled at knowing he was cared for, cherished, loved.

"Who, this useless piece of trash?" Kuron looked down at Lance with contempt, he gazed at him like he was less than nothing, an annoyance, the dirt under his boots, it made Lance's blood boil in his veins. "I knew he would be the easiest to kill, he's the weakest out of all of you, after all." Keith shrieked and Lotor actually screeched, both of them throwing themselves at Kuron, their attacks ruthless, relentless, dealing blow after blow, working in tandem, whirling around each other while using the momentum to fling themselves at Kuron without respite.

Meanwhile, on Lance's end, he was seething, suddenly feeling like he was burning under his clothes, his jaw clenched tight, just like his fists, and he huffed angrily, wanting nothing more than to beat Kuron to a pulp for underestimating him. But before he could even try to think about acting on his thoughts, gentle hands were turning him around, one sneaking behind his back carefully while the other reached down his knees, and then he was being lifted up.

He yelped in surprise, and found himself face to face with Ezor, who smiled worriedly at him, her brow still creased in anger, Narti and the others were nowhere to be found, and neither were Vakala and Remdax. Looking around he noticed that Pidge had left as soon as Ezor arrived, she and Hunk were supporting Keith and Lotor from a distance, while Allura and Coran were tinkering with the castle from one terminal, taking control of the defense mechanisms and probably going to use them in their favour.

He also saw that Kolivan was gone, probably to find his men and aid on the battle, at least he hoped so, they needed all the help they could get, otherwise, they were all as good as dead. Just thinking about it made him pale, and he had to rest his head against Ezor's shoulder when a sudden bout of dizziness overwhelmed him, his breaths quick and uneven.

"Shush, its fine, it's okay, I've got you." The galran tried to soothe him, nuzzling her head against his, but now his mind was full of images of his friends dying in numerous ways, each more gruesome than the previous one, and he couldn't stop thinking that it was his fault. Five loud roars told him very clearly to stop thinking like that, love and warmth and a very loud ' _not your fault_ ' filling him to the brim, supporting him, telling him to concentrate, to _see_. And then they erased everything around him, all the noise, the smells, the feeling, they cleared his mind and asked him to focus on only one thing.

_'Look at Kuron, and see.'_

And so he did, as Ezor took off, running out the room, he glanced back, peeking slightly above her shoulder, he focused hard and squinted, not even blinking, and after a second, he understood, he _saw_.

Inside Kuron, a black and a blue aura continued fighting, the slimy dark one curled in around the ocean one, gripping it tightly, strangling it's waves with force, making it's light dimmer and dimmer, looking as thought it would disappear. But the blue persisted, tsunamis crashing over the black slime and trying to drown it, every time it would try to resurface, whirlpools would form and it would sink again, deeper and deeper each time. Still, it wasn't enough, the ooze turned into mist, dark smoke turning into clouds than rained down into the ocean, black rain poisoning the water, eating away at the blue until only specks remained.

And suddenly, he _understood_.

And a ray of hope shone down on him, the lions purring at finally being able to help.

"Lance, sweety, what are you doing?!" Ezor's voice was mildly hysterical, and she clutched at him tighter, sounding scared, he turned to look at her and she gasped.

"Lance...your....your eyes..." He tilted his head, puzzled. "It's like.....they're shining with starlight....like....all the stars and space dust are trapped within, sparkling inside them...it's beautiful." Her voice was filled with awe and wonder, but he couldn't dwell on that right now, he had a mission, he knew how to make things right, how to end this.

He finally _knew_.

He'd been blind, too focused on his own pain and fear to notice, to piece together the pieces of the puzzle, he'd been uncertain and scared, not wanting to change anything , panicking about the outcome that he'd have to deal with if things had gone south. Of course Kuron was a clone, that much was clear, but Allura had explained on his last redo, that they copied the original's memories, their core, what made them _them,_ and transferred the data to the new body, so even if he was fake, he would still be like Shiro, kind, caring, a good leader, a good friend.

The logical conclusion to reach was that they made something to the clone, altered him in some way so they could control him, and he wasn't a hundred percent sure, but the two auras he saw fighting could mean that the original personality, the one that was just like Shiro, was fighting, trying to break free from the galran control.

And Lance was going to help him do that.

Black roared, sharing his life force with him so he found the strength to move, to act, before it was too late, the other lions whimpered, worry filling their core, and it made Lance pale, because it could only mean that his friends were in trouble, and he wasn't going to allow that. He had to make things right, he would save his teammates and Kuron too, he was going to break this loop and emerge a champion, this time, for real.

He wiggled and struggled on Ezor's arms, catching her attention, and she stopped running, leaning down to bump foreheads, humming softly as if to calm him down.

"Ezor, I need to go back." She immediately denied him, saying his wound needed treatment right now or he would be in trouble, her whole demeanor was closed off, she was scared.

"No, you don't understand, they are in trouble, my friends...Lotor....everyone..." He teared up, images of death and destruction swirling around his mindscape, making him feel faint."...everyone is going to die....we need to go back, please..." He wasn't above begging, he couldn't walk there on his own, he needed to save his strength as much as he could, he and the lions had a plan, it was reckless, and dangerous, but it was the only way.

"Lance...no, I...please, don't make me endanger you like this, you can't even move, let alone fight, what are you trying to accomplish.?" She frowned, her beautiful features hardening, it was obvious she was protective, her galran instincts flaring just as the prince said, she wasn't going to let some potential family member, a friend, die because he'd been rash on his decisions.

"Ezor...do you trust me?" He looked her in the eye, his hands clutching at her chest piece, pouring all his emotions, all his determination in his stare, the force of it never wavering, Ezor didn't hesitate.

"Of course I do, you saved my brother's life, you believed in him when he needed it most, I trust you with my life." She bowed her head, sucking in a shaky breath and letting it out, then she straightened, resolve shining bright in her eyes, and she glanced at him, her hands clutching him in a death grip.

"What do you need me to do?" He grinned, now full of life, the pain on his back dulled by the pure quintessence that the lions had poured into him, giving him the push he needed to go on.

"You take me there, I'll take care of the rest." She inhaled though her nose and stood still for a second, then, with a nod of her head she narrowed her eyes and took off running, fast as lightning, aiming towards the docks, where the sound of gunfire, screams and fire could be heard.

He closed his eyes and enjoyed the feeling of speed as she ran, the wind blowing his hair away from his face, it reminded him of those times he used to fly his father's hover bike, the rush and excitement of flying, of being free, it was liberating and made him feel weightless.

He'd crashed into the ocean once, nearly gave his mother a heart attack, but he came back unscathed, so everything had been fine in the end, even though his father had chastised him for hours on end afterwards, ranting about being responsible, being careful, etc.

He didn't stop doing it, though.

He heard the noises increase in volume, alerting him that they were growing closer to their destination, and he tried to gather whatever confidence he had in him, steeling himself for what he was about to do. It was simple, in a way, he would try and do the same thing he'd done with Haggar so many days ago, Black had explained to him, that with as much quintessence as he had now, he could manipulate it at will, it was, fundamentally, just raw energy, malleable, he could use it as he saw fit.

The only downside? It was like using up years of his life as payment, only, he was using his redos as the coin, so if he wanted to be able to come back, he couldn't be careless with how much energy he used, and how many times he did so, it was a last resort, his last hope in a hopeless situation.

Such as this one.

He was going to gather a lot of his aura, he was going to melt it, concentrate it, and then release it all at once, just like he did last time, with the only difference that now, he would infuse another's aura with his, he would power up the blue inside Kuron, make it so it could finally overwhelm the black. It was like he was going to rise Kuron several levels in a row, the exp points being his gifted quintessence.

The lions warned him of the danger though, saying that he had to avoid being touched by the black aura, and that he had to be careful not to send too much to Kuron, or he would overwhelm his body, making it shut down while simultaneously knocking himself out.

Not something he wanted to happen.

Ezor's steps suddenly halted, and he jolted back to the present, eyes snapping open and looking forward, where the docks were just a few feet away, the smell of smoke reaching his nostrils, silence permeating every crevice of the castle, making him anxious and terrified.

He urged the galran to go in, and as soon as they arrived, he gasped in horror.

The room was a mess, mangled pieces of metal were strewn everywhere, the walls, ceiling and floor were cracked, broken, pieces of debris falling around like deathly rain, fires were burning brightly around the room, grey smoke filling the area and making it nearly impossible to see.

He gasped, terrified that he had been too late, that his friends were hurt or worse, and his breath hitched, his aura focusing on his eyes, his gaze roaming around, trying desperately to locate his teammates. Thankfully, it didn't take long to find them, he saw Pidge's and Hunks's auras, dim and laying low, barely moving, they were on the far end of the docks, their auras suggesting they were unconscious, but alive.

He sighed in relief before he sought the others, he managed to find Coran and Allura, their auras a bunch of sparkly space dust, or glitter, shining bright and colorful like fireworks, they were on the right side, leaning on the walls, it looked like the princess was hurt and Coran was trying to keep her safe, away from danger.

He noticed a lot of purple auras laying around the chamber, and deduced that it was probably the blade's members, hurt and knocked out, some of them most possibly dead. His stomach clenched and his throat closed off, he felt like crying, everything was going wrong, why couldn't he have been faster? Why didn't he notice sooner? Why did he have to fail? Now those galra were dead because of him, and there was nothing he could do about it.

Nothing but make sure that he succeeded on this mission, so their sacrifice wasn't wasted, their deaths weren't in vain.

He gulped and glanced to the left of the room, and saw Lotor's and Keith's auras, alongside Kuron's, they were still fighting, though it looked like the clone was overwhelming them, the red paladin's aura sizzling then fading rapidly, only to set ablaze a second later, the process repeating in a cycle. It made very clear to Lance that his teammate was badly hurt, trying in vain to fight back against the pain, to defeat the enemy that had caused him such grief, but his body wasn't cooperating, and sooner or later, he was going to lose that fight.

He needed to get there before that happened. His eyes focused to Keith's right, and he found the prince's life energy, he was in better shape than his friend, but it was clear his strength was waning, his movements slowing as he was pushed back by the sheer force of Kuron's unyielding swipes. His eyes narrowed as the Black slime of Kuron's aura overwhelmed the blue again, the small waterfalls trying to purify it to no avail, the clone's attacks were fierce and quick, and he was rapidly getting the upper hand, his laugh reverberating around the room, making the hairs on the back of his neck stand on end.

He shuddered.

"Are you ready to give up now, paladins?" Kuron's voice boomed loud around them. "There is no way you can defeat me, give up now, submit and we will spare your pathetic lives." He cackled again, the whirring of his arm deafening amongst the silence that permeated the room, the ominous purple light making Lance growl, the lions joining him in his outrage.

"You wish." Lance snarled, then, gathering his strength, he slowly got up with Ezor's help, standing by her side, his hands clenched into fists as he tried to keep at bay the rage that threatened to drown him. "Ezor, I'm going to go in there, and I'm going to get Keith and Lotor out -he looked her in the eye- and no matter what happens, what you hear or see, you need to hold them back, keep them _safe_." His voice was serious, no room for questions or doubt, his gaze full of steel as he locked eyes with his friend. She gulped and bowed her head, resting her forehead against his, her breaths short and panicked.

"I will, I- she took in a shaky breath- I promise I will just- just please, be okay, stay safe." He closed his eyes and held her hand in his, squeezing it softly before letting go, he turned around and gave a signal to the lions, their life-force filling him to the brim, making him forget about the blood pouring down his back and onto his jeans, making it so he wouldn't feel the burn and the sting, the whole area numb as he gathered his courage and strided forward without hesitation, eyes zeroing in on his objective.

He ran towards Keith without stopping, and tackled him to the ground before a swipe from Kuron could slice his head off, both of them falling with a loud thud. Lance rolled them off to the right, out of the way, and he clamped his friends' mouth shut before he could say anything, giving away their location. He waited until Kuron's aura went the opposite way and looked down, Keith's eyes were wide, gazing back at Lance with surprise, whole body tense and bayard still gripped tight.

Slowly, Lance lifted the hand on Keith's mouth, and with a small voice whispered. "Keep quiet." He stared at his teammate, his eyes never leaving until the red paladin nodded, still astonished and frozen in place. He got up quickly, a bout of dizziness nearly sending him tumbling back onto the floor, but he managed to keep upright, it was troublesome, the state he was in, he wasn't able to feel the whole extent of his injury, but it's side effects were loud and clear, appearing one after another, making his movements sluggish.

As soon as Keith was on his feet, Lance wasted no time, he held his hand and whirled back, searching for Lotor. He wasn't hard to find, he was a few feet behind them, holding his own against Kuron, but he was having trouble attacking, choosing to be on the defensive instead. With no time to doubt or second guess himself, he ran straight towards Lotor, giving Keith no warning, making him stumble after him as he darted forward, his shoes making a loud smacking sound as they hit the floor, a small trail of blood left in his hurry.

He passed by Lotor's side without stopping, and gripped his hand tight, quickening his pace as he bolted in the direction were Ezor was waiting near the door. He heard as Lotor yelped, probably about to say something, but he turned around, now able to see his companions faces, and muttered again for them to keep quiet. He didn't know if it was the look on his face or the fact that, from where thet were following him they could see the state his back was in, but they didn utter a single word, it looked like they weren't even breathing, and he was grateful for it, he couldn't afford any distractions right now.

They hurriedly followed him as he ran, his eyes focused on Ezor's aura, they were close, and a few seconds later they exited the thick smoke that had been surrounding them, the bunch of them kneeling on the floor as they gasped for air, trying to gather whatever strength they had. Lance was the first to recover, getting to his feet in record time as he gazed at Ezor, who was kneeling by her brother, rubbing his back as he coughed, Keith doing the same by his side. Both of them were covered in soot and dirt, scratches and cuts littering their bodies, the red paladin had a bad gash on his forehead, near his brow, and his lip was bleeding, probably as he bit himself to stop crying out in pain when he was hurt.

Lotor was no better, his neck had been nicked, and the blood was pooling down and into his suit, darkening the cloth a deep black, his left wrist was bent slightly, and it didn't seem like he could move it at all, he also had an injury on his side, his own hand putting pressure there, trying to stop the blood from flowing, both of them looked like they were ready to pass out.

He felt guilt smack into him full force, bile rising up in his throat at the realization that if he had been a little bit late, if he'd taken longer to come up with a plan, they'd be dead. The heavy weight of the responsibility he was tasked with threatened to crush him, his knees nearly bucking under the pressure, but he stood tall, hands clutching his chest, and he bowed his head, breathing as deep as he could before letting it out.

The lions curled around him, their warmth cocooning his body, the energy they were feeding him keeping him upright, and he tried to psych himself up, it was okay, he could do this, he was going to save everyone, he had to do this, for his friends, for his family, for Shiro.

He opened his eyes and let them fall on Ezor again, and she gazed at him, full of uncertainty, he didn't know where her sisters had gone to, maybe to seek outside help, or search for weapons, it was unknown, but as long as they were safe, it was okay.

" I hope you keep up your part of our promise...sister." He knew it was a low blow, a dirty trick, to use the bond Ezor and her family cherished so much to make sure she and the others didn't interfere, but he just wanted to keep them safe, out of harms way, and right now he didn't care what methods he had to use to make it happen.

Her eyes widened and she teared up, jumping to her feet and looking him dead in the eye. "I will -her voice cracked a little- I swear on my honor I will." And he gave her a smile, his heart fluttering, knowing he had someone's unconditional trust.

"Wha- what are you guys talking about?" Keith's voice, full of hesitation and a tingle of fear made him turn away, he sounded pained and hurt, as if he would break down crying any time now, and Lance knew the reason why he was so broken. He missed his brother, the real one, his mind was trying to process the events that had occurred, but it hadn't dawned on him just yet how dire the situation really was. He didn't want to see the look on his face as he realized that they never really had a clue on where Shiro really was, that it was all a trap, that they were back to square one, still incomplete.

He had to go now, if he looked back at the red paladin, he was sure he would second guess his decision, and the clock was ticking, he couldn't afford to stall any longer.

"See ya, Keith." He took off without waiting for a response, and he barely caught Keith's and Lotor's scream of his name before a yelp was heard and their voices became muffled by the roaring of the fire and the creaking of the castle around him. He stopped when he was dead in the center of it all, breath stuttering and chest heaving, all his senses focused on finding his target, trying to locate that darkness, that wicked slime that left a trail of dread as it passed by.

He didn't have to wait long, he narrowly managed to duck to the right as an arm sliced where his head had just been, a few stray hairs flying away from how close he'd been. He whirled in place and turned to face Kuron, a depraved smile still contorting his features into something sinister. Nobody moved, both of them just staring at the other, frozen, gauging the other's reactions, looking for an opening, a chance.

"Well, well, if it isn't the blue paladin. What brings you here? Ready to finally meet your maker?" Kuron grinned, his eyes narrowing into slits as he waved his arm around.

"Not on _your_ life." He huffed, annoyed at the whole unfairness of the situation. "Just came to finish things off -Kuron raised an eyebrow- I know your secret, you know?" The clone tensed, though he would have missed it if he wasn't actively looking for a reaction.

"So smart, really, reading his memories, acting like you were Shiro, when you're clearly _not_." Kuron clenched his teeth, a snarl forming on his lips, fist clenched tight, he knew he was making him mad, about to lose control, but that's what he wanted, make him act rash, reckless, impulsive, it will leave an opening. "You thought you were doing perfect, that no one would notice, but your acting sucks, you're nothing like Shiro, if he was here, you'd already be dead meat, you can't compare to the original...you failure." It hurt, talking like that, he knew it wasn't the clone's fault, that he was just being used, like a pawn that they would toss out as soon as he outdid his usefulness, but it was necessary, he needed to cloud his mind, make him waver, unstable, only then would he be able to play his trump card.

He got what he wanted a tick later, the heat of Kuron's galran arm nearly gouging his eye out as he evaded the attack, barely. The clone attacked relentlessly, ruthless and brutal, aiming to kill, eyes wild and feral, teeth clenched and whole body trembling, it seemed he had some insecurities and Lance exposed all of them, well, welcome to the club then.

Black growled suddenly right on his ear, and he understood it was time, he ducked to the floor and slided in between Kuron's legs, whirling around with a swift movement, then he blocked everything else out, and focused all his energy on his eyes, the auras becoming visible again. He concentrated and tried to remember back then, when he'd collected all his quintessence and blasted Haggar away, trying to recall how it felt, how the raw life force was hot in between his clenched hands, how it burned and pulsated like a beating heart, as if it was being restrained, waiting to explode in a bout of light and sound.

He directed all his attention to himself, trying to feel the things on his body that were out of place, to pinpoint each and every difference that originated since that fateful day he fell on that pool. He crawled and digged and reached the core of his being, usually small and round, waves enveloping it and shining bright like the sun, and came face to face with something different. Instead of a small puddle, he found himself knee deep inside an ocean, not a shore could be seen, all around was just water, it's reaches infinite as he could never see an end, just it's vastness extending beyond the horizon forever. It felt like undercurrents were tickling his feet, hot and cold at the same time, they were flowing forward and backwards simultaneously, the ebb and flow of the sea never stopping, always on the move.

It was clear that all of that ocean was not him, that had been the ' _gift_ ' that the voices had given him, too much to be considered normal, too vast an expanse for him to understand, but he was the guardian spirit of water, he could adapt. And so he did, he reached for the sea, collected all he could in between his hands, condensed it with the help of his lion, her voice guiding him every step of the way until the sphere was clear before him, crystalline water swirling around as if it was alive.

His eyes sought Kuron's, who was paralyzed with something akin to fear in his eyes, and then Lance outstretched his hand, reaching for the Blue that was fading inside the clone's body, and began to, slowly but surely, feeding him his quintessence, a constant stream linking both beings, connecting them. He heard as Kuron gasped, hands clenching his chest, saw as the blue aura, the small sea, raged again, expanding more and more with Lance's help, a tsunami crashing over the black slime again and again, weakening it.

He fixated his eyes forward again, noticed as Kuron coughed and screamed, as he tried to walk towards Lance, his arm activated and ready to tear him apart. He saw as he staggered and his breath hitched, eyes closing halfway, he saw as he shook his head, voice cracking with fear as he spoke.

"No-n-no...I won't- I will not- won't disappear-I still-I-..." Kuron gagged and clutched his head, breath erratic. "Shut up...you won't-I will go back- you won't stop me- I'll-....I'll be free this time!!" His voice raised at the same time the blue aura finally overwhelmed the black, the dark slime screeching as it dwindled to a tiny speck, finally being swallowed by the waves that washed away any remnant of the darkness that had settled there.

A deafening silence followed, it was as if time had slowed down, everything moving in slow motion, nothing could be heard but his own heavy breathing and the pants that Kuron was exhaling.

He noticed a pressure on his hand, and watched as Kuron's right hand was clasped tightly on his own, the link between both of them reaching closer, making Blue sing, the blue aura and his own ocean joining together to form something bigger, something far greater, he felt himself vibrate with the roar of the waves as they sang, thankful, relieved, full of happiness and affection, at peace.

He saw as Kuron fell backwards, his eyes shut, expression peaceful and calm, and felt himself smile, filled to the brim with relief, only to be soaked to the bone with exhaustion a tick later.

The lion's energy that had been keeping him going retracted, all of them apologizing, trying to convey to him how sorry they were that they weren't able to keep it on for longer. He just shook his head and thanked them before his legs failed him and he tumbled forward, falling on his side just besides Kuron, he was so tired, he couldn't move a muscle, the wound on his back was burning, it stung, brining tears to his eyes, and every little shift of the floor below him tugged on his skin, making his wound worse, he felt like fainting.

A wave of nausea decided it was a good time to overwhelm him, and he gagged and coughed, though, thankfully he didn't vomit, and his breaths became rough and shallow, his eyes prickling with the need to cry now that everything was over. A tick passed by and he froze, he had asked Ezor not to interfere, not to let anyone come and help no matter what they heard, but... _but_...he was going to die, if someone didn't come soon, he was going to bleed out, and if he did....if he did....everything would go back, all his efforts would have been for nothing.

He panicked, he hacked and gasped, trying to move, only to fall right back down as his body refused to obey, he whimpered, tears forming on the corners of his eyes, _no no no, this couldn't be happening, he'd done it, everything was fine, he needed to go, he had to survive._ He weeped with his head in his hands, not caring how loud he was or how pathetic he looked, he curled in on himself, every cell on his body hurt, he couldn't talk, couldn't find the energy to save himself, he'd failed, _again_.

He thought he had more time, enough to go back on his own and treat his wounds, he'd been mistaken, the lions weren't able to keep it up and the injury was worse than he thought, rendering him unable to move.

He was wailing so loud, lost in his own misery, that he didn't notice when someone approached him, and startled when rough hands carefully lifted him up, cradling him tenderly, he panted and whimpered, moving his hands and looking up, right into Lotor's kind face.

"Lance....oh deity, Lance." He exhaled and tried to calm himself, what was Lotor doing there? Had Ezor broken her promise? Were they alright?

"W-why...." He sniffed, trying in vain not to cry again, clutching at the prince's undersuit with all his might, his hands trembling with the energy spent on that small movement.

"I'm sorry, I asked Ezor what happened, she told me what you asked of her, that you wanted to keep us safe -Lotor leaned in, resting his forehead against Lance's- I was horrified, thinking that you were going to sacrifice yourself or something of the sort." He took a deep breath before continuing. "But I trusted you, just as she did, knew you'd have a plan, something on your mind, you're resourceful, smart, I was sure you discovered something we did not." Lance tearfully smiled, small hiccups leaving his lips, trying to turn into sobs.

"The Red paladin tried to run right back in after you, shouting your name in desperation, but I knew what you wanted, to keep your friends safe, to protect. So we knocked him out, seeing as he was bleeding and didn't stop moving, his gaze filled with horror and fire, a determination so intense it felt like I would burn if I touched him." Lance was grateful that he'd done that, Keith could be mad all he wanted, as long as he was still alive, it didn't matter if he hated Lance.

"But I couldn't do the same, I'm selfish, I couldn't just stand back and watch, waiting for you to return, I'm not the kind of person that takes loss very well -Lance smiled- I wasn't about to let my new little brother disappear." The prince brought him even closer, keeping him warm, covering the wound on his back with some sort of cloth that felt cool to the touch, he winced and gasped at the feeling, but relaxed as the sting and the pain waned slightly.

"We're going to take you to the med bay, we'll take care of you, don't worry about a thing." Lance shook his head, feeling faint, vision darkening slowly, but he had to say it, even in this situation, when his survival was the top priority, he couldn't endanger his secret, couldn't risk it being exposed, he had to tell him.

"Pl-...ease...no...h-healing...pod...." He locked eyes with Lotor, close as he was, and saw as his eyes narrowed, disapproval and fear dancing around inside them. "Pl...please....don't...." He teared up again, he didn't want them to hate him, wouldn't be able to take it if they thought him a monster, if he was left all alone again.

"Shush,- he brushed the hair out of his face- don't cry, I'm sorry, it's okay, no pods I promise you." Lotor stood up and moved to get out of the smoke, but Lance tugged at his hair, catching his attention.

"Don't.....hurt....him...." The prince's gaze fell onto Kuron's prone form, watching as his chest raised and fell slowly. "He....being....co-...controlled....not'is fault..." His words slurred together, and he knew he was going to fade soon, scared as he was, he couldn't really fight the darkness creeping around him fast, and the lions curled around him then, soothing him, their warmth lulling him to sleep even faster, their thoughts urging him to do so, saying that it was okay, he'd done it, he just needed rest now.

He felt Lotor take off running, barking orders at someone, then his eyes closed on their own accord, his breath evened out and he gave in, and slept.

\--

He woke up to the sound of engines, why the hell were they so loud, and so near? He could feel something soft beneath him and covering him, warmth surrounding him from both sides, and he sighed in content, turning on his side and nuzzling his pillow, who vibrated and nuzzled him back. It was nice, everything was soft and warm, and so so comfortable, he felt like he didn't want to get up, his tired bones protesting even at the idea of doing so, his mind drifted away slowly and he was about to fall asleep again, when a sudden realization smacked him in the face.

Pillows do not nuzzle back, neither do they vibrate.

He groaned and tried to pry his eyes open, finding it difficult, but after a few tries, he managed to crack them a little, blinking a few times to try and focus his vision, the dim lights helping him do so. The first thing he saw was white hair in a braid, then purple skin, Lotor was sleeping beside him, running a hand through his hair as he purred softly, on his other side, Ezor lay curled around his back, her hands running in circles on the expanse of his shoulders, being mindful of his wounds, her purring less noticeable, but there.

So those werent engines he'd been hearing, good to know.

He squirmed and tried to move out of Lotor's grip, intent on sitting upright, only for the prince to tug him softly against him and squeeze, cuddling against his side again, seemingly having no intention of letting go. Any other time, he would have enjoyed the physical contact and probably purred along with his cuddle buddies, but anxiety was beginning to eat up at him, his mind trying to fill the blank lapse of time with terrifying scenarios and possibilities, each worse than the first.

There was a chance that, even though he survived, things ended horribly anyway, there was the possibility that his teammates killed Kuron, even though he tried so hard to save him. Or maybe Lance hadn't managed to purify his mind and he ended up hurting his friends, ending, again, with his death. Or maybe he was imprisoned, or hurt, maybe they didnt heal him and he was suffering, slowly bleeding out, oh god, he was going to puke, his stomach was churning and his throat hurt, breathing felt like it was out of reach and his eyes stung.

A hand carding tenderly through his hair brough him out of his reverie, eyes snapping open and locking with Lotor's form, the prince was looking at him with lidded eyes, a melancholic smile on his face.

"You are fine, it's okay." His voice gave Lance the impression that he hadn't slept much, sounding tired but relieved at the same time, had he been consoling him the whole time he was unconscious? Lance knew he was prone to nightmares ever since he began his redos, the gruesome things he experienced leaving him traumatized, and even if he had succeeded and moved on to the next day, he still dreamed of what could of happened if he'd failed again.

It sucked.

"Lance?" He raised his eyes to meet the prince's, and flinched at the worried look he was giving him, guilt coiling hot in his gut, his nerves forgotten for now until he managed to paint a smile on his friend's face again.

"I'm fine, I'm awake." His voice sounded wrecked to his own ears, throat sore and dry like he hadn't talked for weeks, the latter thought nearly sending him spiraling into a fit of stress again.

Lotor sighed in relief, knocking foreheads together with Lance. "I'm so relieved you're awake, I was worried our healing techniques hadn't worked as well as I thought they would." He raised an eyebrow at that, but didn't comment on it.

Movement our of the corner of his eye caught his attention, and he nearly giggled when Ezor got up and yawned, clothes askew and drool dried on her cheek. As soon as she saw he was awake, though, her eyes lit up, sleepiness long forgotten, and she tackled him to the mattress, rubbing her cheek on his own, a content noise leaving her lips as she snuggled him, making him laugh.

"Ezor, please, refrain from hugging to death our recently recovered brother, he must still hurt." She yelped and jumped off him, apologizing softly when he winced, he noticed that his back felt tender and kinda raw, as if his skin had been though a grater, leaving his muscles out in the open. It stung as he sat up, the skin dry and tense around it, pulling slightly as he moved. It was uncomfortable, nothing like getting out of a healing pod with a minor headache and itchy skin, but he would take this a million times over instead of entering a pod as he was right now.

He supposed he had Lotor to thank for that, seeing as he was in his room (he deduced, since the decor was mainly grey, black, and purple, and Ezor was there too), he really needed to ask what happened, it was clear that he survived -thank god for small mercies- but he was completely in the dark about Kuron, his team, and everything else. It was time to investigate and find out if he was really fucked, walking on thin air, or out of the woods.

He leaned against the fluffy pillows on the headboard of the bed slowly, mindful of his back, and when he was settled, he gazed at Lotor, ready to question him.

"Lotor....what happened after I was out? Is- he bit his lip-....is my team alive? Is Kuron alive?" The prince looked surprised for a tick, before a sweet smile bloomed on his face, lighting up his features.

"Yes, indeed they are. I knew that you would worry about them before worrying about yourself, so I asked Acxa for daily reports on their status, everyone is safe as of now, the clone included." Lance slumped a little backwards, flinching when his back stung at the pull, but he powered through his discomfort, ready to find out what had been Kuron's fate, as well as his friends'. He remembered that Allura had been hurt, and Keith as well, Pidge and Hunk were probably roughed up too, he just hoped it had been nothing too serious.

"Can you tell me - Ezor handed him a water pouch- thank you Ezor, can you tell me what happened? I hope everything didn't go to shit after I blacked out." Drinking that water pouch made him come back to life, it felt like he'd been reborn, his throat and body thanking him for the hydration, his headache receding back a little, allowing him to concentrate more.

"Of course, you must be anxious, not knowing." He nodded, expression tight. "After you fainted, I ran to find Ezor again, she had been gathering everyone by the door, the princess, her advisor, and all your friends, as well as Kolivan, who had been knocked out in the fight." At least the Blade's leader was alive, he was glad he'd managed to make it.

"We took everyone to the med bay, where Coran proceeded to put everyone into healing pods, besides the princess, who looked ready to murder me, seeing as I was both carrying your unconscious and bleeding form, as well as Kuron's prone body." Just, how strong were the galra? Did he carry one in each arm or something? Was that why Keith was so brutal half the time he fought? It would make sense, and a strange thought nearly formed on his mind before he vanished it away, not the time Lance.

" I managed to explain to her that he'd been, indeed, controlled, just as I was, I didn't have a reason to give to her, seeing as you faded before being able to rely it to me, but I deduced it had something to do with his personality and traits." Lance hummed, gesturing for him to continue." I knew a bit about cloning technology, so I filled in the blanks and told her my theory, that as a clone, his memories, emotions and actions were dictated by the core of what made the original Shiro, well, Shiro. From what I've heard he was kind, reliable, mature, someone you could depend on, those traits should have been passed onto Kuron, making them nearly indistinguishable." He nodded, that's what he'd been thinking, he reached that conclusion only because he saw the auras, but it was the same.

"But it wasn't like that, his actions were selfish, his behavior childish, and his decisions not something the true black paladin would make. I explained to her that he'd been infected, poisoned by Haggar just like I was, that he'd been a victim just like me, and he deserved a second chance. She wasn't pleased, I'll tell you that, but I knew your wish was to ensure his safety, so while Ezor and Narti treated your wounds, I convinced her as best as I could, and she conceded in the end, allowing him to rest in a cryo pod far away from the others, isolated, until he was healthy for questioning." Typical, Allura wasn't going to take any chances, wasn't going to risk the team for just a theory, until she had facts and a good enough reason to believe them, she would be cautious, that's why she was such a great leader.

"With that matter out of the way and your wounds taken care of temporarily, we made to leave, but were stopped by the red paladin -Lance nearly jumped in surprise- he woke up just as he was going to get into the pod, and stalked up to me, bleeding and raging, ready to burn, and questioned where we were taking you, hurt as you were." He laughed a little, feeling like an idiot, he already knew Keith felt bad about the fight they had, knew that he wanted to make things right someday, but the fact that even mad as he was now he still worried for Lance made something warm and sweet flutter in his stomach, knowing that he still could renew their friendship.

"I told him the truth, that you wanted nothing to do with the pods, and terrified as you had been, I wasn't about to break my promise, I said that I would take you to our quarters and treat your wounds with galran technology, I promised to take care of you and make sure you lived." He smiled thankfully at the prince and Ezor, happy that he kept his promise, he would have to thank Narti, Acxa and Zethrid later, as he was sure they helped.

"He wasn't happy, and fought tooth and nail to try and keep you there, saying that you would heal faster and better, that you didn't need to know about it, that we could lie to you. You should have heard Ezor, she growled like a Zirhkan in the jungle, a promise to a brother is never broken, you cannot betray his trust like that, I told him as much." He tried to picture it and fought not to laugh, seeing as Keith was half galra, maybe his instincts had been telling him to fight with the other group, trying to get back what was supposed to be part of his team, possessiveness, Lotor had said, right?.

"He was stubborn, and I nearly just bolted, ignoring him, but then you let out a pained sound, and the fight flew out of him, his eyes wide and filled with remorse. He let us go after that, and we ran back here to take care of your injury, you've been asleep for three days, a bad fever keeping you under for the first two, but you improved on the third, and as of today, it seems you're good enough to move, with caution, that is." He nodded, but he still wanted to know how his team was doing, if Kuron had woken up, he had to know everything.

"Ah, forgive me, your team is doing wonderfully, the inquisitive one, Pidge, has come visit with your friend Hunk a few times over the days, staying with us for some time before going back to their routine, the green paladin had a mild concussion and a few bruises, but nothing serious. The yellow paladin had broken ribs and some cuts and burns, but just like the small one, they healed fast on the pods and are as good as new." He smiled wide at that, glad that his friends had recovered, that they had worried and came to spend time with him while he was out, it filled his chest with affection and a strange sense of pride.

"The princess had been knocked out and had a nasty gash on her side, but thankfully, she healed fast and no scar remained, her advisor was mostly just bruised and sore, and refused to go into a pod, choosing instead to guard over them and the castle in the event that something happened." Typical Coran, always putting others before himself, he would pay him a visit later, see if he was patched up or needed some help with that, stubborn as he was, Lance was sure he still hadn't treated his own wounds, Lance would take care of that.

The prince smiled a little, continuing his tale. "Kolivan was hurt too, a broken arm and some contusions, but he refused the pods, too, they were not made for Galra, so he was skeptical about going into one, deciding instead to heal the old way. He also had to take care of the funerals of his men -Lance looked down, clenching his fists in anger- don't make that face, Lance, they fought for what they believed was right, they choose to stay and protect Voltron, because they believed it would one day bring peace back to the universe, let's honor their sacrifice by making sure their wish becomes a reality." He gulped, swallowing the lump on his throat and tilted his head in acknowledgement, eyes closing as to try and keep the tears at bay, he hadn't known the members of the Blade very well, but they were nice guys,they would always wave back when he greeted them, awkward as the movement was, and they humored him when he was lonely, talking with him about whatever topic they found.

It wasnt fair, they didn't deserve it.

"The rest of their members were bruised but mostly okay, and left alongside Kolivan to take care of themselves, back then, Acxa, Narti and Zethrid left to take our weapons and bring them to us, but they got trapped on the way back when an explosion from the docks collapsed the hallway they were in. They are not familiar with the castle, so they couldn't find how to return and when they finally did, the fight was over, so they were unscathed." That was good, at least someone didn't get hurt, no matter the reason why.

"As for the red paladin...-Lance's breath hitched, worry creeping in on him again- he had a gash on his forehead, a broken wrist, some bruised ribs, probably a concussion, and burns and other small injuries, he was hurting, and he still fought by my side, never giving up, not faltering even once, he's an admirable warrior, I can see why you think so highly of him." He sputtered and squealed, denying that affirmation with all his might, he just wanted to be his friend, nothing more, nothing less.

"He got out of the pod on the first day, and as far as I know, he hasn't talked with anyone, he just stands before the door that leads where Kuron is sleeping, looking ahead but at nothing at the same time, and goes back to his room when he tires of that." And now Lance wanted to cry, he must be devastated, all this time, thinking that his brother was finally back, that he was alive and well, thinking that his only family would never leave him again...but he did, they ripped him away yet again, and Keith was left with nothing, he probably thought that he couldn't trust anyone or anything, betrayed, alone.

He'd gone as far as ignoring Shiro's strange behaviors, denying himself the obvious wrong that shrouded the fake black paladin, trying in vain to convince himself that he was real, that nothing was amiss.

In the end, though, it didn't work, Keith was smart, was bad with people but he _knew_ people, he observed them, their interactions, their reactions, their mannerisms, he was probably the first to realize that something was wrong besides Lance, thought he had the advantage of his gift.

The red paladin was probably lost, now, wondering if Shiro was still alive, if he was tortured, missing, or lost in the void that was the astral plane, they may never know, and it broke Lance's heart. Though Black seemed to think that everything would be okay, why? No idea, but he'd learnt not to question ten thousand year old mechanical beings, so for now, he'll trust on Black's intuition and hope that it brough forth some good news.

He had survived, again, he'd managed to get past the situation, it wasn't the ideal outcome, and he still mourned the loss of the people that had fought with courage, but everyone else was alive, the world continued to spin, the universe continued expanding, and he'd continue fighting to achieve the bright and happy future he knew awaited them in the end.

"Paladins, this is a message from princess Allura, gather on the med bay as soon as possible, Shi-....Kuron's pod is about to open, your presence is required, prince Lotor is welcome to join us if he so wishes, if he's in a good enough state, Lance may come too -hope you're okay, son-, see you in a tick." Coran's voice drifted off, the comms going silent again, and he was suddenly nervous, it wasnt like Kuron was going to try and kill them again or anything, he made sure to erase any trace of black, but when he woke up, how were they going to explain to him that he was a fake? He'll have all the original's memories, he would think he was the real deal, it would be heartbreaking to tell him the truth, even if he knew there was no escaping that.

"Well then, shall we go?" Lotor got up and walked to a small room, probably to put on his armor, Lance would do the same, but he was sore as hell and couldn't even move, he couldn't change clothes let alone get up, how the hell was he going to get to the med bay? A whirring sound made him turn towards the right, and the rest of Lotor's sisters entered the room, Ezor glomping them before being ushered away to put on her armor, she did so with a pout on her lips, muttering about _'sisters as affectionate as a pile of rocks'._

He giggled before he could stop himself, and the girls walked towards the bed he was in -he just took notice of how enormous it was, it could easily fit six people, and he realized that maybe it did, Lotor said they liked to sleep together- and seated themselves on the edge, watching him, and he was suddenly self conscious, wondering if he looked presentable, feeling like a guy who was being analyzed by the parents on the first date.

"Thank you." He startled, not expecting to hear Axca's voice, and he looked up, locking eyes with her. "I heard that you saved our idiot brother from dying, I'm...grateful for that." She quickly looked away, like the mere notion of showing her feelings troubled her.

"She's right, I would have loved to beat that guy to a pulp, but eh, you did a good job too." He supposed that was Zethrid's way of complimenting him, he would take what he got.

Narti approached him slowly and sat beside him, holding Kova towards him, and he happily obliged, petting the cat and enjoying her purrs, he nearly yelped, though, when a hand began petting him too, on the head, softly, nearly imperceptible, hesitant. He gazed back at Narti, and her hand stopped, he was confused for a tick before Ezor came back, cooing and giggling before explaining the situation to him.

"Awww, that's cute, -he glared at her- you know, since Narti can't speak, she usually shows her emotions with touch, if she's petting you, she's probably saying ' _I like you, thank you, it's okay'_ , she's basically showing you affection." He stared at the galran and she nodded, tilting her head in what he understood to be her way of asking for permission, and he nodded, giddy and happy, the caresses reminding him of his own sisters and cousins, who used to braid his hair and run their fingers through it when he decided to grow it out, it had reached his shoulder blades when he was thirteen, and he'd decided to cut it the next day on a whim, saying he'd look more handsome that way.

He squished the nostalgia, there wasn't time for that right now.

A while later, Lotor came out, full armor on, though his hair was still braided, the look fitting for him, giving him an air of royalty -which he was, he forgot sometimes- he approached Lance and handed him a long dressing gown like cloth, thought it was black and had a hoodie, it was more like a poncho, and the cloth was silky and soft, he rubbed his cheek on it.

"Put this on, it's cold outside, and I don't think you can put your armor on right now." He did just that, and then wondered just how he was gonna get down there, he asked Lotor and received a grin at the question.

"It's clear you are in no condition to overexert yourself, so I will be taking you there, if you don't mind." Well, he'd done way more embarrassing things in his life, he could take being princess carried through the castle for a while, the matter at hand was important, he needed to leave small troubles aside and focus.

"Sure, lift me up, prince charming." Lotor laughed, rough and loud, and carefully lifted him up, kinda effortlessly, if he was being honest, and began walking towards the elevator, his sisters waving them goodbye, saying they would be on stand-by if they needed them.

They walked in silence towards the med bay, the only sound around them being the prince's steps and his own breathing, which sounded way too loud in his opinion, but maybe it was just him. They rounded a corner when they came face to face with Pidge and Hunk, who yelped and tumbled back, glaring bloody murder before they caught sight of Lance.

"Lance, buddy!" His best friend walked up to him, intent on giving him a hug, before noticing that it was pretty much impossible, he settled by holding his hand tight and smiling at him, Pidge screeching and holding that hand too, her face worried but happy nonetheless.

"Dude, we were beginning to think you were toast! You were like sleeping beauty up there!" Pidge's voice was filled with energy, and she squeezed his hand once before letting go and walking ahead to meet with the others. " C'mon, let's go or Allura will skewer us!" He chuckled, but motioned for Lotor to go on.

"How are you feeling, man?" His best friend walked alongside him, tilting his head to watch him intently, as if searching for proof that he hurt or something.

"I'm fine, bruised, sore, my back kinda burns, but it's okay, I'll be up and about in no time." He grinned at Hunk and the other chuckled, closing his eyes before letting out a sigh.

"Lance, look, I don't mean to pry or anything, but.....your life was in danger and...Allura told us what you asked for....why would you not want to get into a pod? You've been there before." He didn't want to lie to Hunk, couldn't, after he promised no more secrets between them. But what was he supposed to say? He didn't know what the readings would say, he was a coward, terrified of what could happen if someone saw. Everytime he thought about going into a pod, a chill would run through him and a wave of nausea would overwhelm him, his mind filling with painful images, the word _monster_ ringing loud in his ears.

He opted to give Hunk a half truth, trying not to look guilty.

"I was.....I'm just scared, Hunk." And he left it at that, let his friend draw whatever conclusion he wanted, he couldn't do anything about it right now.

"Ahh, I get it, I'm sorry I asked, buddy, I understand." Hunk patted his forearm and joined Pidge, both getting lost into a conversation about engineering and machines, something Lance didn't really get. They walked for a while, trekking the hallways and chatting about random subjects, five minutes later, they rounded a corner and arrived at the meeting point, Keith, Allura and Coran waiting there for them, grave expressions making Lance gulp in apprehension.

Allura looked up and glanced at him, her eyes filled with sadness and grief, before addressing all of them. "Paladins, we are about to go inside this chamber where the clone, labeled as Kuron, has been sleeping since three days ago, due to his dangerous nature and how little we knew about the situation, we decided isolation was the best choice at the time." Everyone held their breath, waiting for her to continue.

"In the beginning, the idea of keeping him alive didn't even cross our minds, seeing as we thought him evil and corrupted. But it seems we were mistaken, Lance -he jumped- who had a previous experience with brainwashing, discovered that Kuron was being controlled by someone, thought this time it was slightly different from mind control." She pushed some buttons on the console and a few readings showed up, two screens displaying an identical image each.

"Mind control means that someone has played with your mind, crawling inside you with magic and making you do their bidding." Lance felt Lotor shudder at the mention of that awful ability. " For Kuron it was different, they poisoned his mind, filling it with ideas and thoughts not his own, they probably used poisons, drugs, hypnosis, magic, and anything they had available to make him submit, we confirmed this when we scanned his body." She pointed to the images above them.

"There were traces of drugs in his organism, though they were faded and barely detectable, and, as Lotor explained two days ago, the cloning technology is very specific, I don't have as much knowledge about it as I would like, but, it is true that, within a cloned body, only the same quintessence signature is able to be copied. In the past, trying to copy the mind data of someone into another's body, ended up...in disaster." Lance's eyes widened, trying to process so many info at once, in the end, it meant that Kuron was not evil, and maybe, just maybe, he would be okay, and he could help them find the real Shiro. It was wishful thinking, but, it was better than nothing.

"With that said, let's go in and see how he's doing, but keep your guard up, we don't know how he could react. Let's just hope he's understanding of the situation and is willing to cooperate, maybe he could even share some valuable information with us." Everyone nodded and the princess opened the doors to the lone area behind. His eyes automatically sought Keith, trying to see how the red paladin was doing, but reading him was impossible, his face was stoic and cold, not a trace of emotion left. It was obvious he was holding back, trying to keep a facade of indifference, willing to hold himself together, but the threads that kept him mended were thin and weak, snapping one by one until he would inevitably break.

He hoped it wouldn't come to that, maybe talking with Kuron may help, or it would make things worse, watching the person you want to see most, but knowing it's not him.

He looked up when Lotor walked in, the lights around them turning on, and the only active pod rising up in a cloud of smoke, the sound of engines sounding extremely loud in the quiet of the room. The pod beeped a tick later, and it's doors opened, everyone around him gasping and holding their breaths, waiting for the situation to unfold, Lotor's grip tightening while he gazed forward, eyes narrowing while trying to see behind the cloud of ice dust that came out.

A lone figure stepped towards them, slow and seemingly disoriented, stumbling and coughing, groaning here and there as it advanced without pause. Black whined on the back of his mind, and Blue made a questioning sound, a feeling like a tilting of her head reaching him, and he sent a question back, not understanding what it meant.

He forgot about that as soon as the silhouette defined and the dust vanished, his eyes grew impossibly wide, breath hitching, and he clutched at Lotor's forearm in a deathly grip, body trembling as he looked at the person who had come out of the darkness. His hair was long, down to his shoulders, a white stripe down one side, he had a small scar on his left eye, down to his brow until his ear, he had some sort of tattoo on his neck that he couldn't see, and his eyes....his eyes.....

He locked eyes with Lance, and he saw blue.

From his right he heard Hunk's intake of breath, slow and long as he usually did when trying not to panic, he looked back at Lance with disbelief and fear, his hands fiddling with his vest as he gaped, his mouth asking in a silent question _'how?'_. And he had a sudden flashback to the first time they found Shiro, when he saw exactly this same image, when he'd asked Hunk about his hair and eyes, his friend had put two and two together and realized this is what he saw back there, though what he'd do with that information, he didn't know.

Everyone was gaping, even Keith, no one knew how to react, too flabbergasted and shocked to do anything but stare and try to breathe and function like normal human beings. Eventually, though, it was Kuron who broke the silence, but his words just worked to unnerve them more, leaving them in a state of disbelief.

"Who are you?" His voice was slightly younger, the pitch a little higher, and it had a ring to it that said to Lance _'Not Shiro at all'_ clone or otherwise. He was glancing at everyone around the room, eyes hazy and clearly disoriented, and Lance didn't know what to think.

"W-where am I? What is going on?" he sounded panicked now, eyes darting around as if looking for something, hands reaching to his neck as if to hold something, only for his hands to come up empty. Kuron teared up and held his head in his hands, coughing a little as he struggled to breath, Lance knew he was close to having a panic attack, and would've done something to help him, but just then his eyes locked with Lance's once again and he stilled.

Kuron reached towards him, even with the distance, hand outstretched and expression hopeful. "Lance....Lance? W-what is happening? Were am I? Why.....?" He abruptly stopped, looking him up and down, from head to toe, then back to his face, and his expression fell, desperation shining in his eyes as he teared up, nearly sobbing.

"Why do you look so young? What's wrong with you? Who are these people? I don't...I can't....remember....why..?" He weeped softly, kneeling on the floor as everyone around him kept staring, he could see that Keith was shaking, eyes welling as he tried to understand the sight before him, Hunk and Pidge were talking with each other, holding onto the other as they whispered, Coran was just frowning and gaping openly, and Allura....Allura was frozen in shock, she wasn't even blinking, her fists clenched tight, knuckles white.

Kuron looked back up, his tear filled gaze never wavering from Lance, eyes filled with pain and confusion, begging him silently to do something. Why did he recognize Lance? Why didn't he know the others? Why had his appearance changed? Why was this happening?

"Please.....Lance.....help me."

What the fuck was going on?

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kuron's arc continues, who would've thought? ;)  
> Also, my chapters keep getting longer and longer everytime, why can't i make them shorter? I crave death.


	7. Journey

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After the shocking revelation that Kuron might not be what they thought, the paladins try to make sense of the situation, relying on whatever information they have to try and solve the puzzle that is this Shiro's existence and how he came to be, along the reason why he only recognizes Lance.
> 
> Meanwhile, Lance has to deal with Blue's whims and their effects, and he has to suffer from some strange flashbacks and feelings that do not belong to him as he tries to puzzle together what they mean, to no avail. 
> 
> Keith and Lotor's sisters, for their part, have a bonding moment and Lance learns more about his newfound sisters and what boundaries not to cross, while also reminding himself that appearances can be deceiving and not to judge a book by it's cover.
> 
> Afterwards, a strange phenomenon causes the blue paladin to make some difficult decisions that may come to bite him later, as he deals with an increasingly pushy Blue and a desperate Kuron, and he finds himself set on a journey that he never thought he would ever take.
> 
> What awaited wasn't anything he'd ever imagined.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So here we are, with another early update! I just couldn't wait any longer to post this, I know people are going to kill me for the cliffhanger -just you wait, next chapter will be worse- and for the lack of action and death. Next chapter is the one i like to call 'the chapter of answers' since most questions are solved, and some more arise, this one is transitional, leading to the second part of Kuron's arc, then the next is where shit is revealed, then the one after....you'll see.
> 
> Thank you so very much, as always, to every sweet commenter, every precious person that bookmarked, suscribed, left kudos, or just took the time to read, you guys are epic.
> 
> I know my chapters are long and maybe tedious to read, but i hope you guys enjoy the ride nonetheless, I love when people share their theories and conclusions and opinions, so remember, you can share your thoughts with me always, even if it's a keysmash :).
> 
> Stay beautiful.  
> Love, ULTI <3

* * *

 

He was frozen, eyes fixated on the kneeling, hunched form of the one he dubbed _'Kuron'_ (for the sake of his sanity), said man was shaking, sobs wracking his body as the tears cascaded down his cheeks, leaving a trail that shone under the castle's bright lights. Lance didn't know or understand what was happening, his mind wasn't able to comprehend the events that unfolded before him, but even so, _even so_... Kuron was crying, he was breaking into tiny little pieces right in front of him, his cries and hiccups echoing loudly in the room, seeming louder than they were because of the silence everyone was keeping.

And right then, in that moment, he didn't care who he was or what was happening, he just wanted to get up and hug him, comfort him, tell him everything would be okay. But his body wouldn't move and his vocal chords didn't want to produce any sound besides soft whimpers as he helplessly watched the other suffer, his wheezing and coughing as he wept making Lance tear up.

The team wasn't faring any better, Keith himself looked like he was about to cry too, Pidge and Hunk looked confused and a bit scared, while Coran's eyes were wide and incredulous, trying to piece together the puzzle before him to no avail. Moving his blurry gaze from his friends, he looked up at Lotor, and found him watching intently as the situation unfolded, his grip on Lance never wavering, a frown marring his features.

Just then, something snapped, and Lance, desperate to end Kuron's anguish, to make everyone stop staring and _do something_ , tugged onto the prince's braid, drawing his attention, and pleaded with him through his gaze to please, _please do something._

Through his ragged breathing and his teary gaze, hand holding tight onto the prince's soft hair, Lotor must have understood what he wanted to say. Because a tick later, he brushed Lance's tears away, smiling softly at him, and turned his head to gaze at Allura, who was frozen in place, hands covering her mouth and expression coated in doubt and horror.

"Princess, I think now would be agood time to try and take hold of the situation, our _guest_ is in distress, we cannot obtain any information this way." Lotor's words seemed to snap the princess out of her reverie and she flinched, straightening her posture and recovering her composure. She took a deep breath -Lance doing the same to try and calm himself- and let it out slowly, closing her eyes. Then, after a few ticks, she opened them, her usual determination shining through, her stance dignified and proper.

Just before she moved, though, Coran held her wrist softly, gaze worried. " Princess, is it safe to approach him like this? His arm..." He trailed off, parental instincts kicking in at the prospect of Allura being in possible peril.

"It is fine, we placed a signal inhibitor on his galran arm before setting him in the pod, it's completely offline and harmless, I assure you." She patted the hand holding her gently, and begrudgingly, but understanding, Coran released her. He still didn't look entirely at ease, but resigned himself to keep an eye out on things from a distance.

She left the others behind to walk ahead towards Kuron, who was so lost in his own pain that he didn't notice anything around him. Only when the princess kneeled down and touched his shoulder did he move, recoiling against the touch, eyes snapping open to stare at her, fearful, lost. There was mistrust in his gaze, but also hope, a tiny spark igniting when he saw how Allura glanced at him, soothing, welcoming, a helping hand.

"I am so sorry, you must be terribly confused right now." Kuron trembled, his hands clutching his chest so tight the shirt was ripping slightly. "My name is Allura, and I -she shook her head-...no, _we_ -she gestured to everyone behind her- want to help you, I'm sure you have many questions right now and that you feel lost and alone. We are the same, there are many things that we need to find out, but we can only do that with your help." She smiled at him, the air around her sad and the tension thick, she tilted her head and waited, never once getting up or moving from her position, intent to show Kuron that she meant no harm to him.

Meanwhile Lance tried to regain his bearings, willing himself to concentrate on anything that would take his mind off the situation at hand until he was ready to take it all in. It was just a tiny mistake -he'd later realize- that he decided to focus on auras, because he gazed at Kuron's first, saw the blue tides as they flowed endlessly on a loop around the other, saw as they molded and changed, stretching into a river that tried to flow into Lance's direction.

Startled, he tried to will it away, imagining some kind of barrier between the two of them, but the river was stubborn, it's currents getting stronger, pushing against his walls, intent on breaking them. He was low key panicking, when Blue's presence showed in his mindscape, her ice freezing his walls as they crumbled, leaving him vulnerable. He wanted to shout at her, to ask her why she did something like that, but she just whispered and breathed, ' _wait_ '.

With no other option, he did so, watching as the river calmed again, it's tiny riverbed diminishing slowly the closer it got to Lance, and then, a few ticks later, it reached him, and surprised Lance when it tenderly curled around him, forming a ring around his wrist like a small bracelet. Then, to his astonishment, his own aura flared up, the dark blue ocean flowing around, doing a twirl around the bracelet before stretching, wide and deep, reaching towards Kuron with a swift wave, the water cascading over him before it, too, formed a bracelet around the other's wrist.

A loud click-like sound reverberated through his mind, like a puzzle piece had fallen into place, like something had just been forged. And Blue sang, her voice dripping with happiness and glee, her form purring around them both as she curled, protective, calming, complete. She understood now, she knew, it was fine, she giggled, her voice fading as she whispered softly just one word, ' _Blue_ '.

He came back abruptly just in time to see Kuron relax suddenly, all the tension in his body draining as he slumped forward, being caught by the princess as she yelped, worried that the older man was still hurt or had some kind of ailment. Lance couldn't help but look down at his arm, and he wailed a little as he saw the blue light shining around his wrist, tiny whirlpools swirling inside, as if it was alive. It was warm where it touched his skin, and when he gazed at it he felt the same way that when he bathed in Blue's presence, calm, safe, loved.

He shook his head, coming back from his musings, intent on glaring down at the affronting object, but instead of relieving his sudden stress by glowering at the thing with all his might, he made a confused sound from the back of his throat when he noticed two others there. They were appearing slowly, but surely, forming just besides the blue bracelet, one was tiny and thin, it was colored lime green and had small leaves sprouting from random places, while the other was orange, a little wider, and had a rock like pattern inside that changed depending on the angle he looked from.

He became rigid, having a sudden epiphany, but he couldn't completely explain it, only the word ' _bonds_ ' repeated in his mind in an endless loop, he felt like he understood but at the same time _not_ , because why the hell would he be linked to Kuron? And why was Blue so happy? This had been a mistake, this whole ordeal had only worked to aggravate his headache.

He groaned and nuzzled his head on Lotor's shoulder, which made the prince look down at him with worry, he gently touched Lance's forehead and hummed in thought before he began moving towards the exit, right before he was out, though, the prince turned around and addressed the team.

"I think we should head towards the lounge, Lance is coming down with a slight fever, and being on the pod chambers is not helping his health." Lance should have argued, told him he was completely fine, but it would have been a lie, his headache was killing him, he was hot and cold at random intervals, and chills ran though his body occasionally, making him tremble. His back was also itchy and felt tender, and even with Lotor's gentle hold, every small movement he did tugged on the skin and made him squirm. He needed to lay down, and he needed it fast, it also didn't help his state that the whole situation with Kuron was unsolved, the worry and stress adding to his pain.

He blinked after a while, his vision blurry, and saw from the corner of his eye as Allura helped Kuron get up, holding his arm while she supported him, half carrying the older man as they took small steps towards the exit. The clone still looked distressed, and he was sniffing from time to time, but he wasn't sobbing in desperation anymore, and his blue eyes looked clearer, more aware of his surroundings, his gaze shifting from his friends to Lance periodically.

Lance saw all this, peeking from behind Lotor's shoulder, his head tilted so he could glance at his teammates, Pidge still looked upset, her eyes downcast as she whispered to Hunk, who was trying to comfort her, though he also looked confused and fidgety. Coran was helping the princess take care of Kuron, keeping an eye on things so the other wouldn't try anything funny while Allura kept her face neutral, mouth in a tight line as she walked, her steps never faltering, eyes fixated forward.

And then there was Keith, there was _always_ Keith.

He shifted his eyes a bit to the right, and there was the red paladin, steps uneven and irregular, he had his arms crossed, hugging himself, and a look in his eyes that talked of a sadness and despair so profound it wasn't possible to explain it with words.

He was looking at the floor as he walked, his eyelashes wet with unshed tears, and his lip was bleeding from when he'd chewed at it in anguish, he was pale beyond belief, and Lance felt his heart break when small whimpers left his lips, inaudible if you weren't listening intently, but the blue paladin was, and he had to hide in the crook of Lotor's neck to avoid tearing up again.

The prince nuzzled their foreheads together, trying to soothe him as he breathed heavily, and eventually, listening to the other's heartbeat and the rumbling that came from his chest, he managed to calm down, focus, and think about the situation. Though he didn't have long to do that, because when he opened his eyes next, they had arrived at the lounge, and the galran was carefully laying him down on one of the couches, face down, so he didn't upset his back.

Lotor brought some pillows and put them below his head, and he wiggled around a bit until he was comfortable, sighing in relief at the lack of motion, his spine and shoulders finally still, no more discomfort on that zone, for now at least.

"Are you doing fine, Lance?" The prince was seated by his side, close to his hips, and he looked down at him with a sad and worried smile, his cold hand resting on his forehead, making Lance hum. It felt nice, he was a bit warm, not enough to be troubling, but still uncomfortable.

"I'm fine, I usually get small fevers when I'm hurt, it's been happening since I was a child, nothing to worry about." He smiled at the other, hoping to reassure him, and he received a small grin for his efforts, the hand never leaving, choosing instead to brush his hair back in small motions, the gesture comforting and familiar in a way that only siblings knew how to do.

He was startled out of his small moment of bliss when a thud echoed around the room, the sound coming from where Kuron had plopped down onto the couch just before Lance, Allura seating herself to his right while the others scattered around the adjacent seats, looking at the clone with an eagerness that seemed to put him on edge.

The guy fidgeted then, his eyes darting around nervously, reaching again for something close to his neck, only to find nothing there, his hand falling to grip his tights instead, his gaze eventually falling on Lance.

"Excuse me." Kuron turned to face Allura, his expression troubled." Let's try from the beggining, yes?" He nodded slowly, his hair falling over his eyes as he hunched his shoulders, as if he was trying to make himself look smaller. "My name is princess Allura of Altea, may I know your name?" She tried to smile at him, but it came out pained, and he could see from where he was laying down just how much she was holding back, how much she was trying to keep her composure for everyone's sake, even if her suffering was clear as day.

Kuron clutched his hands together and seemed lost in thought, but after a minute he replied to her, his voice holding a small waver as he spoke.

"My name is....Shiro." Everyone kept silent, still looking closely at the clone, they already knew that he would believe he was the real one, so no one was surprised by his claim, but then, why didn't he remember the others? How did he know Lance ? Why did he look at him like he held all the answers?

"I see..." Allura seemed to think for a moment before questioning him again. " Do you know where you are? _Who_ we are? What do you remember?" Her tone got increasingly hysterical as she kept speaking, but she quickly calmed herself down and apologized, wondering if she was overwhelming him.

"No..no, it's fine I just...." He sighed, bowing his head. " My mind is messed up, I have, like, flashes of memories and events, but, everything is mixed up, some things are fading while others are becoming clearer and I just....I don't know." He shakily ran a hand through his hair, and Lance felt a bout of sympathy for him, he knew what it was like when your brain was tinkered with, when you weren't able to discern was was real and what was an illusion, what was past and what was present.

"That's fine, take your time, for now, just tell us what you remember, please." The princess gently rested her hand on his shoulder, and Kuron flinched back a little, but managed to relax, nodding once before taking a deep breath.

"Okay....my name is Shiro, I'm....I'm part of a...team? I Think? I don't know this place or who you are, but....- his eyes fixated on Lance- but I know _you_ , your appearance is...different, even though I wouldn't be able to describe exactly how I picture you in my mind -everything is blurry and hazy- but I know you're _Lance_ , and I know you're important." He startled at that, not sure how to respond, and everyone took a second to try and process what little info he'd shared, trying in vain to find an answer to the pile of questions that kept growing as the seconds ticked by.

"Well, this is a highly uncomfortable situation we found ourselves in." Coran twirled his mustache as he stood besides Allura, his eyes never once leaving Kuron, as if he was trying to pick him apart and find all the answers with his intense gaze alone.

Sadly, things didn't work like that.

"All right, I'm going to be sincere with you, and I hope you understand the circumstances that led us to this situation, it's going to be hard, but please, listen." The princess' voice was laced with pity, and she rested her hand on his shoulder once again, trying to show her support. Kuron only nodded, tense with anticipation and apprehension, his eyes betraying his fear of finding out some horrible truth, his jaw clenched as Allura spoke.

"Listen, right now, you may think you are Takashi Shirogane, but we think you _might_ _not_ be him, your existence was probably created by the druids of the galra empire, you are...you're suposed to be a ....clone of the original Shiro." Kuron's eyes widened and he gasped, horrified.

"They made you with the sole intention of infiltrating you into the heart of Voltron, to try and destroy us from the inside, although it didn't work in the end, we defeated you and the poison on your mind faded to the point were the healing pod was able to eliminate it completely from your system." She stopped and let out a shudder, her breath stuttering as she glanced at Kuron, intent on seeing his reaction. The other was frowning, _hard_ , he didn't look panicked or terrified anymore, instead, his eyebrows were pinched and his mouth was closed tight, his eyes focused on the floor, lost in his own thoughts.

From Lance's point of view, he could see his pupils, how he didn't blink even once, he was far away, lost in his own mind, he could see the gears turning as he searched through his memories for anything that was able to reveal the truth, his scowl growing bigger as the minutes ticked by.

"But, Allura, if he's supposed to be a clone...why the appearance? Why doesn't he remember anything? I thought the copies were supposed to be perfect?" Pidge, always inquisitive and willing to learn more, asked the question that everyone wanted an answer to, and the princess looked pensive before sighing, shaking her head before replying to the green paladin.

"I truly do not know, Pidge, clones are easy to make, I told you that, just take a genetical sample, and you have the same exact body right before you in a few vargas." Allura ran a hand though her long hair, the motions slow and purposeful, possibly trying to calm herself down.

"The difficult part was the copy and transfer of memories, a clone is a blank slate, there is nothing in them, they can't function without the proper data -that being the original's memories- everything that made them _them_ , their core." Pidge hummed in thought, and this time it was Hunk who followed up the conversation.

"But then, _how_ is Kuron working? He says he can't remember much, and that shouldn't be possible, right?" His best friend scratched his head in wonder, confusion clear on his features as he tried in vain to understand the problem at hand.

"That's right, clones can actually suffer from amnesia, yes, but their earliest memories, the ones from before they were created, are untouchable, impossible to forget. They physically cannot, since their mind is like a computer, the data copied there is engraved on their systems, it's the base of who they are, how they need to act, to feel, how to react in certain situations....without that data they would go offline immediately and just stop working, like a machine that lost it's power button, it wouldn't be able to start up." Lance didn't get it, well, he did, if Kuron was Shiro's clone, he should have his memories and act like him, he should look the same as him too, but everything was out of whack, wrong.

He could function without the necessary data, he knew Lance but not everyone else, he looked like Shiro but at the same time _not_ , it was confusing and nerve wracking, he just wanted to find out the truth and move on, but it wasn't possible at the moment.

"I might be wrong though -Allura said suddenly- there's still a lot of knowledge on cloning that evades me, since it was forbidden, I just learnt the facts that they taught at the academy, never interested on delving deeper than it was needed." She gazed sadly at her feet, their talking stopping for a while until a voice rang out throughout the room, it's pitch strong and decided, determination dripping from every word that was spoken.

"I'm _not_." Kuron said through grinded teeth. "I am not a clone, my mind is still a mess, but I know this, it's as true as the fact that we need oxygen to breath, I am nobody's clone, I'm _Shiro_ , and I need to _go back_." The way he spoke evoked surprised gasps and confused yelps as he got up and headed towards the large window, from where all the stars could be seen clearly.

"Please, I know you might be...uncertain with the situation at hand, but given your physical similarities and your name....it is true we don't have proof and no explanation seems to fit, but still...." Kuron turned around and glared at her, his eyes shining with desperation and resolution, so intense, that Lance had the feeling that nobody would be able to stop him, no matter how hard they tried.

"You just said so yourself, my appearance is similar but not identical, and then there's the fact that I know none of you, I am not _what_ or _who_ you think I am, and I need to go back, they're waiting, _he's_ waiting, I need to go, I need to find _them_." He began muttering to himself, ignoring the looks everyone was giving him, and Lance wondered just where he had to go back to, who was waiting for him, why had Blue been so happy when they connected, what it all meant.

"I need to go, I'm sure he's crying right now, he needs me." Kuron stilled, then tugged at his hair, eyes full of agony and a sadness so deep he couldn't even fathom it's reach.

"Why? Why is everything so muddled and distorted? I can make out snippets, small flashes of images, but nothing clear! And every time I think I grasped a tidbit of knowledge, it slips through my fingers, leaving me as empty as I was in the beginning! I can't follow a single thought, I don't even know who _'he'_ is!." The older man wailed, soft and pained, his eyes tearing up again as he paced around the room, biting his nails as he tried to even out his breathing.

It was obvious that this situation wasn't getting any clearer, and they weren't going to get any useful info from... _Shiro_ yet, so maybe, aiding him in his quest to _'return'_ would help him remember what was lost and shed some light into whatever the hell was happening.

"Allura -he seated up slowly, Lotor's hand helping him, resting lightly on his back- maybe we should listen to him, we have no idea what's going on, and I'm beginning to think the clone theory is less and less viable the more I think about it." The princess looked at him in surprise, her posture tense, she looked uncertain and quite unsettled. But they had no leads and no idea how to proceed, so with a nod of her head she turned and informed them that for now, they should focus on Kuron, trying to figure out who or what he was.

"Ku-....Shiro, what are you remembering? Could you try to explain? Maybe we could help you figure out some things." Lance tried to make his voice soft and understanding, calming in the same way his mother used to do, he needed the other to open up and that was not going to happen if he didn't calm down.

Shiro seemed to ponder about it, thumb bleeding slightly as he bit on it, his anxiety getting the best of him. Ultimately, though, he released a shaky breath and nodded, walking ahead to sit down just besides Lance, his eyes fixated on his face.

"Okay...o-okay...I can do this..." His gaze never once wavered from Lance, and he could see a deep trust swirling inside his eyes, ingrained in him, immovable. It frightened him to discover that he could know with such ease how the other was feeling, nevermind the fact that he seemed to want to rely on Lance without even knowing him, it was quite unsettling.

"If I close my eyes, I can see the color caramel, not brown, or honey, or hazel, but caramel, it's strange... that _that_ is the only word that seems to fit that color whenever it shows up in my mind." Shiro took a deep breath and continued.

"I can see long black hair and what look like red...markings? I can't really discern anything, or focus too much on the images, but....I have a feeling it's important." The older man ducked his head and frowned as if he was in pain, and Lance, sympathetic of his situation, and still very, very confused, put his hand on the other's back and ran small circles around, intent on soothing him as best as he could.

The grateful look he received as Kuron cradled his own head in his hands made something in his stomach tighten, suddenly feeling like he had to protect him, keep him out of harms way, no matter how ludicrous the thought was.

"I can see scars...some deep, some shallow, some still healing. I can see brown hair flowing with the wind, a smile as blinding as the sun.....a black armor with a symbol in it....I can....I...c-can...." Shiro grunted and moaned in pain, his robotic hand going up to massage his temples, as if trying to soothe a headache, but it seemed to be in vain, seeing as his wails grew louder, his grip on his forehead tightened, and his mouth was upturned, frowning as hard as it was humanly possible.

Lance continued to rub circles on the other's back, a worried expression on his face as he tried to make him feel better. "Hey, take it easy, if you force yourself to remember, it'll be worse." Or at least, that's what he always heard when someone got amnesia or a concussion, it was preferable to wait it out instead of forcing the mind to work, he didn't know if it was true though. Shiro just shook his head, making Lance frown, a troubled look crossing his face.

"No...no, I _have_ to....I'm so close to figure out something...I just need....." He didn't finish his sentence, it seemed that even he himself didn't know what was necessary, what he wanted, and Lance felt like he had to support him, because, for whatever reason, this Shiro thought he knew him, was relying on him, and regardless of who he was in the end, Lance wasn't capable of letting someone suffer if there was something he could do to help.

"Hey, it's okay -he moved his hand from Shiro's back to his forearm, caressing it gently-, take all the time you need, we'll still be here for you tomorrow, and the day after, there's no rush." Suddenly and without warning, Shiro's head snapped up, his eyes wide and mouth agape, he gasped and looked like he had an epiphany, hands clenching onto Lance's wrist on instinct.

Abruptly, Blue growled in the distance, her voice urgent but soft, and with a yelp, feeling like he got shocked by lightning, Lance lost awareness of himself, his mind spiraling away quickly, submerged in the depths of another's' psyche.

\--

_'Take all the time you need, we'll still be here when you come back, there's no need to rush.' A gentle hand caressed his face and he sighed in happiness. 'Good luck on your journey, hot stuff.' A sweet kiss on his cheek and then he was faceplaming, muttering 'Why me' loud enough for the other to hear him._

_' You don't need to be so dramatic, it's just a routine mission, I'm just going to be meeting with the rebels and gathering supplies, it's not even dangerous.' He tried to make his tone gentle, his hand moving to ruffle the other's hair, making him whine._

_'Stop it! -he giggled- I know it's just an standard mission, but you're going solo, and you know how much I hate it when we separate, last time we did, it ended in disaster.' His partner furrowed his brows, and before he knew it, he felt his own body move forward to plant a small kiss on the other's forehead, his arms sneaking around to hold his waist tightly._

_'I know, but we learnt from our mistakes, we've been getting better, you know he's trying his best-' He was stopped as a hand covered his mouth, and he glanced questioningly at his partner._

_'I didn't say I was blaming him, I know he's trying the hardest out of all of us, I just get really anxious when you're not by my side, I mean...your arm...' His friend trailed off, and he clicked his tongue, gripping the other's wrist softly to remove it from his mouth, he turned the hand around and gently pressed his lips to the back of his hand, then to his knuckles, smirking as the other let out a breathy sigh, his partner's hands traveling to hug his back._

_'That wasn't your fault and you know it, it was a dangerous situation, we had to choose, and he made the right call, we wouldn't have survived without him. I'm grateful for his quick thinking, I didn't mind losing an arm if that allowed me to be by your side, if this arm was the price to pay so we both could survive, then I would pay it a thousand times over.' He felt his partner's hug tighten, and saw as he stood on his tiptoes and closed the distance between both of them, sealing their lips with a searing kiss, full of love and care, tender and sweet and perfect._

_His companion leaned back a little, his expression one of mirth and total adoration, and then proceeded to gift him with the most beautiful smile he'd ever seen, so much so, that he felt his breath caught in his throat, his own smile blooming brightly on his face._

_'You're so romantic, be quick with that mission, will you? I'll miss you.' He touched foreheads with the other, breathing in deep before releasing a puff of air, wondering how he was so lucky as to have so many wonderful people in his life, he felt full to the brim with joy and warmth, it made him feel invincible. It felt like for those few seconds, he could forget about the situation they were in and just breathe, like nothing else mattered in that moment but the both of them and the feel of their lips as they pressed together._

_'Will do.' He smiled and slowly disentangled himself from the other, their hands still clasped together, fingers interlaced._

_'And remember, the rendezvous point is 55.378 XC 6.27AP, don't forget, yeah?' His look was chastising and he felt himself giggle, trying in vain not to laugh._

_'Sure thing, I have the coordinates saved on my arm, I won't forget -he grinned-, see you in a few days.' He felt a kiss on his cheek and a slap on his rear as he yelped._

_'Go get 'em tiger'._

_Everything faded to black with giggles echoing through his mind._

\--

When he came to, he was reclined on his right, leaning on something warm and soft, he pried his eyes open, head pounding and throat dry, and saw Lotor hovering besides him, concern on his face as he slowly cradled Lance's head so it didn't fall sideways. He blinked slowly, his movements delayed and sluggish, and shifted his gaze to the right to see Kuron in a similar situation. Surprisingly, though, it was Keith who was supporting him as the older man groaned in distress, clearly uncomfortable and in pain.

On the recesses of his mind, he heard Blue apologize, if she had had a physical body, he was sure she would have been blushing right about now in pure shame, if the feelings that transmitted to Lance were anything to go by. She sent him an apology accompanied with an image of Kuron crying, and then a brief flash of Lance's bracelets, he frowned and thought hard about what it could mean, and the only conclusion he got was that, through the bond that Blue had created (for some reason that she wouldn't reveal), he relived some of Kuron's memories that seemed to have been triggered by his comment before.

In that memory, though, he hadn't been able to see the other person's face, and no names were used, he also wasn't able to recognize the voice that talked with him, only the one that was obviously Kuron's. It was kind fo fuzzy and distorted as he tried to remember the flashback, but he was pretty sure they were talking about missions and coordinates, supplies and revels, so it was a conversation that must have happened while in space...

He gasped.

Abruptly, he felt himself blush to the tips of his ears as he recalled more clearly the intimacy Kuron seemed to have shared with this person, the kisses, the hugs and caresses.... _'Oh my god, this is so embarrassing.'_ , he felt like he had intruded on something private, something the other cherished and wasn't for outsiders to look at.

Though the information he obtained only worked to confuse him more, Shiro, _their_ Shiro, had never spoken of having a special someone in his life, always said he was single when asked, and Lance had been convinced he had a crush on Allura, saw him look at her starry eyed and in awe every time she fought the gladiator.

Maybe he'd judged him wrong, but he had no way of proving anything as of now, not with the real Shiro still missing, so he resigned himself to think more about it later, and tried to focus on the situation at hand.

And talking about hands, he just noticed someone's hand on his forehead, it felt cool against his skin and he sighed in content, suddenly realizing how fatigued he felt and how heavy his eyelids seemed to be, it was practically impossible to keep them open.

"What just happened?" Hunk sounded worried and near, as if he had left his seat to come close to Lance and asses the situation, he couldn't tell with his eyes closed. Allura's voice followed his friend's question, her voice shaky and dripping with concern.

"I....I have no idea, I sensed some kind of energy, the same that the lions emit, but...I cannot explain what occurred, only both of them can." He guessed she was pointing at him and Kuron, and he would have gladly relayed whatever information he knew to her and the others, but his wounds were burning with the strain of sitting upright, and he felt like he wouldn't be able to talk even if he tried.

"Princess, I think it would be wise for us to go back to my room and let Lance rest, he's in no condition to remain here any longer, I fear his state may deteriorate with the stress of the situation." Lotor's voice came from his right, and he felt his chest vibrate as he talked, he could hear his heart beating and his breaths as they left his lungs. It was relaxing, in a way, and he wanted nothing more that to heed his advice and go sleep for the next year, but he wouldn't do that until he knew what was going to happen with Kuron.

So, begrudgingly, he opened his eyes, the light hurting them and forcing him to close them halfway until he adjusted, his hands clutching onto the prince's cape thingy to have something to hold onto as he tried to find his balance. "It's okay, I'm fine." His voice was but a weak whisper, and he sounded like he swallowed sandpaper, but he stubbornly kept his gaze trailed forward towards Allura, trying to convey that he wasn't gonna leave until he knew what measures were going to be taken.

The princess opened her mouth to retort, but was interrupted by Kuron's voice, who sounded as wrecked and pained as Lance himself was, his flesh hand gripping tightly onto Keith's forearm as the red paladin tried to keep a neutral expression.

"I....I remembered something, I had some sort of....flashback...I think it was triggered by the phrase that ....Lance told me, _I have_ to get there, he's waiting for me, I know it, I have the coordinates to the rendezvous point.... _I need_ to go." His voice got increasingly firm the more he talked, his eyes filling with fire and a desire to _just reach out and hold onto that little scrap of a memory, so loving, so beautiful, that it brought tears to his eyes, made him feel complete, it was also his only connection to who he really was and what path he should follow. The desire to hear his voice again and hold him tight in his arms was tearing him apart, and the worst part was that he couldn't even remember his face, nor his name and he just wanted to know who he was and what was his purpose and-_

Lance whimpered, clamping his hands over his ears, as if he could block out Kuron's thoughts from reaching him that way. His mind reeled and he heaved a breath, coughs leaving his throat as pained sounds left his lips, why had Blue decided to connect them? What good did that do? It was invasive and unsettling and put him on edge, he had enough with his own problems to have to deal with another person's feelings and thoughts too.

Blue rumbled in apology again, but tried to convey that he would only connect with others sometimes, when the feelings were too intense. It wasn't what he wanted to hear, and she curled around him, purring, sending him the basic idea of _'You will understand soon'_ , he grumbled and decided to just deal with it and pray to god it didn't last long.

He got what he wanted when a few ticks later, the whispers coming from the other's mind fizzled out slowly, vanishing like mist and leaving a gaping hole in his mind that filled with nothing but silence. It felt strange, but the quietness was welcomed by his raging headache. He reclined against Lotor's side a bit more and heaved a sigh, rubbing his temples as he let his gaze wander around the room, finally settling on the princess.

Allura looked lost in thought, her eyes narrowed as she hummed, probably weighting the pros and cons of listening to Kuron and traveling to the coordinates he said he knew. She was merely being cautious, because she had no idea if he was lying or not and as a leader, she was responsible for everyone's well being, she couldn't allow herself to be careless.

Of course, Lance knew the other wasn't lying, had been in his shoes for the duration of the flashback, had felt in his own flesh the emotions and sensations that the other had felt, but he coud say nothing about that, this was a decision that his team would have to make for themselves, and Hunk seemed more than ready to share his input on the situation.

"Allura, I think we, maybe, should listen to him." The princess looked to his best friend, her expression doubtful and wary." I just got the feeling that we're missing something here, what with the whole clone theory that doesn't match with what we've got." He pointed to Kuron to prove his point.

"There is just too many incoherencies, maybe this location he says he knows could be important, we could get data out of it, or discover just what the deal is with him." From the yellow paladin's right, Pidge nodded, typing something on her tiny computer, making a few screens show up with graphics and some altean measurings that meant nothing to him.

"I agree with Hunk, it's obvious something fishy is going on, just look at this -she pointed at the holo screens- this is the data from when Kuron - the latter whined incomprehensibly- sorry, from when _Shiro_ was resting in the cryo pods, these algorithms show what was cured or treated while he was inside." She walked forward and touched the screens, some more text and images showing up before her.

"It says right _here_ , that they eliminated a great number of hazardous substances from his organism and healed some minor wounds. But in this screen _here_ , it's recorded that the pod found some kind of malfunction or glitch -something about quintessence- while the process was ongoing, and the pod followed the established protocol and tried to repair and erase said glitch. At the end of this report, it's labeled as 'successful'." Pidge pulled her glasses up her nose, looking at Kuron from the corner of her eye, and Lance mimicked her, his eyes falling over the other, noticing his pained look as everyone talked about things that concerned him, but he couldn't seem to understand.

Surprisingly, Keith was still hovering near the other, gripping his shoulder tight, and he hadn't bothered to remove Kuron's hand from where it was still clasped on his jacket, the wrinkles showing just how tight his fists were clenched.

"What I'm saying is...." The green paladin's voice brought him back to the present. "...that while the drugs may have messed with his mind...."She breathed in and out deeply " It doesn't explain the memory loss, since we already established clones can't do that to the level he's showing. “ Everyone nodded, inmersed on the green paladin's explanation.

“And I think there's a high possibility that his appearance may have been altered, because the algorithms and frequencies the pod compared to find out what protocol it had to follow, fit perfectly with data that the ship has, data about druid magic that Lotor gave us. So it's plausible that this might be how he really looks like, thus disproving the whole cloning thing." She finished her explanation and shut down the report on Kuron's condition, everyone around the room keeping silent while they pondered about the new information they had learnt.

Coran stepped forward and lay a hand on Allura's shoulder, his eyes kind. " Allura, I think we should try this out, we can prepare for the worst, and we have enough back up that if a battle or an ambush were to occur, we'd have no problem in defeating them." The princess looked back at her advisor, it was obvious she was still doubting but considering the idea at the same time. "We have no answers for this situation, and if we want to find intel about Shiro, this might be a good place to start looking, Pidge raised some valid points as well, there is much that escapes our knowledge about the cloning technology, we may be on the completely wrong path without knowing it." He smiled kindly, and the princess gave back a weak grin, trying in vain to appear strong when it was obvious she wanted to crumble under the pressure and stress of the unknown.

"That sounds feasible, we'll set course for the coordinates that you tell us -she looked Kuron right in the eye- while simultaneously researching our data banks for more reports on that technology, see if we can find anything to aid us in answering our questions." She stood up and made to leave, but not before she informed Kuron that the inhibitor on his wrist could only be taken off by her, and that if he tried anything he would be in trouble. She said so with a kind and understanding voice, but her tone indicated that she was serious and not in the mood for more surprises, which, fair. She had enough things to worry about as of now.

Just before she exited the room, Lance caught Allura's gaze resting on him, her face passing through a myriad of emotions before it settled into one of indifference again. She nodded at him and turned to continue his talk with Coran, both of them leaving to search their Altean databases for useful information.

Meanwhile, Pidge and Hunk looked at Kuron with wonder, their eyes pained but alight with curiosity, probably wondering if he was really a clone, what told him apart from a normal human and other biological and technical stuff that didn't really matter to Lance right now.

He knew that, whatever or whoever this Shiro was, he had feelings too, he cried and hurt and loved just like they did. At this point it didn't even matter to Lance if he was a clone or not, he just wanted to find out the truth and solve this whole mess, he wanted their Shiro back, like, yesterday.

He sighed and caught from the corner of his eye as Keith distanced himself a bit from Kuron, crossing his arms as his face set into a neutral expression. The other just hunched in on himself, hands gripping his tights as he let out a puff of air, one hand coming up to cradle his head, possibly nursing a headache as bad as the one Lance was experiencing.

He took pity on the poor guy and decided to lend him a hand. "Guys, I think you should show Ku-... _Shiro_ to his quarters or some spare room or something, he looks pretty tired." His teammates looked at him, hesitant and nervous before nodding and getting up, urging Kuron to do the same, and Lance thought he should go back to his room too, acting on his thoughts without thinking and getting up abruptly, completely forgetting just how much he hurt and how bad he felt. So it was no wonder his knees buckled and he nearly fell over, his friends yelping at the sight and shouting his name, which only made his head hurt worse, and he closed his eyes as he tumbled down, trying to find some kind of solace.

Thankfully, he was caught by strong arms, and he knew instinctively it was Lotor, the prince catching him with ease and carrying him bridal style, Lance's head resting on the crook of his neck. "I told you we should have gone back to the room so you could rest, you're really stubborn, aren't you?" He could hear the smile on the prince's voice, even though a layer of worry lay behind his calm exterior, and he opened his eyes halfway, grinning at Lotor before lolling his head to the other side to tell the other paladins that he was alright.

He was surprised to see that Kuron had been frozen in some kind of reaching out pose, like he'd tried to get to Lance and hold him before he could fall. From the look on the other's face, he was as shocked as him, and Kuron slowly brought his hands close to himself, clasping them tight as he averted his gaze, biting his lip while looking troubled.

"Jesus man, are you okay?" Hunk got close to him as he rested on Lotor's hold, his best friend's hand resting on his shoulder and rubbing small circles in a soothing manner. From behind, Pidge took some kind of alien magazine and began fanning him with it, which actually helped immensely with the nausea he hadn't realized he had.

"I'm okay, just....dizzy, lightheaded...kinda sleepy." He coughed once, and his eyes sought Keith for some reason, the red paladin was keeping his distance, a strained expression making his brow wrinkle. He was chewing on his lip, leg bouncing up and down, and his hands were twitching as if he was restraining himself from moving.

Lance didn't dare hope.

"I think it is time for you to take a nap, Lance, you're in no condition to stay here any longer, you're going to deteriorate if you do not rest so you can heal. Galran technology is not as effective as Altean one, so you need to take care of yourself so you can recover." Lotor looked down at him, his worry palpable in everything he did, from his words, to his movements, to the way his chest rumbled with the need to care for his newfound brother.

He hummed and nuzzled on his neck, no matter how much he wanted to keep tabs on Kuron and the situation in general, he wasn't going to get very far in the state he was in, so he slumped on the prince's embrace and decided to finally give in and just let the prince take care of him.

"Okay, sorry guys, but I think I'll be out of commission for a while." He tried to sound cheery, but he was so tired it was nearly impossible, he was really close to falling asleep.

"It's fine dude, you just focus on getting better, we'll keep an eye on things for you." Pidge always knew what to say to make him feel better, and he thanked her before blindly moving his closed fist around, giggling in joy when another fist found it's way onto his, knocking both of them together for a tick before leaving.

"I'll take your word on that, see you guys later." They wished him a good nights sleep -even thought it wasn't even midday- and he felt Lotor beginning to move, leaving the stifling atmosphere of the lounge behind to fall upon the cold corridors of the castleship, the only sound that reached his ears being the footsteps of the one carrying him and his breaths as they slowly left his lungs.

He felt like he'd just blinked for a tick before he was being lowered down onto a bed, his head resting on one of those sheep like pillows that he loved so much, and he mumbled in content before squeezing the hell out of it, barely feeling the soft touch of a cold hand on his forehead, warm arms around his middle and cradling his head, then he was out like a light.

\--

He woke up an undetermined amount of time later, and he assessed his aches and pains before he realized that he felt inmensely better than before. His headache was gone, and so was his nausea and general discomfort, as well as the light sensitivity and other issues. The only thing that remained was the tenderness of his back, and even that was dulled considerably, making moving around on the bed beareable.

He yawned and sat up, stretching as much as he could while being mindful of his injury. As soon as he moved, though, a pair of arms sneaked around his waist, and he found himself with a handful of -strangely enough- Narti, who nuzzled his waist and curled into herself, just like a cat would. And even thought she couldnt talk, her chest vibrated and a rumble echoed around them, the sound soft but undoubtedly there.

Lance still couldn't get over just how cute it was that galra could purr, every time someone of Lotor's family did so around him, it made warmth blossom in his chest, made him feel like he was a part of something, made him feel loved. He giggled when Narti burrowed more on his waist, her claws running softly along his spine, and he tried really hard not to laugh, the touch was soft and worked to relax him, but he was also really ticklish and squirmed a bit before settling down, his breath even.

A soft whirring sound alerted him that someone just entered the room, and he turned to catch sight of Lotor, in his more informal wear, walking slowly towards the bed and sitting down to his right, the mattress dipping with his weight. He looked Lance from head to toe, and he nodded like he was satisfied with something, then he beamed and gave him a wonderful smile that showed his teeth, eyes crinkling.

"Lance, brother, I'm so glad to see you awake." The prince raised his hand and tenderly brushed Lance's bangs out of his forehead, the look of pure joy never leaving his face. "How are you feeling? Does anything hurt?" Lance shook his head, grinning back at the other, and worried when the prince let out a breathy sigh, closing his eyes as he sagged in relief.

"What's wrong?" He reached out to hold Lotor's hand, eager to know what could've happened to make the galran look so worn out.

The prince just exhaled as he, too, shook his head. "It's nothing you have to concern yourself with. It's just...when we came back and you fell asleep, we noticed that you seemed to be in pain, and discovered that your temperature had risen past acceptable levels. It was detrimental to your recovery, and you needed as much rest as you could get to heal right, so we put you in an induced sleep." Lotor bit his lip and fidgeted a bit.

"You've been resting for three days -Lance yelped- so everyone was a bit worried about you." Well, that explained why he felt so much better, but still, three days is a long time, had they arrived at the coordinates while he was snoozing? Was Kuron still here? He needed answers.

"What happened while I was out?" His voice sounded scratchy and way too soft, proof that it hadn't been used as much as normal, and Lotor left to bring him a glass of water before recounting the events of the last few days.

"Nothing too important, I assure you. We are still on course to the coordinates that Shiro gave us, the princess determined that the location was safe since it's just an empty patch of space. And we've been traveling since, opting for normal travel speeds to save energy in the event that it's a trap or an ambush" He hummed in approval, it was the best course of action, even though he was a hundred percent sure that Kuron was telling the truth and no trap awaited them.

"Kolivan sent the two aliens that Ezor took with them to another refugee planet, since they were getting...antsy, I believe is the word. Your friends have been keeping an eye on Shiro, trying to _'cheer him up_ ', as you say. The small one, Pidge, has made known a multitude of times that she would like to tinker with his robotic arm, since she noticed it looked different from standard galran technology and Shiro's old prosthetic. Her exact words were, if I remember correctly, _'It's not purple, must not be galra'_ , I quote." Lance shaked with laugher, trying in vain to contain his giggles, it was a valid argument, honestly, he knew why Galra used purple for everything, but it still amused him to no end.

"She managed to uninstall all the galran modifications off of it, with Shiro's permission, and as soon as every upgrade was off, his arm had turned a soft blue shade, nearly aquamarine. Understandably, we were startled - even Shiro was, he jumped high at the sight-, but the green paladin just seemed more curious and eager to investigate and analyze that technology. She's been running scans and tests ever since." It wasn't strange, if he thought about it, Pidge always liked to understand the new tech they came in contact with, and Shiro's new arm wasn't an exception. If there was someone that could find any vital info hidden in that piece of ancient tech, it was, without a shadow of a doubt, Pidge.

"As for your other friend, Hunk, he's been helping the green paladin on her endeavor while trying to perfect his cooking abilities so you can have a more varied diet. Though I have to confess to you it's not needed, the yellow paladin is a prodigy when it comes to cuisine, he's managed to adapt all the recipes that I've given him and alter them so the dishes get close to what he wants them to taste like." He felt himself smile, he'd known Hunk ever since they were kids, and if there was one thing that he was when it came to cooking, it was a perfectionist.

He liked to experiment and innovate, but most of all, his friend loved the cheerful expressions people got as they ate something delicious, he once had told Lance that he cooked because he liked to make people happy, as that, in turn, made him happy.

Hunk was too good for this world, he couldn't wait to taste some of his new creations.

"The princess and her advisor have been busy, researching their data banks in search of more insight of how the clone technology worked in the past, though so far they have come with their hands empty." The prince got up and walked to the small kitchen, turning on a machine that looked quite similar to a coffee maker, he leaned on the wall before speaking once again.

"And as for the red paladin, well...-Lance held his breath- he's been hiding on the training room, isolating himself and refusing to speak with anyone. He still came to meetings and dinners, but left quickly and always stayed silent, he seemed pained every time Shiro tried to speak with him." Lance felt himself shudder as he tensed, feeling tremendously sorry for Keith, he had never wanted him to go through that kind of pain, even knowing that there had been no way to avoid it.

Just thinking of how alone and restless his teammate must feel, worried sick for his brother and not knowing what to do to move on...it broke his heart, and he bowed his head, shutting his eyes tight to keep the tears at bay . When he spoke, his voice was wavering with emotion, shaky and soft.

"It's....Shiro is to Keith what Ezor and the others are for you, brothers, family, maybe not by blood, but you know pretty well how little that matters." He peeked from behind his eyelashes to watch Lotor. " You know better than anyone how important family can be, and for someone like Keith, who's always been alone, it's something he cherishes. And for it to be taken away so many times...he must be heartbroken and lost..." He clutched the sheets between his fingers, his knuckles turning white with the pressure. Lance, too, understood the weight of family like no one else could, he missed his own, terribly so, but always tried his best to strive forward, keep moving on, _survive_ , if only so he could get to see his mother and siblings once again.

A soft hand brushed his own , the touch so fleeting he could have imagined it, and he watched as Lotor tilted his head, fondness in his every gesture and word.

"I know how much you worry about your companions, and they worry about you just as much, the bonds you share are something precious that I hope to protect in this war." The prince closed his eyes, a wishful tone carrying in his voice.

"While you were in slumber, all of them came to see you; the green paladin installed a device that would send your vitals to her personal computer so she could keep an eye on you and the yellow paladin shared stories with you and personally prepared the solution that was fed to you through the medical equipment. The princess and her advisor came to check on you numerous times, Allura asking for reports on your condition while Coran applied some skin care products and kept you healthy and clean." Lance was speechless, couldn't utter a word even if he tried.

"Even Shiro came to check on you, shy and wary and clearly uncomfortable as he was, he took your hand and kept you company until he felt the need to leave. Ezor and the others came too, of course -they sleep here after all- and they took turns to cuddle with you so you wouldn't feel lonely as you slept, today was Narti's turn." He looked down, still dazed by the things that Lotor was saying, his brain screaming at him that it was too good to be true. But the phantom feelings of hands clasping his own, soft touches and whispered words told him otherwise, told him he was cared for, he was missed, he was loved.

He couldn't have kept the grin off his face even if he tried.

"And of course, the red paladin came, too - he stilled, heart catching on his throat- he just strided here and demanded to know what we were doing and just how long you were going to stay unconscious. He reiterated various times that he still didn't trust us, and that you'd better wake up soon or we were going to be in trouble. " The prince chuckled as he seemed to remember the encounter.

"Then Ezor got mad that he insinuated that we would hurt you, and challenged him to a fight, Zethrid and Axca found it amusing and left to watch, they've been at it for a few hours now." Lance felt himself sweat at the prince's words, setting aside the fact that Keith had come see him - which made his stomach flutter for unknown reasons- he didn't want the girls to fight him, they were strong, and Keith never backed down from a challenge, always eager to take some action instead of staying still.

"Oh man, that's not good, we should go and stop them, I don't want them to hurt each other because of me." He frowned and tried not to sound as anxious as he felt, he understood, to some extent, why the red paladin was so mistrustful of the galran team, having his heart broken by this other Shiro left him doubting everything and anything surrounding him.

But he needed to comprehend that Lotor and his sisters only wanted to help, and were doing their best to adapt and be apart of their mismatched family. The prince and his generals risked their lives on a daily basis just like they did, faced the same danger and the same enemies, Lotor was fighting his own father, which, no matter how much he denied it, hurt him deeply.

So yeah, what happened to Keith and Shiro wasn't _fair_ , and it was understandable that he was filled with anger and frustration, but bottling it all up and then letting loose on the closest person he dislikes, well, it's counterproductive and would only make people distance themselves from him, _which_.....of course is something Keith actually admitted to doing, before.

He felt like facepalming for the thousand time, because that was exactly what the red paladin was doing, isolating himself, refusing to talk with anyone, picking fights with their allies.....He was trying to keep everyone at an arm's length, suppressing his feelings and being aloof and suspicious of anyone around him, so that, if things got awry again, he would spare himself the hurt, the heartache, and the loneliness that came with betrayal or death.

It wasn't healthy, and he hoped that Keith would talk to someone, _but_ the only person he had confided in had been Shiro, and right now, having a heart-to-heart with the black paladin was....impossible, pretty much. Still, Lance wasn't one to give up, and even if Keith wouldn't talk to him -since they were still fighting- he could at least try and drag the red paladin out of the pit of sorrow and loneliness he'd buried himself in.

He breathed steadily in and out and ran a hand through his -surpisingly- soft hair, god bless Coran and his caretaker side. Then he proceeded to move forward until he was on the edge of the bed, legs dangling, only stopping to glance back at Narti, who whined and snuggled on his back, her arms looped around his middle, it was pretty obvious she didn't want to let go. He raised an eyebrow at that, and tried in vain to keep the smile off his face.

"I am sorry about Narti -he turned to look at Lotor- she is really cuddly, and, while she cannot talk, she enjoys showing her affection through touch, it is a signal she trusts you." He cooed and patter her head, noticing for the first time the small cat like ears on the top, he inwardly squealed. " She's been really worried these past few days, told us that she was looking forward to know you better and learn more about you, she was also the one that put that earring on you." Lance hummed in thought for a tick until the words registered in his brain, and his hand shot to his ear to feel the piece of jewelry as it swayed softly with his movement.

"Oh god, oh dude, did she, like...pierce my ears?" He was lowkey panicked, not because he feared needles or didn' t like earrings or stuff, but because things made to him without his knowledge or permission made him a bit queasy. Lotor seemed to catch his mood very quickly and proceeded to explain the situation and apologize on Narti's behalf.

"No, no, of course not." The prince waved his hands around nervously. "It's just clasped together, we would never do something like this without your consent, Lance, Narti just wanted to have you _'connected'_ , linked to us, since the earring also works as a locating device, among other functions." Lance felt himself blush a little in shame, mostly because he'd judged their actions without the proper understanding, and also because they'd just been concerned for his safety and wanted to keep in contact, keep him _safe_.

It wasn't like he didn't want to wear the small trinket, it was beautiful, and every time he looked at Lotor and the others and saw their matching piece, it felt like he was a part of something bigger, it made him feel less lonely. He made sure to let the galran know his feelings about it, and reiterated various times that he didn't mind wearing it, as long as it was okay with them.

"It's more than okay, it would make all of us feel better. Knowing you are safe, no matter the distance, will be a huge relief for our sisters." Lotor smiled down at him, and Lance tried with all his might not to grin like an idiot, because he'd said _'our'_ , implying that they were his sister's now, too. And while he may not know the others well enough to dub them as part of his space family yet, and he missed his blood family more than words could convey, he was looking forward to learning more about the girls, maybe they could even have a girls night sometime to _'bond'_ and he could teach them about skin care and stuff. It would be awesome.

"Well - Lance beamed- let's go get our troublemakers, then, shall we?" Lotor's answering smile lit up his whole face and filled Lance with a warmth so deep he thought he would combust. It felt like the sun's rays caressing his face, like the soft touch of his sister's hands, the sand under his feet and on his toes.

It felt like belonging, it felt like _family_.

\--

Lance had dressed up in record time after that, and they were on their way to the training room while he chewed on a snack Lotor had given him -which tasted suspiciously like cucumber, but he would take what he could get- and talked about whatever topic blossomed between them. They had left Narti back on the room, still napping, but she'd nuzzled Lance's cheek before they departed as a goodbye, and his mood had improved exponentially.

He'd wanted to go back to his room and change, get his usual clothes and stuff, but Lotor had protested, even though Lance had told him that they had a fabricator in the castle, so he could create the exact same clothes he wore before the fight, which is when they got destroyed. The prince's argument had been that, if he wanted their sisters to listen to him, dressing in the traditional, everyday galran wear was the way to go, since watching him in clothes that implied that he was a part of their small family would hit their soft spot.

It was something about instincts, he said. So now here he was, going to the training room, dressed in purple, black and grey, which by the way, were so _not_ his colors- but if it would help keep the girls from maiming Keith, he was willing to try.

They reached their destination just as Lotor was finishing his explanation about galran mating and birth of their offspring, which he really wanted to forget as soon as possible, _please_. As soon as the door opened, he was ready to see fire, smoke, blood and destruction, while listening to the screams of rage and fury of one red paladin as the generals kicked his butt.

What he got, instead, was Ezor adjusting Keith's posture while she showed him some moves, explaining to him where to strike, with how much force and at what angle, adding facts about where it was best to use that one attack and the weak points to focus on. He felt his own eyes widen at the scene, his hand coming up to rub them and realize that, yes, that was happening, and no, it wasn't an illusion.

Acxa and Zethrid were a few feet to their right, adding their own input and tactics, correcting Keith when he made mistakes and teaching him how to do it right, working on his stances, his maneuvers, reflexes.....it wasn't what he was expecting, and he was glad for that. Because even from where he was standing, he could see the red paladin's face, and it was the most relaxed he'd seen him since their fight and the whole Shiro thing.

His brows were raised in amusement as he watched Acxa and Zethrid argue on something about Kova ( he wondered were the cat was, he missed her), his lips pulled on a tight line, but curling at the edges in the beginning of a small smile. His hands were clasped around his bayard, but his grip was no longer crushing and desperate, it was light and practical in a way that would let him adapt the hold to fit the situation at hand.

His body language had also changed drastically, he seemed more open, his posture relaxed and spine slightly bent, no longer tense and ready to snap at any given moment. A calm atmosphere was surrounding him, and Lance heard Red purr in delight at the thought that one of her paladins had finally reached some semblance of balance. She seemed to know that Keith's sadness over Shiro hadn't gone away, that was a given, but his quintessence, his _aura_ , had changed.

Lance focused his energy in his eyes, and watched with glee as the red paladin's aura burned softly around him, red and yellow and blue mixing together beautifully in a swirling mist of warmth and passion. It was no longer the sun or a supernova ready to explode, no, this time, small flames flickered near him, sizzling and cracking, the sound reminding Lance of the one the fire on the chimney of his house used to make when the wood would split.

The blaze was dancing in circles around Keith, small rings of fire flickering and bursting with intensity before becoming small again, eventually disappearing and leaving behind small embers and clouds of red dust, shining like glitter on the other's midnight hair.

He'd been so captivated by the display the red paladin's aura was exhibiting, that he startled and yelped when he got tackled by someone, instantly falling on his butt in a tangle of limbs and clothes.

"Lance! You're awake!" He looked up and came face to face with Ezor, her smile sincere and overtaking her whole face, widening even more when she caught the small earring on his ear and the clothes he was wearing. She chuckled lowly and clutched his hand in hers, squeezing softly before helping him get up, the touch on his back gentle and light, careful not to upset his scars (he didn't think they were considered wounds anymore).

"Yeah, I had a good nap, but I thought it was time to get back to work, you know?" He grinned, and Ezor returned it, closing the distance between them to crush him in a deathly embrace, her face close to his ear. She held him a bit tighter for a tick, and whispered -with a terrifyingly quiet and livid tone of voice- some words that only he could hear.

"Don't you dare do something like that _ever_ again -he shuddered- if you even think about using our bond to your advantage or to manipulate any of us so we'll listen to you once more...I'll make sure you regret it." She hissed softly when she finished, and he curled in on himself, it wasn't...he didn't.....he just didn't want any of them involved, didn't want them getting hurt, didn't want them to see what he was capable of doing because of his... _'gift'._

He let out a breathy sigh, his eyes dropping in shame.

Now he felt guilty, because he realized he'd done exactly what she said, he used the meaning of _family_ that she held so dear so she would listen to him, so he could go ahead and do what he needed to do without her interfering. He'd used her, took advantage of her feelings, and he felt like a terrible person because of it. _'It was for the greater good'_ was not an excuse that he could shield himself with forever, his actions were his own, and he needed to own up to his mistakes, he needed to apologize.

"Ezor....I'm sorr-" She silenced him with a weak headbutt, her smile back in place as her eyes shined with unshed tears, moist just like his own.

"None of that now. I was just so worried, you know? Just waiting there for you to come back, not knowing what was happening. And then Lotor left to search for you, and when he returned you were in bad shape, bleeding and barely breathing. I couldn't stop thinking that if I had listened to you and stayed put, if Lotor hadn't gone looking for you, you would have died, and it would have haunted me for as long as I lived, the guilt." Lance closed his eyes and tried to hold back the whimper that wanted to escape his lips.

He'd been selfish, he knew he was when he'd decided to take on Kuron alone, but.... _but_ , his family, his friends, their future, everything had been resting on his shoulders, the pressure threatening to crush him, and he did what he thought he needed to do to keep the people he loved and their smiles safe.

He sniffed and tried to smile for her, his hands clutching her waist in a vice, trying his best to remain composed. " I'm sorry Ezor, I didn't mean to hurt you, I just wanted to keep you all safe, and I thought that was the best way to do it..." He averted his gaze and looked at the floor, breath hitching and throat burning with an overwhelming need to sob.

"It's okay, as long as you don't do it again, I'll forgive you. I understand better than anyone the need to protect, be it friends or family, but Lance -she cupped his cheeks with her hands- if you'd asked, I would have helped you, we coud have teamed up and defeated him together." She bit her lip and brought him closer, cradling his head and running her fingers through his hair.

"It hurt because it felt like you didn't trust me, and I get it, we don't know each other that well yet, but at the time, in the desperate situation we were in, I believed that those nuances wouldn't matter, that those kinds of thoughts would be set aside to achieve victory." Her voice sounded pained and worn, and he realized that she'd been terrified. She had been the one that let him run after Kuron back then, she had to watch as he walked into danger while broken and bleeding, and she did it because he asked her to trust him, and she _did_.

"Just...next time something bad happens, ask for help, please, don't feel like you have to carry alone the weight of our lives, that's just....it's what brother used to do before he met you. I'm begging you, please don't follow in his footsteps, don't sacrifice your life for others,- she looked him dead in the eye- _live_." He furrowed his brow and nested his head on the crook of her neck, trying with all his might to hide his face. A few tears had managed to leave his eyes, and he was sure his nose was red and his lips were trembling, but the smile that blossomed on his face was big and sincere and relieved.

"I...I promise I will try, thanks.....s-.....s- _sister_." Ezor froze on his hold, and for a tick he thought he'd messed up, but then she squeezed the heck out of him and laughed, loud and carefree, her aura -which he just noticed- blooming with pink petals and sparkly blossoms, like a small garden thriving under the warmth of the sun, alive and bright.

"That's what I was talking about! See, that's a good way to use that name!" She let him go and he rubbed his eyes, wiling the tears away, watching as she turned on her heel and darted back to her sisters, her posture relaxed and expression no longer thight.

From the corner of his eye he thought he caught Keith looking his way, but as he turned, their eyes never met, and the red paladin continued with his exercises, ignoring his presence completely and focusing his attention on Ezor, while Axca and Zethrid walked ahead to meet with Lotor.

"I see he's awake." Acxa's tone was borderline monotone, and for some reason the way she talked made him shiver, goosebumps raising on the skin of his arms. It wasn't like she was disrespectful or anything when she talked, but she was too...reserved, distant, you could never tell what she was thinking, and that unnerved him.

"Indeed, you took good care of his wounds, sister, I'm grateful for that." Lance perked up at that, she'd been the one to bandage him up? She'd done an awesome job, then, his back was nearly healed now. " The aftercare was also really thoughtful of you, you cuddled him through his fever even when the warmth made you uncomfortable, I really appreciate your efforts, you know?" Lotor smiled, big and warm, and he could see Acxa's face, thought still impassive and neutral, redden slightly on the tip of her nose and cheekbones, a small purring sound escaping her lips before she clenched her mouth shut with a click.

She glanced in his direction and nodded, the motion barely noticeable, and he nodded back, trying for a grateful expression and hoping his message got across, he was really thankful for all the hard work she'd done, and he hoped she knew. He also reminded himself to not judge someone by appearances alone, because Axca's reactions told him a different story than her expressions, they told him she was shy, kind, and caring, but liked to keep that side of herself in private, her family the only witnesses to her softness.

"How's your back, kit?" Zethrid spoke suddenly, up in his personal space, her face a mixture of glee and wonder. She was the only one he hadn't spoken to yet, barely knew nothing about her besides the fact that she liked to destroy and fight, the nature of her race a battle driven one, their blood always burning for the excitement of a good combat.

"It's fine, actually, barely hurts anymore thanks to Acxa." Zethrid hummed softly and without warning turned him around and lifted his shirt, a yelp leaving his lips while he tried to keep his modesty intact and tug the galran cloth down.

"Don't move, I'm trying to see how the scars are doing." He stilled, more out of surprise than anything, and she unraveled the bandages and touched his skin, methodically and carefully, mapping his whole back before re applying the gauze and lowering the shirt to it's original place. "They're doing good, but I'll need to make some more ointment, a few more weeks applying it and the scars won't stand out as much." He raised and eyebrow and tried to come up with something to say, but his mind was not cooperating, so Lotor answered his unspoken question instead, looking like a proud older brother (Lance knew the look, he used it with his nephews often and his brothers used it on him all the time).

"Ah -the prince spoke up-, I forgot to mention this, but Zethrid is the one in charge of producing all of our medicines, ointments and the like. She's also the team medic, do not let her appearance fool you, she's a wonderful nurse, saved my life more times than I can count." That was...surprising, but not unbelievable, after all, the prince had few people he could trust, he had to have a way to take care of himself if the need arose, and who better than his own family?

The galran girl looked proud of herself, her chest puffing and teeth showing as she smirked, looking back at Lance. " Thank you then, Zethrid, I know the scars wil stay, but knowing they won't be as noticeable is relieving, I'm sure my back looks like a mess already." He chuckled, trying not to think too much about all the scars he was going to accumulate and what his mother would say when she looked at them. Those thoughts could wait to a later date, when they didn't have a potential fake Shiro with possible amnesia on their hands.

The galran girl opened her mouth to reply, but just then the comms came alive, Allura's voice filling the silence as everyone tensed, waiting for her announcement.

"Paladins and members of team Voltron, assemble on the control room immediately, we've reached the designated coordinates and a debriefing will be held to asses further action on the matter, please do not be late." The sound fizzled out and the comms turned off with a click, shrouding the room in silence once again. The princess hadn't sounded hurried or worried, so there was the possibility that nothing bad awaited them out there, but he'd noted a certain uneasiness in her tone, and that didn't bode well in any situation.

He looked to Lotor and the prince nodded his way, instructing his generals to go fetch Narti and meet him at the control room. The girls agreed and ran out of the room, Ezor stopping for a tick to peck Lance's cheek, a reminder to know that he was not alone, to not be reckless and ask for help if he needed it. He touched the spot, a gentle hum surrounding him, feeling in his bones the affection she gave him so willingly.

He straightened up and stared at Keith, the red paladin already walking towards the door, not sparing Lance even a glance, he was clutching his marmora blade tight in his palm, the dark purple of the knife contrasting strikingly with his pale skin. Lance sighed and shook his head, not wanting to go down that road right now, he would talk to Keith when everything was over, when Shiro, the real one, was back, he just had to be patient.

He whirled around and beckoned the prince to follow him, both of them striding quick to the control room where everyone was surely waiting for their arrival. They got there in record time, just as Kuron was opening the door, the man eyeing Lance for a second, whole body tense and clearly uncomfortable, before walking in, the prince and himself following suit.

The atmosphere inside the control room was stifling, everyone was gathered around Allura who stood on the controls of the ship, Kolivan and some of his men were to the left of the platform, talking between each other in whispers and murmurs, Keith standing a few feet to their right, talking with the princess in quiet tones, his brow furrowed slightly. To the right of the platform, Coran was tinkering with one of the panels, his face lighting up as soon as he saw Lance, a sweet smile being sent in his direction as the altean man nodded at him.

He tilted his head back, and felt himself smile in return, then noticed that the rest of the paladins plus Kuron were waiting for him close to where Coran was working, Hunk and Pidge both jumping and waving at him with smiles on their faces, looking really excited and relieved.

"Oh my god Lance!" His best friend tackled him, nearly sending him tumbling down, and crushed him in a tight hug, the warmth of the yellow paladin's body a comforting sensation he had really missed. "I was so worried dude! You were like, sleeping beauty, no way of waking you up! I'm so glad to see you're okay. How's your back? Any pain?" Hunk disentangled himself from him and proceeded to probe and poke every inch of his body, looking for any sings of bruises or wounds, humming in contentment when he found none.

"I'm fine, man, Lotor took good care of me, and my back is as good as new, sorry to have worried you." He was being sincere, and hoped his friend knew it, he really needed to find an alternative to the healing pods, because he didn't know how long he was going to be able to blame his distance from the technology on his fear of tight spaces.

Someday, someone was finally going to ignore his pleas and stuck him in a pod, and he'd be left to deal with the aftermath, he didn't even want to think what Allura would say, just imagining her expression filled him with dread. Would she compare him to _Zarkon_? Say he was a monster that sought immortality? Would she feel disgusted, knowing that the life he'd gathered was born from sacrifice? Would she doubt him, consider him a traitor, knowing that only druids -like Haggar- were able to attain such high levels of quintessence?

He didn't even want to entertain the idea of such a thing happening, he would do everything in his power to stop that, even if it meant learning to stitch wounds by himself, or how to heal with quintessence and the like. Desperate times called for desperate measures, and he was willing to do anything to avoid that scenario.

"Worried us?" Pidge's voice brought him back from his pit of self-doubt. "We were fricking terrified dude! When we got out of the pods and Coran told us that you refused to get into one, I nearly had a heart attack! I know you probably had your reasons, but _please_ -oh god, Pidge never begged, this was serious- don't do that again, don't throw yourself into danger alone, we are a team, yeah?" She looked up at him with teary eyes, and he wouldn't have been able to stop himself from striding forward and hugging the heck outta her even if he tried, squeezing her small frame between his arms, murmuring apologies and promises he wasn't sure he would be able to keep.

"Sorry Pidgey, I promise to do my best so I don't end up as the Disney princess in need of rescue again." She chuckled and hugged him back, stepping away a tick later to punch him on the arm, her grin bright and happy and spelling _'family', 'brother'_ without a shadow of a doubt.

"You better, next time you'll get more than a punch to the arm, you moron." She sniffed and smirked at him. Her aura, that up to now had been a dull green, nearly grey and staying close to her feet, barely moving, began flowing with renewed intensity, the beautiful vibrant electric green coming back full force, mirroring her joy and relief. He felt himself smile unconsciously, and from his left, Lotor chuckled softly, his eyes full of warmth as he glanced at Pidge, then at Lance, tilting his head in wonder, a mischievous look in his eyes.

"I wasn't aware that you already had a sister, Lance, it's nice to see you two getting along and _'bonding'_ , as the princess would say." He blushed to the tip of his ears and coughed, trying to hide his embarrassment, the green paladin doing the same a few feet before him, trying to hide behind Hunk, who's lips were stretched from ear to ear in a bright smile.

"I...I -Pidge stuttered- Nope, don't remember, didn't happen!" And that was all it took for Lance to burst out laughing, tears springing in his eyes as he tried in vain to breathe through the tremors raking his body. Contrary to popular belief, though, it was true he didn't remember the _'bonding moment'_ with Keith, he'd been so out of it and everything hurt so much, he'd been barely able to stay awake. He couldn't remember anything about that day, not the words he said, the actions he took, nor the expression on the red paladin's face as he smiled at him as they defeated Sendak.

For some reason, nobody had believed him, specially not Keith, and it became a thing of the past, some sort of inside joke that was used to lighten the mood, but it still stung -just a teeny tiny bit- that nobody had trusted his word, choosing to believe instead that he'd been lying.

Anyways, he brushed his tears of mirth aside and managed to stop his laugh, though small giggles still left his lips sometimes, and he caught from the corner of his eye as the prince smiled, seemingly happy that he'd brightened up a bit. Just as he finally composed himself, the doors opened, and the girls came striding in, positioning themselves around Lotor as he stood, dignified and tall to Lance's left, expression morphing into a serious one.

Then, a silence permeated the room, the atmosphere suddenly tense, and it made Lance fidget and sweat, it was like the calm before the storm, and he had a feeling the latter wasn't going to be a small drizzle, light and short, but was going to drown them with it's intensity instead .

"Now that everyone's gathered, I want you to please take a look at _that_." Allura's voice boomed throughout the room, and each of the present people turned to look at what she was pointing to.

What they saw made gasps and frightful yelps echo through the chamber, murmurs beginning to fill the otherwise silent area, Lance knew he should have looked away, but something was beckoning him to watch, to look deeper into what looked like a wormhole but he knew was _not_. He was mesmerized, completely captivated, it was as if a voice was speaking to him, right into his ear, but the words were lost in the inner turmoil of his mind, the meaning slipping though his fingers like mist, and still he couldn't pry his eyes away from the sight.

"What the hell is _that_?!" Hunk's voice was high pitched and slightly hysterical, his hand pointing at the purple colored black hole that stayed impassive before them, cackling electricity and thunder traveling around the edges, sparks sizzling like fireworks as they disappeared for a while, only to come back to life a few ticks later.

"We do not know." The princess' tone was drenched in worry, her expression tight as she clutched the controls." Coran ran some scans on this phenomenon, but so far, the only information we've gathered is that it's energy is similar to that of a wormhole and...." She hesitated for just a tick before continuing. "....and to the energy of the lions, of Voltron." Lance turned sharply to stare at her, trying to comprehend how that was possible, but it seemed Lotor had the answer to that question.

"But, Voltron was created from a piece of a meteorite that fell on Daibazaal ten thousand years ago, Alfor himself crafted the designs and built the lions with his bare hands." The prince held his chin with his hand, a thoughtful look overcoming his features. " I remember hearing that the energy the comet exuded was something out of this world, something powerful and dangerous. Do you think this has something to do with that?" He looked at Allura, and she seemed to think it over before shaking her head, looking frustrated.

"I do not know, aside from what you've said, I never knew much about how the lions came to be, if I'm being honest. It is possible that a piece of the comet may be on the other side, and it is what created this occurrence, but nothing is certain." She sighed and closed her eyes, tiredness present in her every move. " We have been trying to analyze and investigate this _'gate'_ , to call it something, for hours now, but the only thing we've managed to discover is that, to cross it, the lions are needed, since the algorithms of the gate are identical to those of Voltron." Lance scratched his head, confused about the situation, these were the coordinates that Kuron had given them, and he looked as bewildered as any of them, looking intently in the gate's direction, seemingly entranced by it.

Lance could relate.

"We need to investigate more before chosing our next course of action -Allura addressed all of them- I suggest staying on standby and ready to deploy if the situation needs it, for now, wait on the lounge for further instructions." Everyone nodded, and Lance watched as Kuron frowned, still transfixed by the rift, his eyes wide and seemingly not even blinking. He finally startled when Hunk called his name though, and moved to follow the others out of the room, Allura and Coran remaining to try and scan the gate for more data.

While trekking the hallways, Lance occupied himself watching his teammates, who were theorizing about why the rift might have come into existence, even Kolivan added some input, his engineer side not being able to hold back at the prospect of gaining knowledge (it's in their motto, they're insatiable when it comes to it). Lotor was murmuring softly, chatting with his sisters about Daibazaal and the comet, trying to see if he could remember something else from his childhood, something that could be useful.

He was on his way of getting lost in his thoughts when he saw from his periphery as Kuron staggered, shoulder leaning onto the metal wall to his left as he panted, breaths harsh and short, looking like he was in pain. His body moved before he realized what he was doing.

"Hey, Ku- Shiro, are you okay?" The other lifted his head slightly to look at him, clearly pained and uneasy. Lance heard as five pairs of footsteps stopped, most probably team Lotor, seeing as his comrades had been walking up ahead and probably hadn't heard the commotion.

"Yeah, I think...I..." Kuron hesitated, biting his lip before opening his mouth again. "I've been....having flachbacks, _Lance_." The way he said his name, full of longing, as if they'd been friends for along time, tugged at his heartstrings. He sounded so alone and afraid, surrounded by people who cared for him but at the same time _not_ , _because he wasn't the one, he wasn't real, wasn't him, his existence was based on another's life, another's actions, he didn't even know who he was supposed to be anymore, what he had to believe in, everything was confusing and it hurt and he just wanted to go_ _ **home**_ _._

And, okay, there goes another batch of unpredicted Kuron's thoughts. _Great_.

"I've been remembering things, from when you rescued me from that ice planet, and my time living in the castle, it's just small snippets and images, nothing too permanent, but, I suppose that's a good sign?" Lance wasn't so sure, he was still pretty in the dark about the whole cloning thing, and every time the word ' _clone_ ' was uttered, Blue growled in the distance, frustration and exasperation piling up, the feeling of wanting to blurt out something being nearly overwhelming.

But of course, she was a giant mechanical super old cat, so talking was out of the question, and she was left with having to resort to sending impressions and feelings and hoping for the best.

Sadly, Lance isn't the best translator around, so he's clueless about what she wants to convey.

Lance resorted to just nodding, going to try and help Kuron back up, but, as soon as his hand touched his shoulder, the connection that Blue had knitted between them flared up, and he felt himself gasp and freeze as images and words and sounds he'd never heard before assaulted his senses, leaving him breathless.

\--

_A beautiful planet being destroyed._

_The shrill scream of a woman's voice full of despair._

_The altean symbol, bright and burning._

_A blurred silhouette that seemed to be Pidge._

_A cry for revenge, sobs filling the silence._

_A flash of blue._

_Voltron._

_'I will never forgive you.'_

\--

He came to with a painful gasp, his lungs taking in all the air they could get, his right hand clutching at his chest while he coughed, shaken up and trying to compose himself long enough to figure out that the heck just happened.

A hand found it's way onto his back, running circles in a calming motion as he finally managed to relax his tense muscles and let out a long, shaky sigh, mind still reeling at the onslaught of emotions and blurry images he'd seen. He tried to piece together the pieces of the puzzle, but it was like a jigsaw that was missing a piece, there was some vital information that he wasn't getting, and he wouldn't be able to decipher was he saw until he got it.

He straightened up and grumbled under his breath, his head throbbing at the movement, and he found that the hand supporting him was the prince's, his expression tight and worried as he narrowed his eyes at Kuron, mistrust evident on his features. He followed Lotor's gaze and his eyes landed on Kuron, whose eyes were wide open, mouth slack in disbelief and confusion swirling in his eyes. He looked up at Lance and stuttered, whispering some words only for his ears to hear, so soft that if he hadn't been as close as he was, he would've missed them.

"I think....I think I know now why Black wouldn't let me pilot him." And Lance wanted to ask him a thousand questions, wanted to know _why_ his eyes lit up like he had a sudden revelation, wanted him to share whatever info he'd gathered out of his flashbacks. But just then, his expression hardened, filled with something akin to fierce determination and a desperation to just _return_ , and he'd gotten up in a flurry of movement, thanking Lance briefly for his concern before striding onwards, steps loud and steady, resolve present in his every move.

Something had changed, something _shifted_ , he could feel it, Blue rumbled.

\--

As soon as they had arrived to the room, Lotor and his sisters had taken hold of the long couch, and before he'd made a move to follow, Hunk had taken him aside for a tick, so quick and with such strenght that he hadn't been able to respond right away, the question he gave Lance one that he didn't think he could answer.

"Dude." He was whispering. " I've wanted to talk to you for a while now, but with everything going on and you being sick -I'm glad you're better by the way- it's been impossible. Did you know I nearly lost my shit when I saw Shiro come out of the crypod? I had a flashback of you on that ice planet asking me if he looked different, about his hair and eyes, it was wild." Lance breath hitched, and Hunk's eyes narrowed.

"You saw him like this, didn't you? That's why you were so freaked out, right?" Lance wanted to deny him, to tell him it was a mistake, but he couldn't find his breath.

"Lance, you're my best friend, I know when something's wrong, you've been really jittery and jumpy lately, I've seen the bags under your eyes and how you seem tired of everything around you. I just want to _help_ you. What are you hiding from me?" Hunk sounded hurt, and Lance felt like the worst person on space, but this wasn't the time to have this conversation, he wasn't ready.

"Hunk, I can't.....I can't explain what happened on that ice planet, or why it was only me that saw him like _this -_ that wasn't a lie- the image flickered so quickly that I thought I had allucinated it. None of you saw anything, so I came to the conclussion it had been an illusion or something caused by the cold."

"But why didn't you say anything? It was obvious it bothered you, maybe we could've found out earlier about Shiro." Lance shook his head, stubbornly telling himself his decision had been the best.

"It didn't seem important at the time, I really didn't think much of it. I was as surprised as you when I saw him, I thought I was going to faint." Hunk hugged him more tightly, expression somber.

" I really hope you would stop trying to solve everything by yourself, you're going to self destruct if you continue like this. Can't you share whatever secret you're keeping? You said no more lies." That was a soft spot for Lance and Hunk knew it, but with the Shiro problem and his apparent inhability to be sincere, his fear gripping his heart in a tight fist whenever he tried to tell him about his secret, he knew there was no way he was going to tell Hunk, not yet, at least.

"I _can't_ , Hunk, I'm sorry, but I _will_ , I will tell you everything, just....not now, I'm not....I can't, _yet_." Hunk narrowed his eyes even more if that was possible, and he sighed, loudly, resting his head against Lance's sideways.

"Okay, I get it, everyone is allowed to have secrets, I'm not about to push you when it clearly makes you so uncomfortable. But if it was something that endangered you or the team, you'd tell me, right?" Lance resisted the urge to look away and gulp, and nodded his head, eyes hurting from not blinking for so long.

His friend seemed satisfied at that for now, and he gave Lance a pat on the back before going towards the couch and sitting against Pidge. He followed after him feeling like he's just swallowed a ton of rocks, his guilt weighing him down as he tried his best to convince himself this was for the best.

It worked, but only just.

After that, they stayed on the lounge for about two hours, entertaining themselves with games and anything they could think about, trying to defuse the tense atmosphere that shrouded them. After Kuron had gone away before, Lotor had asked what had happened, but Lance honestly had no idea, if asked what he remembered of the flashback he shared with Kuron, he would say that it was fuzzy and out of focus, the sounds muffled beyond understanding to the point that he wasn't able to explain anything.

And even though back then he'd been able to watch the fragments of memories (he supposed they were memories) clearly and without trouble, the more time it passed, the more distorted they became, frustrating him to no end.

He'd just told the prince a white lie, that he'd felt something and felt frozen in place, and even thought he was sure Lotor hadn't bought it, he never said anything. He'd only made sure his health was in top form, Ezor hovering around like an anxious cat, only relaxing when her brother had deemed him healthy and completely fine, resuming their walk to the room they were currently resting in.

He was in the process of kicking Pidge's butt at words chains, Hunk cheering for him from the sidelines as Kolivan watched from the side, interested in a human tradition, Lotor smiling softly from one of the couches as his sisters crowded around Lance, excited to see him win.

He was about to deal the finishing blow, a word that she wouldn't be able to counter, the smirk blooming naturally on his face, stretching his lips as he opened his mouth, everyone around him vibrating with excitement. He began pronouncing the word when- the comms blared throughout the castle, the sound shrill and loud, piercing Lance's ears, Allura's voice coming in tired and kinda irritated, if he guessed right.

"Paladins, please assemble on the control room immediately, we have much to discuss." Allura was curt and her message short, it was obvious she was distressed and exasperated, so Lance wasted no time, he mouthed the word to Pidge -who screeched like a banshee in defeat- and grabbed his helmet, walking ahead while the rest of the team followed him.

As soon as they arrived, they saw a bunch of holo screens hovering in the air, each one displaying different data and algorithms, graphics, and a bunch of info that he honestly couldn't understand. They positioned themselves around the princess, and Lance watched as she sighed, running a hand through her hair in a tired manner, Coran typing endlessly on the keyboard to her right. She turned to face them as soon as they entered, and he straightened, ready to take on whatever the princess threw their way.

"Paladins, I have some good news, and some bad news." Everyone tensed at that, and he gulped, trying to stay positive even in the face of impeding doom."We've been running scans on the ' _gate_ ' while you waited, and we even sent a prove to inspect the phenomenon, trying to gather data about it." She sucked in a deep breath, shoulders hunching in on herself before she stood tall again.

"The good news is that the gate seems harmless, thought it exudes vast amounts of quintessence for an unknown reason. Still, the lions should be able to cross it, since their compositional strength far exceeds anything else in this universe." Lance hummed, waiting for the bad news that he knew they weren't going to like.

"The bad news is, of course, that we do not know were it leads, what's on the other side, or anything, really. Furthermore, the thermal readings that we did manage to analyze from the gate, have revealed that the temperatures from the other side may be well below zero, for your human standards, it's the kind of cold that freezes on the spot, meaning instant death." Aaaaand there was the part that no one wanted to hear, a gate that led you directly into the afterlife? Yeah, no, thanks.

Coran pipped up at that, explaining in more detail the situation. "Indeed, normally, it would be impossible to know what awaits beyond the gate, but the gelid atmosphere seems to be so intense that it has begun leaking past the opening, allowing our scans to get a read on it." The altean man scratched at his mustache, a frown sweeping over his features as he tapped his fingers on the console, clearly upset.

"Sadly, it means that traveling through is most dangerous, and we should think of another way before-"

"No."

Coran was cut off by Kuron, who was gazing at the gate with longing and a desperation so deep it twisted his features into something heartbreaking.

"I need to go, it's right _there_ , I can feel it, I remembered these coordinates, it has to mean _something_." His eyes shone with determination, and he clenched his fists tight. " I will go alone if I have to, I understand that you can't trust me, but this is my only chance, the answers I seek may very well be on the other side of that gate." Kuron bit his lip, and Lance watched as anguish took over his features, his eyes pleading for them to understand.

His emotions were so intense, that Lance got a taste of their intensity over their connection, a groan leaving his lips because he still couldn't understand why Blue decided it would be a good idea to link him to this -clearly- not Shiro.

He cradled his head in his hands, rubbing at his temples in an attempt to soothe the ache that Kuron's heart wrenching emotions brought, feeling a metaphorical giant bucket of pity and compassion fall all over him. His feelings were genuine, this was not a trap -at least not one that Kuron knew of- and he was distraught, feeling that if he left, he would never find his purpose in life, his answers, his place.

"I am afraid that is not possible, son, only the lions are able to cross this mass of quintessence and energy, and, as much as it pains me to say this, we cannot allow you to pilot the lions, there is still much we don't know about you and your circumstances." Coran looked apologetic, and his words only worked to make Kuron more worked up, eyes wide and expression wild.

"The information you want on _your_ Shiro may be on the other side! _He_ might be on the other side! Are you willing to let that chance just pass you by? At least send someone to investigate -he pleaded- even if it's not me, that way you won't risk all the lions and you'll get to learn what awaits beyond the opening." Kuron seemed to calm down as he came up with a back up plan, which was very good overall, they just needed to send someone and see what was up, then they could come back and report with what they knew.

If....they _could_ come back, that is.

The sudden thought filled him with apprehension, what if something deadly awaited them? What if they couldn't come back? They couldn't lose anyone else, Coran or Allura were out of the question, the princess was the only one capable of steering the ship, and her knowledge and link to the lions was essential, and he would never let Pidge or Hunk head knowingly into danger, no way in hell. That only left Keith and himself, and he knew the choice was made even before he'd began processing the thought, the red paladin was recklessness and fire, fierce with an intensity that threatened to burn everything around him.

Lance had an inkling that if he let him go, he'd never see him again, and that foreboding and dread piled on the pit of his stomach, weighing him down, and before he knew what he was doing, his mouth was opening and he spoke, his tone decisive and strong.

"I'll go." All the eyes on the room whirled around to land on him, and he pushed his anxiety at being the center of attention to the recesses of his mind, steeling himself and trying to find his resolve. From far away, he heard Blue come to him in a rush, whispering in his ear, her warmth a shocking contrast to the cold settling in his bones, and she told him it was the right choice, showed him images of ice and snow, Blue standing tall above it all, her figure pristine even while shrouded by the frigid air, a low growl sending vibrations throughout his body.

Some images followed, the other lions frozen in place, unable to move, even Red, with her fire burning bright, melting everything around her, could do nothing when her joints frosted and hardened, rendering her useless when the temperature had dropped past a level she could withstand (Red pouted at that thought, which he found hilarious). Lance 'ooooh'-ed in surprise, his eyes widening a bit before he smiled, nudging his girl with affection as she retreated back to her hangar, purring softly.

The princess' voice brought him out of his musings, tone soft but anxious. "Lance, I appreciate your offer, but we need to think long and hard about this, it could be very dangerous, it's a mission to unknown territory, I don't want to risk anyone needlessly." She averted her gaze to the ground, hands clenched together as she chewed on her lower lip, trying not to look Lance's way. He smiled, she was worried, for the team, for him, it made him feel fluffy inside, the fact that she was not allowing him to go because of her concern, rather than because she was still holding a grudge because of their last fight.

He heard his teammates protest from both his sides, and even Lotor got closer to him, his worried frown in plain sight, but right now he couldn't focus on them, he had to do this, he felt it in his bones, his whole being, something was _calling_.

"I know, princess, but I talked it out with Blue, she says that she's the only lion that would be able to endure the harsh temperatures that may be present on the other side. Only you and I can pilot Blue, and we can't risk you, you know this as well as I do, it's also better if I go alone, because risking more paladins would be detrimental, there is no reason to send more than one since it's just recon." He saw as Allura opened her mouth to argue, trying to find an argument to counter him with, her face coursing through various emotions before settling into a begrudging acceptance.

"I really do not want to do this, Lance, this whole situation unsettles me, but I know what you said it's true, there is no way the other lions could function as well as Blue on the cold, and risking the other lions or paladins is out of the question. Still, you could take someone with you-" He raised his hand to stop her, knowing fully well that the prince or his friends would jump at the opportunity, and he was not going to let that happen, he had his redos, he was more or less okay with....being in danger. But everyone else was a no-no, they had to stay here, were it was safe, that way he wouldn't be a mess of nerves when he departed, wondering what could go wrong and how to protect whoever came with him.

"No, I'll say this again, I think it's safer if I go alone, if something were to happen to me- " He heard Hunk whine and Pidge seethed his name, whereas Lotor gently laid a hand on his shoulder, showing his silent support and concern. "If something were to happen, you can pilot Blue until you guys find Shiro, it's the best course of action." He gave Allura a pointed look, daring her to refute his argument. She knew she couldn't. They couldn't risk Pidge and Hunk because they didn't have substitute paladins fro their lions, they couldn't risk Keith because he was the temporary leader, and they sure as hell couldn't risk Allura, the second last to her kind, the one that is connected to the lions' life forces.

All of that without taking into account that Blue was the only lion that wouldn't freeze to death on the other side.

It needed to be _him_. Blue purred in agreement.

"Look, we can't pass up this chance, there may be something really valuable on the other side, maybe Shiro, maybe data, maybe some secret of the Galra empire. This Shiro knew these coordinates, and I don't think it's a coincidence that the gate was right here, in this exact point on the quadrant." He pointed to the gate, and tried to put on his most determined expression. "I promise I'll be careful, princess, I won't put the mission in jeopardy or-" He was interrupted when Allura climbed down the stairs of the controls, striding up to him, face set in stone, hard and cold. And he was suddenly apprehensive, sweating nervously, wondering if she was going to roast him or punch him or give him the ' _I don't trust you yet'_ talk.

He closed his eyes and waited for the inevitable.

He gasped when she hugged him instead, soft and warm and smelling lightly of lilacs, her glow surrounding him and filling his heart with the joy only family could bring.

"Allura...?" She clutched him tighter for a tick, her long hair tickling his face.

"Please, please, be safe, keep in contact, I'll have Pidge install a device on your helmet so we never lose connection with you. Don't be reckless, don't do anything that seems too dangerous, if things look bleak, come back home immediately." Her voice was wrecked, so much emotion laced in her every word, that it had him stumbling to try and catch up.

"We won't hesitate to go after you if we think your life is in peril, I don't think I could stop Hunk, Pidge, Lotor and the others even if I tried, so you better take care of yourself." He laughed, the sound wet and small, nothing but a whisper, and he hugged back, for once joy filing his heart and his lungs as he breathed in deep.

She had said ' _come back home_ ', she considered him part of her home, she valued him, she didn't hate him. It was something he already knew, but hearing it from her made his anxiety vanish like mist.

"When you come back I....I want to talk to you, in private, if that's fine with you? We can have one of those _'girls night'_ you kept talking about." She stepped away from him, her eyes averted to the ground as she twisted the piece of cloth on her skirt, nervousness evident in her every action. He couldn't keep the grin off his face for dear life, he chuckled and held her hand in his, squeezing it softly before letting go.

She was trusting him with this, her worry and affection outweighed her feelings of doubt, she was giving him a chance to fix things, to show he was still the same as always, and she wanted to talk with him after. It felt like the bond he had unknowingly severed with Allura was slowly, but surely, rebuilding itself, and it made his departure easier to accept.

He was ready.

"Okay, so, I'm going to need your helmet for a tick." The green paladin held her hand out, waiting for him to comply, and he rolled his eyes, patience had never been Pidge's strong point.

"Yeah, yeah, here you go." He handed it to her and she ran to the back of the room with Hunk, who gazed worriedly at him before focusing on the task at hand. Allura nodded to him and walked up to Coran, still searching their database high and low for any data on cloning tech or anything similar. It looked like Kolivan wanted to speak with him, if the side look he was giving Lance were any indication, but Lotor started a conversation with the galran instead, giving Lance a thumbs up from an angle on his back that the marmoran leader couldn't see, his generals flocking around him with interest.

He couldn't help but snort, couldn't even fathom what it was that the intimidating marmoran wanted with him, but it looked like the prince knew, and decided to spare him the suffering by taking the bullet instead. He mock saluted for his sacrifice and turned around to find something to do while Pidge did her thing, staying still being impossible for him.

He came face to face with an angry looking red paladin rather than a source of entertainment, and he barely stopped himself rom flinching and yelping, gulping down the scream he'd been about to release.

"Ah.....hey Keith..." His voice sounded weak even to his own ears, and it was obvious both of them wanted to be anywhere but there, Lance always had trouble with expressing his feelings, but he knew the red paladin didn't fare any better, -if his last redo was anything to go by- and to be honest, it was getting ridiculous. When he came back, he was going to have to have a long, long talk with Keith, whenever he wanted to or not.

Said paladin was looking at him with a mixture of annoyance, frustration, and some other emotions he wasn't able to pinpoint, his arms crossed tight and mouth pulled into a frown. He seemed to be debating with himself, opening his mouth to say something before he closed it again, growling low on his throat and tapping his foot.

Lance tilted his head, wondering if he wanted something or just planned on staring at him like he was the source of all his troubles, which, wasn't that far off from the truth, but. The red paladin stepped forward, hands falling to his sides as he began speaking once again.

"Look, I-" A shout muted his words and echoed all throughout the room.

"I've got it! You're a genius, Hunk." He looked to where his friends were high fiving each other, beaming at whatever they had managed to create in the short span of time they had.

"You too, man, it was a good idea to add a restriction from outside sources." Hunk grinned at Pidge, and she punched his arm good naturedly, showing her teeth as she smirked, looking back to Lance who raised an eyebrow at their antics.

"It's done, dude. Your new, improved, Pidge certified helmet is finished." She ran up to him and threw the piece of armor at him, which he thankfully caught, a yelp leaving his lips as he glared at the green paladin in annoyance. She just rolled her eyes and walked forward, standing close to him, catching his left hand in hers and squeezing softly, looking up at him with an uneasy expression.

Hunk came from where he'd been sitting and looped an arm around his back, making Lance lean on him, feeling warm and safe and content like he did every time his best friend hugged him.

"Lance, look, we don't agree with what you're gonna do." He glanced at the girl that he thought of as a sister as she looked him in the eyes. "But we trust _you_ , and we know this is a unique opportunity to find some answers, just, please keep the connection going, okay? If you're in a pinch, ask for help or press the panic button, we'll go right away." Hunk nodded enthusiastically and Lance felt himself chuckle, their words making some of his doubt go away. Pidge looked determined to keep her word, and he could see from the corner of his eye that Hunk mirrored her expression, his hold on Lance tightening momentarily before they let him go.

"Okay then, I promise to be in contact every hour of the day except when I'm sleeping, and I promise to annoy you with every little thing I see until you get sick of me." He cackled with glee, laughing out loud when Pidge let out a groan, saying she had digged her own grave.

"That's all we ask for." Hunk's deadpan voice made him laugh harder, and soon both his friends were chuckling along with him, the atmosphere lighting up a little.

"We trust your capabilities, really, I know you can be sneaky and resourceful as hell when you want to, your focus so intense it can be scary, but I can't help but worry, you're my best friend, after all." Lance felt his heart swell when Hunk said he trusted him, both he and Pidge had faith that he could succeed, and they didn't want him to stay because they thought he was weak. They wanted him to stay because they _cared_ , and that was more than enough reason for him to go on with his decision, if he could keep them safe, he was willing to risk himself.

He smiled at them and fist bumped his friends, then quickly sobered up, gulping in a deep breath and letting it out slowly, steeling his resolve for this solo mission, hoping to find something about their missing leader on the other side.

"Okay guys, I'm gonna go pack and then I'll head to Blue, okay?" Everyone nodded, and Lotor's group came to say goodbye after he stepped out the door, cornering him without a chance to escape.

"Keep safe for me out there, will you?" Ezor smiled and hugged him for a tick, pressing a soft kiss to his cheek before she retreated.

"Don't be reckless and use your brain, it's there for a reason." Acxa, eloquent as always, nodded to him, showing concern in her own special way.

"Kick their ass, boy, kick them real hard for me." Zethrid smirked, full of teeth, and handed him a medical kit to keep on Blue for emergencies, showing him how to take care of his scars and other stuff. She then proceeded to hoist him in the air, wrapping him in a crushing embrace that left him breathless for a few minutes, before letting go.

Afterwards, Narti approached him, Kova sitting on her shoulder, and she reached for him, her hands touching his cheeks softly before she nuzzled her head on the crook of his neck, purring lightly as Kova mimicked her, doing the exact same thing on the other side of his neck. She walked away when she was finished, and he understood her message, _'Please come back, be okay, we'll wait for you'._

Finally, the prince himself stood before Lance, and he had the strange notion that he'd done something wrong, like he was standing before his older brother or one of his parents, the lecture being imminent, about to drench him like a summer drizzle.

Instead of a lecture or a talk about responsibility and safety, though, Lotor came forward, smiling softly, looping his arms around Lance's back, cradling his head in his hands.

"I know you'll do wonderfully, brother, and I'm sure that you'll be able to overcome whatever lies beyond that gate and emerge victorious. Just remember to be yourself, do things your way, and don't lose faith in what you believe." The prince moved away slightly, and brushed Lance's hair out of his forehead, pressing a soft, fleeting kiss to it before smiling wide and wild, his fangs showing as he beamed like a proud parent. "Now go, be great."

Lance took a deep breath and straightened, keeping at bay the moisture in his eyes as he nodded, thinking of his friend's smiles, their eagerness to help, to try and keep him safe. He recounted their touches, their affection towards him, the way their auras had veered in his direction, shrouding him in a rainbow of color and protection and _warmth_ , transmitting the message _'You can do it', 'We believe in you', 'We're so proud'._

And he felt his heart fill with all the memories and love he held for them, willing to do everything in his power to make his team proud.

He wouldn't fail his family.

\--

After he departed from Lotor's side, he ran all the way to his room (the new one, since all of his stuff was up there), packing all the things he thought he would need on his journey, from clothes, to hygiene and beauty stuff, to weapons and things to protect himself with. Lotor had informed him before leaving that a box with food and supplies had been prepared and was on Blue's hangar, so he had all that he needed to go.

But he was restless, wanted to take something personal with him, something to keep him calm when shit inevitably hit the fan, so he trekked to his old room, punched in the pass code, and walked in, the smell of dust and the plants he left there filling the air around him. He shook himself out of his stupor and walked to his desk, opening the drawer to take out a pendant, a blue gemstone that his mom had gifted him for his last birthday, the last one he'd been able to spend with all his relatives before he'd been shipped to the Garrison.

He clutched it tightly to his chest, closing his eyes and reciting a prayer, then he looped it around his neck and watched as the dim lights shone on it, making it spark colorfully like glitter. After making sure there was nothing else he needed, he took one last glance at his room, decorated with odd trinkets he'd been gathering on the planets they saved, most of them being mementos of their victory while others were a reminder of the times they had failed, to nor forget that loss and the frustration that came with knowing that sometimes, doing your best wasn't enough.

He gazed at the lights that Pidge had hung on his ceiling, twinkling softly as they changed color, and watched as the mug that Hunk had created released wispy tendrils of steam, being made to keep the drinks warm for long periods of time. He laughed when he caught the diagram that Coran had made for him, dangling from one of the lamps, explaining (in badly written english) were the bathrooms were, how to arrive to the control room, and how not to get lost in the castle.

Tilting his head, he smiled softly when he saw the neon pink nail polish that Allura had given him, saying that she didn't need it anymore, and he nearly teared up when he spotted the manual that Shiro had gifted him, saying that learning self-defense would be good for him, and it would make him feel better to know that Lance could keep himself safe.

He touched the earring dangling from his ear absentmindedly, recalling all his good memories and the soft moments he'd spent with everyone. He took in a deep breath and waved his room goodbye, turning around and running directly to Blue's hangar, his resolve beating in tandem with his heart as his lion nuzzled him softly, reassuring him, waiting eagerly for him.

As soon as he put feet on her area, Blue rumbled, and he felt himself smile wide, his shoulders relaxing in the presence that always managed to calm him down, and he basked in the comfortable feeling of her love, sending her a light teasing nudge, her chuckle echoing inside his head.

He was ready to go ahead and board Blue, her particle barrier pulsating softly, when a soft pressure found it's way on his shoulder, and he screamed so hard, that it reverberated thorough the room various times, his heart rabitting inside his ribcage as he whirled around, trying to calm himself.

He startled when he saw Kuron, expression guilty and sour, hand still hovering in the air from when he'd probably tapped his back, trying to gain his attention. The older man let his hand fall to his side as he shuddered, rubbing his forearms as his eyes traveled between Lance, Blue and the floor in a never-ending cycle.

"Shiro, what are you doing here? Come to say goodbye?" He tried for a teasing tone, wanting to lighten the mood, but the other kept staring, his brow furrowed and mouth upturned, resolve shining on his eyes as he spoke.

"No, I came to request that you take me with you." His eyes hardened as he spoke, squaring his shoulders and raising his chin, the very image of determination. Lance just stood there for a tick, trying to gauge what the other was feeling, but the strange bond they shared was unusually silent, and he frowned, ready to deny him.

"Sorry dude, but I can't do that, it's best if you stay here. Don't worry, I'll make sure to find out what's going on." He saw as Kuron's expression fell, anger piling up on top of his frustration, and he took one step towards Lance, his expression changing to one of desperation.

"No! You don't get it! I have to go! My brain is all scrambled and messed up, it's filled with images and feelings that I can't understand! It's barely been a few days since I woke up here, and it's already driving me crazy! I can't sleep, I can't eat, I feel like I'm surrounded by strangers and everything around me makes me uncomfortable!" Shiro took some shuddering breaths, whole body trembling as he begged with his eyes for Lance to heed his plea.

"Look, I feel for you, I really do, but my team trusted me with this, we were on really thin ice before this because of certain...choices that I made, if I take you with me without saying anything, if I break their trust again, what do you think will happen?" Kuron stilled, exhaling great puffs of air as he gazed to the floor.

"They will lose all faith in me, probably forever, they won't trust me ever again with anything. There's also the fact that we know nothing about you, nothing concrete, at least, and I'm not willing to risk this mission, or the team's well being because of this." Lance took a deep breath and tried to calm himself, he felt sorry for the other, and it saddened him that he wasn't able to help, but....

But Allura had given him a chance to regain her trust, she had tentatively reached her hand to him, their broken bond slowly forming a thin thread that united them again, if fleetingly, and he wasn't about to burn that thread so lightly, not when it meant so much to him.

"I understand, I really do, but _Lance_ -" The way he said his name was like it was his last hope, his last chance of salvation, the only thing he believed in, and it broke him inside a little."I-, I feel like I'm _dying_ every day that passes me by, I have this...tugging sensation that someone _needs_ me, like they are trying to haul me to the place where I should be, and that thread, that pulling, it's driving me towards the gate." Kuron's breath hitched and he walked forward, holding Lance's hands on his own, his grip tight and trembling.

"I will lie if I have to, I will tell the team after we cross that I forced you, knocked you out or...or...threatened you with a weapon, I don't care if they hate me or label me as evil. From all the things that I've seen and the people I've met since I woke up....Lance, you are the only thing that felt familiar, you're the only one that can help me." His grip tightened and he rested his forehead against Lance's shoulder, Kuron's long fringe tickling his neck as he shook.

"Please, please, I'm not beyond begging at this point. Help me, Lance." And that....the way he called for him, his name being uttered in such despair and with so much anguish in every vowel....Lance was about to break, to give in, to hold him and say that it would be okay, that he would give him a hand, make everything better.

But he held on strong in the end, flashes of his friends' disappointed faces passing before his eyes, and he shook his head, began taking his hands out of Kuron's grip, feeling like he was about to cry. He opened his mouth to deny him, break his heart permanently and crush all his hope, no matter how much it hurt both of them.....or at least, that was what he planned on doing before Blue's metal paws moved behind him and she nudged him forward.

It felt like an actual shove, like she was mad at him, and he whined incredulously and actually kinda hurt, turning around to see her particle barrier had dropped down and she was crouched on all fours, her maw wide open to board. He made an ugly sound from the back of his throat and stared at her, not comprehending what the hell she was doing.

Then, as if hearing his thoughts -she probably had- she nudged him again, this time on his mind, and pushed him with such force he yelped, falling towards and abyss of swirling emotions and crushing realities. Blue sent images and sounds onto his mind, too fast and too distorted to make up everything she was trying to say; an image of Kuron crying, the gate, Blue herself, a shadow of a blurry smile, a scream for help, a whimper, a sob, a growl, a roar.

It echoed inside him as his lion howled with all her might, her voice screaming to _help_ , to _give_ , to _understand_ , to _risk_ , to _listen_ , to make things _right_. And he came back to his own body with a start, eyes wide as he tried to breathe though the turmoil that still danced back and forth on his mind, a hand clutching his head while the other held onto Kuron, trembling.

He looked up towards Blue, still in the same position, and he wanted to be angry, to frown at her in disappointment, to feel betrayed and hurt from what she was asking him to do. But her quintessence was wrapped around him like a blanket, feeling like care, and faith and acceptance and love, so much love, he knew he could never be furious with her.

Slowly, he looked back at Kuron, still trembling lightly on his arms, and he brought a hand to carefully brush his hair back, stroking his fingers though the long strands in a soothing motion his brother used to do when he was upset. He sighed and tapped the other on the shoulder, urging him to look up.

"Okay, I'll help -Kuron startled and looked at Lance with stars in his eyes, he forgot they were blue- mostly because Blue here was being pushy and nearly fried my brain, but also because I wanted to, even knowing that I shouldn't." He bit his lip and let go of the older man, walking backwards towards the ramp that led to his lion's interior. " Follow me." He whirled around and picked up the rations and his belongings as he trekked to the cockpit, anxiety boiling hot in his stomach at the thought of what he was about to do.

But he'd never doubted Blue, she'd never do anything that would endanger him, the lions were old and magical, beyond human or alien understanding, they had seen and felt and experienced more than any of them could ever dream to imagine. So if she was beckoning him to take Kuron along, if she had bothered to bond them, if Kuron knew Lance and only him, it was obvious there had to be a reason.

Something only the lions or Blue knew, something that would possibly give them the answers they were so desperately seeking. So with a guilt and resolve both heavy in his core, he took seat on the cockpit, Kuron sitting behind him in a chair that Blue brought forth as he gripped the controls with too much force, his lion trying to tell him to relax, it'll be fine, believe in me.

And he did, unconditionally, always. So he looked straight ahead and took off, flying from the castle and steering onwards, to where the gate was situated. He'd left all his rations and other stuff on the back, where he'll organize it later, and when he was far enough from the ship, he opened up his comms, sound only, and waited for the voices of his friends to come though.

"Pidge to Lance, Pidge to Lance, coming through?" He chuckled softly and motioned for Kuron to be silent, to wich the other nodded.

"Yep, Baby Blue hears you loud and clear, Pidgeon." From the other end of the line he heard an exasperated huff and some laughter, a shuffling sound coming in before his best friend spoke.

"Are you giving us code names now?" Hunk's voice was half anxious nerves -probably from worry- and half amusement, and Lance couldn't help but try and make his anxiety dissipate, even if it was just a little. He appreciated the worry, but didn't want his teammate to get an ulcer or stomach ache because of him, so lightening the mood was it.

"Sure I do, man, you'd be Sweetcakes, Allura would be Goddess, Coran....he'd absolutely be Gorgeous Man, Kolivan would be something like, Purple Furry or something - he heard a boisterous laugh and a growl and thanked god that he wasn't there to witness the galran's rage- Keith -he faltered for a tick- he'd be just Red, unoriginal, but it works. Lotor gets to be something cool, like, Quick Silver, and the girls can be the Dynamite Squad." He heard the unmistakably sound of Lotor's laugh, loud and heartwarming, the girls' shouts overlapping the sound faintly to cries of 'hell yeah we are' and some giggles in between.

"Okay, enough joking around." Allura brough them back to the reality of the situation, her voice serious and grave like it always was while on missions. " There's still something we haven't talked about, something of vital importance - _he could feel the tension lingering in the air, so thick it was suffocating_ \- what would be Shiro's codename?" He deflated like a balloon and actually kinda fell of his chair, disbelieving sounds coming though the comms as he roared with laughter, not being able to breathe.

"Oh god, jesus, Allura don't do that, the whiplash nearly killed me -he talked in between giggles- but he would totally be something like, Hero or Dad, Space Dad, yeah." He heard Allura's small giggles as everyone that knew Shiro totally agreed that he'd be Space Dad, that it fit, and after the consensus over names was over -Pidge still wanting to modify hers- they went back to the situation at hand.

"How are you doing, Lance? Anything to report?" The princess asked, voice going back to her businesslike tone.

"Nothing, I'm just flying towards the gate, I'm on course and I can't detect any anomaly in Blue, at least, not yet." She hummed in thought and he focused on steering his lion, listening to her adoring purrs as she reiterated again and again how proud she was of him and how he would soon understand. He just clicked his tongue and sent her an impatient nudge, her response being a chastising thought of _patience_.

As they neared the gate, he could see more clearly the golden threads of lighting crackling and sizzling around, a sound like thunder and sparks getting in through Blue, proof of how strong they were. He noticed, the closer they got, that the gate was actually quite small, just big enough to fit his lion, and that was just barely. It had looked bigger than it was because of all the disturbances and phenomenons happening around it's edges.

He relayed this to Allura, who hummed in thought before answering. "I see, so even if we'd wanted to go with Voltron, it would have been impossible."

"Yep, I can pass though with Blue, because, you know, The Tailor -a collective groan through his helmet- but I doubt Black could pass, or Yellow, maybe Red or Green, but with all this stuff happening around it, who knows what could happen." An intake of breath told him that was the wrong thing to say.

"Dude, if you think it's too dangerous, turn back, like, _now_." Hunk urged him, sounding scared.

"Nah man, I'm already here anyway, and Blue's systems are still in top form, nothing seems wrong." And it was true, he was in close proximity, and even though some screens fizzled out a bit, nothing was amiss, so he powered forward until he was nearly touching the purple energy that swirled in the center of the gate, the color reminding him of the Galra.

"Okay, I'm going to go through, I'll turn off communication temporarily, because I don't want it to fry when I cross, I doubt it will happen, but just to be safe." Everyone on the castle agreed, albeit begrudgingly, and he said a 'See you later' before cutting them off, turning towards Kuron, an eyebrow raised at the frantic expression on the other's face.

"Are you ready?" Lance tried to sound reassuring, but it fell on deaf ears, the other way too strung up to notice his effort.

"Yeah, yeah...I....I'm sorry you had to lie, I....thank you for helping me, Lance." He bowed his head, a gesture of gratitude and regret, before siting back up, gripping the armrest for dear life. Lance turned to look ahead again, taking a deep breath.

"Well, here goes nothing." He pushed forward and gasped at the feeling of passing though a thin layer of jelly, whole body tingling as pinpricks of electricity ran though him. He groaned as the metal of Blue creaked and the cabin shook, a loud booming noise echoing around, deafening in it's intensity, and he barely had time to mumble 'What the f-' before everything faded.

\--

He woke up to a very dark cockpit, an intense headache, and Blue's rumbles vibrating around him. He tried to asses the damage, but with the power off it was almost impossible, so he sent the intent of a question to his lion, and with a slightly delayed purr, she powered on, the lights blinding him momentarily as he blinked.

A groan from his back told him that Kuron wasn't faring any better, but he focused on checking all of the systems, looking for anomalies or errors, and he sighed in relief when he found nothing. He shivered suddenly, and sneezed loudly, startling Kuron awake, who gasped and groaned, muttering about feeling like he had a hangover.

Relatable.

It looked like the cold from whenever they were was seeping in slowly, and even though Lance and Blue both thrived in those kinds of environments, his guest was probably used to higher temperatures, so he switched on the heating system and left his chair, intent on looking outside and see what awaited them.

Looking through Blue's eye window, he could only see white, which unsettled him, it was just white as far as the eye could see, and no matter the angle, there was nothing else in sight. He frowned and pinched the bridge of his nose, trying to think, after a minute he gave up and just turned on the front screen, gaping at what he saw.

It was still white, yeah, but he knew what it was now, it was snow, it was snowing on this planet or whenever they were, small snowflakes falling endlessly from the greenish sky, piling up and covering any semblance of land in a white, infinte blanket. He could see a few rock formations here and there, some plants trying to survive in the harsh temperatures, and some, most probably alien ones, flourishing as they absorbed the cold, looking like ice sculptures, trees shining like crystal as they reflected the light.

He could feel himself smiling even in the situation he was in, he always found enjoyment and reprieve in the beauty of nature, there was something soothing about knowing that life always found a way to prosper, even in the direst of circumstances. He wondered what his friends would say if they saw this landscape, and then paled when he remembered his comms were still off, tripping over himself in a hurry to turn them on, his helmet synching with the lion's transmitter and making a screen pop up immediately after.

"LANCE!!" The first thing he heard was his name shouted by a set of different voices, all of them belonging to the people he cared about. They were all hunched together, anxiously talking and screaming and wow it looked like they were about to set something on fire or scream 'Rebellion', 'Anarchy' or something, everyone looked on edge, thought they calmed exponentially when his face showed up.

He was going to say something witty and funny, something to break the ice (ha, because ice planet, yeah?) but his friend's chatter stopped abruptly, their faces twisted in confusion and suspicion, looking at him. Or, _not_....they were looking past him, right towards.....Kuron, who looked terrified and guilty. He wanted to punch himself, in his haste, he forgot to put on the sound only comms, or more like, he even forgot the other was there, and now he was in for it.

"Lance, what.....what is Shiro doing in there with you?" Allura, looking dubious and mildly disappointed, was trying to give him a chance to explain himself, wich was an improvement from their last butting of heads, and he was hesitating between lying -not a good idea- and telling them most of the truth. He choose the latter.

"Weeell....you see, when I came to Blue's hangar, this guy was waiting for me, asking me to come with, his arguments were pretty convincing and solid, but in the end, I still said no." Everyone on the other end of the line gave a sigh of relief, and he felt the little sting of their wavering trust, but knew he had brought this on himself when he gave in.

"But Big Blue here had other ideas, she wouldn't let me pilot her unless Shiro was with me - a sound of disbelief and gasps- she said something about, making things right and going back or something, but it was all too jumbled up for me to understand." Allura looked thoughtful, her chin resting on her hand, and she nodded, seemingly arriving to a conclusion.

"I see, it may be possible that Blue felt something we didn't, if she thought this was important enough to ban you from piloting her, then you really had no choice, though -she gave him a scolding look- I wish you'd told us sooner, Lance, hiding things is not....I can't..." He gave a stiff nod, apologizing for keeping them in the dark, he'd been just too caught up in the things that Blue had sent and the anxiety of going through the gate. So much so, that he didn't think to tell them, and also because he'd been worried that they'd be mad at him again or think badly of him for this, even when his lion gave him no choice in the matter.

His friend's expressions softened after that and they reassured him that it was okay, that Kuron didn't pose a threat to anyone as of now, since he still had the inhibitor on his robot arm. But he would have to keep an eye on him and make sure he didn't do anything suspicious, he agreed, and spined around to look at the older man, whose face was set into a permanent frown, his eyes full of remorse as he glanced at the screen.

"Well, I think it's time we explore, guys, gonna take off now." He winked at his friends, and watched as everyone left the screen to take a seat on their respective positions, only Allura, Lotor and Coran remaining in frame, watching his every move. He looked back once, to make sure that the gate was still behind them -it was- and he saved the coordinates on Blue's and his suit's memory for when he had to come back.

As soon as they left the surface, he saw that the whole place was covered in ice and snow, and with the ice storm going on, visibility was low, so he had to fly close to the ground as to not crash into any structures, if there were any.

They flew for about half an hour in complete silence sans the occasional comment he made, relaying to his friends what he was seeing, which was reduced to 'white' and 'rocks', not very informative, but he worked with what he had.

Another ten minutes or so passed, and he was beginning to get bored when Blue perked up, and she metaphorically raised her head like she'd just seen something really interesting, her aura flaring up and filling the cockpit with warmth and longing and excitement and love and-.

He startled and nearly let go of the controls at her sudden change in mood, and his lack of attention cost him a crash, a loud booming noise echoing inside the cabin as Blue rammed into the side of something, the sound reminiscing vaguely of metal.

He quickly assessed damage and steered his lion, flying some distance away from the structure to see what it was, what he saw, though, left him gaping and stuttering in awe, and he vaguely heard as Kuron gasped and stood up to walk forward, too mesmerized by what his eyes were fixated on. He was aware that his teammates were yelling his name, asking for a report on the situation - _what happened, are you hurt, did you crash, what's going on-_ but he tuned them out and whined confusedly at what stood before him.

He was looking at the castle of lions, or, well, the castle of lions if it had been upgraded to be twice as big, with thousands of new tech installed, aquamarine lightning shining from some of it's parts, and a big ass, very impressive and very very active teludav standing tall behind it, attached to the castle as small electric currents ran through the ring.

"Holy shit." He was in shock, from a simple glance, you wouldn't be able to tell the similarities with the castle of lions, but Lance had been living there for more than half a year, he could see the basic shape of what was supposed to be the original castle, the rest of the construction having been built around it.

"Lance, answer us right now or we're deploying for an extraction." Allura's grave voice brough him back, and he composed himself, sucking in a shaky breath before speaking.

"Uhmm, yeah, it's fine, no problems here." The princess sagged and gave him a pointed look, clearly asking him to explain. " It's just, Blue picked up on something over here and startled me, and I kinda crashed into the side of a...building." A small groan reached his ears and he smiled sheepishly, his eyes glancing over at Kuron who was still gaping at the sight.

"Please, do not do that again, we were unsettled." Lotor nodded from her right, and Coran gave him a thumbs up in agreement, still not understanding what the gesture really meant.

He focused on the strange castle again, thinking of the possibilities, alive alteans, maybe? An old construction left behind and taken over by someone? But constructing a teludav wasn't easy work, only highly intelligent people could do it, someone like Slav or the Olkari. Maybe the galra had stolen it and hid it on this god forsaken planet?

He honestly had no idea, and he felt shaky and queasy every time his eyes landed on it, feeling anxious and nervous the more he waited, and it looked like Kuron wasn't faring any better, expression still starstruck, hands reaching forwards as if he wanted to hold onto what he was seeing and never let go.

He was pondering on their next course of action when one of the hatches on the side of the ship opened up, the lights turning on, brilliant blue, beckoning them to advance, to come in. He hesitated, suddenly uneasy, and made about to turn back and retreat for now, but Blue growled suddenly, her ethereal form wrapping around his arms and demanding, more than asking, that he fly right ahead and enter the ship.

He whined high on his throat, the sound shrill and loud, and as much as he knew Blue would never endanger him, he still didn't want to go in there, not with zero info or insight or a game plan at least. But she was adamant, pushing him forward, trying to convey how important it was that he stayed, that they wouldn't have another chance, that he had to trust her. And she nudged him with her nose, headbutting his back with unrelenting soft shoves, whispers of promises and bright smiles and a _' You will understand'_ swirling around inside his mind.

And he gave up, because when his girl was dead set on something, there was absolutely nothing anyone could do to convince her otherwise, so he rested his forehead against the front panel and hit it twice, willing himself to fill with resolve and forget his feelings of dread.

"Okay, okay, _fine_ , I'll do what you say. God I know I'm going to regret this." He murmured lowly, only Kuron able to hear his musings, but he was too distracted to notice, whispering that he ' _had to go back_ ' over and over as his eyes never left the castle. "Allura, the building I mentioned earlier is open, I'm going to investigate, is that okay?" She looked doubtful, but eventually relented, realizing that he was there to do just that, recon and report his findings, and this was a good chance to do just that.

He nodded at her and she sent him off with a _'Be careful'_ as the prince touched his earring on screen, Lance mimicking his gesture in a silent _'I'll be okay'_ , Lotor smiled and walked to his station, joining his sisters as they waved -mostly Ezor- at Lance .

He elbowed Kuron on the side, asking him to go back to his seat, which he did in robotic like motions, and Lance felt as if the other were a zombie, moving more by instinct and instructions rather than free will, it creeped him out a little, but he dealt with it like he did with everything else; he ignored it.

He gripped the controls and veered Blue towards the entrance that had opened, going slow and careful, mindful and suspicious of his surroundings. They entered a tunnel, much like the ones on the castle from where the lions were deployed, and a strange sense of deja vu -he shuddered at the word- filled him from head to toe, his eyes roaming over the metal walls and the bright electric blue lights marking his path.

A small light at the end of the tunnel -no analogy intended- made him squint to try and see what awaited them, but he didn't have to wait long, and before he knew it they were exiting the enclosed space, right into an enormous hangar full of ships, speeders, and other vehicles that he couldn't really recognize.

Blue purred all around him, she was feeling giddy and energized, like she wanted to run a marathon or jump into someone's arms, it made Lance wonder just what she knew that they didn't, what prompted her to act that way. She landed on the center of the hangar, a place big enough to fit her gigantic form, and from the front screen he saw a small figure advance hurriedly towards them, like they were running.

Lance bit his lip and tried to catalogue his lion's feelings, intent on finding out what the deal was, but besides giddy excitement and anticipation, everything else was muddled and confusing, a whirlwind of sensations and images and sounds, whispers of distorted voices sighing and laughing, fragments of pieces of a puzzle that he couldn't put together.

"Allura, we touched down inside, I'm going to scout the area and hopefully make contact with whatever alien species live here." An affirmative noise was sent his way, and even through a screen, millions of light years away, he could feel the tension that permeated the control room. Pidge reminded him to activate the new transmitter on his helmet, and he did just that, powering off Blue's systems and leaving her on stand by. Hunk suggesting he take some supplies and of course, his Bayard, with him, which was a given.

Standing from his chair felt nice, and he stretched his arms and legs until they popped, glad to move around instead of staying still. Kuron didn't get up though, and Lance frowned, still puzzled by the other's inability to function, and he slowly approached him and lay a hand onto his shoulder, trying to catch his attention.

"Hey man, dude, are you...okay?" The other's eyes landed on his, but they were glazed over, as if he was looking past Lance into something only he could see, and no matter how much he shook Kuron, he wouldn't budge, and he reached the conclusion that maybe he was having some sort of flashback again, one that Lance wasn't privy to.

"What's wrong, Lance?" Lotor's voice came really close to his ear, and he nearly jumped in fright, before remembering that it was just the thing that Pidge had installed on his helmet, and he whistled before answering.

"Nothing bad, Kuron just looks slightly out of it, kinda dazed and stuff." _Like a robot on reboot._

"Lance -that was Allura now- if you think he's about to do something dubious, you should restrain him, he may have his inhibitor, but he's still extremely strong." He knew that, even without his robotic arm, Kuron was as quick and fast a Shiro, though his fighting style was highly different from their leader's, something Lance had noticed as he watched their sparring recordings back when he'd been hurt.

"Yeah, I don't think that'd be necessary -Blue hummed- Blue says so, too, it's fine." Without waiting for a response, he grabbed his Bayard and activated his dual pistols -which he nearly forgot about- walking towards the ramp slowly, deliberately minding his steps, wary of whoever may be outside. He yelped when his visor blackened suddenly, although he could still see perfectly well, it was opaque from the outside, hiding his eyes, and Blue sent him the useful feeling of _'It's necessary for now'_ , which explained absolutely _nothing_.

She just laughed at him.

He pouted.

Blue opened her maw slowly, and he could already hear the person outside talking, barely making out their silhouette, they seemed to be muttering under their breath, the pitch getting higher as his lion's hatch opened, and he was able to catch the last of their musings.

"Can't believe you made us wait so long, he's gonna be pissed, you know? I mean, where the fuck were you? Taking a vacation? This is _not_ okay, as soon as you come down here I'm gonna kick your ass and-" Lance tuned him out, it looked like this person -definitely not galra- thought they were someone they knew, but that wasn't possible, someone that came out of the Blue lion, would undoubtedly be the Blue paladin, a Voltron warrior, and no matter how much their fans and allies thought they knew them, they never acted this casual.

There was the possibility that they had asked for help from Voltron, and they hadn't received the signal, thus making them angry that they were late. With this theory, their rant made more sense, and he was ready to apologize and ask for information about the gate and whatever was happening on this planet.

Every word died on his tongue, though, after the hatch opened completely and he saw the person -a guy- standing at the end of the ramp, still going on about their one sided argument as they gesticulated dramatically with their hands. The other glanced up and their eyes met, though his weren't visible because of the visor, but still.

His movements stopped and they both stood still face to face.

It was like looking into a mirror.

"Hey, what gives, man? Come down so I can-" The other stopped, eyes narrowing and mouth upturned into a snarl, looking him from head to toe. " You're not- what- who are you?" His tone was filled with anger and fear, and Lance would've loved to answer him, really, but his throat was dry and his heart was beating wildly inside his chest as he gazed at.....

As he gazed at _himself_.

No matter how much his inner voice tried to deny it, he was looking at himself, a few years older, maybe, with a low ponytail that reached his mid back, his hair short on the right side as a long, old looking scar ran from his forehead to below his ear, and he could see a few tattoos here and there. He was standing tall and intimidating, his hands clenched into fists, and he was donning an armor highly different from his own, but the voltron symbol was shockingly familiar, sitting on his chest, proud and bright.

And colored black.

He felt as his head swam and he staggered, his bayard falling from his hands as he gasped for breath. He clutched at his chest and tried to grasp the threads of his conciousness, but they were a knot too tight for him to unravel, his emotions, Blue's, and Kuron's all swirling inside him alongside the panicked yells of his teammates.

He didn't even notice as Kuron emerged from behind him, walking down the ramp slowly, freezing solid as he caught sigh of the other...him? They locked gazes and gasped at the same time, voices sounding wrecked as they called each other's names.

"Lance..?"

"Shiro?"

His brain shut down and decided enough was enough.

He fainted.

 


	8. Doppelgänger

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Merry christmas everyone! Here we are with another update, hope you enjoy the answers to some questions you all had, and if you have time, check my newest fic, Remnants, because ao3 messed up when i posted it and did it 3 times, then i had to erase the other two and it's not showing on notifications or something *shrugs*.  
> Summary will be added tomorrow when i'm not dying.  
> Also, next chapter may take a bit longer to post,because working at a resturant on christmas means i have no time to breathe, sleep, or anything really, let alone write, but i'll try to keep with my monthly updates.  
> Have fun, and thank you to everyone who took the time to read! You guys are the best <3  
> Here's a pic with Altean Keith and Black paladin Lance designs : https://78.media.tumblr.com/f9dab29e20ca5c3228d45d4e4c18d5b5/tumblr_p1na2oS34R1wzjp6to2_1280.png & https://78.media.tumblr.com/f5235d7c6243abaef9ede7c683106103/tumblr_p1na2oS34R1wzjp6to1_1280.png  
> Love, ULTI :)

He came to cocooned in something warm and firm, distorted voices that sounded like whispers reaching his ears, full of static and stuttering sporadically, lapses of silence alternating with bursts of sound, his brain way too muddled to make out anything.

He was content where he was, it felt safe and comfortable and he didn't want to open his eyes, he had a feeling that if he did, he would see something unsettling, and his mind screamed at him _'You're not ready'_ and _'Wait'_.....or was it Blue? He couldn't discern what were his own thoughts and whose were swirling around inside his head, and he vaguely caught a few emotions in the stream that flowed through him, unease, worry, surprise and glee being the most prominent.

He waited for what seemed like hours, the voices around him falling into background noise as he focused on his breathing and the arms cradling him, a scent like soil and fresh-cut grass filling his nostrils, relaxing him further. Abruptly, the buzz around him stopped, and a stillness befitting for space settled around him. He hummed and nuzzled closer to the source of warmth, wondering why the vibrations coming from it had ceased, why the air suddenly felt heavy, why the atmosphere became stifling, a crushing unease coursing through his bloodstream, past his heart and lungs, eventually arriving at his brain.

He shot up like a spring, a scream leaving his dry lips, the sound deafening in the silence that permeated the hangar. Two sets of yelps informed him that he was, in fact, not alone, and the previous meeting came back reeling full force, forcing him to clutch at his chest to prevent himself from panicking.

He could hear his comms going crazy, voices calling his name and asking for a report on his health and status, and he barely managed to whisper a _'I'm fine'_ to try and quiet them down, before his breathing hitched and he was unable to talk again, anxiety building on his core, rising up like the tide, unrelenting and constant.

He risked a glance to his right, and saw Kuron massaging his chin -which Lance had probably head butted in his panic, with his helmet on-, a hand hovering patiently close to Lance's shoulder, as if waiting for permission to touch him, probably wanting to steady him in the event of another fainting spell. Kuron looked apologetic -an expression he was getting used to seeing on the other's face- and he was biting his lip, brows furrowed in concern.

"Lance? Are you okay?" Somehow, Lance had the impression that Kuron's voice sounded stronger, more decided, like he'd finally found a piece of himself and some of his personality had come back. He blinked, trying to gauge if he was, indeed, okay. His breaths were still erratic, and his heart felt like it wanted to leap out of his chest, he was also sweating bullets and trembling slightly, kinda felt like puking too.

He was so _not_ okay.

Lance shook his head and gasped, closing his eyes tight, waiting for the discomfort to end, and then, he heard as Blue purred softly in the distance, an echo of the word _'Blue'_ broadcasting on a loop through their link, happiness and comfort radiating from her like waves, washing over him and taking away the edge of terrified uncertainty that had nearly suffocated him.

He calmed down almost instantly, he was still agitated as fuck and nervous too, and his voice was still out of commission, throat wrecked from that scream he let out earlier. But the feeling of being on the edge of pure, unadulterated terror had faded, and his brain worked at full capacity again, letting him analyze the situation at hand.

" _Lance?_ He's called like _me_? What the fuck?" He jumped a foot in the air, he'd nearly forgotten the reason why he'd fainted in the first place, and he forced himself to turn left, determined to see the person who'd felt like looking into a mirror. A more badass, more attractive and _way_ more intimidating mirror, but still.

His eyes swept over the room faintly, trying to take in more of his surroundings should a escape be necessary, and they eventually fell on the tall figure standing a few feet away from them, hands on his hips as he stared down at Lance. It was the same as before, every little detail as he'd seen it the first time; the guy was slightly taller than Lance, a few inches, at least, and definitely older by a few years. His long brown hair was tied into a low ponytail that reached his mid back, and he sported some earrings on his ears, one of them shining bright red.

His eyes were blue, just like his own, and he had a few scars visible here and there, the most prominent being the one on his face, going from his right brow down to his chin, and it looked like it continued it's path down, disappearing into the armor he wore. Said armor was black, the symbol for Voltron standing proud on his chest piece, and Lance spotted some tattoos where the clothes did not cover skin, such as his wrist, neck and forearm.

Lance looked at his face, intent on denying what he was seeing, lying to himself, saying it was impossible. But it was useless, he could see the characteristic McClain features that ran down the family, the pointy nose and strong chin from his dad's side, the slanted blue eyes from his mother's side, the faint freckles over his cheeks, the thin eyebrows and long lashes, the full lips he'd thanked his mom's genetics for as he grew older.

He was, undoubtedly, indisputably and definitely a McClain, and the thought disturbed him more than he could have ever imagined, theories and ideas and scenarios filling his head, preventing him from noticing anything around him while he tried to come back from his perturbed state.

"Shiro, what the hell is going on? You've been missing for two weeks! We thought you were missing or kidnapped or dead! And suddenly you come back, and someone unknown is piloting Blue. Care to explain?" Lance snapped out of his turmoil at the other's voice, deep and slightly husky with an inkling of seriousness that, for some weird reason, fit him very well. The other him crossed his arms and looked at Kuron with his brows furrowed in concern and a shadow of anger lingered in his gaze, but Lance could see how his hands shook and his posture tensed, as if he was stopping himself from moving.

"I.....look Lance, I can't....my mind is still..." Kuron seemed to struggle, trying in vain to find words to explain himself, eventually, he huffed and sighed, getting up and walking towards the other _him_ , and Lance saw as his lookalike tensed even further, stance changing swiftly to a more defensive one.

The atmosphere in the hangar became stifling astonishingly quick, and Lance got to his feet and watched the other's interactions with the intensity of someone that's waiting for a bomb to explode, a fire to burn high and bright, a firework about to burst. It felt like he was expecting for all hell to break loose, for them to rampage and fill the room with screams and destruction as the situation made less and less sense the longer it lasted.

He was about to scream in frustration when a voice, heavy accented and cheery in it's tone came from the doorway on the far end of the room, a whirring sound accompanying it.

"Lance, what's taking you so long? You didn't tell us who came to the castle. Is it an ally?" The guy -if his silhouette was anything to go by- strided towards the other _him_ , and the closer he got, the more flabbergasted Lance became, and he felt anxiety eat at his stomach, because, how many more weird things was he gonna be witness to today? He felt like he shouldn't have gotten out of bed today, and he sighed heavily, running a hand though his hair, whispering on his comms a string of _'Everything's okay, don't worry'_ , so his teammates wouldn't be freaked out by his silence.

He risked a glance up again, and was met with the same features he had just seen a tick ago, a guy, probably older than him -about Shiro's age- walked forward still, he had a strong chin and eyes as black as night, the same shade as his hair, which was short but slightly longer on the back. He wore a black and grey uniform with a green symbol that Lance had never seen, and the smile on his face faded gradually as he approached and caught sight of Kuron.

Said man stopped abruptly, and he seemed to tear up, his lips trembling as he reached his hands forward, as if he wanted to try and hold onto Kuron despite the distance.

"Brother?" The newcomer spoke with a wobbly voice, gasping as his breaths hitched, not moving from his position. Kuron blinked, completely frozen, and after a minute or so, he opened his mouth with a yelp, and held his head, pain marring his features as he tried to keep his eyes open. The other _him_ raised an eyebrow at the display, switching gazes between Kuron and the newcomer, who looked antsy and concerned, as if he was going to leap forward any second to try and console Kuron.

"Sven, why did you come? Did you need something?" The other guy, named Sven, apparently, jumped in surprise and tore his eyes away from Kuron, looking conflicted as his eyes darted back and forth. After repeating the motion a few times, he settled on glaring instead, eyes hard and fists clenched as he faced the other him.

"Why didn't you tell us that Shiro was back? Do you know how much we've suffered these two weeks?" Sven's voice sounded angry, and he was trembling, biting his lip to refrain himself from speaking anymore.

"I had to, I didn't know his situation or if he was even _alive_ , I needed to make sure no harm came to us, it's my responsibility." The other him never faltered, chin held high and shoulders squared. His voice held no doubt and no waver, as if he was convinced his actions were without fault and the correct decision, and he looked at Sven with his eyes faintly narrowed, but there was never anger or distaste in his tone, nor in his eyes, he was just informing Sven about the situation, nothing more, nothing less.

"I was going to tell you _eventually_ , when I assessed his condition and that our safety wasn't compromised." That seemed to calm Sven down somewhat, and he hunched his shoulders as he looked at the other him though his lashes, sheepish and meek.

"I know, I know _that_ , but we've been dying here, not knowing where he was or if he was safe, you have to understand." The other _him_ nodded, and shared a soft smile with the other. It looked like the tension in the room had dissipated, the air clearing of any hostility, but just then, Kuron groaned, cradling his head in between his hands, nearly doubling over, and Lance rushed towards him, supporting his arms, clueless as to what to do.

It seemed other _him_ didn't have _that_ problem, though.

"Shit, he seems in pain, you -he shouted, pointing at Lance- support him from this side, I will get the other, we're going to carry him to the lounge so he can lay down. I'm just gonna go with the assumption you're not with the enemy since Shiro looked at ease with you, but make no mistake, any funny business, and you're out." Lance nodded, not trusting his voice, and between the both of them, they carried the older man throughout the strange corridors that Lance didn't recognize, with Sven going in front, gazing back periodically, his eyes worried, the only sound reaching their ears being their own footsteps.

"I'm going to have to ask you a lot of questions -Lance looked in the other him's direction- but I think the most crucial one is, _why_ are you piloting Blue?" Lance would've answered, but they had reached the resting area, and the doors opened quickly as they passed, both of them walking to a very familiar couch to slowly lay down Kuron, who curled up with a groan, hissing in pain. He watched as Sven plopped down just besides Kuron's head, and with slow and gentle movements cradled his head until it rested on his lap, carding his fingers through the other's hair in a soothing motion.

It looked like it worked, because not a tick later, Kuron's whole body relaxed, and his groans became whimpers, breaths growing deeper and slower, to the point that Lance thought he might have fallen asleep. He was watching them so intently, that he about jumped a foot in the air when a hand tapped his shoulder, and he turned to look at his....doppelgänger -he needed to call him something, for the sake of his brain, that was what came to mind- who crossed his arms again and raised an eyebrow at him, as if waiting for Lance to say something.

He just mimicked the other's pose and frowned, forgetting for a second there that his visor didn't allow anyone to see his face at the moment, so he settled for a huff and a tilt of his head to show his displeasure. His doppelgänger gritted his teeth, looking ready to murder, but he eventually took a deep breath and murmured something about _'calming his temper'_ , before relaxing his stance and looking at Lance with a neutral face.

"Okay, let's try this again, my name is Lance McClain -Lance felt his own brain short-circuit- could I get _your_ name?" He tried to speak up, but it felt like a heavy weight had settled on his chest, cutting off his air supply as he gaped, still trying to deny what he just heard.

He barely managed to squeak a small "Lance." before he got overwhelmed and had to sit down. Not trusting himself to move very far, he just dropped like a rock on the metal floor and brought his knees close to his chest, resting his head against them as he tried to remember the breathing exercises he used to calm down, trying not to hyperventilate.

A hand, hesitant and warm, found it's way into his back and began rubbing small circles around it, the motions keeping his focus away from his reason to panic as he got lost into the soft touches.

"Hey, it's okay, breathe with me, yeah?" His own voice reached his ears, and his breath hitched before he nodded, following his doppelgänger's instructions as the other, calmly and with a tenderness he hadn't expected, guided him through his panic attack.

"That's it, you're doing wonderful. I'm sorry if I've been a little....overpowering in our interactions. It is my responsibility to make sure everyone is safe, and I didn't know anything about you,...still don't. But it looks like Shiro trusts _you_ , so I'm going to hold onto that." His talking actually helped Lance, preventing him from getting lost in his own thoughts and inner turmoil, and when he deemed his condition to have improved enough, he spoke up, throat kind of wrecked and voice slightly shaky.

"Thanks.....I'm sorry too, I'm just....kind of lost, right now." He spied from the corner of his eye as the other nodded, accepting his reasons for now, humming as he held Lance's hand on his own and helped him stand up. Lance's legs shook, and he had a second to feel embarrassed before the figure on the couch let out a gasp, loud and unexpected, and they all looked at the other, holding their breaths and just waiting for something to happen.

When it finally did, Kuron's eyes opened, and they were clearer that Lance could ever remember them being. His face did a weird thing, passing through so many emotions in so little time that he couldn't analyze or hope to make out what exactly he was feeling, and it ended with his mouth set on a grimace and his eyes closed in what he assumed to be frustration.

Kuron pressed the heels of his hands into his eyes and groaned anew, this time in something akin to annoyance and irritation. "Oh my god- I cannot believe- Ugh, why did this have to happen?" Kuron's voice had taken on a tone that Lance hadn't heard before, and he felt his eyes widen as the other nuzzled Sven's stomach and whimpered pitifully, murmuring nonsense like a child throwing a tantrum.

"Finally got your mind straight?" Sven's voice was filled with mischief and a tint of playfulness as he slapped the other in the back good naturedly, a hint of laughter in his tone.

"You know that's impossible, I'm as straight as a wet noodle" And, well, that wasn't something Lance expected to hear from him right now, or ever, really. Mostly because Shiro was really closed off about anything personal, and he rarely used to answer questions about his private life, which Lance respected and understood. So he thought, for some reason, that Kuron would be the same.

Obviously, he was not.

"Aaaand he's returned. Welcome back to the world of functional brains once more, brother, glad to see your neurones are still working hard." Kuron snorted and punched Sven on the shoulder before sitting up, both of them smirking and throwing Lance in for a loop. Because man, looking at them, side by side, identical grins on matching faces.....yeah, he was questioning his sanity and the existence of doppelgängers harder than ever.

"Uhm.....Shiro?" Said guy looked back at him, and Lance felt like he was naked, feeling vulnerable like an open book, the look the other threw at him being a mixture of pity and understanding.

"Oh shit, I nearly forgot about you." Lance fumed, choosing not to answer that statement.

"Gee, thanks." Okay, scratch that, he answered anyway. But he was tired, had a headache and absolutely no idea what was going on. His teammates kept speaking over the comms asking questions he didn't have the answers to, Blue just kept sending him vibes of content and _'Blue'_ , and he was really, really close to snapping.

Thankfully, Kuron seemed to catch his mood and walked up to him, resting a hand on his back and guiding him to the couch so he could sit, and he was grateful for it, he felt like just passing out and letting the universe take care of itself.

Sadly, the universe always said _'Fuck you, Lance'_.

"Okay, okay, how do I go about this...." Kuron was kneeling before him, but stood up and paced while he was thinking, biting his thumb in a nervous tic that Lance found distracting. Eventually, he stopped and let out a huff, releasing all the air in his lungs before looking back at Lance. "Okay, Lance- both he and his doppelgänger turned to look at Kuron, who facepalmed- I mean, _this_ -he pointed at Lance sitting on the couch- Lance, I think it'll be easier if you take off your helmet, the explanation will take less time that way." Lance raised an eyebrow at him, even though Kuron couldn't see, and he hesitated for a tick before Blue's presence nudged him on the side, urging him to listen and do as the other was saying.

"Yeah, fine, but if everything goes to shit, it'll be your fault." He was mostly murmuring at Blue, but Kuron heard him and smiled sadly, motioning with his hand for him to stand up and take his helmet off. He did just that, gripped the piece of armor tight and took it off in a swift motion, brushing his hair out of his face as he opened his eyes.

"Holy shit." Two sets of voices rang through the room, one being Sven's, and one being his doppelgänger's. Both of them had their eyes wide open in disbelief, and their mouths were hanging as they gaped, Sven raising his hand to point at him like he was some kind of ghost.

"Holy shit Lance, you've got a clone! A younger, cuter, sweeter version of you!" Sven got up from his seat and marched towards him, and Lance had to resist the urge to flee or get in position to fight. He might be a bit paranoid, but he didn't trust anything right now. The other just stood before him, looking him up and down before letting out a whine that sounded like a question.

"Now that I think about it....why are you wearing a blue paladin armor?" Sven would've continued, but rapid footsteps approached them and Lance barely had time to turn before hands were gripping his head, intense blue eyes not unlike his own gazing straight back at him, fear and mistrust and wonder swirling inside.

"Who are you? Who sent you? Is this another of the Queen's tricks? Because if so, you're not getting out of here alive." His tone sent shivers down Lance's spine, and he tried in vain not to whimper as he gazed into the cold, unforgiving eyes of his doppelgänger, his hands tightening the hold on his head to the point of hurting.

Thankfully, Kuron intervened before anything could happen, separating the other from him as Lance tried to find his breath again. " _Lance_ , stop that, this isn't what you think. He's not a spy for the Queen, it's physically impossible." Kuron held the doppelgänger's shoulders and looked him in the eyes, asking him to calm down in a low tone of voice.

After Kuron deemed the other stable enough, he faced Lance and took his wrists in a gentle hold, eyes kind and soft as he gulped. "Look, Lance, do you remember when I told you I had a feeling I knew why Black wouldn't let me pilot him?" Lance nodded slowly, remembering the event clearly, since it had been not to long ago, but he didn't have a clue as to what that had to do with anything.

"At the time, it was blurry and more of a feeling than anything else, but since crossing the gate, my memories have been coming back in waves, and I regained the majority of it. The reason why I couldn't pilot Black, why he rejected _me_ , was because..." Kuron took a deep breath and held Lance's wrists tighter, looking him in the eye.

"Because I'm actually the Blue paladin." Lance stood, frozen solid, didn't even know if he was breathing, he felt as if everything around him was behind a curtain of mist, becoming grey and hazy as he tried to make sense of what the other had just said. Remnants of Blue's insistence came back to him, her repeated echoes of _'Blue'_ , the link she created between them, the reason she was so happy, why she wanted to help Kuron so badly.

He was overwhelmed.

"The one that pilots the Black lion is actually....Lance." His doppelgänger was just as frozen as him, from what Lance could see, arms crossed across his chest as he took in a sharp breath, muscles tensing and eyes narrowing. His stare would have made even the bravest of men whimper in fear, and the only reason it didn't work on Lance was because it was his own face looking back at him, and no matter the appearance, it wasn't as intimidating.

"There is a whole lot of stuff that I- no, that _we_ need to explain to you, but for now I think you'll understand better if I sum it up -Lance nodded numbly- So, to put it bluntly, you're in an alternate reality, one where things are very, _very_ different." And Lance's brain did a backflip inside his skull, his lungs heaved and his heart somersaulted inside his ribcage as a piece finally clicked into place, his eyes cleared and his gears started moving again, memories of a talk about other worlds and dimensions shining through and standing out.

Lance breathed, and held it in, and then screamed.

"SLAV!!." At the exact same time his doppelgänger did.

They looked at each other and Lance had to refrain himself from laughing hysterically, because he was no double, no clone, no imitation. He was as real as he was, the Lance McClain of another world that had different experiences and ended up with a different destiny, the leader of Voltron, the Black Paladin.

The envy he felt coursing though his veins was unpleasant, but not unexpected

Lance had shouted for the only person that would know what was going on, and it seemed the other Lance had had the same idea. He was ready to endure Slav's overwhelming personality as long as he could get a good explanation out of it.

Sven and Kuron stood side by side, nervously looking at the pair as if they would go on a rampage any second now, and honestly, Lance would have liked to do so, but he had to keep calm, couldn't ruin the mission, couldn't fail his team.

After a tick of silence, footsteps could be heard from the outside of the hangar, quick and heavy in their hurry, and as the door opened with a whirring sound, he was expecting to see Slav, as if summoned by their shouts, which was a bit ludicrous.

What he saw, instead, was a sight that would be burned into his retinas for years to come.

"Brother?" A sweet voice filled the space they stood in, and the figure stepped forward before breaking into a run, robes trailing behind it's shape as he came into view, stopping right before Kuron, cheeks flushed and out of breath.

And Lance lost his own, heart caught in his throat.

Before him stood Keith, or the alternate version of him, at least. His hair was still as dark as ever, but it was unfairly long and beautiful, reaching his lower back as two small braids curled around the side of his face, a longer one falling alongside his long locks. He wore some kind of white and red robes that were high collared and long sleeved but showed his shoulders, and the back was longer and trailed behind him, looking ethereal. Underneath were some kind of black thighs coupled with some high boots, and as Lance shifted his gaze towards his face once again, he nearly choked.

His eyes were purple, swimming with magenta and pink and blue in a swirl of color and intensity that left him speechless, and there were two small red markings below his eyes and on his shoulders, reminiscent of the same ones Allura and Coran sported on their cheeks.

"Shiro? Takashi, is it really you?" This Keith's voice was still strong and raspy, but his tone was softer, gentler, and he reached out towards Kuron before the older one enveloped him in a hug, shedding some silent tears while Keith cried more openly, holding tight.

"Keith, oh little brother, how much I missed you." Keith laughed and cried and held onto Kuron before Sven joined them, the three of them chuckling and smiling as tears ran down their cheeks, happiness radiating from their every pore. And Lance just stood there, feeling like an stranger, like he was intruding, and mesmerized at the same time at the sight of Keith, so different from the one was used to, yet his aura remained the same.

Burning and fierce and full of determination, bright and sizzling like a raging inferno.

It seemed his staring ticked off other him, though, because not a second later, he was taking Keith away from Kuron and walking some distance away, never taking his eyes off Lance. And it looked like Keith finally noticed him, because he gasped and held other him's hand, looking worried and dubious and full of mistrust.

Yeah, welcome to the club.

They seemed to whisper amongst themselves, and Lance had to blink twice when he thought he saw a soft look pass between them, because as much as Lance and Keith were friends -barely-, he couldn't imagine Keith ever looking at him like that, it just wasn't possible. Lance was still trying to achieve that status, to earn Keith's forgiveness and finally stop being so worried about their friendship being lost forever.

He shifted his gaze away from them and sighed, trying to regain some of his composure.

The situation at hand proved to be more of a concern at the moment anyway.

"Takashi, what is going on? Who is he? And why....why does he look like Lance?" Lance looked towards Kuron, and tried to frown at him, but he was way too tired to be intimidating right now and he just wanted _answers_.

"Keith..., that would be because he _is_ Lance. From another world, at least." He heard more than saw the gasp that escaped Keith's lips, and before he could even comment on that, or just scream his lungs out for someone to, _please give him an essay that explained what was happening in a hundred words or less_ , the ship they were in rocked so hard to the side that Lance was sent careening towards his left, rolling trough the floor and crashing hard against one of the ships parked there.

Noise suddenly flared around him, loud alarms and crashes resounding throughout the room as he tried to regain his footing, his head hurting from where he hit it on the hard metal of the ship. He pried open his eyes as saw his helmet laying a few feet away from him, and he raced to put it on and report to his team before they flipped their shit and sent Red to destroy everything in her wake.

"Guys?" His voice sounded raspy to his own ears, and he cleared his throat before gulping, suddenly nervous at the radio silence on the other side.

It didn't last long, though.

 _"Lance, what the shit is going on?_ " That was Pidge, screaming like a banshee.

 _"Are you okay!?"_ His best friend's voice sounded worried an anxious, Lance could picture him wringing his hands and furrowing his brow in concern.

 _"Do you need reinforcements?"_ Allura's tone was slightly panicked, but she hid it well, years and years of experience aiding her in keeping a façade of calm.

 _"Lance, please respond."_ Lotor....the sound of the prince's voice brought a smile to his face, and he smacked his cheeks before sobering up and getting serious, noticing the looks of badly concealed panic that the guys around the room were sporting.

"Lance reporting back to team Voltron - _Thank god you're okay- Don't do that again- Jesus, Lance_ -. The mission is still in course, we came in contact with the....locals and their ship, but it seems they are under attack, me and Shiro are going to aid them to the best of our ability, I will report back once the battle is finished." A heavy sigh was heard through the comms, and everyone gave him the okay to go ahead, as long as he was careful and relayed anything they needed to know or if he got hurt and needed assistance.

He replied an affirmative and proceeded to mute the comms on both sides, his reason being that he wouldn't be able to focus with so many voices in his ears, and his team begrudgingly accepted, his health being more important to them that the need to stay informed.

As soon as he finished assuring his team that he would be fine, he straightened and jogged towards were Shiro was arguing with other Lance, the two talking calmly, but Lance could see the edge of anger and worry shining through their eyes as they spoke.

"No, Lance, _you_ listen, you can't fight them alone, no matter how strong you are, we need the whole team-"

"I'm tired of this, Shiro! It's my job to protect _you_ , I'm not going to let them hurt any of you ever again. I don't care what you say, I'm going and it's final." Other Lance's tone was cold and it left no doubt that he wasn't going to be swayed from his decision, he had a Bayard clutched tight in his hand, a black Bayard that was pulsating with light, as if ready to explode.

" _Brihlka_ , please...." Keith's melodic voice filled the room, soft and breezy, barely able to be heard over the ruckus around the ship. But other Lance heard it loud and clear, and he froze as he turned around and faced Keith, the other reaching out to place his hand above the Bayard as his eyes filled with pain and worry, mouth open in a silent plea.

"Lance, don't do this again, please. I know how you feel, I really do, but.....-Keith smiled- you always said we were unstoppable when we battled together, shall we show them just who they're messing with?" Keith's smile turned into a smirk, and Lance nearly gaped when the other him relaxed instantly, shoulders slumping as he slowly returned the smirk, his eyes alight with mirth.

"That's right, let's get this show going." Lance stood frozen for a tick longer than needed before he was able to move, hand summoning his Bayard as he stood by Kuron, speaking as soon as he stopped and surprising everyone in the vicinity

"So, anyone gonna explain what's going on? And I don't mean the situation, because I have a feeling it's going to take long, but rather, what or who is attacking you?" Everyone seemed to gaze at Other Lance, and he sighed and ran a hand through his hair before looking Lance in the eye with a severe look that pinned him where he stood.

"I can't say much yet, I don't know you or trust you. But....-he frowned and looked towards Lance's Bayard- if you're willing to add to our fire power and help, I suppose the least I can do is share some information. My instincts have never failed me before, I don't think they'll begin now." Lance bit his lip and nodded, clutching his blaster a bit tighter.

"I know you have no reason to trust me right now, but I'm a paladin of Voltron, the Blue paladin, and if you need help, then that's what I'm gonna do." He leveled other him with a determined gaze, trying to convey his conviction. "And regardless of what you say, I'm still going to join the fray, so though luck." His other him chuckled lowly at that and his eyes shifted to look at Kuron, who smiled -although a bit tight- and nodded, answering the silent question the other was asking him.

"Since Shiro seems to think you're trustworthy, I'll risk it, just this once. Right now, if the castle logs aren't wrong, we're being attacked by space pirates, the worst of the scum in the universe. They work for money and will do anything to get it, from murder, to kidnappings, to trafficking, and all the lesser crimes in between." Lance gasped, feeling dread at the thought of having to fight face to face with assassins and murderers, something he never had to do before and didn't look forward to.

Other him looked down at his...watch? A thing on his wrist that displayed a holo screen with a lot of numbers and algorithms that meant nothing to Lance, but other him seemed to be able to read with no problem. "It looks like they're trying to board the castle through the north-east sector, they seem heavily armed and more professional that what we're used to. This will be though." Other him bit his lip and mussed his hair, sighing softly when Keith patted his back in a calming manner, a tiny frown creasing his brows.

"What should we do, Lance?" Keith's voice was strong and his tone never wavered, he stood by other Lance's side and brought him comfort as the other tapped his watch at rapid speeds, fingers moving as fast as Pidge's whenever she programmed something.

"I'm going to contact _Team_ _Verde_ , she'll hack the castle systems in an instant and give us enough time to prepare a battle plan." Keith nodded and squeezed other Lance's shoulder before going to stand by Kuron again, and it wasn't like he wanted to eavesdrop, really, they were just really close by and...well, he couldn't help it, he was curious.

"Shiro, what have you been up to? You were supposed to be on a reckon mission, just take those supplies to the rebels and come back. But a week passed and we heard nothing from you, we came to the rendezvous point and there was no trace of you either." Keith's voice wavered slightly as he spoke, and he looked like he was about to cry again, looking at Kuron like he couldn't believe he was there.

"I'm sorry Keith, I never wanted to leave you, or Sven, but something happened, something I'm still trying to piece together, and I couldn't come back, it's been......it's been a long time....for me, that is." Kuron looked pained, and he took in a shaky breath as he crossed his arms, trying to hide the fact that he was trembling, his eyes shining with sorrow.

"What....what do you mean by that?" Keith looked horrified, and he rested his hand on Kuron's forearm, hair swaying softly behind him as he moved.

"I can't remember very well, my mind is hazy and messed up, but....when I crossed the gate -if I ever did- I think time got distorted, I have a feeling....or maybe it's a memory. But, it's been more than a few months for me since I last saw you, maybe even longer.....I can't....recall much." Keith gasped in horror, breath hitching, and from their right Sven did the same, walking forward with his eyes wide, clouded with confusion and fright, hands reaching to cradle Kuron's head against his shoulder.

"Oh god, I'm sorry, I'm sorry." Sven looked ready to cry, and Keith wasn't far behind, a few tears escaping his eyes before he brushed them away and opened his arms wide to take the two older men between his arms, squeezing tight like he had no intention of ever letting go.

"I'm sorry, Takashi, we didn't know, why didn't you say so before?" Lance gulped, trying to look away, but his eyes were glued to the scene, unable to shift his gaze. He saw as Keith closed his eyes and rested his head on Kuron's chest, nuzzling him softly, a small chuckle leaving Kuron's lips, which in turn made the other two smile.

"I was just so happy to see you, my memories came back all of a sudden, and I was confused and overwhelmed, but I finally remembered you, and him, and everyone in the team, and the atmosphere was so cheery and I just....didn't think of saying anything, didn't want to ruin the mood." Sven punched him in the arm, sniffing softly before headbutting Kuron playfully.

"Idiot, next time think more about yourself, we just want you to be okay." Kuron huffed, a small pout forming on his lips as he let out a begrudging ' _yes mom'._

"Also, you know that _'I forgot_ ' isn't going to make your boyfriend not want to kill you, right?" Kuron paled considerably, looking as if he wanted to crawl into a hole and disappear.

"How....how has Matt being doing?" His voice had become small and hesitant, and Lance had to do a double take to check that, _yes_ , it was still Kuron talking -though he seemed to have changed into a more mellow, nervous and fidgety version of himself- and _yes_ , he just said that his boyfriend's name was Matt.

And there was only one Matt that Lance knew, even if it had been through Pidge's descriptions of him and not in person, but he didn't know what to do with that piece of information, so he just blinked, feeling detached and alien, and continued listening.

"Well, he's been a mess, alternating between being mad, anxious as hell, and terrified that he was never going to see you again, more or less like we were, honestly." Kuron frowned and bit his lip, hands tightening around his own forearms, turning his knuckles white. "We supported each other when you were gone, spending time together and comforting each other, looking for you while we ran away from the empire." That got Lance's attention again, the empire...it meant that the Galra existed here as well, and it was a thought that made him livid, knowing that no matter the reality, it seemed like they could never escape their destiny, and the universe couldn't escape enslavement.

He was lost in a pit of anger and indignation when a loud voice over the comms shook him awake, shoulders tensing as he listened to a voice he thought he recognized.

"Hey guys, _Team Verde_ speaking, I heard you got White back? My brother is going to flip when I tell him, he's boarding the ship as we speak." Lance listened to the voice intently, trying to discern where he heard it and why it sounded so familiar, and he snapped his fingers as he came to the realization that Verde meant Green in english, and there was only one person that could be Green on their team.

"Pidge!" Everyone around the room looked towards him, and he hunched in on himself, suddenly anxious at having all their attention focused on him.

"What is it, Lance? You never call me that anymore." She sounded confused through the comms, voice deep and silvery, and Lance had to take a second to make out why he hadn't been able to recognize her before. She sounded older, her tone had lost it's high pitched echo full of youth and energy, and it had been replaced by a low, even one, radiating wisdom and maturity.

"Wrong Lance, Katie." The other him rolled his eyes in fond exasperation.

"Huh?" Pidge made a confused noise from the back of her throat, the sound loud enough for everyone to hear.

"It's a long story, I'll tell you later, right now we need your help. We've been boarded, _again_." Simultaneous groans resonated throughout the room, and Lance looked around in confusion, watching as everyone wore matching expressions of annoyance, rather than fear, like he expected.

"I need you to hack into the castle systems and make their life a living hell until we're ready to counterattack. Can you do that?" A loud laugh that promised mischief and mayhem boomed loud through the comms, and Lance could picture Pidge cackling, fingers cracking as she prepared to bestow destruction and chaos upon the intruders.

"Who do you think you're talking to? Those idiots won't even know what hit them-"

"Katie? Who're you talking to?" A different voice filled the room, sweet and soft, with an inkling of affection, reminding Lance of his siblings and how they used to talk to him in that tone whenever they weren't pranking each other.

He heard, more than saw, as Kuron gasped, a whisper of a name leaving his lips and making Lance turn around to look at him. The older man was clutching his chest, his eyes shining with unshed tears and overwhelming hope, and his mouth was stretching slowly into a smile, watery and wobbly, but so full of affection and longing that it made Lance's heart clench painfully.

"Matt?" Kuron called out to the one that Lance supposed was Pidge's older brother, his voice small and hopeful, and another gasp reached his ears, this time loud and painful. Crashes and a yelp were heard and then Matt's voice came through, loud and clear.

"Takashi? Is that you? What did- how are you- when-?" It looked like Matt wasn't able to utter a whole sentence, but Lance could see that Kuron couldn't care less, he was smiling wide, so much so that his eyes were nearly closed and dimples formed on the corner of his lips.

"It's me, Mattie, I came back, just like I promised." A whine came through the transmission, and Lance felt like he was intruding, some of Kuron's emotions getting through their connection and making him squirm, not really comfortable experiencing someone else's feelings.

"Guys, look, I know this is a really, like, emotive reunion and shit, and I'm happy for you, believe me, but Hunk just arrived -Lance perked up at that- and I'm about to hack the castle, we need to leave soon. So can you, please, maybe, leave the mushy stuff for later?" Through the transmitter, they heard as Matt whined and tried to keep the connection going, probably worried and wanting to continue talking with his boyfriend. But Pidge didn't budge, she took the device from his hands -if what he heard was right- and she addressed other Lance once more before breaking connection.

"Lance, I'm inside the system, the pirates they sent this time seem to be more professional than usual, from what I can see. They carry heavy firepower and high tech weapons, so I suggest you do not engage in close combat. Also.... I can't see how many there are, they just got a hold of the systems - dammit - but I'll get them back as soon as I can, meanwhile you'll have to make do. You have ten doboshes to make up a plan, so be quick." The other him smiled even though Pidge couldn't see him.

"Thanks Katie, I will." The transmission cut off after that, Kuron deflating like a balloon when he could no longer hear the voice of his lover, but he immediately straightened when the other him cleared his throat, and Lance decided to do the same, peer pressure, he supposed.

It was strange, though, to watch as everyone stood still, shoulders squared and chins held high, eyes focused solely on the other him, waiting for his orders, nothing but trust and faith in their gazes as his doppelgänger thought of the course of action to follow. Lance was not used to people listening to what he had to say, and it wasn't him -not really- who they were listening to, but it still felt bizarre to watch everyone depending on him, relying on this version of himself that was responsible, smart, level-headed and strong.

It made the envy that had crawled in between his ribs squirm, rearing it's ugly head before Lance smothered it away, shaking his head and focusing on paying attention instead.

"Okay, it looks like we're in a pinch this time. _Team Verde_ and _Auro_ will take at least half a varga to arrive at the castle, Slav left a varga ago to gather some tech he left at his laboratory -which I totally forgot- and Coran is out with Lotor on a mission right now, so we'll have to do this on our own." Other him glanced at everyone around the room, gauging their reactions and humming softly after, as if he was pleased at what he found.

"The pirates seem to have boarded us from the north-east wing, and if their numbers are big -which I'm sure they are- they will separate and send groups through the three hallways that branch from the main corridor." Everyone nodded, and Lance did so too, no matter how lost he was.

" Following that thought, we will divide in three groups, Shiro and Sven will ambush the ones on the path to the guest's quarters, Keith and I will take out the group going towards the control room, and...." His eyes landed on Lance, who jumped, not knowing what to do, or how to react, it was weird receiving orders from yourself, no matter how different this other version was, and his gaze was so intense he felt like shrinking and going away.

"You, Lance, will battle the group that's going into the storage area, their party will probably be smaller, since we don't really store anything there anyway, and they most likely know that. I don't feel comfortable sending you alone, but we have no choice, this is the best course of action." Lance nodded and bit his lip, gripping his Bayard tight. It was okay, he could do this, he had his pistols and his sniper rifle, he wasn't that bad at close combat, and he was sneaky enough that he could crawl away and lose the enemy if he needed to.

No worries.

He felt a hand on his shoulder and startled, jumping out of his skin, only then just noticing how tense he really was and how much his hands were shaking, his breaths short and mildly panicked.

"Hey, it's okay -he looked up towards his mirror self- I have confidence you can do this, you're me, after all, and Lance McClain never gives up, yeah?" Other him gripped his shoulder tighter, eyes never wavering from his own.

"I believe in you, I know you can do it, don't be scared, we will synchronize our comms with you so we can be in contact, and if you find yourself in trouble we will send reinforcements." Lance nodded, ashamed that he had panicked in front of everyone, and proceeded to link his radio feed with the other occupants on the room, feeling better at the thought that he wasn't alone and could contact them anytime.

Before exiting the room, though, he ran up to Kuron, to take away the inhibitor from his arm so he could fight, and to tell him that he had to message his team, let them know he was still alive so they wouldn't come storming at his lack of radio contact. He ran to a corner of the hangar, putting on his helmet and turning on his comms, some static filling his ears before Allura's concerned voice reached his ears.

_"Lance? Is something wrong?"_

"Princess, there's been a....slight change of plans. The inhabitants of this side are having trouble with some....invaders, they asked for my help in fending them off, I'm about to go do that just now." A few intakes of breath echoed through his helmet before the princess' voice spoke again.

 _"I see, and how is Shiro doing? Anything of importance to report?"_ He tried not to be hurt at the fact that se hadn't asked about him or how he was doing, those emotions would have to wait to a later date.

"He's actually doing good, getting his memories back as we speak, I think he's going to explain everything when this battle ends." Allura hummed softly, the sound of fingers tapping on a keyboard a constant background noise. "What is Pidge doing?" The tapping stopped and he heard a confused ' _Huh_?' before Pidge's voice replaced Allura's.

 _"How did you know I was doing anything?"_ He chuckled, picturing her pout.

"Only you can write so fast on a keyboard, Pidgeon, it's kinda obvious." She grumbled, and he heard the sound of feet scraping against the ground before she replied to him.

 _"I was hacking into your suit -_ Pidge! _\- you'll thank me later, as I was saying, I hacked into your suit to link the readings of your vitals to the castleship, that way we'll know if something happens to you."_ Lance tilted his head, not understanding her reasoning.

"If something happened to me, I would tell you, isn't that, like, unnecessary?" Both Pidge and Hunk -traitor- let out a loud _'Hah!'_ as if he'd just told the biggest joke in the universe.

 _"Lance, buddy, if you were hurt, we both know you wouldn't tell anyone because you wouldn't want to worry us. Breaking news, though, we would be worried anyways and probably flip if we found out you were injured, so yeah, for our peace of mind_ -Lance could picture Pidge, Hunk, Coran and Lotor nodding their heads in agreement- _we wanted to be sure you were healthy._ " Lance sighed and shook his head, chest filling with warmth at his friends' caring nature, shaking away some of his fear in the face of what he was about to go up against. He was about to retort something witty to bring a laugh out of his friend when his own voice rang from behind him, it's tone urgent and stern.

"Lance, we need to go, there's not much time." He nodded, his back still turned to his doppelgänger, and proceeded to say goodbye to his team for now so he could focus on the battle ahead.

"Sorry guys I gotta - _who was that? He sounded just like you_ \- sorry Pidge, no time, gotta go kick some alien butt, I'll contact you after it's over, yeah?" Some begrudging groans and whispers filled his feed, a lot of messages of ' _Be safe_ ' and ' _Take care_ ', _'Kick their ass'_ and some cheers sent his way as he laughed a little, turning off his comms with a quick _'See you later'._

As soon as he was finished, he turned on his heel and strided towards other Lance, who was waiting near the door with Keith close to his side. He instructed him towards where he needed to go, giving precise orders and tips to make his mission smoother, tricks and advice that were actually really useful for what he was about to do.

"I got it, I'll se you in a while, I suppose, maybe then, Ku- Shiro can explain to me how this happened, because I feel like I'm high on something or hallucinating at this point." Other him laughed, low on his throat as his mouth twitched in the beginnings of a smile, and he patted Lance's cheek affectionately before growing serious again.

"Don't be reckless, we still need to talk about many things, follow my instructions and you'll be fine, roger?" Lance stilled, hand itching to do the formal salute they taught him at the garrison, but the notion of doing that to himself was hilarious and disconcerting, so he just nodded and held his pistols to his chest, grinning.

"Roger that, team leader." And with that, other him was walking away towards the hallway, though he turned back one last time and took Lance's helmet -that was now resting on his hand- to put it gently over his head again, the visor immediately obscuring itself like it did when he first arrived.

"Don't forget to keep your helmet on, okay? It will keep you safe." His doppelgänger's look was mildly troubled, and he had a feeling that he knew something Lance didn't, which unnerved him. But he just replied an affirmative and watched as other him left, Keith staying behind for a tick, eyeing him in wonder before muttering a quick _'Be careful_ ' and following after his companion, footsteps fading as they rounded the corner and disappeared.

"Okay, time to do this. Blue, you still with me?" Blue had been silent ever since both Lance's had met, her presence subdued but always staying in the corner of his mind, as if she was waiting for something. Lance had a feeling she had known all along, that she had solved the mystery long before he even had an inkling of the truth, and if she wasn't saying anything now, maybe it wasn't the appropriate moment yet.

He had learnt not to question ten thousand year old mechanical lions a _looong_ time ago, so for now, he would just roll with it and hope she didn't take long to fill him in.

A soft purr on the back of his mind told him that he was right, and after this battle, most of his questions would probably be answered, and that piece of information pushed him onwards, filled with determination to learn more about these people that shared his destiny, and maybe, just maybe, find some data about their Shiro and where he was.

It was a long shot, but he found preposterous that not even a tiny bit of info would be here.

With that in mind, he darted towards his right, to a dark hallway with flashing emergency lights that probably powered up when the pirates had invaded the castle. He ran as he clutched his Bayard tight - it made him feel safe - and didn't stop until his comms came back to life, other him's voice filling the silence.

 _"Lance, you should be close to them right now, go down the left corridor and then take a right turn, then go straight for a while and you should see the enemy, contact me or the others if you need help, okay?"_ The transmission cut as soon as the message had been delivered, and Lance followed the instructions to a T, rapidly finding himself in a hallway that had many vantage points for a sniper like him. He quickly jumped up high and hoisted himself onto a metal tube on the ceiling, climbing towards a small ledge that jutted from one of the walls.

As soon as he wa positioned, he changed his Bayard to it's sniper rifle, looking through the scope towards the far north hallway, expecting some pirates to appear at any moment. He wasn't disappointed, as a few ticks later, three aliens - quite bizarre looking - advanced cautiously towards his position, weapons in hand, looking in all directions before continuing onward.

And since he had chosen a spot that blocked their view of him, he had free reign to snipe away and take them out, though he knew that he had to be quick, because sooner or later, his shots would give away his location, and then he would have to move.

Taking in a deep breath, he steadied his hands, finger on the trigger, and let out a puff of air, slowly, carefully, moving his rifle in tandem with the pirate's movements, following them, their patterns, trying to predict their next move.

They stopped, and the first shot rang throughout the corridor.

A body hit the floor with a loud thud, and two more followed close after, weapons clattering to the ground with a clang, the noise echoing for a while before the place bathed in silence once again. From his place above ground, Lance heaved a sigh, jittery with nerves like he always did when he sniped, he knew he wouldn't miss, was aware of his own skills and aptitudes, but he couldn't help but tremble with nerves every time he had to be stealthy and deal with a mission in his own.

Calming down his breathing, he raked his eyes over the expanse of the connected halls below him, listening for any sounds or signals that indicated that more enemies were nearby. He waited for a total of five minutes before he determined that no one was there, other him had said, after all, that this group would be small, since there was nothing of importance on that side of the castle.

With a nod to himself, he decided to try and join the others, who would probably be fighting more enemies than him right now and would appreciate the help - he hoped - and proceeded to turn off his Bayard and climb down, jumping when he was a few feet off the ground. He straightened and was about to tap his helmet to turn on the comms, when a strong blow on his back threw him towards the floor, a yelp leaving his lips as he crashed hard.

He barely had time to get up and frown in confusion, seeing nothing around him, when something grabbed his wrist, nails digging into his skin and twisting it with force, making him scream in pain. And his instincts took over him, foot moving up on it's own in a kick that should have made contact with nothing but thin air, but hit something solid instead.

The hand that had grabbed him left, and he jumped back a few feet, cradling his now -most likely- broken wrist close to his chest as he heaved, eyes darting around frantically as he sought the enemy that hurt him. He came up empty, there was nothing, no sound, no movement, no enemy, it looked like he was alone, but he knew better than that, the hairs on the back of his neck stood on end, and he felt like he was being watched.

It figured that these professional assassins would have cloaking tech, just his luck.

He bit his lip as his body trembled, suddenly scared, how was he supposed to fight an enemy he couldn't see? His helmet couldn't pick up any heat signatures or readings of live forms around him, so the pirates were probably using a really advanced version of the same tech that Pidge had created, and that only meant trouble for Lance.

His best chance at survival right now was to get up and run away, then ask for back-up, and he did just that, got to his feet in record time before a loud, snapping sound reached his ears, and he found himself careening to the side, head colliding harshly with the metal wall as his helmet had flown away by an uknown force.

"Careful now, you don't want to kill him too fast, do you?" Lance heard a voice speaking, but he was too busy with the pounding of his head to pay attention, he had hurt his wrist even more whilst trying to soften his fall, and he had a feeling his forehead was bleeding, if the red clouding his vision was any indication. His vision was fuzzy and he felt as if the world was tilting, the dizzying motions only adding to his pain and nausea, and he had to bit his lip to stop a whimper from leaving his chest.

His ragged breathing was loud in his ears, and he tried to focus his vision again and again, only to fail and worsen his headache as he tried to hold himself up with his good hand, blinking furiously in a last attempt to see. The first thing he saw was his helmet, broken with a giant, smoking dent on it's left side, visor cracked and falling apart. The realization hit him hard and fast, those bastards had shot him in the head, and if it hadn't been for the piece of armor, he would have died, they didn't play around, they were professionals, Pidge had said so.

"Oh, oh man, we hit the jackpot, Gyhas!" He heard a voice speaking close to him, and struggled to move away, get his Bayard and blast those guys away.

"What do you mean, Lehiks?" Another, deeper voice asked, tone serious in a way that meant business.

"Look at his face! I can't believe our luck, thank the stars we didn't kill him, the reward will be even bigger if we get him alive." A loud cackling filled the area and he'd finally managed to get on his feet, ready to bolt away as best as he could. But a hand, rough and with sharp claws gripped his neck from behind, raising him from the ground, the hold tight enough to cut off his breath to some extent, leaving him vulnerable and on the verge of passing out.

"I dont know, he kinda looks like him, but he also doesn't." A hand touched his face, and he snarled, biting forward and smirking when his teeth found flesh, a yelp and a smack following the action.

"Well, he's a feisty one, isn't he?" The same emotionless voice from before spoke, sending chills down Lance's spine. " I can see the resemblance, the factions and coloring are a match, I would say he's definitely him, it looks like he changed his appearance to pass by unnoticed." Lance tried to look around, to get a look at the faces of the guys speaking nonsense, but his vision was hazy to the point of blurry silhouettes, and he could barely breathe.

"Yeah, you're right, I mean, if I had a bounty on my head as big as he does, with more than half the universe trying to track me down, I would get shifting surgery too." The guy holding his neck spoke, and a wave of disgust washed over Lance when his breath fanned his neck, struggling in vain, trying to get some distance in between them.

"He must of had a good surgeon, he took away the scars and even made him look younger, the haircut is a nice touch, too, I wouldn't mind getting the number of this doctor." The pirates laughed, the sound grating Lance's ears as he desperately thought a way to free himself.

"The reward we will get for giving him to the empire alive will be enormous, we'll be able to retire forever, this is the best heist we've ever done." He heard as they high fived, and, desperate and ready to give up, he tried asking Blue for help, felt as she was frantically trying to do something - had been for a while now - murmuring sweet words of comfort, trying to soothe his fear and his clouded mind that was swirling in turmoil.

He didn't understand what they were saying, what they meant, what they wanted from him, he just knew he was going to fade, and they would take him someplace far away from his team, from his family, and the thought terrified him to the point of crying.

He felt the edges of his vision darkening, hands falling to his sides, and just when hopelessness overwhelmed him and the echoes of whispers filled his mind, the hand holding him disappeared and he fell to the ground in a heap.

Immediately after, he felt hands cradling him gently on someone's chest, patting his back as he coughed and hacked, trying to even out his breathing, his throat hurting with every breath he took, lungs burning with the effort. A hand caressed his cheeks, wiping the tears that he hadn't noticed were there, brushing his hair back from his forehead, mindful of the gash that still bled over his eyebrow.

From a distance, he heard the sounds of fighting mixed with Blue's purrs as she curled around him, worried and guilty and scared, sad that she hadn't been able to help him faster, and there were more feelings there, emotions from another source that clouded his mind and confused him for a moment.

There was anger, all encompassing and burning, then there was worry, fear, remorse, and sadness, such grief swirling inside the source, that it was only able to focus on destroying the enemy before it's eyes, mind too twisted to be able to concentrate on anything else.

Lance was too tired to try and discern who the source was.

When the sounds of battle finally stopped, he opened his eyes, watching as Keith glanced at him, concern overtaking his features, hands still holding him close to his chest as his long, midnight hair tickled Lance's face while swaying softly.

"Lance, are you okay? Can you hear me?" Keith's voice was as sweet as the first time he heard it, and his brows hunched in worry, lips puckered slightly, it was....endearing, for some reason. Later, Lance would reason that such thoughts were brought up by his concussion and oxygen deprivation, for now, though, he watched this strange version of Keith in wonder, marveling at the purple and magenta of his eyes and how they shone brightly.

"He's pretty out of it, we need to treat his injuries first." He recognized other him's voice, his own voice, and picked up instantly on the layer of guilt ridden on every word. "I thought with the helmet on, he would be safe....guess I was wrong, I should have never sent him alone." A sigh, and then a hand patted his cheek, and Lance hummed, tilting his head to look at whoever was there.

"It's not your fault, the systems were offline, we couldn't have known the numbers they sent to this group, the strategy you made was the correct one, we just didn't have the right intel to proceed accordingly." Lance tilted his head to the other side, watching as Keith tried to console other him, expression fond and gentle, something that he never thought he'd see on Keith's face.

A loud exhale, and then other him was talking again. "Okay, yeah, what's done is done, we need to evaluate the situation, Shiro is finishing them off and cleaning the place, for now, though, let's take care of young me. Up you go." Strong hands lifted him off the ground and into someone's arms, a small yelp leaving his lips in a gasp as his sore body was jostled momentarily.

"Hey, it's fine, you're okay, we'll take care of you, the wounds aren't that severe, you'll be as good as new in a little bit." It was strange -Lance mused - to be reassured by himself, he still had a hard time grasping the concept of the reality he was living, and hoped the answers he sought were going to be in his grasp soon.

When Blue chimed inside his mind, comforting and earnest, he knew he was going to get what he wanted, he just hoped he would be strong enough to endure the truth.

He barely noticed when they arrived at the med bay, or when they laid him down onto a bed and began looking at his injuries, assessing the damage before beginning to treat it. From what he'd managed to put together, he had a concussion, a gash on his forehead and lip, a broken wrist , some broken ribs, and his throat had been wrecked, he probably wasn't going to speak very well for a while.

He blinked for a second and felt like he'd blacked out, one moment other Lance and Shiro were hovering over him, worriedly taking care of his injuries, and the next they were gone, sitting on a couch on the far end of the room. He groaned and tried to get up, disoriented for a moment, but, as soon as he sat upright, the memories of the previous encounter washed over him, like a tidal wave dragging him under, thoughts muddled and tugging him in different directions.

Then one thought came to the forefront of his mind and he paled.

Pidge had his vitals linked to her station, she had probably seen them fluctuate, the team was probably panicking and thinking of sending someone through the gate.

He had to contact them.

Rushing out of the bed he was in - wich wasn't his brightest idea - he tumbled to the floor, falling on his knees, and tried to reach his helmet that lay on the table close to him, huffing I frustration when he couldn't do something as simple as that.

A hand appeared before him, outstretched and waiting, and he looked up to see a worried Kuron...Shiro? handing him his helmet as he hovered close by. Lance reached for it without thinking, too tired and stressed to over think his decisions at the moment, and with Kuron's help, he sat on the bed again, hissing softly when his ribs flared, his chest burning at the motions.

Rapidly, he put on the helmet and turned on the transmissor, expecting chaos and mayhem on the other side.

He began with a hesitant "Hi.", and after a minute of silence - that flared his nerves to unsuspecting levels - he heard a scream and numerous voices saying his name.

 _"Holy shit, what the hell Lance! This was not a good idea, I knew it wasn't, you shouldn't have turned off your comms, you scared the living shit out of me!"_ Pidge sounded on the verge of a breakdown, and he suddenly wished they had managed to program visual comms and not only audio, because he would really like to see her face right about now, everyone on the team, really.

Because he was on an unfamiliar place, and this Shiro was - definitely now - not their Shiro, and he was surrounded by people that were as familiar as they were strangers, and the whiplash he got from interacting with them while thinking about their counterparts, threw him for a loop that was, for all intents and purposes, puzzling as hell.

"Pidge, Pidge! Breathe." She was mumbling and rambling and not breathing in between sentences, and he feared she would hyperventilate if she continued down that road. "I'm okay, I'm fine, I'm alive, listen to my voice, everything is okay." He listened intently, determined to help her even if the only thing he had to guide himself were the sounds of her breathing.

 _"Sorry, sorry, I'm okay, I just....panicked a little._ " That was an understandement, but he choose not to say anything in favor of explaining just what had transpired in hopes that his team would stay put. Because everything was a mess, he didn't know what he was doing, and he didn't want to drag them to this strange plane of existence if he could help it.

 _"What happened, Lance?"_ Oh, that was Allura's voice speaking to him, tight and tense, with a shaky quality to it that he wasn't used to listen in her. _" Your vitals got all over the place a while ago, and then they dropped to the point of great injury. Are you alright?"_

"Yes, yeah, you can see it on your screen, I suppose, but I'm healthy now, beaten up and kinda sore, but I'll live. We just had a few problems with the intruders on the ship, they caught me by surprise and everything went downhill from there." He scratched the side of his head, wincing when he touched the huge band aid like cloth, remembering that he had hit his head quite hard when he fell.

 _"I see, are you certain that you do not need reinforcements?"_ That was Lotor's voice, worried and tight, breathy like he'd just ran a marathon and was trying to catch his breath. He bet the Galran was twitching nervously on his seat, wanting to offer himself as a volunteer to go and find Lance. But until he had the situation under control and knew that his friends would be in no danger whatsoever, he was going to do his best to keep them away.

"I'm sure, the guys here saved me and treated my wounds, and the pirates are gone, so no need to worry, really. I wouldn't lie to you, Lotor." A deep sigh was his only answer, and then another voice he longed to hear reached his ears.

 _"Lance, dude, don't do this, come back, man, whatever is in there is not worth your life or your health. If there is so much danger, just, leave, don't look back."_ He would've loved to listen to Hunk, really, but....as his eyes raked over the people ocupating the room - landing on Kuron and Keith for a tick longer - he knew he couldn't leave, something was going on here, and he had a feeling deep in his gut that he needed to help, that there was something only he could do.

Blue suddenly appeared by his side, purring in contentment, conveying that it was a good decision to stay, even if for a while, repeating over and over again that _'Blue was needed, Blue would help, he would make things right',_ and even though he didn't know who or what she was referring to, he had no reason to doubt her.

Her assurance encouraged him to keep his word, steel himself, and stay, and so he relayed to his team.

"Sorry Hunk, can't do that, there's some stuff going on here - I'll explain later when I actually know the whole story - but I have a feeling it's important, trust me."

 _"I trust you and your judgement, man, but I'm worried, you can't blame me for that. You're god knows how faraway, and we can't get to you immediately if something happens, it's kinda nervewracking.....or more like terrifying._ " Lance smiled to himself absent-mindedly, he knew that if he was in Hunk's place, he'd be a mess, probably dying of anxiety and worry, he'd never been able to stay still for too long, and the wait would have probably driven him insane.

"I know, but I really need to find out what's happening here, I'll get all the intel I can and report with what I find, okay? I know you guys probably don't want me to turn off the transmissor but....I won't be able to focus with you speaking in my ear." He frowned, knowing how much his team didn't want him to do that, but he needed his attention elsewhere, and he couldn't risk being distracted and missing in on important info that could help against the Galra or finding Shiro or something.

" _Okay..., okay. Lance, I entrusted you with this mission because I knew you there was no other choice, but also because I knew you would do what was necessary to succeed, because I knew you wouldn't fail and would do what was best for the team and the mission. So, if you think this is the best course of action...I will.....I believe in you. Stay safe, please._ " Allura's last words were but a whisper, but he caught them anyway and kept them close to his heart, relieved to see that her grudge had, indeed, disappeared almost completely.

He couldn't wait to go back and speak to her like she promised, it felt like a part of himself was missing, and he knew he wouldn't feel whole again until his bond with the princess and Keith had mended. He knew for obvious reasons, since they couldn't form voltron, but also because when he looked at his wrist, there were only three bracelets; blue, green, and orange, three more were missing. One he knew he wasn't able to regain yet, and the other two were -hopefully - in the path of healing and connecting again, he just needed more time and a chance to speak with both teammates when the time was right.

"I will, don't worry, I'll come back soon." The connection fizzled out with a click, his teammates voices bidding him ' _goodbyes_ ' and ' _see you laters_ ', and he thought he heard a small, familiar voice whisper ' _Come back safe'_ , but it could have been his imagination, he didn't even know if Keith was on the control room back at the castle.

A hand on the small of his back startled him back to the present, and he whirled around to watch as Keith supported him, just now noticing how badly he was trembling and how hard he was shivering. He blinked, confused, and stared as the other took his helmet from his head, settling it on the bed to his right, approaching him slowly and with a small frown marring his -strangely- nice features.

"Are you okay? Do you hurt anywhere?" Lance shook his head. "I'm sorry if I interrupted your talk, but our companions are coming to meet us, and I thought you would want to hear what they have to say and, maybe share your own input." He graced Lance with a small smile that was obviously there with the sole purpose of cheering him up, since the other's eyes were still filled with uncertainty and concern. It didn't work as well as it should have, but he appreciated it nonetheless.

"Yeah, that's a good idea, help me get over there?" He tried to keep his tone upbeat and carefree, but this Keith huffed and shook his head, muttering about _'being the same'_ and _'troublesome duo'_ before crouching down slightly to scoop him up. Before he could, though, another person's arms were there, hoisting him up effortlessly as he let out a surprised yelp, clutching said person's neck in a death grip and squawking when his injuries were jostled.

"Lance!" Keith's exasperated voice echoed throughout the room. "What are you doing? You could have hurt him!" Lance looked up, and it was, indeed, his other self who was carrying him, brows pinched together and mouth settled on a pout.

"I'm being careful enough, you don't need to break your back over this." Keith narrowed his eyes and crossed his arms, and Lance raised an eyebrow as he watched the drama unfold.

" _Lance_ \- he said in a deadpan tone- you know I'm way, way stronger than you, I carried you with one arm last week because you hurt your ankle and refused to walk. What's this really about?" Lance felt as his other self laughed nervously, stepping back and turning around to go towards the big couch where Kuron and Sven were sitting.

"I don't know what you're talking about." Even without looking at him, Lance could feel as Keith's eyes narrowed even more, his footsteps loud behind them.

"Oh.... _Oh_!" A sudden noise of realization left Keith's lips, and then he was giggling, honest to god giggling, Lance felt like he was on the twilight zone. "I can't believe this, this is priceless! You're....- giggle - you're jealous of _yourself_?" His other self stopped for a tick, and Lance watched -still not understanding what was going on but enjoying it anyway- as the tips of his ears reddened, and he cleared his throat before striding forward, settling Lance down on the couch gently as Keith laughed from behind, clearly amused.

"Shut up, Keith." His other self grumbled, crossing his arms like a child throwing a tantrum. Lance was about to ask them to explain when the doors on the right opened, and three people entered, one of them a blur as they raced towards the couch, flinging himself at Kuron, who fell down with an 'oof', the other person clinging to him like a koala.

"Oh my fucking god, Takashi!" The person on top of Kuron hugged the latter with so much force and desperation, that Lance thought he was going to crush the man, but Kuron only laughed, the sound wet and choked. The older man reached both his hands upwards to rest on the other's cheeks, his eyes full of adoration as tears slowly fell down his own cheeks.

"Mattie, jesus, I missed you _so_ much." Said guy finally dislodged himself enough for Lance to see him, a beaming smile lighting up his whole face as he stared down at Kuron like he put all the stars in the sky. Lance had a sudden flashback to that time when Hunk discovered Pidge's photo with -what they learnt later was - his brother, the same brother that stood a few feet before Lance peppering Kuron's face with kisses as he held him tight.

But just like everything else on this place, he was different from the photo he had seen, his eyes were more slitted, thought still the same shade of brown that he remembered, and he had a scar on the side of his lip and on the side of his nose, the cut going from his left eyebrow to below his right eye.

His hair was slightly longer and a bit more curly, and a braid on his left side fell all the way to his chest, a blue ornament hanging from the hairtie at the end. His clothes were unfamiliar to Lance, a mix between casual and alien, the end product nothing he could describe without having to think too long about it.

He was so busy staring at the lovely duo, that he nearly missed the other two people who entered the room.... _nearly_ being the keyword here, because as soon as he caught sight of them from the corner of his eye, he gaped, and gaped, and stared, dumbfounded.

Behind the couch, staring at both men on the sofa with a kind look, filled with fond exasperation, stood Pidge, but it was definitely not _his_ Pidge, even though he recognized her right away, her features too unique for him not to notice.

She was definitely older, and way, way taller than he remembered, almost as tall as her brother. She wore green rectangular glasses that framed her face and some black piercings on her ears and eyebrow, making his eyes widen in surprise.

Her hair had been cut short, like, extremely short, similar to Lance's own hairstyle but different, it was completely shaven on her right side from the area of her fringe to behind her ear, while the rest of her hair was styled to the left and slightly upwards, giving her a bed head look that suited her like Lance could've never imagined.

He continued gaping even as she patted her brother's back, saying how glad she was that Shiro was back and that he finally reunited with his boyfriend, then she called them drama queens, and both men chuckled, sitting upright but never breaking their embrace.

Slowly, almost scared, he shifted his gaze to Pidge's right, and oh man, there stood Hunk, his best friend of more than 10 years, and he nearly cried at the familiar face. His features, so similar to his own Hunk, making him miss his space family even more than he already was.

Hunk looked more or less the same as his counterpart, though there were some changes. Just like the other guys, Hunk was aged by a few years, hair slightly longer and tied into a small ponytail high above his neck. He had a tatoo on the side of his face, close to his ear, going all the way down to his neck, where it disappeared under his shirt, and he had some goggles on his head and some strangely familiar earrings hanging from his ears.

Hunk seemed to be debating about whenever he should give the guys on the sofa a hug now, or wait until they separated -he knew Hunk like the back of his hand, he knew that look- and eventually decided to hold them both in between his - extremely muscular, holy shit - arms and squeezing the life out of them, possibly to prevent Shiro from disappearing again - _Lance knew the feeling_ -.

He left them go after a while, and Lance tried to avert his gaze, didn't want to look like a creeper, but then Hunk caught him mid action, and before he had time to react, the older version of his best friend ran towards him, eyes darting between Lance and his older self, a knowing look crossing his face before he smiled, big and bright.

"Oh my gosh, Lance! There's a younger, cuter version of you!" Hunk squealed, happiness radiating from him as he swept Lance on his arms, hugging him softly and cooing, murmuring things like 'what a blast to the past' or 'you used to be so small' and similar.

"Why do you guys keep saying that? I'm still cute!" Six pairs of eyes landed on him, their expressions incredulous and appraising, they hummed at the same time, but no one said anything. Other Lance's face fell, and he pouted, turning his back to them like he had been personally offended.

"Don't worry Lance." Keith's melodic voice cut through the silence. " I think you're still cute." Lance gaped, spluttering as his face reddened, his other him turning around to frown at Keith as the other leaned in, whispering something in his ear that made his doppelganger still and blush all the way to the tip of his ears.

Lance didn't even want to know what Keith had told him to achieve that reaction.

As Hunk settled him down on the couch again, noticing his bandages and being overly careful, he saw Pidge approaching from the corner of his eyes, the way she was looking at him unsettling, reminding him just how terrifying a curious Pidge could be.

"Amazing, how did this come to happen? Where did he come from? Is he from the past? I don't think so, armor doesn't match. Is he a copy, a clone? Is he a _robot_?" She kept asking questions, never stopping to let anyone give her any kind of answer, and Lance was getting increasingly anxious with the stream of never-ending questions he had no answer for.

Yet, anyway.

He was saved from her interrogation by other him, who cleared his throat before addressing her.

"Katie, if you would please stop for a minute, we could maybe find out what you are so intently asking. And since Slav is not here, we need you to make sense of the situation." His tone was serious, but coated with a layer of fondness that made Pidge, or Katie, in this case, walk some distance away from him, nodding her head as she sat on one of the couches, Hunk following her example.

From the other couch, Matt let out a yelp, eyes wide as he glanced at Lance, hand tugging at Kuron's sleeve until the other leaned down to listen to what he had to say, both talking in whispers too low for him to hear. Only Sven seemed cool with what was happening, waving a hand at Lance, a smile on his face, it looked like he wasn't worried at all, taking everything in stride, just going with the flow.

He liked Sven.

"Okay." Other him took a deep breath, sitting just in front of Lance, Keith at his side -which still surprised him to no end - both focusing their gaze on him. "I think introductions are in order, tell us a bit about yourself, Lance."

"Uh....well, okay, my name's Lance, I'm eighteen -a few gasps reached his ears - I come from Earth, uh....I have a big family and live by the beach..." He raked his brain for more to say. "I'm the blue paladin of Voltron and me and my team are fighting alongside Princess Allura to put an end to the Galra empire." The complete silence that permeated the room froze him to the spot he sat in, breath caught in his throat at the tension that stifled the air around him, his body trembling slightly, as if awaiting for disaster to happen.

He didn't dare look up, didn't know what he said to make the atmosphere so gloomy and edgy, he clutched his hands tight on the couch and was about to close his eyes, reach for Blue for comfort, intent on alleviating the stress he was suddenly experiencing.

He didn't have to.

"Could you.....elaborate on that?" Other him's voice spoke calmly, but there was an undertone of anger and hurt, disbelief and pain hidden there, and maybe the only reason he noticed was because he knew his own voice pretty well, knew what tone he used to hide his fear and the one he applied to deal with insecurity and nerves.

Lance blinked, confused for a tick. "About our battle as Voltron?" Other him nodded, body taut and strung, like he was ready to bolt at any minute, looking distressed. " Sure, I can do that, it all began when Hunk and I found Pidge searching for aliens back at the Garrison...."

\--

It took him the good part of an hour, but he retelled their adventures as defenders of the universe, from finding Shiro and Blue, to meeting Allura and Coran, the balmera, the Olkari, missing Shiro, meeting Lotor....he told them everything, Blue humming on the back of his mind, assuring him that his trust was not misplaced, encouraging him to interact with them.

When he'd finally finished his tale, all those present looked flabbergasted and aghast, still as a marble statue, eyes so wide he feared for their well being. All but Kuron, who looked at Lance with sadness and a well concealed pity, an emotion that he couldn't understand being directed at him.

It wasn't like he was miserable or anything like that, he missed his family, yeah, and he would give anything to see them once again and explain the situation, but he had a responsibility with the universe and it's people, and he wasn't so selfish and cowardly that he would abandon all of them for his own desires. He'd also been feeling a little misplaced, a little lonely and unimportant, back when he was normal, just Lance without the power of redo, but he'd realized that some of those feelings were brought by his inability to stop acting, his mask keeping the people around him at an arm's length.

And as soon as he'd stopped and showed his true self, things had improved greatly, and they could have gotten even better if some weird dead people hadn't thought he was a good candidate to do their bidding for them. So yeah, he had his problems and his life wasn't perfect, he may doubt and hesitate and lose his way sometimes, but he didn't want, nor need, anyone's pity, it only served to frustrate him more.

"Okay..." A breathy whisper came from his other self."Okay, that's....a wild story, but I don't think you're lying, but then....this means...." He ran his hands down his face, groaning in distress.

"It's really easy, this young Lance is from another reality, end of story." Pidge rolled her eyes, saying that piece of information like it was nothing, like it didn't turn Lance's world upside down and squashed any hope he had on finding their own Shiro.

He wasn't stupid, he had noticed as soon as he saw a guy with his own face that something was fishy and not quite right, ans his first conclusion was that he'd traveled to the future, that the gate somehow warped time and space and flung them a few years onward. He had wanted to deny till the last minute the idea that maybe, he could have traveled to another dimension/universe/reality, because that meant that the Galra could somehow mess with the space time continuum, and there was, in fact, nothing here that would aid Voltron on finding their lost leader.

He had wanted to hope, till the very end.

It had been for naught.

"I noticed that, Katie, the armor didn't match, so he couldn't have been past me, and I talked enough with Slav that the idea of traveling between universes didn't seem so preposterous to me. But I didn't know why Shiro was with him, or who he was at first, and my mind was busy thinking about many things at once, so excuse me for being a little slow into deducting this." Pidge dismissed him with a wave of her hand, and other him gritted his teeth before addressing Lance again.

"Well, now that we know _you_ , I think it's time you know us." His companions nodded and he hummed, hands gripping his knees with enough force to cause wrinkles on the undersuit. " My name is, as you might have imagined, Lance McClain, twenty five years old, black paladin and leader of Voltron. Since it might be a bit confusing with both of us here, you can call me Alex, since my middle name is Alexey." Lance startled at that, a noise of confusion forming on his throat and escaping his lips.

"Alexey? Really? Mine is Alejandro, I heard that my dad wanted Alexey to be my middle name, but my mom refused, and when she says no, it means no. They agreed on Alejandro in the end." He chuckled, looking at Alex with a tiny smile lighting up his face. "So we have both the Defender of Earth and the Defender alongside the Defenders of the Universe, anyone see a pattern here?" The team laughed , their chuckles and snorts lifting up the tense atmosphere that had darkened everyone's moods, and he felt lighter and like he could finally breathe, the suffocating feeling finally gone.

"It's my turn now -Lance glanced at Keith- my name's Keith, red paladin, I'm two years older than Lan- Alex here, I'm half altean, half human, and I'm Shiro's and Sven's half brother." Lance nodded, still mesmerized by the way Keith's eyes shone purple and magenta, the red markings on his cheeks enthralling and his smile something that unnerved Lance without reason, not used to see the face pulled perpetually into a frown showing him anything other than annoyance.

He decided to focus on someone else, trying to regain his bearings and his eyes landed on Hunk, who pointed at himself. "Oh, me? I'm Hunk, same age as Alex, I'm a full fledged engineer, working at the castle and some other places, making sure everything works smoothly. I also work on the R&D, creating new weapons and shields, or amor, whatever we need, really." He beamed at Lance, and he couldn't help but beam back, a grin tugging at his cheeks as he reveled on the presence of his longest friend.

"I suppose I go now. Name's Katie, I'm a year younger than Hunk, engineer and head of the Department of Research and Development he works on, also the head of the Intel, IT, and Investigation Department, abbreviated I3." Lance just stared, amazed and dumbfounded at the same time. " I take care of everything technological and computerized, from hacking, to programming and spying, I do it all." She turned to her left, whacking her brother on the head, seeing as he was too busy making eyes at Shiro to pay attention, and he laughed, hasty and nervous before introducing himself.

"Ahhh, yep, I'm Matt, the old of the bunch, I'm thirty-one, a spy and the green paladin of Voltron." He wasn't expecting that revelation, and he nearly fell headfirst onto the floor when his hand slipped in surprise. "Ah, sorry, probably not what you were expecting to hear." Matt chuckled nervously, holding Kur-...Shiro' s hand - he needed to stop calling him Kuron- and hiding his face on the other's shoulder.

"Matt, stop being a leech, I feel like I'm melting, you're too hot." Shiro tried to pry him away, grunting and fake moaning when the other wouldn't budge. "Well, seems we're stuck forever like this, what did I do to deserve this?" Matt glared at him, eyes alight with fire.

"You disappeared for _two weeks_ , that's what you did!" Shiro looked guilty, and a dark cloud passed over his eyes, darkening his features into something sorrowful and full of pain, the look vanishing as quick as it came, leaving him rolling his eyes at Matt.

"I suppose I'll go now, I'm Takashi Shirogane, but people call me Shiro, you can call me White, if it makes things easier for you, I know how much you guys miss _your_ Shiro." His gaze was understanding, and Lance felt grateful, every time he called him by his leader's name, he felt guilty and inadequate, like he was betraying his Shiro in some way.

"I'm thirty five, Blue paladin of Voltron and twin brother of Sven here -he waved-who is the yellow paladin, he's the one that takes care of recon and rescue missions, and usually works with Slav, who has a knack for being on the right place, on the right time, with the right people. They have a high success rate, and really, they make a great team." Sven smiled at his brother, mouthing something that made White snicker and try to hide his mouth behind his hand, and Lance recognized the actions, he used to communicate with his siblings that way, secret messages that only them knew how to decipher.

"What else is there to say..."White tilted his head in wonder. "I'm Matt's boyfriend, as you already saw, and overall the cause of this whole mess, I think." He said the last part quickly, like he wanted to get it over with, as if ripping off a band-aid.

"What do you mean?" Lance tilted his head, not understanding where he was coming from.

"How do I explain...I'm having trouble remembering things, I can recall what I was doing before I disappeared, and I remember everything from after you freed me of the druid's control, but the in-between is fuzzy and, like, full of static. Nothing I try works, I'm missing a huge gap in there, but I can tell you this; the time I'm missing is definitely not two weeks, and the gate was created - knowingly or not - by whoever took me away, most possibly a druid."

"I remember I had finished my mission fairly quick, and I ran to the rendezvous point, this planet, to wait for Matt to pick me up. I was waiting in Blue when a strange energy made her agitated and nervous, and I wanted to leave and check it out."

" But then a clawed hand appeared behind me out of nowhere, grabbing the neck of my armor and tugging me back towards something. I recall seeing white hair and a dark cape, but after that, my memory fizzles out. Its the last thing I remember, from there on, it jumps to the moment when you liberated me." ' _Haggar_ ' was Lance's first though, she was sneaky enough and plenty evil to do something like this, she wrenched an innocent from his home, played with his mind, and twisted his whole being for the sole purpose of destroying Voltron, just like she'd done with Lotor, it was the same MO, it had been definitely her, he could feel it in his bones.

Just, how far was she willing to go? How many lives was she willing to destroy until she was satisfied? How deep did her venom run?

"They probably took me because I resembled your Shiro, they must have wanted me to take advantage of the situation, infiltrate your group and destroy Voltron from the inside. I'm just glad you managed to reverse the mind control in time and keep the damage I did to a minimum. And you also got me back home, back to Matt and my brothers.... I really can't thank you enough, Lance." Lance waved his hands around, flustered, but then sobered up a tick later, going over everything White had said.

"If you don't remember, then...." Lance trailed off, feeling like all his energy had just vanished.

"Yes..." White averted his gaze to the floor, as if ashamed."I can't tell you anything about your Shiro that I might have found out when I was captured, and I highly doubt that there's any data about him on this side. When they took me, the crossing was immediate, a split second, I don't think they stayed, or if they even had the power to do so." Lance stilled, a sudden revelation lighting up the lightbulb above his head. No one could cross realities just like that, Allura had said that only something like Voltron or made from the same material could travel in between dimensions, so, whoever took White, barely had the time to snatch him up, let alone stay or tinker with this reality.

There was nothing here that would help them find their leader, they were back where they started.

"I....sorry, but, I need to call my team....this was a recon mission, done with the purpose of finding our Shiro....if there's nothing here, I need to tell them....they are going to be crushed." _'Keith is going to be crushed'_ is what he thought, and Allura wouldn't fare any better, they had gotten their hopes up, _again_ , and Lance hated to be the one to tear them down, but false hope was as painful as having none at all.

The team nodded, giving him a bit of privacy -since he couldn't move around much - and reached for his helmet, turning on the comms and startling when it was an unexpected voice who answered him.

 _"Lance? Is something wrong?"_ He wasn't expecting to hear Keith, of all people, and felt the knot in his stomach and throat tighten. He didn't want to do this again, didn't want to hurt him further, but it seemed the responsibility of it always befell Lance, he had no choice.

"Ah, hi Keith, is Allura with you?" The silence stretched up for a bit before the red paladin answered.

_"Yeah, she's listening, she just came back from the library."_

"Okay, okay, I need to tell you guys something....probaby not what you wanted to hear, but....." He took a deep breath, clasping his hands as if in prayer." The Shiro that I took with me, the one that couldn't remember anything.....he's not a clone, definitely. He's....he is the Shiro of an alternate reality.....the gate leads to another world...his world." A few strangled gasps and some curses were heard through the transmission, and Lance felt excruciatingly guilty when he heard Keith's breath hitch, the sound tearing him apart.

 _"I figured as much."_ Allura spoke.

"Uh? What do you mean?" He wiggled his legs, changing position to sit cross-legged.

 _"Ever since we 'learnt' that Shiro was a clone, something had been bothering me, something was amiss and felt off, but the situation was really stressful and tense, and my mind couldn't grasp what it was."_ She paused, the rustling of clothes coming through.

 _"I knew there was some piece of information that I was missing, something that had eluded me, a fact I should have known but was lost, probably during the cryo sleep. Ten thousand years is a long time, after all, it had to have side effects."_ He nodded, remembering with sadness all that she had lost, everything she wouldn't get back, and now she had to add ' _memories_ ' to that list, it wasn't fair.

_"While you were preoccupied with the affairs on the other side, Coran and I hunted down all the databooks on Clone tech, and today, we finally managed to find what we were looking for. And now I know why it unsettled me so, it was because my mind had a phantom memory of the knowledge I was missing, it inherently knew that it was impossible for Shiro to be a clone."_

_"Why?"_ The question came from Keith, voice strangled and raspy, it sounded like he was about to cry.

 _"The process to transfer the original's memories to the cloned body ended in disaster, as you already know, and the project was put on hiatus indefinitely by my father himself. But even back then, druids existed, and their thirst for knowledge was insatiable, they took the project under their wing and tried to used their powers to bring it to fruition."_ The princess' tone was filled with shame and disgust, like she didnt want to share the wrongdoings of her kind, but had no choice in the matter.

 _"They managed to complete the project, but...the process lasted years, and by the time all the memories were stored on the clone and it was fully functional, the original was so drained, and his quintessence so warped, that it was just an empty body left, no trace of how they originally were. Later, after my father discovered what those druids had done, he punished them and sent them to prison, their powers were repressed and all the data on the project destroyed."_ Lance gasped, horrified at the thought that some innocent alien had to suffer just so those people got the knowledge they wanted. It seems that, even back then, so long ago, druids weren't know for their kind hearts and harmless nature.

 _"And that means, what, exactly?_ " Pidge jumped in on their conversation, sounding like she was chewing something, probably just came from eating dinner.

_"It means, that, for this Shiro to be a clone, he'd had to have been missing for over....well, if my calculations are exact, two years and a half, at least, and that's just approximate. It was literally impossible for this Shiro to be a clone, or for any clone to exist, for that matter, since our Shiro has been missing just for a few weeks."_

_"That's....that's good isn't it? That means if we find Shiro we know it's gonna be him, and not some, warped up, creepier version of him, right?"_ Hunk's voice was a welcome distraction from the inner turmoil he was experiencing, and he focused on answering him instead of dwelling on the hopelessness of the situation.

"Yeah, I mean, I think time flows differently in between realities, since White _-who?_ \- sorry Pidge, since this Shiro said he thought he was missing for way longer, but it had been just two weeks in here. Still, it couldn't have been too long, nobody said anything about his appearance, so it's a high probability that he doesn't look a day older than when he left, or his brother and boyfriend would have said something." His explanation finished, he waited for the questions that were sure to come.

 _"Woah, hold on, boyfriend? Brother? Lance, Lance, am I on that reality too? Are we....are we cool on that reality, are we badass?"_ He chuckled at Pidge's question, his chest rumbling with the vibrations, typical that she would ask about how cool they are instead of focusing on the how different this reality is in comparison to theirs.

"Yeah, all of you are here, and man, you're cool as hell, my dudes. Though things are wildly different here, Matt is actually the green paladin _-say what?!!_ \- and Sven, Shiro's twin brother, is the yellow paladin."

 _"Matt.....he is...okay in there? Is he...._ \- he heard Pidge gulp, voice pained _\- is he happy there?"_

"He is, he really is, you two seem to care for the other a lot, teasing and messing with each other, and he has Shiro, too, you should see the way he looks at him, it's hilarious blackmail material." Pidge screeched, blubbering and ranting about many things at once while Lance cackled softly, forgetting for a moment all his troubles.

He was about to continue sharing fun facts about this alternate world when the alarms blared loudly, the sound screaming loud in his ears and making him yelp and cover them, trying in vain to stop the noise.

"Shit! Keith, go to the bridge with Hunk and prepare to make a wormhole jump! We need to get out of here now, now, now!" Lance looked to the side, watching Alex barking orders left and right, and just caught a glimpse of Keith's dark hair as he darted to the door at unbelievable speeds, Hunk hot on his heels.

"Wait, wait! What's going on? We're leaving?" He roused to his feet, ignoring his aches and pains, he would regret it later, but for now, he needed to know what was happening.

"Alex! Alex! What's happening?" Lance hobbled towards the other, gripping his sleeve and trying hard not to wince at the look directed towards him. Alex's eyes were wide with fear and regret, dread plain as day on his face as he held Lance's shoulders and stared unblinking at him.

"I'm sorry Lance, we don't have time. I don't know how it is in your world, but in here, if the empire catches a glimpse of you, you're as good as dead, they will lock on our location and follow us to the ends of the universe. I've managed to evade them for a long time, I can't let them catch me now." Alex bit his lip and his grip tightened.

"But-I- I need to go back! I need to board Blue and go back home!" He screamed, a feeling of dread falling over him as he trembled.

"You can't! If they see Blue they are going to try and capture you! And believe me when I say you won't be able to escape! No one has ever escaped from the empire!" He seemed so certain, said so with a finality that ran cold through Lance's veins, that he couldn't help the whimper that left his lips.

 _"LANCE!"_ Allura's voice ran throughout the comms, her voice desperate and filled with apprehension. "Lance! We heard everything, we are coming to retrieve you, stay put where you are, we will find that ship and get you back home, do not worry." He felt his blood freeze, multiple scenarios of what could go wrong filling his head.

Alex was convinced that no one would be able to defeat the Galra of his reality, Lance had seen him calm and collected, strategizing and leading, but the fear and terror he felt right now was almost palpable, it brought a sense of urgency to deny his team, protect them, keep them away.

 _'Keep them safe, don't let them get hurt, you promised yourself that you would use your power for them, for your family, for the people you love. Now is the time to put it to good use, don't be a coward, be brave, for them. You know what you have to do, Lance.'_ He gave himself a short pep talk, Blue humming sadly on the back of his mind, she wasn't encouraging him neither hindering him, she was merely supporting him silently in whatever decision he came to. And he was glad for that, for her company and understanding, because what he was about to do was, at the present moment, the scariest thing he'd ever done.

"Destroy the gate." Alex's eyes widened and he gasped, White and Sven mirroring him from behind while Pidge and Matt tinkered with the castle systems, preparing for a possible attack.

" _ **What?!**_ " The question was doubled, and for a tick his hearing made him dizzy, both his team and their counterparts had spoken at the same time, their tones incredulous and filled with so much fright. He felt himself gulp, terrifyingly guilty, but he steeled and tried to gather all the courage and determination he had within himself to go on. For his team.

"Destroy the gate. I don't care if you do it with the castle weapons or the lions - are they even here? - or whatever, just do it." Alex frowned, gaze filled with pain and anguish

 _"LANCE, stopt this! What are you saying?!_ " Allura's voice overlapped with Pidge's yelling and Hunk's pleading, Keith barking orders to board their lions. He needed to be quick.

"Do it Alex! I don't know what kind of technology the empire has here, but if it's enough to make you this scared, I don't even want to think about what they'd be able to do with the gate! And I can't let my team put themselves in danger because of me! I need to protect them, to protect our world! If this empire would find a way to cross, it would be chaos! Destroy it!" Alex's grip was so tight it hurt, but his mind was elsewhere, his feelings were all over the place, flowing freely since he wasn't restraining himself, and, normally, that wouldn't affect anything.

But right now, he had a bond with White, and that meant, even if he didn't know it at the time, that he had a bond with Blue -his Blue- too.

So it was no wonder he heard a mighty roar not a tick later, a fierce growl that came from outside the castle, a sweet voice he knew so well he was able to recognize it immediately. And he watched, mesmerized, how another Blue rose from behind a mountain, snow and ice flying in her wake as she flew, without pilot, guided by Lance's feelings of despair and need to protect, her mouth open as a blinding blue light formed within, ready to fire

 _"Lance! Please, do not do this, just wait a bit! We'll get you back in a tick, do not be rash!"_ The princess' voice reached him once again, this time with Lotor's growls as background noise, the prince seething and speaking loudly enough for him to hear what he was saying, even admist all the noise he was experiencing.

 _"Brother, stay put! Don't you dare leave us behind, we can take any enemy for your sake, trust us, wait for us, do not leave! You promised to come back home safe!"_ Lotor's words just worked to fuel his desire to keep them safe even more, and he took a deep breath, letting it out slowly and smiling sadly.

"Sorry, brother, sisters, I ....I lied. I don't know if I'll be able to keep that promise." A whine and some growls reached his ears, and he smiled despite himself. He squared his shoulders and narrowed his eyes, gaze focused forward.

"Allura, it's okay." Her panicked voice stopped. "Do you trust me?" Her breath hitched and she stuttered, her voice a near silent whisper as she spoke a tiny 'Yes', that one word finally being what brought his resolution to completion, his doubts forever erased.

"Then trust that I will find my way home, trust that I will do everything in my power to return. Wait for me." He didn't wait for a response, just found comfort on the words spoken on his behalf, from his friends, his brothers, his family, and even Keith. He let their voices fill his heart and soul with affection, the knowledge that they cared so much, and used it to fuel his resolution to unimaginable levels.

He channeled all his energy to Blue -his own Blue- and asked her with all the urgency he could muster to go towards the gate, go back home, wait for him there. He knew enough about alternate realities that he understood that two Blues in one universe would just bring chaos, and Allura would need her to be able to fight, she needed to go back before the gate was obliterated.

He was surprised to find Blue complying to his request rather quickly, but left that piece of information for a later date, when they weren't in immediate danger. He felt as she took flight, and watched from the window to his right as she flew at high speeds towards the gate, the other Blue waiting to fire the blast that would trap him on this reality for an uknown amount of time.

Blue roared, strong, fierce, and filled with love, and the words _'I'll be waiting, my paladin'_ echoed in his mind a tick before the other Blue fired, just as his lion crossed to the other side, the remaining lion flying to dock at the castle. The resulting explosion mixed with the wormhole jump of Alex's ship in a confusing flash of blinding lights and sounds, the castle shaking and sending Lance tumbling down to the right, colliding with something hard and sending him to the floor, making him dizzy and nauseous.

He thought he saw something white and blue out of the corner of his eye, from his position on the floor, some kind of battleship, and had a fleeting thought that the colors were wrong for the Galra, but then his mind decided to shut down for the time being, and he closed his eyes, and slept.

\--

He woke up to the sound of voices shouting and purrs rumbling all around him, the noise making him uncomfortable and aggravating his headache, making him groan.

"Shit, sorry Lance, didn't mean to wake you." That was Pidge's.....no, Katie's voice, she was to his left, apparently having a shouting match with White.

"S'okay, was' goin on." His voice was slurred, and he thought that he was either a) drugged up because of his injuries or b) really sleepy and out of it. Both were likely to be happening, and he took his time to roll around on what he assumed was a bed before he sat up, a yawn escaping his lips as he glanced around him.

Everyone was sitting or standing around him, their eyes filled with guilt and pity, and he wasn't on a bed, as he had thought, he was on the couch from before, that seemed like it could unfold to form some sort of bedding, which was neat. He looked questioningly at Alex, and said person walked towards him and slightly bowed his head, Lance jumping in surprise.

"I'm sorry, Lance, I know my words won't mean anything now, to you. But I am sorry, as a leader, I have failed, I couldn't send you back home even when you brought Shiro back to us, even thought you saved him. I was overcome by my fear and apprehension and lost my temper, and now you have to deal with the consequences, I hope you can forgive me." Alex bowed even more, hands clutched tight together, and from behind, the rest of the team mirrored him, their eyes telling him that they were sorry too.

Lance sighed, and ran a hand through his hair, just now noticing the purrs around him, they felt strangely familiar, and a questioning sound left his lips before he could stop himself.

"What is it? Are you hurt anywhere?" Sven approached him calmly, running his hands through Lance's hairline and neck, then down to his ribs and other places, making sure he wasn't bleeding or aggravating his injuries.

"No, I'm okay....I just....I heard the lions? But that's impossible, Blue left, so I shouldn't be able to hear them right now, since they are, technically, not my lions anymore." White made a ' _Oooh_ ' sound and scratched the back of his neck sheepishly, taking a seat to Lance's side, Matt following suit and holding hands with him, eyes never straying from Lance's own.

"Sorry, I wanted to tell you before, but with everything that happened....well, I forgot." Lance nodded, now curious. " Remember when I told you that I knew why I couldn't pilot Black, back then?"

"Yeah....you never elaborated on that..." White scratched at his chin, humming.

"It was because I remembered something, it was fleeting, and confusing, but I knew more or less what it meant. I couldn't pilot the Black lion because you were it's paladin."

"What? No, no, I'm the blue paladin. Alex is the black paladin." White nodded.

"Exactly. The thing is, if I had tried to pilot _your_ Blue, back on your own reality, I could have done so." He still didn't understand where White was going with this. "How do I explain...Blue showed me, a long time ago, how the lions worked, more or less. It was a bunch of images and sounds crumpled together, mixed with feelings and metaphysical stuff, a lot of things about realities and universes and....way too much for a human brain to handle."

"But I got the gist of it. The lions are....how to say it....infinite, eternal....contstant? I think that's close enough. The lions exist on every reality at the same time, past, present, future, on every universe and alternate dimension there is, the lions exist. And by that, I don't just mean they are there and each of them is different. They are one and the same." Lance groaned, he wasn't good at riddles, and this looked like a complicated one, he just wanted straight answers, _please_.

"I don't get it, sorry. My mind is blanking right now." White chuckled, nervous.

"Yeah, the same happened to me back then. To put it on easy terms.... _your_ Blue is also _my_ Blue, and the Blue of the future, and the past, and the one on another reality where, say, Hunk is it's paladin. The lions share a consciousness, they live and exist at the same time as every counterpart in each world, their quintessence is linked to every version of themselves out there, so, technically, _my_ Blue is _your_ Blue, do you get what I'm saying?" He frowned, thinking hard, trying to grasp a concept that he had never thought about.

"Blue lives your present with _you_ as her paladin, but she also lives my present with _me_ as her paladin, and she lives many other presents with others as her paladins, on other realities, all at the same time. The lions are constant, continuous, no matter what Blue you may encounter and what soldier rides her, you are still her paladin, and so am I, in any world." Lance gasped, finally getting the gist of what he was saying, then, that meant that-

"Yes, I see you finally understand. The reason I couldn't pilot Black was because I'm not her paladin, I am Blue's. So, right now, if you wanted to pilot _my_ Blue, you would be able to, since she is also _your_ Blue. I bet she's talking to you right now, the same as she'd always done, because nothing's changed, one of her bodies just went back, but the other is still here, she can still communicate with you, she is still with you." Lance felt the need to laugh hysterically, the situation more bizarre than he could have ever imagined, and Blue -his baby Blue, White's Blue - rumbled in excitement, as he finally understood why she felt the need to link him to White.

She had wanted to be connected to both her paladins, the chance too good to pass up, she wanted to make the bond grow stronger, wanted Lance to understand that he wasn't alone, that White was not an enemy, nor a clone, and that he needed to get him back home, and come with, maybe to help, maybe to understand, maybe just to be made aware.

Whatever the reason, he now knew that the lions were far more powerful and limitless that he'd ever thought. And the idea filled him with a sense of security, of calm, because with beings like them by their side, how could they ever lose? There was no way, and Blue roared in agreement, her usual, bubbly self nuzzling his chin and purring softly, content to be with her paladin, to keep him company in this dire situation.

"That's....a lot of info to digest, and the reality that I'm stuck here for god knows how long is just now downloading into my brain, coupled with the fact that I'm alone here and kinda lost about what to do now and I think I'm going to cry." He actually teared up, he didn't regret what he'd done to protect his team, not now, nor ever. But he was coming to terms with the fact that he didn't know what to do, or how to proceed, and he wasn't going to be able to see or speak to his team and that....that hurt more than he'd thought.

He was trapped on an unfamilar place, with people that resembled his family but were _not_ , he felt like an intruder, an outsider, and it wasn't nice. His breath hitched and he pressed the heels of his hands to his eyes, trying to keep the tears at bay, a hand, which he supposed was White's, running through his back softly in circles in a calming manner.

"I'm sorry you had to do that. I never wanted for anything like that to happen, we could have sent you back home sooner, but with everything that was happening...." A sigh left White's lips. "If the gate hadn't been destroyed then maybe-" He interrupted the other, uncovering his face as he glared fiercely at him, his fire burning bright again.

"No. I don't know how the empire is here, but you guys seemed scared enough that leaving the gate open wasn't an option. Though the main reason I did that was to prevent my team from crossing the gate, didn't want them to endanger themselves for just me. It's better than I'm the only one trapped here, instead of all of us." White shut his mouth with a click, jaw clenched tight and eyes filled with remorse.

"I see. You're a good person, Lance. And a good friend, I can see why Blue choose you." White smiled, though small and pained, and Matt nodded from his side, eagerly trying to start conversation with Lance.

"Yeah, It's really selfless what you did to protect your world and your team. I'm sure they are really proud of you." Matt smiled, bright and vibrant, and Lance had a second to see his aura, a rich honey color that hugged his body and White's, swirling like a caress around his waist.

"More like, they'll be really mad, but, well, at least they will be safe from the Galra, god knows what kind of scheme they would have come up with if they discovered two Voltrons. They could have thought of conquering other realities with the knowledge that there existed a way to cross, and that would be real bad." Only silence answered him, and he felt once again the dread that made his breath stop and his body freeze, awaiting a bomb to drop.

And drop it did.

" The....Galra? I think you are mistaken." Keith's voice spoke for the first time in a while. " The Galra have been our allies since the beginning of this war. What we're fighting against is the Altean Empire, ruled by Queen Allura herself." Lance stopped breathing altogether, his brain not comprehending the words spoken to him, he shouldn't have been surprised, this was another reality, Slav had told him they could be wildly different in a myriad of ways.

He just wasn't prepared to hear that one of the people he admired and looked up to the most, someone he respected and was willing to fight for, was a tyrant similar to Zarkon in this world, it was like a knife to the gut, and he refused to believe it.

"That can't- it's not- Allura would never -" Alex silenced him with a look, utter fury and regret and anguish swimming in his eyes, desperation basking his every being, shutting Lance up quickly. He knew how hopelessness looked like on his own face, how despair and agony furrowed his brows and made his lips wobble, how his breath would hitch and his voice would sound wrecked, his tone no longer calm but trembling with contained sobs.

"Maybe not _yours_ , but this Allura, the _Queen_ of the late Altean Empire, won't stop at anything until the universe is at it's knees before her, she's ruthless and has no mercy left to give. Not even- not even to her- to the people who loved her, she won't stop until she catches us, until she gets her claws on _me_ and rips me apart, she will never stop." Alex clenched his eyes, fist tightening and biting his lip until he drew blood.

"Wha-? What do you mean by that? Why would she go after you?" Lance was utterly confused and panicking, this wasn't okay, this wasn't supposed to happen, he wasn't ready to deal with anymore bullshit. He couldn't breath, his voice sounded hysterical to his own ears and he was shaking so hard, White had to side hug him to stop him from toppling over to the ground.

Alex laughed, demented and crazed, an anguished smirk twisting his features into something heart wrenching. " She has a vendetta against me, after Altea got destroyed, she got twisted and merciless, she hates me with all her being, she would do anything and sacrifice anyone for just a chance to destroy me and everything I hold dear."

Lance gasped, eyes tearing up from not blinking, and his voice was a breathy whisper when he spoke.

".......Why?"

Alex smiled, and it was the most heartbreaking thing he'd ever seen.

"Because I was the one that gave the order to destroy her planet. I obliterated Altea with my own two hands."

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Pics of Altean Keith and Black paladin Lance for the fic from my Voltron blog.  
> https://78.media.tumblr.com/f5235d7c6243abaef9ede7c683106103/tumblr_p1na2oS34R1wzjp6to1_1280.png & https://78.media.tumblr.com/f9dab29e20ca5c3228d45d4e4c18d5b5/tumblr_p1na2oS34R1wzjp6to2_1280.png


	9. Queen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another chapter down! In this one, we learn the background of Alternate Voltron and all the struggles they had to go through, as well as the reason for the destruction of Altea and more things. The plot moves forward, albeit slowly, and some discoveries are made.
> 
> I wanna inform you guys, that updates after this one may be slower, because i'm trying to get my drivers licence, and studying while working it's taking all my time away, and it's expensive as well, so i need to get it on my first try.
> 
> I'll try to keep with my monthly schedule, but i can't promise i will, bear with me, please *bows down*.
> 
> Also, here's a pic of Altean Keith and Black paladin Lance if you wanna see them :  
> https://78.media.tumblr.com/f9dab29e20ca5c3228d45d4e4c18d5b5/tumblr_p1na2oS34R1wzjp6to2_1280.png
> 
> Anyways, as always, thanks to anyone that commented, suscribed, left kudos, bookmarked or took the time to read, you guys are the fuel that keeps me writing! <3
> 
> Love, ULTI.

Lance felt like he was going to puke. Nausea rose from the pit of his stomach towards his throat, and he had to clasp his hands over his mouth to stop himself from vomiting all over the couch. He just listened to his other self say he had comitted....genocide? Mass murder? He had destroyed Allura's home, the place that she loved with all her heart, it seemed kinda... _obvious_ that she would want revenge, but he still couldn't wrap his mind around the fact that Alex had been able to do something so horrible, Lance McClain wasn't a murderer, not in any reality.

Of that, he was fairly sure.

"You.....destroyed Altea? You _killed_ all those people?" Alex whirled around to look at him, horrified, hands trembling as he stuttered.

"Of course _not_! What kind of person do you think I am?" His voice was high pitched and hysterical, and he looked on the verge of having a breakdown. Until Keith approached him and touched his shoulder, softly, eyes filled with remorse and understanding.

"Stop it,  _Brihlka_ , i t wasn't your fault, you had no choice. Please, stop beating yourself up about it." Keith's expression fell when Alex shook his head, hands pressing onto his eyes as he groaned in distress, shaking slightly.

"I _can't_. It's my responsibility, I was the one who gave the order, I have to bear the burden for my decisions, I just wish it didn't have to be this way." His hands fell and he sighed, touching Keith's hand with his own, eyes swirling with emotion, tiredness evident on his face. And Lance knew he had been right in his assumptions, Alex was incapable of murder unless it was extremely necessary, he felt regret and sadness and frustration, and it was obvious his past choices weren't something he was proud of.

It brought Lance a sense of relief he didn't know he needed.

"Okay, I think it's time you explain the situation to me, because I'm just getting hints and my brain cannot keep up. If you want me to help you, you're going to have to trust me, share the whole story, it's the point of me being here, after all." Alex tilted his head in confusion, and Keith mirrored his movements -something he found endearing- while the rest of the _Alternate Team_ looked at him, focused on listening to what he had to say.

"I didn't make the connection before, because Blue can't express herself very well -she rumbled- and I didn't understand the images and stuff she showed me. But as soon as White explained the whole _'all the lions are the same_ ' thing, I kind of got it, Blue wanted to help you, Alex, but she didn't know how. She probably saw what was in store for you, how this reality was going to play out, and it wasn't something she wanted, it was probably bad. So what did she do? She took someone that could help, someone from another reality, an external variable, so he could help change the inevitable future that awaited you if nothing was done." Alex crossed his arms, brow furrowed in thought as his foot tapped the floor rhythmically.

"But....I'm Black's paladin, why would _Blue_ want to help me?" Lance laughed softly while Blue purred, trying to reach Alex through their communal bond.

"There's many, many reasons why she would do that. It's because you're _me_ , because in another reality you pilot her, because you're important to White, because you share her quintessence in some universes, because water loves you, or maybe just because she cares." Alex looked Lance right in the eye, dubious to his claims. For some reason, he seemed to have the silly notion that he didn't deserve everyone's worry, he looked like the type of person that tried to shoulder everything alone.

But that would only lead to self destruction, Lance knew that very well -he was on the same path, himself- and he wasn't about to let this version of him, who was capable and had the potential to be happy, mess things up because he didn't want to share his burden with his teammates.

"Whatever the reason, she thought you needed me, and if I'm going to help, I need to know just what's going on in here, what we're fighting against." Alex gulped in a deep breath, head bowed forward as he looked to the floor, bangs covering his eyes. He stayed like that for a tick, then straightened and walked over to sit next to Lance, Keith taking his other side, and then proceeded to wring his hands nervously before beginning his tale.

"Okay, so, from what you've told me, when you were a student, aliens and the like hadn't been discovered on Earth yet, right?" Lance nodded, now solely focused on what the other was saying. "It was different for us. We developed way faster, our technology advancing and becoming more and more complex, reaching as far as it could, searching for something, _anything_ that told us we were not alone. A year before I was born, Earth made contact with planet Altea, a kind and diplomatic race that decided to answer our call and begin interplanetary relations in pos of a brighter future." Lance hummed, the differences surprising him, he'd never thought that Earth would have made contact with aliens. Back home, no one believed in them, it was something that seemed plausible, but no one really knew the truth about.

"The relations progressed smoothly and, soon, with their help, we had built a spaceship that would take us to Altea, to finally meet face to face and really begin interacting with the universe. For that mission, they sent Shiro's dad, who was the director of the Garrison, Katie's dad, who was the main scientist, my father, who was the engineer and technician, and Hunk's mom, who was the translator and diplomat, among many more members with different jobs." Alex seemed proud of that, it was obvious he felt really happy that his dad had managed to get into the first group to ever go to space and meet aliens.

Lance would have been too, if his dad had done something like that -not to say he wasn't proud of his own dad, because he was- it was clear as day that Alex cherished those people and was excited to share their story.

"They continued to go back and forth between the two planets, both sharing facts about their cultures, technologies, knowledge, and anything they found interesting or different. When I was about ten, my dad traveled to Altea for the last time, since his team was going to be replaced by a new one with trainees, people studying to expand Earth's horizons to new possibilities." Alex smiled, small and soft, with something akin to amusement dancing in his eyes,

"Did he pat you on the back and say _'Hasta la vista, baby'_ when he left?" Alex looked shocked for a second before a smile lit up his face, trying in vain to conceal the chuckles that threatened to overwhelm him.

"Oh my god, yes, how did you know?" Lance wiggled his eyebrows and snickered.

"My dad is a firefighter, and every time he had an emergency call, he would get all dramatic and say that to me, like, yeah dad, you're going to rescue a kitten on a tree or a grandma that got stuck on an elevator, you'll be fine. He just liked acting it out, made him feel more badass, even though I would know if the call was for a fire, because then he would get really serious and go out without a word, kissing us goodbye just to be safe." Alex nodded in understanding.

Their lives may had been different, their circumstances completely unrelated, but the core of the people they loved, their soul, stayed the same, and it was a thought that made Lance feel lighter, like the place he was in wasn't so unfamiliar after all.

"When my dad left, and their journey was broadcasted on television for the next month, I knew, in that moment, that I wanted to go to space, too, not as a fighter or pilot or engineer, but as a diplomat, as someone that would meet a lot of different cultures and get to see the unknown universe. It became my dream, and so, when I was sixteen, I joined the Galaxy Garrison, where I met Katie, Hunk, Shiro, Sven and Keith, everyone, really." It looked like their school was fairly different than his, maybe because White's dad was the director. But Alex explained that it had different programs, and depending on your aptitudes, you were sorted into one or another, and if your grades and field work were good, you coud apply to go into the next expedition to Altea.

"I was really surprised when I saw Keith for the first time, if I'm being honest. I had never seen an Altean or half Altean in person before, so it was quite a shock." Keith giggled to Lance's left, and he turned to catch the Red paladin's cheeks a bright pink, a sweet smile etched on his face.

"I believe your first words to me were _'Are you an alien? Because your beauty if out of this world'_." Keith dissolved into a mess of snickers and laughs, and Alex huffed to his left, crossing his arms in fake anger while he pouted.

"Yeah, and you answered with _'Yeah, I am? And also, Alteans are considered fairly attractive by Earth's standards, so I suppose that's true. Thanks for the compliment, though.'_ and then you left. Like, what kind of first impression was that?" Lance raked his brain trying to decipher what kind of relationship these two seemed to have, they looked to be great friends, at least, something that Lance envied and knew he couldn't have. But he couldn't help but think that Keith blushing was....endearing, a side of him that he didn't know existed.

"Anyway, the story was that Shiro's mom died when they were, like, five, and half a year later he accepted the invitation to join the exploration program, leaving Shiro and Sven with their aunt. It looked like he met an Altean diplomat while in space, and they fell in love whilst he traveled back and forth. He courted her for a year, like Altean traditions say, and when Shiro was six, she became pregnant with Keith, who was born a year later and introduced to the twins." White nodded, a bittersweet smile on his face, while Sven giggled, taking something out of his pocket and showing it to Lance who gasped and cooed and melted on the spot.

"He was the cutest baby we had ever seen. And even though we weren't ready to have a new mom yet, we loved Keith with all our heart, and he came live with us while his mom settled on Earth and made all the paperwork needed to stay and obtain a citizenship. They married when Keith was three, and we moved to a big house -paid by the government- were we lived until we left for the Garrison." White laughed, smiling at the memory, and Sven pocketed the photo of baby Keith with a proud smile. But the image was already engraved into Lance's retinas, small, chubby cheeks with red markings that looked absolutely squeezable, big purple and blue eyes covering his face, and small pointy ears peeking from the tufts of curly black hair atop of his head.

Yeah, cutest baby Lance had ever seen, too.

"We studied hard, did our best to stand out and be chosen as the next group of researchers. Katie, Matt and Hunk were on the engineer department, and they didn't have a problem with attracting attention, since they were three of the smartest minds the Garrison had ever seen. And Sven, Shiro and Keith -who were on the piloting program- didn't, either, since they were the best pilots and fighters of their classes, and the whole facility talked about how good they were, saying that their skills, reflexes and reaction times were within the best of the country."

"And then there was me. I studied non stop, did my best to get first place and achieve my dream as soon as I could. Sadly, my teachers didn't think I was skilled enough to be sent on a diplomatic mission, and they never failed to remind me of my mistakes, trying to bring me down so I would give up. But I didn't relent, I kept on going, and when we did some battle drills and I had to face Keith....well...." Alex looked ashamed, his cheeks burning a bright pink as he shifted his gaze to look at the red paladin, who chuckled.

"I remember that. Your teachers paired you with me because they wanted to humiliate you, thinking you were a, quote, ' _bookworm with no real talent'_. You chose twin swords and prepared to fight me, doing some maneuvers and tricks that left the other students gaping and astonished. Then the fight began, and we clashed fast, my bow and arrow versus your twin swords, I think we were at it for about an hour before I tripped on one of my arrows and fell, although I managed to trip you as I was going down, making you fall over me." Keith snickered while Alex groaned, covering his face with his hands like it was a memory he didn't want to remember, the red paladin smirking before continuing with the story.

"I think your exact words right then were; _'Well, it seems you finally fell for me'_ and I was confused because , no? It was because of an arrow? And then -Keith chuckled- then I told you, _'No, actually, it's you who's fallen for me'_ because I had tripped you. It was embarrassing. I remember hearing your teachers letting out high pitched sounds of confusion, wondering where you got your fighting skills from, it was delightful, really." Keith tilted his head, smiling softly at Alex as the other rolled his eyes, hand scratching the back of his neck, cheeks a rosy red as he pouted.

Lance was beginning to get some weird vibes from these two, and he wasn't sure he wanted to know were they originated from, the answer scared him, made a thought buried deep within his own mind rear it's ugly head.

"Yeah, they thought I was just, I don't know, memorizing stuff without applying it to real life, but I knew the Garrison wasn't high school, the level of knowledge we needed to have to be allowed to go to space, and consequently, Altea, was very high. I knew we needed to be able to adapt to every situation possible, be it a fight, a diplomatic meeting, piloting a ship or anything similar." Alex fiddled with the hem of his gauntlets, humming in thought, probably reminiscing the past and all the events that had led him to this very moment.

"I had actually asked my older sister, Maria, who was in the military, to give me some basic training before I joined the Garrison, and she was actually impressed by how quick I was to learn and adapt to her teachings. Said that I was a natural born soldier and leader. Although I didn't believe the latter at the time." Lance let out a sound of surprise, turning to look at Alex really quick, his mind jumping to his own sister, _his_ Maria. The one that loved to cook and draw, the one that hugged him every time they saw each other and reminded him that his life was full of possibilities and paths to take, multiple endings awaiting him.

Who would've thought that one of those paths would lead him to meet his other self.

"That's so cool, my sister is not on the military, instead, she chose to be a teacher, she teaches self defense and martial arts at the local gym, and she actually won a lot of competitions, ending in first or second place. She's really badass." Alex smiled, the expression glazed over by sadness, a look Lance knew by heart, the look of someone who missed his family more than they could convey.

"Yeah, even before she joined the army, she was really strong, both in mind and body, any bully that tried to mess with me would run away in fear as soon as they saw her break a piece of wood in half with her bare hands." Lance openly laughed at that, because his own sister had done something similar back when he'd been younger to scare off an older guy that was making him uncomfortable. He still has the selfie they had taken afterwards.

"So yeah, we studied, learnt, fought, and after four years of tears, pain, and less sleep that we would've liked, we graduated with the best grades, the Garrison staff being awed at our progress, our efficiency, and our talent. Needles to say, we were the team chosen for the next exploration of planet Altea, in which we would reside for a whole year before deciding what we wanted to do. It was on that journey that we met Allura." The atmosphere turned somber, and Lance gazed around, noticing the sadness and regret on everyone's faces, fists clenched as their brows furrowed.

Lance was about to tell them to stop, take a break, they didn't need to tell him all the details if the pain was too great, he didn't want them to suffer, after all. But Alex continued, undeterred by his own pain, a leader, always moving forward, always steel and decisive and sure of himself.

It was a trait he envied deeply.

"She was the princess, and also the diplomat that talked with any envoys from Earth. She was smart, sweet, brave, independent, strong, and full of life and dreams. She wanted to visit Earth too, one day, and enjoyed every little fact we could give her about it." Alex's face softened at the memory, eyes crinkling and filled with fondness as he spoke of the princess that Lance didn't know, the one that seemed to have a vendetta against him, the one that had turned into the very thing she hated.

"Her father, Alfor, was a good king, and he spoke with us as we worked on building their technology, impressed by the fact that Katie and Matt were able to understand it so easily and adapt or improve the designs. We quickly became friends with him, and he showed us the beauty of Altea, it's wonders and rarities, the plants and animals that inhabited it, the people that walked it's lands. It was the best year of our lives...but nothing lasts forever." His tone turned solemn, and he closed his eyes tight, mouth upturned as his expression morphed into one of anguish. It made Lance want to hug him, try to mitigate his pain, no matter how unusual it would be to comfort himself.

"Alteans are known for their insatiable thirst for knowledge, it's something ingrained in their blood, something they crave, their learning capabilities way more advanced than ours. So when a comet fell onto the surface of Altea, shining bright blue and pulsating, an investigation immediately began, to discern were it came from, it's composition, it's function, and all the data that could be obtained from it." From across the couch, Katie huffed, crossing her arms across her chest, chin held high as if she was offended by something.

"I told them. I told them to stop fussing with that thing, but did they listen? _No_ , just like Earthlings -who are idiots- they continued tinkering with it, extracting a sample that Alfor personally took, the one that would eventually become Voltron." Hunk nodded, tapping his fingers on his wrist, right onto the surface of a sturdy looking bracelet, his expression filled with fondness. But then a bittersweet look swept over his features and his face contorted in sadness as he looked at it, a deep sigh leaving his lips.

"Yeah, he took with himself a least fourth of the rock, if I remember right, he said that it was whispering to him, compelling him to do something, that he felt it was inevitable, something fated to happen. He assured us that the quintessence of the comet wasn't hostile, that it was just waiting, asking for assistance, and that he would contact us when everything was done." The other version of his friend ran a hand through his hair, eyes holding a tired look as he sighed, looking way older than he really was, his stress evident on his face.

White nodded. "He holed himself up in his lab for a month, and when Allura finally managed to haul him out, he had already created the five lions, beings with a will of their own who worked to vanish the evil that tainted the universe." The older man had a far away look on his eyes, as if he was reliving the same moment he spoke about. " By then, though, the comet had been taken out of his impact point, and a rift had been discovered and analyzed throughly by the Altean scientists, who, in absence of their king, took the decisions pertaining to it's investigation on their own."

Matt shook his head, sadness coloring his features. "It was something new, something that no one in the universe had ever seen. And for the Alteans -who already knew everything whitin the known universe- who thirsted for new information and wisdom in their endless quest to understand anything shrouded by the stars, it was like a beacon of light, a new hope, and their hunger to comprehend the inner workings of it drew them to make some....foolish decisions." Matt leaned his head on White's shoulder, eyes closed as the other ran his hand through his hair in a comforting manner.

It was obvious this was a difficult topic to talk about, for all of them, no one smiled and, if they did, it was tight and felt forced, like the sadness of it overwhelmed any good things that may have happened to them in the past.

Lance knew how it ended, Alex had said as much, but he couldn't understand what events had lead for it to happen, why nobody had stopped it. Alfor had been smart - if he recounted everything that Allura had told him - and there was the fact that Lotor told Lance that he tried to make Zarkon close the rift and he didn't listen. So, what had happened in this reality that made such a horrific ending come to be? What went wrong?

Matt squinted his eyes, gaze locking with Lance's as he spoke "The head of the scientists, Hira, spoke with Alfor s soon as he finished creating the lions. She told him how the rift was radiating quintessence, how they could learn countless data from it, how it's energy could help millions of aliens and Alteans, how it would help bring peace and unity to the universe." From the other couch, Katie snarled, her lip jutting out as she showed a feral smile, a growl leaving her lips as she narrowed her eyes in disgust and contempt.

"That _bitch_ , I never liked her, I knew there was something fishy about her. She told Alfor all the beauty and rainbows and happiness that rock would bring, but that convining piece of shit forgot to mention several facts. Like how the rift was unstable, how everyday that passed by the gap widened an inch, how it seemed to absolve the life force of anyone close by, leaving them dead tired and zombie-like, yearning for more knowledge, more, more, _more_!" Katie shouted, grinding her teeth, nails digging into her forearms as her grip tightened, her expression furious and body tense.

Matt looked at her from the corner of his eyes, gaze softening as he patted her knee, trying to calm her down. " Yes, both Katie and I were involved into the ongoing investigation, and, at the time, we trusted Hira, we had no reason to think she would do anything dangerous. When we discovered what the rift was causing, it's side effects and other unsettling things, we told her and gave her a report with all the data, and she assured us that she would show them to the king and tell us what he decided." Dislodging himself from his lover, Matt stretched and let out a breath, resting his elbows on his knees, chin resting on his knuckles.

"She came to us the next day, expression happy, and told us that the king had given her permission to continue with the investigation and conduct experiments regarding the rift. She said that the king determined the phenomenon harmless, and no matter how much we told her otherwise, she was adamant about following her King's wishes. Wishes we could not confirm because Alfor had gone away on a diplomatic journey to Daibazaal, dwelling of the Galran race." Alex nodded, expression tight and hands clutched together, the dark circles under his eyes more prominent below the bright lights of the lounge.

"Yeah, Allura had gone with him on that mission to meet his best friend, Lotor, the son of King Zarkon, so we couldn't talk about the rift and the problems it could cause with her, either. They came back about a month later, but, by then, Hira had recommended us for a diplomatic mission, to aid a planet in need of rebuilding after a devastating natural disaster left half the population homeless." Alex sighed and tilted his head, chewing on his lower lip as he gazed ahead, unseeing, his mind focused on the story he was telling.

"That mission took a few months, mostly because the locals had some really interesting technology and they wanted to show us the whole planet. Afterwards they took us with them as they traveled to some of the smaller planets on their galaxy, and, by the time we came back to Altea, the King had gone away to another meeting, and even when he came back, his responsibilities required all his attention, and we weren't able to meet him." Katie growled from the far end of the couch, mouth a straight line as she glared at nothing.

"Yeah, we were idiots, back then. As soon as we finished with our ' _mission_ ' -she did quotation marks with her fingers- and returned to Altea, Hira and her assistant, a scientist named Erias, led us to the lions. They wanted to show us what they could do and how innovative and revolutionary they were." She took a deep breath in and let it out, eyes darting to Lance's face and settling there, her expression hard as steel.

"She played us...played _me_ , like a fool. The lions were fascinating, something out of this world, and as soon as we laid eyes upon them, as soon as we stablished a connection, there was no force on the planet that could have taken us away from them. We studied them, analyzed them, how they worked, why they moved, what powered them, what functions they had....I wanted to know _everything_ about them, and in my enthusiastic stupor, I completely forgot about the rift." Matt looked at his sister, her eyes downcast, voice tight with regret and shame, soft and pained, like a whispered plea asking for a rewind, for a chance to change the past.

"Katie, it wasn't only your fault, you know? When Green chose me, I became too invested on that investigation, too. It was exciting, there were no beings like the lions in all of the known universe, no one had ever heard or seen something like them, and we were the first to be able to pilot them, to _understand_ them, to discover their secrets....we were swept in by our curiosity, there was no helping it." Katie guffawed, letting out a sarcastic ' _Ha_!' as she smirked, the look twisted and out of place on her face.

"We were no different than them then! They wanted more knowledge, more and more, and we wanted to sate our curiosity, we forgot about everything else, and she took advantage of that, we played right into her hand, we are as guilty as she was." Getting up abruptly from the couch, Katie walked to the far end of the room, right up to a device that looked like a vending machine, punching it lightly and waiting for whatever she wanted to come out.

Lance turned to face Matt once again. "What happened?" The green paladin looked at him sadly, hand reaching to hold onto White's.

"It's not like we didn't try to speak up, no matter what Katie says, even when we were immersed on the lion's inner workings and our connection with them, we still thought about the rift. And more often that not, we asked Hira to please tell the king or the princess about the dangers of it and how they escalated every day." Lance nodded, waiting.

"We knew Alfor was busy, and no matter how friendly he and Allura were, they couldn't interact with outsiders on a daily basis, their security would be put in jeopardy, and neither their royal guard nor the advisors were willing to let that happen. Our only connection to him was Hira, and we never had any reason to believe she was telling us anything but the truth." From Matt's right, White nodded, letting go of his beloved's hand to gather his hair and tie it up into a ponytail, nervously switching gazes between his teammates, assessing if they were doing okay.

"That was our first and last mistake." White said. " Before we noticed, our year was up, and we were supposed to either leave and go back to Earth, or ask for citizenship and live on Altea. We, of course, didn't want to leave the lions, and there were many more things that we wanted to learn and discover, so we sought the second choice, and did all the paperwork necessary to be allowed to stay." Sven hummed sadly, patting his twin on the back before taking over and continuing from where he left off.

"By the time our situation was settled and we were bonded with our lions....everything had gone to shit. We discovered that Hira, not only had not been telling the king about the dangers the rift was causing, nor did she relay our messages to him, but she had been lying to him as well, saying that the rift was an energy source that would help millions of planets, that no one would live in poverty ever again, that it was clean, and harmless, and would make tons of people happy." Lance understood why the King might have been blind to the true nature of the phenomenon, swamped with work and treaties and the possibility of an upcoming war with a nearby tribe, responsibilities piling up and consuming all his time.

He had to have someone to delegate into, someone he trusted, whose words he would believe in a heartbeat without hesitation, and it seemed that person had been Hira.

"She took advantage of her position as head of the science department and the fact that she'd been a close friend to the late Queen, and she twisted her words and bended reality to her will so she could continue her work. Her greed brought forth her downfall....and with her, all of Altea soon followed suit." The yellow paladin was going to continue with the tale, but Keith held up a hand and smiled softly at his brother, the other returning it, expression mournful and solemn.

The red paladin turned and looked at Lance, right on the eyes, and he felt once more as his breath got caught in his throat, the attention he was receiving from him being kind of....unnerving.

"It happened half a year later. We had bonded with the lions, knew how to pilot, and Alfor had named us paladins, Defenders of the Universe, Team Voltron. With Lance as our leader, strong, capable, smart and a really good soldier in general, we had been helping numerous planets in trouble, our previous training on the Garrison making being a paladin way easier. People began respecting the Black paladin's opinion, the work we did and how many people we had helped. And we became well known warriors, the people believed in us and held our words in high regard. It was then that we discovered Hira's treason, and we tried hard to tell this to the higher ups, but...." Alex took it from where Keith left off.

"But no one believed us, Hira was also well known and trusted, and she had been feeding all of the planet the wonders and happiness the energy could bring not only to Altea, but to all the people out there. They couldn't see truth, didn't want to, we were powerless and scared for them, and even moreso when Matt found out something terrifying."

"Yeah, a week or so later, I began noticing something strange. The algorithms of the rift the meteorite had opened were fluctuating to highly dangerous levels, the readings spiking and then lowering down to nothing, the action repeating in a cycle, it was obvious something was wrong." Lance had a feeling he knew were this was going, and he was pretty sure he wasn't going to like it.

"I tried to tell this to the scientists once again, trying to make them see reason, but no one would listen to me....no one but Honerva." Lance gasped at that name, knowing by fact that it was Lotor's mother, the same one that had died when the rift had opened on Daibazaal. It was obvious that things had gone extremely different in this world.

"She was the wife of King Zarkon, and an Altean, having married the king out of love and moving to settle down on his planet, where they raised Lotor. But when the comet came, she took time out of her schedule to study it, and when I came to her with my doubts, she acknowledged that I was right, and proceeded to tell her husband and Alfor, knowing that if someone of her status were to say that, she'd have way more credibility than a mere human, paladin or not." Lance followed what Matt was saying, trying in vain to contain his frown, this wasn't going to end well, if this went like the events on his own reality, then....Keith's voice interrupted his thoughts, and he whipped around to gaze upon his sorrowful face.

"When she finally told the truth to the king, it was already too late, we ran towards the rift, and Alfor told Hira to explain herself, but....she was mad, a crazed look on her eyes as she talked about the greatness they could achieve with the quintessence from the rift, how they could bring peace to the universe under the Altean flag. She spoke of a world dominated by them with people following obediently their designs without a mind of their own, she spoke of slavery as if it was a gift, of the domination as if it was their right, as if the universe would have been glad of being under the command of the Alteans." Keith hissed then, gingerly touching the marks under his eyes, mouth upturned in disgust.

"She was delirious, and no matter how much we tried to make her give up, she didn't listen, she threw herself into the rift before we could stop it, disappearing without a trace, and leaving us to deal with the mess she'd left behind." Alex's breath hitched, the sound escaping his lips before he could stop himself, a small whimper akin to a sob, nothing but a shadow of the weight his emotions carried, threatening to drown him.

"Matt and Honerva along with Katie and Hunk did a quick analysis of the fissure, and we knew then that it was too late, the rift was going to destabilize soon, and it would take all the galaxies in it's near vicinity with it. I'm the Black paladin, the leader, I had to make a choice, so we began an evacuation of all the citizens, using the lions to direct the operation, and Allura, who had just come back from a short mission, was escorted out after a brief talk with his father and brother, both of them staying to aid with the evacuation."

"Allura has a brother?" Lance asked, incredulous, on his own reality, the princess didn't have any more family than his late father, it wasn't strange but.....surprising.

"Yes, his brother, prince Bokar, was older by just a year, and they loved each other very much, she was adamant about leaving, but her father left her no choice, and she was safe and leaving on a ship minutes later. Time was against us, and we needed to be fast, so the King and the Prince left to search for anyone stil waiting for evacuation, while I asked Hunk to stop all the machinery on the rift, board their lions, and wait planetside as I followed suit."

"No one knew what to do, run away? Warn the other planets? Evacuate them too? Wormhole away and leave them to their fate? We were supposed to have more time, we were supposed to think of something, but.....as fate would have it, our time ended before it had even begun, and the rift began acting up minutes after we left."

"We... _I_ had to do something, we couldn't let the galaxy be destroyed, we still couldn't wormhole away, the teludav was not prepared, and the other planets couldn't evacuate to a safe place. I had to make a choice, so I asked everyone to form Voltron and charge his most devastating attack, to destroy Altea's core before the rift could implode and take out everyone with it." Lance gasped, horrified, both at the idea that he had done something so atrocious, and the fact that he had been forced to do so, forced to carry the weight of that decision by himself.

"I know I had no choice, I know it had to be done, but even so.....even so...." His voice was nothing but a whisper. "I wish I could have done things differently, Allura, she....she'd been talking with Alfor and Bokar as they searched the planet on a small ship for signs of life. I'm sure, I _made_ sure I saw their pod leaving before firing, but the princess.....she's under the impression I killed her only remaining family that day, along with her home and everything she held dear."

"Why? You said they left, right? You saw it, then..."

"The reason is, that Alfor and Bokar were nowhere to be found after the explosion that turned Altea into dust, their pod disappeared into nothingness, and no matter how much we told her that they were alive, she wouldn't believe us. We lost connection with her for a while, and when it was finally stablished again....well...."

\--

"How could _you_? Not only did you destroy my home, but you took my family away from me too! You knew they were there! They were looking for people in need of evacuation! You knew! And even so....even so....." Her tears cascaded down her cheeks, short hair ruffled and teeth clenched together, her eyes so full of anger that it broke his heart.

"Allura, please listen! You know I would never-"

"Liar, all lies! This is what you wanted! There had to be another way, and you-"

"There was no time! I couldn't save everyone! But i made sure the King left before firing! Alfor is alive, and Bokar too, I told you!"

"Their vital signs are gone! There is nothing left of them! You destroyed my home, my people, my _family_!"

"Allura, please-"

"I will _never_ forgive you." Voice calm and filled with deadly ice, the once princess of beautiful planet Altea cut the transmission, the look of pure hatred that was directed at him as the screen turned black breaking a part of him in pieces, the shards adrift in the vast expanse of the universe that surrounded him.

She never contacted him again.

He felt like a failure, like a cheap imitation of what a leader should be, he'd done nothing, could save nothing, he'd destroyed millions of homes, memories, special places, people that weren't able to get away....he was a murderer, and there was nothing he could do about it.

He was a paladin, fated to defend, to save, to cherish life.....and he'd just gone against everything he believed in, everything he was supposed to be. Destroyer, killer, his hands were tainted, he'd done something he could never take back, something he couldn't fix.

_'It was my duty, but....'_

The Voltron symbol on his chest burned with the weight of his responsibility.

_'...I never asked for any of this.'_

\--

Lance blinked, the image of a crying and hateful young Allura still burned into his retinas, she hadn't looked older than Alex himself, and the pain etched on her face was breaking his heart even as he tried to understand what happened. He didn't have to think much, though, his bond -bracelet- with White shining bright while the light slowly faded away, the whispers of his thoughts vanishing like wind as he was left in complete silence again.

A flashback.

A flashback from White's point of view, from the last time they saw their dear friend, the sweet an caring princess that had once held their hand and guided them through Altea's gardens, giggling with the children and petting cats as she walked through the town. A flashback in which he'd been able to experience what Alex felt because he'd been bonded closely together with the team, and his inner voice had reached White.

A flashback that tore him up inside, because it'd been no one's fault, except Hira's, and everyone else had to pay the price for her selfishness while she took the easy way out.

The unfairness of it all made a sob rise up his throat, and he had to bit his lip to stop it from coming out, whole body trembling in anger or sadness or regret or all of them at once.

He didn't know how to feel.

"And that was the end." Alex whispered. "Except it wasn't. Allura declared herself Queen of Altea not long after, seeking the survivors and taking them under her wing, under the guise that she would protect them and find them a new home, create a peaceful universe that held no more disasters and sadness. But she made them soldiers instead." Alex got up, restless, and paced around as his long hair swayed after him, Keith watching him like a hawk, a worried tint in his gaze.

"She fed lies to her people, told her that I destroyed Altea because I was jealous and fearful of their power, scared that they would use it against Earth to dominate us and enslave us. And no one doubted her word, no one came to defend us, none of the planets we had saved, none of the people we had rescued, absolutely no one had faith in us." Katie came back, sitting against Hunk and drinking something that smelt like coffee.

"Yes -she murmured- those ungrateful bastards prefered to stay away, safe from the wrath of the Queen as long as they said they wanted nothing to do with us, as long as they didn't help us. We had some allies, yeah, but those were far and few between until people began rebelling, so we were alone, and we couldn't go back home, the only solution was to find Alfor and Bokar, and prove to Allura that we didn't lie, that her grief was unfounded, but it was proven difficult when she placed a bounty on Lance's head." Lance gasped, horrified, and turned to look at Alex, still pacing and frowning, boots scrapping against the metal floors as he walked to and fro, visibly stressed at having to relive his worst memory.

"She sure did. She never cared about the other paladins, only me. She wanted me alive, she wanted to end me herself, for her revenge. And to do so, she placed a huge price on my head, and made all the universe our enemy. I thought it was fine, if it was only me, but.....she began doing things....taking away the free will of the planets she visited, the people mindless puppets forced to do her bidding, spouting nonsense about Altea bringing peace to the universe and similar things." Keith patted Lance's back, and he blinked, gazing at him as he stood up and walked towards Alex, hands reaching out to touch his shoulders, holding him in place, eyes locked together as Alex sighed tiredly for the umpteenth time that day.

"We couldn't make her see reason, and she wouldn't stop pursuing me, neither were the bounty hunters, space pirates, and scum in general, so we had no other way to go on but fight, and survive, and look for the king and his son, because I'm sure, and I'd always been sure, that I saw them leave that day one year ago, I did not lie."

"And I never understood why Allura was so adamant that they were dead, no matter the readings, or why she said that I destroyed her home on purpose or believed that I feared and envied them. I have a feeling that something else, something we don't know, was taking place back then, but we could never find out what, and we've been running away since then, looking for clues or ways to end this....but the only end I see.....is one I don't want to ever fulfill."

"I don't want to have to kill Allura, I never wanted for this to happen, I only intended to keep everyone safe, maybe if back then....if I had payed more attention to Hira and the rift, then...." Keith growled, hands going to cup Alex's cheeks, leaning close into his personal space and resting his forehead against his, whispering softly to him, expression open and vulnerable and full of warmth and affection.

"Stop it, _Brihlka_ , it wasn't your fault, your choice wasn't wrong, you didn't have time, we didnt have time, the universe was in danger, the fissure had to be destroyed, the lions told us so and we knew it too. I only regret that you had to be the one to say it out loud, to take on all the responsibility of something we, as a team, should have done together." Alex closed his eyes, tears gathering on his eyelashes as he sighed, breath hitched, sneaking his hands around Keith to hold him close and tight, forehead resting on the red paladin's shoulder as the other carded his fingers gently through his long hair in a comforting manner.

Lance couldn't take it anymore, he had to ask, consequences -to him or anyone else- be damned.

"White...-said person turned to look at him questioningly- Keith has said, twice now, the word... _Brihlka_ I think? And he and Alex seem....kinda close....can I ask..." White smiled softly, eyes crinkling as he gazed at his little brother, expression proud and warm as he laughed quietly, turning around to look back at Lance.

"The word _Brihlka_ is an Altean word of endearment, it translates, basically, to something similar to _'The light of my life'_ , is a really affectionate word, and usually, only people who are married or bethroded use it with each other. They are the latter." Lance's world stopped moving, breath lost as he gasped, mind short circuiting and body freezing as he processed what he just heard.

It couldn't be right.

He wanted to be Keith's friend, wanted to be close to him and support him, _yes_ , but he had never considered....had never thought of....it was just impossible. They were incompatible, like water and oil, never on the same wavelength, never agreeing on anything, always riling up the other, looking to poke each other until one of them snapped, fire and water, complete opposites, it was something fated to fail, never to be in the first place.

So why.....

Why did they look so happy? Why did Alex smile like Keith had starlight in his eyes? Why did Keith giggle and blush as the other kissed his nose and made an exaggerated kissing sound? Why did Alex sigh in happiness and relief as Keith kissed his cheek and forehead in return? Why did they look so comfortable and at ease, hugging and caressing and gifting soft touches and sweet words to each other like it was no big deal? Why did they look at the other like he was their whole world, eyes full of love and warmth and understanding?

Why did it feel so right?

Why did it feel so wrong?

Why.......why was he so jealous of it?

He felt himself tearing up without reason, suddenly overwhelmed with emotions he couldn't comprehend, and he clasped his hands over his mouth to stop a whimper from coming out, ashamed, confused, alone, and so, so scared. He didn't know what to do, what to think, he didn't want to think at all, about Keith, about them, about himself, everything was far too convoluted and a mess in his brain as he was not ready, this didn't concern him, it wasn't for _him_ , not meant for him, unattainable, far away fantasy, alternate reality.

In any other world, it was not to be.

He was sure of it.

It just couldn't be, he'd never even thought about it, he wasn't going to begin now.

He was lost enough already as it was.

He moved his teary gaze upwards, noticing how the atmosphere had relaxed as soon as Alex and Keith had begun getting...intimate, affectionate? With each other, they seemed to radiate warmth and kindness and a softness that melted his heart and soothed his spirit, and it seemed that everyone else was feeling the same, making iddle chat as they tried to forget the previous conversation, shrouded by the love that both paladins were proffessing to each other.

Everyone's guard was down, basking in the comfort and safety of their home, and no one glanced at Alex, for privacy reasons, no one except Lance, who watched as Alex spinned Keith around and held his waist tenderly, as Keith laughed and dipped Alex in return, eyes alight with mischief as he kissed his chin and blowed a raspberry on his neck.

He watched as Alex distanced himself and bowed, hand outstretched and asking for a dance, watched as Keith closed his eyes and bowed back, staying that way for far longer than he should have as he shook with laughter, watched as a red dot made it's way onto Alex's forehead and no one seemed to notice, and then Lance was watching no longer.

He ran instead.

And tackled Alex to the ground with all the force he could muster, hearing, more than feeling, as a shot rang throughout the room, the silence that followed deafening in it's intensity, his back and chest screaming in pain as he lay there, above his other self, trying to take in a breath that wouldn't reach his lungs.

A raged scream followed next.

And he heard the sound of a bow being tensed -he remembers from his classes at summer camp- and then a thud, the sound of something falling, and footsteps approaching rapidly, stopping right besides him, a hand resting on his cheek, encouraging him to open his eyes.

Dark, violet ones met his, and he felt his breath being taken away for the third time that day....or maybe it was a punctured lung, who knows? Not Lance, that's for sure.

"Lance, please, keep your eyes open, okay? For me?" Keith seemed strangely calm, but the slight trembling of his hands betrayed his worry, mouth wobbling as he spoke.

He nodded as best as could, and he whimpered when Alex, who hadn't moved until now, sat upright, bringing Lance with him and clutching him in a secure embrace, cradling his head as he looked down at him with a horror stricken face, blood splattered on his cheeks and coating his hands.

What a mess this had become.

"Shit, shit! How the fuck did one of those pirates escape? How the hell did he manage to sneak around right under our noses? There were no readings of more life forms on the castle! What the fuck? Is my system faulty? Did I mess up?" Katie screamed from somewhere, voice hysterical and loud.

"Katie, no, stop! You didn't mess up, they have advanced technology, we couldn't have known-" Matt tried to make her see reason, but Katie was stubborn, Lance would know.

"No! I knew this would happen sooner or later, I knew I wouldn't be able to protect Lance, or any of you! I knew one day I was gonna fuck up and someone was going to die! And now look! Look at what happened!" A sob left her lips, and he heard Hunk's voice trying to talk to her, asking her to calm down, machines fail, they go obsolete, it was no one's fault.

But she still wouldn't relent, crying softly as she berated herself for her failure, it seemed, to Lance, that that outburst had been a long time coming, the stress of their situation and constant danger to her leader's life stressing her to the point of breaking. Until White's voice boomed, his tone serious and up for no nonsense, carrying all throughout the room.

"We don't have time for this, Katie, you can revamp your system after this, make all the improvements you want, our priority right now is Lance, so get your butt to the pods and put them online and on top condition. You have to understand that you can't protect us forever, alone, with your machines, that's not how it works, mistakes happen, smarter people exist, it was bound to happen." She sniffed loudly." Now go and help save this guy, if there's someone that can do it, I know it's you."

"You know it." Rapid footsteps went farther and farther away, and in the sudden stillness, Lance could hear his own ragged breathing, the whimpers and cries he was letting out, how he was clutching at Alex's undersuit like it was a lifeline, how his back burned and his chest melted and the pain became excruciating suddenly like a dial had been turned up.

His eyes sought Alex's, and he was startled to see his other self crying in a horrified stupor, mouth open and gaping as tiny sounds of distress left his throat, hair cascading down his shoulders and tickling Lance's face as his tie had been lost when he'd tackled him down.

Keith's expression mirrored his lover's, eyes wet and mouth upturned, hands clutching Lance's own in a tight grip, warm against the coldness that spread from his fingertips all throughout his arms and to his lungs, mixing with the burning of his chest and making him wail in agony.

"Lance! Hold on, we're going to take care of you, yeah?" Keith's wobbly voice reached his ears, and despite himself, he smiled, probably looking bloody and ugly, but still sincere." We'll take you to a pod and you'll be as good as new, no worries, you'll be fine, it'll be okay." Lance looked into his eyes, and saw the lie that they both knew he was telling, the grip on his hands tightening when Lance smiled sadly, eyes shifting to look at Alex.

"Why.....why did you do it? Why save me?" Alex reached with his thumb and wiped off the blood on the corner of Lance's mouth. "This had nothing to do with you, it's not your world....why?" The question was so full of pain, so full of self-hate and remorse that even if it was on his last breath, Lance wanted to answer, wanted him to know, to not feel guilty.

"Your.....happiness.....is...r'lly....mportan....t'me....I....could....nver....let...it...be...taken....way...." His lungs rattled and he coughed, blood staining his chin, his clothes and Alex's clothes too, a scream ripping from the Black paladin's throat as he gazed down at him, Keith cupping his cheeks and asking him to stay, for him, for both of them.

"Shit, Lance, hold on , keep on breathing sweetheart, don't give up, we're going to get you help. _Shiro_!" Keith screamed for his brother as Lance watched, taking in the worry and determination and affection swimming in Keith's eyes. Even when he knew he wasn't his Lance, even when he knew his death wouldn't affect any of them in the long run, even when he knew he had no salvation, he still didn't give up on him, he still fought.

Hard and relentless, the fire in Keith's eyes never wavered even as tears cascaded down his cheeks, and Alex mirrored him from where he was holding Lance, eyes focused on his face, hand slowly caressing his cheeks and speaking soft words of comfort, repeating again and again to _keep breathing, stay, don't leave us._

_....He wanted to protect them._

Wanted to protect what they had.

He looked at them both, and knew that what he'd said was right, their happiness meant a lot to Lance, their existence was important to him, the love they shared was precious as it was incomprehensible and rare, something that meant that Lance wasn't fated to mess up every good thing that ever happened in his life.

It meant that there was a path that lead to him being leader, honing his skills and knowledge instead of focusing on interacting with his classmates, trying to be liked by everyone, too scared to be the kid that was left out, his anxiety at being hated making him mold and become what the people surrounding him wanted him to be.

It meant that there was a path that took him into Keith's arms, focusing on who he was as a person and not the jealousy and envy that had made the rift between them appear in the first place, a path were their similarities were closer than their differences, and were they managed to turn the latter from weaknesses into strengths, balancing each other.

They were happy together, and they deserved to continue to be, he wasn't about to let Keith's smile being robbed, or for him to watch as the love of his life died right before his eyes. He didn't want to see such profound pain etched onto his face, not now, not ever, not on this Keith, not on his own.

He didn't want Alex to lose more than he already had, either, he'd suffered incommensurably, taking on a burden too big to carry alone, but doing so anyway, wanting to protect the people he loved, his family, the universe. He didn't deserve to have to say goodbye to his soulmate, the person that made him happy, didn't deserve to leave everything behind with things left unsaid and problems unsolved, never knowing the truth of the events that saddened him so.

_He wanted to protect them._

Maybe he was projecting, but his home was unreachable now, and this was the next best thing, so he'd be damned if he let anyone mess up this perfect universe. He was going to die, yes, but he _would_ come back, he would _fix_ things, find out what the deal with Allura was, save this frigging universe, and then _go home_.

He felt strangely calm as he died, this time, mind clear and thoughts in order instead of the usual panic that overwhelmed him in these situations. It may had been because he was proud of what he did, of the lives he saved, or maybe because he'd finally grown used to dying, wich was a terryfing thought.

He didn't want to get used to it. He didn't want to die, didn't want to experience such pain over and over again, he was scared of it, scared of beginning to get acquainted with death to the point where he felt nothing for it anymore.

He was scared. But he was also determined. Determined to save this world that held alternate versions of his friends, people that were dear to him and deserved to be happy. Blue had brought him here for a reason, and she'd never been wrong before.

This time it'd been his choice, his decision to sacrifice himself for someone else. And maybe that was why he felt at peace with himself, why he wasn't trembling or crying or pleading for his life, why he, instead, smiled as brightly as he could, content with having been able to protect this people from more suffering.

He closed his eyes and listened to the screams of his name, uttered in despair and heartache, and he stopped breathing, and his heart ceased his beating, and the blackout curtains fell down, signaling the end of the first act.

\--

He woke up with a gasp, hands clutching his chest, a faint whisper of his own voice saying ' _Let the second act begin'_ filling his mind before vanishing like mist, eyes tearing up as he coughed, the phantom feeling of his lungs filling with liquid, making him unable to breathe, causing his body to react accordingly.

Which, no fun, let me tell you.

He tried to get his breath under control, but it seemed impossible, his chest was on fire, a deep burning like flaming coals, the flames licking his skin and scorching his insides, turning them to ash. It felt like something was being teared out of his chest by force, pulling and pulling, taking his energy and the air around him with every tug.

He wanted to cry.

Suddenly, an alarmed voice filled his mind, and then Blue was there, trying to calm him down, frantic and scared as she tried to explain something to him, something that was important and he needed to know, _now_.

An image of the astral plane was thrust into his mind, the same one that showed all his lives, all the different versions of himself that dissappeared everytime he died. He watched horrified as a wave seemed to hit a group of them, and more than thirty fell down and stayed frozen, dead.....so many....how....?

Blue knocked foreheads with him, and she transmitted the urgency of the situation as calmly as she could while she was panicking, something that Lance should have been doing right about now, with the newly gained knowledge that death in this alternate dimension consumed way more quintessence than back home, and he'd just lost thirty lives all at once.

He choked.

He hacked and wheezed and tried to remember how to breathe, and he startled and tried to yelp when a hand touched his back without warning, rubbing it softly as a sweet voice whispered his name.

"Lance....are you okay? Was that too much?" Lance couldn't answer Keith, still under the aftereffects of the redo and his new -terrifying- discovery, lungs feeling clogged with blood and chest burning painfully as he died. He had no idea when he had woken up, were they at the beginning of Alex's story? At the end? This was....really incovenient, every other time, he had woken up alone in his room or somewhere else, but right now, he was in a room full of people worrying about him because he looked like he was about to keel over.

Not good.

On the back of his mind, Blue purred sadly, aiding him so he could finally breathe normally again, showing him the flashback he had before, the one where Allura cut all ties with the paladins, and with Alex. He had woken up towards the end of the story, then, and it was kind of a relief, because he didn't think he would have been able to listen to it for a second time.

"No, no, it's fine, I just.....choked on my own spit, no worries here." The red paladin looked dubious and concerned, his hands never leaving Lance's back until he felt he could breathe normally again. When Lance straightened and melted onto the couch, Keith finally relented, but he could see that the other was keeping an eye on him, brow furrowed and leg bouncing up an down in nervousness, or maybe worry, this Keith was hard to read.

Feeling a little less like he was going to die, Lance let his gaze roam about the room, noticing the looks the others were giving him, specially White, who looked like he wanted to leap out of his seat and hug him softly, and it looked like Matt shared the sentiment. Hunk was nowhere to be seen, but he appeared ticks later with a steaming cup of, tea? Oh man, how much he'd missed tea, he totally forgot that these guys had still been in contact with Earth, so they must of had food from home stored somewhere.

His stomach rumbled at the thought.

Hunk offered him the cup, and Lance took it without hesitation, drinking the soothing concoction and sighing in bliss, the taste sweet and comforting as he remembered it. To his left, Sven smiled and handed Lance one of those small chocolate bars, the ones with toppings and caramel, and he'd never eaten anything so fast in his whole life, shame nonexisting.

Finally, he let his gaze fall on Alex, sitting to his right, only now noticing how his hand was clutching Lance's sleeve, face pale and fingers trembling, eyes wide and fixated on his hunched form as he drank his tea, now worried for his other self, who seemed to be trapped in some sort of inner turmoil. Or maybe he was having flashbacks -real ones- from the trauma of his past choices, whatever the case, it was obvious he was upset and, dare he say, scared, so he resorted to talking Keith into comforting him.

It would help him distract them for a little so he could talk to Katie, too.

So he tapped the red paladin softly on the arm, Keith turning to gaze at Lance, purple eyes shining bright under the castle's fluorescent tubes, making them seem like swirling galaxies.

"Keith, hey....." He leaned a little to the left, close to the other, and tried not to feel embarrassed, remembering how sweet and affectionate he'd been with Alex. " I think other me is not feeling too hot right now, could you, maybe..." Quick as lightning, Keith gazed at his bethroded and immediately cursed under his breath, biting his lip as his eyes sought Alex's, only to find them glazed over and mildly panicked, which wasn't a good sign.

"Dammit, how didn't I see it before? This is just like back then...." Lance made a confused noise on the back of his throat, wanting to ask, always curious, always hungry to know more about the people who were a reflection of his own world. But before he could even open his mouth, Keith rested a hand on Lance's forehead, brushing his hair back and cupping his cheek, smiling gently and sorrowful alike as he spoke.

"It was something that happened a few months after Altea was destroyed. I won't say much, it's not my place, but Shiro got hurt, Lance was there, and he had to make a decision. It wasn't pretty, and he has always blamed himself for how things turned out, no matter what we told him. He must be remembering that right now, trapped in his own personal nightmare -he sighed- sometimes.... I think that I'm not enough, that I could do more, help him more, take part of his burden with me, some of the responsibility." Lance shook his head, hair whipping at the sudden movement, and he put his hand over Keith's, humming softly.

"You have no idea how much he appreciates what you do." Keith startled, eyes wide open. " I can see it in the way he looks at you, he loves you very much, cherishes every second you two spend together, your presence calms him down and soothes his wounded spirit. I know even without asking that there's no one else he would rather be with, than you." The blinding smile he received was something he would never forget, and Keith gifted him with a warm hug before walking up to his fiance, kneeling before him and proceeding to comfort him and bring him out of his flashback.

Lance, meanwhile, tried not to look at them as his eyes sought Katie, who had taken a seat on the far end of the other couch, pouting and grumbling as she muttered curses and other things he couldn't understand. He stood up as inconspicuously as he could and strided towards her, his game plan clear in his mind: _find the sniper, eliminate the threat, protect._

Katie's eyes rose to meet him, and she immediately straightened, maybe by force of habit, or maybe because she could see the seriousness in his eyes. "Katie....I need to ask you for a favor." She clenched her hands together, chin resting on her knuckles as her head tilted in question.

"What is it?"

"Well, before, when I was attacked by the pirates and you guys rescued me, they were using some kind of...cloaking tech to hide, and now I'm worried that they might have snuck up on us or something." Katie frowned in distaste. "So I was wondering if you had a way to find out." She hummed in thought, eyes settling on Lance's face as she rummaged through her pockets, taking out a holopad and keyboard that she used to type something in.

Expression tight and overcome with mild annoyance, she spoke with evident suspicion marring her features. "Why so sudden? -he startled- You've been listening to Alex's story calmly till now, until you had that fit five minutes ago, and now you fear we've been tricked? It doesn't add up." He felt himself sweat underneath his suit, trying to keep his gaze steady as to not give anything away, hands trembling with the need to fidget as he always did when nervous.

"It just suddenly came to me, that's all. If you don't want to make sure, that's okay, I was just curious and concerned for your safety. I mean, with Alex having a bounty on his head and all, things must have been difficult for you all." Mouth pulled suddenly into a frightening smirk, Katie leaned forward as her eyes, guarded and unforgiving, bore holes into Lance.

"And just how do you know that? Alex hasn't said anything about his head having a price." He stilled, breath stopping as his lungs froze over and his heart clenched painfully, mouth clinking shut as his brain tried to piece together his mistake.

It wasn't hard to do, he'd messed up the time on the story in which Alex had talked about the bounty and the hunters, and now he had a suspicious Katie on his back and little time to be able to find an excuse or reasoning as to why he knew things that he should not.

He decided to go with a half truth, hoping that it would be enough to sate her curiosity and mitigate her wariness, he didn't want to make her uncomfortable or think he was untrustworthy, he just wanted to help them all, make things right.

It was why Blue had brought him over here, after all.

His lion purred in agreement, and nuzzled his cheek softly, lending him her support and unwavering love, trying to convey just how brave he was being and how proud she was of him and how his team would be too when he returned home.

The word home was like a punch to the gut, and the thought of his team was nearly enough to bring him to tears, mouth upturning and lips trembling as he basked in the memories of his friends. Blue had talked about going back, but just how was he going to do that was still to be seen, the gate had been destroyed, after all, by his own will, his determination to keep his family safe.

It wasn't something he regretted, but he hadn't contemplated the notion of going back, not yet at least, doubtful as he was of everything surrounding him.

Taking in a deep breath he swept all those thoughts and feelings away, and tried hard to steel his resolve and give Katie a look he hoped was sincere enough, honest enough, for her to believe him. If nothing else, to believe he would never intentionally hurt anyone there and that his only wish was to help.

"When I was being attacked, those guys talked about a bounty that would make them rich. At first, I didn't know what they were talking about, but if what Alex said was any indication of Allura's intentions....it was obvious who the bounty was for and what the princess was trying to accomplish." The other's eyes never left his, and his determined gaze never wavered either, they were at a stalemate, neither of them giving in, Katie trying to dissect him where he stood while he tried to make her understand that he was serious.

A beeping sound had both of them looking down, and Katie muttered a curse he hadn't heard in ages as a small red dot lit up on the map, on the very same room they were standing in, right above their heads.

" _Shit_." His feelings exactly. "You were right, one of those bastards snuck in, my system wasn't able to detect him because of his cloaking tech, it looks like they tweaked it with some illegal shit and it's made them undetectable. Fuck." Lance leaned down so they could speak softer and not alarm the others, panic would do them no good.

"Can you give me some coordinates? Accurate position?" Katie bit her lip, but eventually nodded, eyes darting around as inconspicuously as possible, searching for her teammates and making sure they were safe.

"I can, I know where that little shit is. But....what are you going to do with that information?" He smirked, eyes lighting up with mischief and a desire for vengeance.

"I'll shoot him down, what else?" Her eyes widened as her mouth opened in a silent gasp, realization shining in her gaze as she curled her fists tight.

"That's right...your bayard...you don't use twin swords like Alex, do you?" He laughed, soft and barely a whisper.

"No, I don't, I'm the team's sharpshooter, and I'm going to show you just how deserving I am of that name. You keep an eye on things here." She gulped and nodded, fingers moving over the keyboard at rapid speeds, hacking on the cameras and the faulty security system on the castle and improving it within minutes, he was sure.

He whirled around and caught sight of Keith sitting on Alex's lap, arms around his neck as he poured sweet kisses all over his face and neck, where a scar could be seen, his other half chuckling and closing his eyes in bliss at the ministrations, surely enjoying the affection his fiance was giving him.

Lance felt himself blush to the tip of his ears, face as red as the matching rings he now noticed on their fingers, shining bright admist the curtain of black hair falling over them both. He turned around as quickly as he could ,feeling like he was intruding or peeping or something equally embarrassing, and did his best to calm down and enter what he liked to call _'the zone'._

' _Focus, concentrate, you have only one objective, one mission, keep them safe_.' He nodded to himself and walked towards the door, telling the others he had to go to the bathroom when they asked where he was going. He exited as fast as he could, and once the door closed behind him, he whirled around and looked above, high towards the ceiling, eyes searching for any kind of vent or ladder, something that let him climb to higher ground.

 _'There must be something, that guy had to get up there somehow._ ' And then he saw it, a small hatch on the upmost left corner of the ceiling, small blue lights blipping near the handle. It wasn't something easily seen, but if you searched for it, it wasn't difficult to find, either.

Lance pondered just how he was going to get up there, and saw from the corner of his eye some tubes and pipelines amongst some cabling, the perfect way to climb up towards his destination. Without double checking if it was safe -he didn't have time- he gripped one of the tubes on the wall as tight as he could, and proceeded to claw his way up, the excercise reminding him of his younger days, when he would go climbing with his siblings to have fun.

He tried to ignore the throbbing of his broken wrist and ribs as best as he could.

He neared the ceiling in a matter of minutes and stopped, trying to gain enough momentum to throw himself in the direction of the hatch and grasp one of the pipes. He did so with a little bit of difficulty, gritting his teeth with the amount of pressure he was putting on his shoulders and arms. But eventually, he began moving as he hung high above ground, and managed to throw open the hatch and slide inside, staying on his back for a tick to catch his breath before he remembered just why he was there.

He needed to be quick, he wasn't going to let these people get hurt, not if he was there to stop it.

He crawled amongst the vents -they were bigger than he expected- making a face at the cobwebs and dust that had settled there. It seemed not even a high tech castle could be completely clean, and it made his fantasies of a clean-free future wither and die, although he enjoyed the benefits of such advanced technology, that was for sure.

Before long, he finally saw the light at the end of the vents, and he made his way there as silently and stealthily as he could, opening the hatch slowly, eyes roaming around, trying to spot the enemy. Of course, he just forgot that he had cloaking tech, so he wasn't going to find him with his eyes only, so he recurred to his trump card, he focused all of his aura on his eyes, and began looking again -something he should have done back when they attacked him before, but he'd been under pressure, so sue him for forgetting-, this time smirking as he caught a black and grey aura, slippery and dripping to the floor like oil, thick and goey and disgusting to look at.

It was definitely the guy that had shot him before, and now he was going to repay the favor.

Crawling outside the vents, he positioned himself so he was on higher ground than the bounty hunter, and summoned his Bayard with a quick movement, his eyes never leaving his target, intently focused on not failing this mission, he couldn't afford to be careless.

He looked through the scope and aimed, finger on the trigger, settings on 'incapacitate', breaths long and deep and body completely still. He counted to three, and fired.

The resulting noise echoed throughout the chamber, and he heard a commotion going down below, people shouting and yelling to take cover as the body of the pirate fell down towards the metal ground, the sound of breaking bones making him flinch.

He didn't mean for that to happen, but it wasn't like he could've prevented it, either, far away as he was. He let his head fall with a thud on the beam before him, listening to the sounds that permeated the room, and caught snippets of phrases, words spoken in fright, panicked voices asking for....him?

"Lance! Where's Lance? Why hasn't he come back yet?" That was Keith's voice, and he sounded so worried and tense, that Lance felt bad for eavesdropping instead of going back and joining them, but he needed a tick to calm down, everything was too much. He needed to come to terms with the fact that his redos were fucked up in this universe, and the consequences his last one brought him.

"Maybe more of those pirates managed to escape and infiltrate the ship, maybe he's hurt." White's voice, thick with concern, echoed until it reached his ears, and Lance couldn't help the sad smile that bloomed on his face. He wasn't Shiro, not by a long shot, but he'd missed the worry his leader professed to all members of Voltron, always trying to recount for injuries or ailments and trying his best to keep them in top shape.

"Keith, calm down and think about this logically." Alex spoke, voice tight. "Look at this pirate, his wound seems to have been caused by a rifle of some sort, what reason could another pirate have to shot one of their own?"

"Ahh....you're right, I...."

"Man, can you guys please calm down? Lance is safe, he's the one that blew this dude off the roof, actually." A high pitched sound was heard at Katie's confession, and Lance took it as his cue to show himself. He was finally calm enough to not be a trembling mess, so he stood, stumbling just a little, and peered over the edge of the beam he was on, catching Sven's eye as the other gave him an animated wave, eyes shining with mirth and relief.

"Lance! I'm glad to see you're okay!" Sven walked towards his position, standing just below him, and the proceeded to open his arms wide and smile at him, tiling his head as if asking him to go ahead. The other members of Alternate Voltron dropped their shoulders, relief evident in their eyes and body language as they saw him, safe and sound, their eyes focused on him as they let out deep sights in tandem.

Lance sweatdropped and laughed nervously.

"Sven, I dont think that's a good idea, I weight more than it looks like, and I'm like...?" He peered down once more, a slight sense of vertigo giving him a phantom feeling of nausea." I'm like, twenty feet above ground or something, I don't want to hurt you, I'll just go back the way I came." Sven shook his head, eyes crinkling as he waved his arms up and down.

"Don't worry, I'm stronger than I look, too, just jump in here, it'll be faster." Lance bit his lip and pondered his options, he could go back through the vents, crawling with spiders and dust and grime -ugh- or he could jump down right now -despite his slight fear of heights- and be done with it.

Nobody looked concerned for White's twin brother, so he must've been telling the truth about how strong he was, he just hoped he didn't break his arms or something when he fell.

He nodded towards the other, retracting his bayard and latching it onto his hip, then, peeping over the edge, he walked ahead and let himself fall, absolutely terrified and reevaluating his life choices, a small yelp of fright escaping his lips as he collided with something.

He blinked, disoriented, and looked up and into the dark eyes of the yellow paladin, the other holding him with seemingly zero difficulty, looking down at him with content, his grip never faltering even as his hands trembled slightly.

A black and red blur passed through the corner of his eye, and before he could react, he had a handful of Keith peering concerned down at him, long hair tickling his face as the other leaned in close, nearly touching foreheads. It looked like this Keith didn't know the meaning of personal space -being bethroded to his other self and all had probably vanished all his inhibitions, Lance knew he was the king of physical contact- and he felt himself flush slightly at the intense gaze that was focused on him.

"Uhmmm....hi?" Keith rolled his eyes, but held Lance's hand as soon as his feet touched the ground, Sven going to stand besides his brother, who was looking at the unconscious pirate laying unceremoniously on the floor.

"What just happened?" The red paladin led him to sit back on the couch, chest and wrist throbbing slightly from the effort he had exerted, his limping not passing unnoticed by the other occupants.

Lance plopped down besides his other self, who looked slightly anxious, even though his gaze was clear and determined, just like the first time he saw him. Lance fidgeted with the sleeves of his suit, eyes searching for Katie, who huffed and came close to sit by him, summoning once again his computer as she typed something or another.

" He just took down an intruder, that's what. Lance here came to me a few ticks ago, he told me he was worried because the pirates that had attacked him seemed to have some kind of cloacking tech, and he wanted to know if some might have infiltrated the ship." Lance nodded along, half listening to her story, mind going through a loop of the memories of his previous re-do, still trying to process everything and store it in his brain to be able to function normally.

"So I told him that my system would have detected them anyway, but it turns out it didn't, because those bounty hunters had tweaked their stuff with illegal parts, and my program wasn't able to pinpoint their location at all." She narrowed her eyes, vision focused on the holo screen in front of her, probably trying to see if her programming had any bugs or errors.

"I managed to improve the tracking system and discovered that yeah, there was an intruder here, and he was poised to strike on the structure above the ceiling. Then Lance offered himself to take the dude down, he didn't want to cause a ruckus and alert the pirate, so he left alone and shot him down, end of story." From his right, he felt as Alex slumped, shoulders falling as his whole body calmed down at the prospect of safety and a threat being taken care of.

"That was really dangerous, Lance." He turned to gaze at Alex. "I am the leader of this group, you should have consulted me before taking action. If something happened to you, I wouldn't have forgiven myself, it's my duty to keep all of you, my family, safe, and that -he rested a hand on his shoulder- that includes _you_ , Lance." He averted his gaze, ashamed and embarrassed , he'd thought that they wouldn't care much what he did, since he was from another reality and all, and he'd forgotten that Alex was the one in charge here.

He wasn't used to see the others refer to him for advice and orders, wasn't used to be seen as a figure of authority, showered with respect and admiration, so sometimes, he forgot that everyone had a different role and motivations, and that running amok and doing his thing wouldn't have consequences.

Obviously, he'd been wrong. Because his other self was a really good leader, cared for his team and their well being as much as Lance did, protected them with a tenacity that bordered on recklessness, always worrying about them first, and himself last.

They were really alike on that aspect.

Blue purred in agreement.

"Besides -he turned to look at Keith- you still have to go back home, don't you? You wouldn't want to get hurt before going back to your Keith. I'm pretty sure -if he's anything like me- that he would kill us for not keeping you safe." His face reddened like a fire had ben lit, cheeks and ears burning with surprise and disbelief as he sputtered and gaped, all the while trying to form a coherent thought to argue back.

"That's not- we're not- he's not even- it's not like that!" He settled for stuttering and letting out a stream of incomplete nonsense, hoping his message got across.

"Oh?" Keith tiled his head, hair swaying back and forth.

"He's...I...." He deflated like all his energy had been sapped, recalling his Keith's frowns and how little they'd talked after the thing with Lotor." We aren't exactly...the best of friends, we aren't talking right now, and I'm pretty sure neither of us is interested like... _that_." He clutched the couch's pillows tight between his fingers, grip tightening as he remembered, once more, that he might be stuck on this side, with no way to return home, no way to finally apologize to Keith like he deserved and make things right.

"Humm." He heard Keith hum at his side, and he knew, even without looking, that he was smiling. "I'm not so sure about that. We might be different people with different experiences, but Red said, once, that our souls, the core of what makes us...well, us, stays the same all throughout the universes, space, and time. And I know, no matter what, that I would never, in any of those realities, be able to hate Lance for real, I'm sure if you talk with your Keith, you'll realize that, too." The worst part was, that he knew he was right, he knew, from that time he died on Keith's arms on the med bay, that the red paladin didn't hate him, he'd just been hurt by his lies, afraid to open up and be betrayed like so many times before.

Lance knew, but he still had doubts, still couldn't fully believe that Keith would forgive him and they could be friends, he was still scared of messing up.

He was such a coward.

"Okay -Alex clapped his hands- enough dawdling around, let's get this guy frozen on a cryopod and send him to the nearest prison, we really need to restock on supplies and make some repairs to the ship, specially now that we are more in numbers." Lance looked down, it didn't feel good to be a burden to people that already had it hard enough as it was, they were short on money and food, and buying things was increasingly hard because they were all wanted people.....if only he could help them somehow....

He brightened instantly, jumping from the couch -and ignoring his ribs, that flared angrily reminding him that yes, he was still injured- smiling wide as he thought of a way to repay them for all they were doing for him. Even thought they would argue and deny him at first, saying that he was the one that was helping them so much, he knew they would eventually relent, if nothing else, Lance could be really persuasive when he wanted to.

"I could go and buy what you need!" All sets of eyes focused on him, and he tried not to flinch at the attention, foot thumping on the floor rhythmically as he awaited a response.

"That's sweet of you, but it's too dangerous, Lance." White smiled at him, and Lance felt himself pout and grumble low on his throat, just because he was younger, didn't mean they had to treat him like he was made of glass.

"Look, I appreciate the concern and all, but just like you, I'm a soldier, I have my own set of experiences and battles, and while I might not have the same level of knowledge or real life fights that you guys have, I know what I'm doing. I'm a paladin of voltron too, I can handle myself, I mean, just look at that guy." He pointed to the still out cold pirate, and everyone gazed at the shot right above his heart, pondering, weighing the prons and cons, most likely.

Katie gazed at him, worrying her lip as she spoke. "They'll recognize your face, that's the reason they hurt you in the first place, they thought you were Alex." The latter flinched, and Katie looked guilty for a tick before she shook her head, eyes landing on Lance once more. "Even if you look younger, your face is way too similar, and Alex is the number one wanted person in the universe right now. That's why we think it's a bad idea, not because we doubt your abilities or skills, but because we're worried, dummy." Lance felt shame coloring his cheeks, feeling like a child getting scolded by an older sister. But he still wanted to help, and he was good at sneaking and blending in, his makeup skills were off the charts back when he'd helped his sisters get ready for their dates, and he knew he could make himself look completely different if he wanted to.

Not even his own mother could recognize him if he set his mind to it. And he was also a really, really good liar -nothing to be proud of but- and an actor in his everyday life, so he was positive he was the man for this mission. He just needed to convince them of that fact first.

"I really appreciate the worry, like, really. But Blue brought me here to help, and I know you're short on supplies, already rationing everything to the extreme and eating just enough to go by." Hunk bowed his head, eyes swirling with guilt, but Lance send him a smile, trying to reassure him that it wasn't his fault, he was doing his best with what he had, after all.

"And now that I'm here, I'm an extra mouth you need to feed, and I need to pull my weight and try not to be a burden, I'm here to help, after all -Blue purred- even with something seemingly as small as gathering supplies." Alex frowned, clearly displeased, tapping his foot incessantly as he debated what he'd just said, knowing that, in the end, Lance was right, and they'll have to let him go, whenever they wanted to or not.

Eventually, Alex sighed, Keith holding his hand and whispering sweet nothing into his ear. "Okay -Lance beamed- you'll go on this mission, but -he deflated like a balloon- only if we approve of your disguise. Our faces are wildly known in the entire universe, we are wanted everywhere and some people would kill us on sight without hesitation, so I need to know you'll be safe before I allow you to go solo, is my responsibility as the leader. Understood?" Lance nodded, ready to blow them away with his skills, he'd been the one to do his sister's make up when she married, and at the Halloween parties? He'd done everyone's face paint and no one could tell who was who, it was like being in a home full of strangers, his family had been awed and amazed.

And now, with advanced alien tech on his side? He was sure he could fool anyone, use his looks and social skills to entrap the vendors and get the supplies in a few hours tops. And maybe he would even gather some info on the way, see if he could find out what was happening on the backstage of the Altean Empire, because he had a feeling there was something they were all missing.

Blue nuzzled his side and sent a clapping sound directly into his brain, startling him for a tick before he smirked at the way she had of telling him he was right. It just didn't make sense, mad or not, grieving or not, older or younger, Allura wasn't the type of person to lay judgement on anyone without proof so harshly, not on this reality, nor on any other.

Alex had said that they lost connection with her for a while after the explosion, and maybe, just maybe, something occurred on that lapse of time that twisted her mind and led her to become what she was today.

He just needed to find out _what_.

He looked up and smiled, full of a newfound resolution with a touch of mischief.

"Well, who feels like helping me get a makeover?" Keith, Hunk, Matt and Sven raised their hands, and he chuckled at the betrayed look Alex sent to his fiance, a pout making it's way onto his face as he huffed, arms crossing across his chest.

"Have fun, guys." White nodded to them before getting up, kissing Matt's cheek softly before ushering Pidge towards the control room as she kept muttering about inspecting all the systems and making sure no one else would be able to sneak in on them again, her brow furrowed in annoyance and frustration, but also determination. White just shook his head fondly before holding the passed out pirate by the scruff of his shirt and dragging him behind as he walked, telling Alex that he would take him to the freezing chambers to be put into stasis, to later dump him on the nearest prison anonymously.

Being a wanted person was hard.

"I'm going to check the star map to see if there's any mall close to our location -Lance looked at Alex- I'll try to find one with weak security or one that's filed as safe on the Gamara archives. Although it's unlikely, Honerva can only do so much on her own." Lance let out a sound of confusion from the back of his throat, eyes widening again at the mention of Lotor's mother.

"Gamara? What's that?" Alex looked at him, expression confused before he dragged a hand over his face, a sigh leaving his lips.

"Sorry, forgot about the _'alterate world'_ and differences and stuff. The Guns of Gamara are a rebellious group composed by Alteans that do not agree with the Queen's ideals, and Galra that are trying to dethrone her to honor their alliance to king Alfor for peace, doing their best to free the universe of her tyranny. They're actually our best allies right now, lead by Honerva and Zarkon, while their son, Lotor, carries on with stealth missions and helps us whenever he can." ' _Oh_ ' he thought _'Just like the Blades back home'._

It was strange, though, to hear the name Zarkon and the word ally in the same sentence, but he had to wrap his mind around the fact that people he knew from his own reality might be completely different here, he couldn't judge based on the knowledge he had, that wouldn't be fair to them.

"Sven is actually a member of it , working for them at the same time he fulfills his paladin duties, relations and alliances were a lot smoother since he was there to interject for us." Lance nodded, understanding now why Sven's armor had been different from the other's. " Well, do your best with the....' _makeover_ ', I'll look into the safest location for you to go." Alex patted his shoulder affectionately and ruffled his hair before walking out, Lance huffing and pouting after he left, feeling like a child being smothered by a big brother.

"Well -Keith approached him with his arms full of devices and products- shall we begin, then?" The red paladin smiled, sweet and soft, and Lance felt a part of himself melt before he shook his head and returned the smile, opening his arms wide in invitation.

"Show me what you've got!" Their shared laughter made something flutter inside his stomach, and he gritted his teeth and clenched his good hand, telling himself over and over again that getting attached was a bad idea, and he should stop being so friendly with all of them.

It would only bring hurt later on.

\--

Walking through the aisle, Lance smirked at his reflection on the storefront of some kind of supermarket, eyes crinkling as he chuckled, remembering the amazed and incredulous faces of Alternate Voltron as they gazed at him with mouths gaping and eyes bulging out of their sockets.

With Keith's, Hunk's, Matt's and Sven's help, alongside a gratuitous amount of alien tech, his makeup skills and other stuff, he'd managed to become unrecognizable even to the people who knew it was him, and he found it as hilarious as when he'd been back home.

He'd chosen long black hair for his disguise, the curls nearly touching his lower back as the fringe went to the side, covering his forehead and his -now- pink eyes with a black sclera, which he still found creepy, but Keith insisted that a lot of species had that trait, and it would do him good to pass by unnoticed and blend in.

He'd also painted his skin with some tech, and he tried not to laugh out loud when he remembered seeing himself naked and completely blue. It'd been amusing and the other's had giggled too when they saw him, asking for his choice of color before he admitted that he'd chosen it because of his best girl, Blue, who had purred at the thought as she cuddled him.

After the physical changes had finished and he'd changed his face structure with makeup -optical illusions were the best- the others had given him some goggles for his head, clothes typical of a wandering alien, and even drew some scars on his visible skin to make the whole picture more believable.

Needless to say, when the others had seen him, it'd been obvious that he could pass by unnoticed, even moreso when he'd faked an accent and grunted like a thug, the team gaping at the skills he kept a secret from everyone. He was adaptable, after all, any situation he could sweetalk himself out of, he knew what to say, how to say it, what to cater to, who to flatter.....he was a master of deceit, and his words were his weapon.

So of course he ended up being allowed to go gather the supplies, Alex hadn't had any argument or reasoning to ban Lance from going, and he'd even admitted that his skills were 'unusual but remarkable', which wasn't exactly praise, but he would take what he could get.

He chirped and hummed a little tune, skipping through the store and getting the things on his list -the one Hunk gave him-, he had a list for each person, since everyone needed different things, and they took advantage of the situation and decided to get as much stuff as they could, not knowing when the next occasion might arise.

Thankfully, he had a medium sized ship, so he would be able to carry everything, and the Gamara guys had assured him that it was untraceable and free of anything that could relate him to Voltron or any other treasunous group, so he was probably on the clear.

He paid to the cashier, who sent him off with a smile, and he made another trip -the third already- to the ship to leave the stuff there and look for a electronics store, or something as similar as he could get, anyway. He was unloading his purchase onto the cargo part of his ship when he spotted the colors blue and white from the corner of his eye. And even though it took him a minute to react -he was used to react at black and purple or magenta- he quickly closed the gate and crawled to the back to avoid being seen, heart beating wildly inside his chest as he noticed, for the first time, that every ship in the near vicinity had left.

 _Shit_.

Slowly, voices made themselves known, and he felt the hairs on the back of his neck stand, palms sweating as he tried to keep his breaths silent, pulse roaring in his ears.

"....and why is this ship still here? We requested specifically that this sector of the building was emptied before our arrival." A rough, grouchy voice spoke, seemingly a man.

"I'm sorry sir, please have mercy, the owner was still shopping when the announcement was made, and we haven't been able to track him yet." Lance could picture the guy sweating bullets as he tried to justify why the demands of the -most probably- Alteans hadn't been fulfilled.

A beeping sound alerted him of the nearing of someone, and he stopped breathing, terrified, what Alex had said about the Alteans and their cruelty ringing loudly in his ears.

"Humm, it seems to be a standard cargo ship, most probably property of a wandering no one. I'll let it slide this time, but do not let an event such as this repeat again."

"Yes, of course my lord, it won't."

Rapid footsteps grew farther away and another beeping sound was heard before a new voice joined the previous one, feeling like the slow dripping of venom, gooey and black in it's viciousness. Lance had never though that voices or sounds could be described like this, but as he listened, he grew more and more uncomfortable, dread swirling in the pit of his stomach.

"Have you arrived, Erias?" Lance shivered, chills raking his body as he froze in place.

"Yes, we are at the designated location, commander Hira." Lance felt like he'd heard that name before, and struggled to remember where in his panicked state, hands clasped over his mouth in an attempt to stifle the whimpers that wanted to escape.

"Although, I want to ask - if I may - why did you chose this place in particular, commander?" The woman's voice chuckled, the sound making a chill travel down Lance's spine as he felt a sob rise in the back of his throat. What was wrong with him? Why did he feel so scared? He felt on edge and on the verge of a panic attack from just a voice....what was going on?

"This place was the only one far away enough from the Queen's clutches, the only one out of range of her all-seeing eyes. She has many, her influence reaches even the farthest ends of the universe, and she couldn't know of my intentions." Lance listened, heart beating loudly inside his ribcage as he heard the word Queen....Allura.

The other voice - Erias- hummed. "I understand, she's gotten quite....overbearing in the last few deca-phoebs, her control on what happens around her has become strict, and nothing happens without it reaching her ears first. It's troublesome....for us, at least."

"Indeed, and that is why I chose this quadrant specifically, her power does not reach this far, this place is out of her line of sight, perfect for our activities. You know what you have to do, don't you? It is imperative that you recollect the parts necessary to fix the pods, the Queen cannot ever hear of this, if she does.....all my carefully laid plans will amount to nothing." The woman's voice darkened with a threatening edge, her deciviengly sweet tone promising nothing but despair to those that failed to comply to her wishes, sickeningly syrupy as it dripped over the transmissor, a sound that Lance wouldn't soon forget.

"And we wouldn't want that to happen, would we? Look at all we've achieved, everything the Empire is now.....is thanks to me, the Queen must remain oblivious to what happens outside her glass castle, and for that, we need to repair the two pods before long. If she ever as much as felt that quintessence again, I would have to take....drastic messures."

"Yes, we have worked too hard to let everything go to waste, I will gather the spare parts immediately and return to you. I will not fail you, Hira."

"I know you won't, my love, return to me soon. I will be waiting." A beep was heard before the connection was cut, and the one named Erias began barking orders to his companions, all of them leaving the ship and spreading out throughout the mall, intent on fulfilling whatever command he gave them.

Lance waited until he was absolutely certain he was alone, then proceeded to uncover his mouth, sob softly into his arm, and vomit on the floor next to his ship, lungs quivering and whole body trembling with incomprehensible terror. His hands shook as he tried to support himself, mind blank and devoid of rational though, he didn't understand what was happening to him, nor the dread and hysteria that filled him to the brim.

He just knew that whoever that voice was, whoever Hira was....her whole presence, her whole being, her whole soul was as dark and malicious as the worst of evils, dripping with ill intent and cruelty while hiding behind a mask of deceit. Why he could tell as much from just the sound of her voice? He didn't know, maybe her quintessence lay ridden on her every word, maybe he was just oversensitive to those kinds of things, maybe it had something to do with his own unusual abilities and this was a recently new breakthrough, or maybe it was just plain coincidence or his paranoical imagination.

Whatever it was, it bode for nothing good, and he needed to calm down and analyze the situation, he might have found his way of helping alternate Voltron end their predicament, he needed to focus and pull his weight, he needed to stop being a burden.

He heaved a few more times before stopping, wiping his mouth with a napkin and thanking god that the mess he'd made couldn't be seen from the platform, small mercies. He slumped on the side of his small ship and ran over the conversations he just heard, repeating them inside his head, whining softy when he felt blue headbutt him, her presence enveloping him as she threw comforting sounds his way, asking if he was okay, if he needed her, that she would come in a heartbeat and get him out of there.

He laughed softly before shaking his head no, _he was fine, he was okay_ , he just needed a few ticks to pull himself together and understand what just happened. Blue was as helpful as usual, sending him some thoughts and strings of words that eventually amounted to say that, _yes_ , he was right, he could now find out people's intentions by listening to their voices.

Some of them would be ridden with raw quintessence, like the druids', forcing people to do their bidding or obey their commands, and he could now see and counter that, while other's just carried different types of elemental quintessence depending on their intentions, and he was able to distinguish that and feel it deep in his being, the feedback he got being all that he needed to understand a person's inner thoughts.

Hira's had felt like a cradle of malice and darkness, and it evoked in him a feeling of danger like he'd never felt before.

Hira......Hira....... _Hira_? _Hira_!?

That.....but wasn't that...? Was it a coincidence? He bit his thumb and tapped his foot against the ground, eyes wide as he replayed the early conversation once again inside his head. Hira...that was the name of the scientist that had thrown herself into the rift, wasn't it? The one from Alex's story, but....she was dead, disappearing into the void never to be seen again, it was impossible for her to be......but was it?

Here Lance was, coming back time and time again, trying to fulfill the wishes of those long gone, trapped in a cycle without an end in sight. It wasn't so farfetched, to think that something similar might have happened to her, or that someone might have taken over her body, like Haggar had done with Lotor, he needed to have an open mind, not close himself off to the never-ending string of possibilities.

' _Two pods...quintessence.....keeping the Queen unaware...._.' It was obvious that this...Hira had something under wraps, some undercover operations that she didn't want Allura to know. Maybe it was what he needed, what Voltron needed, he had to find out exactly just what she was planning, what was so important that she had to keep it in the upmost secrecy and away from her own ruler.

His mind was done, he was going to sneak in on their ship and discover everything, he was sure the others would be delighted at whatever info he could scavenge, even if they would get mad at him for being reckless and rash. Blue didn't discourage him, but she didn't encourage him to proceed, either, she was just a supporting presence on the back of his mind, reminding him that he could count on her to help if it was needed.

He smiled sadly, sending her a hug, then crouched down by the rear end of his ship, and waited.

\--

About half an hour later, the whole entourage came back, droids carrying boxes full of spare parts and what Lance thought looked like scaultrite and Balmeran crystals. At the head of the group walked a tall man, with short gray hair and glasses framing his face, light blue markings under his eyes revealing that he was, in fact, Altean.

The man -who he supposed was Erias- walked ahead of the robots, opening up the hatch of his ship and striding inside quickly, not even bothering to look around or supervise the drones' work. That was fine by Lance, made his job way easier as he snuck around the back of his own ship, eyes darting around, glancing at the robots as they loaded the cargo inside from the other end, memorizing their movements to find their timing and the best moment to proceed.

He ran a quick scan to determine if it was safe to go inside, hoped their sensors didn't detect him, and ran forward, sliding on the floor and inside the ship, rapidly climbing on some pipes and onto the high ceiling. Right on time, too, since the droids filled the entrance and walked to their programmed spots, connecting to the energy outlets by the walls to recharge themselves, powering off in the process.

With a relieved sight, nerves and anxiety filling his body, Lance crawled forward on the ceiling, trying to follow the sound of Erias' voice, going towards - what he hoped was- the control room. Once he was close enough, he stilled, breaths short and apprehension smothering him, and he had half the mind to start his recorder before he froze in place, listening to the engines start up as the ship sailed, taking off towards the stars.

He had a tick to regret his actions, wondering how he was going to go back to the mall, his ship, and team Voltron, biting his lip as he came to the realization that maybe, just maybe, he hadn't thought this through and this hadn't been one of his brightest ideas.

Too late for that now, though, because he was trapped on an Altean ship, possibly on the way of finding some really juicy info....or meeting a really scary, really dangerous commander.

....

....Yeah, maybe he shouldn't have been so quick to decide.

Erias' voice brought him out of his reverie, and he stopped breathing, intent on catching everything that was said, make his trip at least be worthwhile.

"I have gathered everything you asked for, Commander. We have the necessary pieces to fix the pods, and the cloaking tech that was ' _given_ ' to us by the Olkari." Lance had a feeling that ' _given_ ' didn't mean the same for both of them, and he feared for the Olkari, who had been a huge help to his Voltron in the fight against Zarkon.

"Great job, Erias, I knew I could trust you with this. We cannot afford to dawdle, though, the energy of the pods is flickering, we need to repair them before their life force begins leaking out, the Queen would feel it if such a thing happened, and that is something we cannot afford."

"I still don't see why you insist on keeping her alive, then, if she's so much trouble."

"Oh, my love, you need to think bigger than that, everything I do is with purpose, everyone has a part to play in this stage that I created. The Queen is a martyr, she's needed, she's the lone, betrayed princess who lost everything, she's a figure that people will follow without prompting, she's loved, revered, cherished." Lance felt tears gather in his eyes, all the hairs on his body raising like ants were crawling on his skin. " She's the perfect façade." She had the gall to laugh, the sound grating his ears and making bile rise up in his throat.

Disgusting.

"Ahhh, I get it now. It would be difficult for the populace to follow you, someone unknown and not of royal blood, but with the Queen is different, isn't it?"

"Yes, have her spout some fancy words about peace and justice as she shares the injustices done to her and her race, and every single inhabitant will fall at her feet, swearing their loyalty to her as she voices promises of protection and eternity. It paves the way for us to wipe their free will away, and they become faithful servants to the Empire, just like it should be."

"You never cease to amaze me, you will be the one to bring true peace to this universe, Hira, only you know how to stop wars and corruption from spreading, tainting the lives of so many people, making so many suffer. Allura may hold the title and have the royal blood, but to me.....you are the real Queen."

Laughter was heard from both of them, and he supposed it should have been a heartwarming and sweet moment, a talk between lovers, but the sweltering feeling of anger and rage swirling deep in his stomach at discovering just what was it they had been doing made him sick. These people were monsters, they were using Allura, they were taking free will away from people, using anyone to further their own sickening plans.

Lance was going to put a stop to it even if it was the last thing he did.

"Set course to my base, Erias, the pods are a high priority over everything else."

"Understood, commander, setting course for-" Erias stopped abruptly as Hira interrupted him.

"Wait." Lance stilled, a sudden urge to flee making his blood boil as he tried to keep his tremors at bay, he could feel Hira smirking, her decievingly sweet voice coming through once again. "I changed my mind, set course for the Queen's castle -Lance froze- leave the crates with the stones there and then come to me. I think she'll like the..... _surprise_." Lance crawled away as fast as he could, mind reeling and thinking that maybe he could still leap away into dead space and go back to the mall.

But it was too late, the ship wormholed away, and he had to swallow the scream that wanted to tear itself from his throat, ears ringing with the echo of Hira's malevolent laughter as her voice faded from the communicator. Lance knew he'd been discovered, that somehow, someway, Hira had known that he was on the ship, she had thrown him into the wolves den with no chance of escape, and he was helpless but to wait for his final destination.

The Queen's castle.

He was oh so fucked.

\--

As soon as the ship docked and the coast was clear, Lance hurried to make a scan of the area so he could sneak away and hopefully disappear before anyone noticed his presence. The droids and guards had already taken all of the cargo outside, and were now in the process of piling up the crates on a nearby storage room.

He wasted no time and ran out of the ship as fast as he could, dodging behind pillars, statues, and anything that worked as a cover, his eyes always wandering around, paranoia making him think that someone was going to pop out suddenly and rat him out.

Thankfully, none of that happened, and as he crouched and crawled around the building, he eventually found himself -not really knowing how- in a completely white hallway, the columns and arcs reminiscing of those from ancient Greece, with high ceilings and golden chandeliers hanging from the walls, flowers in every corner and small table he could see.

There were enormous windows overlooking what had to be a garden, and he felt tempted to lean over and watch, but he slapped his cheeks and reminded himself that he had a mission to accomplish. Find an exit and get out of this mess he threw himself in alive.

He just needed to find a ship or even a speeder, override the Altean code like Katie had teached him to do, and fly out and away like it was nobody's business.

It should have been easy, but fate had other plans for him, and he froze in place when a commanding voice spoke to him from the other end of the corridor, tone stone cold and filled with nothing but anguish, betrayal, and a burning itch to bestow retribution.

It could only be one person.

"Well, well, well....and what do we have here?" Lance gulped and raised his eyes, breath caught in his throat as his gaze landed upon the cold blue ones of the Queen, Allura herself, standing regal and imposing in the distance, long hair trailing behind her as her dress billowed in an almost mystical manner.

She exuded authority and power from every pore of her body, and her eyes screamed danger, although her stance seemed relaxed and full of openings. She looked harmless and weaponless, and even though he knew better than to just assume things, seeing the face of one of the persons he respected and was close to again, he couldn't help but let his guard down a bit.

That was his downfall.

He bowed. "I'm so sorry, your majesty, I didn't mean to disturb you or appear before you unannounced, I came with the latest cargo ship to unload some gems for your court, and it seems I got lost in the midst of all the movement on the hangars. I beg your forgiveness, I will retire immediately." He felt a drop of sweat fall down the back of his neck, lip trembling strongly as he straightened, trying as hard as he could not to make eye contact.

He'd barely made the motion to turn around -no more than the intent of moving instead of actually moving his body, his joints ready to take the step to the side and bolt- when he felt a hot white pain on his chest, flaring and burning like a raging fire, and he had to take a second to realize and acknowledge what just happened.

He looked down, and saw the edge of a sword going through his chest, painted with his blood as it dripped slowly to the ground, the color staining the clear flooring, his boots, his shirt, his face....and the beautiful smooth skin of the hand holding the hilt.

Her voice as it spoke into his ear was seething, the pain and satisfaction in her pitch causing his eyes to water as he coughed, chest heaving for breath, breath that he couldn't seem to find.

"Did you really think....-she pushed the sword deeper, he whimpered- that I wouldn't recognize you? You can try to hide and disguise yourself all you want, but....-she leaned in closer-....McClain, you cannot cover up your disgustingly blue aura, nor all the sins you have committed." He gasped, looking up into the eyes of the one that should have been his friend, but he found nothing but hatred and contempt, her lips twisted into a delighted smile, the blood splattered across her face making her look like a vengeful angel.

"I will finally fulfill my desire, I will impart retribution upon you, who betrayed my trust and stole from me everything I held dear. You, who destroyed my home on purpose and killed my only family in the hopes of conquering our people, you who tried to have Hira killed because she knew the wonderful power the rift held and wanted such a thing for yourself. You who tricked and took advantage of the kind hearts of my people for your own gain, you, who I will never _forgive_." Lance blinked, tears running down his cheeks as he tried to comprehend what she was saying, but the burning in his chest and the knot on his throat made it difficult to focus.

His legs trembled with the strain of keeping him up, and his vision grew blurry and hazy as he looked at the shadow of what had once been a merciful princess, her hand never hesitating as she plunged the sword deeper still, causing him to scream and fall on his knees, his body holding no energy to move on it's own anymore.

He gagged and cried as he tried to lift his hand towards the Queen, vision wavering but always focused on the person before him ."...'Llura.....why...." He saw as her eyes widened momentarily, but the look was soon gone as she ripped the sword out of his body without mercy. She held the weapon high above her head, and in a swift movement that he was able to see, brough the edge down right into his neck.

His scream got cut off before it even left his lips.

\--

 _"AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH._ " A heart wrenching scream woke him up, and he had to take a second to understand that the sound was coming from his own throat, which was now wrecked and not able to produce any sound besides pitiful whimpers.

He tried to breathe in an out, but it was no use, his right hand went to his neck, touching the skin there, feeling the phantom of the cut that had undoubtedly beheaded him not a second before. His whole body trembled violently, and his eyes were wide and full of tears that didn't stop falling, he was crying and letting out little screams that could barely be heard, seeing as his vocal chords had been strained to unimaginable levels.

He clutched at his neck and his arms, nails digging into the soft flesh and leaving trails of blood in his wake, lungs straining to take in air to no avail, he couldn't breathe, he couldn't speak, he couldn't _breathe_. A lump formed in his throat and he lurched forward, gagging and wheezing as he vomited, legs shaking even in his position on the floor, heart rabitting inside his constricted ribcage, too fast, too much, _too much_.

He wasn't aware of anything surrounding him, couldn't see, hear, speak, still couldn't breathe, his mind was still reeling and trying to accept the fact that someone with the face of one of his friends had beheaded him without an ounce of regret. Black creeped into the edges of his vision as he heaved, and he barely felt the touch of a freezing hand before everything went out.

He came to in pieces, small snippets of his early fiasco slotting into place slowly, peacefully, as to not startle him, overhearing Hira, deciding to infiltrate her ship, changing course, meeting the Queen.

His demise.

He was delighted to notice that he didn't panic this time, instead chosing to take deep breaths and expand his lungs, relishing in the fact that he could now breathe normally, far from the choked up state he'd found himself in not long ago. His ideas were in order, and he was cataloguing and analyzing everything that he'd heard and seen on his previous encounter, storing that information for a later date. It was....easier than he remembered, going through the motions of the redo without feeling like he was going to cry or pass out.

He didn't have to wonder why for too long, though. Blue's presence was surrounding him, not unlike it usually did, but this time it was different, her cooling touch was all around him, covering his person from head to toe, as if a thin layer of frost was etched into his skin, keeping him whole and preventing him -his mind- from breaking.

That couldn't be more true.

She whined on the back of his mind and sent a caress and a question. _'Okay yet?'_ , he shook his head and blew out a puff of air, he didn't want it to end so soon, he wanted to relish in the sensation of not feeling lost and hurt. Right now he could think, could see everything from an impartial point of view, analyze details and info without feeling vulnerable and weak.

He liked that feeling.

Blue growled in warning, and he understood that he couldn't keep his emotions under wraps forever, no matter how good it felt to have everything dulled and supressed. He nodded his head and broke the ice that shrouded him, the onslaught was immediate.

He curled in on himself and whimpered, eyes leaking small tears as his hands clutched his hair, teeh biting his lip while he rocked back and forth on the cold metal floors of.....of.....he shot up like a spring and looked around, eyes widening and troubles forgotten for a tick as he gazed at....Erias' ship?

He was....sitting on the pipes by the door, laying down on a slab on the ceiling, right were he crawled in the first time he boarded, and from the small window on the hatch he could see......space? He muttered to himself a string of ' _no_ ', head shaking right and left as he pinched himself and tried to make sense of the situation.

He couldn't be here! That was....from the very beginning, ever since the first time he...came back, he'd always gone back to one time he'd been either asleep, passed out, or any other type of unconsciousness. It always made the transition easier and helped him and those around him freak out less, but right now....in this moment.....he'd gone back to the time where Erias' ship was already planetside, which meant.....

Which meant he was stuck on the ship with no way out. Even if he died again, he would probably come back to this point in time.....he was trapped on an enemy ship headed towards his eventual murder, stuck on a loop unless he found a way out for himself.

_Shit._

_Shit , shit._

It looked like his redos were more fucked up in this reality than he'd thought, not only did they take more energy out of him every time, but they couldn't send him back to the right moment to begin anew and try again, now he would never know when or where he was going to wake up if he'd ever failed again, and Blue had already warned him of spending too much lives in here.

He curled in on himself again, and prayed to any god out there for a helping hand in this mess he'd unknowingly put himself in.

And, for once, the universe listened to him.

 


	10. Faith

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As Lance tries to works through his broken redos, he find something that might tip the scales of the war in their favor, and is hopeful that things will get better from there on out, that he has finally found a way of acomplishing the mission Blue sent him here to do.
> 
> Of course, he just cannot catch a break, ever. And among the very good news, he finds a darkness so overwhelming and wicked it feels like the light will never reach him again, and he has to make a though decision to be able to move forward.
> 
> Things improve, he feels like he's on the right track again, but fate seems to have other ideas -it's getting old how he never sees it coming, honestly- and trouble follows him along for the ride, putting in jeopardy everything he and Team Voltron have worked so hard to obtain.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Update time! What to say, this chapter gave me grief, like, my muse and inspiration were on vacation as i struggled to write this out, it sucked, honestly. I had, like, 6 projects that i wanted to work on instead of this, and i procrastinated so much it's not even funny.
> 
> But, i worked really hard on this chapter, poured all my love into it and didn't give up even when it looked like i couldn't write, so i present to you chapter 10, hope you enjoy. :)
> 
> Next chapter is coming along, slowly, but surely, it'll most probably be the last one for this arc, so stay tuned, i'll try to keep the monthly updates going. (Also, who else is really excited for season 5? I know i am, good god.)
> 
> As always, feel free to share your thoughts or just scream into the void with me, or in the comments, i'll scream back, promise *winks*.
> 
> Many thanks to everyone who comments, bookmarks, kudos, suscribes or just takes the time to read this monster of a fic, you guys keep me going.
> 
> Love, Ulti. <3

* * *

 

A sudden noise had Lance frozen in place, and he stopped moving, stopped breathing. He curled in on himself even more and listened to the sound, praying to any god out there that they weren't coming for him, that they hadn't discovered him.

He wasn't sure how the sentries hadn't found his hiding place yet, what with his early scream and ruckus. His raw throat was proof enough of the volume he'd used in his panicked state, so he didn't understand how nobody had heard him or his sobs.

He waited for a few minutes, just to be sure. And when nothing moved and the noise was still heard from far away, he relaxed, shoulders slumping and hands falling from where they'd been covering his mouth. He rested his forehead on the pipe below and let out a breath he'd been holding, small tremors racking his body as he tried to come to terms with his situation.

So, he'd messed up.

He'd thought it was a good plan at the time. Sneak in, find some juicy info, sneak out, go back to team Voltron, and pat himself on the back for a job well done.

Obviously, his brain had been a pile of mush thanks to the strange _'Hira'_ experience, and he'd barely gone over his strategy, jumping in headfirst, mindless of the danger, consequences, or any holes on his _'perfectly crafted_ ' plan.

Now, with a sober mind and his common sense working at full potential again, he was able to see just how reckless and utterly stupid that had been. He hadn't thought of an escape route, hadn't even considered that there might have been other ways to get what he wanted. He'd been so obsessed with finding out the truth that he hadn't been thinking straight.

And that had been his downfall.

He could have sticked a tracker on the ship and follow after them with his own as soon as they reached their destination. He could have hacked a sentry or drone and spy on them with it, he could have installed a speaker and catch whatever info they carelessly threw around, he could have asked Team Voltron -Katie- for help and work with them to unravel the mystery.

He could have done things differently, there had been lots of ways to achieve what he wanted. But here he was instead, curled up on the ceiling of an enemy ship, ready to sail to the most dangerous place in the universe where a ruthless Queen waited to slaughter him.

This time he had no one to blame but _himself_.

This must have been how Keith felt all the time, listening to his impulses and instincts and having to deal with the aftermath of rash decisions when his mind was finally clear.

He felt for him. It wasn't a nice feeling, and he could definitely relate, now.

Besides, apart from his obvious problems, Lance had the handicap of his redos. He'd fucked up way beyond even his own expectations, getting into a mess as big as this one. Blue had already warned him of re-doing too many times, the price necessary for them being way too expensive on this side of the -now nonexistent- gate.

If he wasn't careful, he could run out of lives to spend, and when that time came....even he himself didn't know what would happen, and it wasn't something he wanted to think about, although it would probably be for the best.

But he refused to think about ' _endings', 'finality'_ and _'ends of the road'_ , he wanted to think that such days were far ahead and still out of reach, wanted to believe that he had enough time, all of a lifetime, to achieve his desires and fulfill his wishes before such days were to come. It was optimistic, it was naive, it was unrealistic and stupid, but it was also what kept him from panicking and breaking down every five minutes, it was what kept him going and helped him maintain his ability a secret.

That, and the fact that he could help a lot of people with it if he mastered it's powers, powers that seemed to develop more and more with each day that passed by. Such as his -strangely useful- new ability to gather one's intentions from their words alone, laced with quintessence that he could feel, relaying to his mind sensations that described their will and whether or not they had any ill intent towards him or those around.

He wondered....how much more was he going to change? How else was this _curse_ going to affect him?

A sudden beeping had him on high alert in less than a tick, and he tensed and listened intently, only to realize that it had been the ship's alert for an incoming wormhole jump, which meant he was going to find himself on Allura's castle again. A bead of sweat fell down the back of his neck at the thought, and he gulped, breathing through his nose as he toyed with the idea of running away.

He needed to think.

His redos were broken, so to speak, he didn't know when or where he would wake up if he failed again, and he couldn't afford a next time without knowing the consequences that it would bring to his body and his astral plane, he had messed up enough as it was.

Biting his thumb he came to a conclusion, he needed external help, but contacting Team Voltron in this precarious situation was out of the question, they had enough problems as it was, and he wasn't about to add to them.

It was also too dangerous, too close to the Queen and that creep Hira, he couldn't endanger them, wouldn't.

What he needed was someone willing to help him, there was bound to be someone of the resistance infiltrated on the Altean ranks, and he just needed to find one member on the castle and relay to them his predicament. Then maybe he could find a way out of this dilemma.

With that thought in mind, he crawled closer to the control room once more, intent on recording Hira's and Eria's conversation again, and came just in time to hear said scientist bark orders to his subordinates, voice deadpan and without feeling, dripping with contempt and superiority and a dash of delirium that dripped to the floor like molasses, the sound as it fell echoing like a crazed laugh and the feeling of nails on a chalkboard.

This new ability was creepy, there was no subtle way of saying it.

"Come now and set course for Commander Hira's base! She's in need of our assistance and we cannot allow ourselves to waste any more time! Go do your job and do not dawdle, you useless puppets!" Lance let a sound of confusion from the back of his wrecked throat, brows furrowing and replaying Erias' words over and over again until he focused on one phrase.

 _'Set course for Commander Hira's base!'._ That.....what? Why? How? That was....wrong? Weren't they supposed to be going towards Allura's castle?

He was ready to whimper just at the thought of meeting the owner of that malevolent voice, but....wasn't that what he'd sent out to do in the beginning? Hira was hiding something, and it was important and related to Allura and something that was considered treason towards her.

It was what he'd wanted, but he couldn't understand why the course had been changed, why the events shifted. He'd done nothing, he'd just...frozen in place and stayed catatonic for a while.....

He sucked in a deep breath, eyes widening.

He had a sudden _epiphany_. Why had Hira changed course in the first place? Because she'd felt -somehow- that Lance was onboard the ship, and she'd wanted to rat him out and have him killed, which would have happened as soon as the ship was inspected for any signals of infiltration or technical problems.

Then, what had changed?

Easy, he'd been in such a poor state of mind before he passed out, that Blue had decided to dull his emotions and keep them under a thin layer of ice, allowing him to get his bearings and set his mind straight before releasing the spell. Emotions were tied to quintessence -wich is why he could now feel people's intentions through their voice and aura- so, if Blue locked away his emotions, it's possible his quintessence was subdued as well, and if it was through that that Hira had found him out....

She'd been unable to do it this time, she and Erias had been talking while he was trying to pull himself together, and his presence had gone by undetected due to such a stroke of luck of the timing matching up.

He didn't know whether to cry or laugh. He got what he wanted, he was going to unravel a mystery and probably find something that would greatly help Team Voltron, but he was also going to be in the same building than a crazy person whose voice made Lance want to crawl out of his skin.....

He felt inclined to crying.

But he was also no idiot, he wasn't going to waste this chance, he was going to gather as many info and data and whatever as he could, and he was going to make this terrifying trip worthwhile. Blue growled on the back of his mind, and Lance thought that with such distance between them, it would have been impossible to stay in contact, but it seemed their bond was well forged as of now, both with this Blue and _his_ Blue -she whined- okay, just his Blue in general, then.

And even with light years of stars separating them, he could still hear her voice and feel her touch as clear as day, her purrs and her determination fueling him to continue on. She knew this was what she sent him here for, no matter how guilty and worried she was, she wanted him to succeed, knew he would succeed, and this was the first step in the right direction, he could _feel it._

She had wanted him to have help, yes, she wanted him to come armed and prepared and not _alone_ , but she knew there was something here that would tip the scales in their favor, and her excitement over finally helping her paladins was infectious. He found himself smirking and humming in agreement as he watched the galaxies pass by, awaiting to reach their destination.

It was time to do some good ol' spying.

\--

Lance was beginning to doze on top of the pipes when he felt the ship come to a stop, the stars and space dust moving slowly adrift in the expanse that surrounded them. A sound akin to speakers turning on made him cover his ears, and an announcement was made by a robotic, neutral voice, informing Lance of his current situation.

 _"Preparing to land, preparing to land, all crew members strap down to your seats and await the green light, please. I repeat, prepari-"_ Lance tuned the recording out and held tight onto the cabling close to him. He knew there wasn't going to be, like, turbulences or anything, a spaceship was not a plane.

But, he didn't want to fall at some unexpected movement and have his position discovered by the sentries, this time, more than any other, he couldn't afford to be careless, he needed to take into account every little detail, couldn't leave anything without check or up to improvisation.

Unless the situation called for it, of course.

He watched through the window in front of him as the ship descended quickly, and soon, a black and grey structure came into view, the word ' _fortress'_ coming to mind when he looked at it, what with so many tall tower like buildings, iron fences and gates everywhere.

The dull atmosphere it transmitted didn't help, either, and he had the thought that the place fit Hira perfectly, even if he didn't know what she looked like, at least it fit her venomous voice extremely well. The place in question was floating in between a meteorite field, pieces of all sizes and colors getting pulled by the gravity around it, but never reaching near the base itself.

He soon discovered _why_.

The ship crossed some sort of purple energy -most likely a barrier- that surrounded the buildings, keeping them safe from the chaos that surrounded the quadrant they inhabited. Lance had spotted some black holes, dying stars, space trash, and some ice structures going adrift in the space near the base, it was obvious this place was nearly impossible to travel, and that was -probably- the reason why Hira had chosen this location in particular.

She had said that her activities couldn't be known by the Queen, after all, and nobody would dare to venture in this no man's place, he was sure of that.

As soon as the ship had crossed the barrier completely, Lance sent a plea towards Blue, asking her to, once more, dull his emotions along his quintessence, so he could pass by unnoticed, if his theory had been correct and Hira had detected his presence by feeling his life force.

Blue was hesitant at first, knowing how dangerous and addictive it could be, not feeling anything. His brain was able to work without distractions, focusing on thinking logically and choosing the plan that was most likely to succeed without anything getting in the way. It made him feel detached and as if he was looking at things from an outsider's point of view, and it made taking harsh decisions easier and improved his focus greatly.

He understood her worry, she loved him as he was, and when things were too much, when he was overwhelmed...yes, he might want to feel that coldness wash over him and take all his worries away, even for a little while.

But he wasn't going to betray her trust and ask her to freeze him for things such as that, this time was an exception, an emergency, he didn't have a choice if he wanted to keep on breathing. Because he had a feeling, deep in his gut and heavy in his heart, that if Hira were to find him, he could kiss his life goodbye, or even worse, she would feel how strange his quintessence was and use him for....god knows what.

He couldn't allow that to happen. And he also needed the info necessary to help Team Voltron, they deserved to be happy, and he was determined to do everything in his power to keep those smiles on their faces, no matter what.

Blue roared in the distance, and, as soon as he'd he finished that thought, he felt a freezing cold wash over his very being, down his chest and through his stomach, all the way to his fingertips, dulling his emotions and numbing his soul to the point he thought he was going to breathe a cloud of snowflakes the next time he spoke.

Thankfully, that wasn't a side effect of this technique, and Blue even made sure that his emotions weren't completely gone, focusing instead on hiding his life force with her ice. She made very clear that an emotionless Lance wasn't something she wanted to see, and made sure to leave his feelings mostly intact.

 _'Nice. Thanks, Baby Blue._ ' She purred and curled around his neck, her ethereal form a comforting warmth against his icy form. She informed him that, the closer she was, the better she could concentrate on keeping his low profile, but that the downside was that she couldn't work her robotical form that way, and if an emergency occurred, she would need to leave, withdraw her spell, and leave him vulnerable.

He just shook his head and told her not to worry, he knew he was asking too much of her already, it was fine, he just needed to be quick.

A sudden noise, loud and rattling, shook the ship for a tick, and he realized they had docked already, and the door was opening before he could prepare himself, the sentries and drones walking out with their precious cargo as Lance waited for his chance.

A silhouette to the left made him squint, and he quickly realized it was Erias, the guy with glasses, typing something on a device with a speed he'd only seen on Pidge or Katie, fingers a blur as his bored expression never left his face.

"You." Lance jumped, nearly shrieking, noticing that Erias was talking to someone on his right. Good god, that had scared him shitless, for a moment he'd thought he'd been found. "Take the spare pieces directly to Hira's lab, and make sure they arrive in perfect condition, those pieces are worth more than your pathetic life, and I won't hesitate to erase you and your every memory if you so much as breathe wrong near those crates. Do I make myself clear?" Lance frowned and tried with all his might to hold back the need to punch that guy on the face, glad that his feelings were subdued somehow, no matter how little it was.

Because otherwise, he was sure he would have jumped down already and thwacked the guy right on the nose.

"Yes, my lord." Anger completely forgotten, Lance suddenly stilled, heart caught in his throat at the voice that had spoken, soft, small, completely devoid of emotion, but a voice he could recognize anywhere nonetheless.

As Erias closed off the screen and left through the main door, another figure walked out of the control room, strong arms carrying various crates with what had to be the spare parts to repair the machines. Looking mostly the same as he remembered -although hair styled differently- Shay walked towards the exit door, eyes half lidded and blank, a strange device peeking out from the back of her head as she passed Lance, who was trying not to cry internally at the sight.

He suddenly remembered how this world's Hunk had gingerly touched his rock-like bracelet as they talked back on the ship, and how fond and slightly heartbroken his expression had been back then. Lance had chalked it up to him missing his friend slash girlfriend, since she supposedly lived far away on the Balmera.

He had forgotten that things were never the same here as back home, and he'd never thought something as heart wrenching as this had been the reason for his bittersweet longing look.

Did he know she was held captive by the Alteans? Did he know she was treated as a slave like so many other people? Did he know....did he know she was even _alive_? Did the Balmera still exist? Or had Shay's home been destroyed by these guys too? Was Hunk still searching for her, not knowing what fate had befallen her?

He gulped back a growl that tried to leave his throat, and watched as Shay carried the crates through the door and towards Hira's base, her body lax and features frozen in an neutral expression. It was like she felt nothing at all, and the mere thought of what they could have done to her and others captive made his blood boil. He thanked god for Blue's cooling presence around him, otherwise, he was sure he would have revealed himself already.

He remembered that Alex had said that Allura turned the people she conquered into mere puppets, only able to follow orders and incapable of violence towards their captors. In other words, brainwash with a sprinkle of mind control, and he was sure all of it came from the machine on the back of their heads, like the one Shay had also sported.

He wanted nothing more than to peel off that disgusting thing away from his friend, but it looked to be surgically implanted, and the least he wanted was to hurt Shay or risk her life. He could only wait until he was back with Team Voltron and then tell them about this place and Shay's condition, then maybe, with Pidge's and Matt's help, they could find a way of freeing the people trapped by the empire.

At least, he hoped so.

Taking in a deep breath, he scanned his surroundings for life readings, and as soon as he was sure no one was in the near vicinity of his hiding place or the ship, he jumped down, crouching and glancing around for signs of drones or sentries, thankfully finding none.

He sneaked his way towards the exit, all the while plastered to the walls and mindful not to make any noise. He peeked outside from the door, and watched the deserted hangar intently, it was filled with ships and cargo units, and although most of them were clearly Altean, there were some....dubious ones, with neutral designs, the kind you could find anywhere on the galaxy.

Maybe Hira used them for undercover operations, or to not attract any attention to herself. Whatever the reason, he smiled at his good luck, because he could hack one of those ships and escape when he needed to. The Altean ones were tricky to tinker with, and they had dangerous emergency systems that would turn him into a Lance shaped bruise if he messed up, no matter how small the mistake. The other ones, though, he could modify with no trouble, thanks to Pidge's insistence that they knew at least the basics of hacking machinery.

He silently thanked the green paladin in his head and tried to ignore how much he missed her.

Seeing that the coast was clear, he ran through the hangar as quick as he could, hiding behind the vehicles there and making his way towards what seemed the front door, all the while frowning in distaste at the dull colors of the base. There was nobody around, and it made him suspicious, since the sentries should have been carrying some stuff too.

But they were gone, and yeah, it made his job of evading the security cameras way easier, but it felt wrong, like something bad was about to happen.

And knowing his luck, it most probably was.

Still, bad vibes and juju aside, he managed to reach the metal doors without a hitch, and no alarm or noise of any kind was heard, so he supposed his presence had gone by undetected. He was going to ponder over just how was he going to get anything on this fortress to react to him and, you know, actually _work_ , when the doors opened on their own, a small shriek of surprise escaping his lips.

He stared at it suspiciously, narrowing his eyes and squinting in distrust, and Blue all but headbutted him to go on, irritated at his dawdling -mostly because she was worried about him but still- showing him an image with many different races put together, and a tick or so later, he let out a sound of realization, feeling silly for forgetting.

The Alteans had alien slaves from countless different galaxies, if everything was modified to react only to those of Altean blood -like the Galra had done back home- then they couldn't have gotten anything done, the aliens needed to be able to go back and forth throughout the fortress without the heldback of identity identification.

Another lucky hit.

He was beginning to dread his fate at this rate, the universe had never been kind to him _before_ , and now, suddenly everything was dancing at his rhythm? Unlikely.

Peering behind the doors, he saw endless corridors and flashing blue lights, doors among many many doors, and pillars that held a structure towards his far right, looking like the center of the maze that was the fortress. He needed to go in, he had to find what Hira was hiding, or at least learn what her plans and intentions were and relay them to the Team...but he was filled with apprehension at the thought of going in alone.

Not because he doubted his abilities or anything of the sort. But because dread was pooling in his stomach and alarm bells where ringing loudly in his ears, his quintessence going haywire at the sole idea of entering the dark lit building. It was as if his own body was telling him _'Bad idea, go back, this will not end well.'_

But he'd come determined, with a mission to fulfil and things to get done, and now that he knew Shay was here, he sure as heck couldn't leave empty handed, this was important, this might be what this world needed to be back on the right track.

With whatever he found here, _this_ Voltron might be able to bring forth peace, and that was worth him swallowing any dread or anxiety or fear that was swirling deep in his gut, cover it with stubbornness and resolution, and stride forward. It was what he'd come for, why Blue had brought him here, and more importantly...it was what he wanted to do, too, his heart longed to help this people that resembled his cherished space family so closely, to watch them smile without fear, at ease, and knowing they could live in a world free of war.

He wanted _them_ , at least, to get their happy ending.

Nodding to himself and taking out his Bayard, he walked through the doors , the sound they made as they closed giving off a sense of finality, like he'd crossed the turning point, unable to turn back and only move forward, towards an uncertain future.

He quickly hugged the walls once more, watching for enemies and trying to avoid security, there was barely no sound around him besides the constant humming of the machinery, and he unconsciously held his breath sometimes, paranoid that someone else might be close. He was beginning to think that no one -besides robots- actually worked on this base when voices reached his ears, and he dodged and hid behind a pillar as two female Alteans walked past him, stopping a few feet away with sour expressions.

"I cannot believe this. Why does head scientist Hira allow Erias within our laboratory? He knows _nothing_ about our projects or our methods, what use does he have here?" One of the women sighed, hands on her waist as she slouched.

"Yes, he disturbs our work and distracts Hira from more important matters. Why does he even come? There's nothing here for a soldier like him." The other female brushed her hair back, folder clutched tight under her forearm. Lance strained to hear more, intent on finding out whatever he could from their conversation.

"I heard that he's Hira's childhood friend, so maybe there's some favoritism going on here. Whatever the reason, I don't like it. Queen Allura gave us these important projects to work on, and with him coming and going as he pleases, I, at least, cannot work in peace."

"I get what you mean, his smile is....diconcerting, to say the least. I don't like the way he looks at our inventions or Hira's thesis and theories. He unsettles me."

"Right? The other day, when I mentioned the subduing machines, and how it was wonderful that people agreed to wear them for the uniting of the universe, he had the gall to laugh. His eyes crinkled and he showed his teeth, it was disgusting, like he was mocking me."

"He did that to me too, once. I was talking with Lessa about how gracious the Queen was for financing our experiments with the piece of the comet we found, even after what happened to her planet, and the guy just...cackled and smirked....it left me feeling dirty, like he knew something I didn't, like he thought I was ignorant and oblivious."

"Yeah, he gives off that kind of vibe, and I heard he only receives orders from Hira, even though he technically works for the Queen's army. Even more, I overheard that he's the only one allowed in Hira's private lab at section 340C, where she keeps the most dangerous projects out of prying eyes."

"Woah, that's.....strange. Do you think Queen Allura knows about his shortcomings? Does he even have clearance to tinker with our equipment, let alone wander these halls? I mean, Hira is the one that's writing the reports on our progress and the state of the laboratory, and she would never lie, but....."

"Everyone has their little secrets, Han, maybe she's....omitting his visits, it could be something more on a personal level, instead of professional."

"Gosh, I hope not, Hira deserves better. Besides, she's the Queen's advisor, the one that found out about the ill intentions of those Terrans and their malevolent plans. She's the one that warned us and Queen Allura about their betrayal and how they had killed King Alfor and Prince Bokar on purpose. If not for her insight, we might have continued to live in ignorance."

"The sole thought terrifies me. I cannot believe they played with so many lives and got away with it, if Hira hadn't overheard them talking about their treason and told the Queen.....goddess knows what might have become of us."

"Indeed. She's intelligent, sharp, and diligent on her job, so I'm sure that whatever reason she has to allow that soldier in, she's doing it with the best for the Empire in mind. She would never allow any harm to come to Queen Allura, which is why she hardly leaves the castle."

"I think you're right, we're overthinking things too much. As a personal advisor to the Queen, she must consult everything with her, any action she takes needs to be authorized first, we don't have to worry too much."

"Now, I think we should get back to work, that new barrier isn't going to create itself. By the way, have you heard from Lia or Sonata lately?"

"Not really. They said they wanted to resign, that something didn't feel right -whatever they meant by that- and they left to talk with the head scientist after that. I didn't see them again, but Hira told me that they left right afterwards to go back home, to the Glass castle, but that communication with this base was banned because of confidentiality and security measures."

"Ahhh, that explains it, our research could be quite dangerous in the wrong hands. Now, enough dawdling, if the supervisor find us here gossiping like this, he's going to be so angry he's going to burst a blood vessel."

"Ah, you're right, let's go back...."

The voices faded as they moved farther and farther away, but Lance stood there, frozen, mouth gaping open and eyes so wide it hurt, he was beginning to put together the whole picture, and he didn't like where it was going. He slowly blew out a breath he'd been holding, throat hurting at the strain, and then proceeded to put in order his ideas, taking advantage of Blue's cooling to be as logical and unbiased as he could while doing so

From what he'd heard, he put together some facts:

Hira seemed to be the leader of this lab.

She was Allura's advisor and her contact with the outside world, seeing as she barely left her castle.

The Alteans seemed to think that people chose to wear the brainwashing machines, Hira probably told them so. Did Allura think so too? Was she aware? He had a feeling the answer was _no._

Hira was the one that told Allura that Alex had killed her family and planet on purpose, she was the one that lied and brought forth so much pain for everyone involved.

The scientists working here thought they were doing so for the Queen, while she was unaware said base even _existed_ , nevermind the experiments going on inside.

And last...it seemed Hira didn't take too kindly to deserters, couldn't allow anyone to blurt out whatever research she had going on in here to the Queen or anyone else.

He had a feeling those Alteans weren't going to hear from Lia or Sonata ever again.

Everything always seemed to come back to Hira, and he felt deep in his bones that she was the mastermind behind everything that had been happening during and after the destruction of Altea. The only thing he needed was _proof_ , if he found out what she was hiding so rigorously and told the others, they might be able to expose her and have a chance at talking things out with Allura. It was a long shot, it was possible she was just hiding some new type of weapon or something unimportant, but something told him it wasn't so.

So many security measures, such an enormous web of lies throughout applied and kept going....no one would go through so much trouble for something inconsequential, it had to be something big, something even the people on this base weren't aware of, something Hira feared the Queen would find.....something that could turn the tables?

It was a possibility, and he was already here, so he might as well try his best to find out as much as he could.

Glancing from the pillar's edge, he tried to orient himself and look for section 340 C, where the girls had said Hira had her private lab, asking Blue to intensify her freezing, if only to make sure he could pass by undetected and nothing was going to alter his plans. She begrudgingly accepted, grumbling all the while, but he felt the telltale signs of numbness spreading through his body, mind and focus sharpening as he critically analyzed his surroundings for the right path to follow.

His eyes landed on a hallway with the letter C drawn on the walls, and concluded that somewhere in that wing of the facility he would find his target, so he stealthily navigated the main hall and ducked into the narrow hallway that would -hopefully- take him to his objective.

He couldn't calm down, though, he knew many Altean scientists lived and worked on the building, but so far, he'd found _none_ -besides the girls from before- and it was putting him on edge, an edge that was dulled by Blue, but still, it was easy....way too easy.

If Hira had something of such importance to hide, where were the security systems? He'd only seen cameras so far and the barrier from before, no drones, no sentries, no guards.....it was as if the place was devoid of any kind of protection, and that rubbed him the wrong way for some reason, even if it made his mission easier to accomplish.

His anxiety aside, he walked for about fifteen minutes, trying not to get lost in the maze of corridors and doors and stairways, everything seemed to be designed to confuse people who weren't familiar with the facility, and Lance was beginning to think he'd never find his way out. But just then, in a stroke of luck -or maybe the universe finally giving him a break- he found himself before a big metal door with the number 340 engraved on both sides, touch pads and scanners and screens filling the space around it.

Uh, so there was _some_ security, after all, although not as much as he expected.

Now that he found himself before his destination, he realized a crucial thing.....he didn't know how to open the doors. Blue whined and sent him an image of himself facepalming, the sound of the slap echoing in his ears as she frustratedly headbutted him, wondering how he coud be so forgetful even when his mind was working at 80% and without distractions.

 _'It's a gift, Baby Blue, you know how I am_.' She snorted and backed away, leaving him alone with his thoughts. He raised his head and rested his chin on his knuckles, tilting it to the right as he pondered how to proceed. He was no Altean, he definitely had no clearance to go trough, and he was pretty sure an alarm would sound as soon as he failed to be recognized as a member of the laboratory.

What to do, then?

His question was answered far too soon, as a vile presence, lighter than Hira's but still dripping and filling the air with a disgustingly venomous mist, seemed to approach the door from the inside. Normally, he would have panicked and ran around like a headless chicken, unsure of what to do and how to get himself out of that pinch, but thanks to Blue, he could think clearly and he had no doubt what he had to do.

So he looked towards the ceiling, watching the position of the pipes he'd noticed earlier, the first time he'd entered the base, then he glanced towards the narrow hallway, barely wide enough to fit two people, and nodded his head in confirmation.

If he managed to do this, it was going to look badass, and it was going to gain him a free ticket into the forbidden lab, so that was a plus. He took out his bayard and held it with his mouth on his unshifted form, then he ran with all his might towards the wall of the hallway, and proceeded to jump from side to side until he was close to the ceiling.

He barely had time to second guess his calculations and probabilities before jumping, transforming his bayard in a split second and holding it in his hand as a sniper rifle, wedging it horizontally across the pipes to keep himself hanging were he was.

As soon as he was sure he wasn't going to fall, he turned around -with a little difficulty- and moved slowly, but surely, towards the door, waiting for his opportunity. He didn't have to wait long, as the same guy from before, Erias, strided out of the lab, doors opening wide behind him as he stopped for a tick, tapping a device on his wrist.

"Everything is taken care of, Hira, the machines are repaired. Is there anything else you wish me to do?" Erias voice was soft and filled with admiration, and it made him sick to his stomach, to know that that man revered the floor she walked on while being aware of all the evil she had committed, all the lies and suffering she had brought.

 _"No, that was all I needed. Now our plans can go forth, knowing that the Queen will not interfere. I think it's finally time to take Voltron out of the picture. "_ He sucked in a deep breath.

 _"Gather all your troops and any droids available, and unleash an all out attack towards them, do not skimp in your efforts, give it your all, win for me, and you will be rewarded greatly. As soon as they are gone we will be able to conquer the last planets refusing our leadership and rebelling against us. And then, finally, I will be rid of that child, Allura, and take my rightful place as the ruler of the mighty Altean empire.....with you by my side."_ Lance had to bit his lip to gulp back the profanities that wanted to leave his lips, and he decided to concentrate on the strain of keeping his legs tucked to his body instead, ears still catching every word they spoke.

"Ah, yes, how I yearn for that day to come, and watch as you rise as the sovereign of a new universe, a universe without wars, without pain, without loss and destruction. A perfect universe brought forth by your sacrifices and efforts, a universe that Allura and her predecessor could only ever dream of, a universe they could never accomplish in their naiveté for peace through diplomacy." He was sure his lip was bleeding from the force he was making, and he prayed to god the blood wouldn't fall, his anger so strong that even Blue's spell couldn't keep it at bay.

How dare _he_ , how dare _they_ , who did they think they were, speaking of Allura like that? They were treating her as a disposable pawn, talking like all her efforts to achieve peace had been useless, like she had accomplished nothing in her endeavor before Altea's destruction.

But he knew that wasn't true, every planet she'd conquered, every village and every race that had submitted to her, had done so because they had known her before tragedy struck, because they had known her kind heart and selfless character, because they had trusted her, remembering her as the gentle child that preferred words over fists and believed anything could be solved with good communication.

He wanted to believe that _that_ Allura still existed, somehow, somewhere, in the depths of her wounded heart. He wanted to have faith that her soul hadn't changed, that he could still reason with her, that her essence, her beautiful loving heart hadn't disappeared, that if truth was laid bare before her eyes, she would see reason and right the wrongs that Hira had bestowed upon the universe.

He wanted to have faith......no, he _had_ faith that that hopeful and caring Allura was still there. He remembered the widening of her eyes when he'd said her name, the way fear and regret had swam inside her gaze before she had brough her sword down on his neck, and he strongly believed he could reach out his hand for her and she would reach back.

"Deploying in five, commander, see you on the other side."

_"Indeed, eternal glory to the Altean empire."_

"And to it's future Queen." He could hear the smile in Erias' voice, mirrored on Hira's dark and ominous one, and he couldn't help but think they were a perfect match, twisted ideals with twisted ideals, wicked personalities and delusions of grandeur clouding their minds as their eyes could only see a future in which their plans succeeded.

He was going to make sure to thwart them and crush their egos into oblivion.

That was a promise.

He glanced down once more and watched as Erias walked towards the narrow hallway a few feet behind Lance, and as soon as he deemed he could jump without being seen and before the door closed, he did just so. A tick too late, though, as the door closed before he was completely through, and he barely managed to get his body to the other side, but his jacket was caught, he'd cut it too close, and now he would have to leave it there for everyone to see.

So much for being inconspicuous.

That meant he had little time before someone saw it, and he needed to find out the secret she was hiding right now, or risk being captured and killed, or worse, experimented on, they were scientists, after all. If they ever found out about his amount of quintessence....he shivered, he didn't even want to think about what they would do to him.

The inside of the lab was...completely pristine and neatly organized, which surprised him, given that the only scientists he knew were Pidge and Hunk and, well, their workplaces were a mess most of the time, ' _Organized chaos_ ' they called it. But the room he was in was completely white, full of machinery and workables made of metal, the dark grey contrasting with the blinding white of the walls and ceiling, every surface being covered with papers and holopads and lots of devices that he had no idea what they did.

Even while being so neat, though, the room was definitely a clusterfuck of stuff, there were so many machines and artifacts strewn around, that he could barely see past seven feet ahead of him. They covered every inch of the room, and some were even hanging from the ceiling and the walls, it was quite....unsettling, to say the least.

There was so much equipment, that beeping noises overlapped and mixed together in a creepy cacophony that echoed throughout the room, the distorted sounds rebounding on the walls to renew the cycle again.

Unnerving.

He cautiously walked a few steps ahead, and as soon as he saw that nothing was actively trying to kill him, he gained some confidence and strided towards the table to his left, trying to locate whatever Hira could be hiding here. It wasn't going to be easy, he knew that, because he didn't know what he was looking for and didn't understand neither the mechanisms surrounding him nor the wording on the reports he was reading, but was he going to give up? No, absolutely not.

Sighing deeply, he eyed the sea of tech ahead of him, and hesitated a grand total of ten ticks before he tried to navigate his way around them, which was unpleasant, let him tell you. The gaps between each device were barely able to fit a person, and even being tall and lanky like he was, he still had to contort his body in painful ways to be able to pass.

Not fun times, no.

He didn't know how much time he traveled through, crawling, climbing, crouching, jumping, and doing whatever he could to bypass the obstacles in his way, following what he thought was a straight line forward. It must have taken him at least half an hour, but eventually, he was able to see white, the blinding white the walls were painted with, so that meant he finally arrived at the end, and he sighed in relief and slumped, he couldn't wait to get away from so much beeping and the sound of engines turning.

It was driving him nuts.

With some effort, he squished in between two giant metal structures, feeling like he couldn't breathe, suddenly really scared that he would get stuck and die a slow and painful death. But then his head was free, then his chest, and in a sudden bout of strength, he managed to push ahead, careening towards the ground and moaning in pain when his head hit the floor.

Hard.

He heaved himself up and sat on his bent legs, rubbing his forehead as he hissed at the sting, thinking about how annoying it was going to be turning back towards the entrance. But then his eyes glanced up and the breath was caught in his throat, because right there, right before his eyes, two cryo pods, fully functional and with fogged up glass, stood proudly, the panel to the right showing the vital signs of whatever slept inside.

 _'What....? Is this the deep dark secret that Hira was hiding? The thing that Allura could never find out? Who....?_ ' He jumped and approached the pods, heart beating like crazy inside his ribcage, breaths quick and short as apprehension overwhelmed him. He raised his hand, which was trembling like mad, and carefully wiped the steam that prevented him from looking inside.

His mind went blank, he felt like he had no air to breathe, this was....

"Alfor!!?" He couldn't hold back the scream that left his lips, hands going to cover his mouth as the -allegedly- dead King of Altea slept on, features twisted in pain or discomfort.

Brain still not fully functioning but determined to see this till the end, he moved towards the other pod, wiping the glass clear to gaze at the figure inside.

It was like looking at Allura; long, white hair with bangs covering his forehead framed his face, skin the same dark tone of the princess' own, dressed with the clothes he'd seen Coran wear from time to time, formal clothes for diplomatic missions. It could only be, undoubtedly, Prince Bokar, Allura's older brother....the one that was supposed to be lost alongside the King.

Jesus, no wonder Hira didn't want this getting out, if Allura ever found out....who knows what she would do. But this was good news for him! If he managed to record this, take proof with him and show it to Team Voltron, they could rescue them or tell Allura, and maybe, with a bit of luck, things would solve themselves.

And then everyone would know the truth and team up to destroy Hira and her delusions.

It was the best possible outcome.

Sadly for him, though, luck was never on his side, and he'd been too optimistic to think that nothing would go wrong, being in the lions' den.

A voice sounding like a venomous viper reminded him of that fact all too soon.

"Well, well, it seems a rat has sneaked in." Lance felt bile rise in his throat in response to the dark quintessence that suddenly permeated the room, like a dripping dark mist that swallowed everything and clouded his mind, eyes watering and throat closing, trying to fight the overwhelming need to throw up.

 _'Oh god, oh god no._ ' Footsteps were heard in the distance, and the black, foul aura shifted and swirled to accommodate the movements of it's owner, who was chuckling slightly.

"Did you really think our security to be this...lousy?" Lance whimpered, terrified, unable to move. " It's done on purpose, of course, we like to welcome our guests with the utmost courtesy, let them roam this maze that makes up our base and explore to their heart's content. They tire out, eventually, and corner themselves unknowingly, and then, only then, do I allow for them to be punished. It's more....entertaining that way, with how isolated we are, it's only normal to want some kind of....enjoyement." He swallowed a sob that threatened to rip free from his throat, hands covering his mouth so hard it hurt, whole body shaking like a leaf.

"I have to congratulate you, though, no one has ever come this far, my lab is reinforced with silent security systems, identification scanners and barriers, and you eluded most of them....color me impressed." She giggled, and the sound sent a shiver down his spine and made his stomach hurt, back tensing, eyes watering and teeth biting his lip hard enough to draw blood.

He had to get _out_ , and he had to get out _now_.

"Now, why don't you come out, little one?".....what? "Are you one of the experiments on wing D2? Or maybe C3? Regardless, I can't have you roaming the rooms like nothing. My sweet, ignorant scientists don't know what's inside the pods they experiment on everyday, they think it's animals or fauna, and I can't have them panic if they know there's children inside." He felt like dying, and he was extremely familiar with the sensation, so that spoke volumes of how sick and horrible he felt. _Children_ , Hira was experimenting on children, innocent lives being ruined just so she could reach...whatever objective she had, besides world -space?- domination, that is.

"If you come out now I promise not to hurt you, child, I'll return you to your pod and everything will go back to normal. What do you say?" For some reason, Hira didn't seem to be able to determine where he was or _who_ he was, and he nearly shrieked when he remembered he was still under Blue's spell, which made him practically invisible to her, diminishing his quintessence to the point she'd assumed he was a small child....a child escaped from one of her terrible experiments....

He shook his head, keeping his tears at bay. No matter how much he wanted to help them, as he was right now, all alone, he couldn't save them, he would just get himself killed and begin anew. The best thing he could do right now was go back to Team Voltron, and tell them everything he had found out.

Even if it broke his heart and tore his soul to pieces, escaping while knowing all those innocents were suffering as he ran away. But his skills weren't enough to take on a high tech base like this, and with Hira inside, it was a hundred times worse. So he would do what he knew was best, he would take advantage of the situation and sneak away, find a way to fly out of the lab and reunite with his comrades, he just needed to make sure he avoided the commander at all costs.

He turned on his sight to do that, blanching at the thick darkness that poured from every pore of her body, so shrouding and vile that even with such distance between them he was able to see it in it's entirety. She was walking through the other side of the room, right opposite of him, and close to the wall, he just had to crawl the other way, bypass the machines again and emerge close to the door....that he couldn't open because he wasn't Altean.

Shit.

His eyes roamed anxiously all over the room, desperate to find another way, like an emergency escape route, every ship had them, right? Like, for fires or chemical explosions or stuff, right? Since they were scientist, that was a normal thing wasn't it?. They had to have air vents or something similar, there was no way that they didn't have a ventilation system, now, if only he could find it.....

He did. It was there, right on the wall close to the ceiling, a small metal trapdoor like thing, with blue lights going on and off at intervals, he just had to reach close to that point, jump on the machine right below the hatch, and jump in. He was fairly sure he could make that jump -thank god his long legs- but he needed to be as silent as possible, he didn't doubt that this Hira could detect his presence if he made even the smallest mistake, and he didn't want to find out what would happen if she did, not at all.

With one last look at the royals and a silent promise to come back for them as soon as he could, he began crawling his way back, careful not to touch anything and trying to keep his breaths small and silent, which was difficult when a psychopath with delusions of grandeur was in the same room as you.

But he adapted -or more like, tried to ignore it-, he thought of Altean Keith's hair, and how nice it looked and if he'd let Lance braid it and make a bun, or one of those fancy ponytails with braids around the base, or maybe even curls, if he was daring enough.

He kept on thinking random thoughts, focus never wavering from Hira's position and movements. No matter what his mind conjured to distract himself, he wasn't stupid enough to make the mistake of actually being absentminded, he just rambled inside his head to keep the panic away, a technique that had succeeded on most of the occasions he'd used it.

He glanced to the right from the corner of his eyes, and saw that Hira had moved some, and she was casually walking forward as if the machines weren't there at all, dripping black ink like liquid all over the floor, something he knew only he could see. She kept calling out to him, asking him to come out and be a nice boy, saying that she wouldn't punish him if he did, asking him if he wanted to end like the others, brain dead or maimed beyond recognition.

He had to force himself to move forwards before he did something stupid.

Like trying to punch a scheming, evil, psychotic commander in the face.

That sure wouldn't end well for _him_.

He glanced forward and saw that the exit was near, just a little more, and he could hopefully run away. And oh god did he want to run away. He was trembling all over and sweating like crazy, his heart was beating so fast it hurt and his breaths were frantic and anxious, nausea crawling up his throat because of the wisps of dark aura that filled the room up to the ceiling.

He was nearly out, a few feet and it was over, he just needed to keep quiet and climb that metal thing, then everything would be-

He froze.

Blue was screaming in his mind, she was panicking, which in turn made him panic, her thoughts were swirling and mixing in a mess of sounds and colors and feelings that he couldn't understand, trailing off in a high pitched sound that he deduced was a scream.

She tried to visualize what she wanted him to see - _danger, ships, battle_ -, but her quintessence was wavering, her voice warping and fading with each second that passed by, and it felt like her reassuring presence that had been with him every step of the way was disappearing like mist, leaving him alone and cold and surrounded by death.

He whimpered.

A voice, terrified and small, not unlike a children's, reached his mind, uttering a single word that had his world crashing down on him with the weight of all the bad luck that seemed to follow him around.

_'Run'._

A weight was lifted.

He sucked in a sharp breath.

Hira's voice abruptly cut off.

A high pitched shriek broke nearly everything made out of glass in the room.

He clutched his chest and tried to breathe.

Blue's spell had been nullified.

He was alone.

And at the mercy of the terrifying being on the other side.

He got up and ran the great length of eight feet before he was flat on his back, hands on his neck and weight on his chest, making his lungs incapable of expanding and getting the air they needed. He didn't want to look up, didn't want to _see_. But he was no coward either, and he had to know if she was the same Hira that had allegedly thrown herself into the rift, needed that piece of data so he could tell the team, be of use to them, to this world.

So, with his mind set and a breath as deep as he could take, he raised his head, and came face to face with....and Altean woman, pretty much like any other he'd seen, with dark purple hair and blue eyes, dressed in some kind of armor, looking at him with interest. Her aura was dripping steadily around them, thick and foul, some of it landing on his neck.

It burnt.

He could feel the corruption that it carried within, swallowing his own quintessence and trying to settle it's webs around it, trapping it, trying to capture his mind and his life and make it hers.

"Ahhh...." She let out a long sigh, voice cutting Lance like a knife. " I _knew_ there was something strange, it felt like chains wrapped around a dying star, keeping it from blowing until the metal gave away, unleashing it's destructive force upon the world." She leaned in close, and he growled, trying to convey just how not on board he was with that idea.

"Now I see, how you've tricked me, how you would have been able to dodge my search and run away if not for....some unfortunate bad timing, I presume." She stared at him intently, and it was like she was stripping him down of all layers, sighting deep into his very soul, unraveling his fears and desires and dreams. It was like he was prey, and in spite of his -weak- struggling, he couldn't move, pinned to the ground by her hand, wheezing and trying to keep calm.

Useless.

He was scared. He didn't think he'd ever been more scared in his whole life. Didn't think he could. He regretted that thought almost immediately.

"Puny little human, pathetic little paladin, what do you hope to accomplish on this fruitless endeavor? You cannot defeat me, I will not die, all your efforts, everything Voltron has tried to achieve, has been for naught." He stilled, and while his mind was chaos and he couldn't think, or breathe, or process anything but the fear and the pain and the overwhelming need to disappear to escape this hellish moment, he knew one thing.

No one insulted him or his team and got away with it, no one badmouthed his family and their wish for a better future without retribution, no one ridiculed their efforts and all the pain they had to endure if he had anything to say about it.

And he did.

Even when his mouth barely worked and his words were cut off and stuttered, he was going to tell this monster, this scheming witch, just where she could stuff her overgrown ego.

"Y're....jst.....likea....humn...Hira...they....kill....y..o...u.." Above him, Hira stilled, and a tick later, a laugh like fingernails on a chalkboard that sounded like shrieks and screams and the gates of hell opening echoed around them, and her aura got even darker still, if that was possible.

She got up from the floor and continued to hold him by his neck, standing to her full height and looking him in the eye, smirking from side to side, wicked and malicious as her eyes glinted with pleasure at his pain.

"Ignorant _fool_ , you dare compare me to you inferior beings? This is but a container, a vessel to carry my essence and grant my wishes." She held him closer, eye to eye. "The one called Hira was never here to begin with, she broke into tiny little pieces as soon as her physical body fell into the rift." His eyes widened, and he locked gazes with the other just in time to watch as her eyes became black, just as dark as her aura, and just as deep and malevolent.

Everything was black, the sclera, the iris....no light reached her gaze, it was as if it was swallowed down by those pools of darkness, like a black hole, like the eyes of the monsters in horror movies back on earth, the ones that his mom had warned him not to see because he wasn't going to be able to sleep after.

His whole body froze, his hands that had been clawing at his neck stilled, and his eyes, still shining with his sight active, watched in muted horror as tendrils of the dark substance that was her lifeforce sprung forth, coiling around his ankles and surrounding her like a mantle, wriggling like snakes.

His wide eyes moved unknowingly and focused on her core, near her heart, tried to see past the layer of syrupy black coating her whole being. He gazed deep and deeper still, peeled out every covering and barrier he found, until he reached the center.

He screamed.

For how long, he didn't know, but his throat was wrecked by the time he'd finished, and his mind was warped and broken and couldn't understand -didn't want to understand- what he'd just seen, everything was in shambles, he couldn't function, too much, too much.

"W-hat....are you?" Tears were falling down his cheeks, he noticed, they were cold but refreshing, it felt nice, he was warm, and his neck tickled uncomfortably.

"I am nothing, I am shadow, I am the void, nothingness itself. I'm silent screams and dead ends, I'm a destroyer, a conqueror, a planet eater, a consuming darkness that's lived at the far end of the rift for as long as I can remember." He felt inclined to nod, but his head wouldn't move, _strange_.

"I've always been alone, shrouded by silence and emptiness, always hungry, always trapped, always _searching_. And then that comet opened a way, showed me a door, and that vessel threw herself at me, offered her weak body so I could step into the world once more, wearing her face and her memories alike. I began searching once more." He was beginning to get dizzy again, and it felt bad, why was he feeling sick? He couldn't...remember, couldn't.....focus...

"I swallowed planets, I ate creatures and lands and as much life force as I could find, but they vanished before they even reached my belly, I was still hungry, and no matter how much I investigated, every experiment failed, the hunger did not disappear." Hungry....he was hungry too, maybe Hunk could prepare something for him and he'd share it with Keith-

His eyes opened completely, heart beating hard against his ribcage, mouth open in a silent gasp as his head throbbed in pain, swirling with thoughts and disturbing images that blurred and collapsed before forming anew, a vicious circle. But he could _think_ now, his mind was clear enough to understand his situation, what he'd seen -to some extent- and how to try and get out of it.

"But now I've found _you_ , bright like a exploding star, so full of light and life, I wonder...." She brought him closer still, noses nearly touching. "Will my hunger fade away if I eat you? Will I finally be sated? Or will I wander endlessly on a fruitless quest?" It nuzzled his neck, nosing the skin there, the feeling akin to burning acid peeling his skin away, making him wince and struggle in a vain attempt to get away, tears soaking his fake hair and handkerchief.

He couldn't fully comprehend what this being was, what he'd seen had been too much, too big, nearly frying his brain will so much knowledge and murk that it left him brain dead for a few minutes. He couldn't understand how it came to be or why, neither why it's intentions were harmful beyond it's need to quench it's hunger. It looked like it didn't have any purpose besides that, something that was probably due to it's unknowing of the reason of it's creation.

What he knew, however, was that it intended to conquer everything in it's grasp, that it had lied and hurt Allura and all the Alteans, as well as other races. It had manipulated and brainwashed innocents, experimented on them and their young, destroyed their homes and environment, it made the people Lance loved suffer and put that sad, melancholic look on Keith's and Alex's faces.

Only for the need to feel and grasp the meaning of feeling sated and full, satisfied, content. One could attribute it's actions as not knowing any better, like a child, not being able to discern between good and evil or not understanding the mechanics of the world. But it's smirks and giggles conveyed that it understood pain and satisfaction perfectly well, and seemed to obtain pleasure from inflicting it to others, making his victims suffer, playing cat and mouse with them until it tired and bestowed upon them a slow death.

He understood every ounce of malice and negative emotions completely, and the concept of hostages too. Lance would bet his ass that if Allura ever found out about the truth, it would use her family to force her to obey and submit to it, because if not for that reason, why would a being that only seeked completion keep them alive? They meant nothing to it.

They were, to it, less than the dirt on it's boots, if the looks and words it'd spouted to Lance were anything to go by. It considered them inferior, meaningless, ants on the floor ready to be squished if they bothered it's plans enough, just like Team Voltron did, which was why a massive attack was going their way....

Why bother, though? If they were insignificant to it, if nothing they did affected it's goals, _why_ invest so much energy and firepower to destroy them? Unless....

Unless Team Voltron had something it feared.

A choked laugh left his lips, and he felt the grip on his neck tighten, snatching him away from his wandering thoughts and diverting his attention back to the matter at hand.

" You have so much, so _bright_. I've swallowed many humanoid creatures since the time I was set free, but they were but pinpricks of light that dimmed as soon as their shine got overwhelmed by my essence, disappearing while going down my throat and never reaching my belly. I thought the emptiness would fade if I sought completion in other ways, and I conquered and enslaved, making every inferior being kneel and bow before me, swear their loyalty to me, but it brought me nothing but a mild sense of accomplishment." Lance felt like if he just stopped breathing, this whole ordeal would hurt less, but his brain supplied him with the fact that, the more he knew about this strange creature, the more he could tell the team about the truth of what happened more than a year ago.

"I sought knowledge, but that only accelerated the victories on my crusades and made my plans smoother. Nothing I did, none of the things I obtained managed to quench the hunger that twisted and crawled inside the void, inside myself, I wanted light, the only thing that seemed to slip in between my fingers every time I got close to it." A wicked smirk bloomed on Hira's face, eyes dripping with back tears and teeth like fangs making her look feral, otherworldly and terrifying.

"The only thing that seemed willing to fight back was Voltron, that annoying fly always buzzing in my ear. They have light, Voltron has light, but it's not nearly enough to dispel my shadows, it is but a part of the key that opened the doorway to my domains, it cannot hurt me, let alone destroy me." Her mouth opened wide and let out a clicking sound, reminding Lance of crocodiles and hyenas laughing.

"But you, you are bathed in it, it's pouring from every pore of your weak and useless body, you breath in it, bask in it, it's a shine that greatly surpasses Voltron....and it's in my power now." He stilled, hands clutched once more on Hira's, weakly trying to make her grip falter.

"I would like nothing more than to eat you, see if that blue light would finally bring me completion, but I need to know where it came from, why you have it, did you find the missing parts of the key? Did you make them yours?" It's eyes narrowed, a snarl sweeping over Hira's features as the grip on his neck tightened once more, and he blinked, confused, the creature seemed....scared? Fearful? It kept asking about the missing pieces of the key, intent on knowing where they were and if he'd found them, thinking them the reason for his immense aura.

A key.....if Voltron, if the comet that had fallen was the key that had opened the doorway....did that mean that it could open again and trap the creature back in? Was that why it wanted to know the location of the missing pieces so bad? But the comet had been taken to create the lions, what little remained of it was lost on the destruction of Altea, there was no way any part of it had been salvaged, and, even then, how would they find a piece of rock? How would that be a key?

He thought he understood but then he was back to square one.

"Not willing to tell, are you? That will change soon enough, I'll make sure to experiment on you, I'll learn every little detail about that light that you're hiding, I will find the missing pieces and destroy them, and then the universe will be mine, my darkness will shroud every little corner of existence, I will swallow everything. I will be _complete_." The look in it's eyes was something akin to wishful, glinting dangerously as they reflected nothing, the light of the ceiling lamps being swallowed by their pull and leaving behind a black canvas.

He looked her straight in the eye and saw the horrible future that awaited if it achieved it's goals: complete and utter destruction, chaos, ruin, extinction. He couldn't allow that to happen, _wouldn't_ allow it, he'd fought too hard to give up now, Votron had fought too hard, through all their pain and sadness, overcoming many trials and obstacles, to have it end here.

His mind was reeling and many thoughts tried to come to the forefront of his mind, but one was clearer than the others, bright and screaming for his attention; do not let this monster know your secret.

The consequences of understanding how quintessence could be used to become, in essence, immortal, would be dire, and the only way this creature could find that out was through Lance, because Zarkon hadn't become evil in this universe, didn't find out how to transform quintessence into life force, which was his only solace.

It was only him and his life that was standing between a free universe and a silent, empty one, lifeless and cold as everything was consumed by a being that couldn't understand the value of life.

The choice was obvious.

It didnt make it any less terrifying, though.

But he stood strong, and with renewed determination, he began squirming and wiggling around, struggling to get out of the chokehold that Hira's body had on his neck, too strong hands weakening their grip slightly.

He internally cheered, he'd been right.

Even after so much time, it still didn't know the extent of it's brute force, didn't know how to channel it's true strength through an Altean body, leading to the oscillation of energy put on it's grip and attacks, often miscalculating and having to consciously alter the mustered force.

This worked in his favor, right now, and he tried to picture Keith's and Alex's smiles and ignore what he was trying to do, ignore the fear, ignore the tears, ignore the whimpers and terror that tried to take hold of his mind and make him stop.

He couldn't afford to do that, though.

He couldn't be selfish, it wasn't only his life on the line here, it was the people who had helped him and shared his friend's souls, it was the universe and every living creature in it, it was the stars and the asteroids and space dust, it was another earth, with it's blue skies and seas and a mirror of his family living there, waiting for his return, it was life itself what was at stake.

And he wasn't going to let it be lost, not on his watch.

He wrapped his hands around Hira's, scratching, punching, pulling, tugging, trying to move as much as possible and reach whatever part of her body, make her mad, or annoyed -he was good at that one- try to shake her impassive demeanor and force her to react instinctively, like any living creature.

When prey tries to escape, you bite down harder.

Her black eyes narrowed, her brow furrowed, and he looked as her ink stained cheeks fell to paint a frown on her mouth, it didn't take long for her hand to close even more around his neck while she spoke, not even seeming to notice the change of pressure she was applying.

"What are you trying to pull? Stop squirming, there's no escape for you, if you continue disobeying me I will have to-"

CRACK.

He barely felt his bones break, or heard the way he gurgled and wheezed, airways completely clogged with his own blood as he choked, didn't feel the tears falling down his eyes or the way his point of view changed as his head lolled to the side, limp. He didn't take notice when his lungs stopped working or his heart stopped beating, didn't register when he stopped hearing and seeing and feeling altogether, nothing but a carcass left of him.

What he knew as he faded, though, was that he'd smiled as wide as he could, eyes shining with mirth and satisfaction, gloating as he uttered -more like gurgled- his last words.

"You lose, bitch."

\--

He woke up ready to gasp and wheeze, but the sensation of coming back was something he was growing to get accustomed to, and his first instinct was to clamp his mouth shut with his hands stifling his gagging and heaving breaths, trying to regain control over himself.

While he did that, he tried to reach out for Blue, but the thread that had been keeping them connected was gone, and he couldn't contact her at all, which was to be expected, if she left him so suddenly in such a dire situation, it could only have been because of an emergency.

And even though he'd gone back in time to before she even set up her spell, it seemed like their bond had broken down somehow when he'd faded -since Blue was aware about his redos and was present in all time and space, it hadn't been a rewind for her, and since their connection broke before, it was still that way now-, and now her presence was out of reach, like a phone trying to get a signal but never being able to completely achieve it.

None of that mattered now, though.

He knew too much, his brain was full of knowledge and data that he needed to share with the Team, but first he needed to think of a way out of Erias' ship, and, as of that very moment, he had only had one option, since he couldn't use Blue's spell this time around. He would follow the actions he took the first time, and travel to the Queen's castle, this time, with some luck, finding a way out before she became aware of his presence.

He didn't think his neck would be able to take more damage.

The sole thought brought back the sensation of his neck and airways being crushed, and he put even more pressure on the hands covering his mouth, trying to gulp down the gag that threatened to escape his lips, the vile rising up his throat feeling disgusting and burning.

He couldn't panic now, it would do him now good. He couldn't think about how his -lousy- plan might lead him to another dead end, or how that, if he wasn't able to contact Blue and use her magic, he might be trapped in an endless loop, dying at Allura's hands every time and reliving the same moment over and over again.

Unable to escape.

Forbidden to advance.

Until the last of his gift wore out and he disappeared.

He felt the beginnings of hyperventilation affect him, and he shook his head to rid his brain of those thoughts he just told himself he wouldn't have.

No, he wouldn't die again, he refused to. He didn't know how many lives he'd lost already, but he was determined to find a plothole on this loop, a way to bypass Allura's all seeing eyes and flee back to the Team. He desperately needed to tell them the truth.

They deserved as much.

Allura deserved as much.

He had all they needed to put an end to the war and finally make things right, he only had to be brave and not give up, think and think and find that wich cannot be seen, an exit, an escape, freedom.

He hoped it was enough.

He prayed it was.

He opened his eyes and listened to a conversation that he had heard once already, and it didn't surprise him in the least when the ship's course was modified to lead to the Queens' castle, Hira's attempt at killing two birds with one stone. She -it? succeeded once, it made fun of all the things Lance wanted to protect and all the suffering his important people had gone through, it played with their lives and emotions and manipulated everything at it's will.

But no longer.

Hira's mistake had been telling Lance everything in the midst of his imminent death/capture.

Now he was going to return the favor.

Tenfold.

\--

Gazing through the small window on his line of sight, the glass castle came into view, and a shudder wracked his body while his nerves flared alive, his own mind reminding him of all the pain that awaited him if he didn't play his cards right.

So far, the events that had followed Hira's change of course had been the same than before, and, thankfully, powerful being or not, it looked like Void didn't have the ability to retain the information of Lance's redos or anything that might have happened on them. It had come in handy that he'd been able to read it's intentions through Hira's voice, since he had confirmed his suspicions when he felt nothing but wicked satisfaction, entitlement, anticipation, and some kind of sick pleasure that had made him want to puke his guts out.

Not fun.

But, it comforted him, in a way, to know that even such a terrifying and powerful creature wasn't omnipotent, it meant that he had a chance, that there were always numerous possibilities and paths to take, and he just needed to find his, and follow along.

While he'd waited for the ship to dock and everyone to leave, he'd looked through the different areas as he observed, searching for something that could aid him in his mission, but so far, only droids and drones inhabited the ship, and he wasn't as skilled as Pidge to be able to hack one like she'd done with Rover. So that was a no-no.

Watching as the last of the crew members left through the door, he ran a quick scan of the area, marking down the path that he'd taken the last time so as to not follow it once more, the ending he would reach if he took that trail something he didn't want to consider.

From what the results showed him, it looked like they were unloading the cargo on the outside hangars, right next to some kind of garden. Last time, he'd taken the passage that lead to one of the side entrances of the castle, where he inadvertently ended up on the Queen's semi private wing -curse his luck-.

He jumped down from his hiding place and peeked through the door and onto the paved walkway, nearly biting through his tongue as he watched Shay unload boxes upon boxes of rare metals and rocks that looked like jade, but with a shade closer to blue. She seemed to stare at them, transfixed, and her hands reached out to touch them before they abruptly stopped, falling to her sides as she whirled around and continued with her job.

He seethed internally, eyes narrowing in anger, wishing to go there and snatch her away and take her with him to the castle when he escaped.

But he couldn't do that, he didn't know how to undo the damage and mind control that was keeping her chained to Erias' will, he was no doctor and no technician or hacker, he had no way of helping her, and that hurt him as deeply as a dagger plunged into his heart.

She was like a sister to him, someone Hunk cherished, she was a friend.

If only there was something he could do to make things easier at least....

A sudden thought rang loud into his mind, and he tapped the small container on his belt, rummaging through it before his hand found their intended target, and he smiled as he gazed upon the tiny little object he'd found while on the mall.

It was one of the things that had been on Katie's 'to buy' list, a small locator that she wanted to use to improve the castles detection systems, something she desperately needed and was hard to find, since buying tech without an Altean pass was pretty much impossible on the areas under the Queen's rule.

It was also kinda outdated and old, but exactly what Katie wanted. Since most tech right now was Altean manufactured, it meant that they were able to locate them and follow their signal, therefore she couldn't use it.

But, this old, nameless one, without a serial number and the Alteans' touch, was completely untraceable and safe to use, which was wht made it so valuable in the first place. People who wanted to make shifty business under the Empire's radar bought them on the hundreds, and less and less were left on the black markets for others to buy.

He eyed the small trinket and winced, already feeling the slap that Katie was gonna give him for this. But he was sure she would understand, and that she would eventually forgive him, too. This was for Hunk, for Shay, for their future and their happiness.

She wouldn't mind.

Much.

Sneaking away from his hiding place, he ran towards the pile of crates towards Shay's right, crouching down as soon as he could and eyeing his surroundings, sighing in relief when he saw that, besides the working robots and people unloading materials, nobody else seemed to be in the near vicinity.

Luckily for him.

He took out his bayard and made his small guns appear, chosing the setting of ' _mild_ ' before charging the small locator as if it were a bullet, gripping the pistol tight and taking aim from in between two boxes. He took a deep breath and steadied his hand, waiting for the right chance to fire.

A few ticks later, he got it, she turned around and gazed at the jade like rocks again, her posture stiff and rigid, hand reaching once more, and as she stood, unmoving and with a lost look in her eyes, he aimed for her shoulder, and fired.

Thankfully, the sound was drowned by the robotic whirring and stomping of the robots around them, and the silencer on the gun worked wonders as well, so no one batted an eye when the bullet soared through the air, and although Shay startled and stiffened, she merely glanced around once before blinking and going back to her routine.

It was done.

Now he could give Hunk even better news than just 'Shay is alive'....if Katie didn''t kill him first, that is.

He muttered a silent apology to both Shay and Katie in his mind before peering from the edge of the crates again, noticing various people entering and leaving the castle through the front doors, which were way too tall and way too big and he would stand out like a sore thumb if he even got close.

That path was rejected, then.

He looked a bit to the left and squinted, trying to see so far into the distance, where some small street like alleys went from the garden and all the way through the castle's perimeter, twisting and turning and ending somewhere on the other side -his scanner didn't reach that far-. It didn't look like that way was too heavy guarded, and it might be because it was the housemaids' and butlers' entryways to the service areas of the building, which was perfect for him.

He waited for about ten minutes, until the last of the bots and personnel had finished unloading and returned to their alloted posts, leaving the hangar mostly empty, perfect for him to use his sneaking skills and run towards his goal.

He was there in less than a minute, and a hopeful grin bloomed into his face just as he rounded the corner, out of wandering eyes and into the dark passageways that were the personnel's alleys, he just needed to take a turn -if his scanner hadn't been wrong- and he would be safe.

Only, he didn't make it that far.

Something gripped the back of his neck with surprising force, and for a tick he entertained the idea that it had been because he got stuck on a branch or something similar, but that dream was soon shattered when the force tugged him backwards and onto a small crevice on one of the walls, which spelled trouble for him.

He struggled and tried to reach for his bayard, only for hands to grip his wrists together behind his back, pushing him against the wall and seething in his ear, the voice nostalgic and familiar although he couldn't place who it belonged to right away.

"What do you think you're doing? Who are you? Who sent you?" Lance gulped down his rising nerves and tried to look at the other from the corner of his eye, but a push that smushed his face onto the wall told him that was not a good idea.

"Answer me, depending of what you say, I might let you live." The wall was cold and uncomfortable, and his cheek and wrists were starting to feel numb with the pressure exerted on them. He had to calm down, if this stranger hadn't killed him yet, he might have a chance, after all.

He needed to think or, at least, stall him long enough to make mis move.

"I'm....my name's Lance. I got separated from my companions and left stranded on a mall with no ship or way to go back home. I just....boarded the first ship I came across to in hopes of going back or at least get closer to home. I didn't know the ship was headed here, of all places." He waited with bated breath for the other to answer, and felt himself tense up when a humorless chuckle echoed in the small space that enclosed them, the hands on his wrists tightening momentarily before a voice whispered in his ear.

"Liar." He awaited for the worst to happen, accepting his fate and cursing the universe for his bad luck, whole body stiff and eyes scrunched up, expecting to feel pain at any moment now and cry at his misfortune while he wasted more of the quintessence that had been ' _gifted_ ' to him.

What he got, instead, was the releasing of his hands, arms turning him around carefully as he titled his head upwards to gaze at his offender, who was way taller than him and very, very familiar.

He gaped. "L......Lotor?" The prince smiled, teeth showing as he brushed some of his short strands behind his ear, expression kind in contrast to the icy voice that had spoken to him only moments before.

He was.....different, but not really. He was still taller than Lance by a lot, what with being Galra and all that, his skin was the same shade of lavender than he remembered, and his eyes were still the same vivid blue that he shared with his counterpart. The most striking difference was that his hair, instead of long and taken care of, was really short, barely grown past his ears, and his bangs were brushed over one side only, leaving his face exposed and giving him a youthful appearance.

He chuckled once before addressing Lance, who was still frozen in surprise.

"So you know me. I was right in my assumption, then." Lance tilted his head, confused and more than a little flabbergasted. " I received an emergency broadcast from team V a few hours ago, every ally and supporter has gotten one, if I'm not mistaken. In the message, they spoke of a lost member who didn't respond to communication, and who was important enough to implement a Code R right away." Code.....what? Was he supposed to understand any of that? Because he didn't, he didn't get what Lotor was talking about, and he furrowed his brows and let out a sound of distress, wringing his hands nervously.

He was out of his element here.

Being from an Alternate reality sucked.

"I assume you are Lance, the lost member of Team V's crew, are you not? They have been trying to contact you all day long, but something seemed to be jamming the signal, and they weren't able to reach you." Contact him....Team V.......ooooooh.

Voltron. Of course. He was such an idiot, he totally forgot about reporting back to them with everything that had been going on, didn't even know his comms weren't working. They must have been super worried.

" I do not know what your importance is to the cause, but if the Team was desperate enough to send Emergency Code R, going as far as requesting assistance from Team R to find you, that means that your life must be protected at all costs. And I will be taking on that job until you've returned to them safely." He just nodded, completely taken aback with all the coded talk Lotor was doing, but understanding why almost as soon as he'd finished speaking.

If he remembered correctly, Lotor was a member of the Guns of Gamara, whose lider was Zarkon alongside his wife, Honerva, and they both fought for freedom and peace against the cruel Altean Empire. Lotor was now on the hotspot for danger, in the lions' den, doing god knows what, and he couldn't openly talk about Voltron or any of the rebel groups or supporters, lest someone passed by and overheard.

That would only bring them trouble.

Sadly, no one knew the truth behind this war and all the death and destruction that originated from the moment Altea was destroyed, no one but him.

He raised his eyes and opened his mouth, ready to request Lotor take him back to the others, but before even an inkling of sound had left his lips, his jaw snapped shut and he took out his bayard in the blink of an eye, aiming directly behind Lotor and seething like whatever was there had personally offended him.

And, oh boy it did.

Lotor startled and jumped to the side, and he had a clearer view of the one standing a few feet behind the prince, his features being something that he would never be able to forget for as long as he lived. The face of the man that nearly killed him for the first time, the one that had tormented his leader and made him have nightmares nearly every night, who had corrupted the castle and had costed Allura the dearest memories she had with her father.

Sendak.

He hissed, bayard not moving an inch. "What are _you_ doing here?" His voice was hostile, full of anger and animosity, and a silver of satisfaction ran through his veins when the Galran visibly flinched, ears twitching back slightly as an uncomfortable look crossed his face.

His youthful, unfamiliar face.

"Lance -he glanced at Lotor sideways- lower your weapon, please, he means you no harm." He highly doubted so, his bayard was staying where it was, otherwise, he would feel vulnerable and an open target, and that was a no go.

So he frowned and didn't move, eyes narrowing as he glared at Sendak with all his might.

"Lance, we do not have time for this. He's a member of....he's with me, there is no need for hostility, I understand that you might have some....preconceibed notions and prejudice against Galra if you've heard what the Empire has been saying, but I assure you we are on your side, please, lower your weapon, we need to go." He knew he should hear him out, he knew he was being stubborn, and something in his brain was telling him he was missing an essential part of the picture, something he should know but couldn't grasp in that moment.

He just knew that Sendak had nearly killed him and Shiro, that he'd hurt Pidge and Keith and destroyed Allura's treasured memento, that he'd made her cry and grieve and that was not okay, he needed to be stopped, he needed to protect his team.

A hand on his shoulder startled him and he whirled around, pointing his rifle right at the other's chest, someone he could recognize too, someone familiar, ally, friend.

"I suggest we get going, Lotor, the patrols are approaching as we speak, if we do not move now, we won't be able to flee until three quintants have passed." It was Thace, looking exactly the same as he remembered before he sacrificed himself to save Keith, another ally lost to the war, another life snuffed away for the sake of something greater.

He shook his head and bit his lip, his mind had been muddled and completely out of whack, and he hadn't been able to process things correctly, maybe because being in another reality was messing up his perception and affecting his memories.

It was a scary thought.

Sendak was dead, of course he was, his brain had been fried by the castle and his body flushed out by Shiro many months ago, and Thace was gone as well, Kolivan had confirmed it. These were just their alternate versions, people that had nothing to do with their counterparts, their wills and experiences were completely different, and it was unfair of him to judge them for things they didn't do.

Didn't mean his bias was gonna disappear or he was going to trust them immediately, though.

Nonetheless, he lowered his weapon and hid it as fast as he could, eyes landing on Lotor, waiting to receive instructions on how to proceed, since he didn't know the layout of the place or where their ship was docked, neither the patrol patterns.

The prince held his gaze for a tick, and nodded as if he was satisfied with something, walking ahead until he was face to face with Lance and extending his hand towards him, gently holding his hand in a tight grip, then turning around.

"We're going to run, keep up with me and, whatever happens, do not let go." He absently nodded, still scowling lightly and glaring at Sendak from the corner of his eye as the Galran flanked their left side, Thace doing the same on the right.

Formation done, Lotor counted to three on Galran -which sounded like gibberish to him- and they sprinted forwards at such speed, he thought he would have a lovely meeting with the ground face-first, but thankfully, his long legs were put to good use for once, and he was able to follow in their pace as he wildly looked around, nervous and anxious and trying to see if they had been spotted or discovered.

By some stroke of luck, though, no sentries or soldiers were stationed near their route, and Thace had assured them that the cameras had been hacked and altered to show an image of normal patrols going around, although they had just a few doboshes before it faded and reverted back to normal.

It was scarily easy how they managed to arrive to the small ship with no trouble, and Lance, with an ongoing background of things blowing up in his face when he thought nothing was wrong, felt the hairs on the back of his neck stand on end, and a unbidden sense of foreboding washed over him, making him tremble.

_'No, no, it's okay, everything is fine, I'm on my way to make things right, and I have them on my side, it will be okay.'_

He shook his head and tried to rid himself of the overwhelming feelings of doubt and imminent tragedy, taking a seat close to a window and watching as the ship took flight and soared towards the stars, wondering if it was safe to go directly to the Team's location, if the pod could have been bugged or something.

He shared those fears with Lotor, and the prince soothed every single one of them, voice tight with anticipation, albeit soft and curious when he talked with him.

"Do not fret, Lance. We are cautious with our every move, this ship was specifically built by us to navigate this kind of situations, if a listening device or any kind of modification had been done to it or it's systems, I would have received an emergency signal warning us about it." Lance hummed, thoughtful.

Lotor didn't seem concerned at all about the possibility of them being discovered or followed, and he knew -Alex had told him- that the Guns of Gamara were a really thorough organization, secretive and paranoid, cautious -albeit on a lesser level than Kolivan, poor guy didn't trust his own shadow- and with security measures in place to assure that nothing would get in or out.

That info should have calmed him down, but his stomach continued lurching and he was still jittery and jumpy, dying to feel Blue's reassurance and the soothing waves that used to calm his frying nerves, knowing that it was impossible until she found him again amongst the messy cluster of bonds she owned....which were a lot, if he thought about it.

So. He was alone, for now, and he needed to stay composed and keep a cool head, brush those pointless thoughts away for the time being, and wait until he had some alone time to sort out his ideas and every bit of knowledge he knew.

Breathing in as deep as he could, he followed the steps his mom had told him many years ago to meditate and relax, empty his mind and let his body and soul rest, recharge and be ready for whatever he had to endure next.

Ignoring Sendak was a difficult feat in this situation -seeing he was sitting just behind Lance- and although he knew he was being unfair and the guy had done nothing to him or his loved ones, like, ever, he couldn't help the small rumble of distrust that bubbled inside his chest, making the atmosphere heavy and tense.

Nevertheless, he breathed steadily in an out, listening to his pounding heartbeat and the purring of the engines, and he managed to lose himself in a sea of nothingness and peace, smothering the panic and terror that usually threatened to overwhelm him, and the impatience that urged him to be faster, lest he ended up being too late.

The next time he opened his eyes, the castle of lions was just before them.

\--

Meeting with the team was kind of a surreal experience, to be honest. As soon as Lotor had confirmed their identities, and inputted the password necessary for granting them access to the castle -among other security measures- they landed on the hangar and walked down the ramp, the prince planning to do a thorough report while Lance only wanted to see everyone and tell them the truth as soon as possible.

He expected some chastising and countless lectures about responsibility and trust and keeping in contact, with an added sprinkle of disappointment for the loss of the ship and supplies.

What he got, instead, was an armful of hugs -too many arms- and seven worried people with varying degrees of anxiousness asking him about his well being, his health, what happened to him, was he hurt, kidnapped, did he need something?

It was...overwhelming, and as much as he appreciated their concern and how sweet they were being to him, he really needed to tell them about Allura, and Void, and the imminent danger that the universe was about to fall in headfirst.

But as soon as he opened his mouth to blurt out everything, Keith was there, holding him tight in an embrace that warmed up his insides and froze his train of thought, long black hair cascading over his shoulder as the other sucked in sharp breaths.

He was trembling.

"I- I'm so glad you're okay, Lance. For a while I thought- that you might be....." The guilt dropped like a stone in his stomach as he felt the red paladin gasp slightly in his closure. "Your comms were completely offline, and, no matter what Pidge did, we couldn't track your signal, we always got an Error message back to us. I was beginning to believe that you were gone, that I- we had killed you." He shook his head, finally remembering how to move and holding the other back, to convey through his touch that this was real, he was real and alive and so, so sorry.

"I'm sorry Keith, something really unexpected happened, and I couldn't reach you, I just- I know I shouldn't have- but the info I got-" Keith raised his head and looked him dead in the eye, the fire that he was so used to watch sizziling in _his_ Keith's eyes mirrored in his own, burning bright and fierce and focused solely on him.

It burnt.

"What? Did you- did you risk your life in an attempt to get some knowledge back to us?" He barely had moved his lips when Keith interrupted him again. "Tell me you didn't, please." He said nothing. Keith's face fell.

"Lance..." The way he uttered his name made him feel like crawling into a hole, whether out of shame or regret, was still to be seen, but he knew he didn't want to hear that sorrowful tone of voice in the other ever again, and lest of all because of him.

"Do you know how worried we were? How guilty? If something had happened to you again because of me- if you had died I-" Lance frowned, confused, he knew that both Keith and Alex -who was looking disapprovingly at him- were both very attached to him, for whatever reason, and that they were kind of overprotective of him for being young and stuff.

But they seemed to get their memories switched up every now and then in the weirdest of ways. Like just now. Keith was looking at him, but he was probably seeing Alex, in a time past where something he did ended up with the other injured, hurt, or in danger of death, maybe giving birth to one of the scars that could be seen on his skin.

It had been the same when Alex had his flashbacks about Shiro getting hurt while he looked at Lance have a fit after he'd come back from a redo, it had been completely unrelated, but they seemed to be affected by his presence, and not in a good way. He was, after all, an anomaly that shouldn't exist in this reality, an extra blue paladin who was unneeded and out of place, so maybe, just maybe...this world was trying to fit him in forcefully on the other's minds, and that was an idea that terrified him more than he'd like to admit.

He wouldn't be responsible for messing up their lives.

Not if he could help it.

It was really mild at the present moment. He could see it. Keith was blinking in a confused stupor, murmuring a string of garbled words in Altean as he switched from just projecting his past worries over Alex onto him, and fretting about the same thing happening again, wich, was impossible because it never happened. At all.

Eventually, his eyes came back into focus, and he glanced at Lance again, biting his lip.

"Look, I appreciate what you're trying to do for us, I really do. But I can't let anything happen to you. I told you before, didn't I? That I wouldn't be able to look other me in the face if you got hurt because of us. "

"I told you, we're not-"

"Whatever you think, I stand by what I said. I made mistakes in the past, rash decisions that nearly costed me to lose the thing that I loved the most, stupid actions taken without thought in the heat of battle that resulted in others having to pay the price for my stupidity." Alex came forth, resting his hand on Keith's shoulder, kissing his cheek sweetly as his other arm held his waist.

"When I look at you, eager to help, to put yourself in danger regardless of the pain that it would bring others, completely disregarding your safety and the warning signals to attain your goal, ignorant to how much those around you love you and would break if they lost you.....It reminds me of myself, of Alex, of all the trouble and hardships we had to go trough, of all the things we had to learn along the way, of desperation and a need to just act, instead of staying stationary." He sucked in a sharp breath, suddenly not wanting to keep this conversation going.

Keith was wrong, he misunderstood the situation, it wasn't like he was reckless on purpose, it wasn't like he actively seeked danger or ignored the risks just to get what he wanted, like he was hyperfixated on his current goal.

No. Not at all, because.....because....

It wasn't like he was scared he was stuck here forever, or that an ancient evil being was about to swallow the entire whole of existence or that he felt like he was suffocating and had no purpose as of now and the only thing keeping him going was making sure this universe got a future, because he wasn't sure if he was ever going to get one.

It wasn't like he got up after every redo wondering if it would be his last.

Not at all.

Soft hands cupped his cheeks and brushed his traitorous tears away, dropping small kisses on his eyelids as he sniffed and hiccupped, trying his best not to outright sob, he had some dignity left, dammit.

"I'm sorry, Lance. I shouldn't have pushed so much, I crossed a line. I just....I overlapped Alex's past with your present, saw an outcome that hurt more than death itself, and, for a moment, it was him I lost contact with, him that could have been hurt and broken. And it made me freeze with fear." He nodded, trying to wipe his tears, blinking stupidity when Alex did it for him with a small handkerchief, a melancholic smile sweeping over his features.

"I- I get it, he's your bethroded, I would be worried too if-"

"No, don't get me wrong." He glanced at Keith. "I might have had a flashback about the past, but I was, and still am, very concerned about you. I was scared for him, and for you, I feared for his safety, and also for yours, I wanted him to come back home, and so I wanted you to. Do not mistake me projecting for a lack of love towards you, because for all intents and purposes, you are Lance, and no matter the universe or reality, I'm certain I love you in every single one of them, and this one is not an exception." His face got really warm really fast and he just wanted to bolt and hide until his embarrassment and the heart-warming heat in his chest dwindled down.

"The love I hold for Alex extends to you, although in a different way that what we share, I don't want to make _your_ Keith mad-"

"For the last time, we.are.not.together." He rolled his eyes in fond exasperation, cheeks still warm, but Keith only smiled softly as Alex held his hand, their rings shining a bright purple as they touched.

"Oh, you might not be, but fate works in strange ways, Lance." He pouted and various giggles reached his ears, the other paladins laughing softly as they talked with Lotor in the distance, probably eavesdropping on their conversation, if the raised corner of Lotor's mouth was anything to go by. He huffed, raising his hands to take the wig away -it itched- and throw it to the floor, then getting the contacts out too, since his eyes stung from all the crying he did, it felt refreshing to finally be himself again, no more disguise, no more masks.

He spotted Sendak chuckling from the prince's side, and his presence was enough to bring him back to the matter at hand, his eyes widening like saucers as he struggled to gather everything he knew and sorting it from crucial to trivial.

He held the red paladin's hands in a tight grip, ready to blurt it out and-

" _Emergency, Emergency, enemy ship detected, estimated time of arrival: five doboshes. Emergency, Altean military type ship detected, ETA five doboshes, prepare for interception. Repeat-_ " He tuned the warnings out after that, his heart beating out of his ribcage as he unconsciously held Keith's hands tighter, eyes darting wildly around, wondering, speculating. How had they found the ship? It was impossible, Pidge's systems made it completely invisible, they were hidden from every kind of radio signal out there and their coordinates were known by no one outside the group, there was no way to know where they were unless.....unless they had inside help.

Someone was yelling, panic filled the room, but he had a clear objective.

His furious eyes sought Sendak, and in a movement too quick to catch, he dashed towards him and had his bayard pointed at the Galran's head, seething as his finger struggled to not press the trigger for his treachery. No matter what reality, he always messed everything up.

He should have killed him when he had the chance.

Now it was too late.

Once the Altean Empire finds you, once _Void_ finds you, you cannot escape.

"How dare _you_." Sendak held up his hands in surrender, but the motion did nothing to appease his anger, and he growled and moved his finger-

"Stop!" Lotor held his hand, immobilizing his bayard and looking at him with a badly concealed terror, taking in his short brown hair and probably reaching conclusions he didn't care about. "What do you think you're doing!?" He hissed, proceeding to execute one of the moves _his_ Keith had taught him, moving his arm backwards and down, then tripping Lotor with his foot and holding his right shoulder with his free hand, pinning him to the floor as he aimed his bayard towards Sendak once more.

He ignored the surprised gasps that echoed back to him in favor of cornering the Galran with his glare and the energy building in the barrel of his blaster.

"Don't you _see_? There is no way to find the castle from the outside, Pidge told me that! No one knows where you are, ever. The only way to find your location is if someone smuggled it. He is a traitor, he betrayed you and the universe, he's sold you out to Allura!" Sendak shook his head, looking horrified and trembling, tears forming in the corner of his eyes.

"I would never! Zarkon and Honerva have been fighting for a long time for this war to end! To free the universe! I would never betray their trust! They saved my life from the Queen's slavery!" His words meant nothing to Lance, and he prepared to press the trigger.

"I won't let you hurt anyone ever _again_." His finger moved, his eyes narrowed and he clicked his teeth, he could hear nothing around but the sound of his heartbeat and his heavy breaths, his anger and fear and the feeling that he ha failed these people smothering him, suffocating him.

Then a body was tackling him to the ground and the moment was over, his shot buried itself on the metal wall behind Sendak and the latter fell to the ground in a heap, shaking like a leaf and looking ready to pass out, but very much alive.

He screamed in fury and turned to throw away whoever had body slammed him. But his eyes met their mirror image, and he felt himself shrink, curling in on himself as his other half regarded him with apprehension and a touch of sadness.

"Don't act so rash. Don't do something that you might later regret." He leaned in and touched foreheads, expression somber and remorseful. " I know very well how that feels, and it's not something I wish on you. Calm down, please, Lance." His bayard lay a few feet to his right, but even if he could reach it again, the fight had left him almost as soon as Alex's voice spoke to him, his tone ringing like pouring rain, solemn and knowing.

The pain in his voice had been almost palpable.

He saw from his periphery as Lotor stood up, dusting his clothes and regarding Alex with a look that said ' _you have some explanations to do_ ' before he focused on Lance, doing a brief check up to assure that Sendak was okay.

The prince sighed and looked down at him. Literally.

"Do you always act so impulsively? If you'd just let me talk, this all could have been avoided." He blinked, wasn't capable of doing much in his current situation anyway." Sendak couldn't have contacted any outside source, he's unable to do so. Lower members of the GoM are equipped with suits that contact directly to headquarters, and if any modification or addition is done, the alarm will flare up and the suit will self destroy." He gaped, retracting his earlier thoughts. These guys were as paranoid as Kolivan and the Blade, or maybe even _more._ Holy shit, who would want to join if they have to wear an exploding suit? Not him, for sure.

"Their weapons are linked to the suit, so the norm applies, and no external tech is allowed to any member, specially Altean ones or ones that can contact any other end. The only ones capable of carrying external machinery are the high ranking members, those that have been with my father since Altea got destroyed or even before. And that only includes me, mother, uncle Kolivan, Antok and Ulaz." Lance whined, uncomprehending. Then, had it been Lotor? He acted nonchalant about it, but he'd been willing to help him way too easily when he found him at the Queen's castle, and being a hundred percent sure that Sendak wasn't guilty....

"Uhm...." From his place on the floor, he watched as Sendak fidgeted, the image weird and wrong and making him feel like he was in the twilight zone -it was another reality, did that count? "Lotor, sir, I'm afraid you're mistaken. There is someone else with the Rank of General among the Guns." Lotor froze, whirling around to pin Sendak with a look of surprise and apprehension that was slowly bubbling to the surface.

"What?" The prince helped the other stand, voice tight.

"I found out by accident last week, when your father was talking with lady Honerva about upcoming missions. It turns out, this person was an acquaintance of both Zarkon and Alfor -when he'd been alive- and one of his most trusted friends, reason why your father granted him the title of general and the clearance for acting on his own." The hairs on the back of his neck rose, and he felt like whatever Sendak was going to say wasn't going to be pretty.

"Why are you stalling? Who are you scared of? Speak." Sendak exhaled and-

"It's Thace."

The bomb dropped. Thace came back from the small trip he'd taken to the ship. Lance saw how his face twisted and realization dawned on him. Saw as his hand reached towards his pocket to bring out a weapon.

In a split second, he pushed Alex off, reached for his bayard, took aim, and fired.

The blow set to stun knocked him off his feet and he fell to the ground, Hunk and Sven running to his side to immobilize him in the blink of an eye.

His gun fell as his grip slackened, too shocked to do much but sit there and watch as Sven tied some kind of rope around Thace's wrists as Pidge inspected him, patting every inch of his body until she stopped at his calf, reaching down his boot and taking out a small -not bigger than a Gac coin- device. Her raged scream reverberated around the room as she threw the thing to the floor, stepping on it more times than necessary then running to the other side of the room, brining up a holo screen and typing code at the speed of light.

The rest of the team watched from the sidelines, White looked nervous, while Sven's expression was hard and unforgiving, Matt looked terrified and kept glancing from side to side in a frenzy, and Hunk kept wriggling his hands in an anxious tick. Even Keith and Alex were transfixed, eyes focused on Thace as the weight of his actions finally sunk in. They were unsure of what to do, until Lotor walked forward, gait dignified and body tense, his eyes bathed in sorrow as he felt the heavy blow of betrayal.

"Thace......why?" It was a simple question, but Thace's face held a myriad of emotions, his ears twitching back as if in shame, body language depicting defeat and surrender.

"I-...Alfor was my best friend, we were always together. Since we were children, we grew up with each other and, even when my whole family died, he never abandoned me. He stayed by my side, he became my family and gave me a home when I had nothing." His voice sounded choked up, like he was on the verge of crying, and Lance had half the mind to join him.

"It was unusual to see Galra roaming Altea, we are a reserved race, and we prefer to keep to ourselves, residing in our own planet, Daibazaal, instead of spreading around the cosmos and populating or mingling with other planets. People on Altea looked at us with raised brows, doubting our friendship, seeing that Alfor was the future king and he shouldn'thave been mingling with commoners. But he never cared, he begged his father to take me in, he bowed his head and pleaded for understanding, he was my brother, my...." A hiccup left his mouth, silenced by his teeth biting into his lip.

"He was my whole world, I loved him, I loved Aina and I.....I loved Allura and Bokar more than you could ever imagine. When Aina died, I felt like a part of my heart had shattered, but Allura and her brother needed someone to be there for them, someone besides their father, who was too busy to be able to be with them as much as he wanted. I basically raised both of them, they became like my own children, I cherished them and our time together every single day, until...." He gulped in a deep breath, eyes never rising from the floor where they were fixated.

"Until Altea got destroyed. I lost, not only the home I grew to love, but the people that meant the world to me, everything. And then Allura came back, she was alive, and I was overjoyed, I just wanted to be there for her, help her through this, be by her side. She may have changed, she may have become the very thing she hated, but she's still my little girl, I could never betray her, no matter what she asked of me." The silence was stifling, and Lance felt like he was drowning, not only had he nearly gotten an innocent man killed because of his bias, but it was basically his fault that the Alteans were about to ambush them.

If he hadn't gotten into trouble in the first place, he wouldn't have needed someone to take him back, he wouldn't have lead the enemy right to Voltron.

His chest hurt.

Then his whole side was. When the ship titled to the right and he tumbled down unceremoniously, hitting his head in the process and making him see stars. He coughed and tried to get past the dizzy spell assaulting him, looking around to make sure no one was hurt.

"Shit! They're here!" Pidge shouted from the other side. "We're being boarded!"

"Dive in the cameras, Katie! Show the entrance to the ship!" Alex held Keith in a firm grip even as he barked orders left and right, Pidge doing what he asked as fast as she could.

Then a holo screen displaying the hatch appeared before them, and a dark figure walked forward in a quick pace, cape billowing after them as their long hair undulated and flowed, trailing behind like tendrils of light. The sword on their hands was big but elegant, bathed in gold and silver and blue, the colors matching to the armor that covered their body, depicting a warrior ready for war.

The glare of the crown above her head was nothing compared to the one she sent towards the cameras, blue eyes swirling with anger and fire, ready to burn anyone that dared interfere and block her path.

Queen Allura had arrived.

And she was out for blood.

 


	11. Bonds (Part 1)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lance decides he doesn't like Alex's self sacrificing nature, and although he's being a hypocrite, because he's the same way, he takes matters into his own hands to make a gamble he hopes pays off later on, willing to put his own life at stake if that means finally getting through Allura.
> 
> A fight ensues, the seed of doubt it's placed, questions are made and, for once, he feels like he's been sucessful, consequences be dammned.
> 
> Keith forces him to talk about his feelings, they argue, and he realizes that maybe keeping secrets isn't the best way to show your trust towards your teammates. But being honest is difficult when you fear rejection, and as the hypocrisy strikes again when they lie to him, he flees to search for the truth, and gets on the path to the ending he fought so hard for.
> 
> There, the enemy dwells, and what might be the final battle begins.
> 
> The price to pay for defeat is the destruction of all life.
> 
> Lance is not willing to let that happen.
> 
> He has a home to come back to, people he wants to see once more. And when he has to make a decision to end it all, he does so without hesitation, trusting in his bonds to guide him.
> 
> A promise is made, and his family leads him home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Done!! It.is.done! I'm so happy! Surprise bitch, double update! Don't kill me for updating late, i was keeping this surprise, ready to finish it and post it already!  
> This finishes the Kuron/ Alternate reality arc! Yay!
> 
> I hope you guys enjoy it, i poured all my love into it and it's ending and i hope it satisfies everyone! Next arc might take a little more time, becase it's my fav, as i said before, and i want to make it justice, so no update schedule set this time, sorry :)
> 
> Feel free to tell me what you think or just scream at me in the comments, i'll scream back, promise.

* * *

 

His eyes widened as he gazed at the screen, mouth hanging open as he tried to come up with something to say. But nothing would come out, his breath was caught in his throat as those hate filled eyes seemed to run right through him, chills raking his body as he remembered his last experience in Allura's presence.

Everything was going _wrong_ , she wasn't supposed to be here, he was going to tell the others the truth of everything and then...and then save Allura, and her family, and make sure they defeated Void before everything would be swallowed by darkness.

But _of course_ he hadn't taken into account that the universe had it out for him, of course he hadn't foreseen this, he should have known better, he really should've.

Panic began setting in, a sensation he was getting increasingly familiar with, teeth biting his lip and fingers shaking slightly, holding onto the sleeves of his jacket with too much force. He thought he heard it rip. He didn't care.

"Katie! Close all the doors leading to the castle's core! _Now_!" The sudden shout brought him out of his haze, Alex frantically barking orders. And he watched as Katie scrambled to the nearest panel and began inputting codes and algorithms, muttering all the while things that made no sense to him.

Meanwhile, at Alex's side, Keith looked terrified, eyes bulging out of his sockets and hands clutching onto his lover's arm, complexion paler than normal as tremors raked his body. He seemed to have frozen over where he stood, his gaze never wavering from the screen that depicted Allura's advances as she destroyed door after door with deadly accuracy and a strength that was only attributed to Alteans.

"Alex! This isn't working, she's breaking through them like butter! If this goes on she'll be here too soon!" Katie's panicked voice echoed around them, and the atmosphere turned even more somber still, the Voltron members looking at each other and then back at Alex, who was frowning, deep in thought and completely oblivious to anything around him.

Lance swallowed.

This was _his_ fault, _he_ brought her here. If only he'd been more careful, if only he hadn't been so blind. He should have looked at Thace's and Sendak's auras, he should have listened to their voices to find out if they were dangerous or sincere, he should have come back to the team alone, he should have been more cautious.

But he hadn't, and now he was going to pay the price.

No, even worse. _Everyone_ was going to pay the price for his mistakes, and that hurt more than any redo ever had. He couldn't bear the thought of being the cause for the team's downfall, it felt like it was tearing his chest apart.

"Katie, engage the security systems, we need to stall her as much as we can." Alex crossed his arms and tapped his fingers on his belt incessantly, foot rhythmically slapping the ground, a tic Lance himself had and he used to try and calm down when he was downright scared or feeling trapped.

Not a good sign.

From the other end of the room, Katie nodded, eyes heavy with remorse as she turned on the program that would -hopefully- keep Allura occupied long enough for them to think of a plan or course of action.

"Alex ." White walked towards the black paladin, face tight and eyes pained. " What do you want us to do?" Alex shuddered but said nothing, hands shaking. "This has gone on for long enough, none of us want it to end this way, but if you just give us the order, we will-"

"No." Alex uttered but a single word, but the denial and the power behind it left him quivering where he stood, so much raw emotion in his voice that Lance thought he was going to cry at first. But his eyes hardened instead, hands clenching into fists until his palms bled and his knuckles turned white, shoulders tense and ready to snap at any second.

"Buddy, hey -Hunk approached, looking sorrowful - please reconsider, it's been years, she's never hesitated to hunts us- _you_ down, not even once. " His best friend averted his gaze to the ground, voice heavy and tired, like he just wanted everything to end.

" She hurt us, all of us, she's the reason Shiro lost his arm and Matt his leg - _What? Lance hadn't known that_ \- most of our scars exist because of her machinations, and with the bounty on your head, you haven't been able to live peacefully ever since." From his right, Sven lowered his head, and Matt looked on the verge of crying himself, his right hand gingerly touching his leg with a sorrowful look in his eyes.

"Don't you think it's time to end this, Lance?" White's voice boomed around them, tight and choked, his eyes shining with unshed tears as he held his bayard in a too tight grip, mouth upturned in distress but shoulders squared, showing his determination to- _protect him this time, he's suffered enough, he lost many things he held dear and had to live constantly in the run._

_He sacrificed his happiness for me and Matt, for us to be together, he desperately fought to keep us alive and bring us back home. And I know he never blamed us for any of it, for any of the scars and the things he missed. But as Keith's older brother, as Lance's friend, I've never been able to forgive myself, so this time.....this time....._

"Just give the order, stay here safe, let us protect you for once, too." Lance snapped from the small insight of White's thoughts, feeling the weight of his emotions and his desire to protect, to keep safe, to return the kindness that had been given to him.

It was overwhelming and warm.

He didn't know exactly what happened to them, what prompted White to be so protective and fierce when it came to Alex's safety. But he knew his intentions were good, he was honest with his emotions and where they came from, and, right now, even if it tore him apart to think of hurting Allura, he was willing to do so if it meant his family, the people he most cared about, would be alright.

White was a strong person, his will was unbreakable.

It made Lance feel proud, for some reason.

From the corner of his eye, he saw Alex clench his hands into fists, eyes shadowed by his bangs as he hung his head low, body taut and tense, looking on the verge of snapping. He seemed to be debating whether to listen to his team's input or not, shoulders trembling as a shaky sight escaped his lips, breath hitching from time to time.

It looked like his decision was made as soon as Keith came into his line of sight, though. The red paladin looked like a shadow of himself, a pale, terrified mess with trembling lips and watery eyes ready to overflow, his hands reaching to touch Alex, landing tenderly on his shoulders and going up to cup his cheeks.

He ran his thumb softly over his cheekbones and spoke his name in a whisper, knocking their foreheads together in an act of intimacy that looked to seek comfort. Keith didn't seem to relax until his lover reached back and held him in a tight embrace, the red paladin's face being squished on his shoulder. But he didn't seem to mind, the action made him melt into the warmth, and he seemed more at peace than for the past ten minutes.

He watched as Alex tightened his hold, kissing Keith's cheek gently and murmuring sweet nothings into his ear as the other nodded along, his own hands running up and down the expanse of Alex's back, soothing the soreness visible in his muscles.

After a few minutes though, they broke apart, and the black paladin raised his eyes to lock gazes with his team, seemingly gauging their reactions and resolve.

"Okay, I will leave everything in your hands, please be safe." The team brightened up, promising victory and to protect everyone here and their home, all of them burning bright, relishing in the trust their leader had bestowed them with.

Lance hadn't needed to activate his special hearing to know that Alex was _lying_.

He knew that look in his eyes, that fierce and overwhelming desire to protect what's yours, a flame blazing, threatening to swallow everything in it's wake, whether be his own life or the dangers willing to harm his family, his whole world, his reason to be.

He didn't have to look into his mind to understand what he was going to do next. He was _him_ , after all, he recognized his train of thought, and knew what he was willing to surrender for the well being of his team.

Lance would do the same in his situation, after all.

So that's why, when Alex said he was going to check on Katie -who was on a panel near to an exit door- his mind was already made up, and his hand was reaching for his bayard without any hesitation whatsoever, shifting it into his blaster and aiming at Alex's back in a movement too quick to be noticed by the others, who hadn't doubted their leader's words for a second.

But Lance knew _he_ was a liar, both him and Alex were, because when people they loved were involved, the priority was their safety, disregarding the grief and betrayal their actions might cause. His own life was inconsequential in the face of losing everything he held dear, and if he had to be sneaky and lie to their faces so they could remain alive, then _so be it._

When Lance had gazed deep within eyes like his own, he saw his courage and his cowardice being reflected at him, and, like reading Alex's mind, he'd known what he was going to do.

And it was _unacceptable_.

The shot he fired reverberated throughout the room, everyone in his near vicinity freezing at the sound, watching in a horrified stupor as Alex's eyes rolled in the back of his head, his body swaying for a second before falling forward, crashing with a loud thud that was deafening in the stillness that surrounded them.

It lasted for about two seconds before a scream was ripped from Keith's throat and he was running forward, throwing himself at Alex's side, crying. The guilt he felt was overshadowed by the feeling that he'd done the right thing, for once. He was going to stop himself from making the same stupid mistakes that always cost him his happiness.

Hands grabbed him roughly, tearing his bayard from his hand and holding his arms behind his back with terrifying force, the grip strong enough to break them if he as much as thought of moving. He had barely a tick to take in a swallow breath before he was being pinned to the ground by the person restraining him, none other than White, his face devoid of colour and sporting a raged and betrayed expression as he gazed at Lance.

" _Why_ , Lance? How could you do this? We trusted you!" It hurt, to hear someone with the face of his leader say something like that, but he didn't regret it one bit, it was _necessary_. White's voice as he berated Lance and asked continuously why, was choked and pained, seeming on the verge of crying, and from what he could see and hear from his position on the floor, the others weren't faring much better.

He heaved a sigh and tried to reassure himself that he did the right thing, trying to calm his nerves and psych up for what he was about to do, taking advantage of the small moment of reprieve to try and contact Blue, searching for her cooling presence all throughout the castle.

No dice, she was still out of commission. For him, at least. He could feel her through White, small whispers of apologies and sobs and regret flowing through their bond and filling his mind. She was trying her best to explain to him why this was happening, why she couldn't come back and help him _before_ , why her voice suddenly couldn't be heard by him anymore.

This world was rejecting him.

His connection with Blue felt eroded and on the verge of breaking, and as he listened and tried to decipher the words through her sorrow, he understood. He didn't belong in this reality, he was like the sixth person in a room with only five chairs, he was alien, the odd one out, and the bond between him and his lion was not meant to exist, therefore it had to go.

This reality dictated it so.

Just like the other's memories were being slowly modified to fit him in, it looked like everything linked to his being was slowly being altered or otherwise destroyed, like he was an anomaly that needed to mold itself to this world's designs, or resign to be erased.

Just another thing to add to his growing list of concerns.

Blue whined and weeped softly, asking for forgiveness, saying that she hadn't known the extent to which another universe would seek to reject him, forsake his existence. She whispered as her voice faded away, that if she had known the full consequences of her choice, she would have never brought him here, no matter how desperate she was.

Her presence faded away with a bittersweet ' _sorry_ ' being sent his way through White, the words said with his own voice as she retreated to her mechanical body, having felt what he was about to do next, knowing that she couldn't help, neither oppose his decision.

Confirming what he had already suspected, he raised his gaze towards where Keith kneeled, Alex cradled in his arms as the other lay limp and unresponsive, the red paladin's tears falling slowly and trickling down the other's cheeks. The rest of the team stood protectively around them, all gazing at him with anger and confusion, but most of all, betrayal and sorrow.

He couldn't help the gesture that stretched his lips into a soft smile .

Even when he'd gone behind their backs to do something on his own, they still felt sad and pained for him, they still _cared_. They were really good people, they really shared his team's souls.

Alex had a great team, it was time he realized how much they loved and cared for him, it was time he stopped being selfish and learnt to trust them, rely on them, before something irreversible happened. Honestly, all of them had acted like a unit, moving in tandem and acting quickly with Alex's safety as their first priority, they hadn't hesitated, working in sync and combining their moves to achieve their goal.

And as he watched everyone glare at him, sending mistrust and fury in their gaze, he couldn't help the flare of jealousy that ignited within. The traitorous thoughts filled his mind before he could even comprehend what they truly meant, what hid behind soundless words, and he couldn't stop their ravaging, couldn't put up his walls soon enough.

_'Why isn't it me they hold so dear? Will I ever be that loved, respected, trusted? Would anyone cry for me like that if I was in danger?'_

He let his head fall to the floor with a thud, the sound echoing around in the stifling silence that threatened to suffocate him. He had no time for pity parties, he had to move on -Blue's spell would have come in handy right now to cool down his out of control emotions, that were like that because of this reality's influence, no doubt-, this wasn't his world, his home, and as much as he envied them and what they had, it was never meant to be _his_ , and he wasn't about to steal it away.

No.

He was here to protect, to save.

And that was what he was going to do.

A sigh escaped his lips before he spoke." Guys, don't panic, he's still alive. Check if you don't believe me." He tilted his head to the side so he could gaze at Keith, watching as the Altean ran a trembling hand from Alex's cheek to his neck, searching for his pulse. Purple eyes widened, most likely because he found a heartbeat.

Keith's tears of relief were no better than his sorrowful and angered ones. For some reason, watching him in pain and filled with desperation tugged at something inside Lance's chest, but he didn't have enough time to discover what it was or act on his impulses.

He had no time.

"Now, White, can you please let go? My arm's going numb." He let out a chuckle, hoping to placate the blue paladin's anger and vanish the tension that had risen in the last five minutes.

"Not until you explain what you did." White's tone was cold and hard, but he could feel the small flame of hope rekindling at his words, could feel the other's desire to trust and believe in him, the affection he held towards him, and his need to understand _why_.

From his left, Sven walked forward and peered down at him with concern written all over his face. " I think you should let him go, brother. He would never hurt us intentionally, you know that as well as I do." The grip on his arms tightened momentarily, but after a tick it loosened, allowing him to sit down cross-legged on the floor, rubbing his wrists as he whistled, kinda impressed at White's strength.

From where he sat, he gauged everyone's reactions, White and Sven stood together, whispering secrets between them with their eyes trained on him, narrow and never letting him out of their sight. Pidge and Hunk were both a few feet ahead of Keith, their weapons -some kind of laser gun thingy- aimed at him and ready to fire, but their eyes betrayed their fear and denial, it was clear as day they didn't want to do it, didn't want to hurt him.

Matt stood besides his sister, mouth upturned and brows furrowed, a Lance in his hand that he seemed to be confident in using, the sharp end pointed at him as the lights reflected it's deadly blade. And then,....then, there was Keith, whose expression was torn between relief, anger, misery and betrayal, his body covering Alex's protectively as his reddened eyes blinked up at him, calculating.

It hurt, to be on the end of those looks and reactions, but it was understandable. He just shot a teammate for seemingly no reason, he would have done the same in their situation, he had brought this on himself.

And gladly so.

His eyes sought Keith, trying to convey his apology through gaze alone, but he knew words were needed. " I'm sorry Keith, I wouldn't have done this if I didn't think I didn't have another choice." Keith whined low in his throat, hands clutching Alex's undersuit with extreme force.

"W- what do you mean by that? How could you just-....just, shoot him like that!" He smiled sadly at his counterpart's lover, his hand reaching for his bayard slowly, carefully.

"I had to. I know how his mind works better than any of you, I knew what he was trying to do, and I couldn't allow it." His pinky finger touched his bayard, and he tugged it close, trying not to be noticed. Which was hard when so many pairs of eyes were focused on you, but he was good at hiding, good at sneaking, and with a good enough reason to motivate him, he could do so rigth before a crowd and get away with it.

Keith visibly swallowed, body trembling. " What.....what did he-?" Before he could even finish his sentence, Lance transformed his bayard into his blaster, the setting on 'blinding' before he fired two successive shots, making the room erupt in white and leaving it's occupants momentarily blind.

Perfect for his escape, if it could be called that.

He had closed his eyes before releasing the trigger, so he could see perfectly well when he opened them, gazing around for barely a second to stand and run towards the door, the one where Alex had planned on going alone, where he would have sacrificed himself for his loved ones.

As he strided forward, he took one last glance at the camera focused on Allura, and saw that she had destroyed nearly all of the metal walls separating her from the ship's center, which meant she was closer to them, which meant _danger_.

Nodding to himself and gathering his courage, he crossed the threshold, did a one eighty, and shot the control panel to the door, effectively separating him from the team and keeping them confined to the bay for a short period of time. He just hoped it was enough.

Through the panel on the other side of the door, he saw everyone blinking continuously, eyes searching for their own and letting out breaths of relief when they saw no one had been harmed, all of them swarming together and bleeding concern all over Alex.

His face probably did a weird thing, then, he wanted to smile and cry at the same time, but couldn't decide between the two, couldn't find enough time to indulge in any of them. So he turned his back to them, to the sight of their familiar faces and warm auras, walking towards a destination dripping with fury and a scorching light that would surely burn him to his bones if he wasn't careful.

His first step wasn't even done when a voice stopped him.

"Wait! Lance!" He froze for a tick, but it was enough to sap his resolution and dwindle his will. If it had been anyone else who'd called for him, he would have continued on and never looked back. But he couldn't ignore the pain-filled voice screaming for him, choking with tears as desperation swept away any other emotion.

Biting his lip and willing himself to look nonchalant and impassive, he turned around to face the glass panel a few feet in front of him, raising his head to meet Keith's gaze, his eyes wide and horrified, filled with tears that he tried to brush away, only for them to fall once more.

"Lance! Where are you going? What's going on? Why did you-? Please....." His broken voice shattered something inside Lance, his pitiful plea making his breath stutter and his heart clench painfully. And in that moment, he knew he couldn't just walk away without an explanation, without a word, even if that would have been the smartest choice.

He was weak, he couldn't bear the look on this Keith's face, couldn't bear to be the one causing him suffering.

His smile must have looked fake, he knew, because he could feel, through the red paladin's whispers of his name, the concern and worry dripping with every breath, with every word that left his lips. He felt like he didn't deserve it, he was the one that caused this in the first place, the one that messed up. His mistake had brought Allura here, it was only natural that he'd be the one to clean up his own mess, and, hopefully, while he was at it, steer this universe in the right direction.

"I'm sorry Keith, tell that to the others. I didn't mean to scare any of you or hurt Alex, but he left me no choice." He giggled, and it felt choked, like the words were caught in his throat and he had to fight to get them out. " I am _him_ , in a way, I know how his mind works better than any of you. And that's why I knew what he was planning before you even suspected it, we've always been sneaky, we know how to hide what we really think and feel. He fooled you, but...." His right hand gripped the place above his heart, eyes moist as he gazed into the depths of purple ones with an overwhelming sorrow.

"But he couldn't fool _me_. He was going to sacrifice himself, Keith." A sharp intake of breath, a choked gasp, desperate words of denial. " It's the truth, I wouldn't lie about this." Keith lay his hands on the glass, his mouth upturned and trembling as he spoke.

"And how....how do you know that? How are you so sure?" Lance laughed, self deprecating, giving himself a hard pat on the chest, looking at the other with resigned acceptance.

"Because....Keith, I would have done the same thing in his place. I would have left the room and locked the doors to anyone, inside or otherwise, and I would have left to face Allura alone, to make sure that the people I loved, my whole world, would stay safe." He watched as Keith froze, his hand clenching into a fist as his eyes widened, clouded with terror and realization. He'd probably guessed what Lance was planning already, and didn't seem happy about it.

The fist resting on the glass panel began pounding incessantly and furiously against it, the strength of the impacts in quick succession rattling the door, making the sound reverberate throughout the corridor in which he stood.

"No!! No, Lance you can't!" Even when muzzled by the walls separating them, he could hear the panic and urgency in Keith's voice as he rattled against the metal wall in a frenzy, desperation seeping from his tone as it mixed with regret and fright.

Keith's intentions were clear in his words, and they felt like a punch to the gut, quickly drenching him with their overwhelming honesty, care, affection, and a mighty need to hold him in his arms and shush his worries, make him share the weight of the burden he was carrying and _stop_.

_Stop hiding, stop holding everything back, stop distancing yourself, stop taking away all the pain for us, stop carrying all the responsibility by yourself, stop crying._

_Please._

An unbidden whimper left his lips before he could swallow it down, Keith's bare thoughts felt like a plea whispered directly into his heart, stripping him of any barrier whatsoever, direct and true and completely genuine. He couldn't find any lie, the red paladin's quintessence was aching for him, suffering, praying to be able to reach out and prevent him from doing something stupid.

 _'Too late.'_ He thought. His mind was made up, he wouldn't back down, he would protect them with all he had, and if he failed.....well, he would try again, and again, and _again_.

Any other outcome besides victory was unacceptable.

He would succeed.

Gripping his bayard tight and with a sharp intake of breath, he squared his shoulders, raised his head, and sent his best smile towards the other, hoping to convey confidence and evoke comfort.

The tears falling down Keith's cheeks attested his failure.

"You're a good man, Keith, and so is Alex and everyone else, I just....didn't want him to make a mistake, because this one would have been irreversible, and even when it came from the right place, I wasn't about to let him waste a perfectly beautiful life with a bright future ahead just because he was scared of what he had to lose." Shrugging his shoulders, he smirked and turned his back to Keith, looking at him from the corner of his eye.

"He really needs to learn how to trust others and stop being a coward, tell him that for me, will ya?" He gazed towards the end of the corridor, hearing sounds of metal being sliced and cries of anguish and fury. She was near, he needed to hurry.

"Hypocrite! How can you say that when you're about to do the same?!" Laughing to himself, he sprinted forward. No matter the reality, Keith always had to have the last word, it was strangely comforting, familiar.

"I never said _I_ wasn't a coward!" He yelled back.

Keith's voice faded away as he ran at high speeds towards the core of the castle, the last thing he heard from the red paladin being his name, yelled at the top of his lungs, to the point it echoed various times around him.

Like a war cry that joined him on his way to the battlefield.

He let it shroud him in hopes of suffocating the anxiousness that threatened to overwhelm him.

It didn't work.

\--

Finding Allura was...incredibly easy. He just had to follow the path of destruction and sparks from wrecked machinery, knowing that she'd be there, at the end of it all. He hadn't had time to change from his stealth clothes into his own armour, had nothing with himself but his bayard, but he'd shed some of the more 'decorative' pieces of his outfit to be, ast least, more comfortable.

He would need all the help he could get when he faced Allura, and he really didn't feel like dying because he'd tripped on his cape or the skirt like thing that ran over his pants, no thanks sir. He knew she was around the corner, could feel her rage even before he saw her, all-encompassing and devastating, uncontrollable, swirling in madness like a force of nature, unstoppable and fierce.

"Come out, you coward! Come face me with honor, face the consequences of your actions!" Her voice carried an edge of insanity that he didn't like, coupled with sorrow and grief and a touch of fear that made for a very dangerous cocktail, clouding her mind and making her blind to everything surrounding her.

She was set on achieving her revenge, her only goal being to hurt him, Alex, like she thought he hurt her, bring him pain and suffering until he begged for mercy and pleaded for the sweet embrace of death. He didn't like this.

 _This_ was not Allura, he refused to believe so, he was pretty sure those were not her wishes, they couldn't be. She was overcome with anger and a desperate wish for relief, for those dark and ugly emotions to leave her body and mind and finally gain reprieve. She wanted nothing more than to rest, to _stop_.

And he wanted to be naive, wanted to trust, he wanted to believe that the small spark or regret and fear he'd seen in her eyes on the castle had been true. That a part of her, trapped under layers and layers of anguish and heartbreak, still had faith in them, too, that she still wanted to believe that she'd reach her hand out and find that she was not alone, that her friends had never left her.

He couldn't give up on her.

Not when she shared the same face and soul, the same glimmering aura that his own princess shone back in his homeworld, not when he knew she'd been betrayed and used like a tool, lied to, trapped in a mess of strings connected to Hira's -Void's- dark hands as she selfishly brought forth her own desires, the universe her playground and it's inhabitants the unwilling puppets.

He wouldn't give up on her.

He knew there was still hope. And he was going to do his damn best to make sure Allura, and everyone in team voltron, had their happy ending, no matter what.

Gulping in a deep breath, he closed his eyes, seeing Allura's glittery and colorful aura falling like a waterfall to the ground, a thin layer of pink covering the floor and reflecting her own anguished face back at her, eyes wild as she brought her sword down on another, unsuspecting door, the metal falling apart like butter.

She was still screaming, she had never stopped.

He opened his eyes, blinked away the tears that stubbornly wanted to fall down his cheeks, and with a flourish and a quick, determined turn, rounded the corner to face the wrath of a goddess.

Alone.

As soon as her eyes caught sight of him, her shoulder slumped, and the fist closed around the sword's handle tightened to the point it looked like it hurt, knuckles white and palm bleeding from the nails now imbedded into her skin.

The small 'drip drip' of her blood steadily falling to the ground was the only sound disturbing the silence around them, alarms and faulty wires forgotten in the intensity of the moment, his ears ringing while the anxiety and tension overloaded his senses, stifling.

His eyes were laser focused on Allura, watching as her eyes narrowed into slits and her mouth upturned into a frown, fangs bared at him as her eyebrows closed in together, her expression of distaste and utter disgust hurting him deep. For Alex, if not for him, heart hurting with everything he knew, with all the time wasted and lives sacrificed.

Glass castles born from lies, standing proud and regal and unbreakable, but the slightest fracture would expand like spider webs along their surface, eventually cracking and collapsing, breaking into tiny little pieces scattered over a bruised heart.

He just needed to create that small fracture, breach Allura's trust in Hira and wait until the cracks did their job, until the questions left unanswered couldn't be ignored anymore.

Movement from the corner of his eye brough him back to the present.

He took a step back as soon as the Queen moved forward, having learnt his lesson before and not daring a repeat of events. He liked his head attached to his body, thank you very much.

She stopped, a sound like a growl escaping her lips as her body shook with barely contained fury, her hateful eyes never once straying from his, waiting for an opportunity to strike, he was sure. But he wouldn't give her a chance, wouldn't leave an opening, he was going in headfirst -Keith, _his_ Keith, would be proud of him, he liked to think- not letting her time to react, attacking mercilessly again and again until he managed to say all he wanted to say.

"Allura-" She didn't give him any time to talk, just like he expected. She raised her sword and ran at him, her movements fluid and precise, her only intent to kill. He sidestepped and managed to roll to the side, his previous experience with her - as short as it had been- doing wonders for his reflexes, as his eyes saw her coming even before she'd started to move.

He rose from the floor and materialized his bayard, the small twin guns a better choice for this fight -since he knew he was going to be moving around a lot- a comforting weight on his hands as he gripped the handles and put his fingers on the triggers.

Friend or not, Queen or not, he was not about to half ass this fight. He knew that, if he didn't give his all, he was as good as dead, Allura did not mess around, and her skills were light years away from someone like him, who still needed training and guidance to unlock his full potential. That, and the fact that he really didn't want to hurt her.....much.

He aimed at her and quickly fired a barrage of bullets in her direction, the blue light of the projectiles illuminating her face as she ducked to the side, hair swaying back with her sharp movements. She growled at him, once more sprinting in his direction, sword at the ready, and proceeded to crouch down and sweep his feet from under him, sure that she could finish him that way, he saw it on her eyes.

But he was the youngest of five, he'd wrestled with his siblings and friends and even bullies at some point in his life, he had the basic training they gave at the Garrison and some lessons his sister Maria had given him And that, coupled with his life's experiences, made him slippery and sneaky and not an easy target at all.

He owned this dance.

Falling backwards towards the ground, he bended his spine in an arch, his chest puffing up with the motion as he put his right hand on the floor, using the momentum to launch his body backwards, doing a flip and kicking Allura on the chest, finishing his maneuver in a crouch as he skid backwards with the force of his shove, unloading another set of laser bullets in her direction.

She was not happy.

She jumped backwards and glided to the side with the grace only a trained soldier could muster, sword blocking his attack while her other hand reached for her back, the motion swift and quick enough that he only had time to tilt his head to the right, the dagger whizzing past his face and leaving a swallow cut on his cheek.

It stung.

But she didn't relent, didn't leave him time to even breathe, she came at him again and again, never leaving room for strategy or reprieve, her sword and the force behind it pushing him back until he was cornered against the metal wall. He saw her smirk, felt her satisfaction and her overwhelming desire for victory, the feeling of an end and closure stifling in it's intensity.

But he never gave her time to go through with her strike. He raised his free hand and jumped, holding one of the pipes above and resting his feet on the wall, propelling himself forward and flying over her head, rolling on the floor when he landed and whirling around, shooting her on the back while the settings on his gun were set to 'stun'.

Her choked scream made vile rise in his throat, and he felt like the worst of scum for what he was doing, even knowing that it was necessary. He watched as she slumped slightly and her shoulders fell, her rapid breathing and groans echoing loudly even amongst all the noise the wrecked ship was emitting.

Not wanting to test how far his luck would go -and not believing for a tick that the universe wouldn't try to fuck him up once again-, he went over what he knew and what he wanted to tell her as quick as his adrenaline filled mind would allow him, then proceeded to word-vomit what he could and hope for the best.

"Allura, please stop this. I don't want to hurt you, take a good look at me, I'm not who you think I am, please-"

"Don't you think I know that?!" Her tone was as sharp and venomous as before, her words spat at him like they were a curse. " Even though you share the same quintessence, even though your face looks so similar to his that I want to destroy it, I know very well you are not _him_!" He gulped, wary and cautious of her. Even though her back was turned, even though she seemed to have let her guard down, he knew he couldn't relax, she was unpredictable in her anger fuelled frenzy.

One mistake, and he was toast.

"But you sympathise with them, you are helping them! The murderers of my whole race and our beautiful home! Traitors, liars, cunning and treacherous creatures! I do not care who you are, it doesn't mean _anything_ , it changes _nothing_! If you are on this ship, _his_ ship, you are my prey as well." He saw the way her back tensed, how her shoulders rose and her head tilted to the right, felt in her voice the righteousness of someone completely certain that the path they're following is the right one, the only way to salvation.

"No! You have to listen to me! Lance never once lied to you! He's been telling you the truth all this time! Your family is alive!" The mention of her family was a mistake, he realized a second too late. Her aura flared and burned bright, and her voice as she screamed in rage was filled with so much anguish and longing and despair that he felt himself drown in it, his breath taken away for more than one reason.

Seeing as her knee was acquainted with his ribs before he could even think to comprehend what had happened, a cry of pain escaping his lips as he staggered backwards, breathing heavily as his eyes teared up, trying to aim his bayard on her form once more.

How had she gotten to him so quick? It was impossible, he hadn't even blinked, hadn't let her out of his sight, one moment she'd been a few feet before him, next thing he knew she was kicking him on the ribs and sending him crashing towards the far end wall.

Through blurred vision, he saw Allura clutching at something dangling down her neck, tucked safely in between her skin and the layers of armor and clothes and chain mail, the object shining black and pulsating briefly, as if it was alive. She was muttering to herself, voice tight with emotion -yearning, loneliness, remembrance, love- and the only reason he heard what she said next was because of his ability.

"I'm sorry, father, I promised not to use it, but....it is time to end this." She locked eyes with him from the other end of the room, and then-

A sharp pain in his arm - she was suddenly there- how had that happened? She held his wrist and twisted it behind his back, the force of her grip strong enough to break bone, the resulting crack loud above the ringing in his ears and his own scream.

Bending forward, he used the small momentum to bring his head back with all the strength he could muster, his skull making contact with his target as he heard the Queen let out a curse, her grip faltering as she was forced to let him go.

He wasted no time in running towards a corner, turning around as soon as he could and training his blaster forward, sweat running down his face and back as he heaved, feeling his body itch and throb, no part of him free from the pain and the burn of strained muscles.

On the far side of the hallway, Allura clutched at her nose for a tick, but regarded her situation not worrisome enough to keep her from her actual objective, ie: him. Her cheeks and lip were smeared with blood, dripping steadily down her chin and giving her an incredibly feral look, sword in position and pendant glowing in small bursts, the energy seeping out of it confusing and dizzying and not a priority right now, but still extremely distracting.

He didn't know what it was, could only feel raw power and some sort of...call, from it. But what he'd gathered in the few precious seconds he had to analyze Allura's attacks, was that that object allowed her to teleport, it was the only plausible answer for what had transpired. And so, he cornered himself, knowing that while in that position, the only way she could come at him would be up front, no tricks, no upper hand, he knew from where she would attack, and he was ready to counter.

They weren't playing anymore, she was going in for the kill.

And he couldn't allow that, not until she knew the truth, until she understood.

The Queen sneered at him, her eyes alight with fire, narrowed and focused solely on him. She bowed her body slightly forward, sword clutched with both hands on her side and aiming to the front with bent knees, a perfect posture worthy of the best of knights, a trained warrior.

He raised his blaster in defiance. It was a dare, a gamble, he believed he could stop her with this tactic, but was not naive enough to think that things couldn't go wrong. He was ready for both scenarios, he was willing to take the full blown impact of her desperation if it meant she would finally _listen_.

A hiss and a growl made him focus once again, and he watched as Allura's eyes darkened, the baby blue he knew was there turning nearly black.

"You think you can defeat me? No one can stop me, and as soon as I'm finished with you, I will go for the traitor himself, but not before I purify everyone else in front of his eyes first. Feel honored, murderer, you will be the first to expiate for your sins." It was too quick. One second she was on the other side, and the next she stood before him, ready to plunge her sword deep into his body. But he was ready, he changed his bayard to the sniper rifle and blocked her attack, getting ready to counter and land a hit.

Her pendant glowed.

Then, as suddenly as she was there, she wasn't anymore, the shadows slithering on the floor as the air swished around him, ruffling his hair while he was left struggling against thin air, Allura's silhouette disappearing from sight, prompting him to lose his balance, staggering forward a few inches.

But it was all she needed.

The warmth of a body against his back felt foreign, sweltering and overwhelming, causing sweat to run down his back and onto the rim of his pants. They were so closely pressed together that not even the air had a place between them, chest to back, hips to hips, her breath hot on his neck.

As hot and molten as the scorching heat that emanated from his side, dripping steadily down his hipbone and to the floor, his eyes catching the glint of metal that was now stuck through his skin.

He coughed, and was not surprised when he saw red, his knees trembling as he breathed heavily through his nose, trying to gulp down the whimpers of pain that threatened to leave his lips.

He messed up.

He had thought that Allura could only attack up front, that she couldn't teleport if there was nowhere to teleport to, not enough space for her to fit. But she was smart, she was a soldier, and, knowing what he had planned, she turned his preconceived thoughts against him, using the momentum of his own force to separate him from the walls, teleporting into mid air and quickly doing the same as soon as there was space for her to appear behind him.

She was never planning on facing him head on. From the very beginning, she'd been planning to stab him in the back, some sort of poetic justice, a literal reenacting of the backstabbing that she thought Alex had given her so many months ago.

Still, this changed nothing. He had an inkling he would lose, and had prepared himself for both scenarios, wondering how he would tackle the situation if his life was in danger, if he had nothing to lose.

That was the case now, and he knew what he had to do.

Struggling to rise his arms, he bit his lip and held his breath, fingers curling around the edge of the sword and holding on tightly, his palms cut open and bleeding profusely, but the force of his grip never wavering. He was determined to see this through.

"I guess...this settles this fight, doesn't it?" He smiled to himself, feeling in his flesh the slight tremble of the sword impaling him. The small tremors brought a wave of relief that washed over him and made him hum to himself, their meaning igniting the flame of hope in his chest.

"Allura, you need to listen to me. This is important, your family...is alive." The shaking stopped momentarily, and then the weapon was lodging itself deeper and everything was spinning before him as nausea rose in his throat, making him unable to breathe for a minute.

"Do not lie to me. Do not try to deceive me with false claims and pointless hope like he did. I know for a fact that my loved ones and everything I held dear is long gone, I can't feel their auras any longer, they have vanished from this world." Her voice carried the finality of someone that accepts their words as truth, and undeniable fate that cannot be changed

"No...Hira...has been lying to you, she's been...keeping things from you, her intentions are more obscure and...terrifying than you can imagine." Silence was his only answer, and he subconsciously held tighter onto the sword, knowing for a fact that Allura would never leave without it. He'd seen the name Alfor engraved on it's metal in Altean when he managed to catch a glimpse of it's design, a memento of the person she most loved, and the only thing forcing her to stay.

"Listen to me, please. Hira is not who you think she is, she threw herself into the rift right before Altea was destroyed -he stoped to take a shaky breath, coughing- the person that you see is nothing but a fake, an imposter...a- a monster." A humorless laugh came from behind, shrouded in disbelief and denial.

"Is that the best you can come up with? If you were trying to make me doubt my comrades, you chose the worst way to go about it. I trust Hira with my life, she's the one that-"

"Yeah, she's the one that told you all about how Lance wanted to destroy Altea out of fear, isnt' she? How convenient, that she was the only one to witness that particular confession, isnt' it?" A growl and a huff , and then Allura was trying to take out her sword, further cutting up his palms and his flesh. Thankfully, though, she didn't have enough space to maneuver, and his grip prevented Allura from achieving her goal.

"Just, how many times have you seen Hira in person, Allura? Think about it." She stilled, and he could feel her chest, pressed against his back, as it rose and fell with every breath she took.

"That means nothing. She's busy carrying out my will, but never fails to report to me her every move, I am aware of everything she's working on and her accomplishments far surpass those of her comrades. It is just logical that, unless her presence is specially required, she does not appear before me. Nothing escapes my eyes." He breathed through his nose, trying to gather enough air to continue speaking.

Everything was blurry before him, and he was dizzier than before, but his feet were still planted to the ground, immovable. Allura could teleport herself, but she could do nothing while her sword was still plunged into his side, he had the upper hand, for now.

" That reasoning is weak a-and you know it. The only reason she doesn't show up before you is because....because, if you saw her, you would definitely feel her poisonous aura, and you would start wondering just what is wrong with her. And she couldn't affort that, she had her own hidden agenda going on, and she needed you oblivious to every bit of it." Another tug on the sword and he cried out, tears springing to his eyes as he squeezed them shut, wheezing and heaving, feeling like he would pass out any second now. He was surprised that his voice was still steady and going when he felt like he couldn't even breathe, let alone speak.

Determination was a scary and wonderful thing.

"Did you never wonder....just why all the planets -now under your rule- accepted your conquest so easily? I'm sure they had pride and honor, they- they must have opposed you, defied you, do _something_." She shook her head, her hair tickling his neck as a shudder went down his spine, making him tremble.

"Those planets saw the peace and happiness that the Altean Empire could offer them, they realized how pointless war was and how much suffering could be avoided if they joined our cause. They made the smart choice, the right thing." He could feel the truth in her words, how she clung desperately to those beliefs like they were a lifeline, latching onto the fragility of those claims to avoid being devoured by doubt and sorrow.

It was the only thing that kept her moving forward, that prevented her from giving up, the promise of a better future and a world in which nobody had to suffer.

Sadly, a world like that didn't exist, would never exist. Happiness without pain meant nothing, and as darkness cannot exists without light, joy would be devoid of any meaning without sorrow and grief to balance the scales, to learn from.

"Do you r-really think, that those people, no matter how peaceful and cooperative, would have donned the crowns without a fight? Without dispute? Do you truly believe that they did so of their own free will? They were force-" Caught off guard on a second when his grip unconsciously faltered, the Queen mercilessly took her sword out, teleporting away and in front of him.

He watched in a detached manner as his world tilted and his body fell backwards, caught in between the corners as he slid down towards the ground, landing on a messy heap, blood pooling around him.

"I am tired of your games, human. Our cause is just and right, those people wore the device because it was the right thing to do, the next step towards a world without suffering." He rose his eyes and locked gazes with her, breaths caught in his chest with the pain that threatened to knock him out. He was beginning to think that talking to her would not work, that it was a lost cause, that she was in too deep to be swayed, to see truth.

But then he saw it, a tiny glimmer of doubt, a pinprick of hope so small that he would have missed it had he not been looking for it. It was well hidden under layers of righteousness and anger, of determination and obstinacy and the desire to not think too deep about her actions, feeling like she would drown if she dwelled too much into the consequences of her choices, and whether or not they had been ethical.

It was small, and wavering, but it was there and definitely not a new thing. It had been something that had been festering inside her heart from a long time ago. And his words had the desired effect, they brought that uncertainty afloat and forced her to start thinking about the events surrounding her rule, to face the facts and realize that something was definitely not right.

He'd made the first fissure on the glass. The rest was up to her, and he had faith that she would come through.

"A-....'llura, those people were....forced to wear them...they....they are mindless puppets, forced to do Hira's bidding, unable to e-escape. She has a lab where she's been e- experimenting on children -Allura's aura wavered- she has....Alfor and Bokar are there...sleeping inside cryo p-pods." Her breath hitched for a tick, and she took a step back, eyes narrowing while she tried to hide her pain.

"Listen....I'm dying....I have no reason to lie to you...just...grant me my...last will....just tell me this.....who-" He stopped, the taste of copper filling his mouth, choking him while he clawed at his throat, desperate to take in air. He gasped and gagged before he puked onto his side, the liquid mixing with the pool of blood on the floor as the colors seemed to swirl before his eyes.

When he finally managed to stop and take a breath, he slumped onto the wall, completely drained and devoid of energy, his limbs feeling like lead as ice coated his veins. It was so cold.

Gulping back a sob, he sought Allura, and was relieved to see she hadn't left, still standing tall and regal a few feet before him, waiting. She opened her mouth and closed it again, thinking, then, biting her lip, she walked ahead and crouched before him, sword clutched tight and a frown marring her beautiful features.

"I may be ruthless in a fight, in war. But I am not so cruel that I would deny a dying man his last words. Speak, now that you still have breath left to spare. Do so before I change my mind." He inwardly smiled, feeling like the dent he'd made on the glass coating her heart was widening, cracking, ready to shatter with the force of his words.

"Who.....who was the one that told you...about why Altea was destroyed.....?"

An exhale, hard, unrelenting.

"....Hira."

"Who....who lead the armies to conquer all those planets?"

A shaky breath, wavering.

".........Hira."

"Who...had the idea....who was in charge of building the devices...?"

A soft gasp, a tremble.

"...............Hira."

"W-who....told you....that everyone...had been willing to...wear them?"

A stutter.

"H-Hira."

"Who....-he closed his eyes, tired, so tired- who.... handles matters of the empire....while...while you...stay in the castle?"

Silence.

"Hira does...."

"Who....after...you....has the most...power...in the...empire....? Who could...hide things without your knowledge...? Who has...free reign?...Who has never shown herself to you....?Where.....?" His pants became worse, and he felt like his body was buried under a pile of snow, the cold seeping into his bones as he struggled to get out his last question, his last attempt to sway Allura, his last hope.

"Where...is Hira....right now?" The glass broke, and he felt pieces of her metaphorical armor fall and shatter against the ground, revealing the feelings underneath.

He heard a whine and the clatter of metal, heavy breaths close enough to him that he could feel them against his neck, choked and wet. He felt her anguish and her fear, the realization that something out of her control could be happening around her without her knowledge, that in her quest for vengeance she might have overlooked events and, in her indifference, in her blind trust out of grief, she might have made a mistake.

The emotions surrounding her were strong, not enough to garner her trust or for her to change her way of thinking right away, but enough for her to want to seek answers on her own, enough to make her rethink all she ever knew and wonder if, maybe, things weren't as black or white as they seemed.

"I....-she muttered- I do not know....she always said that I didn't have to worry about a thing...that I was a good Queen....that my people loved me, that they followed me willingly....that I had to focus on Voltron....I...."

"I never noticed anything amiss....but I....I have never seen her in the flesh...." Her voice broke on the last word, and he was overwhelmed as her aura fluctuated and swirled against him like a tornado, so much turmoil kept at bay, so much self-doubt and insecurity rising to the surface.

She reminded him of himself, hiding his weakness under a false bravado and a chipper and bubbly personality, scared that if everyone saw his true self, they would be disappointed, think him frail and untrustworthy, inadequate.

He was suddenly reminded that this Allura, this Queen, was barely eighteen, a teenager, a kid, she wasn't like his Allura, who'd been an only child and trained to be Queen, who knew how to fight and hold her own, who knew when to flee and when to counter, when to talk and when to strike.

For this Allura, her brother had been the heir to the throne, and thus, she had been trained in diplomacy and self defense, but she hadn't been fit for war, to lead, she hadn't known what to do, how to behave, how to deal with the loss.

And Hira-Void, had taken advantage of that, of a scared and grieving young girl who wanted a peaceful world where everyone could smile without fear. It had taken her wishes and twisted them to fit it's own sick ideals, using the fact that Hira had been a friend of her late mother to worm her way inside her head, nubling her judgement with venomous words that slowly poisoned her mind.

It made him sick to his stomach.

With what little strength he had, he rummaged through his pocket, finding a little device and holding it tight in his fist, the small tracker that was connected to Shay, who was -hopefully- still unloading crates on the secret lab where Void's lair was. He sent a silent apology to Hunk for doing this, but it was a last resort, a gamble, he wanted to trust on the bond that had once united Allura and the team, wanted to believe that it could still be saved.

His tongue felt glued to his mouth, chest hurting with how swallow his breaths were becoming, but he gathered all the life left in him, all his hope, and spoke.

"This...is...link'd..to the....lab...go there....an..search for...answr'.....sectn' 340..C..." He couldn't hold his hand up any longer, and thought for a terrifying second that she wouldn't take it and just walk away, ready to murder his friends. His arm cramped, feeling like it weighted tons, it fell, but, before it touched the ground, callused hands held his own, and the device was pried out of his pliant fingers with ease, the sound of feet shuffling too loud in his tired mind.

"I do not know why I'm doing this...I finally have revenge right before my eyes, in reach of my hands....and I do not have the energy to go through with it....father would be ashamed of me." He wanted ro shake his head, deny her words, but everything was grey and muted and sleep was claiming him, closing in on him at rapid speeds.

"This might have been a ruse, your words might be false and nothing but empty accusations. But I've never seen a dying creature say nothing but the truth, in the face of death, all men are equal, all confess their sins in hopes of relieving their guilt before they pass. And I....I can only but see this through, if this is your last wish.....I will see where it leads, Altean's honor compels me to do so, I haven't forgotten Mother's teachings...." Echoing footsteps and screams suddenly shrouded the hallway, and he felt the floor vibrate with the strength of their stomping, getting closer by the second.

"They have come for you." Through his fading consciousness, he could feel her struggling to stay, to face the person she'd wanted to find for so long and take out all her anger and pain on him, let her emotions loose and her contained anguish lash at him, let relief come.

But it seemed her honor as an Altean, her given word, the seed of doubt sprouting on her heart, held more value to her than her immediate revenge, and he heard as her armor clinked while she walked away, her farewell too soft to be heard by anyone but him.

"May your soul find solace." And then she was gone. Her aura faded as she ran away and towards her ship, and he felt like he'd finally accomplished something, like a step had been taken in the right direction, like he finally did something _right_.

But everything would be for naught if he died. And the thought was enough to shake him awake, and he bit his own cheek and clenched his hands as tight as he could, praying that the pain would keep him awake, fighting the creeping darkness that stalked the edges of his conciousness.

It felt like hours -but was probably only minutes- before the footsteps that had been echoing in the distance approached, and, suddenly, hands were on his cheeks and chest, fingers on his neck and voices close by, murmuring things that reached him in pieces.

"Lance! Oh....god.....please.....stay....ke....lex!.....blood....need to..." The voice was sweet, and soft, and the aura surrounding it was warm, reminding him of fireplaces and cuddles on a couch with fluffy blankets, it's light reaching out to him tenderly, as if to cradle him.

It made him want to cry.

Around him, the noise continued on, panicked screams and yells mixing with anguished pleas and prayers, making his head pound and his heart hurt.

His body felt light and floaty and he felt like his mind was going adrift, with nothing left to anchor him to the world of the living, no sense of touch, no smell, no vision, only sound around him that was quickly turning to static, a ringing in his ears that grew louder and louder, until the only thing he heard was the thrumming of his heart as it slowed down, down.....and then-

He was suddenly cocooned and surrounded by warmth, a body against his, a promise of tomorrow, a determination to succeed, a strong will refusing to give up, a heart willing to protect.

He smiled.

Everything stopped.

Oblivion swallowed him once more.

\--

Waking up was kind of a surreal experience, but he took it well, all things considered. He was laying in some kind of...medical bed? that was closed off with a glass lid, much like the cryopods back on his world, so it was safe to assume it was one and he'd been...healing.

The thought took a while to process on his fried brain, and he hummed for a whole minute before he startled, trying to sit up only to knock his forehead on the glass and plop back down, a groan leaving his lips as he aggravated his mild headache.

He frantically gazed around, taking in his bandaged torso, hands, and the strange suit he was wearing, which was just a tight crop top and some tights that ended above his knee, whose function seemed to be to keep his modesty more than anything else. Probably designed not to interfere with the healing process too, but-

That was not important right now. He was hurt. His previous wounds were there, untouched, bleeding slightly through the white bandages as the pod did it's work. He had the cuts and bruises Allura gave him, the burn on his cheek from where he'd gotten to close to an exposed wire, and he wasn't on Hira's ship or anything of the sort so-

So....he'd survived.

He actually managed to put Allura on the right track, he convinced her to investigate Hira, to....to search for answers instead of being someone else's puppet, living in a glass castle while ignorant of everything happening behind it's walls.

He moved forward, he protected the team, he.....he did good, didn't he? He fulfilled his role, didn't he? It was okay to rest for a while....right?

Because his chest hurt with every breath and his anxiety and fear and excitement were swirling like a maelstrom inside his gut, leaving him breathless and winded like he'd just ran a marathon.

He was scared and pained and his brain just wouldn't shut up, screaming at him _'run away, they'll find out, they'll reject you, you're a monster, they won't trust anything you say'_ on repeat, making his body tremble as he shivered, terrified at their reactions, the weight of the situation still not processing.

Everything was foggy, he was just so tired, so spent -both emotionally and physically, spiritually, even- that he had nothing left to give. His ideas were a convoluted mess, he couldn't make sense of anything, he knew facts and understood motives and remembered words and events, but it was all out of order, and the cold of the cryo thingy was beginning to pull him under once more, like a powerful lullaby singing him to sleep.

His eyes closed on their own accord, and he drifted to the sound of a sweet voice singing to him -whether real or not, he wasn't sure- a comforting presence by his side that never wavered, never left, warm and bright and making him feel safe and protected and loved.

And that was enough for him.

He gave up, and succumbed to the gentle call of sleep.

*

When he woke up -again- his mind was clearer than before, and his lungs and muscles didn't hurt as much. He flexed his arms and moved his legs and let out a sigh of relief when the joints didn't burn at the strain -thank god.

He gazed around and took in his surroundings, not trusting his early assessment of them -his brain hole had been pretty much mush -does not compute and all that stuff- he tilted his head to the right and watched the white ceiling for a tick, raising his hand to knock on the glass door trapping him inside the bed.

The contraption he was in, which he was pretty sure was a healing pod, was oval and long, with a base that felt soft and comfortable, warm and kinda...squishy, and even though it was cold inside, the temperature was regulated in a way that it wasn't unbearable. This version of the pods made much more sense to him than the ones back home, and he wondered if he could ask Pidge and Hunk to tweak theirs and make them similar to these ones.....

He took a sharp intake of breath and closed his eyes tight. _Stupid_ , thinking about home when he wasn't even sure if he would be able to go back. Nubling his mind with thoughts of his friends and their smiles and hugs was the last thing he needed right now, he couldn't afford to be distracted, to lose his focus.

He still had to finish what he started.

 _Ding_.

A sound akin to a microwave finishing it's cycle echoed around him, and the lid that covered the bed opened up, allowing him to sit up and look around. His eyes swept over the room, apprehension and fear getting hold of his mind, thoughts of rejection and disgust being directed at him making him want to crawl into hole and hide.

For ten thousand years, if possible.

Those feelings were thrown out the window, though, as soon as his gaze landed on the right side of the room, and he had to contain himself not to squeal and giggle out loud, covering his mouth with his hand as he smiled from ear to ear.

Keith and Alex were cuddled on a couch close to his pod, legs intertwined and arms holding each other close, Keith's hair tangled in between them and cushions a mess, strewn around like they'd moved a lot in their sleep, restless. They were snuggling and, although they had dark circles under their eyes and their brows were slightly pinched, they looked adorable and at ease, and that was something he never thought he'd think about Keith, in any reality.

On the foot of the couch, White lay on some sort of mattress, snoring softly while his nose twitched from time to time, Matt's hair from where he was thrown over him tickling his nose as the other rested his head on White's chest, mouth slightly open and drooling. Which, okay, disgusting, but also kinda cute, since he spied White's arms holding tight on Matt's waist, keeping him close as the latter nuzzled his cheek on the crook of his neck.

Far away, on a table back on the other side of the room, he spotted Katie strewn on a chair, mouth open as she slept, dead to the world, her legs propped on the chair next to hers which was occupied by Hunk, sitting sideways and breathing loudly, or, well, loud enough that it could be heard in the silence that permeated the room.

Neither Sven nor Lotor seemed to be in the near vicinity, maybe because they left the yellow paladin to stand guard while the others.....did what, exactly? Wait until he woke up? Once in the cryopod, the healing was automated, there was no danger at all, no need to stand guard....unless...

Unless they didn't trust him anymore, unless the pod revealed his secret and they finally learnt how much of a freak he really was. Unless they were keeping watch because they wanted to interrogate him as soon as he woke up, because they didn't know if he was dangerous or if he'd been lying to them, unless they thought him a traitor.

He clutched his chest, feeling like an arrow had pierced his heart, breaths stuttering as he panted, agitated. He couldn't do this, he was not ready for this, confrontation was never his forte, and he was too scared of rejection to try and face them head on with honesty. He wasn't lying, before, he was not brave at all, he just wanted to run, and run.

Run until he could no more, and then continue to do so. He wondered for how long he could do it, how far could he go before his legs tired and his throat dried and he collapsed in a heap, all his lies flowing out like a waterfall and leaving him drained.

Vulnerable.

A continuous beeping sound brough him out of his musings, and he startled when his eyes landed on a heart monitor close by, noticing the cable connected to his left hand that informed him of his unhealthy heartbeat and quick breaths that were on the path of hyperventilation.

He ripped the device with more force than necessary, sweating bullets and cursing under his breath, the back of his hand reddening and throbbing slightly. He was quick to hold onto the edges of the bed as he maneuvered his legs to fall from the border of the machine, intent on getting up and go away, preferably to the hangars, where he could take a ship and go clear his head before nasty scenarios overwhelmed him and intrusive thoughts clouded his mind.

He stood and inwardly cheered when he didn't waver, but his joy was short lived when a dizzy spell swept over him, messing with his balance and giving him a sense of vertigo strong enough to darken his vision and lose feeling in his limbs.

He noticed too late that he was falling forward, knees giving out and arms useless at his sides, and would have had a not-so-nice meeting with the ground if strong arms hadn't managed to catch him in time.

"Now, just where do you think you're going?" His ears were ringing and he knew he was most likely panting, disoriented and confused, but he still recognized Keith's voice, soft and sweet.

He took a deep breath and clenched his eyes shut, realizing a bit too late that his 'hearing' was still active -could he ever turn it off? God, he hoped so- trying with all his might to cover his ears in a panicky frenzy and stop the onslaught of feelings that he knew would wash over him at any given moment.

He didn't want to know about his disappointment, about his fear, his disgust, his distrust, his rejection. He prefered to continue living in ignorance while believing nothing had changed instead of facing everyone's hurt gazes.

Sadly, his 'hearing' was quick and sharp, and not even a tick later he was drowning in a sea of emotion, the most prominent being-

...

Gratitude.

...

Then-

Affection. Relief. Concern. Pride. Guilt. Anger. Determination.

The emotions came and went like the tide, rushing by in a fast wave then fading into the recesses of Keith's mind, his arms coming around Lance's back and holding tight, and even tighter when ' _Determination_ ' got louder within a crescendo of ' _protect_ ', his feelings pure and honest and completely overpowering.

There was no anger directed at him, neither revulsion nor hate. Those sentiments, instead, were directed at Keith's own person as he wallowed in self-hatred, shame, guilt and the suffocating sensation that he'd somehow failed Lance. Which was stupid, since it wasn't Keith's fault, like, at all, so he didn't understand why the other was so shaken up about it.

The grip on his back softened, bringing him out of his musings, and he found himself relaxed into the embrace, completely at ease, his worries kinda soothed by the realization that maybe, just maybe, nothing was amiss, nothing had changed, and they still trusted him.

"Lance. Lance, you can't do this again, please, don't ever do this again. I- we thought for sure you were going to die." Keith put some distance between them -if an inch could be called distance- looking into his eyes and cupping his cheeks, eyes alight with worry and relief in equal parts.

"We thought we were too late to save you, that there was nothing we could do, it was a horrible realization to come to. And when I told Alex the reason why you left.....he- didn't take it well, to put it lightly." Lance flinched, guilt beginning to set in even when he didn't regret what he'd done at all, still convinced that it had been the best course of action.

"It was extremely irresponsible and dangerous of you to face Allura alone, you should have relied on us, ask for help....or did you not trust us enough to aid you?" He was about to shake his head and deny it, but Keith continued on, undeterred.

"This is _our_ world, _our_ war, you shouldn't have had to get involved in the first place, and that is our fault, a weight we will have to carry until you can safely return home. I understand wanting to help, I really do, but what you did was reckless and nearly costed you your life, and I-" Keith shook, steadying himself as he breathed in deeply, brows creased and mouth upturned in obvious pain.

"I would have never forgiven myself if you died, Alex would have been devastated, and everyone else, specially Shiro, would have had to carry with the guilt of being the reason you got involved and, consequentially, got hurt, in the first place." He felt himself tear up, not wanting to hear anymore, any previous joy he had felt being drowned by Keith's intensity.

"Your life doesn't only belong to you anymore, Lance, and however you decide to use it affects everyone around you. Each person you touched with your kindness and helped along the way will worry for you, care for you, long to see you smile once again. Please, let us be the ones protecting you this time." Acting braver than he felt, he raised his gaze that had somehow averted to the floor, and looked directly into Keith's eyes, seeing the truth in his words and the bright fire that had ignited in his aura, trying to envelop him with it's warm flames like a cocoon, protective.

After a minute, he managed to find his voice, hoarse and tight with emotion, shaking and low like a whisper, afraid to speak louder in case anyone else would wake up and corner him to talk about his stunt, wich he didn't feel like doing anymore, thanks.

"I-.....I would say I'm sorry, but I would be lying." Keith's expression morphed into one of outrage, but Lance continued before he could interrupt him, wanting to make him understand why he made his decision.

"I know Alex is strong, I really do, but Allura....she was on a whole different level, she was the perfect soldier, no openings, no gaps, no chance at victory. I knew she would have killed him without a second thought as soon as they crossed, and I knew he would have gladly let her do so if it was to protect you all." The other shuddered, his tremors shaking his body as he blanched, tearing up slightly like he was going to cry.

He closed his eyes and took a swallow breath, then looked at Lance with a sorrowful smile that exuded defeat and frustration.

"That's something that, unfortunately, you seem to have in common." He averted his gaze, trying to avoid looking at Keith's face and watch the extent of the damage he'd caused. He was used to being the caretaker, the one that made sure everyone else was in top form, healthy and happy and stress free, always listening to their problems and providing solutions or alternatives.

He was accustomed to deal with things on his own and not ask for help until the situation devolved into something he could no longer handle, always doing his best not to be a burden and provide support and encouragement when needed.

This time was no different.

He hesitated for a tick before speaking, reminiscing for a tick his homeworld and his teammates, realizing just how much he missed them and their voices, faces, their auras and presences. He bit his lip and tried not to whimper, feeling like he would break if he stayed within those memories for too long. It hurt too much to think about his predicament.

And that was precisely why he'd focused on the task of helping this voltron and this world reach their happy ending, throwing all his efforts and energy into the task so he could distract himself from the crushing reality that he was, most likely, never going to see any of them ever again.

He tried really hard not to think about that.

Ignore it and it will go away, they say.

That was a lie.

Those thoughts were always creeping on the edge of his mind, ready to pounce on him and tear him apart, break his walls and reduce him to a sobbing mess crying for his mom and his friends and his _home_. He had to fight his damned best to keep them at bay, but his energy was dwindling and he was so tired, it was getting increasingly harder and harder to keep his barriers up.

Still, he didn't want to disappoint Blue, and , as silly as it might sound, he didn't want to let Alex down, or Keith either, he really wanted to succeed.

For once, he wanted to be the hero.

He clenched his jaw and looked up into Keith's eyes, trying to be as honest as possible.

"Keith....I-I'm trapped here for now, indefinitely, maybe forever, I don't even know if I'll ever be able to......go back or contact them or anything. But you guys have a bright future ahead, you are happy together and have a life that you want to share and spend with each other. I just...I wanted to protect that, I didnt want him to make a mistake that would be impossible to undo, I didn't want him to make a pointless sacrifice." Keith shook his head, anger flooding his aura and seeping from his every pore, lighting his fire like a flare.

"And what about _you_? Weren't you a pointless sacrifice, too? You had no right to make that decision for us like...like it didn't matter! So what if you're stuck here for now? That doesn't make your life any less valuable or more expendable! You have worth! Every living being has purpose! Every creature is deserving of love and life and has _value_. And I don't understand why you thought yours was determined by how much you could help us or this world." Lance's breath hitched and he bowed his head, ashamed of the tears pooling in his eyes that he was trying his best to hold back, overwhelmed by emotion and relief and hope, someone finally telling him something that he'd always wanted to hear.

_'You are enough, you are valid, you have worth, you are loved.'_

Hands ran through his hair and soothed him as he silently wept, tender.

"You don't have to try so hard, Lance, it's okay, it's enough, you've done more than enough. It's okay to rest once in a while, it's okay to be hurting and suffering, it doesn't make you weak or incapable, it makes you _human_. The most important thing is that you know you don't have to go through it alone, that you ask for help. There will always be someone that cares for you ready to hold your hand, you only have to look around and _see_." Keith's words seemed to unravel something in him, like a curtain being pulled back, allowing him to see the extent of the beauty before him that had been previously hidden from his eyes.

It was like waking up, like taking a breath for the first time, like a weight being lifted, it felt like a fresh start. And he realized, for the first time since this whole mess started, that maybe, hiding everything from those he was supposed to trust was not the best way to bond or have them reciprocate that faith.

Because, if he couldn't believe in them, what reason did they have to believe in him? Trust goes both ways, and he felt silly for not realizing this before, wondering if things might have been less painful if he confessed his problems.

That didn't mean that his anxiety about telling anyone was completely gone, though, it doesn't work like that, he was still scared and nervous, and it would take some time for him to gather his courage and actually do it, but.... But he was more willing to try now, he had to believe that his teammates would understand, that they would never shun him for something like this, that they would help him and worry and find a way to end his predicament.

He desperately wished they could.

He sniffed and giggled softly, eyes fixated on one of Keith's curls. "Thanks...I guess, I.....I didn't know I needed that." Keith's breathy laugh rumbled on his chest, and he could feel it from how close they were, the other still brushing his hair away and holding him like he would break or run away, the latter still being the most plausible.

"Yes, I figured. After you were put on the cryopod, I had a veeery long, veeery intense talk with Alex, cleared some things up and managed to pry his demons out of him so we could face them, together. It wasn't fun, and it wasn't pretty, but we came out of it stronger than before, and I finally managed to get through him and make him spew out his insecurities and fears." Keith spoke with such fondness and tenderness that it was impossible for him not to smile, putting some distance between them to sit on the edge of the cryo bed as he stretched, glad to see his muscles weren't stiff or overly hurt.

He looked down at himself and froze for a moment before he blushed all the way to the tips of his ears, clearing his throat as he asked the Altean about his clothes.

"Oh, the costume you wore was totaled, so we threw it in the trash, your paladin suit is on that closet over there. You'll have to wear that until we synthesise something, sorry." He thanked him and ran towards the left side of the room, standing behind some curtain like appliance as he changed, chatting with Keith as he did so. While they were talking, however, the rest of the team woke up one by one, and they soon started asking about him and his health.

Hunk was understanding but also kind of pissed -which was scary- and he ripped Lance a new one even through the screen as Pidge cheered for him, adding her two cents and threatening to freeze him into stasis if he ever tried to pull another stunt like this one. White and Matt were furious, but in a parent-like way, mixing concern with anger and hurt and the usual ' _I'm not mad, just disappointed'_ speech, but they let him know just how worried they had been and how glad they were that he was alive and okay.

He finished putting on his armour, and walked out just in time to be pinned to the spot by Alex's piercing glare, which made him gulp and brought to the surface his impulse to run and hide, preferably in the next five ticks.

"Uhhh...." Eloquent, really, he was on a roll today.

"You -Alex pointed at him, eyes heated and narrow- have some explaining to do, mister." Keith lightly smacked his lover on the back of the head, muttering about ' _patience_ ' and _'consideration'_ among other things he didn't manage to hear. A tick later, everyone moved to the side of the med bay that had couches and sat down one by one, except Alex, who didnt take his eyes away from him, arms crossed and expression tight.

He shuddered and walked towards them, feeling like a man going to the gallows, his throat dry and his hands sweaty, feeling anxious and kind of, you know, terrified. He decided to sit besides Keith, who had been -by far- the most understanding and kind of them all, maybe because he had a soft spot for Lance, or maybe because he understood where his fears and recklessness came from.

But whatever the reason, he felt more grounded in close proximity to the Altean, his nervousness faded away -slowly, but surely- and he was able to breathe and find enough balance that he could speak his mind without freezing up or doubting.

From the corner of his eye, he spied Alex walking closer, but he never sat, never stopped being tense and strung like a chord, ready to snap at the slightest tug. He seemed displeased and more than a little angered, face perpetually stuck in a frown as he glared daggers at Lance, who was extremely uncomfortable and ready to bolt from the pressure of his scowl.

The tension continued to pile up until Keith groaned and sighed loudly, visibly frustrated.

"Alex, just say what you've got to say and stop being childish." Lance startled when Keith spoke, voice loud and cutting admist the heavy silence that had shrouded them, his teammates fidgeting and looking from one to the other, unsure. The Altean was looking at Alex with fondness and exasperation, urging him with his eyes to go ahead and do....whatever he was going to do.

Roast Lance, most likely.

"Okay....okay." The black paladin took a deep breath and focused his eyes on him, determination seeping from his words, mixed with guilt, affection, regret, fear, worry.....and a wide range of emotions that swirled inside his mind and prevented Lance from discerning too much. Alex was good at hiding, just like he was, it was kind of sad that that was a trait they both shared, he was sure it caused more trouble than it was worth.

"Lance -he locked eyes with Alex- I-....I'm sorry." A whine like a question left his lips, but before he could utter another sound, the other continued. " I'm sorry that you found yourself forced to act this way and...take matters in your own hands because of my rashness. I wasn't thinking clearly when I made my decision, I was.....tired from being on edge for so long, everyday, and scared to lose everything I've ever held dear. I made a mistake, and you suffered because of it." Lance opened and closed his mouth like a fish out of water, not knowing how to answer or what to say, he had expected a lecture, inquiring about his...condition, anger, even.

But certainly not an apology, not when he'd acted on his own free will. His actions were his own responsibility and no one else's, he chose his path with everything it entailed, and even if it had been dangerous and suicidal -in a way- he didn't regret it. He knew he'd done what needed to be done, the fate of the universe had been at stake -still was-, and he didn't have time to dwell on the dangers of his stunts, Void wasn't going to wait for them to be organized and ready, he was merciless and cruel, and needed to be stopped.

"You shouldn't have been forced to risk your life for something that had nothing to do with you -he looked up and into Alex's eyes, right in front of him- I know you said Blue brought you here to help, but...I never wanted you to get involved to this point, I hate it when people get hurt because of me, and this time....it was my fault, this is all on me. I hope you can forgive me, Lance." He stared, awed and dumbfounded, he felt like crying.

Alex's feelings were honest and sincere, he was swimming in a sea of desperation, trying not to drown with the weight of his responsibilities and the overwhelming fear of not being able to protect what he loved.

He was trying his best to stay strong for his teammates, to act as leader, but he was hurting, too, he was afraid and had doubts and sometimes wondered if he was fit to be a leader at all. He felt guilty about Allura, he couldn't help but think that everything had been _his_ fault, that everyone would be happier if he had never acted in the first place, or given himself up to her to stop her rampage.

He could no longer take her prosecution anymore, he was tired, and weary, he just wanted to rest.

And Lance couldn't find the words to tell him that he hadn't been wrong, that he made the best choice back then, that his actions had prevented the end of the universe, that it hadn't been his fault at all, that Void had played them all like they were disposable toys, inhuman.

He wanted to tell him that he wasn't wrong, that he was brave and strong and kind and the best leader this world could have, that it was okay to rest sometimes, that he was enough, that his efforts hadn't been in vain, that they had meaning.

Those words echoed back at him in his mind, and he realized with a start that they were the same ones that Keith had said to him -validation, understanding, support- unsurprisingly, it seemed that both him and Alex shared more traits than he'd like to admit, and he'd needed the comfort and reassurance much like Lance did.

Thankfully, it seemed that Keith got that covered, too, since he spotted a tendril of relief and warmth covering Alex's feelings of inadequacy like a blanket, soothing his aches and worries.

He couldn't hold back the smile that blossomed in his face.

"Don't worry about it, it wasn't your fault." He spoke, determined to make his other self understand that he wasn't responsible for everything that happened around him, that he had to entrust and rely on those surrounding him so as to not crash under the weight of stress.

He knew the other did that because he was exactly the same, it was something he was working on how to fix, slowly.

"I did what I thought I had to do, partly because I imagined what you were planning, partly because I wanted to...try and convince Allura to leave you alone." Alex grumbled under his breath, cursing and running a hand through his long hair.

"That was....I don't even have a word for how messed up and dangerous that was, Lance." The black paladin sat besides White, right in front of him, and he watched as the blue paladin nodded, holding hands with Matt as the other frowned.

"Yes, Allura is, not only the best soldier out there, but also the wearer of mysterious powers. She harnesses magic beyond our comprehension, wich is one of the many reasons we have never faced her head on, except that one time....." White trailed off, rubbing his robo arm slightly as Matt rested his head on his shoulder, a pained look on his face.

"Yes, the price we had to pay for thinking we could defeat her, that we could get trough her and get back our sweet and kind princess, was too high, and we resorted to fleeing and hiding after that. We gathered resources and allies and....courage, and got ready to take her empire down, since we knew, deep down, that reasoning with her was out of the question." Matt's face twisted as he spoke, his hand going to hold his knee as he bit his lip, regret and longing and anguish diminishing the shine of his aura as a wave of sadness swept over him.

"Now, don't frown so much, you'll give yourself wrinkles." White booped Matt on the brow as the other scrunched up his nose, giggling after a few ticks and swatting his hand away. "Anyway, we learnt our lesson, and, as much as we wanted to try and reach out for Allura and bring her back....it was out of our league, so we focused on taking down her empire instead." Hunk nodded from the other couch, Katie laying down and looking bored as she hummed in agreement, glancing sideways at Lance.

"Yeah -Hunk spoke- I mean, we tried everything we could think of to stop her, and nothing worked. That one time they said we faced her? Failure, complete and utter failure. It was a miracle that we didn't die, honestly speaking, and I still have nightmares about it. It was also when..." He trailed off, tenderly caressing his rock-like bracelet with a bittersweet smile on his face, shaking his head and looking straight at Lance.

"What you did was very brave, really, it was, and I- we, appreciate what you were willing to do- what you did, for us. But Allura is unstoppable, she's too powerful and skilled, she has no mercy left to give and her judgement is clouded by anger. It has been since the day Altea got destroyed."Lance bit his lip, words about lies and truths and betrayals on the tip of his tongue, fighting to flee from his mouth and reveal the horrors he knew.

"You could have died, Lance. You were really close to it, actually, so I want you to promise not to be so reckless anymore. This war had already taken too much from us -Hunk's tone was as sorrowful as his aura became, probably thinking about Shay- don't add more to the list, please." He wanted to nod, to answer an ' _I promise'_ and be sincere about it, to relieve them of the weight of his own life being on their shoulders, but....but it would be a lie.

He wasn't about to sacrifice himself, oh no. But, if he could end this, if there was a way for him to finally set this world on the correct path, he would do so without hesitation. He was already working on it, waiting to see the fruits of his labour, a sign that told him how to proceed, what action to take, he just needed to be patient, he knew this.

He could feel it, thrumming around him in tandem with his heartbeat, something had shifted, something had changed, something had begun moving and soon, it would be his turn to do the same. And he would be prepared. So with regretful eyes and a kind smile, he glanced upon Hunks pained face, and answered as sincerely as he could in that moment.

"I....I'll try." It was the best he could offer them right now, and he knew it wasn't enough. Not when Keith frowned and Alex clenched his teeth, when White gripped Matt's arm tighter than necessary and the other closed his fists in anger, not when Hunk looked ready to cry and Pidge shot up from her seat, eyes alight with a fierceness he wasn't accustomed to seeing in her youthful face.

"Okay, enough!" She shouted suddenly, startling everyone out of their misery and focusing their attention on her. "If this reckless idiot cannot protect himself, then we will do it for him, we are a team, yeah? And he's the Blue paladin, he's one of ours, same reality or not. If he can't seem to stay away from trouble, we will do our dammned best to keep him away from it." She looked pointedly at Alex and Keith, seeming to be having a conversation with their eyes alone, one he couldn't understand.

Then the rest of the team seemed to come to life with her words, murmurs of agreement filling the silence that had been stifling him, lighting up the atmosphere in the room, wich was now bright with determination, protectiveness, resolve and fire.

It burnt strong and warm, orbiting his person, reaching out for him while it seemed to create a barrier, as if it wanted to protect him from every bad thing in the world, some flames covering the other's chests in their own colors, blocking the view, as if trying to blind him to something beyond the brightness of the embers.

He narrowed his eyes.

But Katie was faster.

"Anyway, that's enough chastising for today, don't you think? There's some answers that I think you owe us, Lance, and now would be a good time to talk." He felt himself freeze and become tense and still, like a rock trying to blend in with it's surroudings. Was she talking about....? He hoped not. _Gods_ , he prayed not.

He had just come to terms with the fact that he could, maybe, possibly, most likely, be telling his team soon, as soon as he gathered up enough of his courage and entertained the idea long enough that it didn't make him want to puke as soon as he thought about it.

But he was not ready to talk about it _now_.

So not ready.

He had a feeling he would break if he let out everything.

He was barely holding himself together, and he had the terrifying foreboding that if he talked about it, it would disappear, vanish like a dream does when he wakes up. And he was not ready for that to happen yet, every failure and every possible _'what if'_ swirling in his mind like poison, whispering sweet words and awful things that made him rethink his future actions.

_'How many would have died without your redos?' 'You would be dead already.' 'Your team would have died at Kuron's hands.' 'This world's team would have died by Allura's sword.' 'This universe would have ended.' 'No one would have ever known the truth.'_

_'Only you can right the wrongs done to the universe.'_

_'You need it.'_

_'You need us.'_

The cacophony of noises and whispers grew and intensified until they overwhelmed him, panic filling his mind and breaths becoming labored and shaky as he struggled to calm down. His body shook and his eyes were wide with fright, sweat running down the back of his neck as he clutched his chest, desperate to understand the sudden onslaught of terror that had quickly and without reason taken hold of his being.

He couldn't give them what they were asking for. He just couldn't.

Just the mere idea of doing it cut his airways and squeezed his heart in a vice, making him incapable of rational thought as his heart beat twice it's rate, chest tight and mind muddled, unfocused and hazy but always coming back to the same unwavering thought.

_'Do not tell.'_

Gulping in a swallow breath, he hugged himself and ran his hands up and down his arms, trying to will away the sudden chill that left him cold and shivering, unsettled. His mind wouldn't stop murmuring a string of nonsense, too much and too quick to understand any of it. But he caught something about trust and a feeling of denial, as if telling him that there was no one he trusted enough to speak of his problem with, making him unsure, insecure.

Making him doubt.

In the end, no matter what he told Alex and Keith, no matter how much he tried to convince himself he was going to do it, regardless of how much courage he mustered, the truth was that he didn't think he could.

Not yet, at least.

His traitorous mind had won, his own voice echoing back again and again about every possible failure that could come out of his reveal, every rised brow, every upturned mouth, every displeased expression, every look of incredulity.

And it wasn't like he had given up on saying it, not really. But his determination was new and weak, like a newborn walking for the fist time. It would take time to solidify his willpower and convince his own mind that there was no danger in telling his team, that there was trust there, unbreakable bonds and strings tying them together.

He just needed time, just....a bit more of time.

"I......I'm sorry Katie.I can't....I can't tell you. Something happened back home, something that....made me like this, but, it's nothing bad, really, and I've been handling it, so....." Katie frowned, back straight as a rod as she seemed to analyze him with her eyes, displeased and a little hurt by his lack of trust in them, but still worrying as her gears turned and she came to a conclusion that she shared with everyone.

"Okay, but....does your team _know_?" He froze and tried to pass his grimace as a smile, which failed spectacularly, and he could feel every occupant of the room narrowing their eyes at him. "I'll take that as a no. You said you were ' _handling it_ ', so that means you haven't told them, have you? About whatever is troubling you, about the thing that made your body overflow with energy to the point of nearly blowing up a cryopod." He flinched and smiled, sheepish, fidgeting with the sleeves of his suit as he glanced at her through his lashes, bashful.

"Well, I...I mean, every time I've been hurt I just kinda....refused going into a crypod because I had the feeling that something would go wrong....or some finicky data would show up, so.....yeah." He heard a gasp and watched as Keith huffed, crossing his arms in a way that reminded him of his own Keith, face stony and a dismayed expression sweeping over his features.

"You say it's nothing bad or dangerous, nothing to worry about. But you refuse to tell anyone, chosing instead to deal with it all alone, even going as far as refusing treatment to keep it a secret." Keith bit his lip and narrowed his eyes even more, if that was possible.

" That sounds pretty fucking wrong to me, Lance, it cannot be healthy to keep it to yourself. And even less if it's something that altered your genetic make-up or quintessence to such an extent, that's extremely unsafe and serious. You need to tell someone so they can help you." While he spoke, his cold tone of voice had become soft and pained, filled with worry and apprehension, fear for his safety dripping from every word. And it made him feel guilty and ashamed that he was fighting tooth and nail to prevent anyone from knowing, it made it seem like he didn't have faith in anyone, like he couldn't share his burdens and troubles with the people around him.

But he was working on changing that, he really was.

He told them as much.

Keith's face softened and he smiled at Lance, expression tender and relieved after hearing him speak about his efforts to change his ways and be more open, even if it hurt. " I'm sure it will be okay, Lance. We won't pressure you to tell us, we don't mean to make you uncomfortable or nervous, but just know that we're here for you, and as long as you swear that your...conditon, is not a hazard for your health, we will leave it alone."

"We will?" Katie's shrill voice screamed from the other side, confused and disappointed.

Keith glared at her and sighed. "Yes, Katie, we will." She shrunk back and smiled, sheepish and abashed, looking apologetically at Lance and nodding her head as if agreeing with Keith. Meaning she would leave all her scientific interest and thirst for knowledge aside for his own comfort, even if it disappointed her -he could see her trying to hide her notepad and tablet discretely, but it was clear as day that she'd wanted to conduct an investigation, and now that she'd been denied, she settled for pouting and dealing with it like an adult.

Hunk seemed torn between wanting to argue and go forward and comfort him, while White and Matt looked pained and sad, like they felt his pain as their own, a feeling of compassion and sympathy traveling through his bond with White and settling in his chest.

He got the impression that the other understood his struggles, for some reason, the feeling of wanting to keep your troubles to yourself and deal with things on your own, not wanting to have people swarm you in a constant state of worry and fear, treating you as something that would break with the slightest touch.

It was too overwhelming, too much, and as much as he loved affection, touch and a healthy amount of concern, he didn't think he was capable of dealing with the whole team being constantly on edge around him. Not yet, at least. Baby steps, right? He would chose someone and...work on telling that person first, and then....he would see where he would go from there.

Another gust of sympathy and warmth reached his being, and he inwardly smiled, knowing it could only be from White. After all, their bond was the only one that was still intac-

...

Wait

Did he-.....Did he ever check?

...

He didn't. He wasn't- how could he- how was it possible that he just _forgot_? I mean, he'd been pretty frigging busy with not dying and trying to save the universe -again- but still-

He froze. More than a little hopeful and completely swarmed by yearning, he turned on his sight and, with a deep breath, glanced upon his right hand. His heart stopped, his eyes widened and teared up, and his chest constricted like all the oxygen had suddenly left the ship, leaving him gasping.

There, on his wrist, alongside the blue bracelet that swirled with the waves and connected him with White, a lime green, orange and white ones stood proudly, slightly faded and fuzzy, as if seen through a filter, but there nonetheless.

An unholy screech escaped his lips, and he was sure he received many concerned and confused looks from the others, but he couldn't care less at the moment. They weren't lost, they were not broken, they were still there, tying him to his loved ones, keeping both sides connected, making sure he was never truly alone.

Bonds.

He couldnt have kept the tears at bay even if he'd tried. Pidge's bracelet was slightly wilted, but the green light still shone brightly and fiercely, always thriving, always surviving, a force of nature. Hunk's was cracked in some places, the soil dry and sand graying, but still sturdy and immovable, lasting through harsh conditions, always present, the earth.

And then.....then....the new one caught his attention and he gulped back a sob that threatened to unravel, his left hand shakily touching the quintessence ring, feeling the smooth surface and how warm it was to the touch, shining like silver and lit up like the moon, it's light comforting and familiar, exuding affection and love.

Allura's.

It was incomplete, the loop around his wrist not yet finished, and it looked like parts of it were dissolving into space dust, glittering with all the colors of the rainbow as they disappeared. It was new and tentative, fragile and delicate but so, so beautiful.

A ray of hope.

He noticed that the bonds didn't led anywhere, not like White's, whose string was attached to his own wrist, since they were in the same room. The others were, instead, disappearing into thin air half-way trough their strings, leading nowhere because the other end of the bonds he carried was worlds away, behind a gate that no longer existed.

They were frail, weakening and hazy, but they were there, carrying with them faint traces of worry, affection, longing, and whispers of feelings about missing someone. He let them swirl inside his mind and relished on the echoes of their warmth, knowing what they meant, what they entailed.

He still had a chance, his bonds with his team hadn't been severed, hadn't vanished, he had never been alone, not really. And the thought that he was still connected to his loved ones on a molecular level made a fire ignite inside his chest, filling him with determination and a fierce desire to not give up.

Now more than ever, he was sure he could go back.

He _would_ go back.

They were waiting for him. They believed in him.

And he wouldn't let them down.

He stood up so abruptly he got dizzy, but he whirled around, uncaring, and sought Alex with his eyes, frantic and jittery, whole body shaking with anticipation as he walked, unsteady, towards his other half. He saw from the corner of his eyes as Keith hovered by his side, expression tight and distressed as he fretted, not knowing what to do with his hands, wich ended up resting on Lance's back when he finally stood a few feet before Alex.

"Alex, do you now where my communicator went?" Alex blinked, obviously confused. " I think there's.....I think I can go back home, somehow. I have no idea how to do it or what to do, like, at all, but I have a feeling I can find a way. But for that, I have to talk with Slav, so I need you guys to give me his contact number and, my comm? Because I really don't know where it is." Alex seemed to blanch, parlor paling as he shifted his stance, feet shuffling and hands fidgeting in a clear, unconscious act that ran alarm bells in Lance's brain.

Sign number one.

He narrowed his eyes and looked at Katie next, once again asking for his comm device.

"Ehh? No idea, I think it got turned into space trash when you fought Allura, so maybe we threw it down the garbage chute." She shrugged, nonchalant. "I mean, we have enough scrapped metal as it is, we don't need more stuff laying around and wasting space, right Hunk?" She deflected -sign number two-, and Hunk froze before smiling - fake, so fake- nodding his head and agreeing with her, but never talking -sign number three-, Matt clearing his throat before taking his turn at telling him the wretched destiny his comms had suffered, ending in their ultimate demise.

"Yes, I can lend you mine while Katie builds you a new one, I think I have Slav's number in there." He spoke to him, but never once looked him in the eye, and White only hummed, eyes trained on the couch to Lance's left, leg bouncing up and down in a nervous tick that he couldnt stop.

And Keith....Keith was biting his lip and drawing circles on Lance's back, hand shaky as they moved over the expanse of his shoulders, expression tight and parlor even paler than normal. His other hand went to his hair and twirled the strands there once, twice, three times, he then swept it over his shoulder after he finished, his fingers traveling to his coat to play with the ends just above his bellybutton.

...

Too many signs too count.

He didn't have to be very clever to discover that they were lying to him. After talking so much about trust and believing in one's teammates and relying on people, after making sure he understood that it was okay to be honest and share his troubles with everyone. Hypocrites, much?

He could feel it now that he knew what he was looking for, everyone's auras being clouded by a dark mist that covered up their light, trying to hide from view what they didn't want to be seen, what they were keeping away from him. He didn't understand why, or what, what was so important about a single machine that it would make the whole team lie to his face?

What were they trying to prevent?

He'd just been able to catch the telltale of apprehension, concern, fear, and a fierce desire to protect, but not much else was getting through his hearing, maybe a smidge of denial and stubbornness, but nothing that he could use to discern what they were holding so tight in their clutches.

He would have to do it the traditional way, then.

He shrugged Keith's hands off him, feeling like his every touch set his nerves on fire, and tried to ignore the bout of nausea that came with the fast movement, his body still out of whack after his near death experience.

"What are you hiding from me?" Everyone averted their gaze, and if he had any doubt that they were lying, it was completely dispelled by that action alone. He felt himself grow tense as anger and hurt filled his chest, fists clenched and jaw tight as he scowled at them, mad.

"I'm serious, guys. This is ridiculous, what are you trying to cover up?" When no one answered, he growled from deep on his throat, body shaking slightly. Didn't they trust him anymore, because of the stunt he pulled? Even thought it had been to save them? Help them? Did they hate him now? Doubt him? Were they wary of him, because of his condition?

He knew, instinctively, that the answer was no.

He still felt their affection and worry, their protectiveness and anxiety. But there was something else. Someone had doubts. He could feel them, like drizzling rain falling softly over the sea, the pitter patter sounding far away and distant, each drop echoing words that eventually formed an idea that he could actually understand.

_'I think we should tell him. He deserves to know. She nearly killed him, after all. Even if it is a lie....I....I still think it's not right to ignore it. The bonds we shared.....I still believe in them.'_

The stream of words was accompanied with a fuzzy picture of the control room and one of the screens, his comm laying abandoned on the panel, glitching through interference.

He knew, without even looking, whose deep concealed emotions he'd been privy to. And who he'd been referring to. This whole ordeal had something to do with Allura, and he'd be damned if he didn't find out what it was. He'd invested too much time and effort into righting this universe and saving it to let it all go down the drain now.

There was the possibility that something had gone extremely right, that his gamble had paid off, and by god he was going to find out, even if he had the entire team against him. This was for their own good, after all, for their future.

Gulping in deep breaths, he tried to channel his fifteen year old self, who'd been superb at running long distances with the legs he'd been blessed with, and willed back the nausea and overall discomfort with sheer force of will, bending his knees slightly and tilting his body forward.

He saw the exact moment that Alex realized what he was going to do, the way his eyes widened and his mouth opened to warn someone- but Lance was faster, and he shot up like lightning, sprinting past them like the wind and leaving everyone baffled and disheveled as he ran, not looking back even once.

He barely heard the screams of his name or the way Keith shouted for someone to stop him, but it only made him run faster, his calves burning with the effort of the strain, but never once failing him. The hallways echoed with the sound of his stomping and his heavy breaths, sometimes coupled with a whirring sound of doors closing or machines working- probably Katie trying to keep him away.

But two could play that game, he knew all the nooks and crannies of the castle, the original one that was fused with the teludav and other parts used to expand it, he knew how to get to the control room even if they closed each and every door on the goddamn structure.

He had to crawl up and down vents, chutes, maintenance corridors and ceiling pipes, he had to climb and rappel and bend his body in the strangest of ways -thank god he was flexible-, but after ten minutes or so, he was able to get to his destination, jumping from an airduct right in front of the door.

He swore he could hear Katie's scream of frustration at being bested in her own terrain, and he inwardly smiled, no longer mad and filled with frustration, but actually kind of relaxed and spent, the chase had been actually kind of fun, reminded him of his siblings back home.

The dark cloud that had been weighting him down had evaporated like mist, and he was left with resolve and curiosity, something in the back of his mind tugging him forward, urging him to discover that which the team had rigorously tried to keep from him.

He strided towards the door and walked inside. As expected, the room was empty, the chairs devoid of their pilots and everything offline, everything save a small panel to the far right, the screen completely white while some wires connected it to his comms, laying innocently enough on the table, unaware of the rift it had created between the others and himself.

He approached the workplace and looked at it, wondering. He was no engineer, not on Pidge's or Hunk's level, at least, but the Garrison had drilled enough knowledge into him that he knew how to tinker with the machine to get what he wanted.

The screen lit up in light blue, the words and structure of the menu clear enough for him to interact with.

_< You have one new transmission>_

_< Play?>_

_< Yes/No>_

He clicked yes and steeled himself for what he would see, or hear, in this case, bracing himself for the worst as he remembered the reactions of the team, wondering just how bad it was, even though part of him tried to be optimistic, keep his spirits high and stuff.

The recording started playing. He stopped breathing.

_< I.....I do not know if you can hear me, I do not even know if you're alive, but if you are....gods, I hope you are, then please, please, hear my plea.>_

Heavy breathing, the sounds of footsteps and laughter filled with madness.

_< You were telling the truth,I.... I do not even know how to feel, it's as thought the ground has been pulled from under my feet, I don't know what to do. Father is alive, Bokar is alive, and Hira.....-a hitch of breath- Hira is a traitor. The things I've seen....oh deity, it makes me sick to even remember them, those...pitiful creatures, being experimented on for her own developing of knowledge, for her own pleasure....I....I never consented to any of this, I never... >_

A muffled sob, the sounds of metal being torn apart.

_< Although....I suppose I was never against it, either. I didn't pay attention to anyone or anything, I was blinded by hate and pain...thinking....selfishly thinking that I was the only one suffering, that nobody could understand me or the pain I was going through. I let myself be comforted by Hira's lies, shrouded in her embrace and the empty promises of peace she gave me. But it was never about the universe, it was never about my people or other races....it had always been about myself.>_

She laughed, broken and stuttered, whimpering.

_< She gave me an exit, a way of escaping my own misery and the hurt that I couldn't seem to vanish, she gave me a life without responsibility, a world where all the decisions seemed to be taken by me, but truthfully, were her own all along. She made me a puppet, a useless Queen that was only so in name, and I let her, I let her use me and allowed my desire for revenge to overwhelm me, because I was a coward, because I didn't want to face reality. >_

Another sob, rapid breaths, the sound of feet slapping against the metal floors.

_< What have I done. >_

Explosions, a scream, the shrill laughter that would haunt his dreams for years to come.

_< I don't know if you'll receive this, but I pray to the deities you will. I know I do not deserve it, after everything I've done, after all the pain I caused you and....and Voltron, the people I cared so deeply about. I was blind, I was stupid, now I see. I know I can't ever wish for your forgiveness, I don't belive I have a right to, but.....but.....even so... >_

A voice, dripping with malice, whispering, beckoning. More laughter, wicked, Allura's voice, panicked and scared and so small, her breaths swallow and short.

_< Even so.....please.....please help me.>_

A weep.

_< If it's you on the other end, the kind, brave soul that risked his life to make me see truth, or the team, whom I have wronged beyond belief in my mindless endeavor, in my cowardice....I leave my life in your hands. Whether your choice will be....I'll heed no resentment against any of you, I'll hold no grudge, because no words I can utter, and no apology I can muster, will ever be enough to pay for what I've done. >_

A giggle, dark, somber. Allura's voice, now filled with determination, resigned albeit hopeful, strong and beautiful as he remembered, finally free of those shackles that had tied her to a weight that was not hers to carry, light shining and dispelling the shadows that had blinded her for so long.

A smile, honest and warm that he pictured in his mind, brought tears to his eyes that fell without respite as he listened to the last words he would hear from the Queen.

_< Long live Voltron. May we see each other once more, may I be granted the chance of righting the wrongs I brought to this world, before leaving it. If we don't ever find one another...I....I wish you all the happiness you deserve. If I am going down....I'll go down fighting, I will take Hira with me, even if it's the last thing I do. >_

_< Goodbye.>_

_< Transmission ended.>_

_< Coordinates received. Replay transmission?>_

He stood, unblinking, gaze focused on the words but not really seeing them, he existed on a daze, trying to wrap his mind against the onslaught of feelings and information he'd just received, feeling like his heart was going to burst out of his chest.

Allura. Had kept to her word. She was on the lab, she was in danger, Hira was pursuing her, trying to keep her from escaping, probably playing with her, a cat an a mouse, a pray and the hunter, she was trapped, she was alone.

She asked for help.

He fell to his knees, feeling so relieved and scared and hopeful but terrified, too. His emotions were a mess, his brain was mush, his body hurt from how tense he was but he didn't care, _he didn't care._

Allura had found her family, she saw the truth, she'd seen the horrible things Void had done, the experiments, the corpses, the facility.....she could no longer deny what was right before her eyes, and now that she discovered that what they tried to tell her all along was right.....

It was time to act.

Together with her, they could finally face Void and defeat it.

The team had probably thought that if he saw the recording he might go save her, they most likely didn't believe a word she said, that it was a trap, that she couldn't be trusted after everything she'd done.

But they didn't have Lance's hearing, they didn't catch the honesty, the fear and pain and regret seeping from her in waves, the hurt and hope that the bonds that had connected her to Voltron were still there, that she could still reach her hand and find someone on the other side.

But Lance did. He felt all of that.

And if the Team wasn't going to fly their asses over there and save their friend, Lance sure as hell would do it for them, there was no time for doubts, for overthinking, no takebacks.

He had to go _now_.

He had a princess to save.

Blue roared and came back to life. He smiled and held onto the string that united him and his best girl, and when the chair descended to the hangar and to the lions's bay, he jumped in like a man possessed, and boarded his lion with the force of a thousand suns.

He took off faster than he'd ever done in his life, and knew without a doubt that the Team would eventually follow. He just hoped they weren't too late. That he wasn't too late.

He prayed that, for once, the fates were kind to him.

He thought he deserved it.

 


	12. Bonds (Part 2)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Summary on Chapter 11.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Double update! The finale of the Kuron/ Alternate reality arc! Enjoy, read responsibly, take breaks and take care of yourself, the chapters are going nowhere <3
> 
> Feel free to scream at me in the comments, i'll scream back.  
> Love you all. <33
> 
> (More commentary on ch 11)

* * *

Finding the lab was easier this time around. He practically had the coordinates burned into his retinas, and he managed to dodge the space trash and chunks of rock floating around as he flew Blue towards the fortress.

His bayard had been stored in his suit -he thanked the gods for that- but, besides his own weapon, he had nothing to defend himself with, and he couldn't use Blue's spell again because their bond was extremely weakened and frail.

Which meant that as soon as he passed through the base's barrier, Void would become aware of his presence, and the sole thought gave him the chills and made goosebumps rise on his skin. He could feel it's presence creeping in on him, it's vile and malice expanding as the seconds passed by whilst dark tendrils curled around his being and lured him in.

Maybe it was a trap, maybe Void wanted to lure Voltron there to finish them once and for all. But even if it was, Lance couldn't bring himself to abandon Allura, he was incapable of leaving her alone to her fate, to face that monster that threatened all living things and desired nothing but oblivion.

He knew first hand how terrifying and sinister Void could be, how it made your skin crawl and your mind fill with white noise, how it erased everything around you and reduced your world to it's shrill voice and the eerie whispers that drilled terror into your blood.

He _knew_.

And he wasn't about to let the princess suffer in it's clutches, not if he could help it.

Because this was what he'd strived for all along, what Blue sent him to do. Changing Allura's mind was what had tipped the scales in their favor, the turning point that set this world on the path to freedom, to a brighter future.

He wasn't going to give up now. He was close, so close to ending this and finish his task, and, when he did.....-he looked at his wrist, and at the beautiful bracelets shining softly in the dim light of the cockpit-....when he did, he could find Slav and ask him about dimensional gates, about traveling through realities, about going _home._

Despite the situation he was in, he smiled, and dove Blue through a cloud of debris that had been hiding the building, the barrier pulsating at intervals and...fizzling? That was....strange, it looked like the barrier was fluctuating in an out of existence, parts of it dissolving as others were cracked and falling apart, like someone had blasted through it full force.

Maybe....Allura?

He didn't have time to ponder much over it, though, because the fortress came in sight, and Lance had to do a double take because....well, the place was wrecked, for lack of a better word. Parts of the base were throughly demolished, walls and ceilings falling apart steadily as fire lapped at the floor and broke through windows, burning everything in sight.

People ran around screaming and barking orders, Altean scientists trying to evacuate and board the emergency ships while explosions shook the place and brought everyone to their knees. He could feel how terrified and disgusted they were, awed, scared, uncomprehending, fearful- not for themselves, but for the one that meant everything to them, their light, their rock, their Queen.

They were fleeing because she had told them so, because she didn't want anymore harm to befall anyone, because she couldn't deal with being the one that caused even more pain, even more damage.

Not anymore, not after everything she'd learnt.

He needed to hurry.

He flew Blue towards the docking bay as fast as he could, and, as soon as she touched down, he was fleeing his seat, jumping down the ramp and onto the metal floors, bayard drawn and eyes narrowed, trying to pinpoint the path to follow.

Everywhere he looked, it was chaos. The base was ruined beyond repair, fire and smoke clouding his vision and clogging his lungs. He would've loved to have his helmet with him, but alas, he had little time to loiter after listening to Allura's message, he would have to make do.

There was debris everywhere and pieces of the meteorites outside the barrier were falling down, looking like -deadly- shooting stars, adding to the destruction of the place as they collided, explosions bursting every few seconds. Machinery all around seemed broken or faulty, and he spotted doors and droids stuttering errors, the cabling sizzling as sparks lit up and cracked endlessly.

Someone had made a number on the place, it was beyond salvation now.

Seeing that the coast was clear, he straightened from his crouched position and ran towards the entrance, body going on autopilot, remembering very vividly every hallway and corridor he'd traveled through the first time he sneaked in.

Inside, the alarms were blaring loudly, the sound shrill and drilling into his brain without mercy. Only red lights lit up the labs while everything else was shrouded in darkness, giving the place an eerie atmosphere and putting him on edge, his breaths loud even amongst the ruckus going on.

It was strange.

Besides the obvious creaks and the shifting of metal, the alarm and the fire, he couldn't hear anything else, and it made the hairs on the back of his neck stand on end, feeling like he was being watched, toyed with. He really wouldn't put it past Void to do something like that, it had already admitted that it liked playing with the intruders before dealing the finishing blow, and he couldn't help but feel like he was the mouse being chased by the cat.

Still, he'd come here with an obvious goal in mind, and he wasn't going to leave before he accomplished it. Taking in a deep breath, he turned on his sight, eyes roaming around in search of that pink, colorful aura that he knew would belong to Allura.

For a moment, he panicked when he couldn't find it, thinking that he'd been too late, that he'd failed her. But then he spotted it, a tiny pinprick of light struggling to stay afloat, flickering in an out and seeming ready to fade out at any second.

He growled and sprinted all the way there, bypassing labs and lounges, kitchens and storage rooms, and after what felt like hours, he turned the corner and-

There she was.

On the stairs that led to the basement.

Hanging from a step with only the void - fitting, much?- below her dangling feet, her right hand clawing at the metal while her left hung useless to her side. She was sweating up a storm, face covered in soot and dirt, bruised and bleeding in many places from what little he could see, her hair burnt and messy and barely reaching her shoulders while her face was frozen in a grimace, eyes closed tight and lip bleeding from where she'd bitten through the skin.

His breath hitched and he realized he'd stopped, inhaling loudly and breaking the moment that had seemed frozen in time, shattering the silence and prompting everything into moving once more.

He practically threw himself over the steps in his hurry, his hand clutching hers with reckless abandon, holding her wrist in a bruising grip with uncontrolled force, scared of accidentally letting her slip, that she'd fall to her death now that they were so close to the end.

Her eyes snapped open and locked with his, and he saw surprise, wonder, incredulity and a myriad of emotions in her eyes, wide and watery as they looked at him, her lips wobbling and trembling as she spoke, barely a whisper.

"You.....you're alive." It hit him like a truck, the full force of her emotions, the intensity, drowning him in a pool of unadulterated and overwhelming sensation of relief.

Relief. - _that he was alive_ \- Gratitude. - _that he'd come for her_ \- Shame. - _about everything she'd ever done_ \- Self-hate. - _for averting her eyes for so long_ \- Regret. - _for all the pain she'd caused, for all the people she'd brushed aside_ \- Sorrow. - _for all the things she couldn't take back, for all the people she'd let down_ \- Happiness - _that he was okay, that he'd reached his hand for her, that there was still someone willing to hold her back, someone that cared._

He smiled, teary eyed and gasping, and when she tentatively smiled back, unsure and ashamed and scared, he tightened his grip, remembering that she was as young as him, a young girl alone in a world without her loved ones, crumbling under the weight of responsibilities she hadn't been taught how to carry.

The pressure and the grieving and the pain had pushed her to make the wrong decisions, all while Void was whispering in her ears about treasons and betrayal and lies, straying her from the path that would have led this world to a better future.

Reaching with his left , he clasped his hands together, and with all the force he could muster, he pulled Allura up from her precarious situation, unintentionally throwing her over his own body and just laying there, trying to catch their breath, chests heaving and arms sore.

He startled when arms snaked around his neck and a face buried itself onto his shoulder, but the tremors that racked through the warm body laying over his told him all he needed to know. A wet spot soon sprung on his shoulder, and he caught the telltale of sobs escaping the princess' lips, her burnt hair tickling his face and making him want to sneeze.

"I thought...." It was so soft, he wouldn't have been able to hear it unless he'd been paying attention. "I thought no one....no one would come for me...after everything I've done....I thought I was going to die alone...that no one was going to hold my hand and pull me out...." He knew that she wasn't talking about nearly falling down a hole worth three floors length, but more about the dark space she'd been living in after her home got destroyed, a place filled with bitterness and hate, anger, grief, loneliness.

She'd been waiting for someone to pull her out of her misery, but so far, no one had managed to do it, and those awful emotions had grown and festered, the wounds never healing, and everything had piled up until she could no longer hold herself up.

But she'd never been alone, not really. Just like he wasn't.

"I....why are you here? After....." He pet her head and sat up, disentangling the both of them and looking into her eyes, trying to convey that he was being sincere.

"Because you are _our_ friend. Because I knew that Hira had been tricking you all this time. Because I knew, deep down, that you didn't want to hurt anyone. Because the team...because they still _love_ you, even though they've been hurt by you, because they believed they could make you understand that their words were sincere." She hid her head on her hands and shook, a groan of anger -towards herself- echoing on the enclosed space.

"How can they...how....after I doubted their every word, after what I did to Shiro and Matt....after what I've done to you....." She gasped and clutched her chest, gaze to the floor.

"When I came here, I....didn't know what to expect, what you wanted me to find, I just planned on making some rounds and leave, but then....I walked into her lab and...as soon as I saw f-father.....it was like a veil had been swept away. Everything was clear and sharp, and I felt the weight of everything I've ever done pour over me like acid rain." He sighed, feeling like his heart was being crushed while he watched her break, shaking and gasping softly, trying not to cry anymore.

"I couldn't believe that had been _me_ , that I allowed all those atrocities...I didn't want to..I..." Shaking her head, she straightened and sat on her knees, slowly massaging her ankles.

"I'm going to guess and say that Hira's influence got to you." It made sense, when he thought about it. Void had already brainwashed many people in a little amount of time, who's to say that he didn't do the same with Allura?

Maybe not to the same level than others - he could only assume that it had to do with her heritage, but maybe there was something else- but it was obvious that some kind of influence had blinded the princess, small enough that she didn't notice the change, big enough that the results were devastating.

Allura hummed and, bracing herself, got up from the floor, standing tall and strong, albeit wobbly and clearly tired. She averted her eyes and focused on the giant hole a few feet behind him, mouth in a tight line and brows furrowed as her hands fidgeted with the hem of her shirt. He'd just noticed that her armor was completely gone when she spoke once more, voice tight with emotion, hoarse and raspy, like it was taking all her strength to talk.

"That may be so, but that doesn't mean I don't have to take responsiblity for it. I took part on the events that transpired. I was hurting, and so I wanted to hurt others in retaliation, trying to drown the pain I was feeling. She might have played with my mind, but it was my anger that let her do so in the first place, I was weak, and she took advantage of that." Allura extended her hand towards him, and he took it without hesitation, standing up and dusting his clothes before drawing his bayard, surveying the area around them for any signs of danger.

Oddly enough, no noise was still heard beside the obvious ones, and the lights were still off, the only glow lighting up the room being the emergency lamps and the soft shine that seemed to radiate from Allura's pendant, the same one that had allowed her to teleport when they fought.

He blinked, and wondered, for a tick, why she hadn't used those powers to escape, he knew that that magic item or whatever would have been enough to, at least, stall Hira long enough to make a run for it, if not board a pod and fly away.

"Hey, Allura -she looked at him- why didn't you use that thingy to get the heck away from here?" He pointed to the jewel, focusing on it and it's design. A small squared blue stone was at the center of it, it's color so dark it looked black, surrounded by silver bands that caged it on a circle while a golden piece wrapped around it horizontally, the Voltron symbol on the front. That was curious.

"Ah.....- The princess glanced down at it and took it in between her palms- This...my father made it for me...I....I don't really know how it works, if I'm being honest. It's energy fluctuates on an off and I cannot actually control it at will. There's been a few times that it's powers have activated, but those are far and few between, and I haven't managed to unlock it's secrets yet.....not that I have actively tried, either." Her eyes softened and she caressed the jewel tenderly, the light it was emitting warm and beckoning, radiating a sensation of peace that was calming.

" I can count with my fingers how many times it has lit up like this, the first one was a few months ago, when I.....when team Voltron came looking for me and I.....I hurt Shiro and Matt with it. The stone seemed to burn after I returned to the castle, and I actually hurt my hand when I touched it. The second time was when I engaged in a fight with the lions, then the time when I fought you, and then......now." She tilted her head and let the pendant dangle from her neck once more, walking ahead of him and peeking from the corner to see if the coast was clear so they could go to the upper levels and search for her family.

"I do not comprehend it's intricate functions, but now that I think about it, it had only ever worked when in close proximity to the castle of lions....." She nodded and they both ran out of the enclosed espace and up the stairs, passing the labs once more and trekking through corridors until they arrived at a lounge, the same one where he heard those girls talk about Erias and his involvement in Hira's experiments.

"Maybe...-she spoke absent-mindedly, more to herself than to Lance, he was sure- maybe it has to do with the fact that it was made at the same time Voltron was..." He froze for a tick, something nagging on the back of his mind, pounding it's fist against his walls and screaming at him to realize, remember, the idea on the tip of his tongue but vanishing before he could fully grasp it's meaning.

He knew that it was important, but for the life of him he couldn't remember why-

And then there was a blaze of fire and he was thrown to the ground, screaming in pain and surprise. He heard Allura doing the same, cursing loudly while she screamed at.....someone?

He actually couldn't see. There was too much dust and smoke clouding his vision, and from his place face down on the floor, his vantage point was shit, and ,with his eyes tearing up and the blood dripping steadily through his eyelashes onto his left side, he was as good as blind.

A tick later, feet appeared before his line of sight, he recognized the boots as Allura's, but why she stood before him with her whole body braced for impact, he didn't know.

Until another set of footsteps appeared, that is, carrying with them the smell of decay and an air of contempt and superiority that had ringing alarm bells inside his brain, loud and familiar.

The darkness that accompanied this presence wasn't as strong as the one he expected, but he knew who had just walked in without even looking, his voice while he talked with Allura filled with disdain, arrogance, mocking, and the all encompassing feeling of being right, being pure, being justice, absolute.

"Stop right this instant, Erias! If you walk away now, I will forgive your treachery, I am sure your mind has been tampered with, too." Allura spoke with authority, her tone never wavering, but a laugh was her only answer, the sound shrill and grating his ears.

"That's where you are wrong, _Queen_." He spat the word with disgust, as if it was something vile, something that Allura was not worthy of. It pissed him off. "My mind has always been mine, Hira never had the necessity to make me do her bidding, after all..." He trailed off, a dreamy expression on his face as he sighed, blissful.

"I was always willing to do anything for her, anything for our future Queen, for the savior of the universe, the bringer of peace." He was in for a surprise, then, when he found out that his dear Hira was....space dust, basically. The only thing that remained was her body, and, deranged and insane as he might be, even Erias would give up on his quest when he discovered that his love was pretty much....dead. From the very beginning.

"Erias.....you were a good soldier, a reliable friend that my father trusted to protect his people in the off chance that war arose. Leave now, and I won't pursue you, stay, and....I will be forced to defeat you, your crimes cannot be overlooked." Lance blinked away the blood and swept his hand over his eyes, bracing himself on the floor and onto a kneeling position, watching as Allura protected him with her whole body, a sword clenched on her closed fist.

Erias smiled, eerie and overjoyed, unsettling. "Do you think you have the right to tell me that, princess?" She flinched, backing away a step. " Weren't you the one that nearly killed off Voltron? The one that conquered all those planets and subjugated their people? The one that allowed innocents to be killed in the name of _peace_? If I recall, you sentenced one of your soldiers to death because he spoke ill of your father, saying he should have never messed with the comet, that everything had been his fault." She staggered back, shame and regret pouring from every pore of her body, breath hitching as the memories seemed to overwhelm her.

"I will not deny, neither try to run from the responsibility I hold over those actions, and in due time, I will pay, with my life if necessary, for all the crimes I committed." Shoulders set and head held high, she glared at him with resolve, standing tall and regal. " But I will _not_ die until I right the wrongs that Hira's schemes caused to the universe, I _refuse_." Her aura flaring bright and colorful, she took on a fighting pose, her will never wavering as she waited for Erias to make his move.

"Pity that, princess. Your death might have been merciful if only you decided to support Hira instead of going against her wishes. It's a shame that you cannot see the greatness she means to achieve, the wonderful world she will create." From the corner of his eyes, Lance spotted the soldier's wishful face and the hand that slowly sneaked behind his back, making him narrow his eyes in suspicion.

"Why would I lend my aid to a murderer? Hira was a traitor, yes, but she was also the first victim of that....creature that now inhabits her body. The person you worship and whose ideals you believe in is long gone, the only thing that remains is an empty carcass, with nothing but never-ending darkness swirling inside of it." Lance had half a tick to react before Erias took out his gun and fired at Allura, and he barely managed to tackle her to the floor before the bullet ended up lodged on her forehead.

Both of them crashed to the ground with a loud thud to the symphony of Erias' enraged screams as background noise, his whole being shuddering with denial and anger.

"You lie! She's _here_ , she never left! Her ideals, her wish for a peaceful world, her smile, her kindness and her love! None of those things vanished when you cornered her and forced her to throw herself into the rift! Void and I will carry out her wishes and bring forth a new era, we will make her dream a reality! The happiness she desperately wanted, all her efforts, will finally come to fruition!" Lance should have been surprised that Erias knew about Void, but he wasn't, honestly, and it explained many things, like his hate for Allura and Voltron.

But it didn't explain why he acted like she was still alive while knowing that she had died back then, though...maybe he was just so far gone that he couldn't distinguish between fantasy and reality anymore.

He might think that Void was just doing what the real Hira wanted, or that her spirit still lived somehow in her body. Maybe Void had fed him lies about how Voltron and Alfor had forced Hira to suicide, or maybe he was just lying to himself, trying to live the dream that his loved one was still by his side.

Whatever the reason, Erias was definitely not in his right mind, and they needed to take him out before Void found them, because if he did....they were fucked.

Not wasting a second, he scrambled to take out his bayard and shield. and fired a stream of shots towards the soldier, watching as he dodged every single one of them with astounding ease. From below him, Allura grunted and rolled over, now face down, gaze calculating as if she was searching for a weakness they could exploit, regarding Erias with a look that seemed to analyze his every move as he danced around his shots, expertly countering while defending.

He was good, Lance could admit that. His movements were fluid and he made no useless motions, attacking efficiently while also keeping an eye on his defenses, always maintaining his distance but getting close when he knew he had a chance to strike, an opening.

He was dangerous, a well trained soldier that had the experience of a thousand battles, and no matter how much effort and enthusiasm Lance put into his assault, he couldn't measure up to that, he couldn't reach that level, he was at a disadvantage.

Until Allura swept it.

She rose from her prone position, hiding behind Lance's shield before holding his arm, steadily moving both of them towards a corner wall, whispering in his ear.

"Listen, while watching him, I remembered something about his fighting style, something father used to tell me was the only thing his instructor hadn't managed to correct in his training, a...quirk of sorts that he couldn't help." He nodded to let her know that he was listening, trying to keep up with Erias movements while not letting him leave his sight.

"When he fought his enemies, he was relentless and fierce, and very few people could match his strength and wit. But he never fatally wounded his foes, he just cornered them and hurt them enough to weaken them until they were defeated, and when that time came....When they would be lying on the ground looking helplessly up at him....he would stall for half a tick, memorize their face and pay his respects, and then he would run them through with his sword, ending their lives." Lance blinked, then frowned, wondering if Erias' insanity came from way before this, if he had been a creep even before Altea got destroyed and this was just him, upgraded and boosted.

Erias 2.0, if you will.

He knew next to nothing about Altea's traditions or battle policy, but it sounded to him like the soldier had liked to play with his prey -much like Void enjoyed doing now- and relished on the sensation of being the winner, the one looking down from above. It seemed plausible, since he had felt the other's feelings of superiority and his vanity. He wondered if Alfor had ever noticed, if he had really trusted him at all.

He told Allura this in between grunts and gunfire and the sound of metal being torn down, explosions still rocking the lab.

"I do not know. My father and brother rarely shared war affairs with me, since I was too young to deal with such matters. But from what I overheard, he didn't like the way Erias acted on the battlefield, but he couldn't remove him from the army since he hadn't done anything wrong and his achievements were numerous." She sighed, then groaned and yelped when a stray shot grazed her cheek, blood dripping slowly down her chin and to the floor.

"Enough reminiscing. I think we have a chance at tipping the balance in our favor. But....you have to trust me for this and not interfere, until the time is right." He raised an eyebrow, already dubious of her plan even without hearing it, unease settling in the pit of his stomach.

But they were cornered, hiding behind a wall and his shield, doing their best to counter enemy fire, but they were at a disadvantage.

If they left the corner they were hooded in, there was no place for them to take cover, nowhere to run, the room was too big and devoid of obstacles or structures they could use as shield, and Erias' gun was too deadly and powerful to face head on. One shot, and they probably wouldn't be able to move again.

They were at an impasse, and the clock kept ticking, any second they spent trapped there was another second that allowed Void to get closer, and he wasn't naive enough to believe he could defeat him without help.

They needed an out. And if Allura was sure she could get them one.....then, he would have to believe in her and pray to the heavens that she succeeded.

"Okay, okay." He let out a breath he'd been holding, grunting against the impact of another barrage of bullets, al of them ricocheting on his shield as he struggled to keep upright, his arms hurting with the strain.

He clicked his tongue as Erias screamed again, trying to get close only to be kept back by Lance's blasts while he glanced at Allura from the corner of his eye. " Let's go with your idea. Just tell me what the plan is and I-" She shot up from her place by his side and ran from their hiding place, making him scream her name in shock and panic, voice loud and shrill.

"Allura! What are you doing? Come back!" But she didn't. She dodged the onslaught of laser beams and debris falling around her, sword in hand, and sprinted towards the soldier with steel determination, her steps never faltering even as some shots grazed her arms and legs.

What was she doing? Was she crazy? Had she finally snapped under the pressure and fear? Erias hated her more than she hated Voltron because he thought her family was responsible for the death of his lover. Running straight towards him was asking for murder, a suicide mission, just....what was she thinking?

God, he felt like he was going to faint or have a panic attack or just _die._ He'd worked too hard and endured a whole lot of _bad things_ ™  to reach the ending he wanted for this world, and he was close, so close.....only for Allura to go ahead and put everything in jeopardy. 

He didn't know what he was going to do if she got hurt or...or worse....he felt like he was going to have a heart attack, or puke, or both.

He watched, enthralled, as she fearlessly stopped a few feet before him, Erias stopping his assault, bewildered, but aiming his weapon to her forehead. He could see, even from such distance, the way his fingers itched to pull the trigger, and the way he held himself back, seeming to urge Allura to speak her mind. And she did, her voice carrying over to where he was still crouched down along a wave of determination and trust.

"Erias, I challenge you to a duel. One on one, traditional Altean style, no interference, no running away. Let's end this once and for all." Erias narrowed his eyes in distrust, weapon at the ready as he seemed to ponder his options, and for a terrifying moment, Lance thought he would just pull the trigger and be done with it, which would have been the smartest decision.

But then, Allura's words about Erias' sadistic streak and his need to feel superior smacked him in the face, and he felt like physically slapping himself to match his mental state, which was, mostly _'How could you forget_ '. The Altean soldier had some...quirks and tendencies that Alfor had discussed with his superiors and were frowned upon, but ultimately not addressed, since he'd never actually broken the law.

Allura had wanted to use his own peculiarities against him, and if she had been referring to that as his weakness then.....she was planning to....

Erias' finger left the trigger, and he put his gun into it's holster, his hand going behind his back and bringing forth a broadsword that shone a dark blue, almost black, in the dim lighting that bathed the wide empty space of the drawing room.

"You believe you can defeat _me?_ In a battle of swords? You are more naive than I thought, princess, you know first hand my level of expertise in this area, I was the best swordsman on Altea, unrivaled by any other. And yet, you dare defy me on my own terrain. If you have a death wish, then so be it, I will gladly impart justice upon your corrupt soul." He took on a fighting stance, and Allura did the same, muscles taut and body tense.

For a long -seemingly eternal- tick, no one moved, Lance didn't even know if he was breathing, and his eyes were so wide and he'd been so long without blinking that they were tearing up with the strain.

And then a metal beam fell from the ceiling.

Both of them moved at the same time.

Their swords met, and they collided, sparks flying as the metals clashed time and time again in a flurry of movement too fast to be seen. Allura was relentless in her assault, she hacked at him again and again, from every angle, changing her approach and the force put in every strike, trying to get past the iron defense that was Erias' immovable block.

Lance was tempted to join in on the fray, take advantage of the soldier's distraction and snipe at him or blast him away or something, his worry for Allura eating up at him, feeling useless and on edge for not helping. But when he shifted -unconsciously- to try and carry out his ideas, no matter how tiny the movement, Erias' eyes would zero in on him while he still parried Allura's every blow with terrifying ease, daring him to try.

He froze on the spot, and the hand that had been ready to aim his bayard fell to his side, limp. He had the feeling that if he so much as tried to lend a hand or move from the spot he was in, Erias would not hesitate to open a hole on his forehead. It felt like he was a mouse being stalked by a snake, ready to eat him up at the slightest mistake.

It was evident that Erias was talented, that he far surpassed both him and Allura in combat and that, even thought it looked like he was wholly focused on the princess and their duel, if Lance so much as breathed in their direction, if he advanced the slightest of distances, he was as good as dead, he was always on the soldier's radar. He was never forgotten, but rather, ignored in favor of paying attention to the thing that kept his interest peaked.

It meant he was unable to act, invisible chains holding him down where he stood.

And as much as it hurt and worried him to just watch, Allura had said to trust her, to not interfere until the time was right.....and it looked like, for now, he didn't have a choice. He would have to wait.

And so he did.

He watched as Allura jumped and swept down, slashing vertically and twirling around, her sword nicking Erias' cheek, swallow, and he retaliated with a heavy blow of his own, bringing down his weapon with quick stroke that the princess barely managed to block, her knees bending with the strain of withstanding the force behind the strike.

She huffed and brough up her leg -jesus she was flexible- kicking her enemy on the elbow and throwing off his stance, jumping back to gain a precious feet of distance between them. But she didn't have time to regain her breath, because the other was upon her in an instant, cutting down while she sidestepped and then throwing his sword to his other hand and doing the same diagonally, catching the princess on the chest and making her yelp.

Lance bit his nails, and he felt his skin crawling, whole body thrumming with the need to go out there and do _something_ , anything to prevent Allura from getting hurt. His knee bounced up and down and his breaths were short and labored, like he'd been the one fighting for his life and not sitting there on a corner, relatively safe and out of harms way.

He was getting anxious and nauseous, and his heart felt like it was going to burst out of his chest. His blood was boiling and his eyes hurt from being wide open for so long and he was shaking and ready to bolt if this continued for much longer-

Allura fell.

Her sword clattered to the ground.

Erias stood above her, weapon pointed at her throat and expression joyous, eyes half moons as a satisfied smile stretched his cheeks and showed his teeth, making him look sinister and haughty. He looked so pleased with himself, so sure that he'd won, so utterly and completely content, that the world around him didn't seem to affect him anymore, the noises, the pieces of the ceiling that fell close to him, the fire licking at his skin.....

Lance gasped, and Allura's words came back to him.

_But he never fatally wounded his foes, he just cornered them and hurt them enough to weaken them until they were defeated, and when that time came....When they would be lying on the ground looking helplessly up at him....he would stall for half a tick, memorize their face and pay his respects, and then he would run them through with his sword, ending their lives._

He moved.

Erias was so absorbed in his own little world, his moment of dominance, the proof that he was strong and his enemy was _weak_ , that he never saw it coming when Lance aimed at him with practiced ease, never heard when his bayard went off and through his chest, never felt the blood slowly dripping from his lips or the hole on his heart.

And he never had the chance to realize, because he fell backwards, dead, never to wake again, defeated by his own desire to relish on the loss of others.

Lance let out a breath he'd been holding and fell to his knees, shaking like a leaf and feeling like he'd aged ten years in the short time that the battle had lasted. A groan close by made him raise his head, and he saw Allura sit up, briefly glancing at the dead soldier before limping towards Lance's location.

But he was faster, he jumped and ran towards her, intent on helping her stand or patch up her wounds at least, but she shook her head before he could say something.

"We need to go. Father....we....I need to rescue father and brother before the building caves in completely, I need to get to the lab before it is too late." Biting her lip, she locked gazed with him, hopeful.

"Will you help me? I know...I, I know I have no right to ask for this, but it is not for me, my father and brother are innocent, they've never hurt anyone, they....they do not deserve to die like this...." She trailed off, tearing up and looking to the side, clearly uncomfortable and pained, in more ways than one.

And what else was he supposed to say but yes? She had already suffered enough, and she would have to carry the weight and the guilt of her crimes for as long as she lived. Her life would probably never be easy, there would be a lot of hate and resentment and anger, and happiness might become something fleeting and elusive.

She would have to overcome many difficulties and challenges, and the pressure might become too much for her. Giving up would probably cross her mind, crying and blaming Hira for her fate would most likely happen, she would be remorseful and feel disgusting and lonely and it would seem that her life had become joyless.

Her future would probably be filled with sorrow and heartache, and even tough he knew she didn't deserve it, she still had to answer for her actions, the people would want to blame someone, and, sadly, that someone would end up being her. She had a hard road ahead of her, and losing her family now that she found they were still alive....he refused to add to her sadness, her loved ones didn't deserve to die without them at least giving a try at rescuing them first.

It was dangerous, _yes_.

They shouldn't be doing it.

Void could catch up to them any second now.

The base was gonna explode soon and take everything inside along with it.

But he'd be damned if he didn't try his best to reunite a family that had been forced to separate to fulfill the selfish desires of a deranged being.

So he stretched his hand towards her, smiled softly, and hoped that his eyes conveyed his emotions and his determination.

"Led the way, princess."

The grateful smile he received in return was worth every hardship he'd had to endure.

\--

Arriving at Hira's lab gave him the creeps. Chills ran down his spine and he was sweating up a storm. It was like his body was telling him to run away, that this place was as dangerous as it gets, like it remembered the trauma and the pain, and the feeling of Void's dark dripping aura and it's tendrils sneaking around his body, depriving him of warmth and light.

Just thinking about it made him want to puke, and his mind reeled when he tried to step inside the room, his feet refusing to obey, frozen to the spot by the primal fear that took hold of his heart and squeezed, like alarm sirens screaming at him to back up, turn around, and never look back.

Sadly, his stubbornness usually wins, and he ignored every warning signal to, instead, walk ahead and into the lab from last time, gaping slightly when he saw that none of the machines were inside, leaving instead an empty wide space with only the two cryopods still online.

Weird.

Looking at the floor, he noticed a variety of scrap metal and broken pieces strewn all around, and concluded that most of the machinery there must have been destroyed in the fight Allura previously had. And that, coupled with the decaying of the building, had probably left the room as it was.

His body still felt kind of jittery, and his mind was all over the place, like this thoughts were going a mile per hour and he couldn't focus on a single one, and even Blue, who had woken up in light of recent events to aid him, seemed far away and out of reach.

Their bond was still kind of severed, felt wrong and shaky, and he couldn't hear her voice anymore, everything was out of whack, and he couldn't even trust his own mind anymore, seeing that this world was intent on erasing him and his memories, making him forget things for seemingly no reason.

So he concentrated on what he could see, what he had before his eyes, wait until the raging storm in his mind calmed down so he could _think_.

Allura had run to the pods as soon as they had entered, fearless and determined, and she was now tinkering with the machinery, letting out frustrated groans and curses as the devices beeped and dinged, but ultimately never opened. He approached with caution as to not startle her, and gazed upon the sleeping faces of her family and then the rapidly deteriorating state of the room, knowing it could fall over them any second.

They needed to go.

"What's wrong, Allura?" She growled and punched the glass, her voice tight with anger as she spoke.

"I don't know what Hira has done to the pods, but they are rejecting every command I try to input! I cannot find a way to open them, and breaking the machine to release them equals death! They are linked together, if I cut the connection so harshly, their minds could be lost forever, they need to wake up through the normal process, but it's not letting me do that." She ran a had through her hair, frustrated and sorrowful, and Lance wanted to reassure her, someway, to help.

But there was nothing he could do, he knew next to nothing about Altean science or technology, he was pretty much useless as of now.

What he knew, though, was that time was running out, and they needed to get out soon.

"Allura, we can't stay here for much longer, we need to go. This place is going to go to hell in a matter of minutes and every second we spend here is a second closer to death. I know you want to save them, I do, too, but we might not have a choice but to get them out forcefully and pray for the best." She bit her lip, and he felt guilty for pressuring her in this situation, but they've come too far to give up now, he was determined to get both of them out of this alive, and it's not like he wanted to sacrifice anyone for it but.....maybe there wasn't another way.

"A dobosh, just...give me a minute, I know there is a way to override the system, I know it, I just need to think. _Please_." The way she pleaded and begged to him broke his heart, they had no time for this and they both knew it. They had come with the idea of saving her family and then get out, but Lance knew that Alfor and Bokar wouldn't have wanted Allura to die for them, that they would have wanted for her to survive, to live. And he was ready to carry the weight of their lives if it meant that he could protect their beloved daughter and sister, their universe.

"A minute, Allura, no more. We can't stay longer than that, Hira could be-"

"Ohhhhh? Did someone say my name?" A chill like iced water being poured over him froze him to the bone and cut his breath short, the dark tendrils of Void's wicked presence drowning the room and shrouding everything in that foul aura that made him nauseous.

He couldn't move, couldn't think.

But he felt -more than he saw- the energy gathering on the other end of the room, ready to launch, and he was whirling around before he could think twice about it, raising his bayard and shifting it to his rifle form, trying to block the onslaught of power that knocked him off his feet and threw him to the opposite wall, his back making a broken sound as it impacted with the metal.

He fell in a heap, knocking his head on the floor with a thud, leaving him dizzy and disoriented and hurt. His ribs burnt, his back ached, his limbs were strewn around him uselessly and his vision was wobbly and red. Through his haze, he tried to pinpoint where Void was, were Allura was, but he could barely distinguish their silhouettes, let alone what was happening, so he focused on their auras instead, no matter how much Void's suffocated him and made him gag.

He was standing in front of Allura, ten feet ahead of her, his hand stretched out before him as dark mist gathered around it, foul and swirling with malice, thrumming and pulsating like it was going to burst any second now.

"Foolish princess. Even now, when you could have run and save yourself, you decided to stay to rescue your family. Such weakness is going to be your downfall, you were doomed the moment you chose to stay in my domain." The energy crackled with thunder, sparks lighting up and illuminating the dark aura that expanded more and more as they talked.

"This is the end, princess. You could save nothing, change nothing, every action you've taken wasn't even your own, no peace has been achieved and no revenge attained, since there was none to begin with. Die knowing you were a traitor to those you loved, the people that believed in you, and the universe." The pressure in the room got unbearable, the air so thin it hurt to breathe, and no matter how much he tried to scream, to tell her to run, his voice was gone, he couldn't see.

And then Void laughed, the sound shrill and grating to his ears, feeling like his eardrums were going to burst and bleed, echoing time and time again in a painful loop that nearly made him faint.

"Die knowing everything you've ever done was useless!" The pressure suffocated him, and through his haze he heard a sob, an attempt at an apology, and Lance raised his hand, reaching for her, tears falling down his cheeks, murmuring words of denial and frustration.

Void's aura expanded, the energy pulsated once, breaking free, and then-

White.

...

He gaped and coughed up a storm as the weight in his lungs disappeared, and through his teary, bloodied gaze, watched as White struck Void with his bayard, propelling him through the air and towards the far end of the room, where he crashed on the wall and fell in a heap.

_What....?_

"Lance!" He turned his head, still on the floor, and saw Keith running towards him as Katie strided onwards to the pods, her gaze determined and full of fire. A tick later, and the red paladin was kneeling besides him, hands on his shoulders and back, cradling him softly while a worried look crossed his features, clearly mad.

"What were you thinking, going off alone like this? Throwing yourself headfirst into danger? We talked about this!" Lance tried and failed to keep the smile off his face, happy that he'd been right, that no matter how much the team disagreed on something, they would always come together to help someone in need.

He was sure they would have come help Allura in the end anyways, but the problem had been that time was short, no time to think, to decide, to weight the pros and cons and whether it might of been a trap or not.

Allura had needed him then, and he'd taken the decision for them, knowing they would eventually follow. He just....gave them a slight shove, so to say.

"S'rry, when I saw the video...I knew she was g'nna die if I didn't come. There was no time to hesitate, her life was on the line, and I knew what Void was capable of." Keith brushed his bangs away with a frustrated sigh, wiping the blood away and letting him finally see. The red paladin was donning his armor -as were the rest of the paladins- and his hair was put into a ponytail, his helmet laying a few feet to his side.

Near the pods, Katie was tinkering with them with the help of Hunk while Allura sat curled in on herself, looking at them from the corner of her eye, flinching everytime their eyes would catch her staring. White, Sven and Matt were on the center of the room, bayards in hand, bodies tense and stance battle ready, eyes always locked onto the corner Void was supposed to be in.

And Alex....well, Alex was looking dissaproblingly at him from above, eyes narrowed and arms crossed, his glare shifting from him to Allura in a back and forth that eventually settled on him, damn his luck.

"Lance....-he said- you better have a good explanation for this, because we don't understand a thing, and trust you as we might, fighting without comprehending the situation is-"

The far end side of the room exploded, sending rubble flying in all directions, forcing the paladins to take cover behind their shields as Void's laugh reverberated once more, setting all the hairs on his body on end, giving him goosebumps. A shiver ran down his spine and he panicked, and decided that a rushed, hastily put together explanation would have to make do because if he wasn't quick everyone was going to die.

"Okay, okay, listen here. Hira is dead, she died when she threw herself into the rift. A creature that dwelled there possessed her body and brainwashed Allura and many people to make it's bidding, I call it Void, and it's only goal is to eat the entire universe and destroy all kind of life, covering everything in darkness forever." Keith gaped and Alex muttered a shocked ' _what_?', both of them glancing at Allura and then the pods, probably putting two and two together, if the way their auras flared was anything to go by.

"We don't have time for this. We need to take Alfor and Bokar out of there and run, regroup, and think of a strategy to defeat this monster. Because if we don't....we're doomed, all life will vanish from the world." He clutched on Keith's arm and rose to his knees, bracing himself for the pain and sighing in relief when he found it was bearable, if not uncomfortable.

He got up with the help of the red paladin, and together, they walked towards the pods, the rest of the team doing the same, huddling together and never taking off their eyes from the could of dust and smoke that covered the rear end of the lab.

Alex exhaled, anxiety and worry and a tinge of fear carrying in his voice as he turned towards him again, tone hard and grave as he spoke. " A lengthy explanation would be good, but if what you said it's true, we can't dawdle here, we need to find a way out." He nodded, eyeing the pods once more, watching as Katie huffed and growled as she played with the panels on the machines, sometimes lighting up with satisfaction, others groaning in annoyance.

"Katie -she looked at Lance from the corner of her eye- can you get them to open?" She bit her lip and narrowed her eyes, tapping her feet rhythmically on the ground.

"I can, but I need time. This stupid thing has been modified so many times that it's protocols and circuits are messed up, I need to find the correct pathway to the command that I want, and for that, I need time." She turned around and continued with her task, Hunk aiding her in whatever he could as they both tried to crack the system and free the Alteans.

A rumble ran throughout the room, and Lance shivered, slowly whipping around to face the danger that he knew approached.

"We might not have that kind of time." He said, voice tight. And watched in awed horror as Hira walked out from the cloud of dust, bones broken and protruding from her body, breaking skin and bleeding all over the floor, creating a black puddle that was thick like ink.

Her arms were twisted in unnatural ways, skin blue and purple as bruises appeared here and there. Her legs were bent wrong and he could see some bones popping out of the joints, the blood -or was it?- pooling on her feet as she limped forward. But the part that made him tremble and want to vomit at the same time was her face.

Her neck had been broken or twisted or god knows what, and it was tilted to the right in an exaggerated bent, her eyes were dead, pools of darkness that swirled with malice and death, like black holes sucking in all kinds of light and life.

She was smiling from ear to ear, mouth stretched to unimaginable levels, breaking skin and showing the gums, teeth, and every crevice of her mouth, the black, inky substance dropping from her mouth and eyes like she was crying, her expression delighted and overjoyed in all the worst ways.

He had to cover his mouth to stop himself from vomiting, and when Keith held him close and rubbed his back, he had no complaints, he doubted he would have been able to stand on his own against such an sight, and even less when the stench of Void's essence burnt his lungs and scorched his skin where the mist it exuded touched him.

He felt dirty.

"My, my, if it isn't the paladins of Voltron?" Void gurgled, the sound disgusting and terrifying at the same time, freezing everyone on their tracks, their bodies rooted to the spot and breaths caught in their throats.

Until Lance smacked Katie and Hunk on the back and everyone snapped each other out of it, Lance holding out his free hand to the right, waiting patiently until soft, warm fingers held his own, squeezing softly once before letting go. He knew Allura would get up on her own, wouldn't be swept under the thick blanket of fear and empty promises once more, she was stronger than that, she had something to fight for, now, she wouldn't make the same mistake twice.

"Who-... _what_ are you?" Alex asked, voice tight with repulsion and an inkling of fear, Void's aura smothering even to those that could not feel it. But the dark being ignored his inquiry, still talking as if he'd said nothing, focusing only on the things that caught it's attention. Like a child.

"How nice that all of you have gathered here before me. Makes it easier to erase you all at once." Void chuckled, it's eyes, black and devoid of light seeming to close in delight. "I wonder....how you'll taste. Will any of you sate my hunger? I'm thrilled to discover it." The entity wobbled forward, limbs swaying back and forth, leaving behind a trail of that inky black goop that seemed to burn through the floor like butter.

After walking a few feet, Void stopped, raising it's head and letting out a breath, still smiling wide and eerie as it spoke. "Play with me?" It mocked in a childlike voice, it's aura flaring up in a sudden burst that had Lance tensing and screaming before he could think twice about it.

"Shields, now!!" No one argued, and they brought the shields up just in time to block a barrage of gunfire-like energy that had them recoiling and bracing themselves, barely being able to contain and withstand the force behind such an attack.

Lance gasped and wheezed, trying to stay upright with sheer force of will only. He was tired and sore and pretty much still hurting, his ribs burnt with every breath he took, and his legs felt like jelly, weak and useless. So it was no surprise when he eventually slipped on the metal floor and fell backwards, cursing and panicking because Katie was still working behind him and he'd been covering her and-

Allura grabbed his shield and held it up with one hand, catching him around the shoulders with the other, using her Altean force to stay fixated to the floor, like an impenetrable wall, allowing Katie to work undisturbed, her humms and murmurs getting lighter and more satisfied as the seconds ticked by.

Eventually, though, the assault stopped -it looked like Hira's body was beyond broken, and Void took a minute to try and place the limbs in a way that didn't interfere with it's attacks-, so the team took a second of respite to get their breaths back, chests heaving with exertion as sweat dropped down their necks, arms shaking from the strain

"We can't-" Lance looked to the right as Sven spoke. "We can't go on like this for much longer, another attack like that, and my arms will fall off." White nodded at his brother, one of his hands supporting Matt, who looked on the verge of passing out, pale and tired, fanning himself with his left hand as he breathed heavily.

"Yeah, I feel like -Matt panted- like I can't breathe, dude. It's like I'm suffocating inside a sauna or something. I don't know who- _what_ that thing is, but I have a feeling we're doomed if we don't strike back, you know?" White exhaled a long breath, patting his lover on the back before turning to look at Alex, his eyes shifting to look at Lance for a fraction of a second before they focused on his leader again.

"Matt is right. We can't stay on the defensive, I don't know what this creature is, but I can feel it -Blue is telling me too- that if we don't fight back or try to resist, we're as good as dead. We need a strategy, a plan, something to go on with until we can think of a escape plan or, or something." Alex hummed, thoughtful, his hand clasped tightly with Keith's, both of them obviously shaking with nerves and anxiety in the face of an enemy they didn't know how to face.

"Lance -he startled, looking at Alex as Allura slowly let him go- you said you knew what this creature was, right?" He gazed at him confused, nodding his head in affirmation.

"More or less, I can just tell you that it comes from the rift and it's powerful, more than any enemy you have ever encountered." Alex breathed in, steeling himself for....something.

"Any way to defeat it that you know of? Weak points?" Lance thought for a second, thinking back to the time he fought with it -if that could even be called fighting-, and eventually shook his head, coming up blank.

"....None that I know of....I think....there was something about a key but....." From Alex's left, Keith let out a shaky breath, grasping his bayard tight and never taking his eyes off from their enemy, Alex squeezing his hand in reassurance as he spoke, his voice filled with resolve, strength, and the burning desire to keep everyone safe and bring them back home.

It warmed up his freezing limbs and softened the icy grip that Void had on his heart, the overwhelming fear and dread fading slowly as everyone's aura resonated with Alex's tenacity.

"Then...we'll just have to try our best. Team, go forth with formation 5! We will strike from every angle and stall this creature until Katie opens the pods! Then we run for it, nobody is allowed to die, understood?!" Team Voltron straightened and held their heads high, auras flaring and rekindling with the aid of their leader's light as they bathed in his confidence, sharing his desire to protect.

"Roger that!" Everyone spoke in tandem, eyes alight with determination as they held their bayards in a fierce grip, running forward and towards the very image of chaos and destruction, who only hummed and glanced at them as they surrounded it, curious more than threatened, wich pissed Lance off to no end.

Right before he left, though, Alex stopped dead in his tracks a few feet ahead of Lance, and, with his back turned to them, spoke with a voice filled with melancholy, doubt, and a dash of hurt mixed with hope that tore his heart and made his chest ache.

"Allura...." Lance felt her flinch from where she stood behind him, her body tense and breath stopping, like she was scared to even make a sound. "We...need to have a long talk after all this ends, I don't get what happened or...what's going on, not fully, at least. I don't know if I can forgive you for what you've done either, not...in the near future. But....for now....please, keep them safe for me, will you? And don't.....don't die..." His last words were but a whisper, but Lance knew that Allura had heard him when her breath hitched and she let out a sound akin to a sob, muffled by her hands, but very much there.

He knew her future was going to be though, that there was much work to do and a lot of suffering and issues to go through, but ultimately, he was glad that she was alive, that they were able to make her see reason, and he knew that Alex and the others were, too.

Gulping in a deep breath and clutching his ribs, he was about to join the others on the fray before a hand clasped his shoulder with surprising strength, keeping him where he stood, unable to move. Without even turning around, he knew who it was, and he growled low on his throat, ready to argue and sneak away as soon as he was able.

"Allura....what are you doing?" Her hand gripped him tighter and brough him a few steps back against his will, forcing him to stand behind her as she raised a shield -blue, probably from White- her expression never wavering even as he struggled against her.

"Sorry, Lance, but he....he told me to keep you safe, and that's what I'm going to do, even at the cost of my own life." Gaping in disbelief, he renewed his efforts to disentangle her hand from his shoulder, but ended up hurting himself further, wich in turn made the princess angry and worried, sending him a chastising look that made him feel like a small child.

"You're hurt, you cannot even dare to stand against such an enemy in that state, and it is my own fault that you ended up that way in the first place, so....so I'm going to protect you to the best of my ability. No more sacrifices, no more death. I will not allow it." Her voice carried her will and the unwavering desire to change, to keep safe those that had meant the world to her, those that believed in her even when she took the wrong path, those she had hurt and despised in her mistakes, but that even so....wanted for her to continue living.

He wouldn't have been able to budge her from her position even if he'd tried.

So he focused on listening to Katie and Hunk curse like sailors and the sound of metal and machinery as they tinkered with it, trying their best to be quick, knowing that time was running out.

A minute later, and he was glad that Allura blocked his view of Void, because it laughed, loud and inhuman, and for a tick, he felt like he was going to faint, legs shaking like a newborn deer while he instinctively held onto Allura's back of her suit with desperation, unconsciously using his sight to watch as the dark, wicked aura trickled to the floor, slowly making it's way throughout the room.

"Foolish paladins, what do you wish to accomplish in this silly endeavor? Even if you manage to save Alfor, what good would it do? I am immortal, there doesn't exist a way to kill me, whatever you try to do will end up in failure. You're just stalling the inevitable." The paladins stood in a circle around the entity, weapons drawn and ready to fire, ignoring it's taunts to the best of their ability and focusing on following their leader's orders instead.

"That may be so -Keith said- but even then, we will try our best to defeat you. There exists no immortal being in this world, and I am sure you are no exception. We are not going to give up so easily. You want to eat us? Well....-he raised his bow in defiance- you're gonna have to fight for your meal." The others mimicked the red paladin, and with a quick signal from Alex, all hell broke loose.

Arrows and bullets flew through the air at high speeds whilst the melee fighters got close to Void and fought with all they had, slashing and twirling around like dancers, trying to find an opening, a chance to strike.

But Void wasn't making it easy, it continued laughing at their efforts, deflecting their attacks while simultaneously sending wave after wave of blasts of energy towards them and in the direction him and Allura were in, forcing her to keep her guard up.

She grunted when another heavy blow landed on the shield, the surface cracking slightly with the impact, and Lance pushed on her back with all the energy he had left so she wouldn't recoil, so she would be able to send back the dark rays and not crash on Katie.

Who, by the way, continued cursing, albeit in a more cheery tone than before, her hands still moving at lighting speeds while a wicked smile widened and took over her face.

"Hah! Yeah, take that you piece of shit! Team Punk does it again!" She whirled around and high fived Hunk, both of them cheering and hollering in happiness as the pods beeped and let out steam, the lights changing from green to red to blue in less than a second.

Lance's own face got overtaken by surprise, and then joy, when he realized that they had managed to hack the pods. "You did it! Are they gonna get spit out now?" Katie laughed and nodded, a mischievous look in her eyes, telling him that she'd done way more than just order the pods to release their occupants. Although he wasn't sure if he wanted to know what she did, if he was being honest.

A loud rumble of engines caught his attention, and he jumped back as the pods opened at the same time, Alfor as his son falling forward and onto Lance's and Hunk's awaiting arms.

Both of them were cold to the touch, and their breathing was swallow and laboured, but they were pretty much alive, wich sent Allura into a fit of tears and half stifled whimpers while she still held the shield up, now with even more force than before.

From the corner of his eye, he spotted a dim light that caught his attention for a tick, but then his vision quickly shifted to gaze upon the paladins and how they were faring, noticing with growing dread that they were losing ground and Void was, slowly but surely, getting the upper hand.

"Oh, this is so fun. Finally, after so long, I'm able to fight the mighty paladins of Voltron, the only ones that had a chance to defeat me....before Altea got destroyed, that is." The entity laughed once more, proceeding to blast away anyone close to him and scatter black flames all throughout the room, scorching anything that came close, burning through metal -and by default skin and bone if touched- like it was nothing.

"Now you have no _key_ , you have no _light_ , and Voltron is just a useless machine used for war instead of it's initial purpose. How sad, how sad....for you!" With a maniacal cackle and a twirl of it's hand, Void summoned tendrils of lighting-like energy and sent them to capture the paladins, their movements snake-like and bringing sparks and thunder to whatever they touched.

The slithering appendages crawled through the ground and towards the paladins with unrelenting speed, and no matter how many of them got destroyed, a hundred more took their place.

Lance watched in muted horror as Sven got caught around the ankle, the tentacle tightening around the muscle with a viciousness akin to a wild animal devouring it's prey. The yellow paladin tried his best to pry the foul thing from his suit, but from what Lance could see, it was useless, the appendage began seeping that inky substance, shining a deep purple-black color, and, a tick later, like shocked, Sven screamed and dropped to the ground like a rock, staying motionless, unmoving.

"Sven!!" He heard White shout, worry for his brother coating his every word as he flew towards his prone body using his jetpack, evading the dark branches trying to get a hold of him.

He landed by his side and checked his pulse, and Lance saw him sigh in relief -he already knew Sven was alive, his aura had not vanished at all, but dimmed, instead, steadily losing it's shine and shrinking, like it was waning, like the tentacle was-

He gasped and left Alfor on the ground to jump to his feet, following the trail of the branch and the light leaving the yellow paladin's body towards the center of it's core, the receptacle, his gaze ending up onto Void, whose broken body stood rooted to the ground in the center of the room, grin still in place. He sucked in a breath and glanced towards Keith and Alex, cupping his hands around his mouth and screaming as loud as he could towards them.

"Don't let those things touch you! They drain life! They'll suck your quintessence away!" Alex looked startled for a second, and barely managed to jump back to evade an attack from said things, Keith and the others doing the same and huddling together near Sven's body, still out cold, since White couldn't touch the black thing without risking ending up the same way.

"My, it seems you have a smart one within your group." Void posed his eyes onto Lance's form, and he shivered so hard he thought his spine would break. "I wonder....how did you know, little paladin?" Void's eyes, which had been wide and filled with joy, narrowed and focused on him more intently, and he felt like he was being analyzed, striped bare, and had to resist the urge to hug himself to ward off the unsettling sensation.

A tick later, and Void's whole demeanor and body language changed. Gone was the playful entity that toyed with them for pleasure, completely confident in it's ability to win. In it's place, instead, stood a being strung tight like a chord, with every nerve in it's body tense and ready to snap, jaw closed and teeth grinding while it's eyes swirled in it's sockets, clearly disturbed and feeling threatened, from what Lance could feel.

The shriek that followed was deafening and made his head throb, but the feelings of terror and fear that it carried were surprisingly satisfying, even if he didn't know where they came from.

" _You_!! Where did you obtain that light? How is it possibe!!" Lance had a sudden flashback to the fist time Void killed him, remembering that he told him the same thing. " You were using the other paladin's lights to blend in so I wouldn't notice you! How dare you....! You have the _key_ , don't you?! You dare defy me! You dare try to send me back! I will not allow it! I won't!" Voice rising with each word, Void's face twisted and morphed into something otherworldly and inhuman, a faceless being with black holes for eyes and an infinite darkness for a body, always changing and without shape.

No one had enough time to warn anyone, and the room exploded with a burst of energy that threatened to suffocate them, oppressing their lungs and weakening their bodies until they were defenceless. He spied from his nearly closed eyes, as Alex brought Keith towards them, both of them wobbling like sleepy children, falling on their knees behind Allura's shield, struggling to stay awake.

"Shit....this is bad.." Muttered the black paladin, voice breathy and strained, like it took great effort to even utter a single word.

Lance just nodded, numb and frozen, mind going a mile per hour trying to figure out what Void had been so mad about, what had disturbed it so. He got back to that moment where Void asked him about a key, something to do with Voltron and light, missing pieces that together opened the doors to it's domain....

But whatever key or piece of the comet had existed, it vanished the moment Altea got blown to bits, Lance didn't have them, and so there was no way for him or anyone else to throw Void back to where it came from.

But Void didn't know that. And he thought Lance held the power to defeat it. Wich put them in a precarious situation, since it would go all out to destroy them in it's fear.

".....ound...." He jumped out of his skin, hearing a whisper close by.

"Uh? What...?" He tried to find out where it came from, and his eyes raked over his companions -Katie's slumped form behind him, Hunk's struggling silhouette as he fought to remain conscious- until they landed on Alfor, pale and limp on the floor. He watched and waited for a while, but nothing happened, and he thought he had imagined it.

Until it happened again.

"Re.....und.....ey...." He gasped and kneeled down besides the King, shushing the paladins as he leaned close, waiting with bated breath for another murmur to leave Alfor's lips.

"Lance?" The princess spoke softly. " What are you doing...?" He waved his hand up and down, trying to convey that he wanted silence, and Allura complied, sitting right before Lance and leaning in, too, her face tight with emotion and barely concealed tears.

"Father....?" It was nothing but a breathy mumble, too soft for anyone that wasn't as close as him to hear it. But it looked like Alfor did, his eyes scrunched up and he moaned, pained and low, his daughter holding his hand softly and trying in vain not to get her hopes up.

"The...key.....res...ound.....it will....black...inco...mplete..." He got even closer still, Alfor's words trailing off in a silent whisper, repeating once more the same thing before falling into a deep sleep.

"The...key....will......resound....open..up....the...way..." Lance furrowed his brows, not understanding what he meant to say, or what it could mean in their situation.

"Allura....does what he said make any sense to you?" She stayed silent, thoughtful, but eventually shook her head no, still clasping her father's hands in a fierce grip, teary eyed, looking worn and drained. He glanced up and locked gazes with Alex, who had narrowed his eyes while he held Keith close to him, both breathing hard and shaking slightly, skin ashen as sweat fell down their cheeks and chin, falling steadily to the floor.

"We don't have time to find out what it means." Alex said as he whirled around, his back to them. " We need to fight back before it kills us all." He clenched his fists and raised his head, reminding Lance of all those times he'd let the rain wash over him back home, feeling like Alex was trying to gather enough power to fight back, to protect those he cared about until his last breath left his body, until he wasn't able to move, until he was broken.

Movement to his left made him look away from his other half and he watched as Allura stood and walked to join Alex, standing side by side. "If you are going to fight, then so will I. I will protect your lives even if the price to pay is mine, it's the least I can do...to atone for my sins." Bowing her head, she gathered what was left of her sword and poised herself to strike, stance as beautiful and perfect as the first time he saw it, no hesitation whatsoever on her movements.

"Idiot..." Alex muttered. " Atone for your mistakes by staying alive, no one wants to see you die." He didn't look at her as he talked, and his voice was too soft, but he knew the princess heard him, and a tiny, self-deprecating smile lit up her face momentarily, reinforcing her determination to fight for them, protect what was left of her family.

He could only watch, astounded from his kneeling position on the ground, as they stood side by side, tall and proud like dignified gods, regal and beautiful, seeming to radiate courage and power, aura's flaring with the light of a thousand men, overwhelming in their beauty.

Then, Alex materialized his bayard, and he held the sword forward like a commander going into war, Allura mimicking him from his right, and he viewed them from the middle, awed and ready to join them. But then something echoed, a bell chimed and a light shone with the glimmer of a million stars, words looped and repeated and he glanced upon Allura's neck and.....and suddenly, he _understood_.

The pendant Allura wore was shining in a bright, black light that glittered with small pinpricks of glitter, swirling with all the colors known to man, looking like a tiny universe was trapped within it's jewel. And to it's left, Alex's bayard echoed that shine, the edge of the sword painted with the same picture as a sound akin to chiming bells and a whistle filled his mind, his ears ringing with such a sweet sound.

_"My father made it for me."_

_"I do not comprehend it's intricate functions, but now that I think about it, it had only ever worked when in close proximity to the castle of lions....."_

_"Maybe...maybe it has to do with the fact that it was made at the same time Voltron was..."_

_"They have light, Voltron has light, but it's not nearly enough to dispel my shadows, it is but a part of the key that opened the doorway to my domains, it cannot hurt me, let alone destroy me."_

_"Now you have no key, you have no light, and Voltron is just a useless machine used for war instead of it's initial purpose."_

_"The...key.....res...ound.....it will....black...inco...mplete..."_

He shot up like a spring, voice caught in his throat.

"The key!! The pendant, the black bayard!" Both Allura and Alex turned to look at him, and he heard more than he saw as Keith gasped as he followed Lance's gaze towards the items, pointing at them with a trembling finger.

"Alex, Alex!" Keith held his arm and looked him in the eye, frantic and serious. " Do you remember what Alfor said when he gave you the black bayard?" The other stayed frozen for a tick before answering, glancing at Allura from time to time.

"He said that he was sorry, but that the black bayard was incomplete, because Voltron's true power was too dangerous to be handled by only one person..." Keith nodded his head, and Lance imagined where he was going with this, so he turned towards Allura and continued where he left off.

"Alfor gave you that pendant, right? - _Yes_ \- You said it was made at the same time than Voltron, and if he had to give anyone the key to unlock Voltron's true power, it would be to someone he could trust, someone no one would suspect. Void said something about Voltron's initial purpose, said it was the only thing that could fight back, and Voltron was created from the inderdimensional comet, so it's initial purpose was-" He sucked in a breath, and him and Keith spoke at the same time.

"Interdimensional travel! You can open a rift and send it back!" He beamed and took his bayard out, intent on fighting until they discovered how to fuse the black bayard with the pendant to make it complete.

But their happiness was short lived, the shield broke, Void screamed in rage while it's dark eyes landed upon the light creating a loop in between Alex and Allura, and the tendrils that had been kept at bay by the barrier captured them, throwing them to the floor, merciless and forceful, leaving him dizzy and bruised

Keith and Alex tried to struggle, they really did, but their attempts grew weaker and weaker until they slumped to the metal floors, breathing swallow and parlor pale and sickly. Allura wasn't faring any better, Katie and Hunk were passed out ,and Matt and White were close to following in their footsteps, curled together around Sven where he still lay down on the other side of the room.

"Too late paladins! Too late! You cannot escape my clutches now, your quintessence is mine, your life is running out as we speak. And you were so close, too. Such a shame." It's tone was mocking, and Void sneered, looking down on them like they were the dirt on the sole of it's boots, like ants, insignificant beings that it could toy with as it pleased.

But Lance knew better. Under all that bravado and the mask of indifference and superiority, fear and dread thrummed loudly, distress holding Void's core in a tight grip, terrified of them, of that light, the only thing that knew was able to defeat it. It could try to lie to itself and those around him, faking confidence and power, but through it's voice, Lance was able to peel off layer after layer until he found the truth

And the truth was that Void was throughly frightened of Alex. Of the black bayard.

If only he could move, if only he could make it so Alex could wield his sword long enough to use it's power, then maybe they could have a chance at winning.

Shaking were he was kneeled, he turned around, intent on speaking to Alex but- he found he had no trouble moving. At all. Besides the ache from previous beatings and blows, his body reacted as it normally would, and so, he stilled, confused and bewildered, gazing at his companion's striken faces.

How they could barely breathe, how their eyes seemed to close on their own accord, how they were shaking as shivers ran down their bodies but sweating at the same time. How they clawed at the floor in pain and their expressions were set on a grimace, unable to move more than their fingers as Void sucked their life-force away from them-

 _Ah_.

Of course.

How could he forget. This reality really was doing a number on him.

He, who was brimming with quintessence, who had been ' _gifted_ ' with such a exorbitant amount of life, who breathed it in and bathed in it, he who could not die was exempt from Void's cruel ploy. Because no matter how long it tried to suck him dry, no matter how much effort it put, it couldn't make him unable to move, it couldn't hurt him like the others, it couldn't take his curse away, it couldn't overpower him.

The sudden realization invigorated him, filled him with a fighting spirit he never thought he would have, and he felt the fire inside his core rekindle and burn alight as he saw a light at the end of the tunnel, a spark of hope that told him not everything was lost, that screamed at him that there was still an escape, a way to victory.

It sounded strangely like Blue.

And it whispered to him. Speaking of fate, of accomplishing the mission he was sent to do, of not letting fear hold him back, for he would always have those who would guide him home, of fighting for freedom, for love, of bravery and destiny, of two sides of the same coin.

And as his eyes landed on the black bayard, he knew what he had to do.

And he held no hesitation, no doubt in his heart, as he threw himself towards Alex and grasped his bayard, knowing for a fact that he would be able to wield it, holding Allura's pendant on his left hand and bringing both items together, Void's shrill scream of fury echoing loudly as they merged, bringing forth a broadsword that shone as beautiful as the night sky back home.

And as he stood, he tried not to think, tried to leave his mind empty and let the melodic hum of the resonance guide his steps, vanish his fear, and steel his body and spirit for what he was about to do. He felt light in his steps as he advanced, and a soft breeze caressed his face and ruffled his hair, blue lights swirling around his body like a current, keeping at bay anything that dared try to approach him.

He knew it was Blue's love, her way of helping, of saying sorry, of saying thank you. He said it back.

"Stay away! You dare defy me? I will swallow your life, I will leave nothing of you, not even your bones. It will be like you never existed at all!" Void retracted all it's appendages from the other paladins, focusing instead on him, sending all it's tendrils so they could coil around his being and eat away any life he might had in him.

But it was useless. Like trying to empty a battery that's constantly being recharged, futile.

He saw the moment Void realized it had no escape, the moment he knew he was doomed, but it still struggled against Lance's pace and it's inevitable fate. Eventually, though, Lance held the bayard tight and cut horizontally, vanishing every dark branch of mist fighting to keep him at bay, and he found himself face to face with the one that began everything, the one responsible for so much suffering and death.

And without blinking, without so much as a second thought about it, he focused all his energy on the blade he was carrying, prayed with all his heart that it would connect, that it would answer, and he slashed a cut from side to side in the air that opened up like a wound, showing a darkness so profound and all-encompassing that it left him breathless.

A scream left Void's being, filled with terror, denial, fear, rage, unfairness, and a little pinprick of light that felt like a plea, a cry for help that went unanswered as the rift seemed to reach for it, take it in with such force that Void was left wiggling and struggling to free himself.

It was for naught. The rift knew what belonged to it, knew what was space dust born from space dust, shadow from his own shadow, knew Void like it was it's own child and it was unforgiving in giving punishment to those that dared reach for a world of light.

A world not their own.

He blinked, and Void was gone, sucked into the land that had been it's home, trapped forever once more as soon as he closed the rift. Like stitching a wound, it would have been as if it never happened, only a slight of a scar a reminder of what was left behind.

"Lance!" A wrecked voice called for him, and he whirled around, coming face to face with the team, all of them in varying degrees of conciousness as they rose, smiling at him, some of them befuddled, others amazed, and others just plain worried sick -coughKeithcough - while they said his name, their voices filled with pride and joy and happiness.

It was so bright he felt like he was basking on the sun of the beaches back home, everything felt right, missing pieces finally slotted into place, and he returned their smiles, albeit his own was rueful and guilty.

"Lance! Watch out!" Keith's horror stricken face was the last thing he wanted to see at the moment, but he had no choice as an inky black hand gripped his wrist with enough force to break it - it was most definitely broken- another coiling around his neck, tugging him backwards and onto the rift that he had yet to close. He expected this to happen -he knew it had to-, but even so, he hadn't wanted the team to watch him fall, hadn't wanted them to feel guilty.

Like he was out of his body, he watched as Keith and Alex ran towards him, screaming his name and reaching their hands for him, terrified and frantic, distressed and anguished as they desperately tried to hold him, protect him. And the force of their feelings traveled through their bond and through White until they fell into him, like drizzling rain, like a downpour.

_'Save him.'_

_'Protect him.'_

_'Keep him safe.'_

_'Don't let him carry with the weight of our mistakes.'_

_'Don't let another sacrifice be made.'_

_'Don't allow him to disappear for our happiness.'_

_'Gotta keep our promise, gotta send him back.'_

_'They are waiting for him, they need him.'_

_'Don't fail to protect what you love once again.'_

_'Grasp his hand, don't let go.'_

_'Lance!'_

He smiled despite himself, keeping close to his heart their good intentions and their affection, chest hurting with what he was about to do, but knowing it was necessary, nevertheless. And with Blue's sweet whispers in his mind and the cool reassurance that calmed his anxiety, he took a deep breath and let himself fall, watching as the rift began shrinking rapidly while he spoke.

"Don't worry, guys. I'm just going home." Only anguished yells were his answer, but he knew the team had heard him, and, with a forceful tug backwards, he was yanked down towards the depths were the light didn't reach.

The team was getting closer now, but their voices faded as he drowned deeper and deeper in the muddy darkness, his lungs burning like there was no oxygen left as the grip around it tightened even more. It felt like breathing in fire.

Closing his eyes, he gathered whatever energy was left in him, and with a quick and swift movement, he focused his gaze on the tiny pinprick of light that was the rift and threw the sword towards it, trusting his skills and accuracy to make sure the black bayard got trough to the other side. There was no way that he was going to let Void have any chance whatsoever of getting out again, not while he was alive, at least.

It seemed Void realized this, because as soon as the sword passed through and the fissure closed, it let out a pained shriek that carried anger and defeat, but also satisfaction. And as the grip on his -definetly broken- wrist and neck slackened, he was left floating in nothingness, the air around him feeling vile and heavy, like it was too thin and he couldn't breathe properly.

He coughed a few times and teared up when the motions hurt his bruised ribs, making his already laboured breathing way shallower than it was, his vision wavering as a dizzy spell left him nauseous and on the verge of fainting.

"You....what have you done?" Opening up one eye while he still struggled to calm himself, he spotted Void's eyes a few feet before him, looking almost accusingly at him. " You threw away the only thing that was capable of bringing you freedom, you condemned both of us to an eternity of nothingness without light. How foolish." He chuckled, feeling giddy and kinda out of it, hands clutching his chest as he tried to even out his breaths and calm the rapid beating of his heart.

In all honestly, he was kind of terrified, and was doing his best to ignore the bubbling anxiety and fear that was thrumming through his veins, loud like raging waves, filling his ears with the sound of static. He knew he was on the verge of a panic attack, and the only reason he hadn't blown out yet was because the pain was taking all his attention at the moment, although he was sure that as soon as he relaxed a little, his mind would reel and overwhelm him with an onslaugh of thoughts and emotions he didnt know if he was ready to handle.

He didn't regret his decision, not really. He would have dissappeared soon, anyway, if the gaps in his memory were anything to go by. The other reality had been erasing him steadily, trying it's best to get rid of him, and he'd been really close to vanishing, he didn't have long left. So his only chance at freedoom, at continue living, if what Blue had told him was true, had been throwing himself into the rift.

So no, he didn't regret what he did.

But that didn't mean that he wasn't worried or scared or that he was second guessing his rashness or if there might have been another way. Altean Keith was probably cursing his name this very moment, after the talk they had and when he assured him that he understood, that he would rely on others and not take all the weight on his shoulders.

His only solace was knowing that no matter how much the others wanted to save him, they wouldn't be able to slash open another fissure anytime soon. The bright light that had been shining like a beacon before, when he wielded the sword, had diminished to nothing but a small glow that faded rapidly, the power draining out of it as he threw the bayard away.

He knew it would take time to recharge it, and even if it did, the team wouldn't be so reckless as to do something so imprudent, risking the safety of their universe and make his sacrifice be for naught. He had faith that Alex wouldn't allow it, that Blue would transmit his feelings -he was okay, he was going back- to White and they would move on, towards a better future, _together_.

Now he just had himself to worry about.

"Doom awaits you, paladin. In this plane between existences, in the space between life and death, there is nothing, there is no way out, only darkness that extends forever and an unforgiving desolation that twists minds and breaks souls. You sealed your fate when you relinquished the key, now you'll spend the rest of your life, eternity itself, in this dead realm where light doesn't reach, with me." Void chuckled, wandering aimlessly around the nothingness that surrounded them, it's form changing and merging into different shapes, unstable.

"There is...no way out..." He muttered to himself, feeling apprehensive and lost, remembering Blue's murmurs of leaving fear behind, of faith, of light, but not understanding what she meant and feeling like it was the only path towards salvation.

Their link was gone, and he couldn't talk to her from wher he was, she'd barely given him an explanation, doing her best to show him what to do, her words muffled and broken, a riddle. And if he didn't decipher it's meaning....he might be trapped forever, never to see those he longed to again, never to see their smiles again, to hear their voices again.

The sole thought broke his heart and made his eyes water. That wasn't an acceptable outcome. He promised he would go back, he told Allura -his Allura- to trust him, that he would find his way back home, and there was no way he was going to go back on his word, not when he'd swore to Altean Keith and the others that he would try his best to believe in others, to share his burdens and open up.

He had to try harder, for them. For all of them.

"There really isn't, I assure you. Before the comet opened the way to my domains, no light and no life had ever reached this zone, and I soon realized that without a waymaker, a guide back, there was no way to escape from this side alone." Void swam towards him, slithering and coiling around his body like a foul blanket, laughing in his ear as it mocked him and his inability to flee, feeling satisfied that he was as trapped and miserable as he was.

"It's the end of the road for you, human. Death has no meaning here, and time does not exists, you have no waymaker, no guide, no light. You have nothing, and your fate is to despair in this domain forevermore, longing for the things you will never get back." His breath caught in his throat as the entity left his side to float adrift close by, his chest hurting with the possibility of an existence in solitude, separated from everything he'd ever loved.

He didn't think Blue would have sent him here, that she would have allowed him to fall, if there wasn't a good reason for it, if she hadn't know that he could get himself out of it somehow, if she hadn't fully believed that he would be safe.

But how.....

He clenched his fists and lowered his gaze, mouth in a tight line as his mind worked a mile per hour, desperate for an answer, for a hint that he hadn't messed up somehow, that he hadn't inadvertently done something wrong to thwart Blue's plan and condemned himself to a pitiful destiny.

He could feel his nails digging into his palms and seethed while furiously glaring at his fist and then-

He froze, he stopped breathing, stopped thinking, eyes glued to his wrist.

"I have them...." Void made an inquisitive noise, but he ignored him, a smile stretching his face as he lit up, suddenly overcome with happiness. " I have them....my guide back....our bonds...." He teared up and his voice broke, his tone choked but so, so relieved as he gazed upon the see through bracelets on his wrist, dimly lit and shining with the colors he knew so well.

He nearly outright sobbed when a faint silhouette of a red one shone within the others, faint and new, in pieces and shattered, but still there.

"They might be broken and bent out of shape, they might falter and weaken with wavering emotion, but they will never vanish, they bind us together and connect our hearts. They will lead me _home_." He looked up and directed his smile at Void, watching as the being stilled and gazed upon him, confused but curious.

It's aura, that had previously been bleeding everywhere, crazed and wild, was now gathered into a small orb, black and purple, swirling in an almost lazy manner. It was almost as if...it had stabilized, somehow, like being in the rift, it's natural habitat, had brought it back to it's original state, and that had him thinking.

"You will be going, then. Solitude awaits me once more, this....wretched existence." Lance used his sight and raked his eyes over the other's core, flinching a little at the swirling mass of anger and chaos that made up his nucleus, the essence of what it was.

It was disintegrating.

"I don't think so. You are fading, you don't have long." Surprise etched itself onto Void's features, a clawed hand going to touch it's center in wonder and.....yearning?

"I am....my existence is ending? How is that possible?" Lance sighed and shook his head.

"I don't know, these are just conjectures and assumptions, but...you are a being of the rift, you aren't made to live behind it's cradle, your...composition was probably not made to withstand the outside world." Void locked gazes with him, it's voice seeping with a sorrowful kind of hope that broke his heart. Because, despite everything, Void was a living being, and it's emotions rang true and sincere and hurt him as much as anyone's.

"I am....dying, then?" Lance nodded, feeling a slight tug on his wrist that he thought he imagined and thus ignored.

"You are the guardian of this realm, yet you lived for years on the other side, possessing a body that could barely contain your essence. I have a feeling that the reason the rift sucked you in so unforgiving, was because it knew that you were going to die, maybe...it was trying to save you, in it's own way. You are part of it, were born from it, it's like.....like a mother trying to protect her child." Lance clutched his chest, missing his own mother and feeling the loneliness and homesickness strike him like a punch to the gut.

Even after so much time, the pain was as fresh as the first day they left home, the gap in his heart still aching with longing. He missed his family, terribly so, and the mere mention of mothers sent him in a downright spiral of despair that he couldn't allow himself to fall into.

"I....do not understand...I only wanted to feel complete...find what was missing....I only wanted to be...." He wondered if Void had been about to say human, if he'd been harboring feelings of jealousy for those that lived in the light, while it had to dwell in the embrace of darkness, forever forbidden from interacting with any other creature.

Alone forevermore.

Sadness overwhelmed him as he glanced at Void, conflicting feelings battling inside his heart. He couldn't forgive what it had done, not really, maybe not ever. But he couldn't help but think, that if Void had possessed someone that hadn't been as twisted as Hira, someone who could have taught it love and affection, it would have turned out differently.

After all, the only thing it ever wanted had been to feel alive, to escape the clutches of darkness and reach towards the light, something that had always been out of his grasp, something he'd been denied since it's creation.

He couldn't bring himself to forgive it, neither to hate it. He pitied him.

" I accomplished nothing, then...I couldn't become something else, I couldn't understand other beings, neither empathize with them, my existence was....pointless..." Void's body was disintegrating as he spoke, it's tone neutral, like he couldn't feel sorrow for it's own existence, like it didn't know how.

"Then....-Void looked up, curious- there's this thing humans believe in....it's called reincarnation, it's the belief that all life has a cycle, and when it reaches it's end, it begins anew in a different physical body, starting from zero." The other tilted it's head, half of it already turned into space dust, clearly not understanding where he was going with this.

"What I mean to say is....your cycle in ending, you're reaching the finish line, but...but next time, in your next life....you can try again. Learn from your mistakes and carry with you every good thing that you've been taught, leave behind the anger and sorrow and try to reach the light. With honesty, with love." Void seemed to freeze, it's hands stilling before cradling what was left of it's face, it's mouth quirking up slightly into a tiny, sincere smile.

It laughed, then, the sound broken and stuttered, echoing softly around them, self deprecating and filled with realization and a sudden understanding that Lance couldnt fathom.

If he didn't know any better, he would have though it was crying.

" _Ahhh_.....I remember now...before I was consumed by solitude, before I was tainted and corrupted with emotions I was not meant to have.....when I was the lone guardian of the space between dimensions, always gazing upon the outside world.....my name.... _Penumbra_..." Name....it....they had a name? He gaped at the other as they curled in around themselves, making them look smaller than they were, as if they were trying to hold what was left of their figure, keep it together.

"You know, I.....I actually looked forward to conversing with that Altean....Erias. He was just like me, and I have a feeling that he wasn't what you....beings would call ' _good_ ', but....if nothing else, his....affections, his....love? were sincere, and when we were together, I forgot who I actually was. I felt like I was...no longer hungry." He didn't know what to say to that, so he stayed silent, listening to Penumbra's breaths and the way the sound seemed further and further away as the seconds ticked by.

"Say, human....if you truly believe that all life begins anew....if you hold the belief that even someone like me deserves a second chance....if we meet once more.....will you teach me about love?" Clutching at his right wrist as he felt another subtle tug, he searched within his heart for the truth of what he felt, and found that, through the pain and anguish, he believed in redemption -to some extent-, in making up for one's mistakes, with as many lives as needed.

"I will. In another life, in another world, if we meet again. I _promise_." Penumbra seemed to relax at his words, like a weight had been lifted, and their voice no longer carried any emotion besides content, and a serenity that had been probably their initial state before they were corrupted. They rose and, slowly, like the flutter of wings, soft and ephemeral, approached him, body crumbling like cherry blossoms falling from a tree, leaving behind a trail of glimmering dust that lit up the darkness around them.

"Then, in return for your kindness, and for your word, let me give you something back." They leaned in, now whispering. " Many realities bleed into this space, this realm that exists in between worlds, pasts and futures. When I was the guardian, when my mind was still pure, one such reality seeped into my domain, and a curtain opened, allowing me to watch the events that unfolded. What you seek is...." Lance listened, eyes going wide and mouth hanging open in disbelief, whole body shaking with anticipation and hope as his arms trembled with the force he was clutching his forearms with.

Or maybe it was the tug on his wrist that pulled again with renewed vigour.

"Do not forget our promise, paladin...I will...be waiting..." He gasped and yelped when his hand caught nothing but empty space, Penumbra's body completely shattering in a burst of sparks that faded before he even blinked.

He couldn't even think, he was overwhelmed, what they had told him, the parting gift they gave in return for his promise, how could he even-

He felt like someone had shoved him on the back, a giggle echoing, and suddenly he was careening forward and onto the direction the strings attached to his wrist were going, the force of the push coupled with the tug on the strings pulling him towards a tear in space that glimmered with light.

And then there were hands. Hands he recognized, fair skinned, dark skinned, purple, big, small, with gloves, with rings, with claws. And all of them reached for him, and he could hear, from beyond the fissure kept open by the threads, their voices screaming his name, many voices drowning in a myriad of emotions, but all of them yearning for the same thing, asking for only one thing.

_'Come back home.'_

He didn't hesitate as he held those hands, and they held him back and _pulled_. It felt like passing through a layer of ice, his breath frozen in his lungs, his heart stopping and body chilled to the bone. He couldn't feel anything, couldn't breathe, couldn't see.

Someone screamed his name, a fluttering warmth touched his lips and hands carressed his face while others pressed against his chest, many voices echoing around him, cuddling his form with their relief and affection and love.

They asked him to wake up, to open his eyes, to stay with them. They curled around him and warmed his frozen body, all colorful and soft, like kittens, purring and praising him, comforting him just like the many touches that were stroking his skin, carefully, tenderly.

For them, he fought, for them, he opened his eyes.

And he saw the familiar faces of those he loved gazing back at him, teary eyed and tired, faces ashen and sleep deprived, but sporting the biggest smiles he'd ever seen, all of them directed at him.

And in that moment, he knew he was safe, he knew he was  _home_ .

So he slept.

And that night, he had a dream.

He dreamt that the other world was sent on the path to recovery, every person that had been controlled being freed from their chains, returned to their homes to their loved ones. He dreamt that Hunk found Shay and they reunited, sealing their destinies together with a union ceremony, finally settling down and rising a family, happiness overtaking every aspect of their lives.

He dreamt that Alex and Keith followed suit not long after, when the universe was stable enough, marrying and promising to spend their lives together, always trusting each other and sharing troubles and joy alike, partners.

He dreamt that Thace and Allura were vanished after years of working to undo the damage both her and Penumbra had caused, settling on a deserted planet to spend the rest of their lifes in solitude as they said goodbye to the only family they had left. But as more and more refugees and people without family sought their lands to quell their loneliness, villages were formed, cities were created, and within a few hundred years, New Altea stood proudly, beautiful and peaceful, ruled by the people as they chose who would be the one worthy of the title of King.

He dreamt that Voltron and Alfor reunited with them, and that they forged the bonds that had united them once more, stronger than before, and that they worked together to make sure the universe would never be shrouded into war ever again, no matter what it took.

He dreamt that White and Matt returned to Earth, both becoming teachers and diplomatic figures that kept the relations between Alteans -and other species- and Terrans stable, handling any trouble with ease and promoting dialogue and empathy over violence and fear.

He dreamt that Katie wrote a book talking about her experiences in space, Void, what war did to people and their homes, and how Lance had being a hero that had donned the ultimate sacrifice to bring them happiness. She wrote a book about their stories, life, love, emotions, and called it Voltron: Legendary Defenders.

He dreamt that, after he left, Blue had told them that he'd returned home, that he hadn't thrown himself to his death with no care about how it might affect others, and that he wished them all the joy they deserved, that their smiles would stay bright and honest, that he would always remember them.

That night, he dreamt that the team smiled for him alongside Allura, together, and speaking through Blue, knowing that she would rely their message to him, told him the words that they hadn't been able to say before he left.

_'Thank you.'_

The warmth and happiness that the words carried washed over him like a blanket, full of affection and love, a gratitude so overwhelming it warmed his very soul. And they cradled him and lulled him to sleep when he rose momentarily, safe and sound in the arms of those he loved, knowing they would be there when he woke up, knowing they never stopped thinking about him, that their bonds were real and unbreakable.

And before fading completely, before succumbing to the call of sleep once more, he reminisced about the time that jealousy and self doubt had crawled under his skin, about the words that striked him, razor sharp and bitter, about how much of an idiot he'd been.

_'Why isn't it me they hold so dear? Will I ever be that loved, respected, trusted?_

He already was.

He'd just been an oblivious idiot who hadn't noticed the hands reaching out for him.

But that would change, from now on. He would make sure of that.

He nuzzled whoever was closer to him, sighing softly when hands ran through his hair. And with his body cuddled and snuggled at from every corner, he closed his eyes once more, content, happy, boneless, and took the nap he so deserved.

Everything else could wait.

He had all the time in the world.

 


	13. Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After finally returning home, Lance thought everything would fall back into place and a sense of normalcy would take over his life, returning things to their rightful place as he settled back on his usual role and routine, continuing from where he'd left off.
> 
> He couldn't have been more wrong.
> 
> There is a disconnect between him and reality, his emotions a mess he can barely control, switching from happy and relieved to panicky and anxious in the space of a heartbeat as he tries to deal with the many aftereffects of his little journey.
> 
> Time is unyielding and waits for no one.
> 
> And certainly not for him.
> 
> Unforeseen consequences to his past actions arise, and he thinks he's messed up beyond repair this time, the guilt piling up until he feels he's going to suffocate under the pressure.
> 
> A talk with his team makes him see otherwise, and through shared experiences and stories, tears and laughs and comforting touches, the bond of trust that had been severed shines anew, it's light rekindled by the fire of his team's- his family's- love.
> 
> He feels like everything's alright with his world, and prays to god it lasts.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here i am! Don't kill me please! God, this chapter took soooo long, and you'll know why soon, but just know that i've been writing non-stop, and this chapter didn't want to end- like, i had so much to tell, from both the paladin's and Lance's side.
> 
> It's friggin 81 pages- my average is 55 or so! Ugh, my eyes, they burn, the editing was a bitch.
> 
> In this chapter, which is transitional and the beggining of the next arc- although it officially begins on the next one (wiggles eyebrows)- we have Lance dealing -or trying to- with everything, and the Team saying things that had to be said, and brining closure to everything that happened on the other arc while Lance was away.
> 
> There's a lot of dialogue and introspection, specially from Lance who cannot stop overthingking things, for some reason, and from the team, who has many things they want to ask him and talk about. 
> 
> It might be quite tedious to read, maybe it'll bore you, but important things are said -and i tried to make it funny/interesting- and it leaves the terrain ready for the beggining of my favorite arc yet.
> 
> So, that said! Thanks to everyone that waited this long! i know it sucks that this is not a plot-heavy chapter, but it's coming! I hope you enjoy the update, feel free to leave a comment if you did!
> 
> Thank you to everyone who supports me and this fic, and anyone who leaves kudos, comments, suscribes, bookmarks, or just takes the time to read! You're the light of my life and ilu guys <3

* * *

Waking up was taking him more effort than he remembered.

Those were the thoughts swirling in his tired mind as soon as he had some semblance of consciousness. He felt like his eyelids were glued to his cheeks, and his limbs were pretty much useless, curled around himself as he laid on his side, resting against something soft and fluffy that smelled like vanilla and spices.

Lance wanted to try and open his eyes, maybe move a little or sit up, but his body acted against his wishes and remained still, completely boneless on whatever surface he was resting on, like someone had cut the strings holding him up. He felt so empty and spent he didn't think he had the energy to move, let alone speak or, do much of anything, really, he was unable to even lift a finger.

He _knew_ he couldn't, he'd already tried.

So he worked on analyzing his surroundings with his senses instead, and only now realized there was a hand softly carding their fingers through his hair, slowly and carefully, massaging his scalp from the crown of his head to the base of his neck, making him sigh in relief at the peacefulness of the moment.

It was soothing and comforting, the motions slowly lulling him back to sleep, calming his thoughts and whatever worries were trying to come afloat, leaving them drowning in the deepest parts of himself for a later date, when he was actually coherent enough to deal with them.

He also noticed that he was surrounded by warmth on all sides, the heat reminding him of fireplaces and the sizzling of burning wood. Intense, but not stifling, shrouding his body and seeping inside his freezing veins and ice-cold bones, warming him inside out in a way that only physical closeness could.

Every presence cocooned him and made him feel like he was drifting on a cloud, everything soft and squishy and smelling like the blankets Hunk kept in his room, the ones that were yellow and orange and he loved so much, because they reminded him of the sunset back home.

He was pretty sure he felt someone's forehead resting on his nape, and that there was a hand holding his own and another resting on his ankle, his waist, and his calf, the touches fleeting and light, but their pressure a comforting weight that anchored him to reality, to the truth of the moment he was experiencing.

It was wholesome in a way that his sleep addled brain couldn't explain at the moment, but the exhilaration and completion he felt slowly traveling through his bloodstream and to his heart was proof enough of how happy he truly was, even though he couldn't express it right now.

He didn't think he was capable of much at the moment, lest alone try to analyze the situation beyond what he was feeling as of now, and moving was absolutely out of the question, he tried to rise his head or turn it to the side, and found it an impossible feat.

But it made him realize something else, instead.

His own head felt like it was propped against someone's body admist the convoluted mess of limbs and body parts, everyone mingling together in a tangle of people and blankets that must have been uncomfortable but felt like paradise to him, who always thrived on human contact.

So that's why he was extremely comfortable and at ease as he rested against what he guessed was someone's lap, embarrassment and shame something long gone for him as he relished in the closeness and the heat radiating from the body, the way it shifted below his cheek and how the owner tried to move as little as possible so as to not disturb him, such thoughtfulness regarding his well being warming his heart.

He guessed it was the same person that was carefully brushing through his curly strands of hair, his body shifting slightly with every breath his mystery caretaker took. The beating of his heart echoed through the ear he had pressed against the other's legs, the sound akin to a lullaby that made his own heart thrumm in response, made him feel alive.

Waking up like this was a huge change from the last few times he'd done it, and he shuddered just thinking about those events, the small flashbacks giving him goosebumps and chills, his spine feeling like stalactites were prickling his skin. It had been.... _terryfing_ , dying by Allura's hands, waking up on Erias' ship and find out he was trapped in a loop, wondering if he was going to be able to save them all and finally move on, if he was going to ever go back _home_.

There had been so much doubt, so much heartache. He hadn't know the fate that awaited him at the end of the path he'd chosen, but no matter how much it hurt, he'd gone at it with all he had to offer, with all his might and courage and determination so that he had no regrets later, so that he could walk forward with his head held high.

He'd been quite... _traumatized_ , at the time, and working on fumes, always on the verge of a breakdown, stressed and hurried, swamped by many things that needed his attention, problems to solve, truths to find, people to save. All of which had prompted him to brush away any semblance of rest, and be on and about as soon as he was conscious again after a redo, tiredness brushed away in favor of fulfilling the role he felt responsible to accomplish.

He practically jumped like a man possessed as soon as he was back in time, if he was not busy having a panic attack, that is.

Sleep hadn't been in his list of priorities at the time, and with everything going on, the thought hadn't even crossed his mind, too caught up in the conspiracies and betrayals to even take into account just how little he'd rested.

Almost next to nothing, really.

But there had been another reason for that, one that he'd tried to ignore with his whole being, choosing to turn his back on that little problem, knowing that he could tell no one -not with how secretive and closed off he'd been- and that no one could help him.

And that reason had been _fear_.

Considering the circumstances of his lasts redos....well, he thought it was understandable, and that he was entitled to his fear of closing his eyes for any kind of reprieve, scared of what he would find once he woke up.

He'd been terrified to even close his eyes for more than a minute, his anxious-riddled mind playing tricks on him and showing him the worst case scenarios, the ones in which he messed up and ended up back to square one, redoing again and again and _again_ with no light at the end of the tunnel in sight.

He'd seen himself, trapped within that moment in time, unable to save anyone, powerless to keep that universe from ending, going back to try and fix it only to fail miserably and begin anew, with no escape, no hope, no _ending_ , and with his family too far away from him to ever see their smiles one last time.

Those nightmarish thoughts swirling in his mind had been heartwrenching, and he'd had to suppress them in order to keep himself active and going, to move onwards and finish what he'd started, to fulfill everyone's wishes and Blue's plea, set the universe on the right path.

It might not have been the best coping mechanism, and his body was paying the price for his lack of rest now, but, everything had happened too fast for him to heed his own needs beyond his obvious prayer of going back home.

He'd decided to focus all his efforts and attention on his mission, disregarding anything else but the flaming determination to see it through to the end he wanted, the end they all _deserved_.

It wasn't until he'd seen the bracelets on his wrists that some semblance of hope had blossomed inside his chest, and he'd held onto their colorful, familiar auras with a death grip, their warmth brining him comfort in his darkest times, a reassurance that he'd never been alone.

By that point, though, he'd barely gotten any sleep -nor had he the time to spare for some- and when he did, he'd been either unconscious or coming back from a redo, which had left him more than a little worse for wear, already thinking his next course of action and dismissing any kind of loitering as he laser-focused in his objectives.

That had proved to be a mistake that he was going to pay for, but he couldn't help but believe he'd done all he could back then, when the terrifying visions playing under his eyelids had prevented him from seeking any kind of relief or relaxation, his fear and paranoia too strong to fight.

This time had been different, though.

Because he'd woken up feeling warm and comfortable instead of cold and disoriented, with a weight settled on all sides of him, grounding him and making him feel calm, some instinctual part of him inwardly knowing he didn't have anything to worry about. He hadn't needed to open his eyes -not that he could- to know he'd moved forward, that he was where he was meant to be, back with the people he considered his _family_.

He felt safe, protected, at _home_.

It'd been pretty obvious he'd been in the center of some sort of...cuddle pile, and from what he could remember from the time before he'd fainted, everyone that mattered to him had been there. He could faintly remember pained cries and screaming pleas, tender touches and soft lips, the feeling of air flowing into his lungs and a collage of faces from the people he loved the most, their expression a mixture between relieved, happy, and hurt.

He remembered, vaguely, hands on his back and neck, nimble fingers caressing his cheeks with a tenderness that melted his core and left him pliant and sated, their fleeting contact making him feel cared for.

Very similar to the touch he was receiving right now, which just cemented the idea that he was back home and not in some sort of....self-inflicted hallucination, which would have honestly destroyed him, had that been true. But touch couldn't be faked, and he relished on it and the way it grounded him, put his feet back on solid ground, let him know this was _real_.

The reassurance it brought was immense.

Almost as if sensing his thoughts, like fate was once again challenging him, the hand left for a tick, and he felt himself whine -which would probably embarrass him to no end later- missing it's touch and the tenderness in which it brushed through the strands, fearing it's absence meant this was no longer real, doubt eating up at his weary mind.

Deep down, he knew that train of thought was silly, but that gentle hand was the only thing tying him to reality, and the anxiety that roused when it left came unbidden and sudden, making his fingertips tingle with the need to hold onto it, reach for it.

A chuckle answered his silent plea for the touch to return, and not even a tick later, those nimble fingers were back again, running up and down the back of his head, tucking some strands behind his ear and brushing his fringe back from his forehead.

It was so soothing, so gentle, so nice and soft.

He didn't know when was the last time he'd been so relaxed, no imminent threat or world wide destruction looming over him, no people to rescue and wormholes or gates to worry about, no evil entities having identity crises or enemies out for his blood ready to destroy all he loved.

It was nice, to feel such freedom for once, to lay wrapped in a fluffy blanket burrito-style without a worry in the world, surrounded by the people he called family and letting the universe continue to move on, everything feeling inconsequential but the warmth he could feel around him.

He hummed, satisfied and practically melting into the mattress, exhaling a puff of air that took with it the last of his nerves and worries alongside whatever energy he had left, the action prompting a chuckle from someone close by, the sound like chiming bells.

He was so sleepy...he felt dizzy even with his eyes closed, like the world was tilting on it's axis, up and down switching and moving, the sensation nauseating, making him groan in distress and burrow further into the heat the other person exuded.

"Idiot." The word was said in a breathy whisper, the voice breaking slightly at the end.

And it might have been because he was half-asleep and bone tired still, but he couldn't seem to control or turn off his hearing. And through the haze of his fading consciousness, he caught the tell-tale feel of an incommensurable amount of relief and fondness, coupled with a smidge of frustration and worry.

He didn't have time to ponder or guess whose voice it was, though, because the person began to hum a nice little tune, their tone overflowing with protectiveness and reassurance, such emotions sneaking into his chest and warming him inside out until the heavy pull of darkness that had been trying to bring him down finally won.

A hitch of breath and a shuddering sigh were the last things he heard before sleep claimed him once more, completely surrendering to the sensation and letting it pull him under, every bone in his body telling him that it was _safe_ , that he could finally sleep, that nothing was wrong.

He cuddled even closer to the furnace-like person by his side, seeking their warmth, and burrowed his head on the soft cloth he found there, feeling more at peace than he could ever remember being.

Then he settled, exhaled a pleased little breath, and finally slept.

He barely heard the strangled sound that came from above.

It almost sounded like a sob.

\--

When he woke up next time, his mind was clearer, and the thick mist that had been nubling his thoughts was completely gone, leaving him receptive to all kinds of feelings and sensations, most of which were _good_. He could feel, for instance, as Blue roamed inside his brain, growling like a mother lioness guarding her cubs, protecting his mindcape from any possible intrusions or stimuli.

Which seemed to include the rest of the lions, who were fretting about, unable to trespass the barrier that gave way to his mind, like Blue was keeping a door closed and they kept scratching at it, weakly, like small kittens meowing and seeking affection.

It was an hilarious image, one that Blue found funny as well, but she would still _not_ let them in. It wasn't like Black couldn't override her barriers and go in, he was the leader, after all, and Blue had to listen to his commands, but he was respecting her wishes, awaiting by the ' _mind_ ' door until she felt it was alright for them to advance.

The lions were many things, but intrusive was not one of them.

If they thought some memories or feelings were kept private, whatever the reason or if they agreed or not- they would respect that choice and would never touch that part of their mind. They were also mindful of their brethren's opinions and decisions, seeing that, as a team, trust and courtesy were primal and an important part of their bond, what made them work so well together.

And that's why, when Blue growled lowly at his sisters, sharing her thoughts and how she wasn't going to change her mind on this, the others understood, and stayed vigil, waiting for the moment they could check on him, which was really _sweet_. He really missed them, too, but Blue - _his Blue_ \- thought he needed his rest and to put his ideas in order, have a bit of reprieve, and she wasn't about to let anyone disrupt that, so that reunion would have to wait.

In all honesty, she was mostly afraid that he would be overwhelmed, that his mind had taken too much too fast and too often and that dealing with the memories and the backslash that was surely to follow would hurt him too much, too _deep_.

She was scared of him hurting, of the memories brining back the turmoil that he'd finally managed to leave behind, but he had to face the things that happened, the memories that he was sure she was keeping at bay in an attempt to protect him.

She had been privy to his adventures on the other side, after all, she knew he'd lost some of his ' _lives_ ' and all the fear and horror he'd gone through, all the heartache and realizations and pain. All the difficult choices he had to make and the suffering he had to endure, trying to hold onto the hope that he would return home, trusting what Blue said and that she would never lie to him or endanger him without reason.

It hadn't been pretty, and his emotional state might had been...delicate at some point, but he was mostly over it now, he was okay.....or would be.

So he understood where her protectiveness was coming from, really, and it made him feel all mushy and soft inside, knowing that Blue - _his_ Blue, he liked to remind himself- cared so much about him.

Not that he didn't know that already, but, it was nice to feel her emotions firsthand -instead of through another version of her-, her usual rumble running through him and quenching his nerves, making him feel at ease.

But, as much as he appreciated the thought, Black and the others were whining in the distance, their presences faint and fuzzy, their worry and eagerness almost palpable in their intensity. They wanted to see _him_ again, wanted to feel him near and just...be _close_. They didn't care how long they had to wait, they just wanted to check on him, reassure themselves that he was healthy, and then leave him to his own devices so he could rest unbothered.

And he couldn't deny them, really.

Not after everything they had done for him, not after all the support they had given him and the courage they infused him with, the love and care they unconditionally gave him when he needed it the most.

He was about to get up, anyway.

There was much to do.

He had to relay to the team what he'd learnt from Penumbra, the piece of information they gave him being so precious he knew he wouldn't be able to forget no matter how messed up or hurt his brain was.

He would keep the promise between them a secret, though, because he wasn't sure how well the team would take that tidbit of knowledge or the fact that he'd risked his life, throwing himself into the rift between dimensions without proof that he would be able to survive beyond what Blue had told him.

But it had been worth it, in the end.

And they would understand when he told them that _that_ had been the only reason he'd been able to reach them and come back, the barriers between realities being thin as paper on the void and letting him hear their voices, see their reaching hands and being able to reach back.

It had been a gamble, one that paid off much more than he could've ever imagined, Penumbra's parting gift a ray of light in that limbo between worlds that had given him a reason to keep on hoping, to think that things could eventually get better.

He really couldn't wait to see the others' expressions when he told them what he knew, the words on the tip of his tongue, always ready to flow like an unforgiving flood in his excitement to share what could be the best news they had ever received.

They were going to be so _happy_.

Well, if they believed him, that was.

He sighed, his mood doing a one-eighty and plummeting down towards the ground, knowing he had no proof and no basis for what he was going to say and that the only thing the team would have to go on would be his word, and nothing else.

They would have to trust him on this, believe everything he said and have faith that he was not lying, that he wasn't making things up because of trauma or whatever happened on the other side.

He groaned in frustration.

He was getting nowhere like this, thinking about _what if's_ and things that hadn't even happened yet. He needed to get up and actually get _something_ done instead of wallowing in self-doubt and anxiety. And he needed his mind clear and filled with all the memories and events that he'd lived through, so he could retell them to his team with the utmost precision and attention to detail.

' _Hey Baby Blue_ -he booped her mind-nose with his thoughts- _you can stop now, it's enough, I'm fine.'_ She whined and huffed, her ethereal form that was curled on his chest rumbling in distress and denial.

' _You know as well as I do that you can't protect me from my past forever. What's done is done, and I need to process everything that I did, everything that I learnt, so I can tell the others the reason why I left them behind. So I can tell Allura why I betrayed her trust and put myself in danger when she had specifically told me not to.'_ Blue's rumbles were mournful and sad, her aura trying to encompass all of him, keep him warm so he would feel her presence when he was reminiscing and know he was not alone, that she had _never_ left him alone.

He smiled at the sweetness of the gesture, his chest swelling with pride even thought the mere mention of Allura made his neck ache and his heart hurt.

Blue purred against his neck with a sorrow so deep it made him want to weep, the vibrations the noise sent through his body comforting and heartbreaking at the same time, because it was like she was crying, like she was saying sorry.

 _'None of that now. I'm okay, I've rested enough, you can bring down the walls. I'll deal with the memories just like I always do, you know I'll have to, eventually.'_ She whined and curled even closer to him -even with his eyes closed, he could feel exactly where she was-, an umistakeable wave of hesitation and worry hitting him before she headbutted him on the jaw, softly.

She let it be clear that she wasn't happy about this, and he could feel the ghost of guilt in her ethereal form, twisting her cool and calming aura into a maelstrom of gloom and regret while pride and respect and love burned bright amongst them.

She rumbled once and let her barrier strengthen and harden, her last defying gesture before she relented and complied to his wishes, knowing that the barrier wouldn't last much longer, that her loving hand couldn't protect him forever.

And then she stopped pushing, and everything came falling down, the walls crumbling without her touch and allowing a flood of voices and sounds and feelings to rush back into his mind, his five senses overwhelmed and thrown into the scenes he'd already seen once.

It was like living through all of it again, and he gasped and curled on his side until it passed, a headache slowly forming on his temples while he clenched his teeth, his hand absent-mindedly seeking the warm presence and comforting touch that had been by his side before.

But when his hand reached towards that same spot, only cold and emptiness welcomed him, the space devoid of anything he could hold onto but the sheet that had once covered his mystery caretaker, who had clearly been gone for quite some time.

He clenched his fist tighter around it, and bit his lip to stop a pained groan from leaving his throat, his legs curling tight against his chest as he made himself smaller, praying that the onslaught of.... _everything_ would cease soon.

He could see all of it beneath his closed lids, all the grim faces and resigned sighs, the blood and scars and regret, the desperation and hopelessness and fear, the realization that a happy ending wasn't possible for them.

He could see Keith's terror and Alex's doubts, White's sadness and Katie's anger, their journey plagued with too much loss and too much pain, their lights dwindling and fading under the pressure of a fate they couldn't change.

He could see Allura's tears and Alfor's plea, Penumbra's darkness and their sorrow, the tender touches between Alex and Keith and the jealousy that had come unbidden and uncalled for, the anger he'd felt because he'd thought he would never meant that much to _anyone_.

But after all of that, after the dark clouds left and the blue sky opened wide above him, he saw Shay's and Hunk's wedding, Keith's and Alex's union and the tears they shed when they adopted their first child.

He saw the birth of new Altea and all the people it brought together, how it flourished and became a beacon of hope and peace for the worn down hearts of the survivors from Void's regime. He saw White's and Matt's happy future as teachers at the Garrison and Katie's achievements and the many awards she received, he saw the peace they brought and the families they formed.

He saw all the happiness and joy that came from so much suffering and sorrow, and, despite how much he'd despaired and cried, despite all the anguish and horror he'd had to go through, despite the redos he'd had to endure and the consequences that came with them, he would do it all again in a heartbeat if it meant this bright, wonderful future could be born after.

He couldn't find it in himself to regret what he did.

Just like when he's rescued Lotor, he knew deep in his chest that he wouldn't have changed any of his actions despite the clash with his teammates and the many disagreements they had after, because they felt right, because he knew they _were_ right, and he would see the end of the path he'd chosen to walk through.

He sighed in relief when the pressure behind his eyes lessened, his muscles relaxing as he lay in a heap, trembling slightly and sweating as the wave of fragmented memories and emotion washed over him, leaving him drained and spent.

There had been too many repressed memories, too much all at once.

He had known it would be difficult, but reliving everything made his heart ache, both because of the fear he'd experienced back then, and by how much he realized he would miss the other team.

Although he knew they would be okay without him, knew without a doubt that they were happy and walking towards a better future, that all his efforts paid off in the end. Otherwise he wouldn't have left, not until he was a hundred percent sure that peace was on their reach and their universe was no longer threatened.

Still, though, he would've liked to say goodbye personally, feeling bad for the abrupt way that he'd left.

Blue whined sadly from where she was resting against his collarbone, a silent apology traveling through their link and echoing in his ears with his own voice, sorrowful and gloomy, defeated.

She wasn't just apologizing for keeping the memories at bay, making it more difficult and painful for him to deal with since he had to do it all at once instead of taking his time, revisiting each event and coming to terms with them all. She was also saying sorry for sending him to the other side, for putting such a weight on his shoulders and have him carry the incommensurable amount of responsibility that was another world's fate.

His Blue felt guilty for everything that happened, he could feel it through their bond, the emotion dark and all-encompassing, filling her headspace in dark clouds that threatened to burst into storm, her inner turmoil making him ache for her.

But he knew she hadn't seen another way out, another choice.

The images she sent were confusing and wordless, just a quick succession of objects and places, colors and people and stars that, together, created the meaning of what she couldn't say.

She had been desperate to help Alex, to save the other version of him and his future, her love extending to every universe and reality and every paladin she'd ever had, her eyes reaching to the farthest confines of existence to eventually land on Lance.

Lance, who had rescued White, not knowing who he was at the time but not caring because it was Shiro, and any version of his teammate deserved to be happy, real or not.

Lance, who'd been by White's side and who held the other's trust, who the other had pleaded to so he would be able to find out who he was, who'd shared his memories and bonded with him and had discovered that there was more going on that met the eye.

Lance, who had agreed to help the other get back home because he understood how hard it was missing his family, who unconditionally trusted Blue and her belief that he was doing the right thing, who was the only one _relatively safe_ from danger.

He who could not die, who could search for a solution to the other Team's problem without a time constraint, who could find the truth in ways the others' wouldn't have been able to, who was linked to White and saw and understood more than he would've liked, who had a set of abilities and skills that would let him see the reality of what was happening beneath all the lies and deceit.

She had chosen him for many reasons, some of which only she -and the lions- were privy to, and, as much as she hadn't liked it, as much as she'd hated to put him in danger, she had known that he would be successful, had believed he could do it and bring peace to a fading existence, save one of the many worlds that meant so much to her.

She was proud of him. So, so proud, and happy and relieved.

And that, coupled with the small glimpse of the future Blue had gifted him with, was enough for him, more than enough. Blue was the only one that had ever held such immovable faith in him, the only one that had wholeheartedly believed in him despite his faults and weaknesses, despite his fears and self-doubt.

And to this day, he's still as grateful as the very first time she'd said she trusted him, no questions asked, no motives needed, her voice ethereal and all-encompassing as she'd whispered in a mix of distorted sounds that she loved him, he was her paladin, hers and no one else.

He was bright and honest, brave and loving and held a strength that ran deeper than he could imagine, shining bright inside his core.

And she needed _no more._

So that's why he'd been more than happy to fulfill her plea for help when she'd asked that of him, desperate and sad, mourning for a universe that was nearing it's end if no one did anything about it, crying for the torn down family of her other paladin who'd been snatched away from his home, twisting that other reality's fate into something dark and dreadful.

He regretted nothing.

Not when he'd managed to obtain such an important piece of information as payment for his efforts, not when he'd witnessed the future that he'd brought to the people resembling his loved ones, their souls sharing the same shade and warmth.

Not when he'd saved a pitiful creature from a lonely death, being there on their final moments to witness the sorrow that came from isolation and yearning, and the small spark of hope he'd ignited in their core with a small promise.

A promise he would fulfill, no matter what.

He was okay with what happened, now, accepted it as a part of himself, as another step in his chosen path.

Kind of like a deviation from the main route, a side quest that gave him what he needed to advance the main story, to find what everyone had been seeking for.

The emotional pain and turmoil he'd lived through had been distressing, nearly breaking him in more than one occasion, and his redos hadn't been pretty, either, they had hurt more than he could've ever imagined, his heart aching for every truth he found out, for every betrayal he uncovered.

But they hadn't been meaningless, they had purpose, and he'd made the best of them, brought freedom and stability to a fading universe and all the life it held.

And now the past was _done_ , another chapter finished in his book of life, and he needed to move forward towards a new day.

A low whisper and a fleeting touch on the hand that rested atop his chest startled him out of his musings, only now noticing that the others had joined him in his resting place, eager to feel him near.

He felt Black rumble questioningly, soundlessly asking for his well being while Green and Yellow were curled on his side, just content with having him near, and Red purred softly -almost sadly- against his left cheek, her ethereal form nuzzling him as if to catch his attention.

The four of them were reaching out to him, sending images and sounds that meddled together into a kaleidoscope of colors that lost their meaning, too much being processed at the same time, aggravating his already escalating headache.

Black rumbled, then, and the onslaught of... _everything_ stopped, leaving just one particular moment in time sent by all the lions in tandem, one phrase taken from a time when he'd been slightly hurt and Hunk had asked about his health, worried for his sake.

 _'Are you okay? Does it hurt? Do you need something?_ ' He inwardly smiled at the distorted voices, knowing they weren't referring to physical pain, but rather the emotional kind.

It was a difficult question for sure, he still had a long way to go before he could open up and actively search for help, but after his talk with the other Keith, he was going to work on it, be better. It would be a slow process, but he wasn't going to give up, this time, he wasn't going to run away anymore.

He just needed some time to process everything and deal with his emotions accordingly, because even though he'd come to terms with what had that transpired on the other side, it didnt mean that he wasn't going to be anxious if he ever saw Allura hold a sword or one of their enemies ended putting him in a chokehold.

Those things would undoubtedly make him panic.

But all things considered....he _was_ okay, he had more important things to do right now, anyway, he couldn't afford to dawdle too much. He relayed this to all the lions, sending them his thoughts and feelings through the bond with Blue and feeling the wave of relief and content that they sent back, their murmurs dimming after they caught wind of his discomfort.

He appreciated that, and after a few ticks filled with nothing but purrs and rumbles and warmth that lessened the tension on his temples, his robotic companions decided to leave, satisfied of having made sure that he was fine, knowing that he was stubborn and wouldn't rest until his current objective was fulfilled.

Blue and Red were the last to go, the first not wanting to, and the latter curling her tail around his arm as if she was trying to tell him something, her frustration almost palpable as she seemed to vibrate even thought she technically didn't posses a physical, material body.

Red whined and images suddenly assaulted his mind and senses at such speed he barely caught a glimpse of an angry shouting face, cheeks wet with tears, sunken blue eyes with dark circles under them, a frown that turned into a scowl- more angry shouting- _denial_ \- sadness - _regret_ \- and a desperate blurred face, desolate as it called his name.

It was too convoluted and quick for him to really see or understand what it meant, and Red just headbutted his jaw once before her presence faded, too, leaving him with just Blue, who was reluctant to abandon his side, her aura curling around his wrist in a tight hold that she didn't seem to want to break.

But she eventually had to, they both knew that.

As much as they enjoyed each other's presence and the feeling of safety, completion and calm it brought, he couldn't stall any longer.

Didn't want to, either.

He had to find the others and say the words that were on the tip of his tongue, his excitement getting the best of him at the prospect of finally taking a step in the right direction and giving his family some good news in these dreadful times.

Give them _hope_.

And Blue understood, she purred once before her presence vanished like mist, slipping through his fingers and leaving the room in complete silence sans the sound of his own breathing, deep and slow, relaxed. He would have loved nothing more than to stay where he was for a few more hours, indulge into the softness of the sheets, warm against his skin, and the feel that nothing was amiss.

But at the same time he thrummed with anticipation, his body vibrating with a mighty need to get up and run. Run until he found his teammates, his family, yearning to hug every single one of them and hear their voices call his name, see their faces and the expressions they would make when they saw him and listened to what he had to say.

He wondered if they would be happy. If _Keith_ would.

He didn't know if having he red paladin present when he spoke was the right thing to do. It wasn't like he doubted the words Penumbra had told him, they had no reason to lie when their existence was fading. But he didn't want to give Keith false hope if they ended up grasping at straws and going back to square one.

He also had no idea if the red paladin was going to glare at him all throughout the meeting or if he could tolerate Lance now that they'd been apart for some time.

A few days might have been enough to lessen the amount or anger Keith held towards him, but even so, he doubted the other was going to listen if they told him to stay away, even when it was for his own good, he was stubborn like that, fiery.

The red paladin.

As red as the bright velvet bracelet that -among the others'- had become his hope, his way home when he'd been despairing on the other side, like a beacon showing him the way, broken and faded and not even close to whole, but _there_. Showing him that all was not lost, that he could still make amends with Keith and save their friendship.

He only had to give him time, wait till Keith himself reached out to him or his anger faded away enough for Lance to apologize.

And he would, when the time came.

Meanwhile, though, he would work on waking up and searching for his missing teammates ,even though he felt lazy enough to just lay there forever and call it a day.

But he couldn't do that.

So he brushed away any unwanted thoughts - brushed them aside for another time- and set about to asses his condition and see whether or not he could move, considering the first time he woke.

The first thing he noticed was that his limbs felt like lead, heavy and unresponsive.

They hurt and cramped every few seconds and he felt like they were frozen stiff, it was difficult to move anything at all, and he couldn't help the groan that left his lips when he tried to rise his hand. The pain wasn't unbearable, but it was extremely uncomfortable, he was sore all over and there was no part of him that didn't ache.

Unless he didn't move, that was.

The results of going through a rift in space, no doubt.

He was glad he survived, don't get him wrong, but he could have done without the pain. At least his vertigo was mostly gone, and the world didn't become a swirl of colors and shapes that spined around dizzyingly when he opened his eyes.

The glaring lights above made him squint, even thought he realized that they were dimmed -probably on night-time mode- and if even something so mild was upsetting his eyes, he might have had them closed for a long time.

Which wasn't a reassuring thought.

He blinked a few times to focus his sight, recognizing the ceiling as the one in the common room, white and high, empty save for the luminescent bio-lights that Coran had installed a few months into their journey.

To give the castle more of a ' _homey_ ' feeling, he'd said.

He let a small smile bloom on his face at the memory and averted his gaze, looking to the right and seeing the couch where they always sat during their free time, his head usually on Hunk's lap and feet on Pidge's, something that he knew she disliked but let him do anyway, when she felt like it.

There was a stain on the downright corner from that time he did a flip over the couch and ended up bumping his head on the floor, small droplets of both blood and the orange drink on the table -that to this day he still doesn't know what it was- splashing the cloth and leaving a perpetual mark that he liked to call ' _The sunset'_ , mostly because he thought it looked like one.

It was more proof and, for him, the ultimate reassurance that he was, indeed, home.

He couldn't have kept the grin off his face even if he tried, even though the motion hurt his cheeks from the width of it and made his eyes water. Happiness and joy and relief in equal measure took over, warmth encompassing and filling out the hollow void in his chest from being surrounded by familiar settings, familiar smells, familiar auras in the distance, familiar rumbles and creaks and _noise._

Home.

God, he'd missed everyone so much.

He missed all their smiles and laughs, his friendly banter with Acxa and the brotherly teasing between Narti and himself, the training sessions with Zethrid and the sleepovers with Lotor and anyone who wanted to join. He missed the warmth of their auras, the nights spent braiding Lotor's hair or teaching Ezor how to knit, he missed the cooking classes with Hunk and the joint projects with Pidge, sharing routines with Allura and playing with the mice.

He missed the feeling of belonging that always stole his heart whenever he was with Lotor and their sisters or -as of lately- his own teammates. He missed it all, and he wanted it _back_.

His heart beat twice it's rate in anticipation.

But for any of that to happen again, for them to reunite, it looked like he had to get up first, since no one seemed to be in close quarters from him.

He had his sight on, he could tell.

So he took in a deep breath, focused all his efforts and energy, and began trying to move his limbs with varying degrees of success.

He directed all his attention towards his hands first, which were closed into fists and didn't seem to want to relax and open, his fingers hurting from how stiff they were and his nails nearly digging into his palm.

It was a difficult task, but one by one, he managed to pry them open, carefully unfurling them and listening to the way they cracked, the noise kind of disturbing.

After what seemed like hours for him but were probably only minutes, his hands were both finally free, clenching and unclenching numerous times until his grip felt strong and stable, his eyes raking over his palms for any sign of blood and being satisfied when he found none.

He did the same with his arms and legs, slowly -almost painstakingly so- working through the paralysis, the cramps he experienced as the muscles stiffened and the feeling came back to them overwhelming and distracting, keeping all his senses focused on the awful sensation.

The unbearable pain as he waited them out was something he wouldn't wish on anyone.

Well, except Zarkon, maybe.

That thought was quickly wiped from his mind as another cramp on his calf made him whimper, teeth biting his lip as he tried to keep himself from groaning or screaming, the sensation getting stronger and stronger, like a dial had been turned up, a feeling akin to static taking over the limb and making things increasingly difficult for him.

It eventually faded, like the first four ones he had, and he panted and fanned himself with his hand as if that would make the lava flowing inside his veins cool down, as if that would make the sweat disappear and his lungs stop burning.

Why did breathing _hurt_? Honestly, the more awoke his body got, the more symptoms he kept on getting, and so far, he hadn't tried his voice, since just sighing or sucking in air made his airways feel raw and tender, like they were bleeding with each inhale.

He was in worst shape than he'd thought.

He closed his eyes in frustration, anxiety and the need to hurry bubbling under his skin, urging him to move, do _something_ besides laying there in a useless heap, burning precious time that he could have spent looking for or talking to his teammates.

Impatience and yearning mixed with worry alongside a wave of unadulterated fear, his brain coming up with worst case scenarios and the reality that, maybe, something had gone wrong, maybe something had happened while he was asleep and he woke up to witness the aftermath.

Alone.

His eyes watered at the mere thought, tears ready to fall down his cheeks as he sniffled. Those intrusive thoughts came unbidden and burdened him with stress he didn't need, and he knew that they were not true, Blue and the other lions would have been rampaging if that was the case.

He _knew_ that, but his mind refused to listen, and he was left with a half panic attack that had no reason to be, to begin with.

God, he must've looked so pathetic right now.

But he just needed to see _someone_ , he really didn't want to be on his own.

He'd thought that everyone had been sleeping with him before, when he was out of it. But he woke up to an empty room and no warmth left on the sheets, and he was beginning to question his sanity even as Blue whined sadly and shook her metaphorical head at him, asking him to _wait_.

But he couldn't wait anymore, pain and discomfort be damned.

He was going to get up and find his teammates before he drowned into the downright spiral of his own uncontrolled thoughts. He needed to see anyone familiar to calm down, needed to speak the words that were stuck in his throat, fighting to get out, like razor sharp knives lodged into his esophagus, tearing at the skin as the words struggled for freedom.

It was like he couldn't control his reactions, reflexes, impulses or emotions, right now. Everything was out of whack, _too much_ and too intense, he didn't know why the thought of being alone frightened him so, and he was getting scared, he needed someone, anyone.

 _Now_.

He yelled, like a battle cry preceding a war, and with all the force he could muster -however little that may be - forced his body to sit upright in a rather abrupt motion, the effort such a small action took leaving him breathless and drained like he'd ran a marathon.

His vision swayed slightly, and he had to lean on his hands to avoid falling sideways, his head lolling about like it weighted a ton while his arms struggled to hold his weight. His ears rang with an unheard siren and the noise seemed to white out, leaving him in a confused daze that took more time to fade than it should've, the echo of his own heartbeat thrumming loudly over everything else.

He still managed to catch the pounding of footsteps, though.

Abruptly, the door on the far end of the room opened, and he barely had a tick to focus on the figure standing there before his name was screamed to the high heavens and he found himself with an armful of white hair and fair lavender skin, the arms wrung tight around his back warm and comforting.

 _Familiar_.

The body against his shook slightly, tremors raking the man's limbs as he kneeled there, holding him tight like the other was afraid he would disappear if he so much as stopped touching him, one hand cupping the nape of his neck while the other ran up and down his spine, soothing the stiffness and tension he hadn't noticed he had.

"Lance. Brother. _Lance_." His name was uttered in something akin to desperation, a landslide of other emotions following through like a flood, unstoppable and quick, passing by in rapid succession and making him reel from the intensity of them all.

He caught wind of an overwhelming sense of relief tinged with worry, love and pain and hope and a shrouding bout of guilt that he couldn't understand and made no sense.

But grounded him with a swiftness he hadn't thought possible, his unreasonable panic and unease fading with every tender touch he received, his nerves settling and his anxiety dwindling the more he spent on his brother's embrace, something he'd never thought he'd experience once more.

Or ever again, for that matter.

But that wasn't important now. Lotor was there, with his long, silky hair and his silly formal shirt that he knew Lance loved because of how ugly it was, the yellows and purples and browns clashing with each other in a way that made that piece of cloth an affront to fashion, an inside joke between them that only they understood.

A familiar memory that made everything a little clearer, a little better.

He moved his arms and brought the other closer, smelling his shampoo - something similar to coconut- and the subtle, earthy smell all his clothes seemed to have, mixing with the scent of metal and iron from all the armor he usually wore.

He was brought back from his sensory haze when he thought he felt something wet on his neck, and realised with growing horror that Lotor was crying, his head resting against Lance's shoulder while he wept.

His throat burnt even worse now after the scream he'd let free, but he needed to talk to Lotor, tell him he was okay, ask him why he was drowning in sorrow and relief alike while regret and remorse seemed to find themselves a home in his chest.

So, with great difficulty, he gulped down once and fought the whimper that threatened to escape his lips, opening his mouth and breathing deep a few times before even trying to utter a single sound.

"Lo-....tor." His voice was wrecked and completely shot. Every letter grated against his vocal chords and made the muscles there shake with exertion, the strain of just a single word seemingly too much for him to handle right now, causing a coughing fit to take over, leaving him breathless.

But his attempt fulfilled it's purpose, in the end.

Lotor stilled and squeezed him tight for a tick, his gasps and the hitching of his breath painful to listen to while he proceeded to slowly disentangle himself from Lance, his hands traveling from his back to his arms, going down until they rested softly on his wrists as the prince backed away a little, no more than at arms' length.

"You are awake."He looked up into the face of his Galran brother, focusing more on his features now that they were so close.

And regretting it almost instantly.

If he hadn't know who he was talking to, he might not have recognized him at all. The skin that he previously thought had looked fair and unblemished, was in reality ashen and sickly, sporting deep dark circles under his eyes and slightly dry lips that seemed cracked, like he'd bit through them just like Lance did when he was anxious.

His white silky hair, always soft and taken care of, lay now tangled in a bundle of split ends and knots that looked almost painful, it's usual lustrous shine and natural curls now gone, leaving behind a mess that looked unkept and neglected, more than a rat's nest than anything.

His haggard and ragged appearance was a shock, just like the dimmed lights of his always determined eyes was, just like the tired bend of his spine and the scars covering his hands were. He looked worn and exhausted and more than a little stressed out, seeming to have aged years in the small expanse of time he'd been gone.

He gaped, uncomprehending, and tried to work his mouth to ask what was going on, why he looked like he got through hell and back, what he'd missed, what had gone wrong, his anxiety rising in intensity once more with each passing second.

But then Lotor's hand cupped his cheek and the prince smiled, small but true, his eyes crinkling and shining with unshed tears that made the blue stand out against the yellow sclera and the dim lights in the room.

And any words he might have had died on his lips as he stared, starstruck, as his brother lit up with so much happiness and joy that it made his aura flare and rekindle like a long lost flame had returned to set him alight, burning him inside out.

"I'm so _happy_ you're alive, that you've returned to us, I'm so- I was -we were _so_ worried." The prince's lips trembled as he spoke, his hand feeling warm against Lance's cheek as the thumb caressed the skin there with a tenderness that evoked in him the same sense of familiarity and belonging the Galran and his sisters usually made him feel.

" Everyone was concerned about your well being, but _I_ thought I was going to die from the uncertainty of the fate that had befallen you, my instincts practically went haywire when you cut us off. We couldn't contact you, we lost all forms of communication, and Blue wouldn't answer to any of us, she wouldn't tell us _anything_. We thought you were- I-" Lance moved the hand that was busy embracing Lotor and brought it around towards himself, rising it slowly to press a finger on his brother's lips, hoping he understood the message and kept silent for a while.

He was confused, he didn't understand what was happening, couldn't comprehend any of it. And he couldn't even answer or ask anything because his voice was shot and his body wouldn't cooperate. They couldn't have a conversation like this, and Lotor needed to calm down, he looked like he was going to have a stroke, unusually pale and shaking like a leaf with shiny eyes brimming with tears.

Lance had to restrain himself from crying at the sight, too.

Slowly, he moved the finger and brought it to his throat, pointing at it and shaking his head once before opening and closing his mouth, trying to convey his problem to the other.

Thankfully, the prince seemed to catch on quickly, because his eyes widened to impossible levels and he gasped, squeezing Lance's wrist softly before letting go and getting up, running to the other side of the room before proceeding to rummage through one of the drawers.

A tick later, Lotor knelt before him again, holding a tiny vial in between his cupped hands, the liquid a mixture between blue and pink, swirling strangely like it was alive and making him raise an eyebrow in distrust.

An expression he then directed at Lotor, silently asking about it's safety for human consumption, knowing that alteans and humans had genetically different bodies, which meant different reactions to some components.

The Galran laughed, although it sounded choked and faint, the noise echoing around them in the stillness of night-time alongside a shuddering wave of protectiveness and love that Lance felt to his core, the strength of such emotions rattling his very soul.

"Do not worry, it's not Altean medicine. Zethrid made it specially for when you woke up, knowing that your throat would be sore, after what you went through..." Lotor seemed to get lost inside his thoughts -or maybe memories- and a shadow of pain and sorrow crossed his yellow-blue eyes, his brows furrowed in clear displeasure at whatever he was reminiscing.

He had no idea what the prince was seeing in his mind's eye, or what could have brought such a heartbroken, wrenched expression to his face, but it was obvious they were due to a catch up, he couldn't take being in the dark anymore, he _needed_ some clarifying and an explanation, and he was sure his teammates expected one as well.

But for that, his voice needed to come back, and he trusted Zethrid's skills and knowledge with all his heart, knowing she would never make anything that would hurt him. So he took the vial without hesitation from his brother's hands and gulped it down in one go, humming in surprise when it tasted uncannily similar to strawberries.

The concoction felt cool as it traveled down his throat, and he could feel the fire that had been burning his words away get frozen and then chiseled until nothing remained but a light ache that was completely bearable.

He inhaled and exhaled loudly, closing his eyes to feel the air filling his lungs, this time without the added bonus of molten lava on his esophagus, the sensation natural and unconscious, requiring no strain whatsoever and feeling heavenly.

Absentmindedly, he touched his throat, relishing in the sensation of being able to breathe normally and without pain, the rest of his discomfort and nerves fizzling out with his next exhale, making him feel light and leveled, like still waters after a storm.

He sighed once more and then blinked his eyes open, watching as his brother's face came into focus, his head tilted and eyes filled with expectation and a jittery kind of restlessness, as if he was waiting for something to happen. And he realized with a start that it was Lance's voice that Lotor was itching to hear, his blue eyes drifting to his throat and lips without meaning to every few seconds.

He complied as soon as he understood his silent plea. Anything to make his family smile once more, to make the darkness vanish from his burdened eyes.

"Hey....you come here often?" The silence stretched on for a minute, making him sweat and fear that he'd say the wrong thing, that his brother would be mad at his carefree, joking attitude and chastise him for his irresponsibility.

But then Lotor laughed, loud and unrestrained, not holding back anything, neither his joy, nor the few stray tears cascading down his cheeks and his heart wrenching relief, his hands stretched forward as if looking for purchase in Lance's arms.

The prince practically threw himself at him once more, full of the same nervous energy he'd sported when he first entered the room, but moving with his usual grace and mindful of the force he used, probably worried about hurting him.

Lotor knocked their foreheads together, breathing in an out in what he recognized was a calming exercise, muttering some nonsense that -from what Lance guessed- was meant to try and convince himself that this was _real_ , that Lance was really _there_ , that he was back home in one piece.

The prince reassured himself in breathy whispers that he hadn't lost another family member, that he hadn't failed Lance, that all their efforts paid off and they'd done good not giving up.

It broke his heart -for more reasons than one-, and made him realize that there were still more challenges coming his way, that the decision he'd taken to destroy the portal might have had consequences he knew nothing about, that the people he called family might have suffered because of his choices, with no proof nor insight of his well-being.

Wondering.

It wasn't like he regretted what he did, not by a long shot. He did what he had to to protect those he loved, his world, his family, their _future_. It might had been selfish of him, and he had the feeling he was going to get an earful anytime soon, but he would do it all again if it meant his teammates would be safe.

And besides, he hadn't come back empty handed. He was sure that what he had to say would please his friends and allies alike, bring a new era to Voltron and the universe, a new hope of defeating the empire. He just had to gather everyone and drop the bomb.

He couldn't wait.

"Lance, is so good to hear your voice again. For...quite some time, I thought I would never get to listen to it calling my name ever again. It was....terrifying, the idea of a future without you." The prince's voice broke slightly as he spoke, his words growing more and more choked until he felt the other was going to cry again.

But he didn't, he shakily gulped in some air and opened his eyes, now determined and fiery, his gaze raking over Lance's body as if checking for any visible damage or discomfort.

The intensity of his gaze made him squirm where he sat, and he felt the need to explain himself, excuse his actions or at least give the other some insight as to _why_ he did it.

"I.....I'm sorry I just....I felt like I had no choice, it was the right thing to do. If those people had found out the gate......it would have put all of you -and our reality- in danger. I couldn't allow that." He tried to infuse his words with the same conviction and passion he'd felt back then, the same fire that had sizzled warm in his chest and made him act without conscious thought, the only thing in his mind his friends' safety.

"I understand that, I truly do. It was the correct decision, at the time, and I'm sure any warrior would have chosen to do the same, given the circumstances. But Lance....brother, you- you have no idea what....what these past _two months_ have done to us." He felt himself freeze, the blood in his veins turning to ice as his heart skipped a beat, seeming to slow as he processed the murmured words and then stopping abruptly when their meaning finally processed in his brain.

Two months...

_Two months?!_

"Wha- what do you mean _two months_!?" His voice sounded hysterical, he knew, but he was past the point of caring, his lungs hurting with every wheezing breath he tried to take.

"It's barely been _five days_! That- tha- it's not possible! Why-? His voice died in his tongue, and he abruptly remembered a conversation between White and the others, the one where he'd explained that two years had passed for him, whilst his teammates told him it had been two weeks at most since he'd disappeared.

Time dilation, Katie had said.

The space between realities worked differently, time moved on in incongruous ways, passing faster on this side. Although it probably could have been worse if he hadn't been stuck in the void between space and time, the fold in dimensions where an instant could be a life-time and there existed nothing but the fragments of worlds that bled into it occasionally.

It could have been seven months worth of lost time -if he'd counted right- if Penumbra's rift hadn't messed the timeline a bit, it was mind blowing and scary.

 _God_ , he hadn't accounted for this.

He groaned and crumpled against Lotor, his hands looking for purchase and clutching tightly onto the ugly shirt his brother was wearing, his fingers hurting from the force of his grip. He shook his head as if to rid himself of the maelstrom of thoughts swirling inside his mind, but he couldn't get rid of the guilt stuck in his throat at the thought of having abandoned his team for _two whole months._

How much had they changed in that lapse of time? How many things had happened that he knew nothing about? How much had they grown in his absence? Was he really _needed_ , if they managed to go on without him? How much worse could it had been if seven months had passed?

He didn't want to think about it, but he couldn't stop, either. He was panicking again, but this time he had a reason for it, and there was something else nagging at the back of his mind, but he couldn't figure out what it was in the state he found himself in.

"Lance....hey, it's fine. Breathe, please, I didn't mean to upset you. I had an inkling you wouldn't know how much time had passed, and I was going to tell you anyway....but I handled it poorly. I'm sorry if I overwhelmed you." Lotor's hand ran through his hair up and down in a a soothing motion, the other one running circles on his back while he whispered apologies and reassurances that all was fine, all was good, he was _home_ and that was what mattered.

But still, that lost time would never come back, and although he still didn't regret his actions, he mourned the loss and tried to come to terms with it.

"It's....it's okay, it's not your fault. When I destroyed the gate, I was acting more out of...incstinct than anything. I only wanted to keep you all safe, it was all I could think about in that moment. And then, afterwards I....I never thought I would get to come back home, not until the end, at least.... So I didn't worry about the specifics or....the consequences that would emerge if I finally did." He inhaled through his nose a few times and tried to calm his racing heart, the soothing voice of the other a welcome distraction that helped brush away the heavy weight of the remorse and sorrow he now carried.

"I brought this upon myself, it's action and reaction all over again, basic physics." He laughed, self-deprecating, and tried to hide the sniffs and the hoarse tone of his voice, even thought he knew Lotor could see right through him, his eyes filled with sadness and pain as his hands tried to soothe him with their tender touches.

"Maybe you should rest some more? Zethrid told me you would feel quite uncomfortable when you woke up, you must be hurting." The softness and tenderness in Lotor's tone made something melt inside Lance's racing chest, and, despite everything, he felt himself smile, the expression coming unbidden and unannounced, but not unwelcome.

It warmed his heart that the one he'd come to consider part of his mismatched family still held such affection towards him -even after such a long time- that he didn't hold against Lance the actions that he'd deemed correct at the time, when the fear of losing everything he loved had been stronger than the fear of being torn apart from them forever.

He'd really missed them, _all_ of them.

"I missed you." He muttered." It's been just a few days to me, but it was-....I thought I would never see any of you again, I......the thought of you guys was the only thing that kept me going, knowing I was doing it to protect you gave me the strength I needed to go on." And that was nothing but the truth.

In those hard times when he'd thought about giving up, when he'd believed that all hope was lost, he'd remembered his teammates' smiling faces and his promise to come back home, and soldiered on.

No matter the adversity, no matter the foe or the pain, despite the darkness lurking at every corner and the dread following him around, he'd fought them all with the hope -small as it might had been- of returning to the place he belonged to.

His arrival might not have been the best scenario, the return he'd imagined. The one where he came back to find things as he left them, with a lecture waiting for him and hugs at every turn, smiles all around to welcome him home. But that was no one's fault but his own, and he would have to deal with the aftermath of his choices like he always did, with pride and courage, knowing in his heart he'd done the right thing.

"I need to see the others, everyone. There are many things I have to tell them, it's really important, resting can wait." He gazed upon the concerned eyes of his brother, and watched as a small, tentative smile lit up his features, his eyes shining with pride and a fondness that made it seem like no time had passed at all.

It was comforting.

"I will gather everyone, but I must warn you, our sisters are...jittery, and your teammates had a hard time while you were gone. They probably won't let you talk before their own opinions are known. I will try to quench their eagerness before bringing them here but...it's not going to be pleaseant." He groaned from deep within his gut, anxiousness and dread filling his chest in equal parts at the verbal onslaught he was about to receive.

He knew it was long overdue and completely justified, and even moreso when so much time had passed for his friends. But it still made him tremble where he sat, a nervous shaking fueled by adrenaline raking his body from his toes to his fingertips and all the way to his head.

By the time this day ended, he was going to have one hell of a migraine.

He'd only wanted to see the people he cared for smile at him once again, dammit, he just wanted to hold them and touch them, hear their laugh and feel their auras swirling around their hearts, feel the pulse of their quintessence as it sneaked around his wrist -which he still hadn't looked at, out of fear more than anything else.

But it looked like all of those things would have to wait, and now that he was where he was meant to be, he didn't mind it as much - even thought he minded, a lot.

But an hour of delay seemed inconsequential when not so long ago he'd come to accept that he would never hear his friend's voices ever again, that he wouldn't get to receive Pidge's weird hugs or Hunk's bone-breaking squeezes or Allura's stern, but caring advice on how to better his technique and develop his senses.

 _So_ , as much as he dreaded what might happen in a little while, he was ready to take all of it, if only for the fact that he would get to see everyone again, his family, and finally set his worries at ease.

Movement to his right caught his attention, and he watched as Lotor stood up, brushing his bangs from his pale forehead and letting out a weary sight that seemed to empty him of all energy, his shoulders sagging under an invisible weight that Lance couldn't see, special sight and all.

"I'll go inform everyone that you're awake and that they need to regroup on one of the unoccupied common rooms then, if that's alright." He nodded, sending a small, wavering smile towards the prince that the other returned, albeit his own was more mournful and depleted of spark than the light, bouncy one the Galran sent back before leaving the room in a flourish, his silver hair trailing behind him as he stepped trough the automated doors.

Finally alone once more, he let himself fall sideways, hitting the mattress with a soft thud that echoed throughout the room and filled the stifling silence that intended to suffocate him.

He didn't know what to think, how to feel.

He was missing pieces of an incomplete puzzle that had been broken and scattered when he wasn't present, and now he was left to imagine the events that had led to its destruction without a clue on where to even begin.

He was left completely in the dark - with quite the irony, his own brain supplied him that this was how his team must have felt- and his mind was swirling with the unfounded fear that things might have changed, or taken a turn for the worst as the time that had transpired for both parties was disparate, meaning anything could have happened and he was none the wiser.

He supposed he could have asked Blue, but she'd been too worried, she wouldn't have said anything that could have potentially saddened or upset him when he was so weak. She was kind like that, overprotective to a fault and sweet like no other.

She was really the best, his Blue.

He wondered if she'd had fun with Allura as she piloted her in this reality while she talked with Lance on the other one -how did that even work?- if they had gotten used to each other after spending so much time together, just like Keith had done with Black and he with Red, bonding with them as they fought and experienced a myriad of adventures and many other things together.

He'd really missed the lions a lot, their patience and understanding, their support, their cuddles and affection and the weird way they had to try and cheer him up, nuzzling him and purring like engines when they thought he was sad. Blue loved to do that, and Red too, now that he thought about....it....

Oh.

_Oh no._

He sat up so fast he got whiplash, and his head swam while his vision darkened for a few ticks, bright spots dancing in his eyes as he blinked, the room swirling and fading in and out of focus as dizziness took over his senses for a minute, leaving him disoriented and wobbly.

He curled into a ball and tried to will the world to stop spinning, his stomach doing flips as nausea rose on his throat, his eyes watering with the onslaught of sensations overwhelming every inch of his body that refused to listen to his commands.

God, he was in worse shape than he'd thought.

But even worse was the realization he'd come to.

Back then, when he'd come to the conclusion that he had no other choice but to destroy the gate, he'd sent Blue back through the gate to keep her safe, because he knew Allura could pilot her if the need arose, because he'd wanted to be cautious and prevent anyone from the other side to ever learn about his reality, his world.

He'd thought that, if he could ever go back, it would be in a few days, weeks at most, and that meanwhile, his team would be okay, they could function just fine without him and he'd known that. They were strong and resourceful, they would be okay.

And then he'd come to accept that maybe he was stuck on the other side forever, and problems arose one after another, making him forget about the consequences that his absence was going to cause, his mind solely focused on taking down Penumbra and fulfilling his mission.

He hadn't been able to see anything but what was in front of him, the intensity of his battles and his worries blinding him to everything else.

But now he could _see_.

He could see his mistake, he could see what he'd done.

And it was _horrible_.

With neither him nor Shiro there to pilot their respective lions, and even with Allura piloting Blue and Keith Black.....who had been there to pilot Red?

He screeched hysterically, the horrible images and scenarios filling his mind making him gag and crouch forward, hands and knees on the floor as he heaved, eyes scrunched tight in a vain attempt to stop the tears that wanted to escape his closed lids.

Wheezing and clutching his chest, he curled in on himself and let the terrifying weight of reality crush him ruthlessly, the guilt piling up and up as he remembered Lotor's haggard, worn down appearance and the tired and devastated edge to his voice and the scars that only now meant something to him and-

He bit his lip in an attempt to swallow the sob building up in his throat.

He'd left them _vulnerable_ , alone. He'd left them defenceless and incomplete while the Galra most likely continued their relentless attacks, probably causing more harm than he'd like to imagine, more than he could take.

And then, surely, as time had passed by, their enemy must have eventually noticed, they must have seen that a lion was always missing, that Voltron was _never_ formed.

Because he'd let them unable to do so.

For two whole months.

 _God_.

That he felt bad was an understandment. The barrage of emotions he'd felt after waking up were nothing compared to the heart wrenching agony he was experiencing now, it was tearing him apart. If he would have been missing for just the four or five days that he'd lived through, it would have been okay, everyone on the team was strong and smart, they could find ways to strive on and survive.

But two months....there was no way the Galra hadn't seen a pattern.

In the beginning, the team probably had Keith switch between Black and Red in an attempt to make it seem like all the lions were active and they were just strategically refusing to use some of them, battle tactics and what not.

But the empire wasn't just packed full of idiots; there were soldiers, strategists, warriors and druids, and they knew a weakness when they saw one, they recognized patterns and holes in defense when they appeared, and he was sure they had exploited each and every single one of the ones he'd caused.

He wondered if he had hallucinated the cuddle pile he'd woken in, if it had been just his tired and lonely mind making up a nice dream for him so he wouldn't break because the others couldn't bear to be in his presence now. It would make sense, though, because after that, he'd woken up alone, with no trace of anyone having ever been in the room, and no one had come look for him either, he'd been left completely alone.

Were the others okay? Were they mad at _him_? Did they hate him now, for endangering them and the universe and leaving them powerless? Were they hurt? Was someone- did someone- _please no,_ not his friends, not his _family_.

He wouldn't be able to live with himself if his actions had caused someone to- to-

"Lance? Oh my g- Lance!" Footsteps thrummed loudly in his ringing ears, the rumble traveling through the floor and rattling inside his ribcage, the noise sounding muffled and distorted without apparent reason, making him whimper in distress.

Soft hands carefully pried his own from where they were covering his ears -ah, that was why he couldn't hear right- and arms raised his body up until it was resting against something warm and smooth, some kind of thumping noise vibrating close by and making him focus on it without conscious thought.

He listened to it with all his might, counting each thump and breathing in tandem with them, his eyes closed while he tried to ground himself, find his balance.

After what seemed like hours, his mind finally came down from the stress-induced panic attack, and he recognized the vibrating sound as someone's heartbeat, his own head resting against someone's chest being the reason he was able to hear it.

Ashamed and still a little perturbed by his previous thoughts, he slowly raised his head while his hands still clutched onto the piece of cloth in front of him, and his eyes landed on the concerned, pale face of his brother ,who was soothingly rubbing his back and running his fingers through his hair, expression tight.

An unbidden, unexpected thought came to him, just then, the fact that those fingers were not the same ones that had brushed his hair so tenderly when he'd been asleep before.

But of course he didn't know if that had been a dream or not, so...

"Lance.....are you okay? What happened?" Lotor's voice carried worry and anxiety in equal measure, and he quickly composed himself so he could reassure him, lie some so he could wipe that sorrowful, pinched look from his brother's face.

He straightened and opened his mouth to answer, but as soon as his eyes focused more intently on Lotor's face, the only thing that came from his lips was a high pitched noise, akin to a squeal or a yelp, echoing throughout the room like a distress signal.

And he was. Distressed, that is.

"Wha- what have you done to your hair!?" His voice was embarrassingly high and hysterical for something so mundane and normal, but he was shocked and flabbergasted and couldn't take away his eyes from Lotor's head, more specifically his _hair_.

Which now barely reached his ears, cut immensely short on the right side while the other one was longer, the fringe tucked to the side behind his ear and bangs falling slightly on his face.

The prince tilted his head in obvious confusion before rising a finger and playing with one of the strands, a thoughtful, melancholic expression on his face as a smile quietly took over his features.

" Well, it was _mostly_ wrecked anyway, since, as it turns out, trying to fit so much hair inside a helmet is an impossible feat, I still do not understand how Allura does it, must be an Altean secret. But I have no access to such information, so mine got so tangled and dry that I couldn't even brush it, and I thought the best course of action was cutting it off." He felt the need to cry, the image of this Lotor and the other one overlapping like in those ancient 3D movies, throwing him for a loop, wondering if his absence had been responsible for this, too, if it was cause and effect once again.

He took a shaky breath and tried to think of something to say -maybe an apology, maybe a plea for forgiveness- but all that came to mind was the word 'helmet' and the implications of the word in the phrase the prince had used them in.

Cue another bout of confusion for him.

"Wha- what do you mean, helmet? What's going on? Are the- are the others alright?" He hated how his voice came out needy and fearful, aching to hear confirmation that his teammates were okay.

" They...they weren't here when I woke up so- so I assumed- I thought maybe something had gone wrong but- but two months is a long time and I- I understand why no one would want to be near me...." He sighed, dejected, and curled even closer against the prince's chest, hiding his face under his chin and refusing to move, his breaths too shaky to be normal and his heart hurting like it'd been ripped out.

"They must be so mad.....after what I did to them, the lions- the gate- the time- I....I didn't know any of this would happen.....if I had known...." Because he was so close to Lotor, he was able to feel the way he tensed and how his arms brought Lance even tighter towards him, and the way his hands trembled as he forced Lance's head away from his hiding place, looking straight into the prince's blue eyes.

"If _you_ had known, you would have done it anyway. Because that's the kind of person you are. Because you're that selfless, because you're honest and true to your feelings, because you want to do what's right and protect those you hold dear." Lotor smiled, his face regaining some of his color as his eyes filled with warmth and his words dripped with fondness, his face looking youthful with the new haircut.

"And that's exactly what we _love_ about you, the reason why we _waited_ for you, family." Lotor cradled his cheek with his palm, his chest vibrating and creating the purrs that meant he was happy, content and at ease.

It made him want to cry, for some reason.

" I don't know what goes through your mind, but nobody is mad- at least, not in the way you think. They are eagerly waiting for you, they are dying to see you, and I assure you that the reasons for their absence in the wake of your rise to consciousness are probably nothing as bad as you're imagining." The prince uttered a small laugh, and Lance felt one slowly blooming on his own face, shaky and weak, but sincere.

He knew the other wouldn't lie to him, and if he said that things weren't as bad as he was making them to be, if he said he had nothing to worry about, he believed him.

"O-okay then, I guess I....overreacted a bit. But....two months....I'm stil trying to process all this....it's not...easy." Lotor nodded and slowly disentangled himself from Lance, staying a few feet away but close enough to touch, waiting patiently for him to pull himself together.

"We can wait, if you wish, your teammates aren't going anywhere. If you're still feeling faint or uneasy-" He shook his head and worked to pull himself into a kneeling position, now determined to find out everything, filled with renewed hope that he hadn't royally fucked up his team and that they still wanted him, that they still _needed_ him.

Lotor had done nothing but reassure him that all was good, that nothing was amiss, but he had to see it with his own two eyes, he wouldn't rest easy until he saw every single member of his space family and established that they were healthy.

He struggled for a few more seconds, his basic motor skills failing him even thought he knew he wasn't badly hurt, his pain being more of an inconvenience and a hindrance than anything else.

He huffed in annoyance at his third failed attempt, feeling like howling and screaming his woes could have been a good life choice at the moment. Thankfully, his brother saved him the humiliation, outsretching a hand for him to hold onto.

"Here, let me help you." He didn't even have time to verbally agree before Lotor was scooping him up in his arms, blanket and all, standing to his full height as Lance yelped, put off by the sudden change in his point of view.

"Did you....did you get even _taller_?" He asked, outraged, watching the prince smirk as he walked towards the doors, his gait confident and purposeful.

"Who knows, _maybe_. Or you might have shrunk, you never know." He gasped in mock offense, jokingly punching Lotor's chest as they both laughed, the familiarity of the friendly banter making something unravel inside his chest, feeling like he could breathe again.

"I guess....things have changed while I was away, uh?" He spoke for himself, mostly. But the other, being so close, heard his musings all the same, and took it upon himself to chastise him and reassure him at the same time.

"Yes, they have, indeed. But that's not a reason for grief or sorrow, Lance. While you were away, we learnt to cooperate and rely on each other to survive, we worked as a team to fulfill our missions and accomplish our objectives, always coming out victorious. We got to know each other, and ourselves, find what we exceeded at and what we had to work on and make us, as a whole, _work_." Lotor looked proud at this, his face beaming as he shared his experiences.

"And we worked, alright, but....there was one thing we couldn't do, something we couldn't replicate, no matter what. We couldn't seem to fill the silence with our voices like you did, there was a gaping void in the spot you left, a silent room drenched in tension that someone needed to defuse."

"But without you to bathe the space with light and that innate cheerfulness that you show for our benefit, nobody did, and the restlessness just piled up, ready to collapse." His breath hitched at Lotor's words, his chest constricting with the weight of the words he said, the meaning they held.

And the dread that had been slowly choking him began to dissolve, his body feeling light and floaty, like every burden crushing him down had begun to vanish.

" We were _lost_ without you, Lance. We did what we had to to survive, but there was no one there to share our burden with us, no one to force us to rest and take care of ourselves, no one to lighten up the atmosphere and help us make strategies that don't put any of us in danger, no one to prevent us from being careless and fall too deep within the swirling madness of war." Lotor glanced down at him, expression honest and open, his words sincere and true as they left his lips, making him tremble in anticipation and a kind of bubbling energy he didn't know what to do with.

"We needed you- _need you_ , Lance, always and forever, no matter what you might think." A fluttery sensation traveled from his chest and through his neck and all the way to his cheeks, his mouth forming a crescent as he smiled -despite himself, despite the situation- knowing that he'd been a crucial gear to his team, that they had really missed him, that he was important and loved and his own role was as necessary as any other.

He felt alight with happiness and a mind-blowing relief.

And, for a second, he remembered other Keith, his words echoing in his mind like a long lost lullaby, brining back the promise they made, the compromise that he would try to get better, open up and be sincere, that he would stop holding everything back.

_' Stop hiding, stop distancing yourself, stop carrying all the responsibility, stop crying, please, open up, let us in. And if not us...then at least....let someone pass the threshold of your heart.'_

He'd said he would try, and it was time he made good on that vow.

So with the courage that the memories of the other team's affection and acceptance brought, he crushed any semblance of shame he might have had at the prospect of following his heart instead of repressing his real thoughts like he always did.

He would admit to the people he cared about to his insecurities and fears, his weakness and faults, the thoughts that plagued his mind when he lowered his guard, and how, on the bad days, they ate at him with unrelenting intensity.

He had to learn how to move forward, just like time did, and this was his way of taking the first step towards that path.

He owed _that_ Keith -and himself- as much.

"I- I guess I kind of....didn't think about it like that. I always thought I was...annoying you guys or that I was _too much_ , some people have told me in the past that my endless bouts of energy could be...tiring. I thought, sometimes, that maybe....you really didn't need me, that you would work smoother if I wasn't there to bother you." He held up a hand to stop Lotor, who had opened his mouth to -surely- refute his statements with unyielding passion, always ready to let Lance know just how loved and cared for he was.

"I _know_ \- I- I know now that it's not true. But, sometimes my mind likes to play tricks on me, and I begin overthinking things and the thoughts just replay in a loop as I pick up every mistake, every little thing I could have done differently, every little detail and word and looks sent my way and I just- I get self-conscious and- and then I begin to _doubt_ myself." He said everything in one long breath, knowing that if he took a break, he would loose his nerve and swallow his words, keep everything hidden like he always did, betraying the promise he'd made to the other team, to other Keith, who had worried about him with unwavering fierceness.

"And it's....it's a never-ending circle, because I keep seeing looks of disapproval sent my way, or maybe frustration or annoyance, and then I begin to think of the things I did wrong or if I was being too obnoxious, and- and it _begins_ again." He felt the grip on his back and legs tighten momentarily before Lotor leaned in, resting his cheek against the top of Lance's head, a tremulous sigh booming loud in his ears.

"I admit I had....an inkling that you didn't think too highly of yourself, and that you had doubts about your place on the team and your capabilities. Call it instinct, but my inner Galra knew that I was doing something _wrong_ , that I was missing something and not doing what I should. And now I know _why_." The prince's chest began to rumble and he clutched him even closer, never faltering in his steps as his voice, determined and filled with conviction, spoke to Lance about truths he never knew.

"It's because I _failed_ you as a brother, because I didn't see the depth of your fears and pain, because I thought you knew, without anyone saying it, how loved and cherished you were, how irreplaceable and invaluable to _us_ , to the _universe_ , to anyone who has had the privilege of meeting you." Lotor backed away and waited until he rose his head slightly, proceeding to knock their foreheads together and gift him with a delighted smile, although his eyes held a sorrow that didn't belong on his beautiful features.

"And I see I- no, _we_ , made a mistake, but that ends now. Did you know that when you came back, you were almost close to dying?" He shook his head, enthralled by Lotor's intensity, both of his words and his aura, which he now saw as he'd unconsciously turned on his sight, being privy to the maelstrom of his inner fierceness.

"You _were_. As you passed through the rift, you froze completely, and we didn't know why until Allura explained it to us admist our panicked frenzy."

"It seems that, without your lion, you were vulnerable to changes on a molecular level, making the trip too risky and almost impossible. But as you are a paladin of Voltron, your quintessence that mirrors Blue's protected you, using the element you are master of to preserve you essence and keep you whole." He blinked, trying to process everything the other was saying, not knowing how to feel.

"The side effect was, unfortunately, that your lungs stopped, and your heart was close to doing it, too, it nearly _killed_ you. You were cold as ice and unresponsive, and we thought we had lost you for good when we had just managed to get you back." The prince whined and nuzzled his cheek, his emotions in check after the tender touch, like it grounded him with ease.

" After a few tries, we finally managed to restart your lungs, and you even woke up for a few minutes, but you passed out not long after, and then we were panicking once more." A small, fleeting laugh left his brother's lips, his expression fond as he reminisced the events.

"It took Allura's slaps to wake us from our bout of nightmarish hysteria, and then she was telling us that you needed us, and that we better stop fooling around and being, quote ' _headless chickens'_ -although I lack the knowledge of what that is- and focus on how to help you, what we could do for _you_." He felt the need to laugh, imagining the looks on everyone's faces when the princess had slapped awake every single one of them, but the atmosphere was solemn and held a seriousness that made him forget about that idea completely.

"Someone suggested, then, that we put you in a healing pod to restore your body to an optimal state, I think it was Pidge -he blinked at Lotor's use of her name- but that proposal was met with several negatives." He tilted his head and looked at the Galran in confusion, not knowing where he was trying to go with this beyond letting him know that his team had been worried about him.

Which was understandable given his condition, they would have been concerned for anyone at death's door, it was common sense.

"Coran warned us that the healing pods worked with cryo stasis, and that for someone bordering on hypothermia, the freezing process would do more harm than good, and it wasn't the best option at the time."

"And then your friend, Hunk, said that you had claustrophobia after an incident in the past, and that you were really, _really_ scared of enclosed spaces. He thought that putting you there without permission was a bad idea, because he didn't want to break your trust or frighten you, he said it wasn't right." His eyes widened in surprise, both at the fact that Hunk remembered -and respected- his ' _fear_ ' of the cryopods, and that he'd been so content with being back home that he hadn't thought about what could've happened while he was out.

He only now realized that he was clueless about the process used to bring him back to full health, it hadn't even crossed his mind to think about it.

But now it had.

And a whole new world of anxiety opened up to him at the prospect of being thrown inside a pod without being able to do anything about it, shivering at the idea of his teammates finding out about his condition on their own, realizing that he'd lied to them and losing the chance to tell them himself as a consequence.

" Even Keith, who usually didn't speak a word, joined on the talk with the thought that we couldn't trust technology, no matter how advanced it was, to treat someone who had just crossed a rift in reality, since we didn't know the after-effects it could have on you."

"He was of the opinion that we should leave the pods as a last resort, and it was better to look for an alternative." Hearing his teammate's name brought back the bitter taste of rejection -among a sadness and jealousy that was uncalled for- knowing that this Keith, the one that had yet to open up, still held resentment towards him, that they would never be as close as the other versions of themselves.

And how could they, when they weren't even friends? He had never given the red paladin anything to hold onto, not even a smidge of a smile or companionship, neither an amiable treatment or basic respect and kindness.

He knew their situation was no one's fault but his own.

But he was working on changing that, he _really was,_ he knew where Keith's true feelings lay, and even though he still had a long way to go, he had an apology ready for him, hanging on the tip of his tongue, saved for when they were finally alone and he felt it was the right moment.

He just needed to be patient.

So he looked up at Lotor again, focusing on his comforting smile and the way his aura swam lazily around them both, the purples and pinks creating an image akin to a cloudy sunset.

It was a nice picture.

"So that's what we did, look for the common ways to treat your condition. Everyone shared their ideas and, within a minute, we had a plan of action ready to be carried out. Hunk was the first to run to his room in search for blankets, bringing back the ones that he said you loved because of their colors and a smell that reminded you of home." He blinked and looked down to the piece of cloth hanging from his body, the feel of the blanket as soft as silk and warm to the touch, the shades of yellow and orange creating a sunset before his eyes.

"Pidge tinkered with the castle systems to make the room we were in earlier -that she said was your favorite to hang out- be on constant night mode with a toasty temperature to made sure you stayed warm, and she implemented the sound of waves to be played because she knew they calmed you down." He....hadn't even noticed that.

He remembered that he'd told her that small piece of information when she'd been busy with one of her projects, and thought that she hadn't paid attention to him at all.

Obviously, he'd been wrong.

"And then the princess looked for clothes for you to wear, since your suit was....broken. She brought back a set of night clothes on your favorite shade of blue, and creams and products that she said you loved -without almond oil since you said you were allergic to it- and that she used to treat your skin while you were out, so you wouldn't feel as bad when you woke up." The prince turned to the right down the hallway, and Lance began hearing murmurs of voices, an unbidden anxiety and nerves coming alive inside his chest while his gut swirled with butterflies.

Whether they were the good or bad kind, he couldn't tell.

" Your sisters and I worked on gathering the finest of pillows and mattresses to make the bed in which we slept, because we knew how much you loved cuddling together, and how uncomfortable it made you when you had to sleep alone."

" The advisor, Coran, stood guard while we prepared ourselves for this and even afterwards, and when asked why, he said that you would never forgive yourself if something happened to us because we were too focused on you and our guard was lowered, making us vulnerable to threats. Smart man, he is." His mouth tilted up in a shadow of a smile, but his mind was elsewhere, his ears still trained on the whispers and words being carried through the corridor, sounding closer every second and making him wonder if he could still run away from all this.

His legs refused to move, so that was a resounding no.

"And as for the red paladin.....well...." At Lotor's hesitation, he risked a glance at him, watching the strange glint in his eyes and the mischievous smile that lit up his features, the playfulness alight in his every move as a giggle left his lips.

It was unnerving.

"I'll let you figure this one out for yourself." He didn't miss the smug expression on the prince's face, neither the satisfied smirk he sent his way, but he was too busy spluttering and whining in confusion to analyze what it could mean or the implications of his wording.

"The purpose of telling you this, Lance, is to make you understand just how valued you are, how needed and essential to this team, to this _family_. And not just as a soldier or a paladin, but as a friend, as a brother, as our _heart_. Everyone here held a little bit of you within their hearts, a piece of your warmth, a memory of your smile, the parts of yourself you shared with us and we kept within. All of these kept us going on in hard times." His breath stuttered inside his chest, not knowing how to retort, how to accept those facts as truth.

Not when he'd been doubting himself for so long, when he'd been hesitant about the team's faith in him, about his place in Voltron, in the universe.

" We might not have shown it like we should have, but we care for you, and I think the pieces of knowledge about you that everyone shared back then are proof of that fact." He looked down, torn between smiling and curling inwards, trying to come to terms with the weight that those words carried-

And then a whirring sound startled him and he realized that they had entered a room and-

_Oh._

He held his breath for about a tick, immobile.

And then he was crying.

It was silent, just a few tears cascading down his cheeks as he wept, but he couldn't keep them at bay, the image before him too powerful, sending his emotions into a dizzying journey that made everything seem fuzzy and unfocused.

Everything but his teammates -his family's- faces.

There they all stood, heads turned towards him, expressions ranging from surprised to relieved to teary, mingling together in a raging storm of emotion that echoed loudly even when it was deathly still, the only sound in the room his own rapid breathing.

Pidge and Hunk were close to one another, both gaping and staring at him in awe and joy, one of their hands clasped together, fingers intewined as they gazed at him, their own eyes teary. He noticed -with a bit of surprise- that Pidge's hair had grown slightly longer, and that she'd decided to wear it in a small ponytail, her natural curls giving her a soft, youthful appearance.

Hunk, for the most part, looked exactly as he remembered him, except he seemed ho have cut short the hair on one side of his head, and he thought he could see a small scar just besides his right eyebrow that lead all the way up to his temple and beyond.

It was something new, something he knew nothing about, and it terrified him more than he'd like to admit, to realize that they had changed- that they had moved on without him.

He closed his eyes to try and rid his mind of those thoughts, and when he dared open them again, he sought the rest of his team, eager and scared in equal measure to see them once more.

Coran was on the far right end of the room, looking the same as ever, smiling kindly at him like he always did, with the same uncle vibe that had always given him a sense of reassurance and stability, balance. It was calming to find that the Altean man hadn't changed at all beyond a small wardrobe alteration, his clothes looking more suited for battle than the previous ones he'd worn.

He continued to travel his gaze over the room, and it fixated on his sisters, all of them huddled up and looking eagerly at him, their eyes sparkling with excitement as they whispered his name, holding hands and looking...bright. Which he noticed was an effect of a brand new, -for him at least- white and turquoise armor that all of them wore, the Voltron symbol on the breastplate, standing proudly for everyone to see.

He was overwhelmed at seeing them again, and he didn't dare turn his sight on for fear of being swarmed by all their auras, not really knowing what to expect from them. Although Ezor looked happy and close to tears, Narti kept signing him the word ' _happy_ ' over and over again, Zethrid kept making motions with her arms as if asking Lotor to pass him over, and Axca had a soft, gentle smile as she watched him, her eyes crinkling.

It was _wonderful_ , it was all he ever wanted, seeing them once more.

But there was some people he was missing.

And when his eyes scanned every nook and cranny of them room, he finally found one of them, and he had to blink his eyes a few times to vanish the blurry edge to his vision before focusing once more.

Leaning against one of the walls, expression glum and tight with his eyebrows knit together and arms crossed against his chest, Keith stood in all his glory, looking almost like he remembered.

It was....something else, the fluttery, anxious feeling he got as he watched the red paladin, as he took in his features and the youthful face that was nothing like the other Keith's, but that he had missed nonetheless. It brought back many emotions that he had yet to work through, since he, himself, couldn't understand many of them.

Or maybe he didn't want to.

But whatever the reason, he could identify the happiness and relief he felt at seeing him healthy and well, alive and breathing and right _there_ , within arm's reach.

He was gazing at Lance with an expression he couldn't discern, hair tied back into a small ponytail and wearing his normal attire besides the cropped jacket he seemed to love so much, which was nowhere in sight. His mouth was pulled into a frown that seemed to fade the more he watched Lance, his arms falling to his sides as his eyes lit up with recognition, finally seeming to understand the sight before him.

He saw the red paladin's body move forward, slightly, barely an inch, and he was certain that the other was going to storm towards him and give him a piece of his mind, but someone else was faster, the other person he'd been missing, yearning to see.

He had to admit that watching Allura stride towards him with murder in her eyes was terrifying.

And for him, in more ways than one.

He was expecting a lecture, yells and screams and maybe some of that disappointed look that always made him feel small and inadequate, chastising words and stern warnings and maybe even a slap, when his imagination ran too wild, reminiscing telenovelas at home and the exaggerated drama they portrayed.

What he _didn't_ expect, however, was for Allura to literally pry him off of Lotor's arms, hugging him close to her chest as he yelped, cradled against her body while she held him for dear life, her forehead resting against his as her whole being trembled.

" _Thank you_. Thank you for coming back home to us, Lance. I'm- I'm so proud of _you_." Her voice broke at the end, and he shook with the force of his own restrained cries, his breath hitching as he took in the words he'd been longing to hear for so long. Ones that he knew deep down rang true with nothing but honesty, because a wave of emotion washed over him like an unleashed current, and he drowned in the sheer amount of relief, affection, pride and respect and love that seeped out her every word.

He didn't sob by sheer force of will, at this point.

"I- when Blue panicked two days ago I- some of her quintessence linked to mine and I- I could barely discern anything but _I know-_ I know you've been so brave, so- so intent on doing the _right thing_ , enduring so much. I don't- I don't know what I would've done if I had lost you- if I had lost another member of my family." Her breath got caught in between the words, her tears dripping slowly down her cheeks and onto his lap, eyes scrunched up tight as her lips pressed softly against his forehead.

And that was it for him, something inside himself clicked back into place and bloomed, bright and beautiful, freezing his train of thought for a minute because, as much as he'd considered the team a part of his family, no one had ever reciprocated his feelings, no one but Hunk, who he'd known since they were kids.

No one had ever said it out loud, accepted it, accepted _him_.

No one but Lotor and his sisters.

And family meant the world to him, it was something he cherished and would fight hard to protect until his last breath, his own life be damned.

So to hear it said by the person he respected most, to know that he was held in high regard and she wasn't ashamed to admit that he was hers just as much as she was his......it was wholesome in a way he couldn't explain, setting alight something inside his chest that burnt him to cinders.

And right there, cradled in Allura's arms like a child, he finally broke into a million pieces and got put back together again, the cracks mending with the warmth that he could feel from every side, the gentle rhythm of beating hearts that told him he wasn't alone, he'd never been.

And so he cried, and wept and let his sorrows and joys overtake him and flow unrestrained, his hands searching for purchase so he could feel every single member of his mismatched family, make sure they were _there_ and finally move on.

There were hands everywhere, limbs interlocking and faces being smushed together, bodies pressed flush against other's and hair getting tangled in between.

It was a mess.

It was _perfect_.

Through his blurry eyes he saw all the people he cared about crowd him and hold or touch a part of him; his hands and fingers, his arm, his forehead, his knee, his back, and it was like an incomplete puzzle finally being whole, the gaping void that had been left inside his chest when he'd left finally healed, growing smaller and smaller until nothing remained.

Nothing but a small pinprick that seemed to pulsate with his own heartbeat, screaming at him about it's presence, about a missing piece that had yet to slot into place.

His watery gaze landed on the indigo, unwavering one on the other side of the room, and he rose his shaky hand with an embarrassing whine, outstretching it towards the other, trembling with the effort it took as more and more tears fell because something was _absent_ , and he wouldn't be able to rest until it came back.

If it ever did.

He prayed to god it did.

The ice-cold eyes staring back at him looked down at his hand, and something seemed to crack in the tremulous gaze, brows furrowed and mouth upturned in clear distress and doubt. He didn't need to hear him talk to recognize the emotions passing through his features, the scowl and angry frown something he was used to by now, something he could now interpret as much more than just fury or rejection.

 _Fear_.

A fear he understood, because he'd had the same one when he'd been on the other side.

The fear of being left behind, of a person he cared for going away forever, leaving a gaping hole that would never be fully gone. The fear of caring and getting hurt in return when a loved one left, hurting the already bleeding heart to the point of being hopeless.

He knew those fears very well, both his own and the ones Keith had shared with him on Lance's dying breath, cradled in his arms as he fell into a peaceful sleep.

But he needed this, needed _him_. He felt like he wasn't to stop sobbing until he got what he wanted, as selfish as that was, and even the lions conceded to his plea, curling around him as best as they could, filling the already noisy room with their purrs and rumbles.

He rose his hand a little more, now desperate with a wail ready on the back of his throat.

But it never left the depths of his chest.

Because the next second, Keith had left his resting place and had moved swiftly and with purpose to join the huge group hug going on in the middle of the room, holding Lance's hand with a grip strong enough to bruise, his eyes burning with an intensity that he'd missed more than he'd thought, more than he'd like to admit.

It was too warm with all of them entangled together, too hot and stifling with too many limbs and tears and snot dirtying each other's clothes, cries and sobs overlapping each other as they struggled not to move too much for fear of disrupting the moment.

It was uncomfortable and noisy and he could barely understand what anyone was saying beyond mentions of his name and praises and ' _welcome back's'_ that mingled with the echoes of their bawling.

It was all he ever needed.

The calm that followed after was like dark clouds dissipating to open a blue sky, the sun's rays shining down on him and warming up his face, his troubles vanishing alongside the last remnants of his fear as everything felt all right with the world, _his world._

And when he risked a glance with his sight to his wrist, he saw many bracelets, all in different colors and shapes, the quintessence warm against his skin and thrumming in time with his heartbeat, all the threads connecting to their owners and relaying to him the extent of their affection, their care and happiness at his return, the longing and relief and joy at having him back with them.

It painted a smile in his tear-soaked face that turned into a surprised gasp when he caught the telltale Velvet of Keith's bracelet, the shape now formed in some places, showing the raging fire swirling beneath the surface, sizzling as sparks flew and landed on his skin, their light touch tickling him and making him tear up again.

Had he ever stopped? He wondered how he had still tears left to shed, when it felt like he'd cried a river already. But it was seeing the red paladin's bond with him -still alive, still going-, and they had come anew, salty and warm as they fell down his cheeks and jaw, dripping over the surface of the red and orange flames and evaporating not even a tick after.

He'd always known there was hope, he had been privy to all of Keith's inner feelings that one time, but this, _this_ was proof that he had a chance, something real that he could see and feel that told him he could still reach for the red paladin and he would reach back.

Just like he'd done minutes before.

He was sure there was a stupid smile on his face in that moment, but he didn't care. The demons that had tormented his mind for so many months were vanishing under the weight of his team's love and appreciation, and his soul felt light and free of those burdens and he felt better than he had in a long time.

He finally felt like he could move forward and leave his self-doubt behind.

The lions suddenly stood and five simultaneous roars were heard throughout the castle.

It was like they were celebrating that the team was complete once more -even without Shiro- and he couldn't help the laugh that left his lips, that was soon joined by many more as the rest of his family snorted and giggled, all of them giddy with the same emotion that seeped out of him in waves.

Completion. Belonging. _Whole_.

They laughed until their throats hurt and their limbs ached from the strange cuddle pile they were in, until their tears dried and their heads hurt and their hearts returned to a normal, steady rhythm. He even thought he heard Keith laugh with them too at some point, but that might have been wishful thinking on his part, overwhelmed by the intensity of the moment.

It took them a while, but eventually, they disentangled themselves from the mess of limbs and hair that had become twisted and caught up in between their clothes, everyone moving towards the couches and sitting down with similar relieved sighs, eyes shiny with the aftermath of their joint crying session.

Meanwhile, he, still cradled close to Allura's chest, had to wait to see what they would do with him, since they didn't seem to want to allow him to walk or even move the slightest bit -he'd tried earlier, Allura had looked affronted and a tad outraged, he had stopped trying since- so he had to resort to rest his head on her shoulder and look around until she decided her next move.

Which was, apparently, moving towards the most plush an soft couch in the whole room and depositing him on it like he was made of glass, with all the care and caution of someone handing a precious china doll made of the finest ceramic. She looked him over once, nodding to herself as if satisfied before sitting on the sofa in front of him, her hair that was styled into a braid falling over her shoulder and ending just above her waist.

The room was shrouded in silence, nothing heard save the echoes of their breaths and the _'tap,tap,tap'_ of his own fingers as they drummed against his leg.

Thankfully, the stillness only lasted for a tick, and Hunk -bless his gentle soul- broke the ice without hesitation, his voice as friendly and sweet as he remembered.

"Lance, oh man, am I glad to see you. It's been ages, dude, I- we're glad to have you back." Hunk beamed at him, his aura as bright as the last time he'd seen him, albeit a bit rough around the edges, a shadow of something he didn't know lurking behind the cheerfulness he displayed.

Hunk's eyes were shiny with even more unshed tears, but the smile his best friend gifted him with was sincere and full of happiness, the warmth of his emotions shrouding Lance and making him grin in return.

"I'm glad to be back, buddy. Cool scar, by the way, how'd you get that?" The yellow paladin blinked and rested a finger below his chin with a thoughtful expression, his eyes narrowed in concentration with his lips pursed, a faint humming sound leaving his lips.

"I think...I think it was in the battle of Artix? When that Galran soldier threw his dagger at me? Maybe?" He panicked for a tick at the prospect of his friend being in danger, choosing to focus instead on Pidge, sitting to Hunk's left, and the way she shook her head at him, patting his arm to get his attention.

"No, you doofus, it was on planet Skipalx, remember? When that undercover dude tried to trick us into an alliance. But you discovered his real plans and he tried to kill you, which he failed horribly at, may I add." She smirked after, her eyes -she didn't wear glasses anymore?- twinkling with excitement as she shared the story, his best friend letting out a loud ' _aha_ ' as he seemed to remember the events, a sheepish look on his face.

"Aww, yeah, I remember now. The poor guy thought he was being so sneaky and inconspicuous, but he honest to god had a Galran sticker on his ship...like, _dude_." Hunk shrugged and shook his head, a small laugh leaving his lips while Lance listened, enraptured by the picture of things he knew nothing about, things he'd missed.

"Ah yes, I recall that particular battle." Lotor pipped up from Lance's right. " It was quite....eventful, I think it's the word. The offender was badly organized and delusional, thought he could take out the paladins of Voltron with only feeble lies and deceit." Lotor huffed a small laugh, Ezor and the others echoing the sound as they chuckled, like it was an inside joke, something between them, something he couldn't understand.

"Right?" Hunk said while he looked at the prince, both of them chatting about the battle and the many hilarious situations until his friend remembered he'd actually asked him a question.

"Anyway, when I discovered his plans, he went, like, crazy, and tried to skewer me with martial arts or something. But he wasn't very good at that, and I had him subdued in minutes, he was an amateur and I really doubt he'd had any training whatsoever." Lance nodded, motioning for him to go on, reclining himself against the cushions on his back and relishing on their soft, squishy texture.

"So I'm standing there, with the guy under my feet, talking with Lotor on the comms so they can come and interrogate the guy. And out of nowhere, he sprouts this insane claws, like, about half a foot long, and slashes my face like it's one of those toys cats play with." A laugh like chiming bells made him turn to the other side, where Allura was covering her mouth, her eyes crinkling at the corners and cheeks a rosy pink, her aura twinkling with light as her voice carried mirth and joy like he'd never seen in her before.

"Oh my, it's coming back to me now, I'd never heard Hunk curse so loudly before, it put any bad-mouthed Altean to shame, it was truly a glorious moment." The princess giggled, and the rest of them team seemed to be swept by the wave of lighthearted delight and amusement that spread like wildfire as Hunk blushed, bashful, but looking pleased with himself nonetheless.

"Yep -Pidge punched Hunk's shoulder- it was like a coming of age, a memorable occasion, really. And he never let go of the guy at any moment, he took the hit like a badass and glared at the alien until we arrived, half his face covered in blood. I think the dude was just scared shitless by that point and wouldn't move at all." Hunk puffed out his chest in pride, and Lance couldn't help the longing and slight envy that passed his mind for a split second.

Because he'd missed how his best friend became this confident, brave, fearless warrior, he'd missed his growth in his absence and that was time he was never going to get back.

It stung a little, if he was being honest.

"Ah, but enough about that- _Lance_." The way Hunk said his name send shivers down his spine, his voice deadly serious, enough to make him freeze and hold his breath, goosebumps rising on his skin.

" What happened to you? I- we don't know anything from after you....after you destroyed the gate, which I'm still really pissed about, you know?" He hunched his shoulders tight, trying to make himself look smaller, biting his lip in an anxious tic. This wasn't a conversation he wanted to be having right now, or ever, if possible.

But he promised he'd be brave and share his burdens with the others.

And so he would try his best.

" _Look_ \- he began, taking a deep breath- I _know_ that what I did was reckless and it might have looked like I did it without thinking on my part, but it was a bad situation, and I didn't have time to hesitate. I had to protect our home, _our world_ , I couldn't risk them finding about the gate." He raised his gaze and looked at his team- his family, all of them focused only on him and his words, their expressions raging from curious to wondering and even a little angry, in some cases.

"Who are _'them',_ Lance?" Allura asked, head tilted and eyes twinkling, looking even more blue than he remembered, her aura blooming around her body like a beautiful flower, beckoning him as her voice pleaded for closure and closeness, for truth and trust.

"...The Altean Empire." The princess gasped and clutched her chest, eyes wide and hopeful and making him feel worse than he already did, knowing that he had to snuff that bright light out before she began expecting something that would never come to be.

He shook his head and looked at her when he spoke. " Remember that I told you I landed in an alternate reality, those Alteans weren't meant for us, they came from a similar fate but a completely different world, they could never belong. They weren't the good guys, Allura. Not this time." Her face fell at his words, and even the dim glow of her markings seemed to dull in her sorrow, lips pursed as she averted her gaze to the floor, eyes shiny with unshed tears.

"What -she began, voice shaking with emotion- what happened?" He brought a hand to his head and brushed his hair away, trying to recall everything and the best way to summarize it, leaving out the parts that he didn't want to share.

"They attacked us, they had technology I had never seen before, and by what the other team told me about them, they were dangerous and highly intelligent, if not cunning. And in that moment, in that situation....I could only think of what they would do if they found out about the gate, about Blue...." He shuddered, remembering the moment when he'd made his decision, the moment when he'd thrown caution to the wind and disregarded his own safety for a promise of his home's welfare.

"I chose to destroy the gate to protect all of you, to keep our world, our reality, from the clutches of the evil that threatened to swallow that universe." A deathly silence washed over them, and it was so silent it felt like no one was even breathing, so he continued on before he lost his nerve, already shaking with anxiousness.

"I'm not going to tell you the whole story, because that would take too long and...what's done is done. But someone had messed with Team Voltron over there, Allura had been tricked and she was fighting them in a pointless war, guided by a hand that, ultimately, only wanted her demise." Allura's face was pale as she listened, and he had a brief flashback of the Queen making the same pained, distressed face once she'd found out the truth about Hira, about everything.

"There were many misunderstandings and treasons, and because of the mastermind's schemes, their world was slowly, but surely, headed towards destruction. They needed an external source, someone who could make a difference, someone who could _save them_. That was the main reason why Blue sent me there, I was her last hope." A choir of gasps echoed around the room, whispers of theories and conjectures filling the space between them, the princess' blanched features boring holes into him from the intensity of her stare.

"But, if that was the case, if the other reality was in such dire need for help, why didn't Blue send us all? We could have done much more.....we could have protected you, we could have stayed _together_." He knew she was referring to the months they spent apart, something that still upset him greatly and still had to come to terms to.

And he wanted to answer truthfully, he really wanted to, but only he was privy to the real reason Blue chose him -besides everything else- and he couldn't share that fact with the others _yet_.

It was too soon, and he was still working on lowering his walls, he couldn't tell them about his redos. He would, soon, but now....not now.

" There were a few reasons for that, actually." He said instead. " For one, only Blue could pass the gate without being harmed because of the ice-, and she could safely carry with her up to three people at best. Another thing was that White -the Shiro we found- trusted me enough to share whatever truth we found on the other side, and he was sure to be on my side when we got there and met his team, making the mission easier." From around the room, thoughtful looks were directed his way admist some skeptical ones, the latter coming mainly from Allura and Lotor, whose auras were pitter-patting to the floor, drizzling like summer rain in their quaky tremble.

"We couldn't risk more lions neither paladins for this mission, it was a trip to another reality, a journey through the rift to a completely different plane of existence. It was risky enough to send me and White, and the only reason we got to the other side safely was because of Blue." A faint cramp on his foot distracted him momentarily, but he didn't miss the shadows on the princess' features, neither the turmoil that danced in her baby blue eyes, her brows furrowed in clear displeasure.

"She had to choose between sending me or Allura, and she knew very well we would never risk you, within reason, so the choice was obvious. She knew I had the necessary skills to fulfill her request too, she didn't send me just because I am her paladin. If something had gone wrong....the fewer casualties, the better." Everyone seemed to make a face at his statement, and while it may had been crude and seemingly cruel, it was a fact, a reality that they had to accept.

Whether they liked it or not, they were at war, he'd experienced the horrors of it first hand, had to redo many times at the hands of fate and Galra alike, and it was just rational and smart and the right thing to do to cut their losses and lower the number of missing soldiers.

They were the universes' only hope, they couldn't afford to lose the lions or paladins. But in the event that something like what happened to him _did_ happen, that a mission that dangerous needed to be fulfilled without complaint, it was better to get on the worst case scenario, and plan their moves in a way that didn't put them all at risk.

It was just logical.

"I mean, Blue didn't foresee the thing with the gate, of course, we were supposed to keep in contact -all of us- and for her to stay by my side, supporting me. She never intended for me to be completely alone. But it wasn't like we had a choice, many things were at stake, and she understood that it was for the greater good, she couldn't contradict me on that." A speck of red caught his attention from the corner of his eye, and he turned just in time to see Keith give his back to him, hands clenched into tight fists as shoulders shaking with....something he wasn't able to depict, his aura a raging inferno that burned bright, making his eyes tear up.

He turned away before he could be devoured by the smoldering flames, his gaze finding Lotor's pain filled one, his short hair still a shock that he had to get used to.

"I mean...it was difficult to destroy my only way back home, I won't lie. But ultimately, it was for the best, and the many events that followed all lead me to the ending I wanted, the ending that Blue had prayed for."

"I managed to make the other Allura see reason, she reconciled with her team and saved her loved ones, we reunited lost lovers and revealed the machinations of a delirious creature." Pride filled his chest as he remembered how hard they all battled, how hard everyone tried and how, in the end, he'd been the key that had restored the balance of the universe.

"We fought to save their universe, _together_ , and emerged victorious, brining freedom to every creature. Then I threw myself into the rift to keep it that way, and I found my way back to you." He shrugged, not noticing the impact his words had on every occupant on the room.

"You did _what_?" Four sets of voices screamed back at him, and he flinched as if struck, an ' _oh shit'_ expression painted on his face as he slowly, ever so slowly, titled his head to gaze at his sisters, who were boring holes into his skull with their outraged voices and fierce eyes.

They wasted no time and crowded him almost instantly, looking him up and down for any sign of wounds while holding his hands, their movements frantic and distressed, high pitched whines and low growls directed his way.

"Um....." He blanked, not knowing how to answer their worried inquiries, their auras all coddling him and caressing his skin with warmth and a cool undercurrent that screamed safety, making him want to sigh at the soothing feeling.

After a few seconds, though, he finally found his words, whispering reassurances and comforting coos that he hoped would placate the Galran instincts going haywire in his sister's bodies.

"Girls, please, calm down. It's not as bad as you're making it to be, honestly. It's just....many things had happened in those four days I spent away, and I didn't want all our hard work to go down the drain at the last minute. The other team had suffered enough already and I....I wanted to protect them." He took the silence as an invitation to continue, and did so before he could change his mind, the heavy talk already taking it's toll on him.

"We had fought too hard to let it all be for nothing, we struggled and bled and cried and we _finally_ had our enemy backed into a corner and I just...couldn't let them escape, I would've regretted it forever."

"It just happened that the only way to keep them trapped and ensure everyone's future was to seal the rift from the other side, so....that's what I did. Besides, Blue told me that I would be okay, and I trust her." He tried to ignore the hurt and regretful looks everyone kept sending him, and accidentally spied as Lotor sent a side glance towards the princess, his shoulders tight and seeming to carry a burden he couldn't see, another thing he knew nothing about.

Another part of his team's growth that he'd missed.

He startled when a hand landed on his shoulder, and Allura took a seat to his right, a look of understanding crossing her beautiful features as her voice betrayed her true emotions, showering him with pride and affection and a deep need to protect.

"I know that, Lance, I do trust her too. Why do you think we stopped looking for ways to reach you? It wasn't by our own volition, I assure you. For the first week you were gone, I pleaded... _begged_ for her to say something, to give me proof that you were okay...that you were _alive_." She stopped to take a breath, her hand never leaving his shoulder, as if the touch grounded her, as if it reminded her that he was real, that he was there, easing the anxiousness and apprehension that her melodic voice carried.

He could relate to that feeling, but couldn't understand the deep unease that took hold of Allura whenever she tried to withdraw from skin contact. It was new to him.

"I tried so may times I lost count, but she said nothing. She was unresponsive, and we couldn't get her to power up, it was like....like her consciousness had stayed with you, and even though that idea relieved me, I...was desperate for news of you." She looked him in the eye, and he didn't need his sight to see the honest concern and untamed love she held towards him, towards someone she'd admitted to consider a member of her family.

 _Brothers_ , her voice seemed to whisper.

"And then, one day, she suddenly lit up. Her essence returned to us and I felt hope bloom inside my heart, hoping against hope that you had returned or that she would tell me how to get to you. But what I got instead was a convoluted mess of images and emotions, colors and sounds and starlight that were terrifyingly beautiful, but unhelpful in their significance." He felt the pad of her thumb run down his cheekbone and to his jaw, her expression so soft and kind he felt like he would melt under the tenderness of her touch.

"It was nothing I could make sense of, and it frustrated me to no end, the...powerlessness, the impotence. But Blue shared no more with me, and I decided that, if that was the only thing I had in my reach to learn of your fate, then by Gaia I was going to do my damn best." She smiled, then, small and pained but shining like the galaxies just outside the glass windows, bright and twinkling like glitter on a dark canvas.

" So I persevered, I meditated and analyzed everything, every speck of color, every distorted sound and faint word, and I understood what Blue had been trying to say, eventually."

" And then I saw _you_ , standing proud besides another with your own face, holding a sword with the world at your back and your companions as your shield, and I nearly cried in relief. You were alive, you were okay and cared for and we only needed to find a way to get to you." Her hand, soft and rough in equal measure, left his cheek to lay on her lap, her fingers interlocking as she averted her gaze, an almost wretched look taking over her features, as if she was remembering something unpleasant.

"But Blue _refused_ , her denial was absolute. She conveyed to me that there was no way our paths would cross again, and that, if we wanted to get you back, we only needed to wait till the moment was right, till the opportunity presented itself. And when that time came, we had to reach for you with all our heart, without hesitation. She said our bonds would be put to test, and that their strength needed to be powerful enough to transcend space and time." The princess sighed and raised her head, biting her lip before following with her previous thought.

"In that moment, I didn't know how to interpret those...words, and Blue would not elaborate. Her consciousness was flickering and hard to get a hold of, I didn't understand many things and I was confused, but I promised to do my best anyway, I swore to bring you back home, no matter what it took." The determination that her voice carried and shone in her eyes was breathtaking, and for a tick, he could do nothing but look at her, mesmerized.

"You were okay, you would eventually return to our side, and I wasted no time in letting everyone know, it was a small saving grace in those dark times." She chuckled, the sound forlorn and shaky.

" From then on, it was a waiting game, a really painful, anxious, and miserable one." He didn't know what to do with the looks everyone kept sending him, like they were scared to look away, lest he vanished again, like they were waiting to jump at him at any moment, ready to give him hugs that would last a lifetime.

Not that he was opposed to those, but...

It was something...unexpected, albeit comforting, to be the center of attention, to be on the receiving end of relieved smiles and nods of approval and support, encouraging touches and reassuring words.

But no matter how much he loved it -the attention- it threw him for a loop to be shrouded in such intense affection and tender care from all around, he wasn't used to it, he didn't know what to do with himself.

Thankfully, he had to do nothing, because, once again, Hunk came through, his face lighting up with joy and a cheer that was unusual in him, the kind of mischievous, gleeful look that he saved for the times back home when they would sneak out of the Garrison to go clubbing or do something mildly illegal, knowing full well it was forbidden but not caring in the slightest.

He took in his best friend's expression, a shadow of the past overlapping his present figure, making him notice all the changes that happened since they came to space, the little details and differences that told his friend apart from his younger, innocent self, and the ones he didn't get to see because he'd been trapped in another world.

He wondered if he, himself, had changed beyond the powers and condition he had acquired.

"Yeah -he startled at Hunk's voice, high with excitement- we didn't know how long we had to wait, neither _what_ we were waiting for, and then there was the problem with the lions....Oh man, those were _not_ fun times." He said that, but the yellow paladin was actually laughing freely, the shadows beneath his eyes seeming to fade slightly as he let himself be taken over by his chuckles, breathless and shaking with mirth.

Everyone else seemed to follow suit, and he was completely lost, watching as his team's shoulders dropped and they became a boneless pile of giggles and smiles, their stances relaxed as the atmosphere in the room -that he hadn't noticed had become stifling- lifted and the tension that had seemed to weigh everyone down disappeared.

The cackles were full of unadulterated happiness and joy, and he could feel the sorrow and regret that everyone had looming over their heads vanish like mist, letting the small droplets of hope rain over their dried hearts and making optimism flourish and bloom like a beautiful flower.

His team, his family....all of them were so happy...well, almost all of them.

On his right, having moved to the far end of the couch, Lotor sat with his arms crossed over his chest, face turned away from his teammates as he-....was he _pouting_? His cheeks were airbrushed with a dark lavender and he was frowning, and that was definitely a pout he was sporting, which only made him more curious about the whole thing.

So much so, that he couldn't help but ask about it.

"What....what happened? I....the lions...how did you guys..?" He tilted his head, noticing how Lotor flinched and seemed to shrink, curling in on himself and refusing to look anyone in the eye. From both his sides, his sisters openly laughed and curled around him -Narti and Ezor, he meant- and he thought he felt even Blue purr and chuckle in amusement.

Interesting.

"Oh, man, it was _wonderful_." Pidge said in a choked giggle. "After we realized you were okay and stuff, and that we could do virtually nothing to help you -which was really frustrating, let me tell you- we tried to come up with a battle plan, you know? Something temporary to kind of fix things so we could continue fighting while you were AWOL." She moved her hands as she spoke, the small ponytail swaying alongside her body as she rocked back and forth, the smile never leaving her lips.

"At first we thought to go just like always, you know, with Keith in Black and Allura in Blue, and then figure out something for Red later, but as soon as she let us know that you were okay, Blue powered off again -which, rude- and no matter what we did, she wouldn't respond, so we decided to change tactics." Pidge shrugged and sat cross-legged, her clothes -which he'd never seen before- falling down her knees and draping her form like a gown, although he was pretty sure she wore leggings underneath.

"We had Allura bond with Black, and although we didn't know if it would work at first, he liked her leadership and skills enough to let her pilot him, knowing it was an emergency and that it wouldn't be forever. We reached an agreement and then Keith returned to Red. Everything was _dandy_." The way she said it made it very clear that it had been, in fact, not very dandy at all, and he barely had time to catch the Red paladin looking their way from the sofa on the far end of the room -probably at having heard his name- before Allura cut in, continuing the tale.

"Until it wasn't. We couldn't form Voltron without Blue, and in many occasions we cut our wins too close, always on the brink of losing, always a step away from failure. There was something missing, and we didn't realize until then just how much more difficult the battles were without you." He swallowed and wiped his sweaty hands on his pants, feeling like he had to apologize on behalf of both Blue and himself, for leaving them one lion short, for leaving them defenceless without Voltron.

For wiping away the hearty glow that had taken over the room and sending them once more into a spiral of misery and gloom.

He felt like he was on a rollercoaster, hopping from laughs and warmth to anguish and mild melancholy and regret in the span of a few minutes, it was dizzying, and those weren't even his own emotions he was feeling.

"That's.....I'm sorry, I- I didn't know about the time difference, I- it must have been hell to fight without Blue and Voltron-" Pidge interrupted him before he could continue.

"We weren't talking about Voltron or Blue, you silly goose." She smiled, wide and proud and carrying such love and fierce protectiveness it lit up a flame in his chest.

"We were talking about _you_." He stopped breathing, and the flame grew and burned brightly until it became a raging inferno, scorching his being and warming up even the coldest parts of his core, turning his doubts and insecurities to ash as they were blown away by the gentle breeze of his family's acknowledgement, their acceptance.

"We never realized -she continued- just how much your mere presence made things easier, less gloomy and scary, how your light and upbeat attitude made our battles less intense and kept our stress levels to a minimum. You always took care of us and kept us from overworking ourselves or running headfirst into danger, you always took decisions that would keep us safe even when you ended up being hurt, even when _we_ were the ones that hurt you." Pidge shook her head, and Hunk looked sympathetically at her, resting a hand on her shoulder, taking over for a tick.

"There was this.....darkness looming over Voltron, over all of us, it was like- like a light had been snuffed out, you know? It was the perfect metaphor, because without you, everything seemed....duller, somehow, and there was this...uncomfortable feeling of loss and a gaping hole that needed _something_ , but we didn't know what it was, at the time." His best friend looked apologetic, doing the motion with his hand that Lance knew meant _'I'm sorry'._

" I- we were too busy trying to keep afloat, we didn't have time to ponder over feelings or whatever, and we didn't have time to bond, either. And that void kept nudging the back of our minds, sucking the joy out of everything, until we eventually understood that the missing piece, the thing we desperately needed, was _you_. That the void left in your absence couldn't ever be filled by anyone else." Pidge fidgeted with the hem of her gown, scarred hands tapping her ankles like piano keys with patterns and rhythms only she understood.

"After having that reveling epiphany -which was pretty obvious and made me feel like an idiot- I- I came to a conclusion. We could have many blue paladins, many substitutes and replacements, but....there was only one Lance, there was only one guy I considered to be my brother, and I wanted him _back_. We all did." He nearly cooed at the way she blushed, but stopped himself when he remembered that Pidge had difficulty expressing her emotions, and the fact that she'd tried so hard to tell him how she felt, how she cared, meant the world to him.

He treasured her words and the warmth they carried, and let them find a home in his chest.

"Everything always ran smoother when you were there; be it diplomatic meetings, parties, recon missions, fights to free planets, ambushing Galran trading routes, you name it. I'm sure it had something to do with how much of a smooth talker you are, you have a way with words, and even though I never noticed, I know many of the times someone agreed to help us or join our fight was probably because you convinced them." She wasn't wrong, but it wasn't her fault -or anyone's really- that that fact had gone unnoticed, it wasn't a skill as much as it was an ability, something that people had seemed to hate about him back home, and that he' turned into a weapon to spite them.

So _no_ , it wasn't something he was overly proud of, just...something he could use to his advantage and to help Voltron, nothing more.

"It was hell, you know? Trying to talk to all those people. They either ignored me, talked over me, or just asked for benefit and protection and stuff, I was scared my hair would turn white like Shiro's from stress." He shared a small, private laugh with her.

"We missed you dude -she continued- we really needed you, and it sucked to know we couldn't get you back, like, _right now_. It felt like we were being taught a lesson. And honestly, I'm glad we did." A few whispers agreed with her statement, and he didn't know how to react to that beyond getting flustered and spluttering like a fish, feeling the truth that all their voices conveyed, strong and unwavering and bathed in trust.

God, knowing he had their utmost trust -something he didn't think he'd ever have again- was just...it made him emotional, and Blue had to soothe him with her rumbles to keep him from going over the edge and crying again.

He was such a mess.

And that was ignoring the fact that the Red paladin wouldn't even look in his direction, seeming to listen to the conversation going on but never sharing his input, neither his opinion. He was just an spectator watching from the sidelines, his sighs shadowed with a thrumming anger that he couldn't seem to be rid of, just another proof that Keith hadn't forgiven him yet, and while he'd been glad that Lance had returned, he was avoiding him like the plague now, which kind of hurt.

He really, really needed to give the red paladin the apology he deserved.

The more he postponed it, the harder it would get.

"Totally agree with you there -Hunk said- but enough doom and gloom. Let's get to the juicy details. So, fast forward another week, we're tired and cranky and we just want to see you again and hear you laugh and feel, like, complete and stuff, and we're going crazy with worry and doubt, wondering if we're ever going to see you again. And, of course, that's when the Galra choose to attack." Hunk made a dramatic pose, hands clutched to his chest as Pidge mimicked him, both of them sending side glances to a very silent, very much still red faced -and growing- Lotor.

His teammates snickered as Pidge took where Hunk left off. " So we get to our lions, ready to kick butt like always, you know? The usual. But lo an behold, the douches have made a new, deadly weapon that could obliterate Voltron with one shot, and we're pretty much _fucked_." She shrugged in a _'what can you do'_ way.

" But of course we're stubborn as heck, so we still fight them like the persistent motherf- _Pidge!_ \- riggin dudes we are, and like predicted, we're losing, which sucks, really hard." Hunk nodded and leaned forward, like he was going to share a secret with Lance, like everyone cuddling him and in close proximity couldn't hear him loud and clear.

"So, we're desperate, we are missing Blue, missing _you_ , and we can't form Voltron or do anything, and our lions are getting mauled like small cats. At one point, I even thought I could see wires coming undone, and it freaked me out, I was sure we were going to die, and the worst part was that you needed us to come back, you were counting on us. So you can imagine just how frustrated and angry we were." Hunk leaned back and clasped hands with Pidge, both of them making shifty eyes like damsels in distress, making him chuckle in confusion and amusement alike.

"Voltron is in danger! Who, oh, who, could be the valiant hero to save us?" They spoke at the same time, and around him, his sisters dissolved into giggles, Ezor's face hidden in his neck and Narti's hands clutching his arm tight while Acxa doubled over and Zethrid bit her lip to stop her booming laughter from escaping.

Allura, now sitting to his immediate left, took a shaky, bubbly breath before taking over. "Yes, Voltron was in danger, indeed. And in that hopeless, frantic moment, the feed that was connected to the castle came alive, and we heard Coran screaming at someone." From his place behind the couch, the Altean twirled his moustache, amused.

"Yes, quite an intense moment, I should say. My screaming was, mind you, very valid in that situation. The team was headed towards catastrophe, and out of nowhere, the prince grows frantic and panicked and says he's either going to force Blue to power on, or going to hack her systems -goddess forbid- until she stops being , quote, ' _An stubborn, overgrown and irresponsible cat that goes away whenever she sees fit, needless of other's safety'_ ". Lance gaped and turned to look at the prince, who was now shaking his head desperately while a prominent blush and an ashamed expression took over his features.

"I did not say such things. I merely shared that the Blue lion needed to be held accountable, and that she needed to stop whatever she was doing and aid us, lest we died, leading the universe towards its demise." From the laughter that still permeated the room, he guessed that was _not_ what the prince had said, at all, and his face grew redder and redder, even moreso when Allura looked softly at him, her cheeks a rosy pink as she still shook from mirth.

" You did all that, of course, mindless of the fact that without a paladin, Blue was of no use to form Voltron." She chuckled. " I remember like it was just yesterday, watching trough the comms as you screamed at Blue, saying that if she couldn't protect Lance, then you would do so yourself." Lance let out a confused whine, leaning forward despite the way his muscles screamed at him not to, trying to figure out what they were going on about.

"What do you mean?" He asked. " I...I wasn't even here? _Uh_?" To his left, Allura held his hand, squeezing once before gifting him with a sweet smile, her eyes crinkling with joy and a playful edge he'd rarely seen in her before he'd left.

"Oh, you might not have been _here_ , physically, but that's not what Lotor meant. Here - she took a tiny device from her pocket- I have the recordings from the castle's comms of that day, you can see for yourself." He heard an outraged scream, but his hands were already pushing the tiny green button, a hologram showing up before him, depicting Blue's hangar that was bathed in red from the castle's alarms.

Suddenly, a figure appeared from the doorway, striding towards Blue -whose particle barrier was up- with purpose and anger, their shoulders tense and an obvious frown on their face, hair swaying alongside their abrupt movements as he marched forward like a king.

Lotor looked furious.

 _'Blue lion, I know you can hear me! You have to come back, we need you!"_ Only silence answered him, and he saw Lotor bit his lip and begin shaking, hands clenched into fists. ' _Please! The paladins are backed into a corner, they are being hurt! Without you, we are doomed!'_ Lotor's screams echoed loudly in the stillness of the room, eerie and deathly quiet.

 _'Okay, I tried to be nice, but enough is enough! I don't know what you're doing, or why you refuse to power on, but this universe needs you, Voltron needs you, and if you do not help us, we're all going to die! And it won't be no one's fault but your own!'_ A faint growl echoed around the room, and he saw a satisfied smirk painted on the prince's face.

 _'What, cannot take the truth? I will not pretend to understand how you operate or what seems so important that you would neglect your brethren when they need you most, but I do know one thing.'_ The Galran sent a glare towards Blue, head held high.

 _'If something happens to us, to the paladins or ourselves, and Lance finds it was because you ignored our pleas, he's never going to forgive you.'_ A growl, louder this time, rattled the hangar and made Lotor stumble, but he never stopped looking at Blue, never stopped looking frustrated and hurried.

 _'If you don't do something, it'll be the end of us! Is that what you want? For Lance to come back and realize he has no family left? That everyone he ever knew was now dead or injured beyond repair?'_ He saw the prince straighten, his eyes narrowed into slits as he walked towards the particle barrier, unafraid.

 _'Because I know that Lance values family over everything else, and he would do anything to make sure they're safe! I know if he were here he would tell you to stop whatever it is you're focused on and keep unharmed those that he loves! He's already suffered enough, I won't let him lose anyone else, and if you can't be assed to do your job and protect your paladin, then I will do so myself!'_ Lotor's scream reverberated simultaneously with a roar so loud it was deafening, and he watched in awe as Blue rose from her prone position, her eyes lighting up yellow as she lowered her head and opened her maw, an awestruck Lotor just before the ramp.

 _'....What?'_ It was...hilarious, watching the confused, panicky look on the prince's face as he stood there, unsure of what to do, looking around before pointing a finger at himself and then looking at Blue like she was crazy.

 _'This- this is so_ _ **not**_ _what I meant-'_ The familiar static from the comms interrupted him, and Allura's voice, frantic and breathless, yelled at the prince to hurry up.

 _'Put on the suit and join the battle! We'll talk about this later, right now we need you to finish this, we don't have time!'_ The Lotor on the video spluttered before running away, coming back a few ticks later with the Blue paladin suit on, the helmet tucked under his arm.

He watched, trying to swallow his laughter, how the Galran tried in vain to stuff his hair into the helmet, cursing when he couldn't manage to do it and whispering under his breath how Allura did it.

He finally lost it when Lotor boarded Blue, and the next thing he knew, she'd headbutted the front wall at the speed of light, and the prince's screams and grumbles of annoyance filled the comms.

The device fell from his hand as he clutched his stomach, roaring in laughter, trying to breath through the hiccups and tears falling from his eyes.

"Oh my goddess, _Allura_! You promised you would not show him! That was not one of my proudest moments!" He heard his brother tell the princess, his voice meek and shy.

" _Please_ , it was a memorable event, the day you became a -temporary- paladin of Voltron, it was an ocassion for joy, and I wanted to share it with Lance. And look, joyful he is!" He gasped and huffed, doubled over and slowly trying to regain his breath, peeking one eye open to glance at his family, who were looking at him with content, their eyes soft as he slowly sat up, sighing when his bout of snickers died off.

"Okay -he began- first of all, that was awesome, and I'm glad you pulled Blue out of whatever had her so absentminded." Blue headbutted him on the chest before he could continue with that thought, and sent him the image of calm waters and a raging sea and an iced moor, which took him a while to decipher.

But once he did, he understood many things, and he flinched with the realization, apologizing to Blue as she did the same for him, although he reassured her that it was alright, that it had been the best decision at that time, that Lotor had been right, and he worried about his family's safety a thousand times more than his own.

And Blue, oh, his baby Blue, she had wanted nothing more than to keep him safe, she'd tried her best, she hadn't wanted to _leave_ , and her reasons were good enough that he could accept it, although he couldn't tell the others.

It had been when Penumbra had him trapped in their lab, when he'd been using Blue's powers to pass by unnoticed and keep his raging emotions frozen, tamed, so he could fulfill his self-imposed mission without hurdles.

He hadn't understood why it had happened, back then, but now he did. The missing piece slotted into place and everything made sense. He could remember that moment like it happened just yesterday, the overwhelming dread and terror that had bloomed after Blue's scream, her fear, her anguish and regret, her desperation at having to leave.

_Blue was screaming in his mind, she was panicking, which in turn made him panic, her thoughts were swirling and mixing in a mess of sounds and colors and feelings that he couldn't understand, trailing off in a high pitched sound that he deduced was a scream._

_She tried to visualize what she wanted him to see -danger, ships, battle-, but her quintessence was wavering, her voice warping and fading with each second that passed by, and it felt like her reassuring presence that had been with him every step of the way, was disappearing like mist, leaving him alone and cold and surrounded by death._

_He whimpered._

_A voice, terrified and small, not unlike a child's, reached his mind, uttering a single word that had his world crashing down on him with the weight of all the bad luck that seemed to follow him around._

_'Run'._

_A weight was lifted._

_He sucked in a sharp breath._

_Hira's voice abruptly cut off._

_A high pitched shriek broke everything made of glass in the room._

_He clutched his chest and tried to breathe._

_Blue's spell had been nullified. He was alone._

_And at the mercy of the terrifying being on the other side._

It was so obvious, now that he had the other side of the story.

Blue had left him to protect his family, to make sure he had a home to come back to, because Lotor had made her see reason, because he understood Lance would have never forgiven himself for being the cause of their suffering.

He was kind of relieved that things happened as they did, though, because as much as he'd hated that redo, as much as he would've liked to avoid that pain, he knew it had been for his family's sake, and that was enough.

"Lance?" He nearly jumped out of his seat, frowning at Blue's purrs and swatting her ethereal form before shrugging, focusing on Lotor once again, now at peace with knowing a part of his own adventure that he'd missed. He breathed in and followed through with his previous phrase, still intent on making fun of his space-brother.

"Second of all, _dude_ , was that why your hair was such a mess? Because you couldn't make it fit on your helmet? That's so _not_ graceful." The prince tugged at the short strands of his new haircut, pouting like he'd been denied candy.

" Third of all..... _thank you._ Thank you so much for protecting everyone in my stead, that means a lot to me. I know Blue saw just how much you cared, and how honest you were being, she saw how much you wanted to keep everyone safe and how you understood me, too."

" It's why she let you be the Blue paladin while I was away, even though that decision was difficult for her, I'm really proud of you both." Lotor glanced at him before the corners of his mouth lifted up, a sweet smile taking over while Blue's presence, curled on his shoulder, nudged his cheek and pressed the equivalent of a kiss on it, rumbling peacefully.

"Although..." Lance said as an afterthought. "I hope you've learnt to fly her better, because jesus christ that first take off!" Peals of laughter escaped his lips, and he couldn't seem to forget the image of Blue falling down on all fours after colliding with the wall. It was too funny. "So...after all that, what did you guys do?" He asked, curious and feeling lighter now that everyone's spirits had been lifted, the lion's included.

Pidge rose, ecstatic. "We kicked butt, _of course._ " She threw herself all over Hunk's lap, wiggling and making motions with her hands, expressive and excited. " Allura called us to her and we formed Voltron, and it was kinda shaky and weird at first, but we got the hang of it pretty quick, and then we _obliterated_ those dudes." She turned and lifted her hand, high-fiving Hunk with a heartfelt _'Yeah!_ ' as the princess and everyone watched on with a kind gaze.

"After that, it was just a matter of waiting. We continued to battle and ally with other planets, we grew wiser and stronger and gained scars that we sported as badges of honor, proof that we'd fought to our last breath to ensure the safety of all free people." Allura gingerly touched the back of her neck with a wishful look, and he wondered what story she had to tell and if she would ever be willing to share it with him.

"Those were hard times, but we did our best and kept holding on, waiting for you. Until one day, Blue screamed -for lack of a better word- and Lotor and I heard her voice asking us to hurry, a vision of the common room filling our minds." The prince nodded and finally stood up, walking towards Lance and squatting before him, holding his free hand and looking up at him, happy.

"Yes, we ran as fast as we could, calling onto the others, and when we arrived a rift was there, shining with the same light that the gate had emitted. And we remembered Allura's words from before, that we had to reach for you with all our hearts. So we did just that, and within minutes, our hands were stuck into that portal and then we were yanking back and-" A shudder ran through the prince's body, and Lance could feel it, feel the tremors and the goosebumps and the slight leftover anguish that originated from that memory alone.

"And there you were - Ezor whispered- frozen like an icicle inside out, not breathing or moving or anything. We thought you were dead." She rested her head on his shoulder with a sigh. " But then we followed Zethrid's procedures for resuscitation, and we kickstarted your lungs and stuff, and you came back to us. We were really happy." From his back, Narti curled her tail around his middle, her way of hugging him, of telling him just how worried she'd been.

"After that it was just a matter of waiting for you to wake up, and here we are." He heaved a heavy breath and slumped, feeling tired and spent like he'd lived through all those events, instead of learning about them just now. He couldn't believe his team had to go through all that, they must have been really stressed and tired, but he couldn't deny that he was happy they waited for him, that they yearned for him to come back.

But he was going to show them that the wait, the uncertainty and the fear, all of it had been worthwhile, because he'd managed to obtain the piece of info that they had sent him to retrieve in the first place. So he tried to digest and process everything, accept that things had changed and adapt to his new role -whatever it was- so he could join the fight again, so he could move forward.

And onto the good news.

Just the thought cheered him up, and he hummed before thinking of the best way of sharing what he knew, how to word it, what tone to use, if he wanted to be curt or cryptic or just-

"I know where Shiro is." Or he could just blurt it out like that. Dammit. It seemed his mouth couldn't keep up with his brain, good to know that that part of him hadn't changed.

The reaction was explosive, the response immediate. Everyone crowded him and demanded answers, asking the hows and whats and whens, the noises mixing into incomprehensible babble until a red blur opened a path between his teammates, pushing everyone away with black clad hands until he stood before Lance.

Keith looked down at him with wide eyes and hands clenched into fists, his shoulders tense and ready to snap, his voice carrying such intense hope when he spoke it was like getting struck by lightning.

"Where is he? Is he okay? _How_ do you know?" It was the most Keith had talked to him since he'd woken up, and of course, it was to inquire about his brother. He couldn't seem to even look Lance in the face from a distance, let alone say a word to him, but mention Shiro? And suddenly his voice worked and Lance was not invisible anymore.

But he understood, really, he would've done the same thing for Marco or Luis or Lotor, their safety a top priority before anything, or anyone, else.

It was stupid to be hurt over something like this, even moreso when he knew he was at fault for Keith's cold behavior towards him, but he'd missed his team more than he would like to admit, and that included the fiery red paladin as well.

He knew he still needed to apologize to him, so he got why the other was...reticent to interact with him, even though he'd had two months to simmer in his anger and -hopefully- let it vanish, so he'd hoped he would have mellowed a little with time.

But maybe it had the opposite effect and it made him even more furious, who knows.

But back to the matter at hand.... he looked up at the Red paladin, taking in his disheveled state and the bags under his eyes, the scar underneath his cheek and the sorry state his fingerless gloves were in, looking worn and torn like he'd been fidgeting with them a lot.

No matter how wounded he felt, or how much he wanted to be childish, he knew he couldn't lead Keith on or make him wait. It wasn't fair when he could see, clear as day, that his teammate was suffering far more than anyone else, his only family missing and the anguish over his departure as fresh as the first time they'd seen Black's cockpit empty.

He couldn't believe he'd even thought about leaving Keith out of this, he was such a moron.

"He's on planet Gladia, coordinates 97.307 WQ 9.50NF, and as for his status.....it's uknown, for now." Keith bit his lip and shook with restrained tremors, his right foot already moving backwards to turn around and -possibly- flee to search for their missing leader.

But Allura was faster, she clasped her hand on his shoulder, and calmly, with a soothing voice that commanded patience, explained to him why he shouldn't do anything stupid.

"Keith, do not be rash. I know you want to fly out and search for him right now, we all feel the same, but we just used a wormhole yesterday, and I need time to recharge and create another. That planet...those coordinates are many deca-phoebs away, it would take you too much time to arrive with the lions, let alone a pod, we need to use the castle, we need to have patience. " She smiled, patting his forearm before leaning close and whispering something to him, something he was privy to because of their closeness to him.

"Patience yields focus, does it not?" Keith stilled and froze, but slowly, gradually, his shoulders slumped and he let out a heavy sigh, his arms crossed against his chest as he lowered his gaze, eyes shiny enough that Lance thought he might cry.

And then his teammate turned away and left the premises, Allura watching him go with fond resignation, her eyes shifting to glance at him in curiosity and wonder, and that overwhelming pride that always threw him for a loop.

"Lance, could you explain how you know about Shiro's whereabouts?" He nodded, absent-mindedly twirling the hem of his night shirt, suddenly nervous for no reason.

"Yeah. I- uh, when I threw myself into the rift to-to seal it from the other side, I- uh....I learnt that many realities and worlds bled into that confined space, and I kind of- I caught a glimpse of him- of where he was, and I heard those coordinates and I just- I know it wasn't anything- clear, but I got a hunch and...I thought it was worthwhile to check..." He regretted his lie almost the moment it left his mouth, nobody was going to risk going to an uknown area of unexplored space just because of a _'hunch'._

He _knew_ Shiro was there, _knew_ Penumbra didn't lie to him -he'd felt it in their voice- but his team didn't, and he was hesitant to share that part of his ordeal with them, lest they worried even more about him.

"Ah...I know that sounds vague, I'm sorry. Maybe I shouldn't have said anything, Keith-" Red nudged his mind, soothing and soft, metaphorically shaking her head just as the princess turned and locked eyes with him, understanding and calm, a balm to his growing anxiousness and nerves.

"Do not worry about Keith, he's been like this since you destroyed the gate. I think he feels....responsible, somehow, because he'd been the leader back then. Maybe he felt like if he'd done more, you wouldn't have felt the need to cut us away." He jolted at her statement, which made it seem like he had lost contact with them on purpose, offended and bewildered she thought such things.

"Allura! I would've never-!" She rose her hand, motioning for him to stop.

"I know that, I didn't mean it like that. It was bad wording on my part, apologies. What I meant to say is, that maybe, Keith felt that if we'd supported you more, if we had been a better team for you, you would have sought our help, instead of destroying the gate to keep us safe." She walked towards the couch in front of him and plopped down, her dress billowing and settling down gently over her crossed legs.

"That....it would have changed nothing, you know? I...really care about you guys, all of you, so I would have done it even if we'd been, I don't know, cuddle buddies, or something." He heard Hunk snort and whisper something to Pidge, of which he caught _'cuddles'_ and _'Keith'_ , which left him confused and wondering if they were making fun of him or something.

"We know that now, Lance. It's in your nature to try and protect those you hold dear, but, for Keith, it felt like you were leaving because you didn't trust us enough to keep you -and all of us- safe. I'm sure he felt like he'd failed as a leader, and as a friend. I know how that feels, and it is awful." She averted her gaze, and the rest of the team seemed to look the other way, it felt like they were giving them privacy, it felt important.

"For I, too, have wronged you in the past, and I wanted to take this opportunity to tell you just how sorry I am, and how much I regret the way I doubted you and how...angry I was with you. It was completely uncalled for, and you deserved none of it." His breath stuttered in his chest, and he felt a gentle pull on his wrist, but he didn't dare look down.

"In these two months that you've been gone, I couldn't stop thinking about you, what I would do if I never got to apologize, if I never got to see you again. It was...horrible, and as the days passed by, I realized just how much I missed you, how much I needed you, how many wonderful ideas of yours I brushed away because I thought I knew better. I was so....selfish..." His body thrummed with energy that wanted to be released, his wrist warm and ticklish, feet moving on their own and planting themselves on the ground, trying to hold the weight of his worn-down body.

"I couldn't see past myself, past the Queen my father trained me to be. My mind told me that my choices were right, that I knew everyone's qualities and who would be better to strategize, to plan. And in my endeavor to try to rise to the woman I wanted to become for those that were once my people, I lost sight of what it truly meant to be a ruler." He wobbled and shook like a leaf, finally upright, needing to be closer, get near. Something was beckoning him, pleading for his closeness and his approval.

It was like fire running through his veins.

"I see where I did go wrong, and the things I now wish I could change, but the past is written in stone , and I can only ask for your forgiveness, and hope that you'll still want me as part of your family." He took one step, and then another, and another as he shakily made his way over to the princess, now clutching her dress too tightly.

"I was such an idiot, I never realized- never wanted to acknowledge that you were my new family, because the fear of losing you, of losing everyone I loved once again, made me keep everyone at an arms' length. I thought that if I just focused on the mission, it would be alright, father would be proud of me, and if one of you happened to- to get hurt, I would feel nothing." A choked laugh left her lips, he face pale and cheeks rosy as she seemed to try and keep her sobs at bay.

From this distance, he could see how wet her eyelashes were already.

"I have never been so wrong in my whole existence. When Shiro vanished, I cried all night and prayed to all our deities for his safety and his return, and when you left us....I cried and pleaded, demanded of our gods and goddesses they sent you back to me, that they returned my little brother back, or there would be hell to pay." He was so close now, if he leaned in, he could hold her hand and comfort her like he wanted to, feel the warmth of her body and gift her the hug that they both needed.

"I know I have no right to even call you brother, but I-" His last step faltered and he tripped, falling unceremoniously onto her lap, his arms around her neck as she let out an unholy shriek and held onto him, kind of scared but also hopeful.

"...Lance?" He breathed in her scent, the smell of the long gone juniberries still shrouding her being, the fruity shampoo they both shared remembering him of home, of pineapples and mangos and sunsets with piña coladas and his cousins.

"It's okay, I get it, it hasn't been easy for you either. You have a huge responsiblity on your shoulders, the last Queen, the last of your people -a fawaray cough- alongside Coran, the universe's last hope, the leader, the ambassador....it's understandeable that you didn't want to get hurt, that you couldn't take notice of everyone's needs." He felt her tremble against his chest, her arms circling his middle with hesitation, like she was doubtful whether she deserved the touch or not.

But he was having none of that.

"I don't blame you, you're a kid, too, you tried your best, and you learnt from your mistakes. It's okay, I forgive you, and I will wear with honor the badge that says _'Altea's best princess' little brother'._ " She finally embraced him back, and it was like flowers bloomed in his chest, like two ends tied closed and a cycle being completed, another missing part of himself that finally returned to its rightful place.

He could feel the tears on his shoulder, and the small cries that Allura allowed herself to let free, and when he risked a glance down with his sight, he saw the complete bracelet that could only belong to the princess, and felt his heart swell at it's beauty and radiance.

Pinks, magentas, reds and violets swirling in a storm of petals, flowers and juniberries blooming inside the jewel like his own small, private garden. It was beautiful. It was proof that their bond had been restored, that trust beyond breakable now tied them together.

He just hoped he wouldn't deceive that trust.

Allura backed away slightly and laughed softly, her hands carding through her hair. "Ah, I must look like such a mess, I'm truly sorry Lance." He opened his mouth to retort but- "Thank you. This time, I promise I won't let you down. Don't you worry about your hunch, instincts are something everyone has, and we've trusted them many times before, this one will be no different." He tilted his head, silently asking her about it.

"We trusted them when Shiro wanted to go look for the Blade, we trusted them when Keith wanted to check out those supply ships, when Pidge wanted to check out planet A-6 and Hunk _didn't_ want to land on planet A-6." She sent a sideways glance their way, and they just chuckled nervously.

"Hunches are based on intuition, they come from experience coupled with whatever information you manage to acquire, from theorizing and probability and many more things. They matter, your opinion matters, so we're going to go to those coordinates, and wherever we find Shiro or not, I'm sure the trip, and what we learn, will be worthwhile." He lit up at the honesty and truth in her words, feeling like he was finally where be belonged, where his voice would be heard and everyone would work together towards the same objective, just like it should've always been.

"Thanks, Allura. I know we will find something there, I'm sure of it. But in case that we don't....I hope Keith doesn't hold it against me." The princess rose, with him still on her lap, her arms curling around his back and hosting him up without trouble, walking towards Lotor before depositing him on the Galran's arms like he weighted nothing.

He felt like cargo. Or a sack of potatoes. He pouted.

"Do not worry, Lance, Keith was just worried about you, and he's been missing Shiro for a long time now, terribly so, he just...wants to latch onto even the smallest embers of hope for a chance to get him back. But he would never blame you, should we not find trace of him." He nodded, not quite as sure with that statement as she was, but then his friends giggled from the other side of the couch, and he watched as they got up, ready to leave.

"Yeah dude -said Pidge- I don't really think you have to worry about that. If anything, he felt really guilty, for a reason that he didn't want to tell us, so you're off the hook for a while." Hunk bobbed his head, walking backwards as he sent Lance some finger guns, which, rude, that was his signature move.

"Yes, man, don't mind him, he just has some stuff he needs to work through, just give him time." Hunk spoke just as the double doors opened, and he waved Lance goodbye, saying he was going to prepare dinner and would take him some to his room later, Pidge following suit after him with a wave of her own.

The prince took no time into following their example, gathering his sisters and Kova, who had been loitering around but now jumped on his chest, looking at him intently and without blinking, like she was entranced with his appearance.

"We will be taking Lance to our quarters, if that's alright with you, princess. Do call for us if we're needed." With a curt tilt of their heads, they moved in different directions, but before they walked too far away, Lance called out for Allura, asking for a favor.

" Let me know when we arrive to the planet, okay? I want to go on that mission, too. It's...important to me." She frowned, and he was sure she was going to deny him and forbid him from leaving his bed for a month, but she sighed and sent a kind, soft look his way instead.

"Okay, Lance, but only if you rest and take it easy. I'll go take a look at you with Coran later, and depending on your vitals we'll decide, yes?" The princess sent a look towards her advisor, who eagerly smiled, skipping until he was next to his protegé.

"Certainly, princess. I'll gather the necessary tools, and once we're ready to make the jump, we'll see how you're doing. We need to make sure no after effects are going to ail you and that you're healthy, my boy. But I'm optimistic about it, seeing as Blue hasn't gone on a rampage yet." Before he could ask what he meant with that, Lotor turned around and hastily exited the premises, and from his place between his arms, he could see the soft blush slowly coloring the prince's cheeks.

"Hey, Lotor, you got any idea what Coran meant?" From the way his brother's shoulders tensed, he supposed the answer was yes, and Ezor wasted no time in explaining him why.

"Ohhhh, little blue, you don't know what you missed out on, but fear not, I will tell you everything you need to know. So, picture this, we're on a mission to gather supplies on a quadrant faaar away from Galra command, on a minuscule galaxy that was supposed to be so insignificant no one would glance at it twice." He listened, enraptured by Ezor's expressive hand-gesturing, absent-mindedly scratching Kova's fur and petting her back. He nearly missed the familiar 'ding' of the elevator, focused as he was on the story.

"So, Lotor, along with us, are deployed to gather resources and supplies from a few small planets on that galaxy, and everything's just going smooth as silk. We land, we chat up the locals, charm them with our endearing looks and personalities -he snorted- quiet, you, you know it's true." He shook his head, Kova's whines asking for more pets that he was happy to provide, the motions relaxing.

"So we make friends with them and get a bunch of supplies and stuff and then-" Acxa cut her off, huffing in fake annoyance as she knocked shoulders with Ezor, the small ponytail on the side of her head bouncing with the movement.

"And then- these idiots finally realize that, hey, maybe it's strange that a planet wary of the Galra -like everyone else- is being so welcoming of, not one, but five members of that race." Acxa rolled her eyes in fond exasperation, Narti holding onto her hand as they walked, seeming happy to just listen for now.

Zethrid wasn't so keen on that.

"Yes, and then they have the gall to just- follow the locals to one of their mountains, where they said the supplies were, and _of course,_ it ended up being a trap. Galra scouts where there, and the locals just thought we were spies for the empire or something and wanted to reunite us with our companions." Zethris rose her hands in a shrug like motion, palms up, like she couldn't believe what she was saying actually happened.

Lotor looked offended and flustered as they entered what he recognized where his brother's quarters, and for some reason, Lance found his disgruntled expression hilarious.

"It was a honest mistake, how was I supposed to know?" The prince whined, settling Lance down onto the plush bed, the sheets soft like silk an cool to the touch, which was really soothing and nice, the mattress was really soft, too. Ezor jumped in besides him and he bounced a little from the impact, reclining against the pillows.

"So, so, we're cornered and the locals are confused when we begin to shoot at each other, but we ignore them and send a distress signal to the castle, waiting for extraction. Brother is fighting with your Bayard, which transforms into a reaaally cool halberd, and we're shooting at anything that moves, but there's too many of them and too little of us and-" She made a booming noise and opened her hands, depicting an explosion, which was concerning, even if he knew they would be okay in the end.

"We go flying, and man did it hurt. We ended up on different sides of the room, and brother was unconscious with some Galra soldiers ready to rip him a new one, with us too far away to do anything." He felt pressure against his back, and looked over his shoulder to see Narti cuddled around his back, looking comfortable and ready to take a nap.

"Cue then to the most terrifying noise anyone had ever heard, it was like thunder and a creature's roar and a scream at the same time, and in comes Blue, sweeping every enemy out the way with her claws and leaving the place barren in less than a tick. She was so angry, I was scared she'd eat me for a moment there." Ezor laughed as Lotor came back, now in pajamas with Zethrid in tow, a small glass of...something clutched on her hand.

"She wouldn't let anyone approach, not even us, and until Lotor woke up and assured her that he was fine, she didn't let up. Talk about overprotective." A rumble echoed inside his head, and from the way Lotor's ears twitched, he assumed he'd heart it, too. Blue took offense to that statement, she just wanted to keep her paladins safe, and maybe sometimes she...lost control when she was mad, but that was totally normal.

Or that's what _she_ thought.

And he knew it wasn't far from the truth, she loved every paladin she ever had in every universe and reality, in every world; past, present, and future. She was a calm ocean shrouding her pilots in a soothing melody when no danger was ahead, and a raging, churning sea with crashing waves when someone threatened her chosen ones.

It was just her nature.

" Anyway -Ezor continued- that's just one of the many stories we have to tell you, but that can wait, I can see you're about to keel over." She took the glass from Zethrid and passed it over to him, saying it was some medicine for his muscles and overall physical discomfort. The concoction tasted vaguely of lemon and honey, which remembered him about home, those rare times when he caught colds and his mom would make him a cup of hot water with lemon and honey to soothe his sore throat.

Immediately after drinking the cup, he felt a yawn coming up, and barely managed to stifle it with his hand before he was blearly blinking, feeling drained and drowsy and on the verge of passing out. Ezor was leaning against the pillows just to his right, and she was steadily running her fingers through his messy hair, humming a little tune that drove him closer to sleep.

"You should sleep if you're tired, Lance." He couldn't even look up at Lotor, his neck refusing to leave it's current position.

"But, I've been awake for barely half an hour...there's still so much I want to know...all I've done is sleep..." He retorted, whining and refusing the claim of sleep in his stubbornness to spend more time with his family, and also because- he kinda...dreaded sleep.

"Sleep is good -Lotor said, softly- it will help you heal and regain your strength, you need it. Besides, neither us, nor the stories we have to share will be going anywhere, you know? When you open your eyes, we will still be here, _you_ will still be here. There is no force strong enough in the universe that could tear us apart from you right now. Not us, and definitely not your friends, either ." His eyes closed down on their own accord, lulled by the gentle motions of Ezor's nimble fingers, the heat of Narti's body pressed against his back and the quiet rumbles of Kova, who was curled beside his chest.

Usually, he would be afraid to even close his eyes, to relive his worst nightmares and redos and have flashbacks that would make him wake up screaming, fearing something that was no longer there.

But it was different now. He was surrounded by familiar walls, familiar lights and smells and sheets, gentle touches and known sounds and a feeling in his chest that screamed home, safety. It drowned all his fears and made them seem inconsequential, made him yawn and melt on the squishy mattress, laying pliant and boneless, feeling like nothing could touch him there, nothing could harm him there.

The feeling of complete and utter safety that overwhelmed him was welcomed, and he felt the sleep he'd missed gathering and pushing his thoughts away, emptying his mind, reading his body for what he felt would be a long, looooong nap.

The last thing he saw as he finally succumbed to sleep, was the tender smile lighting up Lotor's face, and Axca's relieved look as she covered him with the duvet, the piece of cloth a comforting weight that buried his consciousness even deeper towards dreamland.

He breathed out once, snuggled against his pillows, and didn't notice when sleep finally claimed him.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For sporadic updates on how the next chapter is going on - or coming out, go follow my writing tumblr!
> 
> http://ultiwrites.tumblr.com/
> 
> Or talk to me at anytime on main!
> 
> http://ulticakey.tumblr.com/


	14. Tragedy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After finally returning home and dealing with everything that happened, Lance and the paladins are ready to move forward and onto the next step: find their missing leader and bring him back.
> 
> Lance is sure that Penumbra didn't lie to him, and that the coordinates he'd given the team where the place where they would find Shiro, where they could finally be whole again.
> 
> He wasn't wrong.
> 
> But what they found there was much more than they expected; hearts break and suffer, alliances are made and forces unite to retrieve what they all hold dear, it's a race against time.
> 
> Lance, for his part, is willing to make an effort to stop being a coward and talk to someone, finally. But his resolve seems to disturb something deep within his mind, and the darkness that lurks beneath the surface threatens to destroy everything he loves without mercy.
> 
> He is forced to make a choice while he bears witness to the most heartbreaking thing he's ever experienced, a pain uknown and a push from mysterious forces forcing him into a fate that he would've never wanted. For himself, or anyone.
> 
> But the tide is relentless, and he's not ready to give up.
> 
> Not now. Not ever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soooorry for the delay, i'm dumb. I thought the last chapter had been updated on the 27th, not on the 25th, so i'm two days late because i can't count, great lol.
> 
> Anyway here oficially begins the next arc, i hope you're ready for it because man- it's a mess. For further warnings on this, please go to the end notes yeah? I don't want anyone to be uncomfortable, be safe and check them out first if you're squeamish pls. But beware SPOILERS ON THEM, so only check them out if you need to.
> 
> This arc is my fav, but it's also being the most difficult to write to date, i just can't seem to get the emotion right, but i hope it transmits as i wanted. Enjoy! And if you have a tick, drop a comment! I live from those lmao. <3<3
> 
> Also:
> 
> You: Wondering why the chap it's titled like that.  
> Me, from behind the screen: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
> 
> LOVE, ULTI <3 :D

* * *

When he woke up the next time, warm and snuggly against his sheets, he was amazed to discover that barely nothing hurt, besides his sore throat and some muscles which were still burning and a little sore. But that was admittedly _way_ better than the day prior, so he had no complaints, really, Zethrid's medicines were a god-sent, and he couldn't believe the effectivity of them sometimes.

He felt _good_ , with just a crick on his neck and a light tiredness still weighing him down, but nothing he couldn't handle, he was used to being roughed up -it was kind of creepy actually, and he was sure not healthy at all- so a few cramps here and there and some bruises were literally nothing for him.

He realized that Kova was still curled against his chest, and that Narti purred against his back, -the vibrations comforting and soothing- the rest of his sisters strewn around the bed in a heap of limbs and a mess of sheets and cloth that was hilarious to look at. Ezor was even drooling a little, and they all looked so relaxed and boneless he wondered when it had been the last time they had taken a break or rested like they should.

He wanted to stretch his hand and brush back the hair that fell on Acxa's face, but when he tried to move it, he noticed it was held in place, clasped tightly by Ezor's nimble fingers, Acxa's pinky sandwiched in between and Zethrid's thumb lightly brushing against his knuckles.

It was endearing, and he honest to god had to swallow the coos that wanted to leave his lips. He was sure his sisters would not appreciate them, since they had to keep up appearances and stuff. But the need was so strong...so tempting...

Acxa rolled around and collided with Zethrid's arm, the former scrunching up her nose adorably while she mumbled nonsense, snuggling against the limb and holding onto it like it was a plushy. She cuddled onto the other's side and sighed in satisfaction when she finally settled, her sister's head turning to rest on top of her own unconsciously.

He wanted to _die_.

When was a camera when he needed one? It had to be, like, sacrilegious or something not to record this, to have proof that this actually happened. He knew that Galran ' _families_ ' were really affectionate with each other, but this was too much, this was the best thing he'd ever seen and he couldn't move or do _anything_ about it.

He was trapped in between a purring alien-cat, and a rumbling little sister who he didn't dare wake, lest she became cranky and sad and gave him the equivalent to the puppy dog eyes, which he _knew_ he wouldn't be able to take. He'd done that _once_ , and quickly learnt that you _do not_ wake up Narti, she rose on her own, or not at all, there was no in-between.

He was still thinking a good way of moving from the bed without waking the engine on his back when the doors opened, the sound rousing his bed mates as they slowly stretched and yawned, disentangling themselves from each other like it was nothing, like they did this every day.

He mourned the loss of what coud have been some really sweet and cavity-inducing photos, but his pout vanished as soon as Lotor strided in, looking fresh and radiant like he'd been rejuvenated, a smile painted on his face as he caught sight of him. His eyes twinkled with a light that had been dimmed the day before, and it gave his blue irises a cyan shine that made them pop against the orange barrette he used to hold his fringe back.

Which, _adorable_ , by the way.

It seemed that, in his time away, his siblings had turned into fluffy, cute, super affectionate and cuddly overgrown cats -not that they weren't that way before, but it seemed that whatever walls they had still left had been destroyed, and now they gifted him and each other with gentle touches and nuzzles without bating an eye.

He supposed that was another thing that had come forth as a result of his departure.

He didn't know if that was a good thing or not.

"Stop thinking so much, I can see smoke coming out of your ears." He glanced up and strengthened his pout, giving Lotor a pitiful look that said he was _not_ amused. The other just smiled brighter, so much so that he thought he would need sunglasses or risk going blind.

" I'm glad to see you awake again, your companions were wondering if you were going to miss lunch, and told me to see if I could wake you and bring you down." He nodded in understanding, just now noticing how his stomach rumbled, albeit softly. He hadn't really eaten anything in a while, and he'd already slept enough as it was, he needed some food before he became more of a twig than he already was.

That's what his grandma used to say anyways.

"Okay, just give me some clothes and I'll be down in a minute." His sisters got up from the bed one by one, leaving to do their morning routine -he supposed- and he felt Narti rise and back away from his back, which grew cold in the absence of her warmth, making him shiver.

She patted his arm twice, and when he turned around she pointed at her own ears before then pointing at him -which confused him to no end- but she just repeated the action and then left, a skip in her step.

His fingers lightly touched his own ear, and he tilted his head, uncomprehending.

"What was all that about?" He heard Lotor chuckle, the sound alive with emotion and thrumming with energy.

"Ah....do you remember the earring we gave you? The one that we all have a replica of?" He froze for a tick before his hands touched both of his ears, noticing the empty space where the piece of jewelry had once been.

"Oh sh- did I lose it? I didn't- oh man, I was so busy on the other side I didn't even remember I was wearing it! I- I'm so sorry...." He averted his gaze and focused on the violet sheets, hearing some rummaging and the telltale sound of drawers being opened and closed, the rustle of cloth and then a sigh as some garments were deposited before him.

"No, no, do not worry about that. You didn't lose it at all. It was just...when you came through the rift, the piece had frozen to your skin, we had to take it out carefully so it wouldn't scar your ear. Narti was just reminding you about it, nothing more." He let out a confused noise.

"Narti just wanted you to wear it again, because that was actually the reason we found you as fast as we did. You know the earring has a tracker, right? - he nodded- Well, when the gate was destroyed, the signal it emitted got cut off, and we couldn't recover it no matter what, and then we learnt we had to wait for you to return and we kind of...forgot about it." Lotor sat on the edge of the bed, a wistful smile tilting up the corners of his mouth.

"But when the rift opened, it seems like the tracker was able to transmit again, and Narti, with her sensitive hearing, noticed that it was working once more, following the signal towards the _correct_ common room _._ ”

“ It turns out the ship had many chambers that mirrored each other, and so, the image that Blue sent us wasn't very helpful. But thanks to Narti, who warned us of the disturbance, we didnt have to do a mindless search, following instead the signal towards her position. And that's when we found the fissure, when we found _you_." Looking at his closed fist, the Galran shut his eyes, raising it to his chest and seeming to curl around the limb, his voice carrying an air of...gratefulness that Lance didn't understand.

"If if hadn't been for the earring, we may have not found the rift in time, it might have vanished and we would have lost the chance to reach for you, to bring you back _home_.” A shaky sigh.

“For us, it's a beacon of _hope_ , the thing that kept us connected even when you were such distance away. So, really, Narti wants you to wear it because she's happy it kept us linked to you, and because her advanced hearing was useful for once." The prince opened his palm, in which the small earring lay, and he didn't have to think twice about it before he was reaching out, clasping the trinket to his ear with ease.

"She was quite adamant about keeping everyone located at any time, paranoid about missing anymore family, and even made some trackers for the rest of the team, with the only difference that theirs are necklaces instead." Lotor stretched and got up, walking towards the doors before stopping for a tick, shoulders tight.

"She wasn't the only one, of course. We all....we grew closer after you went missing, we learnt that we needed to rely on each other and keep one another safe. We weren't about to let _anyone_ else slip through our fingers." He turned and looked at Lance with a bittersweet frown that quickly turned into a relaxed, soft expression.

"But it was also a good experience. I had time to -bond, I think you called it- with the paladins and the princess, and in the process we realized that our lack of trust was born from fear and lack of communication.”

“They didn't know me, so they were wary of me. We solved that with endless chats at midnight accompanied by snacks, slumber parties and just....talking with each other." He was pleasantly surprised with this new revelation, but it explained many things, and it filled him with relief knowing that his team and his space siblings got along and had forged a friendship in his absence.

They had supported each other and grown together when he wasn't there to see it, and it _hurt_ , yeah, but the joy and gratitude and pride he felt overshadowed that pain by far.

"I think I even managed to make Blue like me _some_." Both of them laughed, the sound echoing. "Anyway I'm rambling, I'll wait for you in the dinning room, okay?" He answered with a whispered ' _yeah_ ' not wanting to strain his voice even though it was nearly healed.

Carefully moving Kova from where she was still curled into a ball, he got up from the bed, shivering as his feet made contact with the cold, metal floors of the castle, shedding his pajamas and dressing with the soft pants and shirt Lotor had left for him.

They were a shade of blue that shone violet in the light, it was a nice color.

Once he was done, and without waiting for the girls - he knew they liked long baths, they wouldn't be out anytime soon- he made his way out of the room and into the elevator, knowing the path by heart, marveling at the way his joints didn't scream everytime he walked.

He exited once he was on the first floor and crossed familiar hallways and corridors until he reached the dinning room, where everyone was eating and chatting.

Well, _almost_ everyone.

The red paladin couldn't be seen anywhere, and when he asked Hunk about it, he only received a shake of his head as an answer, his best friend's sporting a sorrowful look in his eyes while he told him that they hadn't seen Keith all morning.

He wondered, out loud, if they should be worried or this was a normal occurrence for him, and, sadly, Pidge admitted that Keith had been kind of...withdrawn and keeping to himself since Lance vanished.

She said that he still talked to them on a regular basis, joined some of the meals and completed his missions without complaint, but he always seemed strung up and on the verge of snapping, like a thread that was stretched and stretched until it couldn't give anymore, threatening to break at the slightest pressure.

They had tried their best to be inclusive and make Keith talk about whatever was bothering him, Lotor added, but besides the fact that he felt guilty for Lance's disappearance like Allura had said -and that was just conjecture on their part- they knew _nothing_ of what ailed him, and he wasn't too keen on sharing, either.

It made Lance feel like maybe he had something to do with Keith's sudden bout of escapism, and the notion that he was so angry with him that he couldn't bear to be in the same room as Lance made a weight settle on his chest and constrict his heart.

He felt like crying.

But then Hunk, shining bright and full of energy and joy, brought him a plate of food, saying he had managed to recreate the taste of mangoes and pineapple, and Lance took a spoonful and ascended to another plane of existence, tears gathering in the corner of his eyes at the explosion of flavor on his tongue.

Hunk said that he'd been saving this for when he came back -and if the faithfulness of the ' _when_ ' didn't make him cry it was by sheer force of will alone- that it had been his way of de-stressing when he became too worried and anxious about Lance, wondering if he was alone or taken care of even when Allura told them that he was doing great and had the best company possible.

He devoured his first serving, and then had seconds and thirds and by the end of the meal, he felt lighter and more calm, the bitterness left on his tongue reminding him of home. It was right then, when he felt sated and content, that he learnt from Lotor that it would take the ship a few days to arrive to the coordinates Penumbra had given him, even with crossing a wormhole to the other side.

It seemed that Allura had told his brother- a few hours back- that the place Lance wanted to go to was difficult to access, that there were asteroid fields and gravitational irregularities among many electromagnetic disturbances and dying celestial bodies.

He barely understood any of that, sitting on the plush chair -when had they bought _these_?-with a confused frown. But Pidge -bless her and her brain- had translated for him, saying that they were basically boned if they didn't fly through all that like pros. One tiny mistake, and they were all toast, kinda like that time they had to go to the Blade's HQ.

It kind of sucked, to have to go slow when he knew hope was so near -maybe that was one of the reasons Keith was upset?-, when he was so sure they were going to get their leader back. But he wouldn't dare risk anyone's safety just because he was hasty. This time, he would have _patience_ , he would go with the flow and follow his companion's orders, do things one step at the time.

He didn't want another fiasco to happen just because he bit off more than he could chew.

Meanwhile, though, they were all stuck in the castle, and that gave him the time to invest in a few things that he hadn't had time to check, and recover a bit more from the whole ordeal while he was at it too- mentally, he meant, his body was already on the path of recovery.

He'd planned to go to his room -the one on the third floor- first, bidding everyone goodbye after he'd finished eating, saying he was going to rest some more. But Coran and Allura intercepted him as he was leaving, and they nagged him and gave him chastising looks until he gave in, following both of them to the medical bay for a ' _quick_ ' examination.

Once there, he'd assured them a thousand times over that he was fine; tired, sore and worn out, but completely healthy. He told them that Zethrid's medicines had done wonders, and that if something were _really_ wrong with him, Blue would be making a fuss, and Lotor would _definitely_ know, now that they were bonded as well.

The alteans had seemed to hesitate at first, looking at each other with muted worry and an anxiousness that seemed to vibrate with every word they told him, their arguments sound and logical, the only thing in their minds being his well being.

But after a few rebuttals and some convincing logic -they both knew Lotor would be going on a rampage if Blue told him something was wrong with Lance, and she _definitely_ would, as things were right now- they agreed to run a few basic checks with that Coran called their ' _primitive tools_ ' to see if any anomalies could be found on his bloodstream or his body in general.

Thankfully, the abnormality of his quintessence didn't show on blood tests or the physical exams, and as both of them came out clear, Allura assured him that, like she'd promised, he would be able to go on the next mission, given that he was recovered enough to fight.

To ensure that, the princess ushered him out of the med bay and on the way to his own room, telling him to take a break and take things slow, that he had a few days to find his balance again and get used to things as they were now.

He didn't complain, not really.

There were some things that he needed to do, and for that, privacy and focus were needed. So he waved her goodbye and walked all the way back to his quarters, his feet moving on their own, the path ingrained into his body in a way that ensured he would _never_ forget.

He exited the elevator and turned the corner, the doors opening with a whirring sound as he came face to face with....an extremely clean, organized, and not-messy room, everything shiny and polished and squeaky clean.

An unbidden smile bloomed on his face at the thought that his teammates had kept his room clean just for _him_ , because they awaited his return, because they didn't doubt that he'd _come back_ one day.

He threw himself into the white, fluffy mattress and screamed into the pillows, feeling Blue's amusement and curiosity as she materialized near him, her aura dripping down the comforter and onto the ground, where it proceeded to bathe the floor with cyan and aquamarine and indigo.

It reminded him of the ocean.

He lay there, mesmerized by the shades of blue until his eyes grew tired and his mind remembered that he'd come here with a purpose, to verify some things he hadn't the time to do when his teammates had been swarming him all day before.

 _Again_ , not that he was complaining, but he needed to make sure his redos were still intact, no matter how much he would've liked to ignore them.

The first thing he did after he made sure that his room was properly locked, was check if his powers were still active -which they were, sadly- and then use each of them to test that they worked as they should.

He even took a look at his bracelets, all of them complete and thriving save Keith's, which was broken and faded, fractured and frail and rough on the edges, seeming to shock him with lightning everytime it touched his skin.

As if it screamed _'don't touch, don't get close'._

It was disheartening.

But he swallowed his dismay, leaving those thoughts for another time and focusing on the task at hand, intent on knowing if the other reality had messed up his _'condition'_ beyond repair, or if everything returned to the way it should be, without more problems to add to his ever-growing list.

To do that, he took a small trip to the astral plane with Black's help after the latter assured him it was harmless, wanting to see the havoc his redos on the other side had caused, meditating on his bed til he found himself in that vast landscape swarming with his lost lifes, his pain, the price he'd paid for every single one of his mistakes.

Once there, he thought the total amounted to -at least- sixty lost lives, even though he hadn't really counted them. But he'd seen many bodies slumped and broken on the ground, bleeding and devoid of color, and he just...guessed, he didn't have the heart to count each one.

But he saw that there were still many left, hundreds of split images of his person standing below the purple and pink clouds, stars shining bright in the sky like a beacon, illuminating their faces with an eerie glow.

It looked like everything was okay -although he didn't know how to gauge that- and if his redos had gone back to work like they should....if something happened to him now....he should come back like always and lose only one life, like in the beginning.

It was reassuring, in a way, no matter how much he despised these powers he'd gotten cursed with. Because they might be useful, _yeah_ , they might have helped him save the people he cared about many times over, _yeah_ , but in the end....In the end, he was still scared, he didn't know what those powers entailed, what they were doing to him and his quintessence, if they were going to alter him permanently after everything ended.

He didn't even know _when_ it would end, didn't remember what the voices of those sacrificed souls had asked for. They always whispered it to him after he died, but their pleas were so faint and distorted, so shrouded by rage and grief, that when he woke up, nothing remained but a vague idea of their wish.

He just wanted to feel _normal_ again, wanted to follow other Keith's advice and confide in _someone_ , share his burden so it wouldn't feel like it was crushing his very being, let go and be comforted and told everything was going to be _fine_.

He wanted- _needed_ someone to know.

He didn't want to be alone anymore.

Even when the whispers overwhelmed his mind and made him hesitate to the point of silence, always preventing him from getting out a single word. Even when is breath seemed to leave him and his throat wouldn't work, the words stuck in his chest and fighting for a release that would never come. Even when it felt like death was lurking just behind the corner, ready to take him if he so much as dared think of speaking his mind.

He was just _so_ tired.....he needed to let it out before it drove him mad...he needed to have a talk with Keith.

As the red paladin came to mind -a picture of his devastated face filtering into his thoughts- every single one of his doppelgänger's turned in unison to stare at him, making him gasp and take a step back, fear grasping his heart in a vice as their wide, unseeing blue eyes focused on him with disturbing intensity.

They didn't blink, didn't move, they just stared at him with an unchanging expression, mouths open and heads tilted to the right as the sky seemed to darken, becoming an inky black that made him unable to breathe or think. And then he heard it, a faint thumping, a crescendo of noise, deafening as it began to fill his ears and mind, accompanied with a buzzying sound that eventually formed words.

Distorted and shrill, cold and monotone, they filled his mind.

_'Red'_

_'You'_

_'Don't'_

Their echoes thrummed like thunder in his ears, once, twice, a thousand times until he could hear nothing else but the otherworldly voices and their screams, their blue veiled eyes glancing upon his soul, tearing him apart, breaking him to shreds as they pushed and pushed against his mind, dread overtaking all his senses.

As the noise reached it's peak and his head felt like it would explode, he caught a glimpse, a faint image of red and black and blue, of wind and rock and tears and a silent, painful word uttered with the utmost misery, agony and grief he'd ever heard.

He thought it sounded like goodbye.

He thought he heard a laugh.

And then he was being whisked away with such force his physical body fell to the ground -he felt it- convulsing and shaking as though shocked while his spirit, his _quintessence_ , was forcibly pulled away from the astral plane, every nerve burning like wildfire.

The last thing he saw as his vision darkened completely was the many hundreds of lives that sported his face, smiling wide from ear to ear with the creepiest grin he'd ever seen.

And then he was on the ground heaving and coughing up a storm, shaking like a leaf and crying as his throat burnt and his chest ached, his legs failing to support him and making him stay curled up on the ground, fighting nausea and a panic attack that was as sudden as it was unwelcome.

He felt, more than heard, as Black laid down on his side, curling besides his chest, purring and whining, sending him apology after apology and a feeling of confusion and anger that told him the lion had no idea what had happened either.

They both lay there, waiting for Lance to recover as Black kept nuzzling his chin and sending him warm vibes and thoughts; flower beds, children's laughs, beautiful festivals and fireworks, flowing dresses and precious, shining jewels.

They were wonderful images filled with joy and happiness, the peacefulness radiating from them making him sigh, but they became extremely sad and melancholic when he realized they were pictures from a time when Altea still existed, from the time Black spent there and the things he'd seen.

The juniberri fields that little Allura played in, the Altean children's laughs as they climbed Black's paws and he watched, amused, as they tried to reach his head. The quintessence festival and their techo-lights as the whole planet lit up to celebrate family and venerate their Goddesses. The dress of Allura's mother as she twirled around with Alfor, both of them sporting blue and pink jewels that sparkled almost as bright as their eyes did, filled with love and mirth.

It was devastatingly beautiful.

And it distracted him enough for him to get his breathing under control and close his eyes as he slumped on the cold, hard floor, his body still shaking with the aftershocks of his little episode, mouth dry and eyes watery as he willed the nausea away.

He could see the eerie picture of the astral plane behind his closed eyelids, the smiling, unfeeling faces staring back at him, a kind of unsettling foreboding written in the lines of their slitted eyes and stretched mouths.

It made him shudder and sent a shiver down his spine.

He crawled through the floor, unable to even walk, and climbed his comforter until he was atop his bed, where he proceeded to lie curled into a ball, his breaths short and heartbeat too fast as his mind slowly regained it's clarity. Shadows seemed to dance on the corners of his eye, and a deep feeling of trepidation had him on edge even thought he didn't know _why_.

This was too much, he couldn't do this alone anymore-

He had to-

To talk with-

With anyone- with-

With...

...

He _knew_ he wanted to talk with Keith, he had been preparing himself for it, but-

The moment the idea crossed his mind, a deep, drowning fear and terror assaulted his being, and suddenly- He couldn't breathe and- He was so scared- They were going to hate him- He couldn't do this- It was better to stay silent- They'll call him a monster- His chest hurt- He would lose everyone- It was the only way- Do not tell- Unnecessary- He needed this- W _hy_ \- Painful- It _hurts_ \- Didn't have to- S _top_.

He trembled, barely feeling the presence of the lions as they tried to comfort him, his mind swarmed by too many emotions, ones that he wasn't sure were _his_. He saw an image of himself, eyes closed tight and hands covering his ears, mouth open in a silent scream as static drowned any other sound but the shrill _'no'_ he could hear in between the white noise.

His figure was bathed in red.

Nothing but darkness around him.

He didn't sleep that night.

He spent the next four days avoiding the red paladin like the plague -not that he made it very difficult since he was nearly always absent, but Lance made an extra effort to avoid any sort of contact or interaction with Keith, steering clear of the places he knew the other frequented and changing his schedule to miss his teammate's.

If the others found it strange, they didn't comment on it.

Maybe they thought he was giving him space.

He couldn't tell them that he was scared and unsettled and didn't know _why_ , he couldn't tell them that he didn't _understand_ , and that he was -extremely and suddenly- afraid of himself, of what he held within his chest, the laughs from days past still fresh in his mind, still making his skin crawl and his body freeze in fear.

He spent the fourth night trying to sleep on his own room, the lions curled around him.

But not even the warmth of their presence could vanish the disquiet that coated his skin or the extreme unease that thrummed through his veins. He felt that the only way of regaining his sense of self and balance was confiding in someone about _everything,_ but that path was barricaded by the terror that the thought evoqued in him.

A terror that he _knew_ wasn't his, but scared him nonetheless, making communication almost impossible.

He was at an impasse.

He lay awake until the light of the fifth day shone upon him, and then the alarms blared.

And they moved.

\--

The comms came to life just as he was thinking of getting up, sore and grumpy from his lack of sleep over the past four days, still jumpy and paranoid over the strange experience he had on the astral plane, which he wouldn't be visiting anytime soon.

Black wouldn't let him, anyway.

He dropped his feet over the edge of his bed and sighed when they made contact with the floor, cold and smooth, taking away the slight fuzzyness on his mind and brining him back to the present as he stretched, listening to the upcoming message from the bridge.

"Paladins, this is Allura speaking, come to the control room as soon as you're available. We've reached our destination and I've got some.... _news_ , to share with you all." The transmission cut off, and he jumped from the bed and walked towards his closet with a wobble in his step, still exhausted and cranky from the sleepless nights he spent wondering, trying to piece together a puzzle he couldn't see.

He carried on his back a weight he couldn't make sense of, and the shadows of the astral plane seemed to follow him around, gripping his heart in a vice when he last expected it, terryfing him beyond belief.

The lions didn't know what was going on, and Black didn't either. The head of voltron had been trying to comprehend what it all meant, but came back empty handed the whole time. He didn't want to wander around Lance's portion of the astral plane for too long, saying that he didn't like the feel of it, saying that something felt _wrong_.

And wasn't that the truth.

Something had been wrong with him since the very beggining, but only now was he noticing just how many things didn't make sense, how many didn't add up and how stupid some sounded when said out loud, like his utter refusal and denial about telling anyone about his redos.

That, among many other things that he could now see clearer than before.

He thought his time on the other reality might have had something to do with it, if the way his redos had been fucked over was anything to go by, but he didn't have any proof or insight of what the problem could be, so he was stuck.

And scared of himself. He didn't know how to proceed.

But he wouldn't let his fear control him, he would find out what was wrong _eventually_ , and until then, he had a leader -and friend- to rescue. Just thinking about seeing Shiro again, about finding him and brining him back home filed him with a steel determination that vanished any doubt or hesitation he might of had.

It wasn't enough to silence the dreadful whispers always on the edge of his mind - too far out of reach to listen to, but a constant rumble that drove him crazy when everything was silent- but sufficed to make him brush away his troubles and focus on more important things.

Like making Voltron whole again.

Penumbra had promised, and so had _he._ It couldn't be a lie.

He _knew_ it wasn't.

He shuffled through the layers of clothes and ended up grabbing his usual jacket, wearing some simple blue t-shirt and black pants underneath, shuddering when the smell of stored cloth reached his nose.

He missed the way his jacket used to smell like coconut.

This just served as a reminder of the time he'd lost.

He put on some boots that were around and then grabbed his bayard -for good measure- walking towards the elevator just as the lions -who had been loitering around while he daydreamed- disappeared like mist, rumbling slightly in anticipation, which he took as a good sign.

Their excitement was contagious, and he found himself moving quicker, swifter, suddenly vibrating out of his skin with the need to _move_.

He crossed the hallway to the right and got to the lift in record time -his legs finally working at full speed- punching in the code for the first floor and tapping his foot, impatience getting the best of him, his heart about to beat out of his ribcage with the emotion bundled inside his chest.

He looked up just in time to watch as the blue light changed to the Altean equivalent of ' _one_ ', all noise stopping as the hatch opened with a whirring sound, signaling the end of the trip. He wasted no time in running towards the bridge as soon as the way was clear, eagerness running through his veins as the doors opened, letting him see the inside.

He saw Keith from the corner of his eye first, the red of his armour strikingly bright.

The red paladin was reclined against the left wall with his arms crossed, his expression grave and stone cold, like he wanted to be anywhere but there, probably preferring to be outside, looking for his brother.

His brows were scruched up as if in pain, his mouth upturned in what he guessed was disgust, his hands clenching his forearms so tight he could hear the armor creak fom where he stood. He had sourness written on every line of his body, anger and a desire for violence and the need– to move, to act, to do _something_ , thrumming loudly from his every breath.

It was....disconcerting.

The rest of the team was all gathered around Allura -sans Pidge-, and they weren't faring much better than their resident angry paladin, all of them staring at a big screen above her workplace with various degrees of disgust and fear, their parlors all pale and furious, brows furrowed in disdain.

Lotor was the first to turn around as soon as Lance strided forward, beckoning him with a wave of his hand until he was standing in between him and Hunk, his friend sending him a look that spoke volumes of how scared he really was.

"Dude, what's going on? And where's Pidge?" Hunk pointed to the corner on the far end of the room, where he -after squinting some- finally sported the green paladin, both her fists resting on the glass panels, head bowed and whole body shaking, the tremors so bad they shook her whole frame, looking almost like she would break.

He couldn't see her face, but it was obvious something was really wrong here. He made a move to walk towards her, intent on comforting his friend and ask what happened, but Hunk held his wrist, like he already knew what he was going to do -and he was sure he did, he knew Lance like the back of his hand- shaking his head with a sorrowful, frustrated look that broke his heart.

Because Pidge was one of the bravest, strongest people he knew, and whatever had shook her, whatever had brought her to her breaking point, had to be something _really_ bad, and he wasn't sure if he wanted to know.

But looking back at her, the soft sounds of sniffles reaching his ears, carrying so much grief and yearning and sadness but also _hope_ , he was sure he would find out anyway, because he would do anything to make her -or any of his teammates- happy, to make sure they were okay, to brush those tears away and replace them with laughs.

He took a step back and locked gazes with Hunk, both of them sharing a look of steel determination, a will to protect their family and erase anything that dared hurt their loved ones. Hunk let him go, and they fist-bumped before Lance faced Allura's pedestal once more, confusedly gazing at the screen above with a question in his eyes.

A question that took no time in being answered.

The princess looked down at him with a pained smile, her eyes holding regret as well as hope, hands clenched tightly on her forearms. "Lance, I'm glad you've arrived. I already gave a quick briefing on the situation to the team, but...you need to know as well. You told us that Shiro was here, and, well....you were not _wrong_." He felt his smile bloom on his face before he could stop it, his eyes widening as he subconsciously took a step forward, not daring to believe that it was _real_ , that he finally found their leader.

He wondered why no one else was smiling at the news, and if it had something to do with Pidge's state. The somber and wretched atmosphere sobered him up as his smile turned into a frown, worry and concern now replacing the blubbering joy that had taken him over for a few short ticks.

"But this is....this is one of the worst places he could have ended on." Allura continued." This planet is called Gladia, as you said. It is...a Galran-controlled environment made for....recreational purposes." She made a face at that, and he blinked once, confused, wondering if he heard right.

"You- you mean like, an amusement park?" His tone of voice was skeptical and disbelieving even thought he didn't mean to, it wasn't like he doubted Allura's words, and he knew for a fact that they were in the right place. But he still couldn't understand the dread that threatened to suffocate him and everyone else, the seriousness of the situation escaping him as he just arrived a few minutes ago.

He was missing something.

"Yes -Lotor answered- it is quite as you said, a place for the ' _amusement_ ' of the Galran soldiers that need a breather from their duties, a world to unwind and release their deepest desires to their hearts content." He was about to ask what was wrong with that when-

"A place to unleash their wildest fantasies and quirks, a place without restraints and where their actions have no consequences, a place where the Galra are the judge, jury and executioner." Lance felt himself blanch at the reveal, nausea rising in his throat at the implications of such certain affirmations.

"You need to understand that, as it stands, Galra citizens have become nothing more than killing machines. Haggar, that witch, has corrupted them beyond belief, and Zarkon has helped her every step of the way." The prince stopped, as if the words pained him, as if talking about his father was worse than any wound he'd ever received.

It was understandable, but he hated watching him suffer, hated the mournful expression he always made when he thought no one was looking.

"Their incstincts have become violent and wild, they are bloodthirsty and cruel and, in their hearts, only the heat of battle seems to set them alight and make them feel alive, only the thought of a good challenge or fight gives them any sort of emotion resembling happiness." Lotor's face morphed into one of utter disgust and revulsion, his mouth upturned in a way that made him look feral and untamed, a force of nature to be reckoned with.

"Knowing that, you can understand the whole picture, and guess why an ' _Amusement park'_ in Galran terms might be...slightly different than other species', specially with their war-focused minds." The prince gestured to Allura, who, with scrunched up brows and a snarl on her lips, clicked a button that lit up the screen above their heads, averting her gaze before sounds began blaring from the speakers.

"This is a leaked transmission we received from their daily servers. The sender is still a mistery, although they told us they would contact us again as soon as they had another safe channel to do so. Their message had a file attached to it, a video of a fight held on a place they call the ' _Coliseum_ ', which stands next to the ' _Hunting grounds'_ and the _'Pier'."_ The sounds from the holo-screen grew louder and louder, and then he was watching something he didn't understand, still frowning and biting his lip in anxiousness.

An anxiousness that increased tenfold when everyone else refused to watch and Pidge whined in distress from her hiding place.

 _'Welcome, soldiers and warriors, to another exciting match of the Galran coliseum!'_ A voice not unlike one of those commentators on soccer matches back home yelled. _' Let's begin today's match! Place your vote on which prisoners you want to see pitted against each other, and then feel free to bet on who will win! We have up to thirty prisoners today, so choose wisely!'_ An image of a big arena came into focus, hundreds of Galran soldiers sitting among the rows of stone, screaming and hollering, fists in the air as they chanted something.

 _'Ohhh, it looks like the recounting is done! Our first chosen fighter is-_ ' A loud drum roll was heard. ' _\- Unbelievable! For the fourth time this movement, our chosen contender is- the Champion!'_ Lance gasped and looked up, his heartbeat rising to unhealthy levels, not noticing when his eyes had strayed from the screen, only listening to the voice but never watching.

 _"What!?_ " He had meant to whisper that, but it came out more like a wretched, raspy scream, his throat dry as he tried to gulp down the unease rising from his gut to his chest.

 _'The all-time favorite rules the arena once more, but who will engage in mortal battle? Will it be a repeat of the last four quintants? Let's see what the vote says!'_ Another drum-roll as the screen focused on the commenter, who smirked like he was having the time of his life.

 _' Aaaand here it comes! As predicted, the rival chosen for the famed Champion is none other than his adversary from quintants prior! The unbeatable, captured Revel that fought our forces and decimated more than five units! The one that shares race with Champion and who refuses to tell us his name! Green!_ ' He couldn't take his eyes off the screen, mouth trembling as he breathed, trying not to make noise, completely taken in by the images displayed before him.

Two doors opened simultaneously, and he felt the air leave his lungs, eyes watering with unshed tears, his chest hurting because it was unfair, so unfair, it was horrible and he didn't know what to do with himself and he barely felt the hand that held his own as he watched, entranced, horrified.

From one door, Shiro emerged, scarred, hurt, wearing nothing but a black suit, shackles around his wrists and feet as they shoved him forward, his screams silenced by the loud cheering of the audience. And then the door on the other side opened, and a figure stepped out, shadowed by the pillars surrounding the arena, making it difficult to discern their face. But then they left the dark side of the battlefield and came into view, sun reflecting on their brown locks and-

It was like he was looking at Pidge.

He knew the instant his eyes landed on him it was Matt.

He was tall, wearing the same suit as Shiro, scars on the visible parts of his body, a raw, recent-looking one on his chin, making his cheek an angry red that must've hurt him like hell. He, too, was being pushed forward, shackled and bound, _captive_. But his eyes still held a flame, an intensity and will that couldn't be snuffed out, his mouth twisted into a snarl as he yelled profanities towards his captors, who retaliated with small shocks to his back.

 _'Finally, our chosen warriors are here! Now, brothers and sisters, place your bets! Anything goes! Who will loose more limbs? Who will get the most scars? Who will bleed more? The only limit is yourself! Bet to your hearts content!'_ The cheers and screams grew to the point of being deafening, and he wanted to cover his ears and stop listening, but he couldn't move, he was stuck, didn't dare take his eyes off the screen, fearful of what he would miss, of what could happen.

 _'Will today be finally the day when Champion beats his kin? Or will Green emerge victorious and declare himself the winner? Let the mortal battle begin! Vrepit Sa!_ ' An incredible chorus of _Vrepit Sa_ echoed all throughout the arena, and a countdown began on the right side of the screen, the Galrans counting out loud with it.

On the center of the battlefield, both Shiro and Matt looked mournfully at each other, holding swords and not moving an inch, seeming frozen admist the waves of noise around them. Shiro seemed to be shaking, pale and looking ready to keel over, his neck sporting a wound that bled still and his ankle twisted in an unnatural way.

Matt wasn't faring much better, but whereas Shiro looked ready to give up and let go, tired and worn and not able to continue, the other looked determined and resolved, his grip tight and firm, speaking volumes of what he was ready to do to survive.

The countdown reached zero.

Both of them launched themselves at the other with the force of a hurricane.

Blood and wounds and screams filled the arena among the laughs and cheers of a ruthless audience that asked for _more;_ savage, brutal, the violence of a deathly battle settling their spirits alight.

A cut on the arm, a slice to the eye, a bleeding tight and a mangled chest and-

He didn't realize he was hyperventilating until someone told him to breathe, arms enclosing his body with warmth and making him feel safe as he tried to keep his panic on the low.

"Stop the recording, Allura." Someone said, he couldn't really discernish who, or much of anything, really, and he realized it was because his hands covered his ears, and he was shaking slightly, disturbed by the images he'd just seen.

Images of people taking pleasure in watching two humans hurt each other, that rejoiced in the way they betrayed everything they ever knew just to survive, that found excitement and joy in someone else's pain and suffering.

 _God_ , he was going to be sick.

He leaned his forehead against whoever was holding him, hearing the soothing sound of their heartbeat while he tried to come to terms with the fact that Shiro could be- or Matt even-....God, now he understood Pidge's anger and her tears. This- she must have been devastated, he needed to get to her, _needed_ -

A body shifted under the arms that held him and sneaked it's way around them, sandwiching itself in between him and whoever was hugging him, a new set of arms wrapping around his waist as a head rested on his chest, soft hair tickling his neck.

He glanced down with watery eyes, and came face to face with brown locks in a messy bun, big, angry caramel eyes looking back at him, holding a fierce flame that burnt as bright as Matt's had been, ready to do what needed to be done to move forward.

"Pidge..." His voice was but a faint whisper, because he was scared he would end up weeping if he talked any louder. But Pidge heard him anyway, close as she was.

"I'm...I'm so- _so mad_ right now Lance. I can't believe-" She seethed, red faced and teary. " They made them fight each other just for- just for _fun_ , and I was so, so happy to see that Matt was alive and- and okay. But Shiro was there, too, and he was hurt, and they were hurting each other and I didn't know- couldnt choose who to-...I felt so _disgusted_ with myself for even doubting, for- for wanting one of them to win, but-" She took in a shaky breath, her nimble fingers gripping his jacket in a tight grip, strong enough to tear cloth.

"But Matt's my _brother_ , I've been searching for him for years and- and if I lost him I don't know what I- and Shiro, he's, he's like part of the family too, and I don't- I don't want any of them to get hurt-" Her voice broke and she choked, fat tears dripping down her cheeks.

" But I know that look on Matt's face, and I know- I know he'll do _anything_ to survive, anything to remain alive and go back _home_ \- because he promised and- and the words, the gibberish he was screaming at the Galran were- it was italian. He was- he was saying he would go back no matter what, that nothing would stand in his way." She wept, then, the sounds muffled in his shirt and her voice garbled between her hiccups and the tremors raking her body.

" _Lance_ -" The way she said his name tore him apart, desperate, distraught. "- he's going to kill Shiro- they, they'll kill both of them anyway if they don't give the Galra a show and- and Keith is going to _hate_ me-" She heaved for breath, shaking her head, hysteria seeping into her tone. "- he's going to _despise_ me because I'm selfish and- and Shiro's his brother too- and our little family will fall apart and- and I don't want that..." She stuttered and gulped down a sob, crying softly in between his arms, torn between what she wanted to protect, not knowing if her choice was right, or if she was allowed to have one at all.

Do what was right for the universe, follow her heart's wish.

Whatever the outcome, someone was bound to get hurt, and it would end in tragedy.

He looked up and over Ezor's shoulder -she was the one comforting him- and found the fiery, purple eyes of the red paladin focused on him, glaring with a ferocity that he was used to, but never expected to be directed at them in such a situation.

Lance didn't break the contact, though, trying to get his message across with his eyes alone. That none of them mattered right now, not their unsolved quarrel, neither Keith's strange distaste towards him nor Lance's avoidance of the other. Right now, Pidge was suffering, and she needed her _family_.

After a few ticks, it looked like Keith understood, and his eyes softened as he approached, walking around the mess of limbs and tears until he caught a glimpse of the anguished, distressed girl inside.

"Pidge -Keith said- it's okay, don't cry please." He felt her still, her breath hitching at hearing Keith's voice. He held her a little tighter.

" I'm not mad at _you_ , or Matt either. This is something that happened because of the Galra, because they put them in that situation, I don't blame your brother for wanting to survive and fighting Shiro, you can't blame anyone for trying to remain alive." Keith's voice had an edge to it, a rough tone that made it seem like he was holding his tears back and would break out crying at any moment, the dam bursting to pieces and setting everything free.

"I'm worried about Shiro, of course, but I know you are too, and I know how much it must've hurt you to watch that video. But even though I'm worried, I'm not scared, you know? The commenter said it was the fourth day in a row that they fought, which means they must have been hurting each other enough to satisfy the audience and then wait to be taken away and duel another day." He felt Pidge shift, and she looked up into Keith's understanding face, her sobs all but gone as she listened to the red paladin's words.

"They are doing their best to stay alive, _both_ of them, but whatever happens, I won't hold it against either of you, I could _never_ hate you. This is an extreme situation, and there isn't a right choice to make, but they're holding on, I'm sure they're waiting for rescue, waiting for us. So we need to do our best to get to them before they are forced to do something horrible." His words shouldn't have been as comforting as they were, but they brought Pidge out of the spiral of self-hate she had fallen into, and she straightened and stood tall, rubbing her eyes before she gave Lance a tight squeeze and left the cage of his arms.

"Keith is right -Allura said- we need to form a plan _right_ _now_ , this feed was from a few hours ago, if we're quick-" A beeping sound interrupted her, and a text of ' _upcoming transmission_ ' appeared on-screen, making all of them pause and stare apprehensively at it.

"Princess, should we...?" Coran inquired from his place on the control panel, his brows furrowed and mouth quirked into an unsure expression.

"Pull it through, Coran." The older man typed a few things and within seconds, a black, static image was before them, noises filtering through the comms and into the castle." This is princess Allura speaking, identify yourself if you wish this transmission to continue." He heard the clank of metal on the other side, followed by a few curses and sounds.

 _"This is Lieutenant Te-osh from the revel forces against the Galra empire, hailing the Castle of Lions on secure line 97X-021."_ Allura hummed in thought, asking Coran to verify if the line was compromised or something seemed amiss in their connection.

Everything looked green.

"Roger that, Lieutenant Te-osh. Secure like confirmed, were you the one that sent us that feed? What is it you need from us?" The screen lit up, showing the face of the person on the other side, an alien wearing a worn down blue uniform of some kind and a tired expression on their face, deep bags under their eyes and a frown on their brow.

There was a lot of ruckus behind them, people running from side to side while carrying tech and robots giving out readings and schedules and ETAs, their voices overlapping each other and giving a sense of chaos.

 _"Princess Allura, it was I, indeed, who sent you that feed. We hacked Gladia's servers earlier today and managed to leak that recording to all our forces and allies, hoping that the cruelty within it was enough to make them move, to join this war."_ Te-osh looked down, her expression forlorn and defeated, like things hadn't gone as planned, like they had failed.

 _"We came to this planet a few movements ago, intent on taking down their systems and destroy this place, the only site for respite and recreation that the Galra have in the whole universe. We learnt the cruel ways of their choice of entertainment, what they did to their prisoners as a passtime, even the children...."_ The alien covered their mouth, the horror and disgust that their voice carried enough to make his skin rise with goosebumps.

 _"We were quite outnumbered, since our allied forces didnt think this battle could be won, but...we wouldn't have been able to leave even if we wanted to."_ Te-osh smiled then, small and proud, the look of a loving mother.

 _"Human Matt was quite adamant about it, said he would infiltrate even if he had to do it alone, and hack their mainframe for a self-destruction code or an override code, something that would give us a way in, a way to destroy them from the inside."_ From the left, he spotted as Pidge flew by, quick on her feet with the force of an army and all their determination as well, standing side to side with Allura -who didn't seem to mind- as she glanced up at the screen.

"You know my brother?!" Te-osh looked down at Pidge, gasping softly before she smiled once more.

 _"Indeed I do, you must be Katie, then, he never stopped talking about you. Although I didn't imagine that you would be up here, he always said that you were safe back home, which was a relief to him."_ He saw the way Pidge's back tensed and how her shoulders hunched up, hands wringing the sleeves of her shirt.

"How did- _when_ did you find him? Was he, with someone or-?" Te-osh frowned, thoughtful.

 _"We found Matt a few years ago in one Galra cruiser, they were using his talents to perfect their systems as he, unknowingly, hacked them at the same time. When we arrived for a rescue, he was already halfway into an escape pod -_ Pidge laughed _\- but we offered our help anyway, and he decided to come with us to out center of command."_

"That sounds like him, impatient and sneaky." Pidge giggled even though he spotted a few tears falling down her cheeks, and Te-osh laughed with her, her posture seeming to relax.

 _"Yes, he spent some time with us, and when we offered him a position within our ranks, he accepted, with the condition that we would help him find his father if it was within our possibilities. He joined the Rafaga revel force and has been our best soldier since, his skills know no rival and no limits, he's our source of intel, a spy and a warrior and a caretaker all into one. We- I'm really proud of him."_ He caught Pidge's beaming smile, bright and honest and filled with love, her cheeks rosy as she sniffed and wiped her eyes, her determination never faltering.

 _"We even told him that we could send him home while we looked for his family, but....it was after a mission in which children had gotten hurt, some even died, and he....he told me that he would rather stay and protect any more children from suffering that fate, than wait home knowing a horrible war was going on outside his planet. He said he wouldn't be able to look Katie in the face if he turned his back away like a coward."_ Lance felt himself smile, happy to know that Pidge's brother was someone who held his principles and values close to his heart, someone who wasn't scared to do what was right even when it was dangerous, even when the easy path had been laid down before him.

 _"He is a valuable member of our forces, but...."_ Te-osh sighed, expression downcast. _"...when we asked other units to help us rescue him, they replied with a negative, saying that one life wasn't worth risking a whole squadron, even when we told them that destroying this Galran dwelling would have a huge impact on the Empire."_

_"We've been putting together a rescue plan for him. And then champion, too, when we learnt he was there. We leaked that footage in hopes that our allied forces and rebel fleets would come aid us when they saw it, when they saw the horrors of this place."_

_"But we cannot wait any longer, it's been five quintants since he was taken, and I doubt he's going to be able to hold on anymore, which brings us to the reason I contacted you in the first place. Princess Allura, I know this is a selfish request to make to Voltron, Defender of the universe, but....please, I beg of you...help us save Matt, help us destroy this vainglorious place and it's degenerate, cruel, degrading practices. I beg of you."_ Te-osh looked ready to bow down and all, her face set in grim resolve, her voice holding no lie nor deceit, nothing but a growing hope and a desire to set those prisoners safe from Galran enslavement, to see Matt again.

He knew Allura could see it as well, the sincerity of her plea, and that's why what she said after didn't surprise him at all. She fought for equality, freedom and peace, after all, she wouldn't stand for this cruelty.

"There is no need for that, Te-osh, Voltron will lend you it's help, we will do anything in our power to ensure the safety of the innocent and the destruction of this place, you have my word. We will _not_ fail you." The rebel commander looked relieved when the answer was affirmative, and she thanked Allura profusely while Pidge yelled her agreement to the mission, sending one last look to Te-osh before she walked over to Keith, taking both his hands into hers before he could run away from her.

"Keith...thanks for what you said earlier, and I'm- sorry that I only thought of myself when I saw that video, you were suffering too, and I didn't mean to ignore that." Lance looked at them through the corner of his eye, Ezor's arms no longer around him now that he was calmer, somehow.

Keith looked uncomfortable- not with Pidge, but with the situation in general. He didn't seem to hate her touch or the closeness, but it was more like- like he didn't know how to act or what to say, he looked torn between walking away and hugging the green paladin. He could see it in the way his fingers twitched.

"I know you miss Shiro, just like I missed Matt, but we're going to get our brothers back, no matter what, I promise." And then Pidge hugged him, and, surprisingly -or not- the red paladin hugged her back, sneaking his arms around her middle and leaning down a little, looking comfy and relaxed as he exhaled, his shoulders slumping like a weight had been lifted.

"Thanks, Pidge." It was but a whisper, something said in the privacy of their moment, and he felt bad for eavesdropping, but it wasn't like he could help it, his hearing had become sharper after his new power awakened, and the sounds arrived to him whether he wanted them to or not.

Looking around to account for the rest of his teammates, he saw that Hunk was silently cooing and awww-ing from his left side, smiling softly as he gazed at the hugging duo with pride in his eyes. But he also didn't look surprised, making him think that this had happened before and wasn't an unusual occurrence.

He'd missed so much, he wondered when he was going to catch up, or if he would ever be able to.

"What did I say about thinking too much, brother?" He turned his head to the right, where Lotor was looking at him with soft exasperation and a smidge of worry, Narti and the others at his back like the soldiers they were, keeping him safe, but watching Lance nonetheless.

"Ahh...sorry, I can't help it sometimes, you know?" He tilted his head and tried to smile at the prince, but it felt forced and tight, so he just stopped, shrugging and crossing his arms instead.

"I know that. If you're wondering about _that_ -he pointed to the hugging duo- it's, well, it's something that came naturally, most of us were really worried or downright terrified for you when you disappeared, but instead of talking it out we isolated ourselves and that....didn't end too well." Lotor shook his head and stepped towards Lance, holding his hand softly with kind eyes and a tender smile.

"We were near our breaking point, and the situation nearly got out of hand, tensions were high and tempers flared, everyone was too stressed and high strung. In the end, it was the princess who gave us an untimatum, either we talked about our problems and supported each other like a team, or she took out the mind-melding devices and let them do their job." He laughed, amused but not surprised by Allura's stern care, it was one of the things he loved about her, _though love_.

She was hard on them when needed be, even if it hurt her to do so, because she knew it was for their own good.

"Needless to say, we chose to talk, and even though it was quite difficult at first, eventually we learnt to open up, and getting the anxiety out of our chests helped us greatly. We spent most of the time listening to Hunk's retelling of your Garrison adventures, hearing about your past actually made us feel better, and it was fun and enjoyable, brough us comfort while you weren't there." The prince ran the pad of his thumb over Lance's knuckles, humming softly to himself as a fond expression overtook his face, nothing but joy and a soothing calm in his tone.

"For Keith....well, it was different, he never opened up, not really. But we included him in everything we did, the storytelling, the movie nights, the board games....we knew it was impossible to get someone as closed off as him to let themselves be vulnerable that easily, but we wanted to ease his burden somehow, _bond_ with him." Lance sighed in understanding, knowing better than anyone the walls and barriers the red paladin kept up to protect himself from getting hurt.

It just made his choice to leave them all behind that much worse.

"But, even though he didn't open up, he _did_ get better; he listened and answered honesty, took part in conversations, he accepted comforting touches and didn't shy away from physical contact like before, he told us when the emotions were too much and he needed a break or when he didn't feel fit to battle." The thought made him smile in relief, because one of his worries had always been that Keith would hold back too much, end up wound too tight, and come to the point where he would break beyond repair.

Shiro's loss and and his new leadership, his feelings of betrayal after Lance allowed Lotor on the ship and the fights they had.....he was sure none of that helped. He was so, so happy that his team were such caring friends, they had taken care of each other in his absence, kept the team together, and that was more than he could've asked for.

"It wasn't ideal, but it was an improvement, we thought it would help him until you came back and everything returned to the way it should be. And it _did_ , to some extent. I just wish....he wouldn't keep his troubles to himself, he's hurting, but we don't know _why_ , and my instincts scream at me to find out and comfort our kin, but I won't cross any boundaries that he doesn't want crossed, respect is important." Lance nodded, understanding dawning on him as he stepped away from his brother's comforting touch, feeling like he was burning inside out with the force of his shame.

"I think...I think I might have something to do with that. We had a- disagreement of sorts way before I went away and...it wasn't resolved at all, but- I'm working on it, it's not any of you guys' fault, so don't worry, okay?" Lotor looked skeptical and thoughtful, but he agreed not to meddle, eventually, trusting Lance's word that he would do something about it.

And he would, as soon as he found the right moment...as soon as he stopped avoiding the red paladin, which was easier said than done.

"Paladins, pay attention for a tick, please." Allura's voice shook him out of his reverie, and he walked away and joined Hunk at the foot of the control panel, his friend giving him a questioning look that he answered with a shrug, their usual silent communication that meant _'You okay?'_ and _'More or less'._

"Team -he looked up at the princess- I've talked with Te-osh and her men, and we've gone over the plan they already had thought of to rescue Matt. It's going to be dangerous, but I'm sure if we work together we will emerge victorious. This is an opportunity we cannot waste, this place, in which they revel and torture their prisoners needs to disappear, it will be a hard blow to the empire -but moreover, we have to get our friend back."

"Voltron has been incomplete far too many times, we cannot afford- no, we _will not_ allow anyone else to be taken from us, ever again." The faces around him held nothing but firm determination, nods of approval, and eyebrows furrowed in a way that left no room for doubt of fear, only the intense desire to protect what was theirs and the place they had learnt to call _home_.

"For this mission, we will separate in teams. Te-osh, if you will." The alien typed something on their computer, and a tick later a map of the planet showed up, highlighting three zones with an ominous red light that couldn't mean anything good.

 _"As you can see-_ Te-osh said _\- there are three main areas that we need to be concerned about. We faltered in carrying out our plan precisely because we lacked the necessary force and manpower to cover those locations, and we were thinking up alternatives when we found your signal."_ Her voice sounded relieved and happy at that, they had probably been waiting for _someone_ to come to their aid, fretting over the possiblity of no one showing up and having to run a suicide mission in hopes of saving their own.

 _"On our original plan, we would divide in three groups and scatter to the hot spots, each team with their own separate mission that, as a whole, would fulfill the main objective; rescue our lost member and any other innocents trapped there while destroying the planet, if possible."_ Her tone let it be known that the last bit was imperative, rather than an option, but she wasn't going to force anyone to do so, and would let the team decide if they wanted to fulfill that part, or leave it to _Rafaga._

"The first group -Allura continued- formed by Pidge, Hunk, Te-osh and their forces, will travel to the second area, the one close to the Coliseum. They will do so on their lions and on broad daylight, being simultaneously a distraction and a rescue team for Matt and Shiro, their main focus being leading the Galra away and fighting them so the other two teams can do their part." The princess pointed to the map as she explained their moves and tactics, being througrough and concise.

"Which brings us to Lotor and the girls - _dynamite squad,_ he whispered- who will join the battle on the third area -the jail, the one on the outskirts of the complex, where they'll create a divertion so the enemy scatters it's forces and tech, leaving the facilities with low security and making it so the evacuation process becomes easier." Lotor nodded in agreement, adding his two cents and asking a few questions before letting the princess continue.

"They will take Blue and as many pods as they can, and I will join them with Black so we can rescue as many prisoners as possible while fighting the enemies that come our way so the last team's mission isn't as dangerous." Allura looked away from where she was pointing at the map, locking gazes with Lance in a way that gave him goosebumps, his brain already doing the math and knowing before she spoke that-

"Lance, you'll go with Keith." He stopped breathing for a tick." Your part of the plan is the most important one yet, you both need to infiltrate the Galran center of command on the complex, the first area highlighted _here_ , and hack their systems to shut down the mainframe and all security throughout the buildings." He tried paying attention, and he was, _really,_ but the thundering of his heart and the dread rising like the tide made it a little more difficult than usual.

"That will let Pidge's and Lotor's teams rescue the prisoners and our friends, and it is imperative that you _do not_ fail. Without infiltrating their systems, I fear we might not have a chance at succeeding, it's really important that you cancel all their processes and power off any kind of security measures they may have online." She pinned Lance with a look that left no room for rebuttal, regal and commanding, the very poise of a leader.

"Um.... just- just a tiny question, why me and -Keith? If it's about hacking the systems, Lotor can also-" Allura shook her head, smiling softly to herself, like she knew he was going to ask her that question.

"That won't be possible. We learnt on one of our past missions that the Galra have Lotor's signature and readings in their systems, and when they discovered he'd betrayed them and joined our cause, made it so the alarms would be set off if he was detected, same with his sisters." Lance closed his mouth, knowing there was no way out of the situation.

"Keith is the only one that's able to infiltrate as of now, because they haven't managed to get a sample of him. And the fact that he's half-Galra plays in our favor, since it makes it even more difficult to find the pattern of his readings because they don't have human dna on their systems." It was logical and sound, her reasoning, and he had no argument to throw back besides a weak ' _I don't feel ready to be alone with him yet',_ which sounded ridiculous and he would never say.

The mission was far more important than any uncomfortable feelings he might of had, anyway.

"Ah....that makes sense..." He muttered, crossing his arms and trying not to panic.

"You both will join Coran, and with the castle's cloaking system, will approach the landing point and use two of our pods to sneak in while we attract their attention on the other areas. _Do not_ engage unless necessary, am I understood?" Allura was very clearly stating this for both Keith and himself, her eyes stern and tone serious and final.

" You get in, obliterate their security, and go out, you can board Red and join our battle afterwards if you wish." She looked at Lance, gaze softening, hands clasped together as if in prayer. "But I want you to be extra careful, both of you, and specially _you_ , Lance." He jumped as if shocked, her worry washing over him like a tidal wave. " You've just recovered, and I don't want you to overextert yourself, complete your mission, but take it easy, do I make myself clear?"

He chuckled nervously, touched by her concern. " _Crystal_ , princess, I won't do anything stupid, I promise."

"Well then, does everyone understand the role they play and what they have to do?" All around, nods of affirmation and murmured ' _yes_ ' could be heard, backs straightening and chins rising, chests puffed as the pride of Voltron set their flames alight with new determination.

"Okay then, Team, let's get our leader -and his friend- back. We deploy in ten doboshes, get ready."

"Roger that, princess." Everyone rushed to get ready, and he got to high five both Hunk and Pidge before they left, their friends promising to be safe and watch each other's backs and making Lance promise he would do the same.

Hunk seemed to rethink his choice about leaving, though, and took some steps back to face Lance, face tight in a way that he knew meant his friend was worried.

"I know you're kinda....not talking with Keith, for some reason, and I won't meddle in your affairs but....I hate watching you suffer, and...I think Keith had a hard time too, he was really edgy and gloomy when you were gone." Hunk twiddled his fingers and looked back at Pidge, who waited for him to finish what he had to say by the main doors.

"What I'm trying to say is...that you cut him some slack. I'm sure that whatever bad blood you two had is gone now and he's just...he probably doesn't know how to apologize, but I'm sure he wants to. He keeps looking at you when your back is turned, and he always looks...remorseful and sad, and you know I _hate_ it when my friends are sad, so..." Hunk looked at him with the biggest puppy eyes, something he knew Lance was weak to, an attack that was effective ten out of ten times.

"So, promise me, at least, that you'll talk with him? This is your best chance." He sighed and gave his friend an unimpressed look, knowing that excuses wouldn't work now, and that if he gave his word to Hunk, he would have to keep it. One does not simply betray Hunk Garret's trust and get away with it, because the look of utter disappointment he would give you afterwards would make you feel guilty for the rest of your life and want to bring him flowers and puppies and warm blankets.

So _yeah_ , he promised to talk it out with the red paladin, since he had planned to do it already. It was just his luck that the time came faster than he'd imagined.

Hunk waved him goodbye and left with Pidge in tow, who absent-mindedly said goodbye to Lance while she made last second adjustments to their tech and synchronized their devices to Te-osh's, already talking with the alien about weak points and the terrain and disposition of the buildings so she could use them to her advantage.

She had become a real good strategist, planning and acting as a link between the two groups, handling communications and the management of the safe channels atop everything else. She seemed extremely determined to succeed, and knowing what was at stake, he didn't doubt that she would go right for the metaphorical throat of the planet with the fierceness of a burning sun if it meant getting her brother back.

And he would make sure he came back, it was about damn time that Pidge's family became whole again, she deserved to be happy.

"Brother." Someone patted him lightly on the shoulder, and he turned to watch as Lotor, alongside the girls, were gearing up and getting ready to leave, their new armor making Lance smile and punch the prince playfully on the shoulder.

"You going already? What, you so intent on taking out _my_ Blue?" He wiggled his eyebrows and giggled when Lotor rolled his eyes, Ezor laughing out loud and coming forth to high five him, saying that is was a ' _good one_ ' while Narti clapped and the other two just shook their heads with fond frustration.

" _Lance_ -Lotor said, admonishing- you know very well that I never intended to replace you, and I never will, but the lions are needed for this mission and if they think all the paladins are in-fight they won't be as careful, and you will be able to sneak in with ease-" He cut the prince off with a hand to the mouth, brows high with amusement as he ran over what the other said, analyzing his words and coming to the conclusion that Lotor felt guilty for piloting his lion.

Which was unacceptable, really.

"Lotor, don't be silly, I was just joking. I don't mind that you pilot Blue sometimes, I think it's actually better if we have some extra paladins in the event that something bad happens and we need -he didn't want to say replacements- _stand-ins_ for a while." Lotor's eyes narrowed, and he took Lance's hands from his face and held it tight, the worry in his face melting to leave nothing but resolve.

"Since you're bonded with Blue you may also know, she loves all her paladins equally, from past, present, future...she woudn't let you pilot her if you were not worthy or if she didn't want to. Of course she still loves _me_ best -the prince moaned- but she understands that she can't always get what she wants in this war, and will cherish both of us with the same intense love and devotion she only kept for me." Blue roared in the distance, an agreement and a ' _hurry up_ ' all in one, making him laugh at her impatience.

He knew the prince had gotten the memo when his eyes, too, lit up with mirth and affection, his shoulders squaring up and head held high.

"That's right, I cannot afford to doubt now, I, too, am a paladin of Voltron, reserve or not, and I will do my damned best -who taught you to curse?!!- to fulfill this mission to the best of my ability and bring your leader back. I promise I won't fail you, brother, Blue paladin's word." Lance smirked and held his hand for a fist bump, -forgetting for a moment that the Galran wasn't knowledgeable to such nuances- getting pleasantly surprised when the prince returned the gesture with a smirk of his own, finishing with a flourish and laughing, boisterous and loud, at Lance's dumbstruck face as they walked away with whispered goodbyes.

The princess left too after cutting communications with Te-osh, glancing at him from the corner of her eye before giving him a nod and mouthing a soft ' _Be careful_ ', a reminder to keep himself out of trouble and come back home, to keep his promise and not fight more than necessary and return safe and sound.

It was obvious she was still worried about him, since it had been just four days since his return, but he felt completely okay, and although the coddling was nice, he hoped it didn't last long, he loved his independence, too.

Someone cleared their throat and he jumped, shrieking in surprise and clutching his chest, feeling a heart attack coming as he whirled around, watching Keith, still reclined against the wall, look at him with a pinched look that he couldn't decipher.

"We should go, too." Was all he said to Lance before nodding in Coran's direction - who gave them both a thumbs up- and turning towards the exit doors, walking away without a word.

He entertained the idea of staying there with Coran instead of following the red paladin, but the Altean ushered him out quickly before he could even protest, and he had no choice but to run towards the hangar where the pods were, where Keith would be.

With every stept he took forward, the echoes of the laughs of five days ago seemed to grow louder and louder, and he could hear an ominous giggle by his ear, as if whispered by a malevolent entity, the sound accompanying him all throughout the short journey to the hangars.

When the doors opened and Keith turned to look at him, soft and pained before he averted his gaze, the noise abruptly stopped, static filling his ears, and he thought he heard a murmur of a warning that filled his chest with unfounded dread and foreboding.

_'You shouldn't have.'_

The constant thrumming ceased, his mind becoming blank and serene, empty of all unwanted emotion and interference from a force he couldn't understand, a power he'd thought he was the master of, but wasn't so sure anymore. The laughs were gone, the constant whispers vanished, and the continuous rumbling inside his mind had quieted down to a soothing lull.

Nothing seemed amiss.

He couldn't help but think it was the calm before the storm.

\--

After taking a seat in their respective pods, both of them had waited for Coran to activate the cloaking device before taking flight, the red paladin being the lead pilot since he was the more trained of the two in that department, no matter how much Lance had denied that in the past.

They were told to be on stand-by until the proper diversions were settled in place and the security of the center of command was low enough for them to sneak in. They had to resort to sit still, pods side-by-side, listening to the comms as their friends battled and talked with each other, their own side of the comms being deathly silent since he didn't know what to say to Keith.

That, and he didn't want anyone eavesdropping when he talked to him, either.

Five minutes passed in complete stillness, and he was about to burst, his willpower downed to nothing as the silence made his anxiety worse and he started to fidget, mouth opening to say something but always regretting it at the last second, cowardice wining out.

Thankfully, he was saved from doing something stupid by Pidge's voice, who was hollering and raging like a valkiria, screaming profanities to the Galran cruisers she was taking down with a kind of glee that was slightly....terrifying.

" _Okay guys, everything is green on our side! How are you doing, Lotor?_ " It was strange, to see and listen to Pidge talk to the prince with such familiarity when, to him, only a few days had passed, and the only things the Galran ever received before he went away were glares and distrustful sideglances.

But it was obvious everyone was comfortable with him _now_ , and it actually made him really happy that they were getting along, Lotor needed all the support he could get, he deserved it.

"We are doing fine, Pidge, we are currently engaged in combat with the guard as we speak. You can set the plan in motion as soon as you see fit." Pidge nodded, looking away for a tick to blast something, a smirk growing on her face as she whooped.

 _"Roger that,_ _ **Azure**_ _. Keith, Lance, you catch all that?_ " He gave her a thumbs up, and guessed the red paladin did his own confirming gesture, since Pidge hummed and brought up a map of the building they had to infiltrate.

" _You'll have to land on the outskirts of this place to avoid detection, there's a cliff up ahead and a desert like landscape that you can use to hide the pods. After that, you just need to follow the instructions you were given and complete your mission, you have any questions?_ " Lance rose his hand up like they were still in middle school, watching his friend roll her eyes and point at him with a small quirk in her mouth, amusement seeping in her tone.

_"Yes, Lance?"_

"What's with the codenames? Do you all have one? Do _I_ get one? Is it an awesome name?" Pidge snorted in disbelief, her face red from trying to keep her cackles to herself, something like longing and a sense of fulfillment and reassurance swirling in her every breath.

" _We-_ she giggled _\- we made them up when the Galra put up wanted posters of us with our real names in them. I don't know how many Keith's are in the universe, honestly, but after the fourth time someone tried to kidnap him...well, we had to look for an alternative."_ He gaped in disbelief, wondering if he, too, had a wanted poster, and if it was possible to get his hands on them or, alternatively, a copy of the prints.

"Please, oh _please_ , tell me they are ridiculously drawn by, like, a five year old or something. I beg of you Pidge, please tell me they are hilarious." By the way she broke and nearly cried real tears at the thought, he understood that; _yes_ , they were hideous, _yes_ , they were funny, and _yes_ , she had copies of every single one and by god he was going to see them as soon as they returned home.

" _Oh man, you'll see. When you see Allura's and Keith's....you're going to crack up, I guarantee it. Also, our fake names are totally dumb, too, they are color coded because_ _ **some genius**_ _thought it was a good idea. If you can guess Keith's....I'll owe you ten bucks._ " He could already feel the tears of mirth come to his eyes with his imagination alone -both for the pictures and the names- and gave Pidge a thumbs up since he couldn't talk at all, too busy trying not to laugh at his own mental images.

"Roger that, Pidge, we're leaving for the complex, chat you later." They both sobered up and said their goodbyes, and he turned to tell the red paladin to take off -almost forgetting he was on the comms with him- to find him smiling softly forward, small dimples on either side of his mouth that gave Lance a mini heart attack because _what the hell-_

He blinked and it was gone, replaced instead by a focused frown and a determined glint in his eyes, his hands turning the engine on and flying away from the castle with a heartfelt farewell from Coran, who instructed them the path to follow and wich areas to avoid, parking the castle of lions a safe distance away for when they had a need to return to their lions.

It barely took them minutes to arrive with Keith's flying skills and Lance trailing after, and within the next few, they were parking the pods behind a sand dune, silently and undetected. Keith took out his Bayard after exiting the vehicle, motioning for Lance to follow him as he lead the way- which Lance didn't mind at all at the moment, since he was busy trying to find ways to fill in the silence that weren't awkward.

While he did that, though, he took out his own weapon -since Lotor needed his bayard, he'd gotten an Altean blaster- and toyed with it for a bit, trying to get used to it's weight in his hands, how well it molded against his body, how sensitive the trigger was, and grow accustomed to any and all features that he might find useful later.

He was in the process of debating whether or not to press a button with the Altean word for _fire_ on it when Keith's voice told him to stop. He looked up just in time to duck to the right alongside the red paladin as the front doors of central command opened up, two burly galran soldiers striding out as they talked.

"Have you made your bet yet, Ath?" One of them asked.

"Nay, I have my doubts about who is going to win today. Maybe Champion will finally die, he hasn't been doing as well as on the first battles." His companion answered, nonchalant, as if they were speaking about sports Tv and not human lives.

"Yes, it seems he's getting tired faster now, It's been months, so it's not strange." He risked a glance at Keith, noticing the tension on his shoulders and how he'd bitten through his lip, drawing blood. He shook with contained rage, fist clenched around his sword as he restrained from launching himself at the soldiers, his anger palpable at the way they were talking about his brother.

"I think I'm going to bet on the other creature, he seems sneaky enough to backstab Champion and win this as soon as the chance presents itself." Keith's eyes narrowed even more, but he still didn't move. It looked like he'd learnt to control his impulses and temper on the months Lance had been away. It was....admirable.

"Well, you're not wrong, but I will still be betting on champion, Lady Haggar's upgrades are always top notch, I'm sure they will keep him alive." The red paladin growled lowly, and Lance was afraid they were going to be discovered- but Keith seemed to swallow the sound and became still as a painting, not even blinking.

"Maybe so, who knows. I just know I don't want to miss the battle so-" An alarm, loud and deafening, echoed throughout the area, making him wince at the volume of the noise while he tried to listen to what was said.

 _"Emergency, emergency, code red. Intruders detected on sector 3 of the A Complex, hostilities have been countered with sentries and self piloted cruisers, but it's advised for all personnel to join the battle and help snuffle the skirmish as soon as possible. Repeat, intruders detected-_ " Both galrans turned around and looked up, surprised faces morphing into grave expressions as they held their guns in a tight grip, bodies taut with tension and voices carrying both excitement and bloodthirst.

"Crap, let's go Ath-" The one called Ath held the taller Galran by the arm, brows furrowed in what he assumed was worry, making his stomach churn.

"Wait, you can't go alone, it could be the paladins of Voltron- " The taller one huffed and puffed up his chest, reminding Lance of a cat rising it's shackles, pride filling his being as he spoke with confidence.

"That's _even better_ , Ath. If we kill them and the Emperor hears of this, we might get promoted to the Lord's army and finally be useful to the Empire-" Ath shook his head and waved his hand dismissively, eyes shining with a desire and want that was as terrifying as the ease in which they said they would end someone's life.

"Yeah, you're right, let's just- were is your ship at-?" Ath asked.

"Dock 3E, c'mon I've gotta go- I'll see you when I come back. _Vrepit sa._ " Ath did the usual pose for the Galran salute, emitting pride and joy from his every pore, the kind that was overwhelming and all-encompassing, the kind that was ingrained into his being and wasn't able to be swayed by external forces, the kind he would defend to the death if the occasion arose.

It was horrifying to feel, and worse yet to know that there was nothing in the universe that would change their minds.

" _Vrepit sa_ , Eoth." Both of them exchanged the salutes and the one called Eoth ran away inside central command while Ath stayed behind, coordinating the deployment of their forces and guiding the sentinels and soldiers through the area and towards the right place.

He looked at Keith from the corner of his eye, his face pale in the dim light of the corner they were hiding in, his eyes narrowed in obvious distaste and teeth still biting his lower lip hard enough to draw blood.

The red paladin held up a hand, telling him to wait, and when the last of the ships exited the base and Ath stopped talking over his comms, Keith took his marmoran blade out in a swift movement and sneaked upon the Galran with the grace of a snake; silent, swift, fast and deathly.

He struck the soldier in the back, giving him no time to respond, then took out his comms to make sure he wouldn't ask for help and knocked him out with the blunt edge of his sword, the Galran falling to the ground in a heap, unmoving.

He then proceeded to hide him behind some bushes and stood, face blank as if nothing had just happened, as if he hadn't just struck a living, breathing being like it was an everyday occurrence.

God he hoped it was not.

Keith turned away, their eyes met, and he was surprised by the shame and apprehension he could see there, the look so raw and vulnerable it made him rethink what he just thought, the downcast expression that followed those emotions hard to look at.

He was a tick away from saying something to Keith, wanting to comfort him or just- do _something_ , but the next second the red paladin had withdrawn into himself again, his walls were up and they were at odds once more.

"Let's move on." Was the only thing Keith said, and Lance could do nothing but follow him inside, sending one last glance at the downed Galran as a feeling of unease settled deep within his gut.

He followed the Red paladin with his blaster at the ready, always on the lookout for enemies, but they traversed the hallways with relative ease, only having to hide once or twice from a stray droid or sentry, no soldiers in sight.

From what he heard on the comms, every single soldier available had joined the battle, and both teams were now fighting the hordes that kept coming one after another, making time so he and Keith could fulfill their part and set the plan in motion.

" _Woohoooo! Take_ _ **that**_ _you douche! That's for kidnapping_ _ **my**_ _brother! And_ _ **that**_ _is for making Shiro fight as the Champion again!_ " Pidge was yelling over the comms, letting all her anger and frustration out as she took out ship after ship, her cries loud and boisterous like he'd never heard before.

" _Pidge_ -Lotor's voice said- _what have I said about cursing?_ " Four laughs followed his statement, all of them with varying degrees of amusement and joy, but holding a sense of caution that made him know he girls were focused and on stand-by, ready to protect the prince should the occasion ask for it.

" _Oh c'mon! You can't fault me for it this time! They asked for it!_ " A sigh and a small huff echoed, a few ticks of silence stretching uncomfortably as the sounds of battle reverberated through the transmission.

"Okay _, but don't get used to it, it's unbecoming of a paladin to curse like this-" Pidge snorted._

"Oh man _, you say that because you haven't heard Lance curse yet_ -" He screeched as soft as he could, glancing around to see that there was nobody around, ignoring Keith's startled look for the moment.

" _Hey, hey, hey_ \- he whispered- don't drag me into this, I don't do that anymore, I have nieces and nephews to look after, I'm the cool uncle that says no bad words." Pidge cackled, and it grew louder at Lotor's noise of confusion. He was sure she was going to slander him and-

 _"Aww that's really cute Lance, but I remember those times at the Garrison when you cursed like a sailor. Some of the words you said I won't even repeat, and that's saying something. It was hilarious when you got mad at a teacher or that guy you hated and you held it back until we were alone- do you remember, Hunk_?" His best friend cleared his throat in an attempt to hold back his giggles. It didn't work.

 _"Oh man, do I remember. He would come back, all fuming and red in the face, and he would sit down between us and begin cursing and muttering obscenities and profanities until he tired himself out. It was funny watching him morph over time; from a stressed, badmouthed, small peanut, to the calm guy to which everything washed right over._ " He felt himself blush, and muttered a heartfelt 'traitors' to both of them before silencing his comms, not ready to hear the aftermath of that little tale.

Besides, he had more important things to worry about.

He got up from his crouched position at Keith's signal, thinking for a second he'd seen a tiny smile on the red paladin's face, but maybe that was just wishful thinking on his part. They rounded the corner avoiding the cameras, hugging the walls and being quite succesful at that sneaking thing they were trying.

It looked like Keith had had practice in the time he'd been gone, and could now keep cool in tense situations, as he'd seen earlier before.

It was a reassuring thought.

They crossed another set of corridors and closed doors, following the map Pidge had given them, and he couldn't help but think that the base was too quiet for his liking, that this was _too easy._ Maybe he was just being paranoid, since the emptiness meant that every soldier had vacated the premises and all machinery was either turned off by Pidge's virus, or deployed to the other side of the planet where the fight was taking place.

But he couldn't help the feeling that something was really, _really_ wrong, and he didn't understand where that sensation came from, either, so it left him upset and twitchy.

The foreboding didn't fade even when they found the control room, or when they sneaked in to find a pleasantly empty room, everything working as it should but with no enemies in sight. It was beggining to get annoying, like a small rumble inside his chest that would't let up, really far away and barely noticeable, but constant and ceaseless, like a buzzing in his ear that wouldn't let him focus.

"Lance- he startled at the call of his name, looking up into Keith's violet eyes as his teammate spoke- I'm going to hack the mainframe now, I'll need to have my hand here while the machine runs the scans and gives me access, so I won't be able to move for a bit." Keith bit his lip, averting his gaze for the umpteenth time since Lance returned home, looking quite uncomfortable.

"Watch my back?" It was posed as a question, and Lance couldn't understand why Keith would ever think he needed to ask, or why he even entertained the idea that Lance wouldn't protect him if it wasn't asked of him. They were _teammates_ , companions, and, if Lance finally stopped being a coward and apologized, they may even become _friends_.

It made no sense to him why Keith thought Lance would left him unprotected for whatever petty, small rift they had going between them.

He would never do that to _anyone_.

Least of all someone from his family.

"Of course." _Always_ , is what he wanted to say. But he just nodded, sending a smile Keith's way and hoping it conveyed the honesty in his words and the fierceness in which he was ready to protect what was _his_.

It seemed to work, somehow. The red paladin tilted his head in acknowledgement, turning his back to begin the process of shutting down every kind of security measures on the planet, and Lance could swear his back was less tense and his shoulders weren't as hunched as before.

He held his blaster as he watched Keith work, looking out for any kind of danger, everything eerie silent and making him hear noises that weren't really there, anxiousness swelling in his chest. He found his eyes being drawn to the red paladin's silhouette, and couldn't help but take in his appearance once more and the way he held himself now, with more confidence and strength, but also carelessness.

He'd noticed how more...rash he had become, attacking without hesitation, fast as lighting and just as lethal. _Of course_ he also saw how much he'd matured and grown as a leader and teammate, and all the ways he'd improved his techniques and tactics -and temper-, just like everyone else had seemed to.

But he held the indistinct fear that the Keith of right now would throw himself headfirst into danger without a second thought, and that the next time he did, he wouldn't come out unscathed.

He didn't even want to think about it.

He didn't want to wait for something like that to happen to finally be brave enough to do what he should have done a long time ago, he didn't want to spill his feelings and troubles and his apologies in a moment of stress and fear for his teammate's life.

He wanted to tell him on his own terms, when they were alone and unbothered.

Now was as good time as any.

He would apologize first, and then.... _then_....if he was strong enough, he would tell him about the other thing....about the redos and all he had to endure in the past few months.

He hoped Keith would understand.

He knew he would.

"Hey, Keith-" He began before he could change his mind.

From where he stood, the lines of the red paladin's back seemed broader, somehow, it made him want to rely on him, confide in him. He opened his mouth to continue, and then those same lines blurred slightly and he blinked, trying to bat the fuzziness away but only managing to become dizzy in the process.

The small rumble on the back of him mind came back with a vengeance, louder and louder still, accompanied by a sound like static and a thousand screams, the noise piercing and shrill, enough to be deafening and vanish everything around him.

Like the sound of a door opening behind him.

Or the whirring of a laser-gun as it charged its shot.

He saw it from the corner of his eye, a little too late, a little too far, a little too slow-

The shot fired before he could even move or warn Keith about it.

The splatter of blood showered the panels in red as Keith tilted to the right, his body falling in a heap to the ground, unmoving, crimson pooling under his head as the world seemed to still, everything greying and freezing as his heart stopped and his breath choked him.

The whispers slowly receded, leaving a last message for him to listen to.

_'You shouldn't have.'_

His hearing returned in time for him to listen to the echoes of his own screaming, raw and horrified as he watched the scene unfold before him, as he watched the red slowly coating the metal floors expand- _too much, too much-_

"That's for my _brother_." He was still screaming when he turned around, blaster in hand, and shoot the Galran known as Eoth point blank, a perfect shot, instant death.

None of that _mattered_.

His eyes burnt and his throat felt scorched as he kneeled on the ground, vomiting and crying, the tears making him unable to see, his heaving breaths mingling with his sobs and making it impossible to breath. His body was shaking, he couldn't hold himself up, couldn't hear anything but his own raging heartbeat and the choked screams that still tried to leave his lips.

_Not real, not real._

_This isn't happening._

_Not real, not re-_

He looked up.

Red- _red staining his knees, red staining his hands_ \- he crawled his way towards Keith, body paralyzed with fear, mind refusing to believe what his eyes were seeing, chanting his name over and over again as he finally registered Red's screams joining his own, pained and anguished and downright _devastated_.

She was crying.

He kneeled besides his teammate, his _friend_ , holding his head in between his hands, resting it in his lap- unseeing violet eyes stared back at him, glazed over and devoid of life, mouth open in a silent gasp as a hole on his temple leaked that crimson that he was beginning to hate so much, the life draining out of him, taken away from him-

He knew his comms were filled with panicked voices- he couldn't answer.

His hand moved on it's own, searching for that heartbeat that had comforted him in his last moments only a few months prior, looking for the warmth that had kept him calm and made him feel loved when he'd been fading away. But the chest within which that heart resided held nothing now, only cold and emptiness, his body still and frozen without the pulse of life thrumming through him.

His fire had died out.

Something inside himself broke, and the tears began anew, scorching hot as he clutched the red - _oh, so red_ \- paladin's body to his chest, thinking about his voice, about his eyes and the fiercness he'd held within them, about the warmth of his aura as it sizzled and burnt bright around him, about the words he'd said and the ones he would never get to hear and the _regret_ -

He screamed again.

He did so until his throat bled raw and his voice died, until his chest hurt and he couldn't breath and his cries became choked and wheezing was all he could do to keep on getting air. He couldn't stop remembering, why couldn't he stop-

_'Everyone I care for always leave, so I keep people away, never let anyone in, never getting attached-'_

_'But I unknowingly began trusting the team, trusting you, and then you betrayed me and lied, and I hate lies-'_

_'You told me I could rely on you, but then I couldn't-'_

_'I thought I couldn't trust anyone ever again, what was the point if everyone ended up letting me down?'_

_..._

_'Watch my back?'_

_'Of course.'_

_Always._

He'd failed him, it was _his fault_. Keith had told him to watch his back and he'd failed. He was dead. He was dead and it was all _his fault_ \- he'd trusted Lance, he'd let himself be vulnerable, having faith that he was safe with Lance there- Keith never turned his back on anything, he always got a weapon out-

Lance had _killed him._

And there was nothing he could do about it.

Nothing but cry away his regret, and pray that this was a nightmare he was going to wake up from.

He didn't have such luck.

When he came to, he noticed that his helmet had been tossed away towards the wall, the visor cracked and the comms emitting a broken sound of static that made him nauseous, made him remember whispers and confusion and fear, made him remember his mistake.

He was still clutching Keith for dear life, his armor stained red, the stench horrible and the sensation twice as bad, but he couldn't bring himself to let him go, he _refused_ to. He didn't know when, but it seemed he'd closed Keith's eyes, and now it looked like he was just sleeping, peacefully, calmly.

He should have never looked so pale.

His mind was a mess, he couldn't focus on a single though, it was like he was being tugged in many directions and strung too thin, he didn't know which path to follow, or what to do. Everything was muted and closed off, like he was hearing through a filter, and he realized it was because he'd put some walls up, unknowingly, isolating himself in his grief as he blamed his own incompetence for a horrifying fate he couldn't change.

He broke down all the walls.

The grief that took him over was like a bullet through the chest.

Red was crying. The lions were mourning. His friends were panicked and scared and lost and his brother and sisters were faring no better, terrified beyond belief.

Red was openly weeping, her aura cradling Keith's body like a mother would her child, grieving for the loss of her _precious little one_ who had been taken away from her, _too young, too soon_.

She screamed and called Lance's name, begging to him, pleading for him to save her child, pouring all her essence into the message she sent, nothing but a chant of _please_ and Keith's name and Lance's own in a heartbreaking loop.

He felt his eyes burn and a lump form in his throat, he was powerless to do anything, what did she hoped he could accomplish? Why wasn't she _mad_ at him? This was his fault, if it had been him it would have been okay, because he could come back-

_He could come back._

He inhaled with such force he choked, hope blooming on his chest, his mind already thinking of the probabilities and the chances of it working but-

None of that was important.

It was the only possible way to fix things.

His decision had been made before he knew it was a choice at all.

He looked down at the lifeless corpse of his friend, still cradled in between his arms, light and frail, devoid of the vibrant flame that had once burnt as bright as a thousand suns, that made him the _red paladin_. And he knew without a doubt that he was _going to do this_ , consequences be damned, chances be damned, failure was _not_ an option.

He would succeed if only by sheer force of will alone.

Carefully, as if not to disturb the fragile body in his arms, he clutched Keith tightly to his chest as he stood, trying to ignore the steady _drip drip_ of the blood cascading down them both, adding to the sickening pool by his feet.

He didn't pay attention to the downed Galran or what his death meant for him, and opted instead to walk the way back out the base, chatting casually about meaningless things with his _dead_ friend, trying in vain to hold back the tears everytime he looked down, yearning to hear his voice, to see his eyes open once more.

"- and you can't just go like that, you know? I still need to- to apologize for betraying your trust and being a bad friend-" He rounded the corner, seeing the exit doors a few feet away. "- and for taking so long to do it. And I still need to guess your codename, too. I'm sure it's gonna be something dumb like- he hiccuped- like Vermillon or- or Velvet-" He laughed, the sound wet and wretched, his eyes glancing to the side of the doors where the previous body Keith had hidden, Ath, lay crumpled halfway on the path, a communicator in his hand.

He didn't think a little mistake could cost them- _him_ , so much.

But it was too late for regret now.

He looked up front, sought for the location he remembered, and strided forward with fierce determination, trying to sport a courage he didn't feel, but he sure as hell was going to force himself to, if necessary. Hesitation had no place within his mind right now.

"-because you sure as hell would chose something so silly, instead of going with just Red or Crimson or even Garnet- oh my god Cherry would have been hilarious- I'm -I'm sure Pidge owes me those ten bucks already." He tried to laugh, but it felt hollow and shaky, his voice wrecked and choked.

He didn't think he was able to feel anything else but desperation right now, but the grief and sorrow and anger that accompanied his mourning told him otherwise, and they just kept on wounding him up tighter and tighter, until it felt like he was going to snap.

"-I just, can't let it end like this, you know? I made many mistakes in my life, I'll admit to- to that. I let some people down and made decisions that hurt others, I- know that. But everything I did has always been to keep you all safe and- and if I have these- _his breath hitched_ \- these stupid powers, then- then you can bet your fucking ass that by God I'm going to use them to protect you all, no matter what happens to me." He walked down the path that lead them to central command, the rocky terrain that led to where their pod was hidden behind dunes and sand, his steps sure and purposeful.

Black whined on the back of his mind, sorrowful and pleading as his sisters did the same, all crying out for him, their silent voices merging in a cacophony of white noise that screamed for him _'not to'_ , more of a feeling than words alone.

He felt trough their bonds as they sent him a myriad of emotions and words all jumbled together; _danger, worry, interference, evil, darkness, doubt, guilt, tears_ \- but the meaning of it all was lost to him.

Because Red's pitiful, heart wrenching cries overwhelmed it all.

She had never stopped crying for her paladin, screaming his name and chanting a string of heartbreaking _'save him, save him',_ her voice a thousand voices at once, her bond feeding him nothing but images of the red paladin, happy and healthy and smiling, memories she kept sending him without conscious thought, the moments with her beloved child that she kept on remembering.

She was desolate and anguished, inconsolable, and she kept on calling for Lance, believing in her despair that he could do _something_ , that he could save the person she cherished the most.

The probabilities were unknown, he didn't even know if it would work and wasn't even considering the consequences of such actions, he wasn't thinking at all- but- but....for Keith, for _him_ he would try, no matter how irrational and careless and dangerous it was.

For _him_ , he would do it.

He looked ahead, finally catching sight of the place he'd wanted to go to, the first one that came to mind when he'd decided he was going to do this. He was still blabbering his mind away, trying to keep his mind blank and his fear at bay, he didn't need any emotions hindering him now, none but anger and sorrow and the _need_ to make things right.

"It hurts, you know, everytime. And up till now it had always been an- either an accident or me getting in the way or-or, it has always been just _me_. Some marmorans died, some people got hurt but- but I never thought the day would come were I had to watch someone I cared for die before my eyes. That...that changes your perspective on things." He breathed in, whole body shaking as he approached, hugging his friend closer to him, as if he could share his warmth and vanish the ice that coated Keith's skin, as if he he could stop it from taking him away.

Even thought he knew it was far too late for that.

He crouched down in front of a tree, lowering his friend down with all the tenderness he still held within, reclining him against the soft blue grass and laying his head on the roots protruding from the soil.

He ran his right hand -trembling and covered in dried blood- through Keith's bangs, brushing them away from his forehead, and before he coud stop himself, he leaned down, and pressed his lips softly against his temple, the fleeting touch feeling like a promise, like a vow.

He inhaled his scent, still not overshadowed by the stench of blood, it reminded him of burning birch and bonfires, the smell of cinder and wood as it crackled. It reminded him of warmth and nimble fingers running through his hair, of a body pressed against his and holding him closer as he floated between the realm of unconsciousness, of a choked voice calling him an _idiot_ before he succumbed to sleep, cradled with care and affection, finally being back home.

His next breath got caught in his throat, knowing that it had been Keith who took care of him with such tenderness when he was confused and exhausted and half-asleep, just having come back from the other side.

Such knowledge only made him tear up faster, and made his resolve burn as bright as the fire Red shared with him, scorching his skin and his heart raw, leaving him vulnerable and exposed.

He leaned back and let his hand fall to the other's cheek, running the pad of his thumb against the soft skin there, wishing with all his might that it felt warm to the touch, rosy and freckled and puffed in anger, or maybe in annoyance or even laughter, anything but the deathly stillness and chill he could feel now.

He held his hand between his own and pressed, trying to remember what a squeeze back felt like, chanting all the prayers he knew and letting his fear fade away to be replaced by determination, letting Red's memories wash over him and drown his mind in _Keith_.

"I'm sorry- I- I'm so sorry. This is all _my fault_ , you should've never- I messed up I-" He brought the hand to his lips and kissed his knuckles, the action feeling right and calming his racing heart, his chest aching as he whispered his oaths onto his skin and swore to rekindle the flame that had once blazed inside his chest, beautiful and radiant and full of life.

"I will- I will make things right- I promise." He pressed his lips against the inside of Keith's wrist, the place where their bond had once been, tentative and incomplete, the motions igniting something deep within himself that he couldn't decipher.

And then he lowered down his hand with the utmost care before getting up, sending one last glance at the serene features of his teammate, his friend, his family. From where he stood, it looked like he was only sleeping, the breeze ruffling his hair as stray leaves rained down from the trees above, the very image of peacefulness.

But there was no light rise and fall of his chest, no small puffs of breath leaving his lips, no twitchy fingers or mumbles or shifts in posture, just an unmoving picture, barren of every single quirk and detail that made Keith who he was, an empty body without the fiery soul that warmed up the coldest days.

He had to look away or risk crying again.

Or hold him too tight, afraid to let go. Or try taking him along.

That was a journey he didn't deserve, a fate only Lance was required to go trough.

He walked forward, his steps sure despite the fear he could feel thrumming inside his ribcage, his eyes fixated on the pink sky and the clouds on the horizon, beautiful and unchanging, giving him a sense of reprieve and serenity.

He stopped when he was close enough, closed his eyes and took the deepest breath he could, feeling it fill his lungs and then leave as he exhaled.

He opened his eyes, looked down, and _stared_.

The cliff was beautiful even on the dim light of the pink shining star above him, the flowers and trees and grass a pretty kaleidoscope of colors that covered the extent of the rocky slope, making it seem like a soft flower bed that would be awaiting him when he inevitably fell.

_One step forward._

The lions screamed at him to stop, repeating a chorus of _danger_ that he couldn't understand.

_Another step._

Red cried louder and said _sorry_ , her aura curling around him, giving apology after apology, her emotions wrecked and unstable but her voice telling him how she wished she was strong enough to do something about it, her grief soul-deep.

_Another one._

He thought about his teammates, about their cries and pleas for him to answer, about their surprised yelps when Red left the castle and nearly blew the base to bits, her anger and desolation excruciating.

_One more._

He remembered the team's interactions with one another as he came back, the way the seamlessly fit together like a well constructed puzzle, the way they worked with Keith and how he had, little by little, seemed to open for them and let them in.

_Yet another step._

He thought about Keith's back as it turned, a show of ultimate trust. He thought about his faint, hesitating voice as he asked Lance to watch his back, and all the things that had gone wrong afterwards, leading to this moment.

_One last step._

He let himself be engulfed by Red's memories, and drowned in _Keith_ ; his smiles, his jokes, his tears, his anger, his confused face, his sleeping one, the way he crossed his arms when he pouted or fiddled with the ends of his hair when he was nervous.

The way his smile lit up his whole face and freckles glittered on his cheeks when the sun shone right, the way he trained incessantly, trying to be the better version of himself he could, fighting for those that couldn't defend themselves. The way he fed the mice when he thought no one was looking, and how he cleaned Red every chance he got, talking with her like she was part of his family, her rumbles making him beam like he was the happiest guy in the universe.

He stooped breathing when he saw the tender, soft look Keith was giving someone, humming under his breath with a satisfied smile, his eyes teary as he cradled a head on his lap, running his fingers through their hair.

He realized it was _him_.

He stood on the edge of the precipice, letting the wind ruffle his hair and brush away his tears as he frowned, fists clenched as he refused to look down, any hesitation he had within himself now gone, resolution standing in it's place.

"This time I _will_ save you, I swear. No matter what it takes."

He waited for a heartbeat, brough his feet forward-

And jumped.

He had half a second to admire the weightlessness of his body and the beauty of the landscape, the sweet smell of flowers and the rush of the wind.

And then he fell.

And got swallowed up by darkness, the echoes of an ominous laugh accompanying him.

He kept his eyes closed, and thought about Keith's smile.

He didn't even feel the impact on the ground.

He felt nothing at all.

Time stopped.

He woke up.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNINGS FOR THIS WHOLE CHAP, BEWARE SPOILERS PLS:  
> ...  
> ...  
> ...  
> ...  
> \- Suicide (although not really) and suicide mention, sucidal tendencies.  
> \- Graphic depictions of wounds, gore and blood.  
> \- Murder.  
> \- Death.


	15. Rinse, repeat

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After Keith's horrible death, Lance struggles to come to terms with what happened, feeling himself break at the loss and the pain of having to experience such a hearbreaking trauma. 
> 
> He advances with the intention of winning against the force that tries to take Keith away from him, but the darkness is stronger than he ever imagined, and a vile presence that seems to lurk inside his own mind insists on painting his future red with the blood of his loved ones.
> 
> It seems like the tide is changing in his favour, though, and he fights tooth and nail to snatch Keith's life away from the cold hands of death, determined to succeed, even if he has to do it alone.
> 
> He'd never cared about his own pain, about having to redo, but it seems his stubborness brings him more trouble than it's worth, and, in his ignorane for the shadows dancing behind the recesses of his mind, he might have made a mistake that no one would be able to fix.
> 
> Not even himself.
> 
> Because every redo only brings more trouble, feeds an evil he doesn't understand. But he can't stop, not until Keith is safe.
> 
> He fears he will lose his sanity before that comes to happen. 
> 
> Maybe he already has.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here i come with another update, first of all, sorry for the delay, life's kicking my butt as of now and i'm ultra busy -among other things- so i wasn't able to write as much as i wanted.
> 
> Second of all, there won't be an update next month -most likely- because i'll be participating in the October writting challenge, one fic a day for every day of the month, all of them for Voltron, of course. They will be posted on AO3 and Tumblr at the same time, and when the month ends i will return to writting redo. I always wanted to try a challenge like this, and i found one that inspired me and sounded fun, and also i added the bonus that i would write the first idea that came to mind, no matter how stupid it sounded, so there's that.
> 
> That said, enjoy the chapter!! And see you on November!! <3<3 Love ALL of you :D

* * *

He woke up.

His eyes widened, a half choked gasp escaping his lips as his chest constricted, all the air leaving his lungs, his vision growing fuzzy before he could take in his surroundings while tremors raked his body.

He couldn't seem to move, everything was a blur of colors and shapes that he couldn't distinguish, the world coming into focus only to fade away ticks later, leaving him dizzy and disoriented. He felt like he was underwater, everything distorted and wobbly and he couldn't seem to _breathe_ -

Searing heat flowed through his veins, but he felt chills traveling down his spine with terrifying intensity, a crescendo of noise on the back of his mind growing louder and louder until it deafened every other sound, the echo of laughter and malicious voices like venom in his ears, making him choke and whimper and then-

The memories assaulted him even thought he tried to will them away. Fierce and unrelenting they cracked open his skull and forced images of his failure through the fissure, pushing and _pushing_ until he broke and the doors to his mind lay open wide, his psyche overwhelmed by the intensity of the emotions that suffocated him.

_He was drowning, drowning, drowning..._

Like a dam had been broken-

_He couldn't seem to reach the light._

-everything released upon him and then-

_Red._

_Redredsomuchred-_

It drenched his clothes and stained his face, falling like bloody rain-

He screamed.

His hands covered his ears against the onslaught of shrill screeching and laughter that flooded his mind, the white noise mingling with static and the voices that felt like nails against a chalkboard, vile and spiteful as they kept on mocking his fate, driving him crazy.

He curled into himself, trying to silence the wails bouncing off the walls and directly into his eardrums- But he realized it was useless, it was his own voice he was hearing. His hands gripped his hair and he tugged, seeking comfort on the distraction that the pain would bring, but then the memories came anew, like a dagger to the chest, repeating in an endless loop that tormented his mind, merciless, unforgiving.

It was _torture_.

He saw it, right before his very eyes, the image of Keith standing with his back to him, trusting Lance to keep him safe, leaving his life in _his_ hands, leaving himself open and vulnerable, ready to take a small step in the path to recovery and maybe forgiveness-

The soldier stood on the corner of his eye, _he saw him, he-_

He had to say something, move, scream, _anything_ -

He outstretched his hand-

Keith was there, just in front of him, he could see him, alive and bright with warmth, his leg jiggling with impatience as the scanner took more time than he thought, his back broader than he remembered. He was _so close_ , he had to warn him, had to do _something_ , he needed to reach him, push him away-

He thought he fell to the floor, but couldn't be sure.

There was no air, he couldn't speak and it was so cold and his hand was still extended forward, reaching, reaching, clawing at the air with the need to hold, to protect, to _stop_. He wanted to say his name, he had to move or shove him away- but he couldn't get there in time, he wasn't fast enough-

The light from the gun was stronger, brighter, it pulsated with sparks of lightning-

He had to watch in agony as the laser fired and Keith was shot in the head, the resulting red bathing the room in crimson, his past screams mingling with the present ones and the sobs that tore out his throat.

He watched, petrified, the way Keith's body hit the ground with a sickening crunch, the way his eyes lost all light and life and color left his face, his skin turning cold as ice and his aura fading to nothing, leaving an empty void that felt as hollow as it felt deep.

His fire snuffed out, the light of his life that had shone like an inferno simmering to a weak ember that blackened and smothered to ashes, leaving an emptiness in it's wake that made him cry harder, scream louder, knowing that he was unable to change it all, that he was powerless to do anything at all, useless, weak, so _worthless_ -

Purrs and distressed rumbles vibrated around him, but they couldn't rouse him, couldn't stop the loop in which he was stuck, repeating Keith's death again and again and _again_ until he felt his head was going to burst.

He thought he vomited all over the floor.

He couldn't remember any of it. Nothing but the torment and _pain_.

Nothing but Keith's back turned to him, a promise of a better future shattered by the will of fate, or the darkness that he was now sure dwelled within his mind.

It overwhelmed him, plunged him inside an inky black darkness, thick and deep, choking him as he fought to rise to the surface, to escape the hands that brought him back down towards the madness of a never-ending suffering, the agony of having to watch as one of his friends faded away right before his eyes.

He coughed and cried and pleaded for it to stop, his mind stretched to the point of breaking, the cycle beginning anew as the memories repeated yet again- he couldn't take it anymore, he couldn't breathe, couldn't _think_ -

_Stop. Please. No more._

The noises mingled and meshed; past, present, echoes of voices, warnings and pleas and promises. Louder, harsher, a horrifying crescendo in tandem with his own screams, the white noise and static and the sound of a body hitting the floor-

_It hurts, it hurts, make it stop, please-_

The crimson rain falling over them both-

_Please-_

Abrupty, he felt colors sneak into his mind with purpose, small and faint but _furious_ , advancing with unwavering strength, their energy hurrying to shroud his body and-

The velvet and aquamarine colors embraced him and yanked back with such force he became dizzy even thought he wasn't moving, lime and gold hands covered his ears and eyes and whispered sweet lullabies into his wretched mind, and an ebony wall, impenetrable and robust, steel-like and immovable, stood between him and the dark tendrils suffocating him and poisoning his very soul, blocking everything and then-

And then, nothing but blissful silence .

The world inside his mind stopped moving, stopped working, leaving nothing but a white canvas, a barren landscape devoid of memories or pain, of crimson and whispers and a force pushing him towards a madness unseen.

He was only aware of his own harsh pants and the sweat running down his neck.

The tension left his body as quick as his tears fell and he slumped, boneless and exhausted, having no energy to move let alone do anything more than breath, tremors raking his being as he tried to adjust and remember how his body was supposed to work.

He couldn't seem to remember how to move, neither speak, he was stuck in a limbo, with his mind being half-stuck on a silent, ethereal plane, and his physical body curled up on the ground, a mess of snot and tears and vomit that struggled to function.

He was _scared_.

But that fear was whisked away when the aquamarine color released it's hold and embraced him instead, humming against his cheek with a tenderness and protectiveness that could only belong to one being.

_'Blue...'_

The answering rumbles and sweet touches to his mind told him that he was right, and the one he recognized as Red wasted no time into joining her sister, caressing his tired mind and soothing his distressed thoughts with warm whispers and nuzzles.

It was grounding.

And then yellow and green freed his senses, and he had half the mind to panic- but the silence still stretched into eternity, the echoes of his own thoughts bouncing back to him with astounding clarity, both lions curling around his form and hissing, growling, like they were issuing a warning towards something- or _someone_.

Their bubbly and concerned presences worked to stabilize him a little more, their energies, bound to earth and nature, steady and balanced, helped piece him together and connect the strings that linked his mind to his body.

It was like being _shocked_.

And then he could feel everything again; the way his hands hurt from being closed so tightly, the way his throat burnt and his eyes stung with tears, how his legs were cramping and his stomach was seizing with the need to vomit, how his ears were ringing and how cold the floor was and how bad vile tasted on his tongue.

He was hyperaware of every single thing around him, and it made his hair stand on end, goosebumps rising on his skin and chills running down his spine, the sporadic twitching of his chest making him hiccup and then wince when the noise hurt his throat, which was raw and hot like he'd drank liquid fire.

He couldn't understand what just happened, he struggled to comprehend _why_ , the panic rising to the surface once more-

And then Black joined the others and he froze.

He'd never felt so intimidated by an ethereal, incorporeal presence before.

Black was mad-

No. He was _enraged_.

He was seething and growling, the noise reverberating around him and reinforcing the wall that stood between him and any external -or internal- force that tried to pass through. The leader of the lions was a mess, for lack of a better word, he was trying to refrain itself from sending too many thoughts at Lance at the same time- But some still seeped out of him, convoluted and confusing, but insightful nonetheless.

An image of him, ready to jump off a cliff- A strong feeling of denial, a plea to wait, the words ' _wrong_ ' and ' _bad_ ' repeated again and again- Inky black hands reaching for his turned back, the shadows dripping, vile- A plea to _stop_ \- Black's distorted voice speaking to him- _Stop it, Mavi_ \- A fierce and desperate desire to- _Keep away, protect, protect._

It took him a minute to process and decipher everything, but once he did, he understood many things, and dismay and self-hate bloomed in his chest.

Black....Black had tried to warn him _before_ , when...when he'd jumped off the cliff. He'd been trying to tell Lance that something felt _wrong_ through their bond, that something was amiss...But he'd been so...heartbroken, so intent on fixing his mistake, on making sure that that horrifying event never happened...that he hadn't stopped to listen.

He was paying the price now.

He was beyond scared- _terrified_ , and Black didn't know what was going on, no one did, he just blocked whatever had been hurting him until they could figure out a way to solve it. There was nothing but his quintessence preventing the malevolent, swirling maelstrom on the other side from wrecking his mind again.

Just thinking about it was horrifying.

But...but he was back, his eyes were fixated on the counter on the other side of the room, the one where he ate breakfast every morning.....it meant that he had gone back just like usual, it meant that...that Keith was still _alive_ , that he still had _time_ -

He pictured his face, and ignored the faint echoes of the words _'You shouldn't have'_ that throbbed with his every heartbeat, focusing instead on the hope that had brought him here in the first place, the one where his powers were finally put to good use.

To change _fate_.

He had to get a hold of himself, he couldn't afford the luxury of dawdling, he had a _mission_ ; the mission of saving Keith and preventing his horrible future from becoming a reality. He wouldn't let it happen, he wouldn't allow it.

He let those thoughts take him over and fill his chest with determination instead of fear, brushing away insecurities and doubts and leaving nothing but resolve and a fierce desire to _protect_. He wouldn't fail Keith, not again, never again.

The tender hold around his form vanished and swiftly morphed until Blue stood in front of him, her usual ethereal form nuzzling his neck as she drowned in worry and uncertainty, both emotions transmitting loud and clear through their bond. Red and the others were still a soothing presence in his mind, balancing his quintessence that had gone haywire just minutes before, leaving him unable to function, stuck in a limbo between panic and fear that left him no room to breathe.

And then there was Black.

Who still wouldn't approach him or touch his mind beyond the wall he was maintaining, who was simmering in anger and unease at having something intruding on one of his paladins' mind, the sacred place that only those bonded were allowed to traverse. He could feel the fear and the rage and frustration the lion was engulfed in, but underneath it all, beneath the layers of dread and dismay and other negative thoughts, lay a large cloud of guilt that confused Lance and made him realize he may had been misinterpreting Black's actions.

He wasn't mad at _him_ , wasn't angry because Lance hadn't listened or because he'd messed up somehow. Black was mad because he hadn't been able to _protect_ Lance, because he couldn't comprehend what was happening and aid him on how to stop it, because he couldn't seem to help him in anyway, because he felt he'd _failed_ as a leader.

 _'Hey...no...this isn't your fault...'_ He felt Black's essence turn to him, hopeful and curious, the turmoil of his quintessence gradually fizzling down.

 _' I didn't notice that anything weird was going on until now....many things don't make sense and I'm- scared, but I don't blame you -any of you- for any of it. You might be ten thousand year old magical lions, but you don't have all the answers, and I know that pisses you off, but there's nothing you can do about it right now.'_ Black approached slowly, his energy dwindling down to a small breeze, leaving behind the tempest of emotions that had blinded him of anything but fury and a need to keep safe what was _his_.

 _'What you can do, however, is help me so I stay focused and balanced, help me so we can save Keith and then- then...we will figure out what's wrong with me, what has been wrong since the very beginning. Okay?'_ Black rumbled in agreement, a small growl ridden with apologies echoing inside the silent landscape that was his mind, offering reassurance and support, his presence a steady warmth that curled around Lance's chest, purring in an attempt at energizing him, sharing his energy with him so he could move.

He was still on the floor, after all.

The first thing he did was unfurl his arms and legs and stretch them out, the bones popping and muscles screaming at him to stop. Something he wouldn't do, because as much as it hurt, it would feel infinitely better when he massaged them and the cramps ended, he knew from experience.

A few minutes later, when his legs weren't killing him anymore and his hands stopped being tender and raw, he pushed himself off the metal floors, fighting against a dizzy spell, trying to stay upright and falling on his butt when he failed, the squelch he made as he hit the ground again making his hairs rise in disgust.

He didn't want to look. At all.

So he tried to stand once more, this time slower and leaning on the bed, and noticing that he'd been successful and his light-headedness had faded some, he walked, wobbly and tired, towards the control panel on the wall, punching in the code to call the space-roomba so it could deal with the mess he'd made while he took a shower.

The trip to the bathroom took him longer than he would like to admit, but ten minutes under the warm water with his scented soaps, and another ten taking a bath, and he came out like a man rejuvenated, like he'd been reborn, still exhausted and feeling like passing out, but no longer feeling disgusting or disconnected from reality.

The floor felt steady and firm under his feet, and his mind felt lighter than in months.

He was _okay_ , he was _fine_ , he could do this.

He just needed to plan this throughly, decide what to do, look at the situation from every angle so he was sure he would prevent Keith from fading away. The lions agreed with him, and Red was specially vocal with her ' _thanks_ ' and ' _sorrys_ ', her presence sticking to him like glue and refusing to move, apologetic and grieving, still hurting from the feel of her bond being snapped, still guilty that she had to ask such actions from Lance.

 _'It's okay, girl, I think I would still have done the same, even if you hadn't asked me. My mind was just too shocked in that moment, enough that I didn't remember I couldn't die, enough that the idea didn't even cross my mind. But...'_ He trailed off, reminiscing the little moments he'd shared with Keith in the past, envisioning what their friendship could be like when he finally apologized and their bad blood was left behind.

 _'...I still would have jumped off that cliff on my own, no matter how scared I was, no matter how much it hurt or how there was the possibility that it didn't work. Keith was worth the risk, my family was worth the risk. So don't feel bad, please.'_ She whined and cradled him closer, her grip fierce and warm, her aura seeping gratefulness and pride and _love_ , letting him feel the extent to which she was thankful and just how much that meant to her.

Because she might not be Blue, she might not be bubbly and happy and accepting as her sister, but Red was just as loving of her own paladins, fierce and passionate in her desire to protect them, wishing to keep them out of harm's way and cherish them till the end of her days.

 _'I get it, girl, I know you love him -she growled- okay and me too, I guess, we know that, don't worry. Let's just get going and make sure that we save your fiery paladin, okay?'_ She hummed, her presence detaching from him and shifting into a small version of herself, which curled near his tight as he sat on the bed, taking a deep breath and getting ready to form a plan.

"Okay, okay....first things first. What....what caused Keith's death?" He thought back on it, on the soldier named Eoth and how he'd come seeking for revenge, saying that they had killed his brother, who was probably the Galran Keith had gotten rid of as they infiltrated the base.

He still shuddered when he remembered it.

Just thinking about it made him sick, he knew Galran soldiers had families just like anyone else, but up till this point, they had never encountered ones that were so....ordinary, so familiar and natural with each other, making it clear as day that they were related, that they _cared_ for each other.

It was unusual within Galran ranks, and made it all the more difficult to fight them -or hate them, or want to punish them in revenge-, because it reminded him of his own families, both of them, and the things he was willing to do to make sure they were safe.

None of those things were pretty or just, and he wasn't ashamed to admit it.

"Yeah, I think that...that was it." He said out loud. "They were related, and the one Keith killed was probably still alive and contacted his brother, who came back and sought us out to avenge the other. The- the easy choice would be preventing Keith from hurting that Galran, no?" He reasoned with himself that if the Galran was just knocked out, in the event that he woke and ended up contacting his brother somehow, there would be no bloodthirst towards them, no motivation to hunt them down so fiercely, since they wouldn't have killed his family this time around.

He doubted any squadron would come as reinforcements to help them if one of the soldiers contacted the other bases, since they would be busy fighting his teammates, so it was just those two he needed to be cautious of. Maybe issue a warning and appeal to their brotherhood so they would leave, maybe threaten them both or just one and force them to retreat.

And if that didn't work....well, he would be _ready_.

He wasn't going to leave Keith's back unprotected again.

He swore on his name.

Blue purred in agreement against his cheek, although he could sense her concern and the deep feeling of unease that traveled her thoughts, an emotion that all the other lions mirrored, still unsettled by the previous events and their inability to help beyond what they had already done.

He felt his heart swell with affection at the care and support he was receiving, giving all the lions the equivalent of a mind-hug, reassuring them that it was okay, that they had done more than enough, and that he was ready to move on and fight for his future- their future.

He sat on his bed, twiddling his fingers and basking on the humming that thrummed loudly and steady around him, like the clapping of thunder or the sizzling of sparks, continuous and serene like a lullaby, settling his nerves as he awaited for the signal that would start it all.

He gave himself pep-talks and revisited his strategy five, ten, twenty times, until he felt he wasn't going to forget, until he knew he had every angle and variable covered, until he was sure he would knew how to act in every situation regardless of the reaction he would get out of his actions.

He had to be quick, he couldn't afford to make any mistakes.

He was in the middle of his twenty-one review when the castle comms came to life-

"Paladins, this is Allura speaking, come to the control room as soon as you're available, we've reached our destination, and I've got some....news, to share with you all." His breath got caught in his throat, and he wasted no time in running to his closet and dressing at lightning speed, an itch rising under his skin, edging him to move onward, to run until his eyes caught sight of black and purple and red.

He practically flew down the chutes and hallways, completely disregarding the lift and arriving to the control room within ticks, just as Allura was receiving the transmission for the first time, her eyes widening at his presence but prompting him forward with barely concealed urgency.

He was ashamed to admit he ignored her, walking ahead as his eyes traveled to the far end of the left side of the room, landing on a tired face and narrowed purple eyes, a fiery red aura bleeding all over the floor and burning everything in it's wake, the flames scorching and warm at the same time, filling him with a sense of peace he couldn't put into words.

Keith was _alive_.

He was _okay_.

A weight that had been smothering him fell off his shoulders, and the relief he felt was so intense his legs nearly buckled, the red paladin's eyes widening in worry before hands supported Lance, the neon yellow nail polish letting him know who it was without even looking.

"Thanks, Pidgeon." He muttered, gazing down and into the concerned hazel eyes of his friend, who held him up on her own, her arms exerting an immense amount of strength for such a small body. She shook hear head, her grip tightening as her mouth upturned and her brow creased in obvious worry, guiding him towards his seat and forcing him to sit down before he could protest.

"Are you still feeling bad, Lance? You should be more careful..." He chuckled, touched by her concern and the softness that emanated from her every word.

"Nah, I'm okay. I just got up too quickly, got dizzy after I stopped running. But I'm fine, really, don't worry." She looked unconvinced for a tick, but eventually nodded, taking a seat by his side -or more like, on his lap- and turning around when the whirring sound of the door opening echoed behind them, Lotor and the girls entering together.

The sound seemed to startle Allura, who whirled around and gazed back at the Galran team, acknowledging their arrival before addressing everyone present. " Now that all of you are here, you must be wondering why I required your presence with such haste." Everyone nodded, oblivious to the things they were going to see, the horrible video that he wished he could erase from his mind, but actually never would, since it was proof that Shiro was alive, that Matt was alive.

It was going to hurt watching it, it was going to be painful....but it would also evoke _hope_.

And everyone needed a little bit of that right now.

"You see - Allura turned her back to them, fiddling with the controls- the castle of lions received a leaked transmission from planet Gladia a few vargas ago. I didn't want to say anything until we determined if the data was harmful in anyway or if it contained a virus or something of equal nature." The princess brought up a holo screen, the icon for a video file showing up alongside a coded message in a language he couldn't read.

But he knew what it said anyway, it was a plea from Te-osh, asking for help from their allied forces so they could take out the ' _Entertainment resort_ ' called Gladia and rescue Matt, whom she loved like a son. A message that would get no answer, because the rebels were too scared to carry out such a large-scale attack, they didn't want to bring attention to themselves, chosing instead to remain in the shadows doing smaller incursions and rescues.

Which was appreciated all the same. But this planet was...it's existence was _atrocious_ , everything it represented was wrong and twisted and it needed to disappear.

There was no place in their universe for such cruelty.

"As it turns out, though, no malicious codes or hardware were found, and we retrieved a video feed hacked directly from the Galran servers on Gladia, which is the reason I called you here." Allura faced them once again, face serious and composed, although he could see the shaking of her hands, betraying just how nervous she really was. " I'm going to play the file now, if that's alright with you." Around him, everyone gave their consent, murmurs floating in the air as the file loaded, the percentage seeming more like a countdown to him.

He could hear Hunk trying to guess what it could be about, Lotor whispering about possible threats and outcomes to his sisters, Coran and Allura recounting their steps and making sure that they were safe from outside attacks or interferences, Pidge's nonsense about coding and codified data and cracking files and variables.

And admist it all, he thought he heard a whisper of a plea, a small, near silent voice asking for proof, for something to hold onto, for a tiny scrape of hope that meant his family hadn't been lost.

He looked to the left, body moving on it's own, head tilted towards where the red paladin stood, eyes closed and arms curled around his chest, making him seem small as he clenched his eyes tight, mouth moving continuously as if he was repeating a mantra to himself, some sort of reassurance. He took in the way his bangs fell over his nose, longer now after two moths had passed, how the strands curled around his cheeks that were airbrushed with freckles, his pale skin making them pop.

He saw the broadness of his shoulders and the dip of his jaw and the curve of his neck, the small rising and falling of his chest and the burning fire shining bright beneath flesh and bone, pulsating with his every heartbeat, vibrant and raging and brimming with _life_.

He never wanted to see that light disappear.

Not again.

"Ah -Pidge said- it's playing now." He looked at her, eager and curious, a wondering expression on her youthful face, unassuming of the horrors that Gladia had in store for them. For her.

 _'Welcome, soldiers and warriors, to another exciting match of the Galran coliseum! Let's begin today's match! Place your vote on which prisoners you want -_ ' He tuned the voice out. He already knew what happened anyway, and wasn't sure he could take watching the feed a second time. So he focused on watching Pidge, instead.

She was wringing her hands, something she did when she was nervous or stressed, and her mouth was slightly open, eyes widening more and more with each image they saw, growing shiny when she didn't even blink, too absorbed in what was before her. It was hard watching the emotions shift on her face, going from hopeful to happy to distressed, then horrified and devastated, ending in a bout of despair and guilt that shrouded her like a halo.

He remembered the first time he entered the control room, _before_ , and how she'd been alone, weeping in a corner, her back to everyone and her sobs stifled by her hands, holding in her sorrow until the dam broke and everything overflowed, like a raging river without control.

She had probably shied from physical comfort before -since she didn't like touch when she was distressed, unless she initiated it- and it pained him to know she'd had to go trough all that alone, her teammates unable to do anything but watch. But he was here _now_ , this was the first time, and the feed wouldn't have to be played again since he'd been early, she wouldn't have to suffer twice, and he was close enough that he could comfort her when she needed it.

He hadn't thought about it before, too scared for Keith, but he was going to fix this too, minimize the damage, give her a shoulder to cry on, someone to rely on.

He looked down at her again, and watched with remorse as her eyes filled with tears, teeth biting her lips to conceal the sobs building in her chest, her hands no longer fiddling with he clothes, gripping her forearms instead with astounding force.

A deathly silence suddenly made him look up, and he noticed that everyone had fallen silent, sporting pale faces with varying degrees of disgust and alarm, frozen in time with a stillness that came from shock, the only sound around them the counting of the ticker and Pidge's aborted cries.

He also heard some strangled gasps, the noise so fleeting and soft he'd thought he imagined it, but then he was swarmed by waves of _despairhopelovehappinessworryguilt-_ and he doubled over, the intensity of the emotions burning behind his ribcage and stealing his breath away, leaving him gaping like a fish out of water.

He knew where that fierce passion and fire came from, _who_ it came from, it was as if he was shrouded in the color red, breathing it in, drowning in it. Keith was so overwhelmed he didnt know what to do with himself. No wonder he hadn't known what to say to Pidge _before_ , he'd been a mess himself, trying to gather how he felt and regainig some semblance of balance.

" _Lance_!?" An alarmed voice, congested and shaky, brought him back from his musings, his body feeling feverish and overheated as Keith's emotions ran rampant through his bloodstream, making it hard to think for a tick.

"I- I'm fine Pidge, don't worry." Her tiny hands cradled his face and she looked him dead in the eye, ignoring her own pain and her tears in favour of making sure he was okay. God, he felt like he didn't deserve them, sometimes.

"You don't have to lie to me, it's written all over your face -she sniffed- It's okay to not be okay, you know? You can talk to me- to any of us. Did the video bring back bad memories from....from the other side?" That....while it might had been true that he had many traumas and bad memories from the alternate reality, he'd already come to terms with them, and filed them away to revisit them when he felt some ends might have been left loose, reliving the events and sighing in relief when nothing was out of place.

But it still made his heart soar and feel all mushy and soft inside that they worried so much about him, that they hadn't forgotten he'd been alone on a journey they still knew little about, same with the consequences it might have brought along.

He felt himself smile before he could stop it, clasping his hands around Pidge's and squeezing softly. " You know the same applies to you, don't you?" He wiped away her tears with his thumb, watching the sadness as it filled her eyes and made her face fall, mouth wobbly and trembling with every hitched breath.

"I'm okay, I'm being honest, I was just....shocked. But...it must be ten times worse for you, and I want you to know I'm here for you, too. It's okay to cry, Pidge, you should know that by now." She stubbornly refused, shaking her head and hiding behind her longer fringe, shoulders shaking with restrained sobs.

"I can't- I can't be that selfish when _he-_ when he's over there, probably suffering more than me- I'm sure....I'm sure he hates me now, because Matt- I was worried about him, I said so, I was so happy- and he was hurting Shiro, I know that look on his face-" He wrapped his arms around her smaller frame, holding tight, humming under his breath like his mom used to do when he was distressed or panicking.

"It's okay, it's fine. You're not selfish for worrying about your brother, and I'm sure you're worried about Shiro too, you can't blame yourself for wanting Matt to be okay, neither hate yourself because you focused on him over Shiro." He ran his fingers through her hair, curly and wild but surprisingly soft, the motions making her hiccups slow down.

"And it's the same for Keith, I'm sure he just doesn't know how to react. He would never hate you for being happy that your family is safe or because you were concerned for Matt. We are Voltron, we are bonded to each other; by trust, by fate, by _love_. If you concentrate, I'm sure you'll be able to feel Keith through your link, you'll be surprised at what you'll find." She took in a shuddering breath, fear in her eyes before she closed them, her hands clutching Lance's shirt in a tight grip as her whole body shook.

"Just focus, think of it as a thread- look for a red string and follow it's path, don't be scared, we are friends, we are family, it's okay." He began humming again, feeling how Pidge reached for Keith in the weird limbo of their mingling quintessences, careful and hesitant, afraid to mess up.

He could pinpoint the exact moment she finally made contact, her whole being stopping before being engulfed by flames. But ones that didn't burn, didn't scorch her skin raw, ones that warmed her inside out, that thawed the ice in her veins and melted the anxiety she held until just a shadow of it remained.

He could feel Keith's surprise at her presence, his own aura reaching for her, doubtful-

Pidge looked up at Lance with a twinkle in her eyes, and he nodded at her without hesitation, the green paladin jumping from his lap and running towards Keith, proceeding to glomp the hell out of him and hug him for dear life. He could hear the shriek Keith let out as he found himself with an armful of Pidge, and her sniffles as she talked with the red paladin, their conversation quiet and soft enough that he didn't hear, neither did he want to.

It was a private moment between them, and he wasn't about to interfere.

"I....I recognize that place now." Lotor's voice suddenly echoed around them all, dripping with disgust and abhorrence. "It's....a Galran-controlled environment made for.... _recreational purposes_." That was what Allura said last time, it seemed it had been the prince who had shared that piece of information with her before.

"Zarkon created it to...motivate his soldiers so they wouldn't...break, its....a disgrace, to put it mildly." Lotor continued explaining the intrinsics of planet Gladia and all the atrocities that happened there, the rest of his teammates looking sicker by the second at the things they were hearing.

Half-away through Lotor's report, Pidge came back with Keith in tow, the green paladin reclaiming her seat on Lance's lap with the brightest smile he'd ever seen, determination flaring in her gaze as she squeezed his hands, a silent thank you that made him lit up in happiness.

The red paladin just stood next to his chair, glancing down at Pidge with fondness and relief, nodding at Lance when their eyes met in a silent agreement to make everything in their power so they could protect Pidge, so they could make sure she was happy.

It felt like they were closer than before, for some reason, and his chest throbbed with the painful reminder that if he wanted to preserve this, if he wanted to _advance_ , he had to make sure no mistakes were made, that nothing was left to chance.

He couldn't fail. He wouldn't.

He squeezed Pidge's hands a little harder, and thought he was going to die when a hand landed on his shoulder, putting a bit of pressure in a soothing manner before leaving.

And then Te-osh contacted them, and the events of _before_ unfolded just the same.

The spot on his shoulder burnt for hours after.

It felt like a reminder.

\--

His heart pounded in his chest as they approached Gladia, and he thought it would break through his ribcage with the force of it, the heartbeats fast and loud against his ears, echoing endlessly alongside the lions' purrs, who refused to leave him completely alone even though he told them repeatedly to focus on their mission and _stop worrying._

But no such luck. The others may had heeded his advice, but Blue and Red were stubborn, and once they refused to break connection, the other three followed suit, making his headspace their home and giving him a headache with so many growls and rumbles.

It wasn't like he didn't appreciate it, not at all. But he was worried their diverted attention would affect his teammates and put them in danger. Black was quick to reassure him that they were focused and would never let the paladins get hurt on their watch, but that they were concerned for Lance, with all that had happened before, and didn't feel comfortable leaving him on his own.

He understood their reasoning, he was still pretty freaked out by what happened once he woke up, he could still feel the steely presence of Black's wall, blocking the shadows that tried to force themselves upon him.

He shuddered just thinking about it.

"-ance. Lance are you listening?" He startled and jumped out of his seat, panicking for a tick before he realized it was Keith speaking to him, making him swallow and try to calm his rapid breaths. "We are touching down. Are you ready to land?" He exhaled and counted to ten, willing the fear and insecurity away so he could bask in the determination he had bundled inside his chest, ready to burst.

"Ready when you are." He followed Keith's lead and flew over the deserted landscape, his eyes raking over the expanse of abandoned soil, dead and solitary where edification hadn't been needed. He followed the dips and curves of the dunes, the pointed walls of rock, the thinning trees that shone yellow in the evening light and then-

He felt cold all over, and the wall inside his mind shuddered, the beginning of murmurs and soft-spoken whispers reaching his ears, his eyes widening when he caught sight of the cliff from _before_ , prompting his heart to skip a beat and his blood freeze in his veins with a sudden bout of terror.

He couldn't _breathe_ , he was surrounded by red and wind and the smell of flowers, his feet bringing him closer to the edge as the breeze ruffled his hair, beckoning, the voices screaming for release, for a fall, for a _redo_.

He doubled over and nearly crashed his pod, prompting the red paladin to scream at him, concern and shock in his every word, the gentle reach of his aura bringing him back from the downright spiral he'd been falling in.

The whispers stopped, being replaced by Keith's voice, and the wall was solid and unbreakable once more, stillness returning to his addled mind.

"-ance! _Lance_ , what's wrong?" He smiled despite himself, relieved, grounded.

"Sorry Keith I- I didn't feel so good for a tick there. But I'm okay now." A shaky breath through the comms was the only answer he received, static mixing with the fight going on on the other side of the planet and Pidge's cursing, getting a laugh out of him.

"...Are you sure? Maybe you should go back-"

" _No_!" He screamed in his haste, suddenly terrified and anxious, unable to hide the fear in his voice. He couldn't leave- he couldn't- Keith needed him."I- I'm fine, honest. It was just a bit of dizziness, it wont happen again." He waited with bated breath until a sigh came from the comms, carrying begrudging acceptance and defeat, those emotions covering the hesitation that lay dormant, but active, in every interaction the other paladin had with him.

" _Fine_. But if I see anything remotely wrong I'm sending you back. Okay?" He scoffed, the worry and disquiet in the other's tone making him smile in fond exasperation, his answer being a soft ' _Sure_ ' to which Keith only hummed in reply, informing him that they needed to land on the space behind a giant dune.

He steeled himself, preparing for what he knew was coming, preventing his mind from wandering any longer and focusing only on his mission; _keep Keith safe._

A rumble encompassed his being with affection and agreement, and Red -always at the ready and not willing to let anything happen to her paladin- helped fuel his resolve, images of both past and present passing by at lightning speed before his eyes, rekindling the flame of the same fierce determination that had never really left.

He closed his eyes, and let the picture of Keith's smile -that only Red was privy to- burn behind his closed lids, ingraining the curve of his lips and the dip of his jaw into his mind, the sound of his voice and the expanse of his back as he turned away, depositing his trust -and his life- in Lance's hands.

That was more than enough for him to focus and empty his mind of unnecessary thoughts, letting himself be overwhelmed by the waves of love and pride that the lions -and Red, specially- sent his way, encouragement and support warming him inside out.

The next breath he took felt chilly and deep, and he felt completely calm and balanced, on guard, ready to strike at the slightest sign of danger, alert and aware of his surroundings with a hypersensitivity that would have been overhwelming any other time. But that worked in his favor right now, his abilities maxed out by the lions' own quintessence as they lent him their help, willing to do anything in their power to protect what was theirs.

They were multitasking, though, and regretfully told him that they wouldn't be able to do much more, already keeping the looming shadows at bay with all their might while simultaneously sharing their energy with him. They had to focus on their own fights, and their worry for him shrouded Lance like a blanket, his mind transmitting a silent thank you that couldn't convey the extent of what he felt.

But he hoped it was enough.

The colorful presences in his mindscape slowly vanished, leaving behind rainbow-colored dust and the shadows of their essence, a reminder he was not alone. He clutched the controls with a grip tight enough to bruise, and proceeded to land the pod when Keith gave him the signal, landing smoothly and exiting as soon as he could, blaster in hand and poised for combat.

Keith joined him a few ticks later, sending him a strange, confused look, probably wondering why he was so on edge, but didn't ask him anything, only motioning for him to follow as he took out the map, walking down the path that he knew lead to central comand.

The rocky terrain and the smell of flowers was nauseating, and even the way their star bathed everything in its pink light made the flashbacks resurface -albeit for less than half a tick- bringing him discomfort and unease.

They thrummed through his veins as both he and Keith traversed the desert-like landscape as quick as they could, Lance looking around every few seconds to make sure nothing was amiss, that no enemy was in sight.

It took them barely five minutes to arrive at the closed metal doors that led to the base, and he took in a sharp breath, heart beating against his ribcage at twice the normal speed, knowing that anytime now the galrans would exit and then-

A whirring sound made him freeze, his body going rigid and refusing to move, breath caught in his throat as anxiety and fear and dread tried to take him over- but the energy of the lions erased those emotions away, like scribbles on a chalkboard, the dust being carried by the breeze.

He reacted like struck by lightning and quickly pulled Keith to the side, hiding behind some bushes as the doors finally opened, Eoth and Ath striding out without a care in the world, sounding cheery and casual.

His blood felt like molten lava in his veins, and he had to be very conscious of his body and drown the impulses that said to lash out _now_ , the image of Eoth firing his blaster still ingrained into his mind's eye- red, red, red, and redder still until it was all he could see.

He couldn't do it, not yet. If he blew their cover now, the sentries and soldiers and any fighting forces still remaining inside the building could come as reinforcements, rendering all their efforts at sneaking useless. He had to wait until the alarms blared and alerted the galrans of the fight going on so the complex was emptied and ready for the taking.

Didn't mean that the waiting wasn't killing him, though.

He wasn't even listening to the conversation going on, chosing instead to look at Keith and gauge his reactions, the galrans' talk a background noise that barely registered in his mind. He saw a clenched jaw and tight fists, a trembling hand and glistening eyes, teeth biting into the soft flesh of lips until blood trickled down, dripping onto the floor in silence.

He saw the moment Keith's back tensed, and his eyes narrowed into slits just as Ath was finally left alone, his focus so great that nothing else seemed to exist around him, sword at the ready and feet poised to strike, chest leaning forward and knees flexed-

He caught the red paladin's wrist and tugged him back, getting a hiss and a glare out of his abrupt movement, Keith falling on his ass and cursing under his breath while he asked Lance what the hell he was doing-

But he was already setting his blaster to stun and jumping out of his hiding place just as fast as Keith would've, barely hesitating before aiming at the soldier-

"Wha- _Intruder_!" Ath raised his weapon, but Lance was faster. He shot him in the chest with deadly accuracy, and watched as the Galran fell in a heap, shocks running through his body as he was rendered unconscious.

He barely had time to sigh in relief when a hand landed on his shoulder, turning him around and coming face to face with a very angry, confused, and fiery paladin.

" _Lance_..."Keith muttered, voice rough and expression crestfallen, just uttering his name being enough for him to receive the full blow of the emotions Keith was carrying; the doubt, the fear, the confusion and uncertainty.

Words filled him mind, as if he was hearing the red paladin's thoughts themselves, questions that swirled like an untamed current inside his friend's chest, wild and running rampant among a storm of anxiety.

Words about lack of faith, about rejection and distrust and broken bonds.

Keith thought that Lance didn't trust him to keep them safe, that he didn't believe in his leadership skills or being capable of taking charge. That he was still mad and holding a grudge or that he'd seen Keith's murderous glare and had gotten scared, because _so much had changed in the time they had been apart, maybe Lance saw him as a monster-_

That was unacceptable.

He glanced right back at the other, mustering all the honesty and warmth he could before speaking, intent on letting his friend know he was wrong. "Sorry Keith, you just.....you looked really _mad_. And with reason, of course, but.....I didn't want you to do something in a bout of rage that you would regret later..." All the fight seemed to drain out of Keith, his shoulders drooping and the hand on Lance's shoulder leaving as if burnt, his eyes downcast while he toyed with his blade, probably thinking about what he would have done if Lance hadn't stopped him.

"I know this is war, and that...casualties are unavoidable, but....this time they weren't. There was another way, and I wanted to...." _I wanted to spare you the burden of taking another life, of carrying that weight. I wanted to prevent the look of utter misery and shame you would give me after you killed that soldier._

_I wanted to follow the path were you suffered less, were you didn't force yourself to do the killing so someone else didn't have to, hating yourself for it while knowing it had been necessary, but feeling guilty and abashed all the same. I wanted to make things right._

_I wanted to protect you._

"....I wanted to make sure we were as inconspicuous as possible. Besides, remember Allura's warning, do not engage unless necessary, right?" Keith looked disappointed for a tick, expression passing by so quick he nearly missed it, eventually settling for a small nod of his head and a quiet sigh.

His voice was but a whisper when he spoke, but Lance heard him anyway. "Thanks."

"No problem, let me tie this guy up and let's go in, yeah?" The red paladin straightened and his face wiped out, leaving only the grave, somber air that had shrouded him like a blanket when they first descended. He opened the map and began memorizing the route while Lance took the opportunity to approach the Galran, ready to make sure he wouldn't escape.

The first thing he did was search for a communicator or some sort of comms device, which Ath had inside a pocket of his uniform, then proceeded to destroy it, rendering him unable to contact anyone. Afterwards, he took some rope he'd brought just for the occasion and bound his hands and feet, taking him behind the bushes and finding a tree to bind him to, checking that the ropes were tight enough and there were no weapons or tools on the Galran.

There were none. Perfect.

He ran towards the main path and looked to where the soldier lay in a heap, trying to see if he was visible from his point of view. He wasn't. He sighed in relief and made a checklist of the things he had to do to ensure they were safe, one by one, not willing to make a mistake, he couldn't allow himself to.

No way for the soldier to ask for reinforcements? _Check_. Inmovilized Ath and left him hidden? _Check_. Leaving him alive in the off-chance that they needed information and to ensure Keith didn't feel guilty? _Check_. Making sure no enemies were around? _On course_. Watching Keith's back like his life depended on it? _On course_. Apologizing to him?.... _on hold._

Nodding to himself and inhaling through his nose, he leveled his blaster and turned towards Keith, who was waiting for him with the map still on, tilting his head for a tick before walking towards the base, Lance following suit and staying close, his heart beating in anticipation.

_It was okay, everything was fine._

He kept repeating the words like a mantra, trying to will the uneasiness away and get his breaths back to normal, but it didn't work. The closer they got to the control room, the shakier his steps got, sweat dripping down his brow as the wall within his mind seemed to shudder, vibrations akin to whispers filling his ears, trying to distract him.

But it wouldn't work _this time._

His eyes were glued to Keith, wide open and barely blinking, determined to keep his promise and protect him, no matter what. His chest felt tight as the doors came closer, and his breath hitched while his vision glazed over, a red haze making his eyes tear up, forcing him to shake his head to rid himself of the memories.

_It's okay, it's okay._

Keith stepped in like it was nothing, unaware of the inner turmoil Lance was facing, the tremors raking his body and the too tight grip on his blaster, the rapid staccato of his heart against his ribcage and the way his eyes scanned every surface, nook and cranny of the room, the apprehension and fear stifling.

He followed after the red paladin, torn between gazing everywhere but at him or vice versa, his eyes beginning to itch from how long he'd had them open. His feet carried him soundly until both of them were near the panel, and Lance had the doors on his peripheral, blaster poised to strike should it ever open, finger on the trigger.

His focus was so strong and the tension on his body was coiled so tight he thought the softest sound would snap him, like a rubber band stretched too thin. But it took Keith's voice to make him come back from his self-induced cautionary state, always alert, always on edge.

"Lance....?" He flinched, barely managing to stop himself from firing the blaster, breathing in deep when he recognized that no danger was nearby. His voice sounded wrecked when he spoke.

" _Yeah_?"

"I...I'm going to hack the mainframe now, I'll need to have my hand here while the machine runs the scans and gives me access, so I won't be able to move for a bit." He looked at Keith from the corner of his eye, remembering the exchange, remembering the fluffy feeling of warmth in his chest when Keith trusted him to keep him safe.

Remembering the bloody rain and the loss and the pain when he failed to keep his promise, when he'd failed Keith.

"Watch my back?" It still carried the same hesitancy as the first time he'd said it, and it made Lance shudder and tear up, a whine and a sob fighting for release in his throat, disappearing when he gulped them down in favor of answering, saying what he should've the first time around.

"You know I _always_ will." He didn't miss the way Keith's face brightened at his words or the way his shoulders slumped, like the tension had been taken away, like a weight had been lifted. He received a nod as Keith quickly turned away, and he even thought he saw the corner of his mouth tilt up in the beginnings of a smile, but the angle wasn't right so he couldn't tell.

But when Keith turned away to begin hacking, he unconsciously turned on his sight, and watched as his aura burst into a myriad of colors, blazing and burning, sparkling and bright like he'd never seen before. And smile on his face or not, he could tell the red paladin was...happy, or at least content, embers and flames lapping at his body until he was fire itself, it's heat warming Lance's back even from where he stood.

He heard the distinctive beep of a process beginning, and knew that Keith had put his hand on the pad to disable security all throughout the planet. That fact only made him tense further, and his eyes remained trained on the door in front of him and the one to the right, trying to do a countdown inside his head.

But he couldn't know for sure if his timing was right, so he glanced from the corner of his eye at the console, and watched the bar hit twenty percent, then twenty-one and so forth.

The soldier was supposed to arrive when the count reached forty, he remembered seeing it when he approached Keith _before_ , a small, inconsequential image that he didn't process back then, but that appeared in his flashbacks like a beacon, like a warning, an alert to let him know when danger would strike.

_Twenty-nine._

Sweat poured down his temples and cheeks, but he refused to move from his position, feeling that if he didn't pay enough attention, if he didn't focus solely and wholeheartedly on his mission, he would have to pay a price he wasn't willing to.

_Thirty-three_

His breaths quickened and he blinked once, lashes wet and throat dry as he swallowed the vile rising from the pit of his stomach, knees shaking as shudders raked his body, blood feeling on fire in his veins while his skin felt ice-cold, shivers running down his spine.

_Thirty-seven_

Goosebumps rose all throughout his body, and he could hear his heartbeat like a drum in his ear, thumping loudly against his ribcage like a dreadful melody.

_Thirty-nine_

He hunched his body forward, finger on the trigger and eyes wide open, glaring at the door and daring it to open, ready to fire at the slightest movement or sound, no questions asked. He waited for the storm to unfold, for the frenzy of battle to arrive and adrenaline to pump through his bloodstream, emptying his mind of useless data and leaving only a _soldier_.

But it never came.

Only stillness and silence surrounded them, the steady beeping of the machine a constant sound, the only one all around. The bar reached sixty and yet nothing moved, nothing arrived, no doors opened and no Galran soldiers appeared.

He couldn't believe it was so easy, that such a small change was all he needed to make things right. It felt surreal, like that couldn't be it, like the other shoe had yet to drop.

But the moment passed and they were both alive, Keith was alive and tapping his foot impatiently, grumbling under his breath. He'd done it, he- he saved him.

He felt himself smile before he could stop it, and a relief so big it was overwhelming drenched him whole, his shoulders sagging and back bending as he curled in on himself, ready to scream at the top of his lungs in happiness. He took in a deep breath and turned around for a second, watching Keith's back and the small rise and fall of his shoulders as he fiddled with his belt, fingers playing with the pockets there to entertain himself.

Lance was trembling so hard and his body was so tense it was difficult to move, but the bar was reaching ninety now, and he couldn't wait for Keith to be able to leave the panel so he could launch himself at him and give him the biggest hug he'd ever received.

His arms were itching to do that, already reaching forward in anticipation.

The bar said ninety-eight.

He took one step forward, relieved giggles trying to leave his lips.

Ninety-nine.

_ No _

A word uttered in denial, dripping with malice and refusal boomed inside his mind. His world stopped moving, he froze and didn't remember how to breathe, paralyzed and terrified, unable to move for just a tick.

A tick that was enough to blind him, enough to catch the glimmer of metal from the corner of his eye a little too late, enough to leave him powerless as the charge of a laser gun was released...

Enough for the lions' quintessence to overpower that dark whisper and give him his voice back.

Enough for him to scream at the top of his lungs.

"Keith! Duck!" The red paladin did so without question, maybe hearing the panic in his voice, crouching as fast as he could and getting only a graze on the shoulder as result. But it still bled. The red flowed like a river down his arm and Lance felt a part of himself wither and die, a fear he knew so well taking hold of his heart and squeezing. Hard.

Keith's mouth was moving, his eyes were wide and frantic- but the words didn't reach Lance. He was enraptured by the blooming red flowers that dripped to the ground in a steady rhythm, his chest burning for some reason as the world blurred around him.

Keith's face became nothing but a fuzzy shape he couldn't distinguish, and everything around him seemed faded and blurry, out of focus. But through it all, the intense crimson stood out, vivid and clear and making him want to cry, confused- scared- _why_ -

"Lance! Move, _please_!" It was the plea in Keith's rough, screaming voice that brought him back, the world coming into focus with astounding clarity, crisp and defined.

He sucked in a deep breath, nearly choking, before diving to the floor and skidding to a halt next to his teammate, kneeling and trying to even his breathing, coughing up a storm. He hadn't noticed when he stopped getting in air, but it was obvious now he'd been suffocating in his panic, close to passing out if it hadn't been for the red paladin.

A tentative hand landed on his back, rubbing up and down comfortingly, and slowly, he calmed down and regained his senses, turning his head to look at Keith. And subsequently the wound on his shoulder, which kept on bleeding and gave him nausea and a near panic attack again.

"Keith! Shit, that looks bad, let me see-" The other shook his head, hand leaving Lance's back to reach his own shoulder, putting pressure there and pinning Lance with a concerned look.

"It's fine, it's not as bad as it looks. But what about you? Are _you_ okay?" He nodded, way too fast and too strong to be believable, but it stole a tiny smile from the red paladin, so it was okay. "Yeah, okay. On another note, we really need to take care of this Galra dude. Just how is he even-?" Lance tuned him out and looked over the control panel, catching sight of small ears atop a frizzly purple ponitail and slitted eyes- it was Ath.

He fell back down and tugged at his hair enough to hurt. "No, no, no! _Why_ is he here!?" Keith appeared in his line of vision, worried and pale- paler than he was on a normal day.

"Lance-? What-?" He looked Keith right in the eye, desperate, afraid.

"I swear I tied him up, Keith! The ropes were super tight! He couldn't have escaped, I made sure of it! I don't understand-" His teammate's hands held his own and brough them back down, expression tight but understanding, telling him in soft whispers to breathe, to slow down, it was _fine_.

"It's okay, Lance, it's not your fault. Who knows what kind of hidden weapons or tricks he had, we couldn't have seen this coming." Only that _he could've_ , he should have, he checked him for weapons and he had _none_. It was his mission to keep Keith safe, and he'd already failed. He only had to keep the soldier away and he couldn't even do that, _why_ -

"What we need to do now is think of a way to take him out, it seems like he only has a gun so it would be better for us to use long ranged attacks-" He gathered his wits and, remembering from memory the position, distance, and height the Galran had been in when he'd peeked before, he clutched his blaster and charged the shot, waiting for a laser beam to pass by his head and making use of that split second of reloading to lean over the console and fire.

The impact rang true, hitting home and leaving the soldier out of commission.

He didn't know if he was dead. He wasn't sure he wanted to know.

"That's....one way to do it." Keith's voice filled his ears and brough him a great amount of relief, some awe and pride carrying in the words he spoke. Lance reveled in the warmth of his aura, so close to him, and brushed away his regret for a later time, turning away with a sigh and crouching besides the red paladin, eyes fixated on his shoulder.

He bit his lip to keep his whimpers away, the red staining the other's armor making him flinch even as his hands reached to treat the wound, fingers trembling and breaths swallow.

"Let me- let me look at your shoulder. I need to- we need to take care of it now-" Keith shook his head and stood up, wobbling slightly before Lance could do anything about it.

"There's no time, I have to finish the hacking- the others are counting on us, Shiro-...Shiro and Matt are counting on us. Besides, it's not that bad, I told you, I'll wrap it up as soon as we're out of here." Ignoring the noises of denial coming from Lance's throat, Keith made his way to the control panel and put his hand on the pad again, resuming the process.

Lance breathed hard, staying on the floor with too many thoughts swirling in his mind, feeling overwhelmed and terrified, asking Black -even with the distance between them- about the whispers and only receiving a distressed rumble in response. He didn't understand, the wall was solid, nothing should be able to pass- but it did, and it scared Lance more than he'd like to admit.

He felt like something was crawling inside his brain slowly, painstakingly so, invading his mindscape bit by bit, one step at the time, until he was completely overtaken without even noticing. Echoes of its dark presence still remained, the feeling of refusal and opposition, the sensation of being watched at every second, waiting for a mistake, waiting for an opening-

A faint giggle brushed past his ear.

His head shot up, his wide eyes gazing upon nothing and then- A silver of metal on the corner of his eye- The muzzle of a laser-gun shining with an ominous light- The face of his friend as he turned and gasped- An aborted warning that didn't leave his lips in time-

The noise that echoed like malicious laughter as the shot was fired and then-

_Red._

It rained down, drenching both the control panel and him, droplets falling from his cheeks and to his lips.

He tasted iron.

He tasted salt.

He might've screamed, but he wasn't sure.

His mind was a thunderstorm, a hurricane. His thoughts kept swirling in indescribable patterns, and no coherent words or feelings or notions managed to form. He was but a carcass, an empty body filled with sorrow never known and a grief so deep it cut through reality, leaving him stranded in a world where the color red predominated, and the blood of his friend and his own misery was all he understood.

He was drowning in the never-ending echoes of the ' _why_ ', couldn't pinpoint the moment in time where he'd gone wrong, couldn't comprehend nothing before his eyes but the immobile figure of the one he'd sworn to protect. Pale. Still. Devoid of life.

His warmth frozen over by the cold hands of death

Hands that should have never reached him.

Hands that crawled over his own throat and suffocated him mercilessly-

Until a roar tore through the haze and the pain and the crimson, and his mind was wiped clean and stripped raw, leaving him hypersensitive and aware of everything-

Like the Galran soldier about to shoot him.

For a split second, he entertained the idea of not moving, to just end the pain.

But then, Blue and Red growled at him with a startling fierceness, and he forced his body to roll to the side, wiping up his blaster and firing towards Eoth, who sported the face of someone who'd just lost a person they held dear.

Lance felt sick.

But he still dodged and hid, breaths nothing but wheezes, body moving on autopilot, led by the tender and determined hands of the lions and their magic, the quintessence still running through his veins like molten lava. It was the only thing keeping him going.

"This is for my brother!" Eoth yelled, firing indiscriminately, some of the shots grazing Lance as he ducked behind machinery and jumped on walls, trying to get a clear shot- The gun stopped, he recognized the whirring sound as the one it made when it had to reload.

He ran from behind the computer and aimed like he always did, exactly at the same time that Eoth did, both guns about to fire, none of them willing to back down. The blasts released, the Galran didn't move, but Lance did, in a split second, just barely an inch, enough to let the shot graze him, taking advantage of the slight deviation those kinds of weapons had.

Eoth didn't have that insight, neither did he know about Altean weapons.

Lance's shot hit him right on the chest, above his heart. The silence was stifling, the moment stretching into eternity as nothing seemed to move, to breathe. And then the soldier dropped his weapon and glared hatefully at him for half a tick before crumpling to the floor like an unstrung puppet.

Lance followed suit.

His blaster lay forgotten by his side, his legs crumpling from under him just as the lion's magic seeped out of his body, leaving him drained and hollow, taking with it the blanket of emptiness and the momentary distraction that had kept him from breaking.

Reality crashed over him like a tidal wave. His eyes landed on Keith.

And then he was screaming anew.

"No! No-no-no-no _why_? I did- I did everything right! Why-?" A sob made him choke, and he wept as his breath escaped him, chest constricting with the heavy burden of his failure, comms screaming at him from where his helmet lay forgotten. He sought the fallen figure of his teammate, the world blurry through his tears, vision finally landing in red, focusing and seeing-

 _Keith_....

Keith was looking at him.

He was blinking.

A desperate whine escaped him, high and distressed, a cry out of his lips before he even registered he was moving, crawling on the floor on unsteady legs and trembling limbs, hope fueling his actions as he fought for balance, to be able to reach his friend-

His warmth wasn't totally gone.

He reached him and crumpled by his side, mindless of the blood that stained his armor, gently lifting his friend onto his lap and resting his head on his tights, looking into his eyes and the light that still remained, the fire that had dwindled to nothing but an ember.

"Keith-! _Keith_...!" He repeated his name like a plea, begging for him to stay awake, looking him over to try and discern the damage, find the wound so he could take care of it, keep him _alive_ -

Keith muttered what was supposed to be his name, but it came out as nothing but a gurgle, his breaths choked and wet, gasps becoming wheezes, frantic and swallow. Lance focused on his face and the way his eyes kept fluttering open and closed, skin ashen and half covered in red, dripping from his mouth and cheek to his neck and-

"No-" He croaked." No, nononono _please no-_ " There, on the right side of his neck, blood flowed steadily from a hole of charred flesh and broken skin and veins, its rhythm continuous, draining Keith of his life force, parlor pale enough that it almost became white, the light in his eyes as he glanced at Lance dimming at an alarming speed.

He screamed and put his hand against the wound, his heart hurting and chest squeezing at the pained sound that escaped from Keith's lips and the tears that fell from his eyes, leaving behind tracks that ran over the crimson staining his cheeks. His own eyes teared up at the whines and whimpers the red paladin let out, unable to talk, to breathe, choked by his own blood, the wound that had pierced arteries and blood vessels being too severe for him to treat.

It was already too late.

 _He_ was too late.

"No.....I'm sorry, I'm sorry, _I'm so sorry-_ " He bent down over his friend and cradled him close with fleeting touches and soft caresses, afraid of hurting him more if he held him with all the desperation and fierceness he held inside his chest. He held his breath in an attempt to swallow the tears, eyes closed while he felt Keith's weight in between his arms and the small movements of his broken body, the noises out of his lips making him wail.

Something shifted, and then hair tickled his nose and his collarbone became damp, a cold pressure resting there and making him open his eyes.

Keith had curled closer against his chest and nuzzled his neck, a tiny smile on his lips, tears still falling slowly down his cheeks. And he broke.

The sobs that had been stuck in his throat tore free with a heart wrenching cry, and his tears flowed uncontrolled, breath hitching and hiccups choking him as he wept, devoid of any emotion that wasn't grief or desperation or anguish.

He carded his fingers through midnight hair and whispered sweet nothings into Keith's ear, holding him closer, as if he could share his warmth and vanish the cold that was slowly overtaking his body, as if he could battle that way the incoming call of death that he knew was inevitable.

He leaned away slightly and looked at his friend- his teammate- his family. His eyes were half lidded and glazed over, still stubbornly looking up at Lance, cheeks devoid of that rosy color that always made him look healthy and warm, replaced instead by an intense red that rivaled the one of his armor, turning an unsightly black as the blood slowly dried.

Their eyes met, and Lance could do nothing but apologize over and over again, unwilling to let go of his friend until his las breath had left him, until the inevitable moment came, the one he was supposed to stop, but couldn't.

"I'm s-sorry Keith....I'm so sorry, I- I tried so hard but- I failed you... _I'm sorry_ -" He choked on his breath and coughed, refusing to close his eyes even for a tick, watching as Keith smiled ever so slightly, mouth opening to speak what he knew would be his last words.

"S'o-ay....I...k-...ow..." His voice was filled with remorse, fear and sadness, but also a kind of happiness and relief that he couldn't understand, the emotion overwhelming even though it was nothing but an echo of a whole, a mirror image of something bigger.

Keith nestled closer to Lance's body, seeking his warmth, eyes now closed and chest stuttering with shallow breaths, the movements slowing down until they were almost imperceptible.

And he could do nothing but watch.

Watch, and drown in Red's screams and the subsequent sorrow and grief that assaulted his senses, her tears and pain that he felt like his own, clutching Keith with all his might so he knew he wasn't alone, so he wasn't scared, comforting him like he'd done for Lance that one time, pouring all his love and affection in a last embrace.

"I-I'ts okay, I'm here I- I've got you....I...I've got you...." The tension in Keith's shoulders left and his body slumped, completely boneless, the choked breaths against Lance's neck disappearing completely, the beating of his heart that he'd heard thumping against his own until now coming to a stop, leaving him in complete silence, alone.

The embers of Keith's quintessence became ashes and scattered in the wind, and the last remnants of his life fluttered away to become space dust, a star, brighter than any other, burning with the same fire that had once ignited a passionate heart.

He looked at his face, peaceful and still, looking almost like he was only sleeping, bangs falling over his face like the night sky, contrasting strikingly with the porcelain-like semblance of his features.

Lance still held him tightly between his arms, afraid to let go, crying and whispering words of denial and reassurance. If they were for Keith or himself, he didn't know, but even as his voice broke and his throat bled raw, he didn't stop talking, lest he suffocated in the maelstrom of grief assaulting him on all sides.

His own was already tearing his heart apart.

But Red hadn't stopped weeping, Yellow and Green were howling in anger and fear while Black tried to keep the wall from crumbling under the pressure from the other side, a force to be reckoned with that they didn't know how to battle, that they didn't understand yet.

And Blue...oh, his blue was pleading to him continuously in a disembodied voice, full of sorrow and distress, carrying the weight of his decisions and the pain they shared through their bond, understanding better than anyone else how his mind worked, what he was going to do.

He could only apologize to her and hope she would forgive him. He didn't have a choice.

Keith couldn't die.

He wouldn't allow it. He refused.

That wasn't a future he was willing to live through.

He had a feeling deep within his gut that this wasn't meant to happen. It could be because of the shadows that slithered inside his mind and whispered malicious thoughts and fates in his ear, or the memories of wretched souls asking something out of him that he couldn't remember.

Or maybe the tainted, sinister words that seemed to echo like the tick of a countdown every time death approached him or his friend, freezing his blood and his world with a control that no one should have over him.

It wasn't normal.

This wasn't okay.

But he couldn't focus on it right now, his priority was the red paladin, always. Family came first, he had to make things right.

He sneaked a hand behind Keith's knees and his back, holding him tightly to his chest as he stood up, wobbling as the world seemed to tilt and nausea rose in his throat, like acid burning his lungs. His vision wavered from both tears and dizziness, but he refused to fall, the weight in his arms grounding him, anchoring him to reality, reminding him that he had something to do.

He'd made a mistake this time. And even thought he didn't know exactly what it'd been, it wouldn't happen again. He wouldn't allow it.

Heaving for breath and sparing a quick look at the Galran brothers, he walked all the way back until he was outside of the base, no drones or sentries in sight, all of them busy with a fight that was supposed to lead to the liberation of the planet, and it's destruction.

But it couldn't happen. Not yet. Not until he'd pried Keith away from death's hands.

_He wouldn't fail again. He couldn't._

"I'm so sorry....I-I know I haven't done anything but apologize, but-....I didn't see it coming, I don't understand why they were here....Ath couldn't call anyone this time, so why- why couldn't I save you..." His voice broke, eyes watering again, never having stopped in the first place. He couldn't understand where he'd gone wrong, he'd made sure that no transmissions were sent, that no one was aware of their sneak in.

So why....

He passed by the entrance door and stopped, hiccups making him jump as his breath hitched, joints and muscles aching from carrying Keith, arms burning with the strain. But he was unwilling to leave him behind, he didn't deserve it, any of it.

He saw the tree to which he'd bound Ath to, and his gut -sounding strangely like Blue- told him to approach, to see if he'd been careless in his mission, if it was all his fault in the end because he hadn't paid enough attention to his surroundings and hadn't taken into account every variable and possibility.

He arrived at the tree and glared at the broken ropes, clenching his teeth so hard it hurt his jaw, self-hate and disgust making his skin crawl until- until he saw a communicator at the foot of the tree, brand new and still working, a screen flashing in a purple light with a message.

That wasn't possible, it couldn't be from Ath, he'd been very thorough when he'd searched him, he'd been cut off from everyone so what-

He crouched down, mindful of Keith's body, and reached towards the device, focusing on the flashing screen for a few seconds until the words registered in his mind -courtesy of the translator Pidge had built ages ago-, clutching the piece of technology in a grip so tight his knuckles turned white.

_**Message from Eoth > Ath:** _

_(04d07t) - Hey, Ath, you there? I just deployed on my ship, I wanted to know how it was going on your side. Any news?_

(04d08t) - Message sent.

_(07d15t) - No answer? I really hope you're not sleeping on the job. Because if so, you're going to get a nasty wake-up call in the next few doboshes._

_(07d28t) - I actually left my identification card on the control room, so I'm going to return to fetch it and then go back to the fight. I just hope Lord Zarkon never hears of this. The humiliation would do me in._

(07d29t) - Messages sent.

_(10d24t) - Okay, what is it with this radio silence? Do not tell me you turned off you communicator's notifications again, because if that is the case...._

(10d25t) - Unable to send message. Number 00078342 unreachable. Retry?

_(10d40t) - What...? Ath? You there? If you do not answer me in the next dobosh I am going to be so angry. How many times have I told you to keep your comms open?_

_(10d50t) - Nevermind. I'm going back. I hope you are ready for a lecture after this is over. If you read this -whenever that is- remember to keep the line open, soldier. Fulfill your duty._

(10d41t) - Unable to send message. Number 00078342 unreachable. Retry?

The messages ended there, and suddenly, Lance had an epiphany, or more like, an understanding, really. And it made him so mad he accidentally broke the communicator, the pieces raining over him and Keith like stardust, shining bright under the pink star in the sky.

Both the first time and now, Eoth hadn't come back because his brother had contacted him -as he'd assumed- the only reason he'd returned to the base was because he'd left behind an important item in his hurry to join the fight, and it was imperative he retrieved it. Ath had never contacted him in the first place, asking for reinforcements.

The first time, _before_ , he'd been dead, actually dead.

He hadn't contacted his brother because he _didn't have the time to do so_. He'd probably crawled over the path, intent on doing that, but he'd passed away before he'd reached his goal, and then Eoth had come to get his card back, and he'd found his brother's corpse, and then he'd killed Keith in revenge.

This time was no different. Ath didn't have a way to contact anyone, Eoth had come on his own, probably found his brother tied to that tree somehow, and freed him as both of them made up a plan to take both him and Keith out.

...

This was all his fault.

He'd made the mistake of reaching conclusions and making assumptions based in half-formed theories and misinformation, he'd made up a plan without having all the pieces he'd needed, too stricken by grief to delve deeper into the ' _whys_ ' and the ' _hows_ '.

And now Keith was paying the price for his incompetence.

 _Again_.

 _God_.

He curled over Keith's body, clutching him close to his chest, resting his chin on dark locks, soft as silk, as tears of regret and frustration fell down his soot-stained cheeks with renewed force.

If only just- if only he'd had been more focused, if only-

A growl interrupted his downward spiral of self-deprecation, Red's howls and desperate thoughts filling his mind, an image of Keith's smile becoming blurry through his frustrated tears, the expression making his chest hurt and choke on his breaths.

It was painful looking at it, but he understood what Red wanted, what she meant.

It wasn't over.

As long as Lance was alive, there was still hope, and although Red loathed to have to ask him to do this sacrifice, even though it broke both her and Blue and filled the other lions with sorrow and an ache to protect that they couldn't follow through, he was the only one who could save Keith from his fate.

And by the gods he was going to do it.

 _'It's okay, I know.....I know. I won't let him down, not again. This time...I will save him, I won't make the same mistake twice.....I'm sorry I failed him, Red...._ ' Her presence intertwined with his own, a feeling akin to Red shaking her head flowing through their bond, reassurances and apologies swirling in his mind as the fire of her aura cradled both Keith and himself with heartbreaking tenderness, her touches fleeting and soft as she wept over her child, her paladin, wishing nothing more than to see his smile once more.

"Don't worry, it's okay, it's....it's fine, I'll make things right, you'll see...." He stood up, his calves burning with the effort, limbs screaming for relief that he would not grant them, the person in his arms too precious to leave behind, too important. He refused to let go of him, uncaring of what happened to his body, seeing as it wasn't going to matter in a few minutes.

He walked the path back towards the cliff, knowing that he was unable to end his life any other way, that he would hesitate if it was something he could control, something that depended on _him_.

The landscape was as beautiful as he remembered, the flowers in bloom and the greenery thriving in that small patch of land, the line where the sky met the ground shining like a beacon of hope, a thread that would take him to a brighter tomorrow.

He crouched down besides the same tree than _before_ , reclining Keith against it with careful movements, afraid to break him further with his hands; hands that were incapable of saving, hands that only knew how to hurt. Blood-soaked hands that couldn't reach the light, couldn't reach Keith in time to bring him back from the darkness that always stole him away from Lance.

He brushed away the strands of ebony from his porcelain skin, tucking them behind his ear and holding back the cries that always waited on the back of his throat, ready to become full-blown sobs if he so much as dropped his guard for a tick. He couldn't afford the luxury of crying anymore, his despair and grief mattered none, neither his hurt nor his pain.

The only thing that mattered was the boy before him, and lighting up the flame inside his chest once more, despite everything, despite the pain and the fear and the uncertainty.

Only Lance could save his friend, and he would be damned if he failed again.

He brushed away a droplet of blood from Keith's cheek, and, much like the first time, body moving on it's own accord, he pressed a soft kiss on his forehead, like a promise, like a vow, the fleeting contact giving him the determination he needed to go forth.

He held his hand one last time and squeezed, taking a deep breath and deciding that he wasn't going to hesitate like _before_ , he wasn't going to allow fear and doubt to slow down his steps, he didn't have that luxury, didn't want to wait so long.

So he opened his eyes, let go of the pliant hand that lacked it's usual warmth, and without even turning his head, without a breath or a tick to understand the images around him, he ran as fast as his legs would carry him, fists clenched and teeth biting through his lip. And when he reached the edge and the void welcomed him-

He jumped.

His body turned around with the speed he'd achieved, and he fell while gazing at the beautiful sky, bathed pink by the light of it's star as petals rained over him like a tribute to his sacrifice.

The impact hurt more than last time, and he heard his bones cracking in tandem with his screams before darkness enveloped his senses, and the pink sky dimmed to nothing but a pinprick.

The petals fell after him, floating with the breeze.

He was out before they even touched his broken body.

\--

The gasp that left his throat as he woke up was followed by vile and a nausea so strong he had to lean over the edge of his bed to retch, eyes burning and chest constricting with every heaving breath, muscles straining with the effort .

The images of _before_ kept passing by his eyes like a slideshow, reminding him how powerless he'd been to stop it, of the duty he failed to accomplish and the pain Keith had to endure because of him, because of his mistakes.

Dark tendrils and ominous shadows kept lurking on the edge of his mind, just behind Black's wall, pushing against the barrier with a malicious intent he couldn't understand. The wall quivered under the pressure it kept at bay, but it held strong, Black's quintessence reinforcing it's magic and silencing the mutters that seeped through the fissures, their words distorted and shrill as they faded away.

His ears kept ringing with the echoes of Keith's screams and his own, mingling with the sound of gunfire and the smell of blood, the fateful moment in which the gun loaded and his body stopped moving, his hand reaching forward in a futile attempt to stop what he knew he was already too late to prevent.

His eyes filled with tears as the image of Keith, curled up against his chest with a small smile on his lips and nuzzling his neck as whatever warmth his aura had left cradled Lance in something akin to an embrace, stood vividly against any other memory, strikingly beautiful and heartbreaking, making his chest hurt.

He fell to his knees, raking his nails against the metal floors and trying to breathe, his throat closed off as sobs ad whimpers prevented any air from reaching his lungs. He could still feel the fragile weight of his teammate in his arms, his broken body smearing red all over his armor, his words choked in his last moments while he tried to reassure Lance that it was okay.

Abruptly as they came, the memories stopped. And like his strings had been cut, he fell from his knees to the floor in a heap, heaving for breath and struggling to open his eyes, which felt sewn shut by the pressure of the images that had passed by, an unbidden fear preventing his body from working like it should.

He curled into a ball and tried to ignore the ache in his muscles and the vertigo that came from reminiscing his fall, the world around him tilting out of it's axis and making it impossible for him to find his balance. He was so dizzy, it was impossible to will the nausea away.

He couldn't move his arms away from where they lay curled against his chest, above his rapid-beating heart, and his legs wouldn't respond either, cramped and burning, as if mirroring his condition from _before_ , a phantom pain of strained joints and aching calves.

It felt like he'd swallowed lava, his mouth dry and hot, spewing nothing but half-formed cries and muttered curses, his breathing slowly returning to normal as he basked in the kaleidoscope of colors that tried to calm him down.

Red was a comforting hand and Blue was a cradle, Yellow and Green were a soothing melody, and Black was the endless ocean that washed his fears away and kept him safe, slowly reigning in the crashing waves and leaving calm waters in it's wake.

He listened to their voices and let their quintessence and unwavering presences stabilize his mind, his limbs becoming loose and pliant and the tightness in his chest vanishing in a matter of minutes- or what felt like minutes to him, at least. He couldn't remember how long he'd lay on the floor, unmoving, crushed by the pain of his failure and the grief.

But it finally felt like he could open his eyes, so he slowly did so, thanking Altean technology for it's dim lights that didn't hurt his vision when he blinked and glanced at the ceiling, everything blurry for a tick before coming into focus.

He looked to his left and saw his bed -that he'd fallen from- and heaved a sigh of relief even when he knew -deep down- that he'd come back. But there was always the nagging doubt on the back of his mind that it wouldn't work, that he wouldn't open his eyes and his endeavor would be cut short, leaving his friend without a chance, without a future, and Lance stuck into some kind of....limbo between worlds, unable to ever return.

It was something he feared even more than death itself, now that he knew Keith's life was in his hands, but even before that, there hadn't been a single moment when he hadn't been alight with dread everytime he got hurt, wondering if he would wake up again, or if it was the last time he would get to see his family smile.

It was terrifying.

He was scared of dying.

But he was even more scared of his family -the people he most cared for- dying.

And when given the chance to save them at the cost of his own life- there was no choice at all, that decision had been made since the day he'd began to think of them as _family_.

He inhaled as deep as he could and willed those dark thoughts away, setting them aside for a time when he could actually deal with them -like he'd promised Black- craning his neck back to glance at the clock, noticing that it was close to the time where Allura would call them down to the control room.

He would have to watch Pidge and Keith suffer again, Shiro and Matt fight for their lives as those that they loved cried tears for their fate, for their pain. It was unfair.

He didn't think he could deal with that again. But it had gone well last time, he would just have to repeat his actions, like following a script, with the only difference that this time around he had to rethink his plan.

 _'God...what do I do? I need to take care of Ath, but then his brother will come, and I can't leave Keith alone in case something goes wrong...how do I make sure he doesn't follow us? How do I keep them away?'_ He tugged on his hair and rested his forehead on his knees, thinking and thinking, looking for ways to solve this situation in the best way possible.

He didn't want to admit that killing them was the easiest solution. He wanted to believe that another path existed, if only to spare himself and Keith the guilt and carrying the weight that taking a life meant. Maybe it made him a coward, maybe he was naive, but he refused to kill unless it was absolutely necessary, even if those Galrans' fate was already set in stone anyway.

He took in a shaky breath and trembled as the comms filled with static, Allura's voice asking everyone to join her in the control room. He still didn't have a solid plan, he'd ran out of time.

He would have to make do.

Third time's the charm. Or so they say.

He couldn't afford another negligence, he wasn't sure his heart would be able to take it.

He walked the path towards his family with a heavy heart, and tried with all his might not to cry when he saw Keith resting on the far wall as usual. If anyone saw how wet his eyes were, they just passed it off as sorrow for his captured teammates.

He didn't bother correcting them.

\--

This time, as he flew the pod alongside Keith, he kept completely silent, his mind too shaken and off-balance to make any kind of comment or input that was not ' _Yes_ ', ' _no_ ' or ' _agreed_ '. Keith, of course, took notice of his demeanor, and tried to instigate conversation, but it was obvious Lance wasn't up for it, and with the red paladin still awkward with their misunderstanding and residual anger hanging in the air, he quickly ceased in his effort and returned to the task of flying.

He, for the most part, didn't take much notice of those events besides the obvious parts, he was too tense and worried, feeling like he had a countdown above his head that he had to race against, and he couldn't brush away the dreadful feeling that he was _losing_.

Inside his mindscape, the echoes of the lions' reassurances painted the land with color, and the residual warmth of their quintessence told him he wasn't alone, and offered him courage and the push he needed to go forth and fight for his friend and the world he wanted.

Black's warnings stayed with him all throughout the journey and as he landed, the fact that something was _really wrong_ and it needed to be solved, that the walls he'd put up wouldn't last forever, and even his powers weren't enough to completely contain the force lurking on the other side.

_He knew that._

He knew and he was scared and just thinking about it made his skin crawl.

But he couldn't worry about that right now. Not when Keith needed him, not when he was responsible for his life and his future. He had to focus on _him_ , his own problems could wait, this was far more important than solving the mystery of his godforsaken abilities.

_He was fine, he could wait._

Or that's what he told himself, at least.

Red's fire burnt bright inside of him, her warmth melting the cold in his veins and vanishing the chills raking down his spine, limbs trembling with dread and a fear so intense it didn't resemble any other kind he'd ever felt. He was accustomed to his own suffering, to fear for his own life and to deal with the aftermath and cope in his own way.

He wasn't ready to watch his family being torn to pieces right before his very eyes, however, and deal with the fallout and the crushing weight of the responsibility that befell him after, knowing he was solely responsible for someone's fate. As if it was his choice, as I he had any right to decide at all.

But he was hypocritical like that because _he did choose._

He chose that Keith had to live, and there was no possible future in which he would allow the world to continue moving without him. It was unthinkable and he _refused_ to let it happen, to even acknowledge it as a possibility. He was needed, he was irreplaceable, but more important, he was someone Lance held dear, a part of his world. And he refused to let him go.

Not on his watch, at least.

Shaking his head to rid himself of unwanted thoughts, he exited the pod, blaster in hand, and waited for Keith to do the same, wondering if it was a good idea to scout ahead and take the soldiers by surprise or if that was too reckless. But he was kind of panicking okay? He didn't have time to come up with a plan or ponder what the best course of action was, and he was running out of time.

His heartbeat pounded against his chest with anticipation ridden with anxiety, and he felt like his hands were sweating under his gloves with nerves and a fear he refused to acknowledge. His comms were quiet, not having arrived yet to the point were Pidge's whoops and yells of vengeance would fill his ears, the rest of his teammates berating her for it in badly-concealed amusement.

He decided that muting them was a good idea. Less distractions.

But the silence did nothing to help his restless state, it made him hear things that weren't there, made the whispers inside his mind seem closer than before, louder, as if he could hear what they were saying if he strained his ears. But he didn't want to know.

He was terrified to find out.

And he still didn't know _what to do._

Should he knock both galrans out as they exited the base? That would be for the best, right? That way he would know where both of them were, and they wouldn't be able to contact anyone, what with being bound and unconscious. He would destroy their tranmissors and everything would go smoothly, no problems in sight......except...

Except the base would be swarming with droids and sentries, soldiers, and a security too tight to avoid. Eoth was the one in charge of central command, he was the one that vacated the premises when the alarm rang through, taking everyone with him to fight the rest of the paladins.

The point of Pidge and the others going in in broad daylight was precisely so Lance and Keith could sneak in when security was low, the green paladin had made calculations, and it was practically impossible to pass by unnoticed with the base at full capacity.

Could he risk it? If he attacked both of them....he and Keith would have to evade many dangers and risk blowing their cover, and in the event that they were discovered, there was the possibility of the base going on lockdown, making them unable to interact with the systems and being trapped inside to boot.

He knew some of the security measures would be deactivated when the alarm did go off, but would it be enough? Could he take that chance?

God, why did this have to be so difficult? What _could_ he do?

He was about ready to tear his hair off in frustration and distress, and he could feel the beginning of tears in the corner of his eyes, his breaths laboured and making the inside of his helmet fog up. He was so mesmerized by the white sheen that seemed to sparkle pink that he didn't notice when someone approached and tapped his shoulder, making him squeak and turn around with a start, arms shaking as he held up his weapon.

"Lance....calm down, it's just me." Keith backed away and raised his hands in a placating manner, looking worried. Just the sound of his voice made Lance want to cry, and his shoulder burnt from where Keith's aura had coiled around it, comfortingly warm, the sensation almost nostalgic and making him revel in the familiarity of it.

"Sorry....sorry. You....I was lost in thought. Sorry." Keith nodded, but the frown on his brow didn't abate, neither did the pursue of his lips or the concern in his eyes. He didn't press the matter further, though, chosing instead to walk ahead, motioning for Lance to follow. Which was unnecessary, really, since he wouldn't take his eyes off the red paladin anyway.

His feet felt like lead as they traversed the small path towards their destination, and Lance couldn't help but feel like a man going towards the gallows, the noose already around his neck, tightening with each step and waiting for him to reach the right place and snap.

Let him fall, break him in half.

His neck felt tight and he couldn't breathe, so the analogy wasn't that far off. He was suffocating with the pressure of his knowledge and the burden he carried. And it was _horrible_.

The rocks under his boots made a crunching noise with each footstep, a welcoming distraction from the shrouding silence that made his paranoia act up. He tried to focus on the small creaks and the sound of yellow gravel moving around, and found comfort on the small environmental noises that his enhanced hearing picked up; the rusting of leaves, the breeze through the canopy of trees, the skirting of small lizard-like creatures under the sand, and Keith's heartbeat as it thrummed against his ribcage.

Strong. Alive. Familiar.

They arrived at the base before he even noticed, and then the dread and panic were back full force, and any noises that had previously put him at ease were now overwhelmed by a constant ringing in his ears that terrified him, made his blood run cold.

He crouched besides Keith and the ringing eventually subsided, being replaced by his swallow wheezes and short inhales, cold sweat on his brow.

Panic attack, then. No dark entities at play here.

Great. _Fantastic_.

He could feel Keith watching him from the corner of his eye, probably wondering why he was such a mess. He hoped he never found out. He bit his lip and stopped breathing for a tick, then inhaled as deep as he could and released it, following a rhythm, counting each one until he felt like his lungs weren't going to burst anymore.

And then the doors opened and the Galran brothers strided out, looking cheerful and calm, without a care in the world. He couldn't help the bitterness that rose in his throat at the sight of them, the taste like ash on his mouth, making negative and unpleasant emotions surface within his mind.

His hand tightened on the blaster and, for a moment, he entertained the idea of just....firing and getting it over with, consequences be damned.

He knew it was the pain and the fear talking, but his finger still pressed on the trigger and his body tensed, ready to move forward, eyes wide, laser focused on his prey. He thought he had stopped himself from going through with his impulses, that he'd held them back. It wasn't until Keith's hand landed on his shoulder and tugged him backwards that he realized he'd been about to do it.

Actually do it.

He'd been ready to straight up murder them while he wasn't completely aware, his mind blank and filled only with Keith's screams and whimpers, his blood and his sorrowful smile as he faded before his eyes. His anger and terror had taken over for a second, and he'd been about to betray everything he believed in, about to do something he would've regretted forever.

God. He was shaking like a leaf.

"Lance-" Keith hissed in a half-whispered mutter, his tone both angry and confused. " What do you think you're doing? You nearly blew our cover-" He turned around and bowed his head, feeling like he was going to be sick, like he wasn't in control of his own body anymore.

It was.....scary.

"Sorry, sorry....I thought....." He struggled for something to say, an excuse, a way out. "I thought we could knock them out and...maybe....take one of them with us? I'm sure they know their way in and through the base like the back of their hand and-" He stopped, an idea forming in his head. Risky and last minute and rushed but- he had nothing else, and it was the only other option besides killing that he could think of.

"They probably know all about the security and stuff inside - he whispered- if we take one with us as a guide, we will make it to the control room super fast, and avoid any cameras or bots still around, ensuring that we don't get discovered." Keith looked him in the eye, seeming to ponder over his words, spilling from his lips at an unhearty speed, directly from his brain to his mouth with no filter whatsoever.

"We really don't have time to wander around....and the quicker we help the others the better...." Keith said more to himself than anything, but Lance still heard." But I don't think they'll be willing to cooperate with us...you know how Galra are." Lance steeled his stance and pinned Keith with his most determined gaze, finally having something to work towards, a goal, something to aim to. A _chance_.

"Oh, leave that part to me. I'll make them _willing_." Keith's eyes widened, and he could feel the concern spiking at his words when the red paladin released a sigh, clutching his bayard and looking to the ground before nodding his head.

"Okay. I'm....trusting you on this, Lance." The _'Don't let me down_ ' went unsaid, but Lance felt it in his bones and the blood pumping through his veins. This wasn't the best idea he'd ever had, but it fulfilled the purpose of Eoth taking away most soldiers with him and Lance being aware of the Galran's position- one of them, at least. And when the brother came back....well....Lance would have a _hostage_ ready to trade for their escape.

It wasn't a tactic he liked, and surely not one fitted for a Paladin of Voltron, Defender or the Universe. But honestly? He couldn't care less. It may be low and dirty, but if it ensured the survival of his teammate? It was okay in his book. And even more okay when he was running out of options and anything short of a victory was... _unacceptable_.

He hummed in response to Keith and focused his gaze on the soldiers just as the alarm rang through, muting their conversation while Lance prepared his ambush. Eoth ran in and disappeared, and five minutes later, pods and fighters and ships left the complex, and he knew it was his time to strike.

He set his blaster to low and waited until Ath was giving him his back- and then he mercilessly fired, maybe three shots too many, maybe five. He couldn't deny he wanted a bit of payback for all the heartache he'd gone through, even when he knew it would amount to nothing since he was the only one who remembered.

But it still felt freeing. Relieving.

Ath fell and twitched like he was seizing, and Lance took the opportunity to search for his communicator and trash it, smiling in satisfaction as it shattered in pieces, useless. He also bound the Galran with the rope he had -reinforced so even a soldier would have a hard time breaking it- and rid him of all weaponry, armor, or anything that seemed remotely usable to fight back, escape, or otherwise be an annoyance or a threat.

Keith appeared besides him a tick later, giving his approval with a soundless nod.

"Can you take it from here?" Keith asked, wonder and unrest in equal measure in his tone.

"Yeah, no prob. You scout ahead -but not too much- while I make sure our friend here is going to be all nice and supportive. _Hmmm?"_ The red paladin rose an eyebrow, looking at him strangely before walking ahead, bayard in hand. Lance heaved a sigh of relief. It would have been weird trying to explain just how exactly he was going to convince the soldier to offer his ' _assistance_ '.

He knew things he shouldn't, after all. And he was going to use them to his full advantage.

He crouched down and held Ath's bound hands, forcing him to stand up, the other still visibly dizzy and twitchy, spasms raking his body. He couldn't seem to focus his eyes on a single point, but Lance made it so he was the only things he could look at, and soon, his yellow eyes were glaring daggers at Lance, teeth bared like a predator that felt threatened.

 _Good_.

"So...my small Galran friend...you find yourself in quite the predicament, don't you?" The other literally hissed at him, growling like a beast, eyes hateful.

" _Paladin_ -the word was spit out like a curse- what do you want? Torture is useless, no words will leave my lips and I will rather die than offer any kind of information or aid."

"It's honorable to meet death for our Emperor and our cause, and I rather find my fate than betray my lineage. Know that your death was determined as soon as you decided to oppose the Galran Empire and our Lord, Zarkon, and curse the day you thought Voltron could win." Was that like, a thing they had rehearsed? A script to follow in case of capture? Because it surely felt like it. Like read from the back of a cereal box, words unfeeling and tone deadpan, like he was reciting a recipe for soup and not his ideals and beliefs.

Unsettling, really.

And Lance would have been worried otherwise, had he not held an ace up his sleeve. He could see Ath was steel and fire, just like any other soldier fighting for Galra, _Vrepit sa_ and all that. But he also saw the slight tremor of his hands that had nothing to with the previous electric shock, the sweat on his brow and the pinch of his lips, the way his eyes wouldn't meet Lance's and how he was trying to even his breathing.

Ath was nervous, and he was trying to mask it to the best of his ability. Lance would have been fooled if he wasn't actively looking for the reactions he knew meant fear or distress. But he was, and he found what he'd been searching for and even more.

"That's good and all but, _Ath_ -he heard a sharp intake of breath- you wouldn't want your dear older brother to...suffer because of you, would you?" Ath rose his head and pinned Lance with a look that was supposed to be hateful, but transmitted nothing but worry and unease.

"My teammates and I managed to intercept him as he was leaving, putting his ship on autopilot and all- Lance blew at his glove-covered nails, trying to sound nonchalant- and we kindly asked for his assistance. But he was...reticent to do so, and when he found himself cornered he resorted to...drastic measures, and now he's unconscious and tied up in a location only _we_ know." He could pinpoint the exact moment Ath began to panic, his heart rate going up as his body became rigid, stone cold and tense.

"It would be really easy for me to, oh I don't know, go back there and _swiftly_ _blow his brains out_ -" Lance snapped, feeling all his pent up anger flaring for a split second, tired of the memories that hurt more than any wound ever could."- and leave a nice present there for you to find out later. If you remain alive, that is." Ath didn't move, he didn't even think he was breathing as Lance used his weakness against him.

He was hesitating, he was breaking, withering under the pressure and the affection he held for his brother, Lance could feel it, he just had to hold on a little more-

"You lie." The Galran hissed through his teeth. "You wouldn't dare, you ar a Paladin-"

_Got him._

"That I am. But don't think for even a second that I would hesitate to end you to protect what matters to me. I don't have time to play games, Ath, and neither does Eoth. Make your choice, and be sure you don't regret it." He barked, losing his patience as he watched Keith's back retreat, feeling like he was going away to a place where Lance couldn't follow.

He refused to kill, but he never said he couldn't lie through his teeth. He didn't care just how cruel he could be, and refused to acknowledge the heavy guilt and disgust that rose as he threatened Ath with the very same thing Lance had sworn to protect; _family_.

He just didn't have the time to deal with all of it right now, not his hypocrisy, neither his self-hate and revulsion. He loathed the him of right now, the one that manipulated and tricked, but he was ready to deal with the fallout if it meant waking up to a new day with Keith alive by their side.

So he swallowed down any kind of doubt and emotion that was not resolve, and glared at Ath with impatience, trying to be as intimidating as he could. The Galran was looking around as if searching for a way out, an escape.

Lance would give him none.

"C'mon, why do you hesitate? Just say the word, say no, and it's over. It shouldn't matter that he's your brother anyway, or that he covers for you when you fall asleep, right? It's an honor. You fight for Galra, and die for Galra, _Vrepit sa_ , no?" Ath's eyes widened and then dimmed astoundingly fast, he lowered his head and trembled.

Lance could feel the exact moment his resolve broke and he gave in, but he felt no satisfaction from it, he only felt hollow.

"Very well. As long as you promise that no harm will come to Eoth I- I will aid you through the base." His voice held an undertone of vulnerability that made it seem like he was going to cry, and Lance himself wasn't all that far off, hating every word that came out of his mouth.

"Great! That's what I wanted to hear. You don't have to worry about your brother. Paladins, at least, keep their word." A snarl was his only answer, and he quickly pushed Ath forward and towards Keith, who stood before the door with an unsure expression that did nothing to diminish the ferocity shining in his eyes.

"All green?" Keith asked, bayard still in hand and distrustful eyes on the soldier.

"All green. Let's go." And off they went. Their trek through the base went incredibly smooth this time around, no cameras caught sight of them and they had to fight no one, everything silent save Ath's instructions -that looked like they pained him everytime he spoke out- and the sound of their footsteps. They made it to the control room in record time.

"I'm going to being the hacking. I won't be able to move for a while...." Keith said, voice soft and holding the same doubt as the times _before_ , fidgeting with his knife and not looking him in the eye. "Watch my back...?" Lance shuddered and breathed as deep as his lungs would allow, feeling a fresh wave of tears brimming behind his closed eyelids, screaming to be let free.

He refused.

"Of course. _Always_." His voice came out wrecked and raspy, on the verge of a sob. Keith looked up and smiled, wobbly and tremulous, relief shining in his eyes as he turned away, trusting Lance to keep him safe.

And by god he was ready to do that, he had asked Ath for every ambush location and doors, vents or walkways on the room, and he had put himself in a position where he could, not only protect Keith, but keep an eye on everything and fire away if he needed to, Ath held before him like a shield.

It might have been playing dirty, but at this point, he didn't care.

He stayed rooted to the spot, asking Keith about the progress on the hacking every now and then, the red paladin answering with percentages, completely focused on his task. There was no noise around them but the steady beeping and faint humming of the machines, and Lance was aware of his own breathing far more than he'd like.

Something rattled in the distance, and he tensed and rose his weapon, ready to fire. But the noise never approached, and only worked to skyrocket his anxiety to unhearted levels. Nothing seemed to move, the hacking continued unbothered, but Lance had the nagging feeling, a rumble on the back of his head akin to the lions', that signaled the brewing of a storm, intent on breaking over them with reckless abandon.

Only, this time he was ready for it, waiting for it, actually. He wouldn't make the same mistake twice.

So, when a wall began creaking in his peripheral and smoke began seeping in, he didn't panic, didn't scream or run or let his thoughts get away from him. No. Instead, he faced that way with Ath clutched close to his body, and raised his blaster so the muzzle was right by his temple, the action making him sick even when he knew it was a necessary part of his plan.

The wall exploded and Eoth came striding out, looking frazzled and armed to hell and back, expression tight and grave as he looked around, possibly expecting a bigger entourage instead of two paladins and an empty room. He didn't seem to know where to focus his attention, eventually aiming his laser-gun at Keith, who didn't move from his position, side-glancing Lance as he awaited for the events to unfold.

Lance wasted no time in informing Eoth of the situation.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you." He told the Galran, watching as his eyes finally focused on Ath, who trembled slightly against him, shame dripping from his voice as he muttered a string of words that meant nothing to him.

The translator still failed sometimes, he should tell Pidge after so she could fix it.

"Brother...." Ath said, voice tight and emotions doing somersaults, Lance barely catching half of them as they came- _distress-relief-shame-dread-content-fear_ \- the latter he couldn't understand, or more like, he didn't want to.

If he thought of them as people instead of enemies, he would hesitate, if he hesitated he would falter, and if he faltered....it could mean Keith's demise, and that was something he wasn't willing to allow.

Not now. Not ever. Not as long as he kept on breathing.

"How-" Ath tried to speak, but Lance covered his mouth with his free hand, holding him in place, making sure he wouldn't blow their cover and expose Lance's lies. The Galran seemed to bit his lip under his hand, crestfallen and seeping failure from his every pore. His brother, meanwhile, looked confused and angered, eyebrows drawn in as his yellow eyes narrowed until not even a pinprick of his puplis remained.

"Now, now, this is a nice reunion and all but- he pressed the muzzle of his blaster with more force- we're in the middle of something, so I would appreciate if you left, _now_." Eoth locked eyes with Lance, a myriad of emotions crossing his face as he glanced at his hostage, mouth upturning in disgust and obvious rage.

Lance could relate, he felt like the worst of scum for this.

Eoth seemed to debate something, closing his eyes before his laser was aimed towards Lance instead of Keith, the red paladin's intake of breath filled with distress. The other's hands didn't seem to be shaking in the slightest, and he sported a determined expression that spoke volumes of his worth as a soldier, the dedication to his cause.

For a tick there, Lance thought he would fire, that he held their cause above whatever feelings of affection he had towards his family, that he was resolved to do what was needed to follow in on Zarkon's ideals. He held his breath for the whole minute they were in a stand-off, face to face, gauging each other's reactions, looking for weaknesses or openings.

Lance knew he had none, none but Keith. But he was ready to keep him safe if the occasion asked for it, and he wasn't worried about himself, he had _time_.

He had life enough to spare.

Eoth seemed to understand this, maybe he saw something in his eyes, maybe not. But Lance's patience was running thin, the Red haze of his memories rising bitterness in his throat, and he decided to give him an ultimatum and be done with it already.

There was an itch far away on the back of his mind. And he didn't like it.

"Well? I'm a tick away from blowing his brains out. You choose what to do, I honestly don't care either way." He could feel Keith's surprise and concern at his words, disturbed by the bold and crude statement. It wasn't that he liked it either, but he had no time to measure _what_ he said or _how_ he said it, he was looking for a response, an answer, a step forward.

And his brain couldn't think of anything else, the anger and fear of his mistakes driving him to be slightly cruel, not filtering what he said, letting his innermost turmoil surface and guide him.

It seemed to work.

Eoth maintained his position for a few seconds, and then his hand trembled and his eyes looked at Lance with a raging hate, burning him with its intensity before his weapon was lowered slowly until his arm lay limp at his side, his disgusted expression never leaving.

Lance felt like smiling -or crying, whichever came first- the taste of victory already sweet on his tongue. The corners of his mouth tilted up, and, regardless of being taken as deranged, he couldn't seem to help the need to do it.

_He did it, they were safe, Keith was safe._

_He did it-_

The itch he'd felt earlier bloomed into a rash, and a shrill sound akin to a scream left him breathless, eyes wide open as his heart threatened to burst from his chest.

_ No. You... _

The whispers grew in a crescendo of mingling voices and sounds, deafening and painful, giggles and cries distorting and twisting into their own version of hell. He held his breath and fought against it, moved his limbs and forced his eyes open, focusing on his surroundings- he wasn't going to go down this time- he was ready to counter them- push them away-

They weren't going to win _this_ time.

He bit his lip until he drew blood, and moved as quick as his body would allow, standing in between Keith and Eoth, just to be safe. He wouldn't be held immobile this time, he wouldn't freeze- he could move his body just fine, he wasnt going to allow the dark tendrils on the other side to root him to the spot, unable to help his friend-

He was so focused on being able to move, on taking into account everyhting around him, that he noticed too late the way his finger twitched.

His breath hitched as a scream built in the back of his throat, eyes wide and a ' _no'_ about to leave his lips-

His finger pressed the trigger.

And then it was red, red, red all over again.

The body before him slowly fell to the ground, as if in slow motion, and Lance stood there, numb, frozen, listening to the giggles that dripped malice and vile down his ears, his hand shaking, legs trembling as his gaze landed on the blood dripping down his hands, his chest, his gun.

He touched his cheek and his fingertips came back red, his mind empty save the hue of the color he drowned in and the steady drip, drip, drip of the blood falling to the floor. He blinked once, twice, three times, his eyes looking at his gun, the muzzle smoking as the smell of burnt flesh reached his nostrils-

Everything dawned over him like a downpour, the blaster fell to the floor, vile rose in his throat as a scream threatened to tear his vocal chords, his chest felt tight and he couldn't breathe and he coughed and no air reached his lungs-

_What had he done- why- he didn't- he couldn't breathe- it hurt- it hurts-_

" _Lance_! Watch out!" Keith's voice sounded distorted as it reached his ears, but he had no time to focus on anything as a searing pain tore through his shoulder and threw him to the ground, his back colliding with the metal and stealing whatever breath he had left, helmet skidding away from impact.

He thought he blacked out for a moment.

But the next he was squirming, struggling to turn on his side, retching on the floor as his eyes watered and his chest constricted, throat feeling like someone was choking him, nails scratching at the metal floors until his hands hurt and burnt but _none of it mattered._

God, he was a murderer- he had just- in cold blood-

 _He hadn't meant to, he didn't want to_ \- his finger just moved on it's own, and he knew it hadn't been him- he had perfect control over his movements, he was precise and overly careful with his shooting- he never twitched, he was always in control- _he would've never-_

A sound like a sob left his lips as he crawled on the floor, his shoulder stabbing at him with a deep stinging pain that made him see white. He could still feel the phantom touch of dark tendrils shrouding his finger, so faint, a thread so thin and concealed it had sneaked on him without alerting him, with no warning.

He'd heard the whispers, he'd thought _he_ was in control, that he was ready to keep them at bay. But even through the smallest of fissures they'd managed to sneak through Black's wall, a presence so small and inconspicuous that he hadn't noticed it's foul touch until it was too late.

He opened his mouth to say something, apologize maybe, pointless as it was. But only a gurgle and garbled words spilled out, his energy seeping with every whimper and choke.

He stopped moving and just lay there, torn and broken, useless, tainted. There was a growing wetness under him, and he didn't know if it was his own blood and tears, or the vomit he'd surely got on himself.

He was disgusted either way.

He coughed and tried to clutch his shoulder, but his right arm was strewn in front of him, and his left was heavy and unresponsive, tucked to his side. He tried to crawl onto his knees but even that small movement jostled his wound and made him cry out in pain, eyes watering as he tried to think through the haze of distress and sorrowful screams inside his crowded mind.

He had to- to do something- he had to- protect...? Red.....red, red so much red....

Red.

 _Keith_.

Where- where was Keith? Was he okay? Was he hurt? Did he...did he hate him now? Oh god he must be so disgusted with him right now- he didn't meant to, he'd been careless- He needed to find him, make sure he was okay- at least....It was the least he could do.

He groaned and turned his head to the side, resting his cheek on the floor even as it got damp, his breaths still erratic and his chest still tight and burning. But it was all inconsequential in the face of his mission, what he'd come prepared to do in the first place, _keep Keith safe._

He strained his ears as his breath stuttered with hiccups and choked wails, his enhanced ears catching the sound of fighting close by, metal screeching and grunts reaching his muddled mind. Keith's voice was clear admist the cacophony of noise, both inside and outside his brain, and he tried his best to focus on it, let it surround him and erase everything else besides his rough and raspy tones, trying in vain to quiet the maelstrom under his skin.

It wouldn't wind down, neither the noises, nor the pain or the anguish. But he had to- had to find his teammate, make sure he was fine- as long as Keith was alive, as long as he lived- at least...it would have been all worth it. It would have been.....

He repeated the same thing over and over again, like a mantra, like a prayer. He didn't know who he was trying to convince. There was only _him_.

He blinked and looked around, disoriented and dizzy. His vision was blurry as he lay face down on the floor, and through his eyes, fuzzy and wobbly as everything was, he could see Ath a few feet before him, unmoving in a pool of his own blood, the stench making his eyes tear up, distorting his vision even more.

The crimson seemed to taunt him, reach for him, flowing unrestrained in tendrils like tree branches, a steady stream of an intense velvet that brough back past sobs and screams and grief. He swallowed down every single one, denying himself the time to mourn and drown in regret and self-loathing, and looked up, trying to focus his eyes, desperately looking for the Red paladin, his armor blending in with the red haze that blinded him.

For a split second, his vision cleared, and he saw Keith as he sidestepped a sword, and then a laser beam, flipping backwards and twirling around before he kicked Eoth square on the chest, sending him skidding towards the wall with a grunt. But the other rose as if unbothered, expression enraged and movements rash and feral, firing a barrage of shots that managed to graze Keith's cheek as the other screamed, a need for vengeance and a thirst for blood dripping from his being, and straight into Lance's heart.

He resisted the urge to cry. Or apologize. Or both.

He caught snippets of Eoth's angered shouts as their fight moved on, his voice drenched in sorrow and grief and a thin veil of betrayal that hurt him deeper that any stab- ' -paladin's _pride_ -' 'where is the value of your word now!'- 'you have no honor, you are no soldier!' - 'this pain.....going to.....give back....ten fold!'- '...know my....suffering!'.

He couldn't stay there, couldn't keep moping for something out of his control- he had to help, Keith was counting on him, he'd promised he'd save him, he had to do _something_.

Trying to ignore the piercing pain on his shoulder, he put both his arms under his body and pushed, clenching his jaw to the point it hurt, getting his knees under him before his left arm faltered and he wobbled, his body balancing precariously until he found some semblance of balance.

He was panting from just maneuvering his body in a sitting position, and the dizziness and slight blur on his vision hadn't faded at all. His back felt too hot and he was sweating, but his hands were cold and he was shivering too, small tremors raking his body and making him more sick.

Ath's body lay crumpled in a heap before him, and he quickly apologized and prayed for his soul, tears springing on his eyes before he glanced towards the battle going on once more. He tuned just in time to see Keith drop-kick Eoth and do an evasive maneuver, crouching down low and aiming at his legs before doing an uppercut and slashing upwards with his bayard, managing to cut the Galran's cheek when the other was unable to match his speed.

Their enemy didn't stand a chance.

But even so, Eoth was fueled by desperation and rage, Lance could see it in the way his purple aura burnt, the smoke smothering his lungs as he breathed it in, drowned in it, the need for revenge overwhelming every sense on his body. He took every hit Keith threw at him, retaliating with a barrage of laser-beams and a body-slam that caught the red paladin on the shoulder, making him lose his balance and trip backwards.

Keith did a backflip and evaded a swipe to his face, then quickly rolled on the floor towards Lance's position, taking out his shield to intercept a shot sent his way, then remaining on the defensive against the attacks instead of returning them. Lance could see _why_. His teammate was sweating and panting, growing tired of having to defend both himself and Lance, who was just slumped there uselessly, a sitting duck.

The more he observed, the more he saw how Keith tried to keep Eoth's attention on himself, watching as the Galran tried time and time again to fire in the direction Lance was sitting, just to get foiled by Keith everytime, making his anger escalate.

If only he could help in some way....but he needed both arms to shoot, he would just be a nuisance like this, get in the way. He needed to, at least, not be a burden to Keith, tuck himself in a corner where the enemy wouldn't be able to hurt him so the red paladin could fight to his heart's content.

Maybe he should have been more worried, Keith was the one in danger, after all. But Lance knew that without him to worry about and hold him back, Keith would unleash the full extent of his skills, and Eoth didn't stand a chance. There was no escape from the red paladin's fire once it'd ignited, it would burn through skin and bones and leave nothing but ashes, dust of the adversaries that got too close to the flames.

He had faith that Keith wouldn't lose. But he needed Lance to be away for that.

It was okay, he could do that.

He groaned and whimpered, his body protesting at the mere idea of getting up. But he ignored every instinct that told him to stay put and got up on wobbly legs, feeling like jelly, his left side flaming like lightning had struck. When he was completely straight, a sharp stabbing sensation made his vision black out for a tick, and he managed to keep his balance by sheer luck alone.

But his luck didn't last long.

As his vision slowly came back, dark spots dancing before his eyes, he saw Eoth fire his gun and hit Keith's shoulder, sending him skidding backwards, where he then proceeded to throw the blaster at Keith's face, throwing him to the ground with the force of the impact as it caught him by surprise.

Lance panicked.

Tried to work his body or mouth for a warning as Eoth reached on his back pocket for something- but the next second, the Galran was brandishing a smaller weapon, it's muzzle shining with a charging beam that felt hot even from where he was standing and-

And pointed towards _him_.

His breath hitched, looking directly towards the weapon about to fire at him. He was powerless to do anything, his body wasn't responding, he wasn't quick enough to move, he was too dizzy and wobbly to react.

The last thought he had before the weapon fired, was the he was glad it was him instead of Keith, that this time around, at least, _he_ wouldn't have to suffer.

"This is for my brother!" Eoth shouted. The trigger was pressed. The beam approached fast as lightning-

"LANCE!" He closed his eyes and resigned himself to the pain that would inevitably befall him, the searing heat of the strange weapon already scorching his skin, the air humid and his breath laboured as it burnt closer and closer-

His ears rang and he staggered, equilibrium gone, the high pitch deafening everything-

Until it suddenly stopped.

The heat was no more.

He heard the tail end of a scream and then the swish of metal flying through the air, a grunt of pain and a garbled curse, a heavy thud and a shuddering breath and the stench of blood filling his nostrils. He could feel cold metal under his hands, and the sensation of his legs under his knees, his body slumped forward as his head sagged, seeming to weight tons.

When had that happened? When had he fallen? He couldn't remember.

"Lance...." A call of his name gave him back some semblance of consciousness, snatched him back from his confused haze and towards reality. And he realized he should be dead- or hurt at the very least, bleeding and broken on the floor- But nothing hurt besides his shoulder, _that wasn't right, that wasn't_ -

He forced his eyes open and looked up-

He wished he hadn't.

Keith stood before him, giving him his back, smoke rising from his armor with his arm stretched forward towards where Eoth lay, slumped on the floor with his Keith's luxite knife sticking out of his chest, right through the heart, blood pooling around him while empty eyes gazed at nothing.

Lance trembled and forced his eyes to look at his teammate again, just in time to watch him wobble and his knees give out, falling backwards and right into his outstretched arms. It hurt, his shoulder hurt and his arm was on fire, but he didn't care- Keith was, he was-

"Keith!" He caught him under his arms, nearly toppling over himself with the weight of his unmoving body, left hand unconsciously sneaking around Keith's chest to rest by his heart, feeling the steady beating of it, trying to reassure himself that it was okay.

But it wasn't.

He maneuvered his friend so he was resting on his lap, and felt tears coming to his eyes as he caught sight of his battered body. God- no, this couldn't be happening, not _again_ , please-

A whimper escaped him as he took in all the damage he'd suffered; his armor was smoking and burnt, cracked and broken in many places, the fabric of his gloves had been volatilized and the skin underneath was raw and red, scorched and inflamed and bleeding slightly. His cheek fared no better, and Keith let out a whimper as Lance cradled it carefully, his own fingers trembling in his panic.

Parts of his armor had melted and fused with his skin, and it looked painful, and even his hair had been burnt somehow, the strands turned to ash and destroying that mullet that had been his trademark. For some reason, just looking at it made him cry harder, and he outright sobbed at the slight smile still present on Keith's lips as he slowly leaned in the hand cupping his face.

He thought he let out an agonized scream. He couldn't tell.

He refused to look down.

"Keith....hey, open your eyes, look at me _please_." Keith scrunched up his nose and moaned in distress, blinking his eyes open slowly and focusing on Lance, his breaths swallow and pained.

"He...y..." Keith's voice grated against his throat, voice coming out like a croak, broken and faint. "Yo..u....'kay?" He tried to fight the tears that fell down his cheeks, contain the sobs and whimpers that fought their way out his throat. But it was useless, and they began seeping past his bitten lips as he struggled to form words.

"Idiot....d-don't....you're gonna- be fine, you'll s-see." A melancholic expression took over Keiths features, his breath hitching as he coughed, the red he despised so much dripping down his lips and chin. Lance brushed it away with his thumb, as if he could hide the damage that way, pretend it didn't exist, it didn't happen.

He still refused to look down.

"D'nno...bout....t..that..." Keith tried to laugh, but it turned out more like a grimace, his chest lurching up as more coughs rattled him. Lance held his hand in his panic, crying even more when his friend held his hand back, squeezing hard as the pain surged through every nerve in his body.

He could feel how bad it was through his voice, could see the way his aura struggled to remain above the surface, only to be drowned by a searing agony that left him breathless.

He wouldn't look down, he wouldn't.

Keith wheezed and heaved, closing his eyes as a few stray tears fell from the corner of his eyes, his face already too pale, the hand he was grasping growing colder and colder. "Hey, c'mon, _breathe_ Keith you- you'll be okay. I'm gonna take you back to Coran, h-he'll fix you in a jiffy y-you'll see." He tried to sound reassuring, but his voice broke halfway through and he choked on a wail, throat clogged with despair.

Turning his head towards him, Keith regarded Lance with a pitying look, his brows furrowed and lips tilted in melancholic smile." La...nce....sto..p." He shook his head, wanting to ask what he meant, trying to think the best way to lift his friend off the ground without hurting him further.

He couldn't focus on what Keith was saying, couldn't feel anything other than the smell of burnt flesh and the heat of the armor above his tights and the scorched, ashen skin under his hands-

A hand shakily rested above Lance's left one, the one that was just above Keith's heart, feeling the faint thumps and praying for the next one to come, keep on beating, keep on living. The fingers interlocking with his own trembled with the effort, and he was forced to look deep into Keith's eyes, finding acceptance and resignation in there.

_No-nonononono-_

"La...nce.....sto...p...." His own hand shook with the shivers running down his spine, and his wrist accidentally slipped down, down....do..wn....

And right towards the gaping hole in the middle of Keiht's chest, skin marred and charred and broken, pieces of armor melted and embedded within the flesh in a grotesque mash-up, veins torn and muscle shredded to bits, blood pooling to the floor in a never ending stream.

He gagged and choked on a sob, fingers dirty from where they touched the blackened skin, still warm from the blast that he'd taken, the one that had been meant for Lance.

"Keith.... _why_?" He wailed. "Why did you d-do that? Why did you save _me_? This time, I almost-" _I almost saved you. I- where did I go wrong? Why didn't the lion's quintessence block the whispers? Why do they keep tormenting me? What's going on? What do I do?_

_What......what can I do? How do I keep you safe?_

Keith hummed and buried his face on Lance's chest. Lance curled around him without meaning to, unable to breath, watching as his teammate smiled softly, fleetingly squeezing his hands before a sigh left his lips, and then-

Nothing.

The noise inside his chest ceased, no small puffs of air left his lips, his brows relaxed and his hands went lax in Lance's grip, the warmth of his body vanished with every tick that passed by, and the small flame that still remained was snuffed away.

Gone.

He felt the second their bond broke. The thread snapped and fizzled out like small fireworks, embers vanishing with the last traces of Keith's life, an echo of satisfaction and gratitude and accomplishment making him scream as loud as his lungs would allow.

It wasn't fair- it wasn't fair at all. Not the way his emotions made him feel, nor the weight Keith had left him to carry, the knowledge of his feelings too heavy, too painful-

_Accomplishment._

In finally doing something good for him, protect him for once. Being a good leader, a good _paladin_.

_Satisfaction._

At having saved the life of someone he held dear, protect what was his. _Family_.

 _Gratitude_.

For him being there, for not letting him die alone, for the comfort, the love. For everything. Being a good _friend_.

His throat hurt, raw from the anguished screams he let free, Red's own being channeled through him, feral and intense and angry. So, so _angry_.

He yelled and clutched Keith closer, desperate to wake up from this nightmare, begging for it all to be a mistake, a dream. He'd been so _close_ , he'd done everything right, it was going to be okay. He'd seen it in Eoth's eyes, that he wasn't going to fire, that he valued his brother more than this war. He'd taken advantage of their love, their relationship, and used it as a weakness to be exploited.

It had been horrible and made him feel sick, but it had been all worth it in the end because Keith was _alive_ \- he was okay, he'd succeeded, but then-

 _Darkness_.

Syrupy and thick, slithering under Black's nose, whose attention had been split between the fight, caring for his pilots, maintaining Lance's shield, and trying to see what'd been happening in his end.

The hands had crawled and escaped the clutches of the lion's quintessence, the help they gave him to save his friend. And he hadn't noticed them, they had adapted, evolved, going for a stealthy tactic, catching him unawares until it was too late to do anything-

"AHHHH!" He curled closer around Keith, screaming in frustration and grief, burning himself with his armor. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry- I was so close this time I-...if only you hadn't saved me, then maybe-" If only he could go back in time- if only he could discover what the interference was- what the shadows lurking under the surface where-

But he couldn't do that now, Black had repeated again and again how wrong they felt, how _dangerous_. He couldn't let the wall crumble, didn't know what would happen to him if he did. He was- he was scared, so so scared. And no one knew what was happening or what he was going through- no one could help him, he was alone and he didn't know what to do-

"Keith...." He looked down onto his peaceful features, and felt some of his resolution come back, his chest hurting from the cries that still raked his body. He was tried, so tired, it hurt and he only wanted to keel over and cry himself to sleep, forget everything and wake up in a world where death wasn't awaiting to steal from him those he loved.

But that world didn't exist. Yet.

And if he wanted it to, he'd have to make it a reality.

He would have to fight death itself, as many times as it took, until it's hands couldn't reach the people he cherished, until it realized that his family was off limits. And he would twist reality incessantly and mess with the laws of the universe and logic itself if it meant he could save those he held close from a terrible fate.

He was nothing if not persistent.

His powers had to be worth _something_.

"I'm sorry Keith....that you...for me...." He trailed off, running a hand through dark locks, brushing soot from his cheekbone and leaning down until they touched foreheads, his breaths swallow with the guilt that he carried like a chain, making him unable to move forward until things were set right.

He glanced at his friend one last time, and couldn't bring himself to carry him all the way to the cliff anymore, not with the state he was in, not with how broken his body was, and how Lance's own felt like giving out any second.

He chose, instead, to reach for his blaster, turning the dial until it was at max setting, resting the muzzle on his temple, hands shaking in fear and distress and longing and grief and-

Too many emotions to name.

He knew Black was trying to reach him, a feeling of danger and concern and _wrong_ begging him to _stay, wait_ \- but he didn't, couldn't. He couldn't hesitate right now. Not when the universe was trying to snatch away a part of himself, of the family he'd come to love like his blood-related one.

It was unforgivable.

Something out of his control was happening, trying to force his hand into a move that he couldn't grasp, couldn't understand, dumping into him sorrows unknown for a goal that he couldn't make sense of.

Something was trying to pry from his hands the things he held most dear.

But he was nothing if not stubborn.

He was going to save Keith, _no matter what._

And he didn't have a choice but to consider anyone that dared interfere in his mission as an enemy. Even if said enemy was in his own mind, even if it was something invisible that he couldn't fight.

He just wasn't about to give up. Not on him. Not now. Not ever.

So he held his blaster tighter, finger on the trigger as sweat rolled down his cheek, willing his mind to empty itself of doubt and fear and hold onto the thought of Keith's smiles, all of which he'd been privy to, the one Red had shared with him before, the one he'd witnessed only minutes ago, the many ones he still had to share.

He breathed in.

When his finger moved, it was quickly and with purpose.

He didn't even feel the heat.

He felt nothing as he faded within the usual swamp of darkness. But through his waning consciousness and sense of self, he thought he heard ominous whispers and the same laugh that still haunted him to this day, accompanying him as he fell, echoing with an intent that was nothing short of malicious.

Consciousness shattering and mind fragmenting, senses dissipating admist confusion and the last shreds of awareness he held onto, he'd had the fleeting thought that he'd played right into _their_ hands.

But he didn't know who _they_ were.

And then he woke up, and the thought had slipped through his fingers like smoke, leaving behind a fleeting sense of urgency and a smidge of worry, but nothing full-fledged that he could process, only sensations.

He brushed them away and stood tall, his focus on one thing and one thing only.

_Save Keith._

_Whatever it takes._

The universe might be intent on taking him away.

But Lance had ten thousand year old mechanical lions on his side, alongside some mysterious powers and the headstrong blood of the McClain family running through his veins.

The universe could try all it wanted.

McClains never lost.

And neither would he.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Come scream at me on tumblr http://ulticakey.tumblr.com/


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